New this year to the Villages

[thehags]

This is our first season down here and we are enjoying so many of the activities. But anytime we go to a "Club" event we find that everyone already has their groups. More times than not - when I approach a group to see if the chairs next to them are available...they are saving them. If we sit at a new table...unless there are no other chairs around...we end up sitting there alone. We recently went to our neighborhood social meeting where we sat alone at a table and when some "neighbors" came in they took the rest of the chairs at our table and crowded around a table near by. Is this something anyone else has run into?

[redwitch]

I've found that it helps if you call someone from the club first. Then they usually make sure you're included. I think part of it may be that it is the snowbird season.

I'm truly sorry you have been experiencing such rude behavior. It might be worth mentioning this problem when you call to get information about the club. That way, extra effort might be made to be sure you're included.

[jadebox]

The other night I told someone that it was rude to ask to take chairs from a couple or person sitting alone. The correct thing to do is invite the persons/person to join them and bring along their extra chairs. I hope someone takes my advice and does this. Another thing is at one club we had a members/new guests table. If you were alone you sat there. Someone from the club always sat there too. It was usually me because I hate walking into a room and being told the chair is taken. I met many nice people that way.

[Boomer]

This is our first season down here and we are enjoying so many of the activities. But anytime we go to a "Club" event we find that everyone already has their groups. More times than not - when I approach a group to see if the chairs next to them are available...they are saving them. If we sit at a new table...unless there are no other chairs around...we end up sitting there alone. We recently went to our neighborhood social meeting where we sat alone at a table and when some "neighbors" came in they took the rest of the chairs at our table and crowded around a table near by. Is this something anyone else has run into?


Oh my. What in the heck is the matter with these people?

Are you sure that you did not accidentally attend the wrong meeting?

Maybe it was the "We're the World's Tackiest People" club. Or it could have been the "We Are What We Were in High School and Never Could Get Past It" club. I know. It had to have been the "Excu-u-u-se Us, We Were Raised By Wolves" club.

What asinine behavior. (I so wish that word had a double s.)

I know that there are lots of nice people with manners in TV. We met some of them when we visited. It will get better.

Boomer

[thehags]

Thanks for your kind replies. We have met so many great people here in the villages and I think I just needed to express how upsetting those isolated incidents were. Thanks to this forum I had the opportunity to do that!

[Villages Kahuna]

With well over 1,000 clubs, I'm sure there are some that are less welcoming than others. Most I've been involved with are quite open and welcoming. Only a couple left me feeling less than totally included. One was a "state" club which seemed to be dominated by folks from only certain towns. It must have been noticed by others because within a few months of my first visit to the state club, a new club appealing to members from only a certain part of the state was formed. It immediately attracted well over 100 members and seems to embody all the warmth we were hoping for and expecting.

Don't be too upset. Just try another club and get on with the enjoyment.

[Boomer]

There has been quite a bit of discussion today in a couple of threads about manners - or should I say the lack thereof.

Anyway, I was reminded of this older thread so I went back and bumped it.

Who knows? Maybe some of the self absorbed in TV may read some of this stuff, recognize themselves, and change their ways. -- Ya think????!!!!

Actually, I know that is a rhetorical question.

[kd-dp2000]

Yes, we experienced the same kind of "rudeness". No one welcomed us, no one spoke, and no one asked us to join their "group". Needless to say, we did not go back to that club meeting. BTW....it is one of the largest groups in TV. We heard it is such a fun club, and I suppose it is, if you are in a group. We stood in a corner by ourselves, drank our beer, and left before the meeting began. Perhaps we will try it again in the future, IF we have a group that we can take with us, because we would like to experience the same fun that the group advertises.

[graciegirl]

Boomer! What a warm witty reply! This is very enlightening to me as we are just now in the informational gathering stage. I will have to think about what I would do. Wear a name tag, not your name but "I AM NEW".

[Boomer]

Boomer! What a warm witty reply! This is very enlightening to me as we are just now in the informational gathering stage. I will have to think about what I would do. Wear a name tag, not your name but "I AM NEW".


Never fear, graciegirl. I am a fellow Buckeye. (saw that in the other thread) -also still doing my homework but hoping to get there before the end of '08 for a second home. We are going to look for a patio villa and hold onto the house here, too.

