Big brothers big sisters

[Happinow]

Has anyone ever been a big brother of a big sister? If so, could you tell me how you found the experience to be?

[Medtrans]

My husband is a big brother and has been so for 40 years. He rec'd Tom, his little brother, when he was 10. He is now 50. It has been a wonderful experience for my husband and also for me. He (we) knew right away that this would be something special. At first it was just my husband and Tom but then the 3 of us. He took some vacations with us, and camping trips. Tom's mother was a wonderful woman and realized Tom needed a male figure in his life. Tom went on to get his master's degree, a great executive job, and a wife and family. Times have changed though in this crazy world so I think the organization of Big Brothers has different parameters. It's hard to know how to word this but they are more protective and of course they should be. My husband was an awesome big brother and because of it we now have 3 little girls in our lives that we treat like grandchildren. They live in Philly now but they are big-time Disney people so I know we will see them a lot next year when we move after we finally retire.

I don't know if any of what I said helped but I just wanted you to know it can be a rewarding experience. I also know that the little brother/sister do not always match. Tom has a sister who had a big sister and he has a brother who had a big brother. The big sister worked out good for his sister but his brother's didn't. It takes time and effort and not everyone realizes that going in and if a person can't commit to that it makes it difficult for the kid to understand why.

Don't know if this is something you are thinking about for yourself or not, but if so good luck. If you have any questions you can PM me.

[Justjac]

Has anyone ever been a big brother of a big sister? If so, could you tell me how you found the experience to be?
I served as a board member for Big Brother and Big Sisters and my son was a "Little" matched to a Big Brother years ago.

It is a commitment that should not be taken lightly. If a parent has turned to this organization, they are hoping an older adult will step in and fill a void in a child's life.

Being a Big Brother or Big Sister is simple but you must realize that if the child enjoys your company, he will be waiting for you to contact him on a regular basis. If you fail to contact him ...if you fail to make regular contact, you have added disappointment in the life of a child who has already experienced much disappointment.

My son's first match was not a good one. In our small community, he was matched with a single lawyer who was quick to add Big Brother/Big Sister to his list of community services. The local newspaper did a front page story on the match and the lawyer received a lot of free publicity.

Unfortunately, during a three-month span, the Big Brother only contacted my son one time and that was to help with lawn work at his cottage. Needless to say, the match was dissolved.

On the other hand, I witnessed several matches where children really benefited with matches such as described by Medtrans in her post. Sadly, there always seems to be a long list of Little Brothers waiting for a match. There also seems to be a short list of men volunteering to be Big Brothers.

Again, it is a commitment not to be taken lightly.

[Trayderjoe]

My husband is a big brother and has been so for 40 years. He rec'd Tom, his little brother, when he was 10. He is now 50. It has been a wonderful experience for my husband and also for me. He (we) knew right away that this would be something special. At first it was just my husband and Tom but then the 3 of us. He took some vacations with us, and camping trips. Tom's mother was a wonderful woman and realized Tom needed a male figure in his life. Tom went on to get his master's degree, a great executive job, and a wife and family. Times have changed though in this crazy world so I think the organization of Big Brothers has different parameters. It's hard to know how to word this but they are more protective and of course they should be. My husband was an awesome big brother and because of it we now have 3 little girls in our lives that we treat like grandchildren. They live in Philly now but they are big-time Disney people so I know we will see them a lot next year when we move after we finally retire.

I don't know if any of what I said helped but I just wanted you to know it can be a rewarding experience. I also know that the little brother/sister do not always match. Tom has a sister who had a big sister and he has a brother who had a big brother. The big sister worked out good for his sister but his brother's didn't. It takes time and effort and not everyone realizes that going in and if a person can't commit to that it makes it difficult for the kid to understand why.

Don't know if this is something you are thinking about for yourself or not, but if so good luck. If you have any questions you can PM me.

I too was a Big Brother for a couple of years (my match and his family moved out of state). I had fun partnering with Pete who was 12 years old at the time. His younger brother was also matched with another volunteer with our group. Pete and I did many things together, including chores such as washing the car, or helping him with homework. Yes, there was "play time" as the BB/BS organization ran sponsored events and of course I took him to play ball or to the movies, etc.. In fact, Pete helped me pick out the engagement ring for the woman with whom I have been married for 28 years. I found it to be very rewarding helping him, but not enabling him. I believe I taught him much, but he also taught me. The commitment you make in spending time with your "little" really can, and I know this sounds cliche, make a real difference in their life.

[Rags123]

What great comprehensive and fantastic posts.

Thanks HAPPINOW for asking the question !!!

[Average Guy]

I was a Big Brother for a couple of years when I was in my early 30s. He was from an economically disadvantaged family. It was not unusual for me to see teenage boys with guns in the parking lot of the apartment complex where he lived when I would pick him up.

There was a policy that we were not supposed to spend any money for such things as tickets to sporting events or movies or for meals. It was difficult when we would do something and he would ask to stop at a fast food restaurant to eat even though he had no money to pay for food. I ended up paying for his meal even though we both knew that it was against Big Brother/Big Sister policy at that time.

I eventually left the program when he stole money from me at my home. When I confronted him about it, he denied it. I am absolutely certain that he stole the money.

I sometimes wonder whatever happened to him. His name is too common for me to learn about him by Googling his name.

[Barefoot]

I was accepted as a Big Sister in 1980.
I was matched with a little girl 8 years old.
Her mother died when she was very young.
The commitment was to spend one Saturday afternoon together for a year.

My Little Sister just turned 42!
We still see each other as often as we can.
She has enriched my life with so much love.
I truly can't imagine a world without her in it.

If you are thinking of becoming a Big Sister or a Big Brother, do it!
It's a blessing to be able to be a positive influence in a youngster's life.

[CFrance]

Hopefully OP will come on and thank everyone for taking the time to post their experiences.

Great posts. Thank you!