Does a child have the right to see a parent's will?

[KittyKat]

My friend is having a problem with one of her children who wants to see her will. She does not want the child to see it. The will was drawn up by a local elder-care attorney. There has been friction with the child and she believes the child just wants to see if he/she is in the will, not to make sure all her interests were taken care of. Her estate is very, very small. I told her that I don't think a child has a right to see a will before the parent's death. It's up to the parent. What are your thoughts?

Thursday 2/12***Clarification: What are your thoughts about YOU and YOUR children re: wills?

[fred53]

My friend is having a problem with one of her children who wants to see her will. She does not want the child to see it. The will was drawn up by a local elder-care attorney. There has been friction with the child and she believes the child just wants to see if he/she is in the will, not to make sure all her interests were taken care of. Her estate is very, very small. I told her that I don't think a child has a right to see a will before the parent's death. It's up to the parent. What are your thoughts?

that it's personal and between the parent and child...in other words...none of my business....

[redwitch]

simply put, wills are personal and not to be shared. However, unless your friend specifically asked for your help, I'd stay out of it, just listen, nod wisely, be sympathetic and stay out of it. Wills, estates and families are a minefield.

[senior citizen]

My friend is having a problem with one of her children who wants to see her will. She does not want the child to see it. The will was drawn up by a local elder-care attorney. There has been friction with the child and she believes the child just wants to see if he/she is in the will, not to make sure all her interests were taken care of. Her estate is very, very small. I told her that I don't think a child has a right to see a will before the parent's death. It's up to the parent. What are your thoughts?


My mother gave all of her children a copy of her will.

Perhaps the adult child can be told the basics of the will, to put her mind at ease....???

If one child is the executor or executrix, there "might" be hard feelings among other siblings.

Wills made in earlier years may no longer represent the true assets left at the time of death of a loved one......(for many reasons.)

I like the below article on how "Inheriting property does not always bring out the best in family members.........."

AVOIDING FAMILY DISPUTES:

""Inheriting property does not always bring out the best in family members. Many people, of course, handle everything smoothly, following a loved one's instructions as much as they can and peacefully agreeing on the rest. But a death can raise long-dormant relationships issues and revive old jealousies and resentments.

Probably the one element most likely to provoke bad feelings is surprise. If everyone in the family knows the broad outlines of how you're planning to leave your property, they may understand your choices. Even if they don't, they will have had some time to get used to the idea and air their concerns. They are likely to respect your choices, and not try to undermine them informally or through a lawsuit.

If, on the other hand, your estate plan takes everyone by surprise, there could be confusion, argument, and possibly court fights. Say, for example, an elderly man leaves the lion's share of his estate to a charity or to a caregiver who recently arrived on the scene, or a woman leaves a valuable piece of art not to her children but favors a niece who wasn't known to be particularly close to her. If the children knew that the niece had a special connection to the artwork, or that the caregiver had performed extraordinary services, they wouldn't be left to wonder at the fairness of the bequests.

Even more common is the hurt caused by an unequal division of assets among offspring. Most parents leave their property to their children more or less equally, but there can be many good reasons for a different plan--perhaps one child has problems handling money, or already received an "advance" on his inheritance in the form of a gift. As long as the children all understand the reasoning, they are likely to accept your decisions. After all, it's your money.""

Everyone needs a will.......a lot of us could help our families by creating simple living trusts also. Here are the tools you need to get your estate planning started by creating these documents & others.



http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/avoiding-family-disputes (http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/avoiding-family-disputes)

PLEASE SEE OTHER SUBJECTS ( re various hyperlinks) Nolo.com

http://www.nolo.com/products/wills-trusts (http://www.nolo.com/products/wills-trusts)

Click hyperlink; then keep scrolling to the bottom for various types of software for wills.......or trusts.




　




　


　








　

[CFrance]

It's not the children's business, and if the will causes them problems after the parents pass away, that is their problem, not the parents' problem. Our small family is loving and close, but the kids don't have a clue how much we have. They just have a book with all the info they need to go find out these things after we're gone. And power of attorney.

[DougB]

My friend is having a problem with one of her children who wants to see her will. She does not want the child to see it. The will was drawn up by a local elder-care attorney. There has been friction with the child and she believes the child just wants to see if he/she is in the will, not to make sure all her interests were taken care of. Her estate is very, very small. I told her that I don't think a child has a right to see a will before the parent's death. It's up to the parent. What are your thoughts?

Guess everyone will see it eventually.

[kstew43]

unless the parent has some sort of dementia, why would the children care about the will, and even if.....

