Dangerous and Sleazy Websites

[Carl in Tampa]

On Tuesday, May 20, Bill O'Reilly had two guests on his "Back of The Book" segment who were asked to name the most dangerous and sleazy websites on the Internet.

I found it of interest that one of the guests named a site that came to my attention for the first time a few months ago through mention of it on TOTV. It was a site where quasi-anonymous people were impersonating registered TOTV personalities and making very derogatory posts about them. I say quali-anonymous rather than anonymous because there is at least one TOTV regular poster who has identified the screen name he uses on the other site.

The O'Reilly guest who named that site characterized it this way, "Alex Little went with a site called Topix. "It describes itself as an online forum for local communities," he said, "but it has become the virtual bathroom wall where folks write whatever they want about their neighbors and their enemies. It's a hotbed of slander and defamation."

Having visited it solely to understand how some TOTV personalities were being hurt by the postings, I agree with Mr. Little. It is a site that I have chosen to ignore.

:censored:

[mgjim]

[Clipped]
Having visited it solely to understand how some TOTV personalities were being hurt by the postings, I agree with Mr. Little. It is a site that I have chosen to ignore.

I absolutely agree with you. I visited that site recently just to see what people said about The Villages. Mostly nasty people who have nothing better to do than insult each other. What a waste of time. For all it's faults, I'll stick with TOTV.

[redwitch]

I don't know if I'd characterize it as sleazy and not convinced it is truly dangerous but it is one of the ugliest sites I've ever had the misfortune to visit and most definitely is extremely hurtful. I found it sad that these people had nothing better to do than try to hurt each other and others. What a pathetic group of little people.

[Patty55]

I did a quick look-see over there. How sad. How revealing. One poster (the one who identified himself) was someone I actually respected a bit (based on the love he had for his dog), now not so much.

I found the conversation regarding me laughable. I'm allegedly a Republican, an alter ego of another poster but hey, apparently the word is that I look good while I do it :thumbup:

[skyguy79]

The Topix (or should I say Toxic) website is very much as Carl describes. I have only been to the website about 3 or 4 times over the past few years, and have never posted anything on it. However, I recently did a Google search on my own screen name of skyguy, and surprisingly found I was mentioned about 4 or 5 months ago. The troll accused me in their post, of making a mean post (or something similar as I don't remember exactly what was said) under an alias name just before they posted their flaming message. That's nothing however, compared to how they attack some other active TOTVers, but it does show the extent of just how sick this individual or those creeps are. Try Googling your own TOTV screen name + topix, and don't be surprised if you just happen to be mentioned for no logical or apparent reason.

[BarryRX]

Freedom is a messy thing. The web sites you describe pale in comparison to other sites that support pedophilia or are racist. Idiots like the nazi party have a website.

[buggyone]

Freedom is a messy thing. The web sites you describe pale in comparison to other sites that support pedophilia or are racist. Idiots like the nazi party have a website.

I definitely agree with you. Topix is very disagreeable but not dangerous like others that actually preach armed takeover of our country - and these are from groups that call themselves American " patriots".

[Taltarzac725]

Freedom is a messy thing. The web sites you describe pale in comparison to other sites that support pedophilia or are racist. Idiots like the nazi party have a website.

I agree there are some extremely cruel and nasty web-sites out there. If they are confined to an audience of just a few people though they seem the equivalent say of what a few gossips at a local Villages' pool are saying about their neighbors. And, if they do say something of an actual libelous nature, the parties involved can take them to court. If you want to defend yourselves, you can try on Topix as well.

I got into a 5 year flaming war on Findlaw (2001-2006) with a man who needed my help to find appellate caselaw in his white collar crime defense. He would vigorously attack the Judges in his County on Findlaw as well and other people. I suppose these Judges just let this man blow of steam as no one took him seriously. In a rage, he started attacking me while pretending to be a friend in our e-mail exchanges as well as on his regular handle. I never figured out who this Mr. Hyde like persona was until he started bragging about playing me for a fool around 2005. I must have written thousands of complaints about Mr. Hyde to the Findlaw Sysop; hundreds to others as well like to my US Representative in Palm Harbor, FL and the police departments in both his County in Virginia and the Sheriff's Office in Pinellas County, Florida when I learned about this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde like duality in 2005. I had complained about this Mr. Hyde when I went in person down to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office to complain about various stuff including this Mr. Hyde on September 17, 2002. I also gave them copies of some of the nasty Findlaw messages of Mr. Hyde, they (Detectives Crandell and much later Det. Warner via phone) just said there was a First Amendment right of Free Speech and people say nastier things when they are not face-to-face. I gave them (Crandell) several hundred copies of documents (maybe 200?) I had had picked up in my victims/survivors rights' campaign as well from around 1990 onward. I had bigger fish to fry with these documents but my Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kept knocking over my frying pan.

