Give a favorite memory of your father in honor of Father's Day.

[mcelheny]

I worked side by side with my father on his farm. He loved nature and he would try to teach me everything he knew. I love nature because of this.
I was lucky to have a Dad who loved me very much.

Dad died in 1985 but I wish he could be here today to see how good life turned out for me and his granddaughter.

[chelsea24]

I can't say enough about my father. He was my best friend. He was the kindest, most giving man on the planet. If he only had a dollar to his name, he'd give it to the needy. His nickname was Fast Eddie. Every neighbor knew and loved him. And every age group. He was a bricklayer and a damned good one. He was all of my girlfriends "second" father, but my boyfriend's worst nightmare. LOL He'd be the one outside, even in his 80's, and against my wishes, shoveling a neighbor's car out of the snowbanks of Chicago. He also owned a pub that served lunches and if you could not afford it, it was on the house. (Not much of business man, but in the highest sense of the word, a good man.)

He was honest as the day is long. We lived in Cicero, which was just a tad corrupt. Once when my dad's tavern was robbed, the police came (they hung out there and loved my father) and several said, "Hey, Eddie, didn't you have two or three color TV's?" Trying to get him to claim more than was stolen for the insurance. Of course, he didn't. There wasn't a dishonest bone in his body.

He would take all of my friends to the Brookfield Zoo or Kiddieland or a museum every Sunday!
My mom was Bohemian, so he'd tease her and say I was all Irish. And ever since I could walk, my dad and I would spend St. Patrick's day together, just the two of us. In fact, the last day I saw my father alive (9 years ago) it was on a St. Patrick's Day.

In the last years of his life, he got to know and love vetman, my husband. Stephen was so good to my dad, it makes me cry just to think of them together. My husband is about as close to filling my dad's shoes as possible. But no one can ever really fill your dad's shoes.

I am just truly blessed to have and have had the two of the greatest men around. They are my heros. Sorry for rambling, it's a very sentimental day for me.

Happy Father's Day.

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Chel in so many ways your Dad sounds like mine. I did not think there could be another person in the world like him. I understand completely what you mean and how you feel.

I think one of the most important lessons my Dad gave to me was his philosophy on life. In many ways it is like the 10 Commandments. Because of one of his beliefs (which he did not waver from) "in do unto others as you want others to do unto you" - he and my mother were both threatened. This did not stop either of them from following through on their beliefs.

One of the hardest conversations, for me, was when we were talking about him dying. I did not want to think about that day at all. Today I am grateful that we did.

He taught me many valuable lessons in life that I have passed unto my children.

He died 18 years ago, my Mother died about 12 days before him.

I need to end here and sit quietly with my thoughts and memories.

Thank you for starting this thread.

HB

[redwitch]

My father was truly my hero. I worshipped the ground he walked on and I still do. He died when I was 12 years at the very young age of 36. He gave me morality. My sense of right and wrong. He taught me to judge a person by their words and actions, not their race (pretty impressive for a Kentucky hillbilly who was taught prejudice from the cradle). He taught me that being uneducated was not sinful but refusing to learn was shameful. He taught me that being afraid was not shameful but that letting that fear rule my life was unforgiveable. He constantly reminded me that the only thing of value I would ever own was my word. He taught me that as long as I could look myself in the mirror at the end of a day, I had succeeded.

My father, like many of yours, was generous to a fault. He was also careful to give in a way that left the other knowing he'd done Dad a favor by taking whatever it was. He accepted people as they were -- it didn't matter what your rank or station in life was, it didn't matter what your skin color or religion was, it didn't matter if your sexual preference was male, female or whatever. He accepted you as you were. He only asked that you not harm another out of cruelty, vindictiveness or pettiness.

He quit school to join the Army. While traveling around the world with two kids and a wife and an incredibly trying job, he managed to not only get his high school diploma but ended with a Ph.D. in philosophy. He worked up (and down) the ranks. He should have died a major but his C.O. pulled some strings and he ended dying a full bird. He was comfortable at a formal embassy dinner. He was just as comfortable brewing up some shine and sharing it with his men.

He had his flaws: an incredible fear of needles; he had a temper that would put any redhead to shame; he could drink a fish under the table; my mother had been known to rap him on the head more than once for cursing in front of the kids; he could be pigheaded and didn't have the sense to back down from a fight -- whether the neighborhood bully or the general he felt was an "unmitigated idiot who didn't know his head from his arse".

This kind, gentle, strong man was my father. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to brag about him. I keep hoping that one day I will be half the person he was.

[colleenj]

I lost my dad 2 1/2 years ago but I was oh so blessed to have him for as long as I did. He taught me to believe in myself, depend on myself but always be willing to give to others, if you had the opportunity to help someone else- do it, work hard, be loyal, and that family comes first.
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of him reading to me every night. He loved to read and taught me to love books as much as he did. I still think of him (and thank him) when I read every night. Not a day goes by when I don't miss him but I have fond memories and laugh at how much I have become like him (especially when I hear myself say something he always said!).