Anyway, we brand new Buckeyes can just get our own table and sing "Hang On Sloopy" really really loud until everyone wants to join us. (Actually I know nothing about sports and we are MU grads. But I do know all the words to that song so I can fake 'em out if they are not nice at first.)

I prefer to think that a pretentious Midwesterner is an oxymoron.

[Floridagal]

I found the same thing. People here are very clicky. My husband and I have gone to a few clubs which we were interested in and if we did not know someone we usually sat alone. If we try to go to a table with a few couples we are told the other seats are taken. I haven't found yet where we were welcome to join a group already seated.

[Russ_Boston]

The responses on this thread have me VERY worried. Not about Russ_Boston but more for Linda_Boston. She intends to join numerous groups (swimmers, quilts, painting, bikers etc.). I certainly hope these incidents are sporadic. I have no concerns because i will golf with anyone and i usually have no problem making friends with fellow golfers (male or female) but Linda is a different animal - slow to warm let's say.

The last thing we need is for her to feel left out of activities. Perhaps the best way is to make friends on a team (softball, swimming etc.) and then find other clubs that these new friends belong to? Please advise me.

Thanks - Russ

[redwitch]

Russ, I've the cliques are more for the clubs that sit around and talk rather than do. It seems that if there are activities involved, it is much easier to join in. But if it is one that meets, has lunch and then does something, it becomes much more difficult.

The biking clubs here are pretty fast -- even the "lazy" one goes at a decent clip (not fast, fast, but decent). No problem with joining them. My gut feeling is the same would be true of a swimming club.

The crafts clubs might be iffy. It might be worth checking out and if she's not greeted warmly, then wait to find someone who belongs and try again.

Once you're here, she may discover new interests she didn't know she had. Those are best found through the friends she makes.

[pqrstar]

Just don't take these incidents too personal. They will happen, but hang in there. Just remember its nothing against you.

It's human nature to want to sit with familiar faces. Don't give up. Soon enough, you will have found your group of familiar faces too.

[Barefoot]

Just don't take these incidents too personal. They will happen, but hang in there. Just remember its nothing against you. It's human nature to want to sit with familiar faces. Don't give up. Soon enough, you will have found your group of familiar faces too.


:agree: It will take you a few months to make your connections, but it will happen!! Before you know it, you'll be one of the residents, and hopefully, you'll be sure to welcome newbies.

[Village Kid 2]

While I empathize with all who enter a room full of strangers and feel a bit uncomfortable (I certainly have too), I find that if I put forth some effort, smile and introduce myself, people are usually receptive. And if one can find one person who will talk, that is usually all you need to break the ice. Proactive vs. Reactive?

VK

[jerseygirl008]

VK: Very well stated. Love you dancing avater.

It is always uncomfortable when you are treated like you are basically invisible. The trick is to become "visible". Rather than sit at a table that's empty, crab a chair and add yourself to a table that's got a few openings. Then say, "I'd (we'd) rather not sit alone, we are new here". That would be proactive. Some would say, just pull up the chair and nix the words altogether. I would rather make the statement that I'm new and put the ball in their court, introduce myself and show how friendly I am. They should reciprocate. My 2 cents.

[Boomer]

I had forgotten all about this until yesterday. (You know how that goes.) Anyway, I thought I would post the information in this thread. This is where it seems to fit best.

When we visited TV in the fall, we met people who gave us their cards. I don't mean that they wanted to inspect us for termites or sell us real estate or anything like that. They were villagers who used cards to establish and maintain contact. The cards have phone numbers, emails, hometowns, etc. I guess people put as much or as little information out there as they individually want to.

It seems like I saw something about a class you could take for designing your cards. (But I might be making that up.) But with all the computer stuff that people can now do on their own, I am sure this is easy enough to do yourself.

Anyway, I am wondering how common the exchange of cards is in TV. --nice touch.

TV is so big that you could hit it off with someone that you meet at the square and then never see them again -- but want to. Offering a card is a lovely gesture.

Of course, if we ever get there, Mr. B and I will have to have a discussion about what picture to put on the card. I know he will want an airplane. I don't know what I will want. But I have spent so :edit: much time on this computer this winter that you will recognize me right away. I have now evolved into a creature with only one huge glowing eye that takes up my entire forehead and really nimble fingers. Oh, and five pounds fatter to anyone who knew me before. It has been the longest winter ever. We have to get to TV.