I do not believe getting all upset about the equivalent of some boy wrote on a bathroom wall in high school say about the girl who dumped him is all that useful. If there are broader issues involved, yes, get involved. I was on Findlaw for so long because very important issues were involved.

Topix though is one bathroom wall I am not going to even bother looking at. I am quite certain that the more dangerous web-sites are carefully monitored by the FBI, human rights' groups, the CIA if abroad, the NSA, and an alphabet of other organizations including the Southern Poverty Law Center. http://www.splcenter.org/

On a lighter note, I have been playing FunTrivia Daily Private Tournaments. One of these Private Tournaments has some not-so-good players, so I can win often in that one. I won most of this week and started to get very nasty comments left by some man or woman named Tatty. I think he/she is just trash talking so I am off my game. It worked one day. But, now I am just going to ignore whatever baiting this gamer throws at me. This is not on the TOTV FunTrivia game http://www.funtrivia.com/private/main.cfm?tid=101297 as there are some very knowledgeable and skillful players on the TOTV Private Tournament. The FunTrivia moderators are great at kicking off anyone who plays dirty but I guess they have no say in the Private Tournaments.

[CFrance]

I hope GG's reading this.

[Taltarzac725]

I hope GG's reading this.

I did look at the Topix a few months ago and GG was the main target. I have found her a great friend to newcomers on TOTV as well as a shoulder to cry on in the very infrequent but very mild personal attacks on TOTV.

She has sent me some very welcome and friendly Private Messages.

They seemed to allow obscene sounding handles on Topix. That should tell you how seriously you should take that site.

My Findlaw cybersmearer was often obscene in some posts but would also appear very mature in others. That's why I had such a hard time figuring out who he was. And, extremely two faced people really put me off.

[Patty55]

There have been many times that I've been annoyed by the level of censorship on this board but after reading TOPIX I get it-kind of-LOL. You would think that a group of adults could govern themselves, but apparently not. :ohdear:

Pedophiles and predators are a different situation, leaving victims in its wake and desensitizing the pedophiles into thinking their actions are acceptable. I also think parents have a responsibility to be aware of what their children are posting and try to see it through the predators eyes.

I believe in the First Amendment and that you can't pick and choose what is acceptable. You have to take the good with the bad, I don't have to agree with it, I don't have to read it but I do defend the wackos right to voice their opinion.

The TOPIX thing is just laughably stupid and revealing. I know others are hurt at what is being written, me, I couldn't care less. What a bunch of YENTAS.

[Bucco]

TOPIX is so very troubling on so many levels.

As someone who seems to be in the cross hairs of some of the attacks, it really makes you feel sleazy as they demean your online persona. Worthwhile to add, the posters there simply make stuff up. If I am a member of some clique as advertised up there, I never get notices for the meetings nor get all the pm's supposedly sent to me.

What is most disconcerting to me is that these are Village residents posting there....and they are "among us". They post on here as well as there and that, to me, is extremely upsetting.

[Patty55]

Hey Bucco, I think you are part of my clique, must be true, I read it on TOPIX. Sorry you missed all our past meetings, the next meeting will be held at the new TADS-the one near the Coach store, not the one near the waterpark. Hope to see you there.:icon_hungry:

[CFrance]

TOPIX is so very troubling on so many levels.

As someone who seems to be in the cross hairs of some of the attacks, it really makes you feel sleazy as they demean your online persona. Worthwhile to add, the posters there simply make stuff up. If I am a member of some clique as advertised up there, I never get notices for the meetings nor get all the pm's supposedly sent to me.

What is most disconcerting to me is that these are Village residents posting there....and they are "among us". They post on here as well as there and that, to me, is extremely upsetting.

