Missing my girl friends

[MartyRR]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.

[graciegirl]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.

I truly understand. I miss that too. And someone that has known you for so long you don't have to explain yourself to them and you don't have to be careful what you say.

You can yoohoo at my door anytime.

[CFrance]

I'm sorry you're having a slow start. Where do you live?

Our street is pretty quiet too. I connected right away with my next-door neighbor, but she is a snow bird, so only have her around for half the year. Everyone else is very quiet--and it's a new neighborhood!

I think it takes luck and a long time to develop the pop-in-the-door kind of friendships. Keep at it! Good luck to you. I miss my friends in MI too, but most of them have retired and moved.

[Blessed2BNTV]

Keep trying! We met a nice couple in yoga. We've hosted numerous dinner parties. Play golf with a couple who are in their 80's - we are in our 50's.

Have you've gone to the squares and just ask folks how they found TV. Folks love talking bout how they moved here.

Oh did I say.....keep trying and joining in things that you are interested in. Do you have a church home?

[chalpm]

MartyRR, I totally understand how you feel....I moved here less than a year ago and still miss my friends and the life I gave up. I have made some friends but like Gracie said it's hard to replace those you've known for 20+ years in such a short time. If you'd like to talk over a cup of tea send a private message and we can set something up.

[CFrance]

And I will be your friend as soon as the PTs fix my back!

[MartyRR]

You all are making me feel better already. I too have a snowbird neighbor that I really like, but she is here only a few weeks a year. But when she is...

[MartyRR]

Sounds like a plan.

[njbchbum]

MartyRR - Have you tried throwing a driveway party for the neighbors? We did it when we moved in and it got some of the real homebodies out of their houses. Wound up that we were not the only folks who did not know others on their own street! We provided beer, wine [in the box!], ice, red solo cups, chips and pretzels. When someone asked what they could bring we suggested a chair and anything else they might like! We also invited the 3 neighbors to the rear of our house just so they didn't hafta wonder what they were missing!

Just pick a date, make up a cute flyer introducing yourself and hand them out door to door - easy peasy! I found the toughest part was getting up the courage to do it! Once done - there was no turning back and it was a nice event.

[MartyRR]

What a great idea! Think I will do just that. Thanks!

[DougB]

I miss all my girlfriends back home, also.

[tippyclubb]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.

I understand all to well. I believe I live on the most unfriendly street in TV. Neighbors don't wave, don't say hello or even look in my direction. I find this very odd and it is a huge disappointment.

Yes, I miss my girlfriends terribly. I was fortunate to be able to meet some TOTV members that I liked very much. We get together for lunch/dinner and it helped having a friend to talk with.

A few people on this post offered to be a friend to you and get together. I highly suggest you do it and you will not regret it. They are great people and there is potential for friendships to be made.

If you like pm me and we can have lunch. I've always said a woman could never have too many diamonds or friends.

[Jebstuart]

I have made some wonderful friends here. They don't replace my 30 + year friends of course but there is still time. It is difficult if you live where there are lots of snowbirds or rentals especially.

I'll present a challenge to you. Every day get up, look at the rec news and approach the day with trying something new. Go to things early and strike up a conversation. Ask for help or ask what the activity is about. Try line dancing, yoga, water aerobics, shuffleboard lessons, mah jong lessons and so on. Call the person listed in the paper to find out how early you need to get there to ensure a spot or take a lesson. Try some crafty stuff like stamping, visit a quilt group, one stroke painting, again calling to see what the membership parameters are. Attend a meeting of one of the big social clubs to see what they are about. Like your state club, parrot heads, baby boomers, again calling to see the guest policy and if there is a waiting list. Also, look at all the groups who work hard to make a difference in other peoples lives. I am thinking honor flight, operation shoebox, habitat for humanity, guardian ad litum and again parrot heads to name a few.

I bet you will find a few activities that really hit home with you, and meet some nice people you want to pursue a friendship with along the way. One of the groups I am in I enjoy, but people have been together for 7+ years and have long established relationships so that has been hard. On the other hand I met some nice gals at Mah Jong lessons and we agreed to meet the following week and have played ever since. One of them and I have a lot in common and have met outside the activity and I feel a friendship forming. I have made several very good friends at yoga and water aerobics. The funniest thing is I keep seeing the same people at multiple activities.

