An odd thing happened at the square tonight

[cquick]

I took my son who is 37 years old and in a wheelchair to Brownwood tonight to listen to the music. It was Carole Ann and she was great.

I got him all set up in his usual spot in front of the stage, but to the side (so he wouldn't block anyone's view) and I got my chair and was sitting near the bleachers to listen to the entertainment.

A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I wanted to retort back to him that it was not his business, but I didn't. I asked him specifically who told him that. But he wouldn't say.

I did tell him that my son was a Village resident and that one of his favorite things to do is listen to music. I told him that the entertainment was darned lucky to have a good audience who really loves the music. I also gently told him that if any entertainers didn't like a good audience that they should find a different line of work.

After the encounter, I just sat in my chair and started to feel very hurt by his remarks. I started thinking about all the horrible things I could have said to him, but of course I didn't. But I am still a little bit shaken by the fact that some people don't understand what it's like not to be able to see 10 feet in front of you, and have to depend on your parents to take you everywhere.

One of the principal reasons we moved to The Villages was the live entertainment every day of the year.

I am just happy that this is really the first time anyone has been so blatantly unkind to me since we moved here in 2011.

[sunnyatlast]

I took my son who is 37 years old and in a wheelchair to Brownwood tonight to listen to the music. It was Carole Ann and she was great.

I got him all set up in his usual spot in front of the stage, but to the side (so he wouldn't block anyone's view) and I got my chair and was sitting near the bleachers to listen to the entertainment.

A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I wanted to retort back to him that it was not his business, but I didn't. I asked him specifically who told him that. But he wouldn't say.

I did tell him that my son was a Village resident and that one of his favorite things to do is listen to music. I told him that the entertainment was darned lucky to have a good audience who really loves the music. I also gently told him that if any entertainers didn't like a good audience that they should find a different line of work.

After the encounter, I just sat in my chair and started to feel very hurt by his remarks. I started thinking about all the horrible things I could have said to him, but of course I didn't. But I am still a little bit shaken by the fact that some people don't understand what it's like not to be able to see 10 feet in front of you, and have to depend on your parents to take you everywhere.

One of the principal reasons we moved to The Villages was the live entertainment every day of the year.

I am just happy that this is really the first time anyone has been so blatantly unkind to me since we moved here in 2011.

I've seen your son many times in front of the stage, and each time, my eyes fill with tears of joy, seeing him enjoy the music so, so much.

Our friends and visiting relatives feel the same way and have commented to us that it is wonderful seeing people with disabilities out there having fun like everyone else.

I suspect that the so-called man who said that "other people and entertainers" said that they think it's rude for you to put him by the stage and just leave him there.....didn't have the guts to say this was his own bone-headed judgement of the matter.

And I doubt the singers/players said anything like that. If anything, they would enjoy performing for someone as enthusiastic as your son or others with similar disabilities/wheelchair who are up front near the band.

If he would do that again, tell him it's none of his business and he'll have to find another listener for his mean-spirited talk.

[DonH57]

Connie. It was totally sad you had to experience such a rude person to make inappropriate comments like he did. He had no right to make the comments he made and assign himself to speak for others. His actions and words were so blatantly wrong. As a fellow villager and friend both my wife and I feel bad you had to deal with this. Don't let people like him to bother you or discourage your family from enjoying the entertainment we all have the right to enjoy.

[cquick]

Thanks!

Great to get such a supportive response. I was just so flabbergasted when he actually made a point of coming up to me that I couldn't think of a quick reply!

[karostay]

Mouth Open
How would you even respond to such IDIOTS!

[Villageswimmer]

I'm so sorry this happened, Connie. Wow. I'm at a loss for words just hearing this story.

[Bay Kid]

So sorry to hear this. You can't change rude!

[jojo]

I too am so sorry that you experienced this boorish comment and agree with the other posters that it is highly likely he is speaking only for himself. You handled the situation with grace and perhaps that sent a message to him.