[Time for Tee]

We also are first season residents. Have had the same problem is certain clubs --some are very large and you just get lost. We just kept going back early to find a table that was not being held for other friends. One was the Il. club with many, many Chicago people and we are from downstate~~~Bloomington. Last meeting (third time) we met a really fun couple from Springfield and exchanged cards. We are seasonal residents so its nice to go home and be with our old friends but enjoy meeting all of the new people from all over the world. We are both in the Medical profession so meeting people was and still is a important part of our life. We also play golf and Bocce ball and many times exchange social cards.
I have taken a social card (Business Card) class and also have made cards with American Greetings site (fee). These are great because you can add pictures. We put our picture on it and they can relate the name to the faces. Easy to forget when you meet so many new people. I also did the free Business(social) card site which you can have 500 made and pick our a logo. The site is www.vistaprint.com Our card has clouds! Not a large selection but pretty neat since they were free and they will last a long time with that many!! Think they called just once to see if we wanted to order more. Just say no!
Hope this helps and if you want to go out to Dinner sometime just email us! :beer3:

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Hi,

We are newbies also. I think of the many suggestions made on this thread, the one Red suggested might be one of the best.

If you call the number given for the contact person of the club you will get to know someone and ask them to identify themselves so you can recognize them.

From my very limited experience when someone knows a newbie is coming to the club they will then make an effort to introduce themselves and make you feel warm and welcome.

As I said, my experience is very limited as we are not here that long.

You can always contact us and we will be happy to meet with you and go to a club with you.

Hyacinth Bucket

[villages07]

BBB,

We call them "social cards" down here rather than business cards and yes, I do keep a supply in my purse, golf bag, pool bag, tennis bag, etc. It's a very common practice to exchange social cards with new acquaintences.

the bag lady...

[renielarson]

Hmmmm

I'm taken a bit back with "social" cards. I would rather make an impression with whom I am than "advertise".

I hope people find me friendly enough to want to remember me and request a way to stay in touch. Or...I hope I find others friendly enough that I want to remember them and stay in touch. When this is the case, we have always found a way to connect...without so called "social cards".

Don't think this is the way I want to go. Just call me old fashioned, if you want.

[nONIE]

Hmmmm

I'm taken a bit back with "social" cards. I would rather make an impression with whom I am than "advertise".

I hope people find me friendly enough to want to remember me and request a way to stay in touch. Or...I hope I find others friendly enough that I want to remember them and stay in touch. When this is the case, we have always found a way to connect...without so called "social cards".

Don't think this is the way I want to go. Just call me old fashioned, if you want.


Brightspot,

When we first came to TV and became aware of social cards I would have to agree with you about them. I had never heard of them and wondered where this idea had come from! seemed a bit stuffy to me.
now I realize what a big help they can be especially to someone as scatterbrained as me. I tend to lose phone numbers and names written on bits of paper. I have a special place for the social cards I collect and even have decided to make up some of our own to hand out.

being retired and handing out social cards sounds alot better to me then still working and handing out business cards. ;D

[travelstiles]

being retired and handing out social cards sounds alot better to me then still working and handing out business cards. ;D
[/quote]

Nonie ~ :bigthumbsup:
Couldn't agree more. I would never remember the people I've met without writing little reminder notes on the back of these cards.
BTW, did I give you one of my cards on Sunday
:dontknow:

[t fields]

i will also be new to the villages!! i hope u don't austorize (sp) us as u do all these underserving people, but please be real!! we are where u were when u moved here! i don't expect anyone to do anything special but be nice, as in u are a welcome person here and don't feel neglected. I come from the south where we love newcomers and go out of our way to make you feel comfortable and happy, and whatever u need i'm here to help!!! please , let's pass this feeling forward !!!! ok, thanks, trish

[renielarson]

Friendship isn't a business to me...it comes from the heart...

I don't need a card for that!

[nONIE]

Travel,

yes you did and thankyou so much. ;D

[KathieI]

IMHO, I think these social cards are extremely nice and I love it when someone hands me their's.

I had this happen for the first time last November when I came to TV without my husband and met some people at LSL square and at the manicurist. I thought it was a lovely gesture and very professionally done and I personally can't wait to have mine made up. Of course, mine will have a cute :redface: logo on it.