Hey Bucco, I think you are part of my clique, must be true, I read it on TOPIX. Sorry you missed all our past meetings, the next meeting will be held at the new TADS-the one near the Coach store, not the one near the waterpark. Hope to see you there.:icon_hungry:
I wanna be in the "click"! I wanna be in it!!!:MOJE_whot::MOJE_whot:

[Taltarzac725]

TOPIX is so very troubling on so many levels.

As someone who seems to be in the cross hairs of some of the attacks, it really makes you feel sleazy as they demean your online persona. Worthwhile to add, the posters there simply make stuff up. If I am a member of some clique as advertised up there, I never get notices for the meetings nor get all the pm's supposedly sent to me.

What is most disconcerting to me is that these are Village residents posting there....and they are "among us". They post on here as well as there and that, to me, is extremely upsetting.

You should see what used to come up when you Googled my real name. (Lots of really nasty attacks by Snopes Tinfoil Hat board people and the Snopes Administrator gave me no access to defend myself which is extremely TROUBLING). I doubt if anyone active on the Internet has much control of what others may see. At least, on Findlaw's message boards I had all kinds of ways of posting.

The TOPIX posters when I looked seemed to use their real names or borrow the names of real posters and make inane remarks. Anyone familiar with your posts on TOTV should be able to tell the real from the fake personas.

It does really bug me that they picked on GG as she is such a sweet person online and a great contributor to TOTV.

[Carl in Tampa]

I don't know if I'd characterize it as sleazy and not convinced it is truly dangerous but it is one of the ugliest sites I've ever had the misfortune to visit and most definitely is extremely hurtful. I found it sad that these people had nothing better to do than try to hurt each other and others. What a pathetic group of little people.

The title of the broadcast segment was "Dangerous and Sleazy" websites. Topix was an example of sleazy, not dangerous.

Named as very dangerous was "meeting people on Craigslist." Meeting strangers online is hazardous at best, and apparently there is already an extensive history of people being murdered after meeting with people who they first contacted on Craigslist.

Interestingly, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office (Tampa) has established a "safe zone" on the parking lots of each of their district offices where people who have agreed upon the sale and purchase of items may meet (under the observation of a deputy) to complete their transactions.

:police:

[Patty55]

I wanna be in the "click"! I wanna be in it!!!:MOJE_whot::MOJE_whot:

You'll have to petition the TOPIX group of busybodies, they seem to be in charge of all conspiracies.

[Taltarzac725]

You'll have to petition the TOPIX group of busybodies, they seem to be in charge of all conspiracies.

Conspiracies do exist especially if you have very powerful people trying to cover stuff up. Just look at the Veterans' Administration mess and the cover-up there? The truth usually eventually comes out.

What I saw on TOPIX was a great deal of disagreement. They seemed really angry that we could stand up for GracieGirl as she got the worst of it in personal attacks and people pretending to be her. They could not agree on much of anything else.

[Bucco]

Hey Bucco, I think you are part of my clique, must be true, I read it on TOPIX. Sorry you missed all our past meetings, the next meeting will be held at the new TADS-the one near the Coach store, not the one near the waterpark. Hope to see you there.:icon_hungry:


Just send me a copy of the minutes please ! :)

Funny, well maybe not funny, but......I do not think in the 7 years I have been on TOTV that I have ever responded to a post of yours......I know we have never exchanged pm's on anything....yet on TOPIX, we are part of the conspiracy. Amazing the imagination of some folks !!!

Just wish these folks would be id'ed publicly so everyone on TOTV knew who these folks actually were, but send me the minutes of the meetings and I will do my very best to contribute to the conspiracy as best I can and frankly if the folks were doing what they are accused of, they are busy and I cannot offer that much time.

[Steve9930]

On Tuesday, May 20, Bill O'Reilly had two guests on his "Back of The Book" segment who were asked to name the most dangerous and sleazy websites on the Internet.

I found it of interest that one of the guests named a site that came to my attention for the first time a few months ago through mention of it on TOTV. It was a site where quasi-anonymous people were impersonating registered TOTV personalities and making very derogatory posts about them. I say quali-anonymous rather than anonymous because there is at least one TOTV regular poster who has identified the screen name he uses on the other site.

The O'Reilly guest who named that site characterized it this way, "Alex Little went with a site called Topix. "It describes itself as an online forum for local communities," he said, "but it has become the virtual bathroom wall where folks write whatever they want about their neighbors and their enemies. It's a hotbed of slander and defamation."

Having visited it solely to understand how some TOTV personalities were being hurt by the postings, I agree with Mr. Little. It is a site that I have chosen to ignore.

