Exchanging of Christmas presents? Out of control?

[billethkid]

I have become disenchanted by the evolution of the over abundance of gifting at Christmas time. While it all is 100% well intended, it just has to be a time consuming and for some a finacial burden.

There has been talk for years about drawing names out of a hat or one gift for each couple (excluding the kids) etc. For us with 5 children, 11 grandchildren and 4 great grand children, as an example, it has become a real challenge.

It seems Chritmas has become way to commercialized. Proof this year with retailers rolling out Christmas "stuff" the first week in October. Black Fridays now morhing into black Friday WEEK!!!

Maybe I am getting old but the marathon of aquiring and then going through the pile of gifts has taken the shine off the season.

What have others done to bring some sanity and normalcy back to the spirit of the celebration of Christmas?

[jnieman]

My husband and my family haven't exchanged gifts for years. Not even for the kids. We do have a white elephant gift exchange valued at $20.00. It's fun to take the gifts back and forth and see what you end up with. There is no burden to buy gifts in our family. So glad of this as I don't think we could afford to do it now.

[quirky3]

When I asked what to get for my grand-nephew, his parents suggested no toys or clothes - maybe a home made photo album with pics and labels of the people on my side of the family that they could read to him like a book. (Shutterfly does that kind of thing too).

[DonH57]

My husband and my family haven't exchanged gifts for years. Not even for the kids. We do have a white elephant gift exchange valued at $20.00. It's fun to take the gifts back and forth and see what you end up with. There is no burden to buy gifts in our family. So glad of this as I don't think we could afford to do it now.

My wife and I and family haven't either. We take vacations. When I worked most places had the " Yankee Gift Swap" as it was called between workers and it seemed the larger the company Christmas parties were a thing of the past. Besides the commercialization of Christmas came the almost out of control of calling the Christmas season something else which really became absurd. I still long to go to the mall and sit with a box of popcorn and observe the show. I would rather avoid the traffic.:evil6:

[DianeM]

My framily and I still exchange gifts and it's wonderful. We do go shopping on Black Friday at four in the morning. It's fun to pick out things for other people. And Christmas Eve it's nice to be a kid again and open a present that you don't know what's in it. Price of gifts is limited to $20 per person and there are 16 of us including six kids 13 and under. All this talk about the stress of Christmas shopping etc. is just a bad case of Bah Humbug. If you allow yourself to get into it, you can experience the joy of giving and yes, receiving.

[OBXNana]

Neither of us came from large families and we are almost the oldest generation. His 85 year old mother does not need another trinket and we send fruit, flowers, and edible items staggered throughout the month, 12 months per year. She is constantly getting packages.

Our children and children in laws get a check. But, during the year we will pick things up we know they need/want and give it to them "just because". The gifts they receive from their inlaws are always returned, the inlaws are hurt, and it is a vicious cycle. Not our cup of tea. Check may be impersonal, but they sure do appreciate them.

Our grandchildren are young and we give them an inexpensive gift to unwrap. In July we take them for a week long trip. August is family week at the beach with their parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Thanksgiving is Busch Gardens for their Christmas theme and we do a long weekend in Williamsburg.

For us, it is less about things and more about experiences we share as a family. This works for us.

[NotGolfer]

We haven't exchanged with each other or the kids for years. We do give $$$ to the grandkids though. Instead we use the money we'd otherwise spend on gifts and give to the needy. There are so many people in the world with very little and are struggling so this is our way of giving back. Yes, the traditions are nice and all but really do we "need" any of the items??!! We still decorate the house and so forth but have to say that the commercialization thing is not missed!

[dewilson58]

I have become disenchanted by the evolution of the over abundance of gifting at Christmas time. While it all is 100% well intended, it just has to be a time consuming and for some a finacial burden.

There has been talk for years about drawing names out of a hat or one gift for each couple (excluding the kids) etc. For us with 5 children, 11 grandchildren and 4 great grand children, as an example, it has become a real challenge.

It seems Chritmas has become way to commercialized. Proof this year with retailers rolling out Christmas "stuff" the first week in October. Black Fridays now morhing into black Friday WEEK!!!