Just my opinion... Kath :redface:

[pm10]

I've never seen social cards before - but I kinda like the idea. Especially for someone like me..................who's memory is so poor, I could probably hide my own Easter eggs!

[renielarson]

so...are you telling me that I can't make it on my own merits and need to remind all of you who I am?

All I can think about are all the business cards my husband collects and leaves all over the house...never to be looked at again...

Dang...was hoping I was more personally impressive than that!

[KathieI]

Ummmmmm,

What's your name again???

Only kidding Brightspot!!

Kathie :redface:

[Boomer]

Hmmmm

I'm taken a bit back with "social" cards. I would rather make an impression with whom I am than "advertise".

I hope people find me friendly enough to want to remember me and request a way to stay in touch. Or...I hope I find others friendly enough that I want to remember them and stay in touch. When this is the case, we have always found a way to connect...without so called "social cards".

Don't think this is the way I want to go. Just call me old fashioned, if you want.



I think I am the one who started this card discussion this morning in this thread so I guess I will just go ahead now and run the gauntlet.

I still think it is a really nice gesture. And as far as being old-fashioned goes, to me this seems like a modern version of the Victorian calling card. -- not exactly -- but sort of -- and how old-fashioned is that.

But it's pretty much like everything else in TV: New/Pre-Owned, VLS/MLS, POA/VHA. It all gets worked out.

Now I am going to digress because it is what I do. So tune out if you can't stand it.

I actually find myself wanting to say really grouchy things right now. But I won't. I am grouchy because our roof just started to leak. I had to call Mr. Boomer home from a meeting. It's the chimney flashing. And it is pouring down rain and will do so for the next 24 at least.

I just saved the books on the shelves and the antique picture over the fireplace.

This is not a deluge. It is a seep, seep, plop, plop. But who knows what is to come.

Mr. Boomer is up in the attic now. I had to wrestle him to keep him from going up on the roof. You ladies know how men can be. And have you ever heard the expression, "You can always tell a German, but you can't tell him much." (and his other quarter is Irish.) But I think he's still in the attic.

I am sitting here in the kitchen typing away but really I am eavesdropping, literally, only backwards. I try to take really good care of Mr. Boomer and he is not going to go up on the roof, in the rain, at night.

I know I sound grouchy. But in my heart I am always thankful when the good Lord gives me a problem that can be fixed. So even though it looks like I am saying, "Oh poor Boomer," I really am sitting here counting my blessings. But one of them is NOT GOING TO GO UP ON THE ROOF. IN THE DARK. IN THE POURING RAIN.

[renielarson]

Each to their own...I'm not going to judge...however, you know where I stand on this issue.

[Boomer]

I know I am hijacking this thread. Think of it as therapy. I'll skulk in later and delete it or something.

Girls, he just looked deep into my eyes and said, "It's very simple. It's safe. And it makes sense." (Where have we heard that line before?)

Now he has gone to the basement to dredge up bricks and 2X4's and a tarp.

He is wearing me down.

He says I just need to hold the flashlight..

[nONIE]

Boomer you are a riot!

Sounds like the makings of a new soap opera !LOL

[Barefoot]

I think personal cards are a great idea! Especially for the organizationally challenged. Brightspot .. you must be way more organized than I am, and good for you! I often want to write down someone's name and number but don't have a pen or a piece of paper, (or else I do write it on the back of my hand and then wash it off). ;D I received one card that listed both the winter home in the Villages and the summer home up north. How nice to have that information. Even people back in Canada are handing out personal cards. I started out thinking it was pretentious, now I think it makes a lot of sense. ;)

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Boomer I hope you are not going on the roof.

He is lucky to have you. Who else would call him and tell him about the leak, get him out of a boring meeting on a nasty night and then hold the flash light?

Hyacinth Bucket

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Barefoot, I thought I was the only one who still wrote messages to myself on the palm of my hand.

I find the cards extremely helpful. I can jot down on the back of the card where I met someone. Need this to jog my memory as we are meeting so many new wonderful people.

Now, I have to get cards made up for us to give them out.

I enjoy Victorian Mystery novels - and I think it is fun to do this. Perhaps that is why I am not adverse to this idea or if it simplifies life - I am all for it.