There are so many people out there who want to keep an active mind and body, be creative and do good for others. These are the best years of our lives. We have beautiful wether, are surrounded by a beautiful community and wonderful people. Avoid the few grumps and have fun.

[striveforhealth]

You're not alone! Been here 7 months and still working on it - feels like a lot of work some days. As the wise Gracie said, it's hard to duplicate those long-term friendships - the ones who know the real you and still love you. ;-)

[graciegirl]

I think I need to get a bunch together. As soon as I clear up some minor health issues, I will do that.

[tomwed]

I miss mine too. Just about all my friends were workmates and I was at the same High School for 36 years. I knew the students and very often taught their parents, aunts and uncles. I didn't have any classes. I was in charge of technology. So all day long I would fix things, train students and faculty and cheer people up that were having a bad day. My corny, harmless sense of humor preceded me. Thinking about all this feels good and bad at the same time, if you know what I mean.

[Bonny]

I've lived in 2 houses since moving here 14 1/2 years ago. The first house one of the neighbors invited everyone over so we could meet them. We were the last house on the block.
When we moved to our second, we were the first people. Once we had several people move on the street, we had appetizers and invited 16 couples over. Everyone got to know everyone.
We have belonged to the Parrot Head Club for 10 years. Definitely a great place to meet people and have fun.

[VT2TV]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.



Actually, I guess you don't remember me. I reached out to you the last time you wrote saying you couldn't meet anyone to be friends with. I sent you a PM and offering to meet you and possibly be your friend. I never have enough friends. We even met at Paneras, and talked for quite a long time, laughed a lot, and I thought it went well. You were supposed to contact me after you got home from somewhere. I totally do not blame you if you didn't feel like you wanted to be my friend. Not EVERYONE is a match, and I hold no hard feelings. But I did try to show some Village hospitality. I wish you much luck in finding friends that are a match and can help you adjust to this new place.

[PattyCakes]

All of these ideas are wonderful, and I'm sure you'll meet a lot of great folks. Problem is if there is no common ground, no shared interests, you're back to square one. Here's my suggestion. What are your passions? What are your interests? Find activities that may attract folks who already share your interests. That offers you a better foundation for forming long term, connected relationships. Volunteer your time to those less fortunate. If you don't find a friend there, at least you'll be helping someone improve their life. Give to others and the Lord will bless you. Hope this helps.

[Wandatime]

Lots of us are a little bit shy when meeting new people and don't want to give the impression we are desperate (well, maybe not desperate, but definitely wanting) for a friend. Most of us know very few if any people when we first arrive so yeah, we want to make new friends. Through casual conversations I have reached out to several people for phone numbers and emails, and had lunch with one lady that I really liked. On the other hand, I struck up a conversation with another lady and very quickly knew that relationship wasn't going to happen. When I get back down to TV I'll attempt to get together with the others. I am not choosy about my acquaintances, but very choosy about close and best friends, so I am considering this kind of a vetting process.

I think Gracie's idea of a get together is absolutely fabulous, and hope I'm in TV when she has it. It really is a numbers game, isn't it?

[Spikearoni]

I am quite disappointed to read that it can be difficult to make friends in TV.
Does that mean that hype about TV being "the friendliest hometown" is just a marketing ploy?

We have been hoping that when we come down in the winter, we will make friends easily based on all the advertising. Is that just a pipe dream?

[uprivergirl]

Meeting new friends can be hard in a new neighborhood. We moved from Ca. and left not only our friends but our family too. We have meet a lot of new people by joining different things.

I miss my family and friends but I wouldn't trade our new lifestyle. I love all the activities here and there are so many ways to met new friends. Having a special friend takes time. Think back to the time you met your last friends and the time it took to have that special bond.

I think that everyone is so busy here in TV that it's hard to have the just stop by friend. The people in TV seem friendlier than in Ca.

have you gone to the Crispers meeting? You will meet people there that you chat with here.