Maybe I am getting old but the marathon of aquiring and then going through the pile of gifts has taken the shine off the season.

What have others done to bring some sanity and normalcy back to the spirit of the celebration of Christmas?


Yepper

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

My family stopped buying for adults a long time ago. Now that most of the "kids" are adults we agreed to stop buying for them as well except for one niece who is 10 years old this year and my grandson who is three.

The rest of the family has a Yankee swap, which I personally don't like, but I go along when I visit at Christmas.

Sometimes when I go up there, I bring a small present for everyone because I enjoy giving them something. Some of them get a bit angry because they didn't get anything for me and we agreed not to exchange gifts. I tell them we are not exchanging gifts. I just wanted to get them a small token of my love for them and don't expect or want anything in return.

Some kind of draw a name out of a hat format is a god idea because it is nice to that everyone gets a gift at Christmas.

My previous wife's family exchanged gifts with everyone and it did become a financial burden. I'm glad we didn't have two families doing that. It would have been ridiculous. And half the stuff that you got, you didn't want. use or keep.

[Sable99]

We don't exchange gifts anymore either. We also take vacations instead. I love Christmas and decorate our entire home.

[Villages PL]

I have become disenchanted by the evolution of the over abundance of gifting at Christmas time. While it all is 100% well intended, it just has to be a time consuming and for some a finacial burden.

There has been talk for years about drawing names out of a hat or one gift for each couple (excluding the kids) etc. For us with 5 children, 11 grandchildren and 4 great grand children, as an example, it has become a real challenge.

It seems Chritmas has become way to commercialized. Proof this year with retailers rolling out Christmas "stuff" the first week in October. Black Fridays now morhing into black Friday WEEK!!!

Maybe I am getting old but the marathon of aquiring and then going through the pile of gifts has taken the shine off the season.

What have others done to bring some sanity and normalcy back to the spirit of the celebration of Christmas?


On one hand, I agree that "Christmas has become way too commercialized." On the other hand, I like to see a vibrant and thriving economy. So I have mixed feelings about it.

I only exchange a gift with one person and we try to keep it within reason, like under $10 dollars.

[tomwed]

We all stand in a big circle around the Christmas tree like in Charlie Brown. Then we each take out a fifty dollar bill and pass it to the left. It used to be a twenty when we couldn't afford as much.

[Barefoot]

We haven't exchanged with each other or the kids for years. We do give $$$ to the grandkids though. Instead we use the money we'd otherwise spend on gifts and give to the needy.


We don't exchange gifts anymore either. We also take vacations instead.

Same with us. I love taking the commercial aspect out of Christmas.
We also donate to charities and plan a vacation for the two of us.
We enjoy a Christmas Eve church service and a stress-free Christmas day.

[Bonny]

We have a small family so it's not a big issue for us. We give our 2 daughters and their hubbys a check. We buy for our grandson.
No exchange of gifts any more for siblings, nieces or nephews. They are all older.
Hubby and I haven't exchanged gifts for years. We travel a lot and that's our gifts.
Our girls love to buy for us. They know if we can't eat it or drink it, don't get us anything. So they get us restaurant gift cards. Works well.
We have a group of us getting together for a Christmas get together. We are doing a re-gift gift exchange for fun. It can be something we got and don't want or something around the house that we are tired of looking at. This will be a fun time.

[graciegirl]

I don't think exchanging gifts, in my case giving gifts to people I love is commercial. Five years ago when we were all together we made present opening last for a long time. The gifts ranged from clever not very expensive ones from the college kids, to some nice stuff given by those who had a few extra bucks. We know each other well enough to know what would please the other or whether money would be more welcome this year, but even with money there would be presents to open even if it was a pair of inexpensive earrings wrapped in increasingly bigger boxes and some funny zingers and some beautiful made for you stuff.

Each person has traditions that make the day special and full of warmth. We can't tell anyone what is the right way to celebrate Christmas.