:censored:

I had never heard of the site so after reading your post I decided to take a look. Curiosity and the cat you know what I mean. I'll have to agree that it is not worth the trouble to read through. You can get a clue about a site right from the get go. If they start to push you things and try to setup pops out of the gate I usually stay a way from that sort of site.

[onslowe]

I too decided to take a first (and last) look after reading Carl's post. I respect his posts.
Well, without "speechifyin" it is not an attractive place and not worth my time. BTW, Patty's comments above are very funny!

[Taltarzac725]

I too decided to take a first (and last) look after reading Carl's post. I respect his posts.
Well, without "speechifyin" it is not an attractive place and not worth my time. BTW, Patty's comments above are very funny!

I broke down and looked at it so I could see what they were saying about Taltarzac725.

Not sure which ex TOTVers are on there but I did recognize the writing styles of some of those who are on both. I will remain on just TOTV. I know quite a few TOTVers now from meeting them in person. I have been on here almost seven years, after all. I am looking forward to meeting GracieGirl at some point. She seems like a great person online and is probably the same kind of person in real life.

[graciegirl]

After having read Topix, I know now what causes young people to be so badly hurt, even to the point of suicide from Cyber bullying. Only sick, sad people say the things often found there. People who don't know how to compromise, overlook and get along with others, and people who seek negative attention and enjoy making people angry and hurting them would post the ugly anonymous taunts and cruel criticism. One person there can appear to be a dozen different people, because you can change your screen name between posts. It is only two or three folks who continually change their name and bait, irritate and stir the pot.


Debate, even heated debate is a part of a good forum, and disagreements can be bitter, but the ugly hatred found on that forum is beyond awful.

[Chi-Town]

Most White Sox fans would never watch a Cubs game. Most Cubs fans would never watch a White Sox game. They just don't like the other team. I'm sure it's true with the Yankees and Red Sox. The point is why do TOTVers who abhor Topix go there at all?

[Taltarzac725]

After having read Topix, I know now what causes young people to be so badly hurt, even to the point of suicide from Cyber bullying. Only sick, sad people say the things often found there. People who don't know how to compromise, overlook and get along with others, and people who seek negative attention and enjoy making people angry and hurting them would post the ugly anonymous taunts and cruel criticism. One person there can appear to be a dozen different people, because you can change your screen name between posts. It is only two or three folks who continually change their name and bait, irritate and stir the pot.


Debate, even heated debate is a part of a good forum, and disagreements can be bitter, but the ugly hatred found on that forum is beyond awful.

So glad that THEY are not getting to you. Or HIM? Or HER? I had a very nasty cybersmearer for FIVE years (mid 2001-2006) who did contribute to the suicide of a beautiful mentally ill woman whom I was trying to help via her boyfriend on Findlaw. This sociopath could not stop with the constant baiting of me-- because he confessed I could not find him some precedent in a legal argument he was making in his white collar case-- and stopped her boyfriend from looking at Findlaw for help. The woman drove her car into ongoing traffic near a military base near the KT-TN border. Her boyfriend did come back to look at Findlaw for the help I was trying to give him despite the libels this guy piled up against me post after post after post. Then it was more post traumatic event advice as his girlfriend had died. The cybersmearer did things like calling me the next Unibomber, claiming that I murdered people, saying I was a paranoid schizophrenic, threatening to reveal my loved ones real addresses and names, posting obscene suggestions, etc. Anything to get me to respond. No wonder the soldier boyfriend turned away from Findlaw. I got really upset with Findlaw as well. They did revamp their system around 2006. I found TOTV in July 2007.

[ugotme]

Well, I must admit, when I first started reading this my curiosity was aroused.
I was almost going to visit these sites. However, after continuing to read these posts have decided that, based on what all of you have stated, it isn't worth it!

I will continue to (mostly) read posts here and occasionally post my own thoughts/comments.

By the way - for those of you who have never met GG - she and her family are WONDERFUL people. Mrs. Ugotme and I were welcomed into her home and thoroughly enjoyed their company and hospitality!

[Indydealmaker]

IMO forums should require the verified use of a poster's real name. Anonymous posts have no credibility and are a breeding ground for slander, libel, bullying and a leading cause of high blood pressure.