[Barefoot]

I am quite disappointed to read that it can be difficult to make friends in TV.
Does that mean that hype about TV being "the friendliest hometown" is just a marketing ploy?
We have been hoping that when we come down in the winter, we will make friends easily based on all the advertising. Is that just a pipe dream?
Of course life isn't perfect in "the friendliest hometown". Just like anywhere else, there are friendly people, but also cliques and lots of established friendships.
However if you are cheerful, friendly and caring you will have no problem making new friends.
Even hanging out at the adult pools is a great way to meet people.
Many of the people you meet will not "click" with you and so you won't pursue getting together.
Gradually you will find people with similar interests and you will "click" with them and get to love them.
It takes time. Have patience, and soon you will have formed some wonderful friendships.

[sunny46]

I'm sorry, but I just saw your post. Did you find some friends? I've been here 10 years and only have one true friend. I'll see if we click, if you want.

[JoMar]

We moved here in September south of 466A into a new neighborhood where everyone was new and working through how to meet new friends. We held a driveway meet and greet and there was another today as new folks move in. We also had a couple folks take control and set up an online communication system, a monthly men's lunch, a monthly ladies lunch and a monthly couples dine out. They have also rented a room at the Manatee Rec Center for a monthly get together. It takes someone or several someone's to take control but if you can make that happen you should be able to break into some new friends.

[salpal]

Join our group - the Juliets -- Just Us Ladies Into EveryThing.
We meet every Friday night at 5:00 under the clock at Lake Sumter Landing and enjoy dinner together. You can identify us because we all wear black tops and silver necklaces. We have no meetings, dues or agenda, just fun and friendship. Come to the square and learn how to join, just give us your email and you will get a bi-monthly newsletter with our events. For example, tonight is our Halloween Party. The Juliets was a Godsend to me when I was missing girlfriends, now I have many!!!

[Lauren Sweeny]

Friends and acquaintances ....I have to say friends ( confidants that you know you can share just about everything) are rare and lucky if you do find a few. Not being an outgoing personality ( think homebody) it takes a big effort to find the club or group In which you can find ( relate with) one possible new friend..Being new or even established here ....the truth is ....finding a friends like the ones back home takes more effort in TV because we have to join something or make the first move. If you do meet with people give the group a chance ,perhaps there is one in that group you can find that spark of mutual need or shared interest. You can always PM me....I have several new friend ladies that want to take a ride over to Mt Dora, tarpon Springs and St. Augustine....we are not a group of couples, just a bunch of women who need to gab ,vent and enjoy life.

[tedquick]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.

Friends are like lovers. Sometimes you have to sift through a whole bunch before you find that special one while other times, it seems comparatively quick and easy. The most important thing to remember is that in order to have a friend you must be a friend. I am going to suggest that if you keep reaching out and meeting people (with no expectations whatsoever) one day you will realize that you have found that “special” person and it will simply flow thereafter. Hang in there.

[twoas1@comcast.net]

Moved here a year ago and just can't seem to click with anyone. We moved into an established neighborhood and those that are not snow birds keep to themselves. Only two on our street have been friendly.

Don't really expect any answers, just wondering if I am the only one who misses their friends back home. Miss having someone just pop open the door with a yoo-hoo! and having girl time.

I am not shy and have joined in a few groups, just seems most have their friend plate full.

Whew! I feel better already.
Oh my gosh, I just wrote my three 'sister/friends' in Minnesota and said I miss girl time and hugs so much, I could just cry. Just moved here in Sept. and I am not shy about leaving my phone # with those girls that seem to click with me. I feel like, a fish out of water too. If you want to 'talk' with another 'fish', email me at twoas1@comcast.net

[NotGolfer]

Think back to how you met your friends up north. Was it in your neighborhood, because of your kids, work, club activities, church?? How long ago was that? Here, everyone is from somewhere else and circumstances of how people meet are varied as well. IF you move into an "established" neighborhood it may take time to edge in. Many folks meet because they went to the pool or joined a certain club here or attend a certain church. I've found to make friends one has to make an effort and reach out. You might score once out of 10 or it might be once out of two depending on the circumstance. One of my best friends that I had up north, I met in Newcomers. I went up to that person, introduced myself and got the contact info and acted on it fairly soon. It takes time and effort. We're all mostly older now so what was familiar will seem strange here because it is. We've relocated and everyone is trying to find their niche.