[Rokinronda]

This is so hard. My 1st Fathers Day without my Dad. My parents divorced when I was 13, but Dad was always around. My mom and dad remained very good friends. Every Sunday, Dad would come and take us to the roller skating rink. After, we would have the best italian food at his Aunties home. I don't remember him ever being angry. He called me darlin'. Always, always smiling and always full of life. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, quickly go the years.......we danced together to that Fiddler on the Roof song at my wedding. The years did go so swiftly. He threatened Ed that he would break his knees if he ever hurt me in any way. (his italian roots showed often) Threats were never needed. Ed adored me and respected and loved my Dad. It has been 6 months of Sundays without hearing his voice, "Hi Darlin'!!!" How are you? How is Ed? And that gorgeous great granddaughter of mine?" How are you, Dad?? His answer, "don't worry about me, hon, I'm as strong as a bull!" He was! Dad visited The Villages and we danced at KB's for hours!! Dad was amazed and loved TV and was to visit again last Dec.. He passed away suddenly Nov. 14th. Thankfully, I was in RI in August and we embraced so lovingly before my departure. Not knowing it would be our last hug. I miss him immensely, but know I have a dancing, smiling, loving daddy angel watching over me. Smiling, telling me, don't worry darlin', I am always with you!! He is on my mind, and in my heart every moment. I miss him so much! Happy 1st Fathers Day in heaven, Dad! Dance with the angels knowing we will dance together again..............now I will try to stop sobbing! Mc, my dad was a Mc, I am a Mc, also. Dad was known as Johnny Mac. Thanks for this post!!!!

[nONIE]

MC,

Wonderful topic to start in view of Fathers day this Sunday.

My dad was a polish immigrant. He believed in hard work and sacrificed for his family, we always came first. He believed in the golden rule and always lived by it and tried to teach his children to live by it(altho we were little brats).
He was taught the trade of tailoring in Poland and was a darn good one. He made all of our winter coats every winter with pride and made sure they were very warm to keep the people he loved warm as we walked everywhere in those days. (did not have a car).

I remember him spoon feeding my aunt (who lived with us) on her death bed until she took her last breath. then he broke down and cried like a baby without shame.

He was one of the most wonderful men I have ever known, and I honor him with this rememberence today. Love you so much dad, you will forever remain in my heart. :'(

[sschuler1]

You are all making me cry so much, that I decided to tell a funny story about my dad. Dad was always playing practical jokes on my mom, and we loved it when he would get us involved in the prank. One day he decided to splurge and bought a few lobsters at the grocery store for dinner. But he couldn't resist scaring my mom with them first. So he decided to put them in the crisper drawer in the refrigerator so that when she opened the drawer they would be clawing to get out! Well, it took four days for my mother to get around to opening that drawer. I remember my dad feeding lettuce to the lobsters to try to keep them alive. Those were some angry lobsters when she opened that drawer! I'm sure you can imagine the scream....

[KathieI]

I am a truly lucky person. Not only do I have memories, I still have him with us on this planet.

Most of you know, Dad is moving with me to TV, hopefully soon. He is 92 years old on July 23 and is almost totally blind. But, he's looking for a dancing partner to do the lindy hop at the squares, so if I can have any volunteers, please pm me. He is adorable and fun loving, actually quite a tease and loves women!! The other day as we were packing his stuff, he said, "daughter, don't forget to pack my golf clubs???" :dontknow:

Pop, your blind!! ??? We'll, he says, maybe someone will watch my ball for me cause I can't see that far!! What an attitude, that's been the reason for his staying power. He's looking forward to hanging out with some of you "young" guys" to watch football and golf on TV and have a beer at a Sports Bar. You'll see him at the squares dancing his fool head off. Don't know how he does it, but I hope it passes on to myself and my brother.

God Bless you Dad. Your my best friend, and I love you. Kathie

SS, that is a funny story!! Thanks,

[mcelheny]

Wow -These are incredible memorials to our beloved fathers! :bigthumbsup:

[Rokinronda]

Thanks to you Mc!!!! Great topic. To all men, Happy Fathers Day. If you aren't a DAD, you are an Uncle, brother, or son and all men should be honored and thanked. Happy Man Day!!

[barb1191]

Soooo many wonderful memories of my Dad. From reading other posts, it sounds as though my Dad was your Dad, as well. LOL I feel that there's such a special closeness between fathers and daughters instinctively inherent in us all gals.

I was so very fortunate to have a loving, devoted dad who always was there for his family who adored him. I never once recall my Dad ever speak a harsh word about anybody. He lived by that golden rule as well...."do unto others...." I recall my Dad as a brilliant man who always had answers to my questions. He was a soft-spoken man with a great sense of humor and enjoyed writing parodies and poems. He loved to cook and was a great cook. We would tease Dad about cooking and he replied with...."and who are your best chefs?" Of course, at that time the answer was that men were.

Dad has been gone for many years now and his loving memory fills my heart with love.

barb

[Taltarzac]

Well, I suppose thanks are in order for my Dad's putting up with me as I pursue my dream of arming survivors of crimes with access to practical information from outside the various librarianship professions despite my 4 degrees (JD, MA, BA, BA) and the various recognitions I have received for pushing this cause since 1992 like 24 nominations to different Marquis Who's Who publications. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquis_Who's_Who I am listed in 14 of these various Marquis Who's Who editions of different publications.