[Bonny]

We all stand in a big circle and take out a fifty dollar bill and pass it to the left. It used to be a twenty when we couldn't afford as much.

That would really be a fun thing to do at a Christmas Party. I might do that this year.

[Beth P]

I give to charities in the receiving persons honor. I love buying livestock from Heifer International in someones honor. If I find something that I just really think is perfect for someone and it's something they need or wouldn't buy for themselves then I will purchase a gift. I no longer feel "obligated" to give gifts and don't expect to receive any.

[Schaumburger]

My family is also fairly small, and our gift giving is quite moderate. For my dad, I usually get him a restaurant gift card or a renewal to his local daily newspaper subscription for 6 months and a nice bottle of wine. A couple of years ago I pre-paid his cable TV bill for 3 months. For my sisters and their husbands, I buy them restaurant gift cards or a gift card to a home improvement store. For my two oldest nieces who are in their early twenties, they want cash. For my youngest niece who turns 13 in a few months, I consult with my sister as to what to get her. Last year my gift to her was shoes and kneepads for volleyball.

My church always has a toy collection for needy kids, and I like to buy toys for that knowing that these may be the only toys these kids receive.

For me, Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, not to camp out in front of a store for days hoping to snare a deal on a TV or to trample other shoppers at the store entrace at 3:00 a.m. I don't believe Baby Jesus said "Now celebrate the incarnation by maxing out your credit cards." Just my two cents.

[tomwed]

Many Jewish communities in the United States observe the first day of Hanukkah, which marks the start of Hanukkah, also known as Chanukah or Festival of Lights. Hanukkah is an eight-day Jewish observance that remembers the Jewish people's struggle for religious freedom. Hanukkah gifts wrapped and ready to be given. wikipedia

We are not Jewish but when the kids were little I always wanted to do the gift giving over 8 days too. I alway hated when the kids opened a present, took a quick look and then opened another. I can't blame them, I was the same way but still.

[CFrance]

Our small family consists of two boys, a niece and a nephew & their parents. The four adults stopped exchanging gifts when the kids were born. If all 8 of us are together, it's usually gag gifts and Christmas Crackers, a British tradition, around the table, and everyone pitching in to make the meal. The kids get Christmas/birthday checks from their aunt & uncle. For our own kids, we've established funds into which we put $ that we keep for them till they decide on something big that they want or need. One son and wife let it build till they could install hardwood floors. the Australian son and dil have an American bank account we put $ into. I think it helped pay off school loans.

It feels better to do something abstract since we don't really know what they want anymore now that they're off on their own.

The most fun is a trip or helping them when we all go to one spot every couple years for a Christmas family reunion.

[Bonanza]

We all stand in a big circle around the Christmas tree like in Charlie Brown. Then we each take out a fifty dollar bill and pass it to the left. It used to be a twenty when we couldn't afford as much.

So what happens after you all pass it to the left,
or am I correct in that nothing happens?

What am I not getting???

[BarryRX]

We all stand in a big circle around the Christmas tree like in Charlie Brown. Then we each take out a fifty dollar bill and pass it to the left. It used to be a twenty when we couldn't afford as much.

Best idea ever!

[Bonny]

So what happens after you all pass it to the left,
or am I correct in that nothing happens?

What am I not getting???
Years ago, we had a group of friends. We were all young and didn't have any money so for birthdays we would send the birthday person $20.00 in a card. We laughed one time wondering if it was the same $20.00 we kept passing around.
It's like if I give you $20.00, next month for my birthday you give me $20.00, it's kind of a wash.

[graciegirl]

It isn't wrong or out of control if it isn't outside your means or done out of drudging duty. You get out of anything, just what you put in. If your life has changed and there are no small children then you try to find some new magic to make that special day a good thing. Giving gifts is meant to be an act of love, not an act of duty, or responsibility or difficulty.