[wudda1955]

I, too, have seen your son there. It's now rude to leave him at the stage so he can enjoy the performance? Pffffftttt...that idiot didn't know what he was talking about. Maybe he thinks its rude, but until he's been in your son's shoes for even half a day, he needs to shut up and mind his own business.

[graciegirl]

Connie, I am so mad and hurt for you all at the same time. I want you to know that one of the things about this place I love are people like you and Patrick and his wonderful dad too.

I want to find that man and beat him up and I wish that we all could have been there with you when he said these hateful, cruel, and wrong things.

I don't believe for a MINUTE that anyone else thought anything even similar to what he said.

Damn it. I am furious.

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs and tears too.

[Taltarzac725]

I've seen your son many times in front of the stage, and each time, my eyes fill with tears of joy, seeing him enjoy the music so, so much.

Our friends and visiting relatives feel the same way and have commented to us that it is wonderful seeing people with disabilities out there having fun like everyone else.

I suspect that the so-called man who said that "other people and entertainers" said that they think it's rude for you to put him by the stage and just leave him there.....didn't have the guts to say this was his own bone-headed judgement of the matter.

And I doubt the singers/players said anything like that. If anything, they would enjoy performing for someone as enthusiastic as your son or others with similar disabilities/wheelchair who are up front near the band.

If he would do that again, tell him it's none of his business and he'll have to find another listener for his mean-spirited talk.

Don't let the bastards grind you down. Illegitimi non carborundum! Saw this on a plaque in back of a blues singer a few days ago on CBS Nightly News.

I doubt if that person spoke for anything except his own stupidity and lack of empathy.

[Cedwards38]

I'm sorry this happened to you. For the life of me I can not think of even a stupid reason why this person should care if your son sat where he sat. Try your best to just write it off as selfish ignorance and don't let it change the way you and your son enjoy the Villages lifestyle.

[pooh]

I, too, have seen your son at Brownwood and was happy he was able to have such a good location to listen to and watch the evening's performance.
It doesn't matter what others think, your son is happy and that's what is really important.

[HimandMe]

What people say and do reflects who they are inside. I'm ashamed for him.

[rdhdleo]

How horrible!!! My heart goes out to you for having to encountered such a rude and thoughtless individual! Bless you and your family and hope you can continue to enjoy this wonderful place we call home. All that counts is that your son is happy!!!

[George Bieniaszek]

I took my son who is 37 years old and in a wheelchair to Brownwood tonight to listen to the music. It was Carole Ann and she was great.

I got him all set up in his usual spot in front of the stage, but to the side (so he wouldn't block anyone's view) and I got my chair and was sitting near the bleachers to listen to the entertainment.

A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I wanted to retort back to him that it was not his business, but I didn't. I asked him specifically who told him that. But he wouldn't say.

I did tell him that my son was a Village resident and that one of his favorite things to do is listen to music. I told him that the entertainment was darned lucky to have a good audience who really loves the music. I also gently told him that if any entertainers didn't like a good audience that they should find a different line of work.

After the encounter, I just sat in my chair and started to feel very hurt by his remarks. I started thinking about all the horrible things I could have said to him, but of course I didn't. But I am still a little bit shaken by the fact that some people don't understand what it's like not to be able to see 10 feet in front of you, and have to depend on your parents to take you everywhere.

One of the principal reasons we moved to The Villages was the live entertainment every day of the year.

I am just happy that this is really the first time anyone has been so blatantly unkind to me since we moved here in 2011.

I am so sorry that you had to experience this idiot. I swear that the way some people behave and act towards others, it seems like they just crawled out of the trees with no social skills.

You definitely took the high road and didn't lower yourself and engage in an argument with him.

Mark Twain once said "Never argue with a fool because a bystander will not be able to tell the difference"

[CFrance]

Cquick, it's so lovely that your son can enjoy the music. Your lack of response was the best possible comeback. He wanted to start something, and you opted out. You are the better person, and he is an a... well, we all know what he is. Don't be hurt by someone lower than life.

God bless you and your son.