I cannot think of very many parents who would sacrifice so much for one of their son's seeming very unpractical dreams of making survivors of crimes recovery possibly quicker here in the United States by ironically making practical information more accessible to victims of crimes. https://www.talkofthevillages.com/smf/index.php/topic,1199.msg10959.html#msg10959

I use my Marquis Who's Who in the World 12th Ed., 1995 volume, for instance, to prop up my head of my bed because of my acid reflex.

I have a lot of found memories as these are still going on. I do not think I would have even had a bed to sleep on without the help of my parents in this fight of have been engaged in since 1991 to help crime victims in various US states.

[jojo]

Thanks for a great topic and the opportunity for reflection. My father passed away five years ago at the age of 91. He was riding his bicycle up to a month before he died. He smoked a pipe and loved to talk with anybody he would meet. I was an only child and so got much encouragement from my mother and father. Kathie, we are moving to The Villages with my 95-year old mother who is 65 in physical and mental years. Maybe she should meet your Dad.

[Frangyomory]

My father was my hero. There were three of us kids. My older sister, myself and my younger brother who passed away in 2007. After dad died, we talked about what he meant to us and each of us thought we were his favorite! Amazing how he made each of us feel special.

He was a man who only had a grade school education. He was born in 1913 and because his dad left his mother with five young boys, they spent some years in a Catholic orphanage. This left an imprint on dad and family was everything to him. The boys got out of the orphanage one by one and found their mom and each other and became a family once again. He was 27 and my mom was 21 when they married.

My dad was a doorman and a building superintendent and always had two jobs but made sure that we all had the best education possible. We didn't have everything we wanted but we had everything we needed. Because he was concerned about the NYC public schools, he worked extra hours to pay tuition to enroll us in a Catholic school in grade school and then in high school. That was important to him.

He didn't believe in credit. He saved for anything he needed to buy. I loved him so very much and we all knew he loved us. We lost him at the age of 61, in fact, one week before his 62nd birthday in 1975. My mother lived until 2004 but a day never went by that she and we didn't miss him.

This man with no high school education did all the family's income taxes every year. He helped us kids with our homework and always had the right answers. He wouldn't think of laying a hand on us kids. He couldn't hit us because of the way his father treated him and his greatest fear was that his children would not love him.

Yes, my dad was and will always be my hero. I know he is in heaven because people like him have special places in heaven and he was there to meet my mom when she joined him. Does not matter how long it has been, I miss him and I hope that one day we will all be together in heaven once again.

[mcelheny]

Great posts everyone!
I sure am doing alot of crying but it is because we had and have so many wonderful DADS!

[Happy62]

I HAVE MANY GREAT MEMORIES OF MY DAD.... HE WAS A DENTIST AND DID KIDS WORK FOR FREE BECAUSE HE DID NOT WANT THEM TO GO WITHOUT. HE TAUGHT ME TO PLAY GOLF, AND ALLOWED ME TO TAKE STUFF APART TO SEE WHAT MADE IT WORK, EVEN IF SOMETIMES I COULD NO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER. HE LOVED ANIMALS AND WE ALWAYS HAD A STRANGE THING OR TWO ( FOX, RACOON, MONKEY, DUCKS, RABBITS ) HE WAS THE BEST GRANDPA THERE EVER WAS.... HE DIED OF A MASIVE HEART ATTACK AT AGE 57.

HE LEFT ME WITH ONE MANTRA THAT I HAVE USED ALL MY LIFE.......

"ANYTHING WORTH DOING, IS WORTH DOING RIGHT"

[Talk Host]

There are thousands of memories of my father, but one comes to mind as being very pleasing to me.

My dad was a labor negotiator for National Steel Corporation. He was very highly respected but always felt that he was held back from a higher position with the company because he was a Slovak and a Catholic in a time when that was not the best situation. He was very likely correct.

The one story that pleases me, occurred when he was about 85 years old. I was hosting a morning radio show in upstate New York. He was visiting us from our family home in Weirton, West Virginia. My mother had died a few years before and Dad was pretty lonesome and almost depressed. On his last morning with us, I asked him to come in and be a guest on my morning show for the entire 4 hours. He reluctantly agreed. He talked about his life growing up with 8 brothers and sisters in a coal mining town in Ohio. Working for Weirton Steel and going up through the ranks from clerk to assistant director of labor relations. He talked about our family and the things we did. He was really quite good.

We left the studio and went straight to the airport for his trip back to Pittsburgh. As soon as he got home, he called me to tell this story. ".....I sat down on the airplane next to a businessman from IBM. He said, "....The guy struck up a conversation with me and said that he had heard the most interesting radio program this morning. He said that he was listening to a local station and that the host had his father on as a guest and that it was one of the most interesting radio shows he had ever heard."

Well, I don't have to tell the rest of the story. My dad was just absolutely beside himself with pride. I could not have planned for anything better.

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o69/talkofthevillages/dadinoffice.jpg

[KathieI]

Jan, that is a wonderful story. I love it!!

