Having second thoughts!

[deestatham]

I'm having second thoughts about moving to TV. Our plans are to move by September. Our house goes on the market in 2 weeks and now I'm scared and having second thoughts. I don't understand this because I've wanted this for 5 years. The stress of selling the house and our families telling us we're making a mistake is really causing me to question what we're doing. Have any of you been here before?:faint:

[DougB]

Nope

[graciegirl]

I had second thoughts. When I came on this forum and questioned everything, people called me a troll.

It is hard to leave our other life, but what I said to our children is this;

If we don't do it now. When will we do it? We don't have unlimited time on this earth.

[kcrazorbackfan]

Our son and his family had a hard time understanding why we wanted to move to TV after just moving to KC to be near them only 2 years ago; he visited us the first week of March and was able to understand why.

[graciegirl]

Dee. There are many who questioned. Hit the search button and type in second thoughts.

Here is one that came up;

https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/chatters-talk-happy-sad-117/more-nervous-than-happy-sad-140816/

[redwitch]

I think any move away from home is hard. Friends and family will happily come down to visit you. You will happily go up to visit them. Moving here doesn't take your old life away, it just puts it on a different shelf.

There are some who have regretted moving here, have sold and moved back home. For the vast majority, moving here has been the right move. This was right for you five years ago. It is probably right for you now. Moving jitters are right and natural.

[Cisco Kid]

I keep wondering why the %$#^ I drove away from TV about a month ago.

[Polar Bear]

...The stress of selling the house and our families telling us we're making a mistake is really causing me to question what we're doing...

Whatever you decide, just make sure it 's what you want, and not what your families are saying you should want.

[asianthree]

You have someone telling you that you are not going to be happy. Maybe you should hold off selling and rent for six months then rethink

[redwitch]

Whatever you decide, just make sure it 's what you want, and not what your families are saying you should want.

Best advice you can get.

[Fraugoofy]

I hope your family can become more supportive of your choices. Be true to yourself. The rest is easy!

[FlamingoFlo]

We made a move one time based on what we thought the kids would like. Bought a house on a lake and all necessary "lake toys". They did not spend the time with us that I had hoped. Busy working, kids in sports, etc. We lived there 10 yrs and loved it but decided all future decisions would be what we wanted.
We have no regrets. They love to visit.

[sunnyatlast]

You've wanted to be in TV for 5 years. Why do your relatives say it's a mistake to want what you want?

It's your life, not theirs.

Maybe you could hold off on selling the house, and then either rent in TV for a few months in the fall, or buy a reasonably priced villa that's easy to re-sell if TV is not for you after living here for awhile.

[dotti105]

The things you loved about The Villages that made you want to live here have not changed. Has your situation changed?

This is a very friendly place. Everyone here is from "somewhere else" and making friends is easy. You won't find a place with the activities and amenities anywhere else.

We left kids and grand kids in Ca, Ut, NC. It wasn't easy leaving the west coast. But we don't regret it for a minute. Our kids love it here, they wish they could come more often and so do we. But we will make trips out to see them too.

It is the best thing we could have done. We are enjoying this stage of our lives in a way we could nowhere else!

Don't talk yourselves out of this dream. It's even better than we ever thought it could be.

[DianeM]

Listen to your own "little voice".

[NYGUY]

Do what is right for "you"!!!

[Loudoll]

When in doubt: don't do it.
You should be feeling giddy, gung ho and all that, not having second thoughts.
Several of our friends have sorely regretted selling their homes and moving. Sometimes it is only one of the couple, but how can one person be happy and contented if their spouse is homesick and heartbroken that the home they loved is gone?
It has nothing to do with TV, it has to do with loving where you're planted but not realizing it till it's too late. Good luck. God bless.

