Age Differences

[ValerieJo]

A little embarrassed but OK, I'm going to be brave and ask my questions in hopes that someone can offer some advice/ideas I've not thought of.

Some 20+ years ago when I married my husband, the thought of our age differences at retirement was never even a thought. Well here it is all these many years later and I'm starting to plan for retirement.

Here's the kicker -
I'm 59 and my husband is 51. Yes, I'm 8 years older than him. My plan is to retire in 3 years. The problem is there is no way my husband can retire in 3 years as we just don't have enough saved up yet, plus we need the health insurance his job provides. We are hoping he'll be able to retire at 59/60 or at least work part time to pay for medical insurance. (I'll be 67 by then and on Medicare).

Has anyone moved to The Villages without their spouse for a few years while they stayed behind to work? Are we even going to be able to have some quality retirement time together (both be retired at the same time and hopefully healthy)?

I'd love to hear from some Villagers with a bit of an age differences between spouses and how you were able to do it?

Any advice for the wife being considerably older?

Thanks for any and all honest responses.

[Barefoot]

Has anyone moved to The Villages without their spouse for a few years while they stayed behind to work? Are we even going to be able to have some quality retirement time together (both be retired at the same time and hopefully healthy)? I'd love to hear from some Villagers with a bit of an age differences between spouses and how you were able to do it?

I retired in 2007, and we bought a house in The Villages.
Since then, I've spent every winter (six months) in Florida.
I had a great time hanging with my girl friends, many of whom I met through TOTV.
Fireboy didn't retire until 2012, so for years he visited when he could.
I sent you a PM.

[George Bieniaszek]

Are you kidding????? So, you are 59 and want to retire in three years. You stated that you "don't have enough saved up yet". If so, then why wouldn't you want to work three additional years and retire at 65, or 67. You seem to indicate that you are in good health and can still work. You will be receiving a larger Social Security check to add to the household income.

You want to live in The Villages and enjoy the lifestyle, I presume purchase a home here, while your husband is back home working his butt off making money and keeping the health insurance that his job provides?? You just increased your monthly expenses by purchasing a second home and all the money that goes into upkeep of two residences.

IMHO you should re-think this idea. Sounds very selfish to me.

[jnieman]

Hubby is 5 years older. We moved here when I was 54 and he was 59. He has his retirement but we both got jobs and worked until he received his social security. We were lucky that he was able to get health care for both of us. I'm still not old enough to receive social security yet and the budget is tight, but we are where we want to be and are very happy.

[ValerieJo]

Are you kidding????? So, you are 59 and want to retire in three years. You stated that you "don't have enough saved up yet". If so, then why wouldn't you want to work three additional years and retire at 65, or 67. You seem to indicate that you are in good health and can still work. You will be receiving a larger Social Security check to add to the household income.

You want to live in The Villages and enjoy the lifestyle, I presume purchase a home here, while your husband is back home working his butt off making money and keeping the health insurance that his job provides?? You just increased your monthly expenses by purchasing a second home and all the money that goes into upkeep of two residences.

IMHO you should re-think this idea. Sounds very selfish to me.

So much for being friendly
I believe this was in your signature line.

'Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them!'

[RickdeMasi]

People do behave different while hiding behind a keyboard mask.

[graciegirl]

So much for being friendly
I believe this was in your signature line.

'Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them!'


He is giving you VERY good advice.

[Bogie Shooter]

Sometimes the truth is hard to accept.

[Barefoot]

Are you kidding????? You want to live in The Villages and enjoy the lifestyle, I presume purchase a home here, while your husband is back home working his butt off making money and keeping the health insurance that his job provides?? You just increased your monthly expenses by purchasing a second home and all the money that goes into upkeep of two residences. IMHO you should re-think this idea. Sounds very selfish to me.

I think your reply to Valerie may be a tad judgmental and grumpy.
If Valerie is eight years older than her husband, why shouldn't she retire eight years sooner?
We really don't know the details of their financial or health situations, nor should we.
I don't think she is being selfish, not a bit!

George, remember when you posted this?
Love the term "Grump-Buckets". These people are similar to or may even be the same people my wife and I refer to as being "EXLAX Deficient"

[PammyJ]

Are you kidding????? So, you are 59 and want to retire in three years. You stated that you "don't have enough saved up yet". If so, then why wouldn't you want to work three additional years and retire at 65, or 67. You seem to indicate that you are in good health and can still work. You will be receiving a larger Social Security check to add to the household income.

You want to live in The Villages and enjoy the lifestyle, I presume purchase a home here, while your husband is back home working his butt off making money and keeping the health insurance that his job provides?? You just increased your monthly expenses by purchasing a second home and all the money that goes into upkeep of two residences.

IMHO you should re-think this idea. Sounds very selfish to me.