Most of us have all we need and probably are able to get the things we want and do it...ruining gifting for those who love us. It is very difficult to find a gift for a person over sixty. We were very blessed to have our two grandchildren living close by and knew them very well and knew about UGG boots, and Forever 21 and the other clothes that were too expensive and dumb looking that they really wanted and made them look so in. Once a year to surprise someone is nice, and although I always thought we had everything, Our two college age grandchildren worked on a wonderful scrapbook of pictures of the family over years and added stories and fun remarks. When our oldest became employed in the real world we were gifted with a picture frame that digitally did the same.

Sweetie and I don't exchange gifts, except that cussed man always comes up with a surprise or two and I can't let him get ahead of me. I would give him the world if I could.
.
There is nothing wrong with exchanging gifts if it makes you happy and you can think of just the right thing. How much or little is not important. When we were young we had a Christmas savings account and we were far away from family and would wrap needed things like underwear for the kids and other small items to have a lot of presents under the tree.

If I could be anyone, I would be Santa, or the Magi.

I hope each and every one of you find the 25th of December to be a day full of happy thoughts, and that you get a warm hug from someone who loves you. AND maybe a special surprise or two.

And the same for my Jewish friends too.

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

Having thought about this a little, (Very little actually), I'm thinking that it's not like it once was. Each of my parents had seven siblings and every Christmas we would get a gift from every one of our aunts and uncles plus our grandparents. My parents would buy a gift for every one of their nieces and nephews. I remember their being presents under the tree, behind the tree, and in front of the tree to the point that we had a little path to walk thought the living room. In fact it got to the point where my parents would allow us to open the gifts from our relatives on Christmas Eve so that there would be enough room for the presents from Santa the next morning.

I don't think that families are that big any more nor do we give to all of the nieces and nephews like that today.

[Cedwards38]

I confess. I'm as guilty as the next guy of overspending on Christmas gifts. But just imagine if we all took the money we might spend and used it to make the world a better place. For example, giving to a charity or charities of our choice or just doing random acts of kindness. Just a thought.

[Madelaine Amee]

We don't hold back at Christmas, but it is not necessarily in "gifts" as such. We spend the holiday with our family up North. One daughter-in-law has a huge family and a big home. They invite her family, us and our other son and his family - a lot of mouths to feed, so we always purchase the Turkey/Ham/Roast Beast - whatever she wants. We give money to the grandkids, then we take them shopping for one gift each, and we always seem to find cookies and chocolates and other fattening things that we absolutely need for Christmas! And, the whole family goes out to dinner on us during the time we are there, we vote on where to eat and it is usually a good Chinese restaurant.

I look at it this way - if we lived close by we would be buying and spending on them continually, this way it is a one time big deal and we love it, and they remember it from year to year.

Our boys are all we have, they are going to get it sooner or later, so have it while we can enjoy it with you!

[CFrance]

Years ago, we had a group of friends. We were all young and didn't have any money so for birthdays we would send the birthday person $20.00 in a card. We laughed one time wondering if it was the same $20.00 we kept passing around.
It's like if I give you $20.00, next month for my birthday you give me $20.00, it's kind of a wash.
Our tennis team did that with a giftwrapped bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Wine for years, till it exploded in the trunk of my car and I accused our son of... well, let's just say apologies were in order.

[CFrance]

We don't hold back at Christmas, but it is not necessarily in "gifts" as such. We spend the holiday with our family up North. One daughter-in-law has a huge family and a big home. They invite her family, us and our other son and his family - a lot of mouths to feed, so we always purchase the Turkey/Ham/Roast Beast - whatever she wants. We give money to the grandkids, then we take them shopping for one gift each, and we always seem to find cookies and chocolates and other fattening things that we absolutely need for Christmas! And, the whole family goes out to dinner on us during the time we are there, we vote on where to eat and it is usually a good Chinese restaurant.

I look at it this way - if we lived close by we would be buying and spending on them continually, this way it is a one time big deal and we love it, and they remember it from year to year.

Our boys are all we have, they are going to get it sooner or later, so have it while we can enjoy it with you!
Roast Beast--I love it!:eclipsee_gold_cup:

[Halibut]

A neighbor of ours has five grandchildren that he's rather distant from and only occasionally sees. His two sons are each very successful multimillionaires. Yet he still puts himself through the wringer to send the grandkids holiday and birthday gifts that he has no idea if they like or want and certainly that they don't need. He also expects his sons to send him holiday gifts, and is pretty judgy about the quality and price. Tradition, I guess!

