Misconceptions about gender issue

[Villages PL]

I had to leave the thread where I asked why it was important to know what gender someone is on this website. I found it amazing how misunderstood my intention was to start the thread. People seem to feel very free to read in their own interpretation. And then they believe it.

1) I actually thought Gracie's thread about gender was fun and that's why I participated in it.

2) I had hoped that my thread would be fun too, perhaps in a learning or self realization way. In other words, we might learn something about each other.

3) Solidarity is not necessarily bad, sinister or evil, it's just a fact, in my opinion.

So, again, what I wondered was why do we have to know what gender a person is in order to communicate with them?

Here's something I thought of later: There are many couples participating on this website. I don't suppose the husband would like it very much if his wife got chummy with another man or vice versa. So there are unofficial rules that I normally don't think of because I just don't think that way. I guess I go around thinking that it's all equal because it's just "talk". What could be more innocent than that? But evidently it's not innocent to some people.

That may be the reason some women feel the need to be upset, condescending, harassing or complaining. If the husband says anything, she can say, "I don't like him, I was telling him off!" Otherwise, why is it that some women never communicate with me unless there is something to complain about?

[Patty55]

I had to leave the thread where I asked why it was important to know what gender someone is on this website. I found it amazing how misunderstood my intention was to start the thread. People seem to feel very free to read in their own interpretation. And then they believe it.

1) I actually thought Gracie's thread about gender was fun and that's why I participated in it.

2) I had hoped that my thread would be fun too, perhaps in a learning or self realization way. In other words, we might learn something about each other.

3) Solidarity is not necessarily bad, sinister or evil, it's just a fact, in my opinion.

So, again, what I wondered was why do we have to know what gender a person is in order to communicate with them?

Here's something I thought of later: There are many couples participating on this website. I don't suppose the husband would like it very much if his wife got chummy with another man or vice versa. So there are unofficial rules that I normally don't think of because I just don't think that way. I guess I go around thinking that it's all equal because it's just "talk". What could be more innocent than that? But evidently it's not innocent to some people.

That may be the reason some women feel the need to be upset, condescending, harassing or complaining. If the husband says anything, she can say, "I don't like him, I was telling him off!" Otherwise, why is it that some women never communicate with me unless there is something to complain about?

I think you're overthinking this thing.

[billethkid]

I think you missed the point last time and are using the misconception as the premise for a new thread by stating:

"So, again, what I wondered was why do we have to know what gender a person is in order to communicate with them?"

NO ONE ever said or stated that. It was for fun....curiosity....just because...or I wonder....or what ever....but not needed to communicate!!!!!

[Big O]

Quit while you're ahead.

[Villages PL]

I think you missed the point last time and are using the misconception as the premise for a new thread by stating:

"So, again, what I wondered was why do we have to know what gender a person is in order to communicate with them?"

NO ONE ever said or stated that. It was for fun....curiosity....just because...or I wonder....or what ever....but not needed to communicate!!!!!

Maybe you didn't read all the replies. I recall people saying they like to know the gender because it does matter in how they would reply.

[OBXNana]

I agree with the first two posts. I will only address your last question "Otherwise, why is it that some women never communicate with me unless there is something to complain about? "

Until recently, and prior to Gracie's post, I didn't know if you were male or female. I wondered because I couldn't pick up anything personal about you. I have a feel for many on this forum and may be totally wrong. Some I know love dogs and others not so much. Some have physical challenges, others love to golf, and a few get their feather's ruffled when anyone has a differing opinion. With your posts I respect your strong convictions on what you eat, health related issues, and wonder sometimes what makes you tick. Maybe it's my behavioral science background, but when I see your posts I want to know more. Who is Villages PL beyond health and food?

Most people on this forum don't know each other personally and some may be hiding behind a key board telling lies. For me, it's the personal connection you feel with a person that builds a bond and without a bond, it may be hard for some to relate. So, Villages PL, what I suggest is posting on other topics and letting us get to know who you really are behind the amazing ability to eat like the rest of us probably should and don't!

I am a female, told I think like a man, and still don't take that as a compliment or criticism. I am simply me.

[Villages PL]

Quit while you're ahead.

Am I ahead? ;)

[Patty55]

Am I ahead? ;)

Not in my opinion.:1rotfl:

[2BNTV]

Quit while your losing, as the hole you keep digging, gets deeper.

Let it go dude!

[rubicon]

Who's on first?

[Villages PL]

I agree with the first two posts. I will only address your last question "Otherwise, why is it that some women never communicate with me unless there is something to complain about? "

Until recently, and prior to Gracie's post, I didn't know if you were male or female. I wondered because I couldn't pick up anything personal about you. I have a feel for many on this forum and may be totally wrong. Some I know love dogs and others not so much. Some have physical challenges, others love to golf, and a few get their feather's ruffled when anyone has a differing opinion. With your posts I respect your strong convictions on what you eat, health related issues, and wonder sometimes what makes you tick. Maybe it's my behavioral science background, but when I see your posts I want to know more. Who is Villages PL beyond health and food?