[Madelaine Amee]

I feel for you. You might have said your beautiful son is not in a wheelchair because he wants to be!

How totally ignorant of a stranger to come up and say something like that. I don't think I would have been as civil as you were, in fact I know I would not have been civilized at all. :boxing2:

[Happinow]

This is a sad situation. Shame on this person to say such things. Maybe he should mind his own business!! I also see your son parked up by the stage and I alway smile because I can see how much he enjoys the entertainment. Don't let this bonehead ruin your day. There's always someone out there who oversteps their boundaries and this loudmouth did. Keep on doing what you are doing. You have plenty of support by your fellow TOTVers. Get out there and enjoy the music!!

[outlaw]

"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."
Could it be the man felt sorry for your son being left alone, while you went and sat with other friends. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. But maybe the man thought you kind of abandoned him up by the stage.

[Codysmom]

Connie, your lack of response to him was the best way to handle it. If you had run up and moved him, he would have won, but you didn't. Bring him everywhere you want and make sure that he enjoys every single minute of the entertainment. Bravo!!

[golfing eagles]

Connie, your lack of response to him was the best way to handle it. If you had run up and moved him, he would have won, but you didn't. Bring him everywhere you want and make sure that he enjoys every single minute of the entertainment. Bravo!!

:agree:

Unbelievable. He was also probably one of the people who rope off 30 seats at 4PM as well, just to add to the hypocrisy. You just keep taking your son everywhere he wants to go---you and all parents of children with disabilities deserve sainthood. I might also suggest the following response---" Good evening sir, but I am at a loss to understand why you would ever interject yourself into my business with such a rude comment"---it should leave him speechless and apologetic

[redwitch]

I did wonder if he thought you were being rude for leaving him alone or because he didn't want to see a younger person in a chair. Either way, the man was a dolt and you were a total lady. Your son is very fortunate to have such caring parents. We Villagers are fortunate to have your family, especially your son, enjoying the Squares. Thank you for taking him there and bringing joy to those who can see how much he is enjoying himself. For the dolt, his loss.

[123Cookie]

same here - have seen your son there many nights and enjoy seeing him enjoying the music -- also like the lights on the wheelchair!!!! -- don't change what you are doing for one SMALL person - he is wrong and you are right!!! God Bless!

[ricthemic]

I really hope this rude idiot reads TOTV

[cquick]

"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."
Could it be the man felt sorry for your son being left alone, while you went and sat with other friends. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. But maybe the man thought you kind of abandoned him up by the stage.

yes, I thought about that too. Maybe he did think that my husband and I just stuck him up there and left.......but most people see us taking careof him, talking to him, dancing with him, giving him a drink at breaktime. It's possible that this person didn't realize that it's our son's choice to be where he sits.

[graciegirl]

yes, I thought about that too. Maybe he did think that my husband and I just stuck him up there and left.......but most people see us taking careof him, talking to him, dancing with him, giving him a drink at breaktime. It's possible that this person didn't realize that it's our son's choice to be where he sits.

BUT.

It was none of his business, and he should have waited and watched and noticed the caring love you always show Patrick, before he ran his mouth.

[Justus]

I took my son who is 37 years old and in a wheelchair to Brownwood tonight to listen to the music. It was Carole Ann and she was great.

I got him all set up in his usual spot in front of the stage, but to the side (so he wouldn't block anyone's view) and I got my chair and was sitting near the bleachers to listen to the entertainment.

A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I wanted to retort back to him that it was not his business, but I didn't. I asked him specifically who told him that. But he wouldn't say.

I did tell him that my son was a Village resident and that one of his favorite things to do is listen to music. I told him that the entertainment was darned lucky to have a good audience who really loves the music. I also gently told him that if any entertainers didn't like a good audience that they should find a different line of work.

After the encounter, I just sat in my chair and started to feel very hurt by his remarks. I started thinking about all the horrible things I could have said to him, but of course I didn't. But I am still a little bit shaken by the fact that some people don't understand what it's like not to be able to see 10 feet in front of you, and have to depend on your parents to take you everywhere.