[Loudoll]

Another consideration is that you will be leaving your doctors, your health care team and it is almost impossible to recreate that anywhere else. If you have a dire health situation and are getting quality care, I would not risk changing that.
Perhaps being a snowbird would work out really well for you.?? I doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[dalecrenshaw]

My brothers and sisters and myself told our parents that they were crazy when they came to the Villages on a visit and bought a house. We were really upset and thought they didn't know what they were doing. What we didn't know is they knew better than us. They made lots of friends, joined in lots of the activities, and loved every minute in the Villages. Much better than staying up in New Jersey with nothing to do. We started to visit them in the Villages, as did my other brothers & sisters, and we began to love it also. We now have a house in the Villages, that we visit part of the time, from California; and, one of my Brothers has also moved there.

[Happinow]

Moving away from family can be a very difficult decision. Like others have said, maybe rent here for a while to see if it's for you. For us, it was one of the most difficult decisions we have had to make .....moving away from my mom who is 87. We kept telling ourselves that life is too short and we need to make the move. We worked hard to get where we are and we really wanted to improve our quality of life after living in Upstate NY. Turns out we made the right decision to move to TV. My family now visits and my mom too! They love to vacation here. Plus we have FaceTime which makes it much easier. We have no family here but have made good friends whom we celebrate holidays with and have a lot of fun together. Everyone's circumstances are different and you have to do what is right for you. The best of luck to you.

[MSGirl]

I questioned my move when we were trying to get our house ready to sell, pack and move and plan my daughter's wedding! The stress of it all made me think twice about the decision to leave our home of 23 years and move here! Everything fell into place and the move to The Villages was the BEST move my husband and I made for ourselves! We love it! My grandson came for a week long visit during spring break- by himself! We took him to Disney BUT he actually preferred the Villages and the family pool! He had a blast! It's an adjustment, but everyone will be on board with your decision once they visit you in paradise.

[Amfunny]

Sell and rent for a year or so. That's what we did. Still not sure if we want to stay but I still have time to figure it out. Try before you buy. A short visit won't give you the same experience as living here.

[Bonnevie]

the stress of selling a house and packing is real. We've all had it. I didn't think I'd survive it. however, it got done, and my life is so much better here. I do so much more here than I did back where I came from.

[rjm1cc]

I'm having second thoughts about moving to TV. Our plans are to move by September. Our house goes on the market in 2 weeks and now I'm scared and having second thoughts. I don't understand this because I've wanted this for 5 years. The stress of selling the house and our families telling us we're making a mistake is really causing me to question what we're doing. Have any of you been here before?:faint:

Rent

[JoMar]

Some in our family said the same thing but what they were really saying was we don't want want you to go because that would create hardships for us....who will baby sit the kids, who will do the holiday dinner etc. If they were really concerned about us they would have been excited for us but nope, they were concerned how us moving would change their lives. We moved, they accept it and guess who's coming to visit? You decide what's best for you, you decide what will make you happy and that's the drum to march too. What's the worst thing that can happen, you sell here and move back if it doesn't work out......this isn't a lockup. And I agree, if you haven't rented for an extended time you might want to try that first.

[Barefoot]

Whatever you decide, just make sure it 's what you want, and not what your families are saying you should want.

And listen to your Gut.

[Go-Bucks!]

I like the idea of renting for awhile to see how I like it in TV, but I've been looking at the rents and - whoa! - they're ridiculously high. My goal is to pay off my mortgage in the next 4 years because I can't afford to retire (and live on my projected retirement income) if I have a house payment or rent. Most places I've looked at want about $1,800/mo during the off season and about $3,600/mo during peak season!! I certainly can't afford that after I quit working (or even now while I do work).

[Barefoot]

I like the idea of renting for awhile to see how I like it in TV, but I've been looking at the rents and - whoa! - they're ridiculously high. My goal is to pay off my mortgage in the next 4 years because I can't afford to retire (and live on my projected retirement income) if I have a house payment or rent. Most places I've looked at want about $1,800/mo during the off season and about $3,600/mo during peak season!! I certainly can't afford that after I quit working (or even now while I do work).

I agree that rental homes can be pricey in The Villages, especially during high season.
There are many other communities which are less expensive.