[Taltarzac725]

IMO forums should require the verified use of a poster's real name. Anonymous posts have no credibility and are a breeding ground for slander, libel, bullying and a leading cause of high blood pressure.

I disagree about that. I went on Findlaw around mid-2001 to look for a lawyer for a case of medical malpractice and tell my story about my fight for access to practical information for survivors of crimes. The Findlaw Sysop (System Operator) even told me that this was the perfect place to do this. I started posting verbatim copies of letters I had received. Or, nearly verbatim.

This went OK for just a very small time and then lawyer after lawyer kept on attacking me with very personal challenges. Not sure why this was mainly because I was arguing that people should do their own research about the law especially if they are victims/survivors of crimes. Not that they should cease taking legal advice just that it is an important check-and-balance to use the Internet. Ironically, I saw Findlaw as one of the best ways of doing this.

I was also talking about all the problems I had with pushing for better access to practical information when I was still inside the law librarianship profession. I tried to document everything and sent a bunch of these documents to the ObamaCare people a few months back as I still believe when it comes down to it the effects of violence and handling them is as much as a legal problem as one of public health.

Often though because of all the personal attacks I got, I had to switch to anonymous postings on Findlaw which opened me up, however, to people pretending to be me like the cybersmearer I mentioned above who used anonymous names and fake e-mail addresses as well.

If the balance of power between parties is severely unbalanced then I do think we need anonymous posting available.

This fight I had is also what I was scared about talked about with the Sumter County Court Administrator when I had Jury Duty on May 19, 2014 as it would have taken me a very long time to discuss everything I have been through over the past 38 years or so since I first became interested in this issue following the murder and murder investigation of Michelle Mitchell in Reno, Nevada on February 24, 1976 (my birthday).

[JimmyJohn]

IMO forums should require the verified use of a poster's real name. Anonymous posts have no credibility and are a breeding ground for slander, libel, bullying and a leading cause of high blood pressure.

That sounds like the right solution. Even if we don't know ourselves, the administrators should have the information should the police have to get involved in extreme situations. I like to feel most verbal insults are deserved and a mediator is needed to sort through both parties side of the story. Never judge before talking to both sides.
Have a blessed day everyone.

The Sub Lover

[Taltarzac725]

That sounds like the right solution. Even if we don't know ourselves, the administrators should have the information should the police have to get involved in extreme situations. I like to feel most verbal insults are deserved and a mediator is needed to sort through both parties side of the story. Never judge before talking to both sides.
Have a blessed day everyone.

The Sub Lover

I do think that real e-mail addresses should be required as this would give access to the police if things turned extremely ugly in real life. I am thinking more along the line of custody disputes, business feuds about territory and customers, hackers, cybersmearers of the worst sort who get off on making people miserable on the Internet, etc. The names may or may not need to be anonymous depending on the situation.

I contacted the police both in Pinellas County, FL (many times before knowing the bully's identity) as well as in Chesterfield County, VA when the cybersmearer I had bragged about playing me for a fool over several years and revealed his identity. They both said there was nothing they could do because of Free Speech. The US Representative for Palm Harbor I also wrote seemed sympathetic but I do not know if he did anything or not. There is a line that should not be crossed even with the First Amendment especially if the target of all the bullying has no idea why someone is throwing such hate at him or her. It makes you rather paranoid in real life if someone seems to spent hours on the Internet attacking you each day and you have no idea who or why this person is making these attacks.

I looked at the attacks on GracieGirl on Topix Belleview and Topix the Villages and they hardly seem justified and the person will not go over the facts just says stuff like Gracie knows. And in many situations unless you actually know the people involved very well, there is no way of telling who is being honest and who is not.

And, there are situations where a conflict of interest in involved like when say someone attacks a business on a Chamber of Commerce site and a friend or lover of this business owner being attacked is the Chamber of Commerce site moderator.

[Rags123]

Visited that site, and it is shocking that there are human beings walking among us who would talk about people like that, or frankly even have those thoughts.

Does not TOTV have a verified email for all posters ?

I realize that could be iffy at best, but should law enforcement ever get involved, they can determine exactly who opened those email accounts. Frankly, what is read there over there could very well become a police matter.

I get scared just thinking that these very same people post on here

[Carl in Tampa]

IMO forums should require the verified use of a poster's real name. Anonymous posts have no credibility and are a breeding ground for slander, libel, bullying and a leading cause of high blood pressure.