Pretentious? I never thought of it that way.

Brightspot - here in the Villages no one will judge you whether or not you have cards made up or not. Do what you feel is best for you.

Just have fun here.

Hyacinth Bucket

[Boomer]

Boomer I hope you are not going on the roof.

He is lucky to have you. Who else would call him and tell him about the leak, get him out of a boring meeting on a nasty night and then hold the flash light?

Hyacinth Bucket


He won.

It's done.

Oh Hyacinth, I did not go up on the roof, never have, never will. I held the flashlight while he wrapped and tied the chimney with the tarp.

After I had been holding the flashlight for only a short time, I realized that I should have worn a big hat or at least put in my contact lenses. Around the house I wear my coke bottle glasses and they don't have windshield wipers.

I know that now all of you think I'm easy. I was so vehement about his NOT going up on the roof.

But Mr. Boomer has saved the day (the night). Tomorrow he will want to fix the roof himself. I know.

And I will want to call in roofers.

Mr. Boomer just looked around the corner and said, "See, that wasn't so bad."

He was right.

Boomer

btw Thanks for the use of thread. Now I will return it to its rightful place.

Oh, and I AM going to have social cards when I get to TV. But hey, somebody who does not like them can just use one of mine to write their social info on. It will all work out.

[Boomer]

Boomer you are a riot!

Sounds like the makings of a new soap opera !LOL


Ah yes, Nonie.

How well I remember Rusty Eden.

I guess tonight's little slice of life was more like reality TV.

Thanks for the kind words.

[Hyacinth Bucket]

BBB are you going to create a drawing of two people under a roof - one with a flashlight on your calling cards?

We will all know who you are immediately.

Hyacinth Bucket

[renielarson]

I started out thinking it was pretentious, now I think it makes a lot of sense. ;)


Barefoot...you got me thinking. Social cards are something I have never heard of before and maybe you hit the nail on the head when you said..."I started out....." Guess I'm at the beginning stage of this and need more time to sort it all out.

You know what they say about it being hard to teach an old dog new tricks! (ME!)

[Boomer]

BBB are you going to create a drawing of two people under a roof - one with a flashlight on your calling cards?

We will all know who you are immediately.

Hyacinth Bucket


Thank you for the idea Ms. Bouquet.

H-m-m-m... Mr Boomer on the roof, in pouring rain, at night, covering the flashing with a tarp. Me on the patio shining the flashlight up as best I can, even though my glasses have no windshield wipers.

I might have to get a really big card or a tri-fold card and tell the whole story.

Or would such a card give me flashbacks about flashing and flashlights?!

Now, I had better stop hijacking this thread or somebody will come in here and try to make me behave.

Boomer

[Hyacinth Bucket]

BBB you could be wearing a flimsy negligee as you are holding the flashlight. People will definitely remember both of you. ;)

You are politically correct about hijacking so before :cop: I am going to beat it out of here.

HB

[Peggy D]

I like the term "social" cards. We have used them for years. Alot of times when you want to write down someones' number or address (or yours), it never fails, I don't have a pen or something to write on. We found these "socal" cards very helpful.

We designed our own--good ol' Print Shop, but I like the idea of using your photo on them.

I don't find them impersonal at all. Glad to hear they are used in TV.

[Russ_Boston]

Let's face it - during your business life you routinely hand out cards even when you meet someone in a personal situation. No different here - they just don't call them business cards.

[Peggy D]

Let's face it - during your business life you routinely hand out cards even when you meet someone in a personal situation. No different here - they just don't call them business cards.


Good point Russ

[Mikitv]

I love having the "social cards" . Victorian times people use to call them calling cards and handed them out the same way. Good way for me to remember people I meet and I can scan them right into the computer and add my own notes.

[Rokinronda]

Hope to go to my 1st TOTV meeting Fri.. Can't stay long, (rocky and the rollers commitment), but I will be passing out my social card for future gatherings! When we arrived here we were given a card from a really friendly lady. I had cards made and find it is easy to just say to a new "friend". Here is my #, call and lets do lunch sometime or call when you go to the pool again, or the doggy park, or call if you need anything!................I love the cards!!!!

[nONIE]

Ronda, looking forward to meeting you Friday, even if it is for a short time. ;D