[SALYBOW]

Moving is a very stressful event, but you will get through it. Tell them you will be back to visit often

[Bonanza]

Come down and rent for a couple of months before you make a decision.
That is the only way you will have peace of mind when you decide.

[2BNTV]

Some in our family said the same thing but what they were really saying was we don't want want you to go because that would create hardships for us....who will baby sit the kids, who will do the holiday dinner etc. If they were really concerned about us they would have been excited for us but nope, they were concerned how us moving would change their lives. We moved, they accept it and guess who's coming to visit? You decide what's best for you, you decide what will make you happy and that's the drum to march too. What's the worst thing that can happen, you sell here and move back if it doesn't work out......this isn't a lockup. And I agree, if you haven't rented for an extended time you might want to try that first.

The bold statements hit the nail on the head. They are trying to change your mind for their benefit, not yours.

It's perfectly normal to get anxious when making a big change in one's life. They are many unknowns which most people get scared and confused when the things they have been comfortable with, gets changed.. There will be a period of adjustment when you move here, but after a few months, you will see it's the best thing that could happen to someone, who really wants to be here.

When the doubters and family members who only have their interest at heart visit, they will see the big picture and be converted.

My mother always used to say, "you can't live your life for your children, you need you own friends and way of life. Those that think they know you, don't know what's in your heart and mind. Be your own person and you will be much happier.

Have they seen TV and all it has to offer? Probably not, and some people are just so negative to things, in general.

[bonrich]

For some it is difficult to make a choice such as this. Changing your life, friends, family, familiar places, etc.

I am a fan of the yellow legal pad. Yep, you need to sit some AM with your coffee and start a list, one side pros & cons of KC and the other side, pros and cons of TV. And be brutally honest! More than just the Golf, Squares, Clubs and Entertainment, but also financial, and health care, etc. Thoughts of if something happened health wise and not able to drive, what are my options. If a spouses passes away, what do I do in that situation? The questions I have posed is the same for here or your hometown. Difference is how close is help with that sort of situation.

We are on the down side of the mountain, worked hard and climbed to the top, and now the slide is to enjoy the time we have, whether it is in The Villages, or back to where we lived for the longest part of our lives. Friends are moved, gone, familiar places are no longer there, the grandchildren are grown and college bound or getting married to start their new lives, adult children are looking at possibly moving on to different places as they start to plan their "retirement life".

Take your time, rent for awhile, different seasons, do what you enjoy doing in both localities and sit back and compare. Sometimes when you don't have to work too hard at it, it becomes an easy answer. Just do what feels "right" for the both of you.

[cms36]

Were in the same boat. We have four major life moments we're considering; buying a house, selling a house, moving (far), and retiring.

We thought we were ready to pull the trigger during our Christmas visit and actually were ready to write a contract on a house. We decided to go back home and think it over. Well here we are three months later and cant make a decision.

I think for us the bigger worry is retiring. Going from a life of earning and saving to spending is what we're trying to cope with.

We are planning on another visit in June and will see what happens.

[Sandtrap328]

Moving to The Villages is not for everyone. Some people have not been happy here after uprooting themselves and have returned from where they came, due to missing family, health issues, missing friends, etc. others love it here (me!)

It is the same with retirement. It is a personal decision. I love being retired but I know others who terribly miss being part of workforce projects.

Do not rely on family or friends to make your lifechanging decision. Selling a home, buying a new house, packing, throwing things away, and then actually leaving a home is extremely stressful.

[Cedwards38]

Major change is always hard, but it can also be a rebirth. Do what makes you happy, but sometimes you have to let go.

[gratefulparrot]

I had second thoughts. When I came on this forum and questioned everything, people called me a troll.

It is hard to leave our other life, but what I said to our children is this;

If we don't do it now. When will we do it? We don't have unlimited time on this earth.