I agree, in part. I feel that the board operators should have the verified true names and contact information of every person authorized to post on the board, but I would permit screen names.

Otherwise, some individual, angered by a perhaps unintentional slight, might seek out and physically confront another poster.

The real control of misuse of message boards is the responsibility of the Moderators. Lax moderation leads to abuse. Active moderation, with quick response to complaints will result in civil discourse.

[Indydealmaker]

I disagree about that. I went on Findlaw around mid-2001 to look for a lawyer for a case of medical malpractice and tell my story about my fight for access to practical information for survivors of crimes. The Findlaw Sysop (System Operator) even told me that this was the perfect place to do this. I started posting verbatim copies of letters I had received. Or, nearly verbatim.

This went OK for just a very small time and then lawyer after lawyer kept on attacking me with very personal challenges. Not sure why this was mainly because I was arguing that people should do their own research about the law especially if they are victims/survivors of crimes. Not that they should cease taking legal advice just that it is an important check-and-balance to use the Internet. Ironically, I saw Findlaw as one of the best ways of doing this.

I was also talking about all the problems I had with pushing for better access to practical information when I was still inside the law librarianship profession. I tried to document everything and sent a bunch of these documents to the ObamaCare people a few months back as I still believe when it comes down to it the effects of violence and handling them is as much as a legal problem as one of public health.

Often though because of all the personal attacks I got, I had to switch to anonymous postings on Findlaw which opened me up, however, to people pretending to be me like the cybersmearer I mentioned above who used anonymous names and fake e-mail addresses as well.

If the balance of power between parties is severely unbalanced then I do think we need anonymous posting available.

This fight I had is also what I was scared about talked about with the Sumter County Court Administrator when I had Jury Duty on May 19, 2014 as it would have taken me a very long time to discuss everything I have been through over the past 38 years or so since I first became interested in this issue following the murder and murder investigation of Michelle Mitchell in Reno, Nevada on February 24, 1976 (my birthday).

It all still comes down to credibility. You cannot gain credibility just by disseminating facts. Those facts will do no good if they don't get a second look. Either your own reputation is your credibility badge or you borrow credibility by quietly finding an advocate and gaining his/her respect before you go public.

It is the same thing in the business world. You can beat your head against a brick wall trying to introduce your product by being David in a Goliath world or you can find a partner who is already where you want to be. Be willing to share the spoils of war and you can always find help.

[Taltarzac725]

It all still comes down to credibility. You cannot gain credibility just by disseminating facts. Those facts will do no good if they don't get a second look. Either your own reputation is your credibility badge or you borrow credibility by quietly finding an advocate and gaining his/her respect before you go public.

It is the same thing in the business world. You can beat your head against a brick wall trying to introduce your product by being David in a Goliath world or you can find a partner who is already where you want to be. Be willing to share the spoils of war and you can always find help.

Good post. I bought a copy of the 1991 National Organization for Victim Assistance Directory of Victim Assistance Programs and Services back then and probably wrote 4000 of the 8000 providers listed there asking them what they would like to see in libraries of all sorts for survivors of crimes. This took me ten years or so but I did share all this information with many. Especially after I got on the Internet around 1999.

I did try to enlist an army for battling the Godzilla like problem I had. As far as 2014, I am hoping that the e-mails I sent to the Sumter County Court Administrator will make a bridge.

I am on Facebook too trying to build allies.

[CFrance]

[QUOTE=Chi-Town;882731]Most White Sox fans would never watch a Cubs game. Most Cubs fans would never watch a White Sox game. They just don't like the other team. I'm sure it's true with the Yankees and Red Sox. The point is why do TOTVers who abhor Topix go there at all?[/QUOTE
Knowledge and information are power.

[Lovey2]

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....

[JimmyJohn]

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....
Best post I have read to date. I promise never to fire in the dark. It is posts like this that can change people into better, kinder members of society. I am on the the first part of a journey to do just that. For those that I have harmed, please forgive me. Lord, give me the strength to follow through on my commitment.:pray:

[2BNTV]

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....


Please don't think the following is talking to you directly, but a general point of view. :smiley:

I agree that we all need to kinder, and gentler, with new posters. Therefore I personally have never answered their request, with a flip answer. I always think before hitting the "submit" button, How would I feel if someone said this to me.

On the other hand, lumping all posters into one group. is too broad a statement.

