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  #1  
Old 09-30-2021, 03:36 PM
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CFrance CFrance is offline
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Default Dear Cats and Dogs

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of
food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.



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  #2  
Old 09-30-2021, 03:58 PM
jdulej jdulej is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CFrance View Post
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of
food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.



Great post! And so true! Somehow we love them anyway!
  #3  
Old 09-30-2021, 04:15 PM
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graciegirl graciegirl is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CFrance View Post
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of
food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.



Oh Thank you. Our kitties needed to read this.
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  #4  
Old 09-30-2021, 09:03 PM
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I am going to post for our kitty, but since she 'let's us live here' I doubt she will follow the instructions.

Dogs have masters, cats have slaves...........
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  #5  
Old 09-30-2021, 10:05 PM
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Taltarzac725 Taltarzac725 is offline
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Except that dogs and cats cannot read or they act like they cannot read anything whatsoever. I stand corrected-- Can Dogs Read?.
  #6  
Old 10-01-2021, 03:57 AM
jbartle1 jbartle1 is offline
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Giggle, snort, will pass this on to my furry friend.
  #7  
Old 10-01-2021, 04:52 AM
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  #8  
Old 10-01-2021, 04:59 AM
chenault55 chenault55 is offline
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Default Cats and dogs

Quote:
Originally Posted by CFrance View Post
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of
food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.



This hilarious and so true! Thank you so much for giving me a smile this morning!
  #9  
Old 10-01-2021, 05:11 AM
DaleDivine DaleDivine is offline
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  #10  
Old 10-01-2021, 05:58 AM
cleosmum cleosmum is offline
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Love this! Thanks for starting my day off on a happy note!

Last edited by cleosmum; 10-01-2021 at 05:59 AM. Reason: Didn’t like graphics.
  #11  
Old 10-01-2021, 06:15 AM
Tomptomp Tomptomp is offline
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I think you may have met Charlie.my 9 pound greyhound who gave me permission to respond to your post.
  #12  
Old 10-01-2021, 06:26 AM
Garvey54 Garvey54 is offline
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🤣🤣🤣
  #13  
Old 10-01-2021, 06:42 AM
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Jewelz Jewelz is offline
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Love it- THANKS for sharing!!!!
  #14  
Old 10-01-2021, 06:47 AM
Janlindsey4@gmail.com Janlindsey4@gmail.com is offline
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Default What a great start to my day! Thank you!

What a great way to start my day! Thanks for the clever humor!
  #15  
Old 10-01-2021, 07:09 AM
aldeana aldeana is offline
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Smile to dogs and cats --

Hilarious!
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