I'm not at the Villages yet, but this is also what my train of thought is. Am I planning on passing soon, NO, but I want to have the opportunity to enjoy myself before I go. I'm still younger that most at the villages, but you never know when GOD says it's time. I've had many friends and family pass, there has been a 39yr old in church recently have a heart attack. Damn, let me sit by a pool and play golf before you take me. I've worked hard all my life, raise a family. Let me enjoy the later years.

[blueeagle65]

You have to live for YOU. If you want to do it, then we'll see ya. :thumbup:

[2BNTV]

The four saddest words are; "It might have been".

One should live their life in happiness, being unhappy is not an option. IMHO

[DonH57]

The bold statements hit the nail on the head. They are trying to change your mind for their benefit, not yours.

It's perfectly normal to get anxious when making a big change in one's life. They are many unknowns which most people get scared and confused when the things they have been comfortable with, gets changed.. There will be a period of adjustment when you move here, but after a few months, you will see it's the best thing that could happen to someone, who really wants to be here.

When the doubters and family members who only have their interest at heart visit, they will see the big picture and be converted.

My mother always used to say, "you can't live your life for your children, you need you own friends and way of life. Those that think they know you, don't know what's in your heart and mind. Be your own person and you will be much happier.

Have they seen TV and all it has to offer? Probably not, and some people are just so negative to things, in general.

Very well said Joe!:thumbup:

[tomwed]

What does your financial planner say? Get one and find out the financial advantages, if any.
Can you travel easily between TV and home?
Where is home?
Are you bored or busy at home doing what you enjoy?
Are you physically active and outside?

For me, TV has been better than any vacation I had since the oldest turned 18. [not counting a transatlantic cruise including Europe]
I own very little.
I don't have any grandchildren.
My oldest lives in Palo Alto.
I'm getting a lot of sun down here and golfing [walking] and biking quite a bit.
I started new hobbies.
It's easier for me to make friends down here.
I'm close to Brownwood.

So for me, so far, I made the right decision.

[joldnol]

think and pray about it. A neighbor loves it here but his wife wants to move back because she is homesick. Do what's best for you and not others.

[deestatham]

Were in the same boat. We have four major life moments we're considering; buying a house, selling a house, moving (far), and retiring.

We thought we were ready to pull the trigger during our Christmas visit and actually were ready to write a contract on a house. We decided to go back home and think it over. Well here we are three months later and cant make a decision.

I think for us the bigger worry is retiring. Going from a life of earning and saving to spending is what we're trying to cope with.

We are planning on another visit in June and will see what happens.


Deciding to retire is huge but trust me, you will NEVER look back. I'll tell you what my father told me - you won't spend as much money as you did when you were working so get out and enjoy it! He was right. I've been retired 15 years now and realize I spent much more when I was working. Giving up that security blanket is hard but once you're gone, you wonder why you ever doubted it. If you were told tomorrow that you had a serious health problem, what would you do? You're wasting precious time working. I don't know anyone who said "I wish I had worked another day." :BigApplause:

[deestatham]

What does your financial planner say? Get one and find out the financial advantages, if any.
Can you travel easily between TV and home?
Where is home?
Are you bored or busy at home doing what you enjoy?
Are you physically active and outside?

For me, TV has been better than any vacation I had since the oldest turned 18. [not counting a transatlantic cruise including Europe]
I own very little.
I don't have any grandchildren.
My oldest lives in Palo Alto.
I'm getting a lot of sun down here and golfing [walking] and biking quite a bit.
I started new hobbies.
It's easier for me to make friends down here.
I'm close to Brownwood.

So for me, so far, I made the right decision.


Our Financial Advisor says we are in beautiful shape and money is not an issue. We live in Maryland and can't wait to get out of this too liberal state. Have lived here all my 68 years and have family here and in NJ. Close knit Italian-Irish-German family who think you are a traitor if you leave the fold. No children but lots of nieces and nephews. Change is very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for many. I feel like I'm making my first sky dive, I'm at the door of the plane and can't jump! Its nice to hear so many say that they felt the same way I do right now and it seems to have worked out for so many of you. We are going to rent a furnished house for a year so I'm coming down in May to find a place. God willing, the answers will come. I thank ALL of you for being so gracious with your time and thoughts. It has helped immensely.