By popular demand, I'm putting my father's picture back in place of mine.... oh dear, am I THAT bad or is he THAT good?? ::)

[nONIE]

Thanks Kath,
I want to concentrate on the man who is going to make all my dreams come true!!! LOL LOL. Seriously, he looks like a sweetheart. Cant wait to meet him. ;)

[Rokinronda]

Nonie, :realmad: I have 1st dibs, ask Kath!! But I will share........ ;) :hot: :hot: :hot: 040

[nONIE]

HMMMMM! So when did this all come about? Well ok, but Kathie told me about a little habit he has(cant mention) and I promised I would be there for his little fix. LOL LOL

[RCT]

Character. My Father had it, and was one.
My memories are vast. Something that happened so often, but was still special every time, was when he'd call home from his office, and say "Get your clubs ready, Ronnie, I am leaving work early" Now, from Hershey Pa., to Camp Hill, just outside Harrisburg, was about a 25 minute commute, but in this youngsters mind, it took forever for him to get home. Our times on the course, were about so much more than golf. He taught me the correlation between life and golf, which has always been talked about. The highs, the lows. Forget the last thing, can't change it. Learn from it, but can't change it.
Now, about the character that he was. My parents 30th wedding anniversary, he got up at 3AM, poured water on my Mother in bed, and yelled 'FIRE!!!". Now, my mother had a very good sense of humor, she did marry a minister, but it took her a couple of days to truely see the hillarity of this particular prank. In defense of my Father, though he did used to say, "A Irish Presbyterian minister, obviously is different!!"
Here's to you, Dad, and hope you know, that the lessons you and Mom taught me, are USUALLY adhered to.

Love you and miss you,

Ronnie

[KathieI]

1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl 1rnfl

Nonie, LMAO!! I can't believe you, I'm so glad you didn't blurt out his bad habit!!

You really are a crazy woman!!

[Blondie]

These stories are wonderful---I have happy tears running down my cheeks.
Chels, my Dad was also called Fast Eddie--my husband gave him that nickname. Actually, that name didn't seem to fit him--don't know why Jim dubbed him that. He was an extremely intelligence man, but about as uptight as a man could be. I was one of 4 girls and we never saw him come out of the bedroom without having showered and shaved. I never even saw him in his undershirt.
He was really mad at my Jim b/c we eloped- he would never blame me for eloping, only Jim --it was 10 years before he would have a civil conversation with Jim---then they became much closer---probably b/c the men my sisters married made Jim look like a prince--that's what jim said anyway.
My Mom died when she was 55 ---she had a long bone break in her leg and threw an embolism. My Dad was devasted and did mellow after that somewhat. What I remember so vividly was, when our son Jimmie was killed in a boating accident when he was 14, my Dad cried ---he felt so helpless b/c his way of loving us and fixing things had always been to buy us "things," and "things" could never take this pain away.
He died in a house fire when he was 63. I loved my Dad like crazy, and he loved me--and that I am sure of. I pray every day for him, and I know he watches over me.

Great subject, Thanx, Blondie

Happy Father's Day Dad

[Talk Host]

BTW,

I was born on Father's Day, June 15th, 1947.

JLK

[chelsea24]

Awww Blondie, that was such a great post. You've suffered many loses. Can't wait till you return, I want to give you a big hug. You're such a nice lady. Now it's time to dance, dance, dance!

Ronnie: You're father sounds like a hoot! And no wonder you love golf so much! It must always bring back those special memories.

What a wonderful event Jan. I don't believe in coincidences so I know your Dad was truly meant to have a very special day.

And Kathie! I told you I fall madly in love with older men, especially Italian, as I had so many "second" fathers with my friend's dads. So, it looks like I'm going to have to fight Nonie and Ronda both for his attention! What a handsome guy! :bigthumbsup: Tell him we're standing in line and to get his little Mostaccioli butt down here!

[F16 1UB]

The oh so many fishing trips. I was 9 and we went to Canada fishing. The bite was terrible during the day so we went out at night. The first night after dark the northern lights were out. The brighter they got the better the smallmouth bass would bite. We had a blast. I lost Dad in May of 94. I think of him daily.

F16

[Donna]

Fathers Day is a day to say thank you for all the great memories, past and present..All the love given to us as children..

My dad..One in a million..As children, he would take my brother Mark and I horseback riding every weekend..He adored my mother so much, and made our lives so happy..

He was a very religious man, every Sunday he woke us up for 9:00 Mass..OMG did he annoy us to no end..LOL

I would always have a stomach ache and Mark had a headache..Did that work?? No, his words were if you have time for your friends, you have time for God..Well, needless to say, Mark and I went to church..

He was a Trial Attorney in NY, and we often went to court with him, he would take us into the Judges chambers..That was so impressive!

That was such a thrill..It was so impressive to see him try a case..His nick name in the court room was Little Caesar..

I always went to his office with him, and boy was I proud..He was the apple of my eye..

He was a Marine, 1st Marine Division Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima..He was a Japanese Translator too..

Two Purple Hearts and a Presidential Citation..He spoke so often about the war and the friends he lost..He always referred those who died, as "The Hero's."

I have a place reserved just for him in my heart, his heart was made of gold, so thoughtful, loving, and a friend above all else..

In my life, he will always be a part...

My Dad was many things, he was loving and kind..Very often he knew exactly what was on my mind..

He was someone who listened, suggested and defended, my Dad was one of my very best friends..

He was proud of our triumphs, he was patient and strong..

As each year passed I was always so proud, and always thanked God for giving me my Dad!

Today he is not with me, he died in 1983..I find myself savoring his words,

I will always remember what he taught me,

I realize, he will always be with me.

Thanks Dad, for always being there...

I love you..