The neighborhood we moved into was somewhat established already when we got here. There is a smattering of seasonal folks (harder to connect with I've found), some singles and the rest couples. That said, our neighborhood isn't typical in where "everyone" is social together. We've made our friends through joining up in the organizations that pique our interests AND at our church.

Best wishes in finding your special someone(s). Don't be discouraged!

[Shimpy]

I have made some wonderful friends here. They don't replace my 30 + year friends of course but there is still time.


New friends can never replace old friends from 30 years ago since they haven't shared that history with you. It may include other friends, spouses, children, grandchildren, workplaces, etc. New friends can only start from now and at our age the history we share with old friends is long ago and can't be appreciated by new friends.

[Shimpy]

I am quite disappointed to read that it can be difficult to make friends in TV.


I haven't found it difficult at all. After reading all the hype of TV I had the impression that when I first moved in that the whole neighborhood would come over and give me a big welcome when they saw the moving truck, but nope, not a one. My neighbors are friendly but keep to themselves.
All my friends have come from people I've met at the neighborhood pool or several clubs I've joined.
You have to get out and join activities to meet people with similiar interests, they won't come knocking on your door.

[pbkmaine]

I guess we got the friendly neighbors. When we moved in, everyone on our street was expecting us and knew our names. They came over armed with brownies, cookies, chocolates and invitations to play cards and sit and visit. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

[DruannB]

I can't fully express my sadness at hearing that so many people are lonely. My husband and I have moved so many times that we no longer have close friends. Add a 60-hour work week and it becomes worse. I was hoping to change that when I came to TV, although we don't want to live near Brownwood--which means a new neighborhood. Life is what you make it, however, so I will try very hard to make up for all the years I lost, and if anyone wants a friend, I am more than willing to be there for you. And I would love for someone to just drop in. I haven't had that experience since I was in my 20's.

[Barefoot]

That said, our neighborhood isn't typical in where "everyone" is social together.

I think your neighborhood is more typical than you think. A lot of neighbors are somewhat shy and "keep to themselves". But they are friendly if you make the first move.


I haven't found it difficult at all. After reading all the hype of TV I had the impression that when I first moved in that the whole neighborhood would come over and give me a big welcome when they saw the moving truck, but nope, not a one. My neighbors are friendly but keep to themselves.
All my friends have come from people I've met at the neighborhood pool or several clubs I've joined.
You have to get out and join activities to meet people with similiar interests, they won't come knocking on your door.

I agree that it does take a little effort to meet new friends. And you won't become BFFs with everyone you meet.
As Shimpy said, they won't come knocking on your door (usually).
But if you are open and welcoming, soon you will have many wonderful new friends.
It's nice to bond with people who are the same age and experiencing the same challenges and joys as you are.

[2newyorkers]

There is a Girl Scout song that always rang true to me:

Make new friends but keep the old
One is silver and the other gold

[Happinow]

It's kind of odd. Recently our neighborhood changed drastically. We have had two new neighbors move in. When the first one moved in my husband and I had a welcome cocktail party for them, inviting all of our neighbors in our cul de sac. It was fun getting everyone together. Since that time, no one has initiated any other contact. We thought that if we gave our neighbors a warm welcome, then we may get the cul de sac to do more together. It's not the case and we are did disappointed.

[marianne237]

We started several driveway parties. Used to watch the rockets go up from Kennedy center...straight view from the street. But, if I don't start it up, no one else does. My best friend is moving in 2 months to California and I'm going to miss her so much. She can always get me to laughing when the world seems to close in.

Maybe we need a TOTV coffee break at Crispers...just us girls?

[Sweet Caroline]

Come join us on a Friday at Sterling Heights for a friendly game of Bunco at 9:30. We will introduce you to some of the friendliest people in the Villages. Private message me for more info. We are so busy that I have had to learn to say NO! It does take a while to find those special friends but we are here waiting to get to know you.