[tomwed]

Our Financial Advisor says we are in beautiful shape and money is not an issue. We live in Maryland and can't wait to get out of this too liberal state. Have lived here all my 68 years and have family here and in NJ. Close knit Italian-Irish-German family who think you are a traitor if you leave the fold. No children but lots of nieces and nephews. Change is very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for many. I feel like I'm making my first sky dive, I'm at the door of the plane and can't jump! Its nice to hear so many say that they felt the same way I do right now and it seems to have worked out for so many of you. We are going to rent a furnished house for a year so I'm coming down in May to find a place. God willing, the answers will come. I thank ALL of you for being so gracious with your time and thoughts. It has helped immensely.
I remember my mom telling me about her life in Jersey City when she was a girl. That would be 80 years ago. Our Italian-Irish family all lived in the same neighborhood. Every now and then someone would try and move out to another neighborhood in Jersey City. There would be a bon voyage party and lot's of tears. She said everyone only lasted a couple of months before they got homesick and moved back into the old neighborhood.

Now we take planes like they took buses. How far away is Maryland by plane?

[tomwed]

I own a quarter share villa in Hilton Head that I no longer use, and only rent. I often wondered how the quarter share concept would work for villagers investing in their hometown. Each owner has 1 week in January and then 2 weeks in the house and 6 weeks are for the other owners, all year round. If four couples co-owned a condo and leased a car than every 6 weeks you could fly home and visit family, friends and doctors. It wouldn't cost too much if you bought a studio or one bedroom. Maybe the car would be kept at the airport or nearby. Maybe you contact other villagers from your neck of the woods and if they want in, you could rent when it is vacant or get put on a waiting list to buy when someone wants out. All personal items would be kept in a family members house. It would be treated like a timeshare unit. Maybe you pack towels and sheets if there is a W/D to keep it simple.

[2BNTV]

Our Financial Advisor says we are in beautiful shape and money is not an issue. We live in Maryland and can't wait to get out of this too liberal state. Have lived here all my 68 years and have family here and in NJ. Close knit Italian-Irish-German family who think you are a traitor if you leave the fold. No children but lots of nieces and nephews. Change is very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for many. I feel like I'm making my first sky dive, I'm at the door of the plane and can't jump! Its nice to hear so many say that they felt the same way I do right now and it seems to have worked out for so many of you. We are going to rent a furnished house for a year so I'm coming down in May to find a place. God willing, the answers will come. I thank ALL of you for being so gracious with your time and thoughts. It has helped immensely.

It's always great to make a decision that will let you sleep at night. It sounds like you have.

After the year, consider this thought, "what is it worth to you, to get on, with the rest of your life".

[luckylilly]

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you all ready got!
GO FOR IT

[chalpm]

It was hard moving here...leaving friends & family..selling only home children knew and moving to a place where we knew no one. The first few months were difficult and filled with stress....and then it kicked in...we started to make friends and get involved in activities that interested us. Family & friends have been down to visit and love our new home as much as we do. We now are proud to call The Villages home and love our busy life style. It was the right move for us. Good Luck!

[Mamaderby]

Believe us when we say this.... Friends and family WILL come to see you! Even the ones you don't like😜. It's a great place, I was NEVER going to move to Florida......well....I changed my mind and very happy that I did! We both love it here.

[dplars]

The difference between a rut and a grave is just depth. One you can crawl out of, the other is more difficult.

[dplars]

The difference between a rut and a grave is just depth. You can crawl out of one, the other is more difficult.

[perrjojo]

I think you need to evaluate why some think it is a bad idea to move. Will they miss you? Are they children that will miss having a babysitter and someone to help with errands? Are their reasons selfish or true concern for you? Only you can decide.

[hulahips]

Maybe u could try renting first to take the pressure off yourself