I think the child may want to make sure they get there fair share.....?

Sad form of grown children thinking the parents owe them, they don't....just another form of entitlement issues....

[graciegirl]

unless the parent has some sort of dementia, why would the children care about the will, and even if.....

I think the child may want to make sure they get there fair share.....?

Sad form of grown children thinking the parents owe them, they don't....just another form of entitlement issues....

I agree.

[KayakerNC]

unless the parent has some sort of dementia, why would the children care about the will, and even if.....

I think the child may want to make sure they get there fair share.....?

Sad form of grown children thinking the parents owe them, they don't....just another form of entitlement issues....

Financial abuse of an elderly person is quite common. If someone has coerced a senior into making radical changes in their Will or other financial documents, a child would certainly want to know.
The child may be acting in the best interests of the parent...but I would avoid getting in the middle of a parent/child dispute.

[Sandtrap328]

Financial abuse of an elderly person is quite common. If someone has coerced a senior into making radical changes in their Will or other financial documents, a child would certainly want to know.
The child may be acting in the best interests of the parent...but I would avoid getting in the middle of a parent/child dispute.

If the children have a valid reason to believe that their parent's will may have been influenced by some charleton like some of those television ministers to leave all their money to them - yes, an executive decision can and should be made to review the will with all the children, parents, and attorney present.

[billethkid]

Short answer? NO!

The problem is we are being asked to provide an opinion with limited, insufficient information to do so.

Without knowing why it is the child is insisting, we can only speculate based on how we interpret what has been presented.

[TrudyM]

However I was told that if you want to leave any relative out that you should leave them $1 so it is clear that they were not to be included or it can be contested.

[manaboutown]

However I was told that if you want to leave any relative out that you should leave them $1 so it is clear that they were not to be included or it can be contested.

You are are perhaps referring to a pretermitted heir situation. Pretermitted heirs legal definition of Pretermitted heirs (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Pretermitted+heirs)

The OP's question almost reads like a law school exam question. There are so, so many possible situational variations that no one answer suffices.

My answer would be no...unless......

[2BNTV]

I think parents should know their children and their finances well enough to make this individual determination, "themselves".

In a family of several children, the parent should have one child they know they can trust and follow the wishes of a will and be the executor. If the will is made out in an unbalance fashion, there will trouble amongst the siblings, all dependent on their version of, "what is fair, and equitable".

When it's comes to money, people will do irrational things especially if they spend almost all of their money and start to look for someone to bail them out, of their financial mess.

Remember:
1. When you are small, you play together.
2. When you are teenagers, you may double date.
3. After you get married, the cousins will play together.
4. As you mature and disagree with some of your siblings lifestyle and or money expenditures.
5. When the parents pass, the stuff hits the fan with "who gets what", and "what I deserve".

This is not true of every family but the majority. IMHO

Money does funny things to some people's minds. The love of money is the root of all evil. I've known some people who were very well off and still argued, and disagreed with their siblings.

Solution is to have one child or die broke. IMHO

[rubicon]

btk I agree.

My siblings and I instinctively worked out the estate with no hurt feelings.

My wife comes from a large family and she is the oldest daughter. My mother in law sat her down after my father in law died and instructed on what she wished giving my wife money she put aside to hold in an interest bearing account. When my mother in law passed my wife executed her wishes providing money to those her mother designated would be in greater need.

As a personal preference I choose not to get involved in the financial and personal manners of people and that included my in-laws that was my wife's to do.

[GatorFan]

Very sad. My daughter tells me I owe her nothing but she owes me lots.

[KittyKat]

Very good answers, all. Sorry I didn't clarify that I wondered how YOU are handling this issue. Luckily, I only have 1 daughter.

[KittyKat]

You are are perhaps referring to a pretermitted heir situation. Pretermitted heirs legal definition of Pretermitted heirs (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Pretermitted+heirs)

The OP's question almost reads like a law school exam question. There are so, so many possible situational variations that no one answer suffices.

My answer would be no...unless......

Thank you for the link. It says you need to say "I leave nothing to my son, George." I will let my friend know. Wonder why the lawyer didn't draw the will up this way? The link said nothing about Florida law.

[patfla06]

It's not the children's business, and if the will causes them problems after the parents pass away, that is their problem, not the parents' problem. Our small family is loving and close, but the kids don't have a clue how much we have. They just have a book with all the info they need to go find out these things after we're gone. And power of attorney.

I have to agree!