[tomwed]

My best Christmas giving ever was when my kids were 4,6 and 8. I took them to the dollar store. And in a very serious tone I told them they had to each pick out a gift for my folks, thier aunts and uncles and their cousins. At a dollar a piece it wasn't much money. But they picked out a toilet plunger, a rat trap, the gaudiest jewelry you ever saw for grandma, i can't remember them all. No matter what they picked I said it was perfect and just what they wanted. They had to wrap the presents too.

Everyone loved what they picked out.

[Average Guy]

My best Christmas giving ever was when my kids were 4,6 and 8. I took them to the dollar store. And in a very serious tone I told them they had to each pick out a gift for my folks, thier aunts and uncles and their cousins. At a dollar a piece it wasn't much money. But they picked out a toilet plunger, a rat trap, the gaudiest jewelry you ever saw for grandma, i can't remember them all. No matter what they picked I said it was perfect and just what they wanted. They had to wrap the presents too.

Everyone loved what they picked out.

Thanks for sharing. That had me laughing out loud. I guess it is a good example of "it's the thought that counts."

[CFrance]

My best Christmas giving ever was when my kids were 4,6 and 8. I took them to the dollar store. And in a very serious tone I told them they had to each pick out a gift for my folks, thier aunts and uncles and their cousins. At a dollar a piece it wasn't much money. But they picked out a toilet plunger, a rat trap, the gaudiest jewelry you ever saw for grandma, i can't remember them all. No matter what they picked I said it was perfect and just what they wanted. They had to wrap the presents too.

Everyone loved what they picked out.
That is a REALLY great story! That is Story Number One so far.:eclipsee_gold_cup:

[gomoho]

We all stand in a big circle around the Christmas tree like in Charlie Brown. Then we each take out a fifty dollar bill and pass it to the left. It used to be a twenty when we couldn't afford as much.

I'm in the same boat as Bonanza - I don't get it. Is there one $50 bill being passed and when the music stops someone keeps it or just how does this work. Sounds like it could be fun if I understood what was really going on.

[Barefoot]

So what happens after you all pass it to the left,
or am I correct in that nothing happens?
What am I not getting???

I think you're not getting that it's a funny story. :evil6:

[gomoho]

I think you're not getting that it's a funny story. :evil6:

Guess I don't get it either, but sounds like if someone could figure it out it could be fun!

[Bonny]

Guess I don't get it either, but sounds like if someone could figure it out it could be fun!

Years ago, we had a group of friends. We were all young and didn't have any money so for birthdays we would send the birthday person $20.00 in a card. We laughed one time wondering if it was the same $20.00 we kept passing around.
It's like if I give you $20.00, next month for my birthday you give me $20.00, it's kind of a wash.

[billethkid]

How about we try to look at the same concept a little differently?

There are 10 people in a room.
They each owe someone in the room $50.
They form a circle so that the one who owes the money stands to the left of the person who loaned it to them.
The very first one passes his $50 bill to the right and says we are even, here is your $50.
Then that person takes the same $50 and passes it to the one to his right and says here we are even.

This repeats until the same $50 bill winds up back to the very first one.

They have all paid their $50 debt and it cost each nothing!!!!

[asianthree]

We just get gifts for grandchildren. Everyone else has enough

[DianeM]

What exactly is wrong with being happy to buy gifts for people I love? What exactly is wrong with appreciating receiving a gift from someone who loves me? What jury gets to decide when everyone has "enough"? As long as no one is going into deep debt buying gifts, what is wrong with gift giving? Gift giving isn't about "need". It's about delighting someone with something they don't "need".

Remember that the 3 Wisemen brought gifts to the child that lay in the manger.

[Bonny]

I also love giving gifts. Of course now, the money isn't as plentiful as it was when we worked. Always loved seeing the look on my families and friend's faces when I got them something they really wanted or liked.
Our family is smaller now and we have everything we could want. The kids always appreciate money now, but I do buy for my grandson. I love watching him open his gifts !!