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l23/dazzlejunction/greetings/father/father_7.gif (http://www.dazzlejunction.com/)

[mcelheny]

May the spirit of love surround everybody today, especially our fathers both past and present.
I hope even more tell stories of their fathers.
Happy father's Day!

[nONIE]

Donna, Just beautiful!

I can feel the pride in your words.

I want to wish all the DADS,grandpas,Uncles, brothers,and all the men in this forum who ever had a part in shaping a childs life a VERY HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

I dont think its ever too late to let the special dads in our lives know how much we love them and appriciate them even if they are no longer with us . My personal belief is they do hear us and they do know how we feel.

[mcelheny]

bump

[SteveZ]

...A good man who gave me a work ethic and a sense of honor - two of the most important things I've ever received. He taught me that you could be tough without being vicious.

I just got back to TV two days ago (still spliltting time between here and DC) and will visit him where he rests at the Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell.

[ouma1938]

My Dad was a very tough man but a loving one. I am very much like him. He got along with everyone and knew no strangers. He had about the quivalent of a 3rd grade education having left his home Lithuania when he was 7 (in 1907) and walked across Europe with his family to escape the pogroms in Eastern Europe. They caught the first boat they could, which was going to South Africa, and once there he had to work to help support the family. Despite all that he educated himself and became a pretty successful businessman. It took me years and years to fully understand and appreciate him and I am very grateful that I was able to do it before he died in 1969. I miss him more and more every day and I take comfort from knowing that he knows that I love him and thank him and know he was strict with me because he saw himself in me and knew I needed a strong guiding hand, as he had needed. (My Mom was an old softie! lol) Dad all I am and have done is because you taught me the honestly, love, and self discipline are virtues and self pity, dishonesty, and laziness are to be avoided at all costs. I will always love you and always miss you.

[Muncle]

A little background -- 1959, my dad was a cop, Chief of Detectives and head of narcotics in KC at a time when the only people who did drugs were drummers in jazz bands, at least in my mind. One his duties was to give speeches about the evils of narcotics to various civic groups. We lived in St. Peter's parish, a fairly large area that included a diversity of income groups. We were definitely toward the bottom. During the winter, the parish Holy Name Society had donated warm-up suits to our grade school basketball team. The whole team had to attend the next meeting wearing the warm-ups to thank them. And to my chagrin and total embarrassment, I discovered that dad was to give his narcotics spiel at that meeting.

Now understand, I was a 13 year old know everything. My dad was a high school dropout (something about a fistfight with a Christian Brother) and had, in my opinion, atrocious grammar and a lousy vocabulary. He talked like a stereotypical 30's movie cop. My friends' fathers would all be there, doctors, lawyers, business men. And I knew Dad's "We ain't got no", "he weren't" and "don't have none" expressions were going to be the laughing stock of the school. Not to mention the occasional profanity, okay more than occasional.

We thanked the guys for the jerseys and Dad gave his speech. He showed his case of dope and related implements. He showed his picture of the 500 lb man who hid his stuff taped to the underside of his fat layers. He talked about all the gandies dying on the streets. He admitted that there were cured heroin addicts, all out at St. Mary's cemetery. My gawd was I embarrassed.

Following the speech, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I planned to rush to the front, pack Dad's case, and get him on the road. Imagine my shock when I couldn't get to the front. When questions finally ended, I couldn't get near the head table. All those doctors, lawyers, and businessmen were crowding around the dais, trying to talk to my Dad just a little longer. One gentleman, the father of a friend, stopped me and said, "It never dawned on me that you were John's boy. He's got to be one the best speakers I've ever heard. You must be very proud." What the hell could I say? I guess I did get a bit smarter and grow up a bit more mature than night.

[samhass]

Great story, Muncle. Thanks for sharing. I didn't know it all until I was 17. :)

[mcelheny]

I feel like I know everybody a little bit better. Thanks for sharing and keep the memories coming! Thanks again!

[ouma1938]

Thank you mc for starting the thread. It was a great idea and a wonderful Father's Day thread to get involved in.

[redwitch]

Another thanks, mc. I've spent all weekend thinking of my father, sometimes with tears but always with a warm feeling in my heart. So many memories have flooded back of both of my parents and the wonderful gifts they gave me. I owe you a huge hug (at the very least) when you get back down here.

[mcelheny]

Red and ouma,
Thanks to you for sharing! :)

[renielarson]

Muncle

Heartwarming story...a wonderful memory to have!

[Lil Dancer]

Its funny the way kids think. When I was younger I was embarrased about my father. He was a musician and a bohemian type of person, although he was a good provider and worked 3 jobs for as long as I can remember to take care of the family. We lived in a factory neighborhood where all the other dads worked at Kodak. I felt like a misfit because my father didn't work at the factory. Of course now that I'm grown, I see what special qualities he had, how he was a free thinker and a creative and artistic person, and how I inheritied those qualities from him and my mother, and I'm grateful. Thanks Mcheleny, for helping us remember. Great topic.

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Hi All,

I have reread all the posts and the first thought that came to my mind was how lucky we all are to have such positive memory of our Fathers.

Not everyone is as fortunate as we are.