[manaboutown]

Thank you for the link. It says you need to say "I leave nothing to my son, George." I will let my friend know. Wonder why the lawyer didn't draw the will up this way? The link said nothing about Florida law.

If this lady is seeking to disinherit one of her children an experienced Florida estate planning attorney will know how to handle it in Florida. Unfortunately these sorts of difficulties arise all too frequently.

[mtdjed]

Right, no. But as a parent, why not if all is well.

Sent ours to both sons showing trust.

[jblum315]

A will does not disclose how much the estate is worth. It simply directs the distribution of the estate. After all, there might be many changes between the time the will is signed and the time of death

[perrjojo]

Looks like I disagree with the majority. Well, they may not have a "right" to see the will but I can't imagine why your last wishes would be kept secret. I would not want my last act to cause a rift between my children. When we keep secrets , we cause problems. Best to deal with it when alive. My parents gave each of us copies of their will and we gave copies of our will to our children. Why would you need to keep secrets unless your ere yor really comfortable with what is in your will and know it will cause a problem?

[Madelaine Amee]

Looks like I disagree with the majority. Well, they may not have a "right" to see the will but I can't imagine why your last wishes would be kept secret. I would not want my last act to cause a rift between my children. When we keep secrets , we cause problems. Best to deal with it when alive. My parents gave each of us copies of their will and we gave copies of our will to our children. Why would you need to keep secrets unless your ere yor really comfortable with what is in your will and know it will cause a problem?

Us too - two children have copies of everything they will need when we pass (which, hopefully, will be a good long time). However, the last thing I want is for them to be trying to find the necessary paperwork to settle our estate. We have a Trust, everything gets divided right down the middle half to this one and half to that one - and that is never going to change.

Unfortunately, we had a nasty spiteful reading of the will when my grandmother passed. She had one child who got absolutely zero, and five grandchildren who each got different amounts. It amazes me that people think they can actually use a will to control matters after they are dead and gone. That will never happen in our family.

[Walter123]

No, they don't have a right. They can see it if the parents want them too.

[billethkid]

I don't view the wills as secret any more than I do my bank accounts secret.
There are some things that are just not anybody elses business but the owners.

Those who do want to share that is an individual choice. Not one I view as an action of trust or not or secret or not.

Over the years I have been witness to some of the best behaved (what ever that means) families get into nasty dialogue over what was left to whom, etc. Even the ones split down the middle or even distibution is no assurance of all parties being content because there will always be those who figured differently...right or wrong does not seem to matter.

When it comes to cars and homes and other stuff....there will always be the discussion whether to keep or not. And if one or some want the money they want to sell and others may not want to.....

It is complicated and we can all only do what we have done all these years....what we think is best.

I always viewed open discussions before one passes regarding who gets what as sort of ghoulish.

I know of one family that has a second home that the principals want to be kept in the family and not sold. They have a clause that allows the property to be sold and in that event all the procedes will go to the church!!!!!

There is no pleasing all way to do it......just different views of how to do it.

[applesoffh]

I worked for a wills and estate attorney in NYC. The original, signed and witnessed will went into a vault at the bank, the attorney kept a conformed copy, the person requesting the will got a conformed copy and, if requested by the person, a conformed copy was sent to the executor/trix/administrator. That's it. Once the will was witnessed and signed by all, it becomes a valid will. Anyone making a copy of the original will could ivalidate it simply by removing the staples. It is serious business. If folks are concerned about being taken advantage of, they can have the will reviewed by a trusted third party who has no claim to any part of the estate, In New York State, a person with a claim to an estate cannot witness a will, for obvious reasons. Once wills are submitted for probate (no matter the size of the estate) it becomes a matter of public record. Not all wills are submitted for probate. That said, the will's executor should also know where all the papers relating to the deceased are...burial plot, final wishes, etc. There should also be a Power of Attorney and Living Will done long before it is needed. In a perfect world, all the children should have knowledge of the parents' final wishes. Alas, it is not a perfect world.

[KittyKat]

If this lady is seeking to disinherit one of her children an experienced Florida estate planning attorney will know how to handle it in Florida. Unfortunately these sorts of difficulties arise all too frequently.

My friend went to her lawyer today. The clause was near the beginning of the will, not listed in the part where "who gets what %" is. The lawyer told her not to worry, that she has no obligation to let this child see it.

[manaboutown]

My friend went to her lawyer today. The clause was near the beginning of the will, not listed in the part where "who gets what %" is. The lawyer told her not to worry, that she has no obligation to let this child see it.

Glad to hear it got resolved by her obtaining legal guidance from a knowledgable attorney.