Dogs vs Cats

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  #16  
Old 02-23-2022, 06:12 AM
John-US John-US is offline
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Originally Posted by thevillages2013 View Post
Their bathroom is in the house. Disgusting. That’s all
And you have an outhouse? - good lord people.
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Old 02-23-2022, 06:38 AM
Rosie1950 Rosie1950 is offline
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Originally Posted by thevillages2013 View Post
Their bathroom is in the house. Disgusting. That’s all
And let’s not forget the counter, when u own a cat, they surf the counters. Anyone who says their cat doesn’t do that is delusional, unless of course they made the cat so fat it can’t jump that high.
While ur sleeping ur litter box is on the tables and counters.
That’s the reason I hate potlucks.
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Old 02-23-2022, 06:53 AM
Djean1981 Djean1981 is offline
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We had a tiny cat that couldn't jump up to the counters.
  #19  
Old 02-23-2022, 07:02 AM
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And you have an outhouse? - good lord people.
Pretty sure he/she knows how to flush... As opposed to scooping crap out of sand IN one's home...
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  #20  
Old 02-23-2022, 07:08 AM
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Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
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  #21  
Old 02-23-2022, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by gbs317 View Post
Evil kitty has control over all.
Yipsters!
  #22  
Old 02-23-2022, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Rosie1950 View Post
And let’s not forget the counter, when u own a cat, they surf the counters. Anyone who says their cat doesn’t do that is delusional, unless of course they made the cat so fat it can’t jump that high.
While ur sleeping ur litter box is on the tables and counters.
That’s the reason I hate potlucks.
We had a cat for 14 years and he never got on the table or counters.
He could scale our 6' fence so I know he could have jumped on the counters if he wanted to. I guess he just wasn't curious enough to try. We have cameras set up to watch when we're not at home.
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Old 02-23-2022, 07:39 AM
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Originally Posted by thevillages2013 View Post
Their bathroom is in the house. Disgusting. That’s all
I installed a permanent doggy door for our little dogs and our cat.
We kept the cat litter box on the lanai... NOT in the house.
  #24  
Old 02-23-2022, 08:10 AM
JanetMM JanetMM is offline
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Originally Posted by JMintzer View Post
Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
Absolutely perfect! Did you read you cat’s diary?! Gave me a good laugh. Thanks!
  #25  
Old 02-23-2022, 08:13 AM
NotGolfer NotGolfer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugMom View Post
the super smart ones can do many things! i knew a german shorthaired pointer that could climb the chain link run fence, scale the top & leap over. after we had to put him in a more enclosed space, he taught himself how to open the latch on the kennel gate. VERY smart creatures, probably much like your 2 babies
We once had a poodle like that. She got where we couldn't leave her at a kennel if we traveled because then she wouldn't eat. This was over 30 yrs ago. She was super-smart!
  #26  
Old 02-23-2022, 08:29 AM
Johnsocat Johnsocat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thevillages2013 View Post
Their bathroom is in the house. Disgusting. That’s all
Isn't that where your bathroom is? Lol
  #27  
Old 02-23-2022, 09:40 AM
chuckk281 chuckk281 is offline
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Anyone know why Sammy Jo's in Mulberry Plaza has been shut down for "Maintenance"?
  #28  
Old 02-23-2022, 10:07 AM
fdpaq0580 fdpaq0580 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMintzer View Post
Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
So funny!!! 😂
  #29  
Old 02-23-2022, 10:24 AM
lynnschindel lynnschindel is offline
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Default Hilarious!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JMintzer View Post
Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
Thanks for posting this! I needed a good laugh today. Loved it!
  #30  
Old 02-23-2022, 01:16 PM
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jebartle jebartle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMintzer View Post
Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
This reminds me of the parrot/burgler/ dog joke, wish I could find, I'm sure everyone has heard it. Cunny
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