[tomwed]

What exactly is wrong with being happy to buy gifts for people I love? What exactly is wrong with appreciating receiving a gift from someone who loves me? What jury gets to decide when everyone has "enough"? As long as no one is going into deep debt buying gifts, what is wrong with gift giving? Gift giving isn't about "need". It's about delighting someone with something they don't "need".

Remember that the 3 Wisemen brought gifts to the child that lay in the manger.

There's nothing wrong with it at all.

[Barefoot]

What exactly is wrong with being happy to buy gifts for people I love? What exactly is wrong with appreciating receiving a gift from someone who loves me? What jury gets to decide when everyone has "enough"? As long as no one is going into deep debt buying gifts, what is wrong with gift giving? Gift giving isn't about "need". It's about delighting someone with something they don't "need

I don't think anyone here said gift giving is Wrong!
Some of the commenters prefer to give a pass to shopping and gift giving.
I personally find it more enjoyable to have a relaxing gift-free holiday season.
But I don't think there is anything wrong with gifting. Not at all. It's just personal preference.

[tomwed]

I miss my folks. My dad would always try to find the perfect gift and loved gizmos. One year he bought all the woman an electric tweezer. The way it worked was that you would put it near an unwanted hair and just like in Alien, when you pushed the button, these prongs would shoot out, grab the hair and painlessly rip it out. The thing is that if you aimed it wrong there was a chance it could grab your eyeball. All the woman quietly said “Oh, thank-you Dad, now who wants to go first?”

[Schaumburger]

A couple of Christmases, my dad bought my mom an edger for the yard and then the next year my dad bought my mom a pruning shears for the bushes. Needless to say he received some funny looks from my mom. But he always had another gift (like jewelry or perfume) for her.

When I got old enough (about age 11), my dad would take me Christmas and birthday gift shopping with him to pick out a gift for her. When I left home to attend college, my younger sisters were recruited for this job.

How many of the guys on TOTV recruit family members to help them shop for the women in their lives? Or do you know your significant other well enough to get them "just what they want?"

[Barefoot]

I miss my folks. My dad would always try to find the perfect gift and loved gizmos. One year he bought all the woman an electric tweezer. The way it worked was that you would put it near an unwanted hair and just like in Alien, when you pushed the button, these prongs would shoot out, grab the hair and painlessly rip it out. The thing is that if you aimed it wrong there was a chance it could grab your eyeball. All the woman quietly said “Oh, thank-you Dad, now who wants to go first?”

:a20:

[graciegirl]

There's nothing wrong with it at all.

You are such a great guy, Tomwed. You are so perceptive and kind and funny too.

AND I feel certain that Santa is gonna be really generous with you.

[CFrance]

A couple of Christmases, my dad bought my mom an edger for the yard and then the next year my dad bought my mom a pruning shears for the bushes. Needless to say he received some funny looks from my mom. But he always had another gift (like jewelry or perfume) for her.

When I got old enough (about age 11), my dad would take me Christmas and birthday gift shopping with him to pick out a gift for her. When I left home to attend college, my younger sisters were recruited for this job.

How many of the guys on TOTV recruit family members to help them shop for the women in their lives? Or do you know your significant other well enough to get them "just what they want?"
One time my husband took our ten-year-old Christmas shopping for me. He ran across a piece of jewelry that cost a good chunk of change and goaded my husband into buying it. It came in a plastic silver Christmas tree ornament that they brought home and hung on our 14-foot tree that was decked to the gills with ornaments. I never even noticed it, and they smirked back and forth for two weeks.

I still wear that ring every single day.

[tomwed]

One year, a long time ago, my brother, a man of means, bought my brother-in-law a digital shoot em up game that you could hold in your hands. My brother in law, Michael was thrilled and said "I'm so glad you didn't get me one of those shi..y little watches with the pac man game on it."

Michael opened the present from my brother before he opened the present from my Dad. Wanna gues what my Dad bought for Michael? :)