I don't go to "Topix" because it is so negative. They are many "cowards of the keyboards" who post anonyomously, (spelling is wrong.... my bad). They say things, they wouldn't have the nerve to say to someone's face, as they wouldn't want to incur the wrath of whom, the are saying it to.

This site is mild compared to other sites. IMHO

However, it doesn't give someone to right to disrespect others. Some of us know what we are talking about, as there have been a couple of members who have re-entered with a new screen name, because they were chastized by the admin. Nuff said....

I think we all need to agree to disagree respectfully.

[graciegirl]

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....


When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

[JimmyJohn]

When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

It may be because I have recently quit drinking, but I see this also as a clear to the point post. Thanks Gracie for a great post. Firm, to the point without any negativity.

[2BNTV]

When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

Great Post!!

:bigbow: :bigbow:: bigbow:

It's good to be King.... er.... Queen. :smiley:

[Lovey2]

2B...I agree to disagree. :) Just because we express differing opinions there is no need to disparage the opinion of another post... I was not lumping anyone, aside from listing names we can only speak "broadly" here. And I do believe quoting someone's post is "aiming it at them", a direct response, so to speak..not always bad, but very pointed. Nonetheless,you are definitely one of the kinder posters. I am NOT a follower, NOT afraid to say in person what my fingers type here, and NOT above apologizing if I said anything rude or incorrect. To assume I am anything but without ANY proof whatsoever was WRONG. And to expect me to PASS any "motive" questions put to me, was also WRONG. I am sorry some of you had to deal with that type of mularky. My post was simply a gentle reminder that the new posters aren't aware of this past history, and if we continue to be suspicious, condescending and off putting, for whatever our reasons are, we will lose the value of new posters, the opportunity to share our knowledge about TV, and just MAYBE learn something from THEM.

[Lovey2]

Best post I have read to date. I promise never to fire in the dark. It is posts like this that can change people into better, kinder members of society. I am on the the first part of a journey to do just that. For those that I have harmed, please forgive me. Lord, give me the strength to follow through on my commitment.:pray:

Hoping your journey brings you peace and you find the strength to continue it. Also,:pray: for you.

[JimmyJohn]

2B...I agree to disagree. :) and I am only lumping people into one category as much as you are...see? Just because we express differing opinions there is no need to disparage the opinion of another post. And I do believe quoting someone's post is "aiming it at them", a direct response, so to speak. Nonetheless,you are definitely one of the kinder posters. I am NOT a follower, NOT afraid to say in person what my fingers type here, and NOT above apologizing if I said anything rude or incorrect. To assume I am anything but without ANY proof whatsoever was WRONG. I am sorry some of you had to deal with that type of mularky. My post was simply a gentle reminder that the new posters aren't aware of this past history, and if we continue to be suspicious, condescending and off putting, for whatever our reasons are, we will lose the value of new posters, the opportunity to share our knowledge about TV, and just MAYBE learn something from THEM.

This is the type of post that will allow TOTV to evolve into a more honest and healthy place to say hi to friends and acquire information. I see bigger and better things in our future.

:pray:

[graciegirl]

This is the type of post that will allow TOTV to evolve into a more honest and healthy place to say hi to friends and acquire information. I see bigger and better things in our future.

:pray:


but you don't know our past, or do you, I mean since you're new? But it is still nice to have hope for the future. I do too. I want to keep this site free from cruelty like posted on Topix with people changing their names all of the time. But with the same agenda.


There is a person on Topix who brags about being kicked off this forum six times and is now appearing under a new name. People like that use sites like this; http://www.ask.com/question/what-are-websites-to-get-around-blocked-sites

[JimmyJohn]

but you don't know our past, or do you? But it is still nice to have hope for the future. I do too. I want to keep this site free from cruelty like posted on Topix with people changing their names all of the time. But with the same agenda.

So do I. Key words being the same agenda. Anyone can change, and if they ask, it is Christian to forgive and move on.

[graciegirl]

but you don't know our past, or do you, I mean since you're new? But it is still nice to have hope for the future. I do too. I want to keep this site free from cruelty like posted on Topix with people changing their names all of the time. But with the same agenda.


There is a person on Topix who brags about being kicked off this forum six times and is now appearing under a new name. People like that use sites like this; What Are Websites to Get around Blocked Sites - Ask.com (http://www.ask.com/question/what-are-websites-to-get-around-blocked-sites)

bump