Most people on this forum don't know each other personally and some may be hiding behind a key board telling lies. For me, it's the personal connection you feel with a person that builds a bond and without a bond, it may be hard for some to relate. So, Villages PL, what I suggest is posting on other topics and letting us get to know who you really are behind the amazing ability to eat like the rest of us probably should and don't!

I am a female, told I think like a man, and still don't take that as a compliment or criticism. I am simply me.

Thanks, I appreciate your reply.

Here's where I get in trouble. :icon_wink: It seems like what you're saying is that gender is important. Without it you wouldn't feel a personal connection and wouldn't be able to form a bond. And you say it would be hard for some to relate without forming a bond. And, if I may go one step further, if a person can't relate, it likely won't promote favorable ongoing communications.

The problem is: I have noticed a lot of gender bias. And if I had it to do all over again, I probably wouldn't divulge my gender.

[Bonanza]

Am I ahead? ;)

Quit while you're ahead.

I think you're overthinking this thing.

Not in my opinion.:1rotfl:

Quit while your losing, as the hole you keep digging, gets deeper.

Let it go dude!

Not in my opinion, either, and the same holds true for many people with whom I've actually spoken.

Most of the time your threads and posts are offensive, slanted, too off the wall, or some other negative thing. Very often, there is no one who agrees with you and you never seem to get the message. Most of the time the "messages" are profound and make sense, but your post or thread doesn't.

You asked "Am I ahead," and it would appear that no one has given you a real answer, other than no, you aren't ahead. The Moderator shouldn't remove what I'm saying because you did, in fact, ask!

[OBXNana]

Thanks, I appreciate your reply.

Here's where I get in trouble. :icon_wink: It seems like what you're saying is that gender is important. Without it you wouldn't feel a personal connection and wouldn't be able to form a bond. And you say it would be hard for some to relate without forming a bond. And, if I may go one step further, if a person can't relate, it likely won't promote favorable ongoing communications.

The problem is: I have noticed a lot of gender bias. And if I had it to do all over again, I probably wouldn't divulge my gender.

You misconstrued what I said or I wasn't clear in what I wanted to convey. That is what happens without personal contact and when posting on any forum. I did not form an opinion of you because I wasn't sure if you were male or female. Now that I know, my feelings are no different for or against you. I do feel at times you come across in what could be considered an abrasive manner. There is a female on this forum from time to time, that for me, also is abrasive. Very similar in many areas. One is male and the other female. I personally see little difference.

Are you sure there is gender bias against you, or any male, because of being male or simply a difference of opinion? Do you feel it is gender bias in general or just against you and you feel it because you are a male?

Then the John Gray theory of MarsVenus. Possibly you are correct and females may react differently, but it is all females and all males? You appear to be very detail oriented. Maybe you could figure out the percentages of males that agree with males, females with females, or the gender is not a factor?

I'm a number freak and this would be an interesting study. Do you enjoy numbers, statistics, and human interaction? If so, this could be right down your train of thought.

[KayakerNC]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Villages PL View Post
Am I ahead?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big O View Post
Quit while you're ahead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patty55 View Post
I think you're overthinking this thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patty55 View Post
Not in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2BNTV View Post
Quit while your losing, as the hole you keep digging, gets deeper.

Let it go dude!



Not in my opinion, either, and the same holds true for many people with whom I've actually spoken.

Most of the time your threads and posts are offensive, slanted, too off the wall, or some other negative thing. Very often, there is no one who agrees with you and you never seem to get the message. Most of the time the "messages" are profound and make sense, but your post or thread doesn't.

You asked "Am I ahead," and it would appear that no one has given you a real answer, other than no, you aren't ahead. The Moderator shouldn't remove what I'm saying because you did, in fact, ask!

:agree: :popcorn:

[redwitch]

Maybe your question should be rephrased and directed at the men on this forum: Do you (men) see a solidarity with the women here? Do you feel they pick on you or are negative towards you because you're male?

If the majority of replies are in the negative, then maybe it is time to look in mirror and ask yourself what it is you are doing wrong.

[graciegirl]

Every person in this world wants approval. They may say they don't but they do and it is how we go about getting the attention we need that makes life easy or hard.

There are little children who will settle for negative attention rather than none and they grow up and sometimes they do the same thing as adults.

None of us like to be dissed, put down and disagreed with, but most of us know or suspect when they have gone too far.

We all have our hot buttons and our fears and our passions.

I know I went to far today on the issue of Islamic terrorists.


We are all people with foibles and we all really want pretty much the same thing; acceptance and approval.

And when it rains all day and we aren't working, too many stay indoors and fight with each other on the internet.

[tomwed]

Every person in this world wants approval. They may say they don't but they do and it is how we go about getting the attention we need that makes life easy or hard.

There are little children who will settle for negative attention rather than none and they grow up and sometimes they do the same thing as adults.

None of us like to be dissed, put down and disagreed with, but most of us know or suspect when they have gone too far.

We all have our hot buttons and our fears and our passions.

I know I went to far today on the issue of Islamic terrorists.


We are all people with foibles and we all really want pretty much the same thing; acceptance and approval.

And when it rains all day and we aren't working, too many stay indoors and fight with each other on the internet.


thank-you for being here