I too had this initial reaction when my husband , 10 years older than Me, said he was looking at retirement. Then signs started to happen. People we knew were suddenly dying right before retirement or shortly after. For me, this put things into perspective for me. We bought a house in TV, have two homes, and he will retire in the near future, while I work my butt off. He deserves it! I, would not selfishly hold him back from living the golden years that he wants due to my age. If he waits for me, who knows what health issues may come!
So I say to the OP, do what is right for YOU! No regrets!

[SantaClaus]

My wife is several years older than me and she was just forced into retirement. I have been out of work for a while now and been focused on completing our full-gut remodel. When she first got laid off we kind of panicked, figuring I'd have to go back to work full time just to make ends meet, and I'd never get the house done, and we'd be stuck here the rest of our lives. But then we started really playing with the numbers and realized that we need a lot less to retire than we thought. We can get by on our savings and my Santa income for the next few years while I finish the house. Once we get to TV she will be eligible for SS and I may very well take on a PT job or some elf-employment opportunities. Then a few years later my SS will kick in. I think that our age difference, and the fact that these streams are staggered is actually helpful for us.

That said, our numbers seem to add up and we are fairly comfortable with the lifestyle changes to come. But even then I don't think we would consider maintaining two residences for more than a couple of months. Especially if one (or both) were still mortgaged. I certainly understand the desire to start the next phase as early as possible, you just want to be sure the plan for the next phase is a 20 year plan and not a no-holds-barred Vegas weekend. My 2¢.

[rjm1cc]

I think too much info is missing. You both cannot afford to retire but you can buy a house in the Villages and both retire at an early age, just not at the same tie. I guess the answer is if you can afford two homes and also save the additional retirement money you will need then you can do it. Might want to hire a fee only planner to check your financial calculations.

[NotGolfer]

I'd get with a respected financial advisor and crunch your numbers. If he is reputable he will give you the truth.

As for the person giving the long advice that 'some' are thinking was judgmental.....I think his advice was given with good will and really is something to think about. JMHO!!

[Bonnevie]

Calling someone selfish is not being kind or helpful. It was very judgemental. Ideally I should have worked a little longer than I did but I was too burned out and it was affecting my health.

[Villageswimmer]

A little embarrassed but OK, I'm going to be brave and ask my questions in hopes that someone can offer some advice/ideas I've not thought of.

Some 20+ years ago when I married my husband, the thought of our age differences at retirement was never even a thought. Well here it is all these many years later and I'm starting to plan for retirement.

Here's the kicker -
I'm 59 and my husband is 51. Yes, I'm 8 years older than him. My plan is to retire in 3 years. The problem is there is no way my husband can retire in 3 years as we just don't have enough saved up yet, plus we need the health insurance his job provides. We are hoping he'll be able to retire at 59/60 or at least work part time to pay for medical insurance. (I'll be 67 by then and on Medicare).

Has anyone moved to The Villages without their spouse for a few years while they stayed behind to work? Are we even going to be able to have some quality retirement time together (both be retired at the same time and hopefully healthy)?

I'd love to hear from some Villagers with a bit of an age differences between spouses and how you were able to do it?

Any advice for the wife being considerably older?

Thanks for any and all honest responses.


I think you are entitled to your plan and see no need for embarrassment or judgment.

A lot can happen in 3 years. Why not continue to reevaluate your plan, crunch numbers, and carefully consider if the plan is still viable when you're on the cusp of reaching 62. That is still a young age at which to retire, but if you're able to do it, God bless you. Only you know your financial, relationship, and health circumstances that play into this decision.

[rjm1cc]

Can your husband work from TV?
Maybe go to the office once a month for a couple days? His expense.
The company I worked for would make work adjustments like this if the job could be done. Might ask his boss if something can be worked out.
There are corporation registration and other problems that may have to be considered if he is the first FL employee.

[graciegirl]

I think you are entitled to your plan and see no need for embarrassment or judgment.

A lot can happen in 3 years. Why not continue to reevaluate your plan, crunch numbers, and carefully consider if the plan is still viable when you're on the cusp of reaching 62. That is still a young age at which to retire, but if you're able to do it, God bless you. Only you know your financial, relationship, and health circumstances that play into this decision.


But nanei....she ASKED for our opinions and our judgement.


I say generally, it is better to be over prepared financially than to live on a wing and a prayer.

[Bonnevie]

well....she asked for opinions, not judgement....and she was asking for opinions from others who had similar experiences of one spouse retiring before another.....thankfully, it appears there are some who were able to address her concerns because they share her demographics

[CFrance]

He is giving you VERY good advice.
Good advice, maybe, but the manner in which it was given was not very good. There's a much nicer way to put that advice.

To the OP, it does seem like a good idea for you to work three years longer so things won't be so tight.