HB

[mcelheny]

I hope I get to meet everybody on here because these memories give me a little insight into people's lives.
HB- you are so right. The longer I taught, the more and more I saw children with absent fathers. :'(

[renielarson]

Lil Dancer

I was avoiding this thread because I also was very embarrassed about my dad. He was a junior high school business, math, typing teacher. He walked to the beat of a different drum. He wasn't concerned about style, being accepted by students, or fitting any mold. He was just himself and very happy who he was.

He wore big wide ties when skinnier ones were more fashionable. In fact, I don't think he ever wore a skinny tie in his life. Junior high kids can be so cruel. They wrote him nasty notes about the way he dressed. I never thought he dressed that badly...he wore slacks, dress shirt and tie to work every day. But the kids focused on his wide ties.

What made me so embarrassed was that his junior high kids and the junior high I went too all joined together in one high school. When classmates found out that I was his daughter, all they could talk about were his ties and how out of fashion he was. They actually told me that generations are not always indicative of previous generations and I had out-shined him by miles....based solely on those darn ties he wore!

Isn't it sad that teenagers focus on such petty things when judging others? All I know is that I was so embarrassed because I was young, naive, and still developing into the person I am today.

Now, as I look back, I appreciate his nonconformity. He definitely had a mind of his own and I think I'm a lot like him.

Ask Susan...I wear mainly skorts...I don't care. She once asked me if that is all I wore. Laughing, I love her soul! Guess I can compare my skorts to my dad's ties.

Let me add my favorite memory...5th birthday...dad kneeling on one knee and sitting me on the other knee then singing "Happy Birthday" to me. That was special! It doesn't take a lot to make me happy or to stamp a memory in my mind.

[Lil Dancer]

Lil Dancer

I was avoiding this thread because I also was very embarrassed about my dad. He was a junior high school business, math, typing teacher. He walked to the beat of a different drum. He wasn't concerned about style, being accepted by students, or fitting any mold. He was just himself and very happy who he was.

He wore big wide ties when skinnier ones were more fashionable. In fact, I don't think he ever wore a skinny tie in his life. Junior high kids can be so cruel. They wrote him nasty notes about the way he dressed. I never thought he dressed that badly...he wore slacks, dress shirt and tie to work every day. But the kids focused on his wide ties.

What made me so embarrassed was that his junior high kids and the junior high I went too all joined together in one high school. When classmates found out that I was his daughter, all they could talk about were his ties and how out of fashion he was. They actually told me that generations are not always indicative of previous generations and I had out-shined him by miles....based solely on those darn ties he wore!

Isn't it sad that teenagers focus on such petty things when judging others? All I know is that I was so embarrassed because I was young, naive, and still developing into the person I am today.

Now, as I look back, I appreciate his nonconformity. He definitely had a mind of his own and I think I'm a lot like him.

Ask Susan...I wear mainly skorts...I don't care. She once asked me if that is all I wore. Laughing, I love her soul! Guess I can compare my skorts to my dad's ties.

Let me add my favorite memory...5th birthday...dad kneeling on one knee and sitting me on the other knee then singing "Happy Birthday" to me. That was special! It doesn't take a lot to make me happy or to stamp a memory in my mind.


Kids can be cruel without meaning to be. Thankfully we've grown out of that stage and can look at things with a little more perspective.

[nONIE]

After reading Bright's and Lil Dancers posts I felt I had to comment also. I too was so embarassed by my dads way of dressing. He was Old country and didnt come to America until his late teens. For some reason he never felt the need to conform to this country's way of dress and he spoke with a heavy accent. At times I wouldnt even walk down the street with him because of my embarrassement. I would walk in front or behind him so people wouldnt think we were together.

There is a huge ache in my heart when I think how I acted when I was around him in public. The truth is he was the kindest, most loving and self sacrificing man I have ever known. It wasant until many years later that I realized that. If only I could just take my selfish, childish actions back, . I am so sorry dad, I love you so much, and am proud to be your daughter. You are a king among men in my eyes.

[Rokinronda]

Nonie and Bright, Don't be so hard on yourselves. My kids always avoided being seen with me when they were teens. Ducking in the car (I was even embarrassed in the junk I drove!). Walking behind. Sitting far far away at the beach, etc.. It didn't hurt me one bit. What teen wants to be seen w/mom or dad??? It is typical behavior and accepted as such. Now they and their friends always want me around. Minus stirrup pants and the POODLE doo!! egads, what was I thinking!

[redwitch]

I think our parents understood our embarassment as we were teens. My mother had a heavy German accent, could not drive, loved talking to herself, would actually (GASP) step dance when a car went by with a loud radio. I wanted to die.

My daughter has actually gotten out of the car and walked 5 miles in 90 degree heat rather than be seen with her mother bopping to the music in the car. Didn't bother me in the least, except to give me a good chuckle.

I think that as long as there have been parents, there have been teens ashamed of them. It goes with the age and the trying to be grown up while being afraid of adulthood. Good parents (and we are a very lucky group that our parents were in fact good ones) understand this, chuckle about it, sometimes use this embarassment to have some fun at their kids' expense.

So, if you were embarassed, forgive yourself. Your parents did a long, long time ago just as you have forgiven your children their transgressions.

[nONIE]

Thanks Red, I have had a heavy heart about this for a long time! Your post has really helped.

I was also so surprised to hear that others were embarassed of their parents. I had no idea!!!

