Why Men Don't Need Their Own Forum

[Reliancepeech]

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that? There are some apples left. Would you like some chocolate? Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine!

[Taltarzac]

What if she does not drink? :joke:

[Donna]

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/gnugghender.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>>>>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>>>Peechie>>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/scaredsmiley.gif (http://www.millan.net)

[Rokinronda]

Then make her a martini!!

[Donna]

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that? There are some apples left. Would you like some chocolate? Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine!




Lets Get him girls...
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/brodkavelarg.gif (http://www.millan.net)>>>>>>>>>Peechie>>http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/runforhills.gif (http://www.millan.net)

[bsliny]

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that? There are some apples left. Would you like some chocolate? Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine!


As My Good Fiend John Always Said WOMEN YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM AND YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM :beer3: :beer2: :hot: He Never said it to his wife

[JohnnyM]

Bsliny, The only expression I ever use for any situation pertaining to Barbara is:

"yeah, you're right, I'm sorry".

JohnnyM

[bsliny]

Bsliny, The only expression I ever use for any situation pertaining to Barbara is:

"yeah, you're right, I'm sorry".

JohnnyM JUST keep saying yes dear it drives them crazy

[chelsea24]

Right backatcha Peechie!

And to all the men --

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
I can't cut the grass today, the game is on. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Can you call that guy about that thing and pick up my cleaning, I'M much too busy. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Hon, if you're getting up, can you bring me some leftovers. My shoulder aches. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Don't use so much starch in my shirts. I get chaffed. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
I can't change these diapers, it triggers my gag reflex. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
That's the grocery bill? I thought ground meat was 98 cents a pound! Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/furious.gif (http://www.millan.net)

Oh boys, would you like a little cheese with that Whine???

All in good fun! You know we love you Peechie! :-*

[Donna]

Right backatcha Peechie!

And to all the men --

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
I can't cut the grass today, the game is on. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Can you call that guy about that thing and pick up my cleaning, I'M much too busy. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Hon, if you're getting up, can you bring me some leftovers. My shoulder aches. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
Don't use so much starch in my shirts. I get chaffed. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
I can't change these diapers, it triggers my gag reflex. Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/crysmiley1.gif (http://www.millan.net)
That's the grocery bill? I thought ground meat was 98 cents a pound! Here have some WHINE!
http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/furious.gif (http://www.millan.net)

Oh boys, would you like a little cheese with that Whine???

All in good fun! You know we love you Peechie! :-*







Chel..I couldn't put it better myself...http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/coffeescreen.gif (http://www.millan.net)

[Reliancepeech]

As the concept pertains to Valentine's Day gifts....

Ultra Safe - A bottle of Cote Du Rone
Very Safe - Emerald earrings
Safe - A Box of Chocolates
Dangerous - Golf Shoes

The golf shoes will help her avoid slipping when washing your car in the winter when it's icy.

;D

[JohnnyM]

English you hit the nail http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/johnnyme2008/ATT9.gif right on it's head. I'm a happy guy!

[nONIE]

Peechie,

you forgot Very Dangerous!...A vacuume cleaner >:(

[jjdees]

Who is it that said "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"?

[JohnnyM]

I think it was the Captain of the Love Boat, Mr. jjdees!

[JohnN]

yes dear

[Just Susan]

Here is another reason we women should not be messed with....
CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company, pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

[Boomer]

I have been watching this Point/Counterpoint thread develop and I have been trying to link in something that seems appropriate to the cause.

But I am idiotically, technologically awful so I am asking for help.

If you are interested, please check out "Man Cold" either through Google or You Tube. It is one of those You Tube videos. When I try to link it, one of the feeds keeps stopping. There is other stuff on the You Tube page that I don't want. But maybe that just comes with the You Tube territory. I am just trying to capture the video.

I have to laugh every time I see this thing.

So if anybody else thinks it is funny and is willing to do the link, that would be great.

Thank you.

btw I can't quite understand the last thing the paramedic says to the wife. And I also can't understand the last thing the husband says about how he wants his soup.

I apologize for being so inept, but I really think some of you out there might like to see Man Cold.

[bsliny]

Here is another reason we women should not be messed with....
CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company, pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

YES DEAR :hot:

[bsliny]

Peechie,

you forgot Very Dangerous!...A vacuume cleaner >:( With instructions of course :hot:

[islandgal]

Boomer BeBack

Here is "Man Cold" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE&NR=1

I love it!!!!!!

[jjdees]

Susan & Tom,

Thanks for reprinting the shrimp story. I had seen it a while back and thought it was a scream. I've looked for it since so I could pass it on. All's well that ends well.

[JohnN]

this thread is hilarious,
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, I loved Man Cold

[chelsea24]

1rnfl OMG Man Cold is EXACTLY what I'm talking about! I love it! :bigthumbsup:

[Barefoot]

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that? There are some apples left. Would you like some chocolate? Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine!

Thanks Peech. :clap2:

For all you women who have husbands who say: "I never know what to do to make you happy" ..... I suggest that you copy this and give it to your husband. Mine now has the script and I hope he sticks to it!! ;D

[Just Susan]

You are welcome jjdees. I thought it was hysterical too.
And for all of you who commented on a man needing to use the words "yes dear" or words to that effect...my husband included that advice in his wedding reception speech as the father of the bride. Wise man.