One of the principal reasons we moved to The Villages was the live entertainment every day of the year.

I am just happy that this is really the first time anyone has been so blatantly unkind to me since we moved here in 2011.

By the overwhelming supportive response to your story, you can see that others are appalled at what this jerk said to you. He's a bully. Don't internalize his boorish behavior. The fact that he had to include unnamed "others" means he is weak and didn't have the courage to launch this attack on his own. Living with himself is his own personal punishment.

[Ecuadog]

Don't let the bastards grind you down. ...

Bingo.

[cquick]

:agree:

I might also suggest the following response---" Good evening sir, but I am at a loss to understand why you would ever interject yourself into my business with such a rude comment"---it should leave him speechless and apologetic


I thought of lots of smart remarks afterwards, but yours is one of the best.

Not that I'll remember to use it the next time this happens, and this sort of thing happens more often than people realize.

[graciegirl]

I thought of lots of smart remarks afterwards, but yours is one of the best.

Not that I'll remember to use it the next time this happens, and this sort of thing happens more often than people realize.


Sadly. Yes it does.

[rubicon]

I have noticed since moving here that some residents have a perception of what The Villages is and anything that alters that perception caused them to short circuit. One of those is the misconception that The Villages should be only a retirement community for retirees only ( empty nesters) . so if for any reason or no reason they find a couples' child has moved with them it does fit their reality.

My response would not have been something of a defensive nature it would have been something of an offensive manner like "that is an interesting statement you are making ...could you elaborate as to why you believe you have the right to broadcast your remarks and your reason for doing so.............Perhaps you would find that the guy never gave it much thought and was overreacting

[rjm1cc]

As long as there is no safety issue I see no problem.

You would hope that living in a retirement community where more of us experience problems as we age, those of us that currently do not have problems would be understanding of those that do.

[duffysmom]

At first I was outraged when I read your message and then I felt sad you had to experience such ignorance. Remember you can't fix stupid!! Continue to enjoy yourself and know that many of us admire you and the loving way you care for your son.

[vorage]

It makes me so sad to hear this, but very proud of the loving support you are getting here at TOTV. Please don't let the odd behavior of one individual make you second guess what you and your son love to do.
I have never gone down to say hello to him, and wonder if your son would welcome strangers stopping by to say hello when he is enjoying the band? I wouldn't want to upset him if he is sensitive to strangers, but it might give that fellow pause to see the right way to behave.

[dewilson58]

At first I was outraged when I read your message and then I felt sad you had to experience such ignorance. Remember you can't fix stupid!! Continue to enjoy yourself and know that many of us admire you and the loving way you care for your son.

Perfect word..............IGNORANCE.

A Village Idiot.

[Barefoot]

What an idiot! I don't blame you for being hurt, but he isn't worth a minute's thought.
Your lack of response was the best possible comeback.
Blessings to you and to all caregivers.

[DianeM]

"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."
Could it be the man felt sorry for your son being left alone, while you went and sat with other friends. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. But maybe the man thought you kind of abandoned him up by the stage.

I had the same thought but was afraid to verbalize it for fear of getting trounced. Perhaps he felt badly for him sitting by himself?

[Buckeyephan]

My husband and I were there last night, sitting a few rows behind you. Like others, we have seen your son enjoying the music many times. I am so sorry that this person intruded on your pleasant evening. Please know that this man has a viewpoint that is not shared by many others. Keep on bringing your son to the square and don't let this get you down.

[gatherer47]

Patrick is a terrific young man and Connie and Chuck are great parents! I have kept Patrick company on several occasions to give Connie and Chuck the opportunity to attend Village events.I can tell anyone that I have personal experience with this family and Patrick's well being is the number one concern in their lives.Patrick has attended several rehearsals of our doo wop group and the entertainers love him.As one who has worked in this field professionally,I continue to be amazed at the ignorance of people.God bless the Quicks!

[cquick]

I had the same thought but was afraid to verbalize it for fear of getting trounced. Perhaps he felt badly for him sitting by himself?