[redwitch]

Nonie, I truly love you! You make me smile so very, very often. Have no fear, dear one, I doubt you will find a teen alive who isn't ashamed of his/her parents -- past, present or future. American kids are just more open about it -- they will walk behind their parents, they will be more vocal about things. It really and truly is part of growing up and beginning the process of leaving the nest (much easier to do if you no longer have your parents on a pedestal and see some of the foibles).

[graciegirl]

I too have been avoiding this thread, not because of being embarassed of my father but never quite knowing him and always wondering why he didn't love me as much as the children with his second wife.

My mother died at my birth and her parents raised me. My father remarried a beautiful woman when I was two who really didn't like children that much but had them because of being Catholic.

They were party goers and givers, and never once did I even spend the night with them until my grandparents died. Fortunately I was 18 and going off to college and really never lived with them except for a short time as I got married after college. The short time was awful as any unwanted person will tell you.

I have a lot of baggage from that experience, but turned it into what I hope is a positive one loving deeply and by being very involved and interested in my own children and grandchildren.

Life has a way of working out, and anyone who has ever experienced sadness and pain and worry is better able to understand the human condition and other people.

[nONIE]

Graciegirl,

I find it truly amazing but wonderful the way we open up to each other in this forum. Who would have thought that we could make such great friends without even meeting .I feel so blessed and happy to know all of you. just feeling a little mushy this morning and wanted to let you sistah's all know how much you mean to me. Life certainly is good with all of you in it! :-*

Gracie, my mother had a very similiar story to yours. Growing up was a nightmare for her but it caused her to be bitter and hostile her entire life. I just wanted to congratulate you for turning this terrible experience around and becomming a loving person because of it. That took great effort and courage on your part. :bigthumbsup:

[Rokinronda]

Graciegirl,

I find it truly amazing but wonderful the way we open up to each other in this forum. Who would have thought that we could make such great friends without even meeting .I feel so blessed and happy to know all of you. just feeling a little mushy this morning and wanted to let you sistah's all know how much you mean to me. Life certainly is good with all of you in it! :-*

Gracie, my mother had a very similiar story to yours. Growing up was a nightmare for her but it caused her to be bitter and hostile her entire life. I just wanted to congratulate you for turning this terrible experience around and becomming a loving person because of it. That took great effort and courage on your part. :bigthumbsup:
:agree: I love the stories and want to thank TOTV for bringing us together!! What a wonderful place with such wonderful people!!! Life gets better every day!

[renielarson]

Is this tell the truth time? Maybe it's time I opened up and talked. Like self-therapy.

I not only avoided this thread because of the way the students treated my father but also because of the way my father treated my mother and sisters.

He was emotionally ill.

I'll never forget the time he got so mad he threw my mother across the bed and tried to strangle her. I, only about 4 at the time, crawled up and wedged myself between him and my mother. I kicked my legs with all my might against him...to ward him off. To this day I give myself credit for him retreating and running out of the house.

Then there was the time my dad went outside to go somewhere and he accidently ran over our beloved cat. Upon his return to the house to tell us of what had happened, he snapped. He grabbed my sister by her throat and tried to strangle her. Although this behavior was usually bestowed only upon my mother, this was the first time for him to do this to my sister. My mother stepped in immediately, between the two of them, and told him that if he ever ever attempted to harm one of her children again she would absolutely kill him. She meant it!

That was the last time he did something violent...I was about 13 years old.

I thank God that I was spared and he never did or attempted to do anything to me. However, I can't erase the memories of what he did to my mother and sisters.

[graciegirl]

Oh Bright.

None of us can know how hard that was for all of you. It is easy to see that in you in bred compassion and caring and sensitivity to others.

This is a good place. We are all grown up and safe and in Paradise. We will band together against any future hurts.

It is a privilege to know you wonderful women.

[Hyacinth Bucket]

My dear Bright,

As I read about what happened to you, tears swelled up in my eyes and a lump was in my throat. You, your sister and Mother were to hell and back. You were very brave at 4 years old. You may have saved your Mother's life or lessened the injuries that would have been inflicted on her as you said.

I am not surprised you can not erase the memories of what you saw, heard and your own feelings. You were traumatized at a very tender age.

I can understand your feelings and where you are coming from.

HB

[renielarson]

Perhaps my life experiences influenced my non violent nature related to all beings. Perhaps that's why I'm so in tune to children with problems...a way to heal myself.

I also wonder why I become easily defensive regarding some posts. Perhaps it's my self-preservation kicking in.

Anyway...when I post...keep in mind it's just brightspot....and forgive me when I'm defensive, sarcastic, aggressive, or just downright mouthy.

[Rokinronda]

Gracie, Nonie, Bright, Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs.I thought that I had the most disfunctional family. I never talk about when I was young. Bad memories. I felt so bad reading some of your stories. Mine seem trivial. My mom hit my dad over the head with a pan that she keeps to this day. It has a huge dent. Dad was knocked out, then thrown out. Fighting in our house was a weekly thing for 13 years. Dad would gamble his paycheck, playing poker and Mom would struggle to pay bills. They drove each other to drink and were out of control. Then they divorced. After the divorce they were much nicer to each other. They just could not live together. Mom worked 3 jobs to keep the house and I was responsible for my sister, cooking, and cleaning. Mom still thanks me for all I did to help. I forgot and forgave many moons ago. I grew up too fast. God sent Ed to me when I was 16. He also had seen constant fighting. I guess many of us saw terrible things. I know it made us better, stronger, very loving, compassionate people. My children were never subjected to that kind of terror. Heck we wouldn't even argue in front of them. The cycle was broken. Thanks for a great place to vent.

[mcelheny]

Wow :'(
I also have my stories. As some of you know, I was raised with no running water or electricity. I also had two retarded sisters and a very selfish Dad. I was crazy about him the first 13 years of my life because he had all the power. Then I started to realize he would never spend a penny on his family. All we did was work. His kids were slaves. He had issues. I hated him for years and it is only with time that I have forgiven. It was a kind of healing for me to say good things about him for the first time again.( when I started this thread. ) So wow...I really thank you all for sharing your hearts. I feel so much closer to everybody. Life hands all of us battles...it is so nice not to feel alone!
Thanks again.

[nONIE]

Mc,

Many hugs going out to you tonite. What a courageous thing to do, starting this thread with painful memories of your dad. I would have been a basket case putting this thread out there and having all those bad memories come flowing back. You gave us all the opportunity to reflect on our childhood good or bad and I thankyou for that from the bottom of my heart. I hope those that had painful memories have a good start on healing because of this thread. Thankyou, you sweet lady. :-*

[mcelheny]

Thanks Nonie,
You are the sweet lady. I think my Dad did the best he could...and I know forgiveness helps my soul.
I better go to bed. ;)
Love ya,
Mc

[Sidney Lanier]

Just catching up, a few days after Father's Day. I don't have a specific memory that vividly stands out, but I just remember my father as a man who loved his two very different sons unconditionally and openly expressed his love and affection to us. As a child he had lived through the trauma of battle in World War I directly, face-to-face, which profoundly affected him and which I can only assume resulted in his attitude of embracing life, whatever it brought him (and he dealt with plenty of adversity...), putting one foot in front of the next, and living his life as best as he could. From my father I learned the meaning of acceptance (especially in relation to adversity), I acquired a strong and healthy work ethic and sense of self-esteem, I had imbued in me a sense of connection to and responsibility for extended family, and I was exposed to environmental/natural beauty and classical music, which he exposed his sons to. In other words, he not only lived his life in this fashion but he passed these values on to his sons, in spite of the fact that he described himself as a 'simple man.' Thanks, Dad!

[Hyacinth Bucket]

To all of my Sistahs,

I applaud your honesty, strength and courage for sharing with all of us about your childhood memories. I know all to well about the Norman Rockwell family pictures and the glossy advertisements that depict wonderful happy families.

Then there is also the reality that no one wants to talk about or validate.

What is so meaningful to me is you have given yourselves permission to talk about feelings that are hard to express and most people don't want to know about. The freedom to know you can share with us and not one of us will judge you. We will support you, be there for you, give you a shoulder, hug or an arm around your shoulders. We will love you.

Hats off to my wonderful Sistahs,

Love ya all,

HB

[nONIE]

HB,

What a beautiful post. You are a very special lady. Thankyou!

[renielarson]

Thank you HB

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh96/renielarson/hugs.gif

[mcelheny]

Girls,
We must not exclude all the men who were brave enough to post. A special thank you to Sidney for jumping on. I also want to give a shout out to Tal, Happy 62, F-16, RCT, Talk Host, Steve Z, and Muncle.
Forgive me men-if I forgot somebody.
Everybody keep the memories coming!

[Russ_Boston]

I'll give you a guy's point of view as well.

My favorite memory of my dad was jumping over the fence at Narragansett race track in Pawtucket RI (a thoroughbred track of some note back in the day) so we didn't have to pay. Maybe sneaking into a gambling place isn't your basic 'warm the cockles of your heart' story but it showed me how much he wanted me to see his favorite activity. True story! (BTW - he didn't need to sneak in because he had a friend make him a fake groomers ID as if he worked there!).

He was a firefighter by trade and my mom didn't work so the money was tight. He only gambled the allowance that my mom gave him to do so and he'd save up for weeks to go. We had a nice upbringing though. I guess another memory was the rare occasions that he get a real score and give each of the kids $20 or so out of the winnings without telling my mom.

He didn't gamble on anything else - he just loved the horses!

[Muncle]

If I may jump in a bit late (yeah, I already posted a story, but this is a comment), I was speaking with Bright this evening and she mentioned this thread and asked my reaction. Well, to be honest, I'd not really read most of it. I can only take so much maudlin and I assumed that most of the stories would be similar to mine -- boy I didn't appreciate him when I was foolishly young, that kind of thing -- but after our talk I thought I'd better catch up.

I'm somewhat taken aback --- understatement. I've always known that I was pretty lucky in the area of family. Oh, we've had our usual squabbles, but for the most part everyone got along with and even loved everyone --- even my mom's stepmother. I always knew that that was not necessarily the norm, but I really didn't understand. After reading some of your stories, I absolutely salute you. Y'all seem to have overcome various significant obstacles to become really good people. Even for those of you with whom I argue about almost everything, I have great admiration. I don't know if I could have done the same.

[mcelheny]

Wow
Here I am balling my eyes out. I feel so bad. All goes back to my childhood of sticking up for the underdog and having super low self esteem.