I don't think you should be trounced for any opinion. Yes, there are many ways to look at everything. Maybe we should put a sign on his wheelchair saying "I just want to enjoy the music, and go talk to my mom". He likes his little feeling of being in charge.

[2BNTV]

I am angry and sad this happened to you and yours. Everyone knows except this imbecile, that you are great parents to Patrick and devout your lives, to his care.

I wish I were there as I would have questioned his right, to make such rude statements.

The Villages idiot, at work!

I hope he does see this on TOTV and realizes how inappropriate his conduct, was.

GOD bless you Connie. It takes a special person to do what you do, everyday.

[beachx4me]

So sorry to hear this. You can't change rude!

Nor can you fix stupid!! I am glad your son enjoys the entertainment. If that a** would have thought long enough about it maybe he could have figured out why you do things the way you do.

Open mouth, insert foot!!

[Abby10]

I thought of lots of smart remarks afterwards, but yours is one of the best.

Not that I'll remember to use it the next time this happens, and this sort of thing happens more often than people realize.

It saddens me to hear this, as well as the details of the incident you described in your OP. I hope you can see and hear the support and love toward you and your son from those on this forum. You are to be admired for your devotion to him, not admonished by someone who has no idea what they are talking about. How sad that someone could be so thoughtless. :ohdear: You, on the other hand, handled it with grace.

[Fraugoofy]

I really hope this rude idiot reads TOTV
I am pretty sure this rude idiot might read TOTV and he might also be a poster on the political forum! Sorry there are so many idiots out there and that a few even live in TV...

[graciegirl]

I am sure this song has special meaning for you, Connie. It always makes me cry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJAKmWAIKcY

[dbussone]

I have been watching this thread all day. The more I read , the more I believe Connie was too kind in setting the title. It should say "a terribly rotten person was nasty tonight." That's probably the nicest I could say about the person involved. To Connie - a special reward awaits you and your husband, as well as Patrick. As you can tell there are many responders who love your family. We have your back in more ways than one.

[patfla06]

I am so sorry for you to have been treated so rudely.

Cannot imagine what this imbecile was thinking speaking to you
like that.

He is just a bully and an ignorant one at that.

[Loudoll]

"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."
Could it be the man felt sorry for your son being left alone, while you went and sat with other friends. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. But maybe the man thought you kind of abandoned him up by the stage.
When I read that, I thought how grand that her son has this little window of time without mommy and daddy right there, but still he was safe. He's a grown man, a music lover. Why can't he have some sort of alone time? I think his folks are exceptional human beings and so is he!

[tainsley]

Sad to hear this Connie. I happen to think you are such a wonderful person and a fabulous mother. Don't ever let anyone make you feel any less than fabulous!

[floodcolleen]

I would like to share with you, I just registered on the page and your story was the first one I read and it definitely struck a cord with me. I am also in my late 30's (39) and actually am technically disabled as well. I have seizures, so not as obvious as a wheelchair - but still.
Another thing, ironically, I am a performer. I was in a small production here in the villages a few months ago "Montana: No Fracking Way!" just as a chorus member, and just got cast in a new production "Man of La Mancha". Anyone who comes to see a performer, that performer appreciates, even needs in their heart, and to see a reaction from the audience is their "bread, butter, and the whole sandwich". The performer gets more excited and into the show when the audience reacts well that night - laughing at the right times, clapping at the right times. There have been lots of times when you compare one night to the other and say this one is a "bad/dry audience". Every performer who ever saw your son clapping and getting into the performance would have gone up to this guy and asked him to leave!! Demanded it!! It would be one less in the audience, but if their is someone ruining the event for others, its worth it!

I do hope you did not have to sit far away from your son. Sharing the experience together is half the fun!! Talking about how one guy was funny, one girl is wearing a weird dress, things that make you laugh!

Big hugs! From every performer you have seen and will see!!:bigbow:

[hulahips]

Let it roll right off your shoulders and pay no attention. Not worth getting upset over.

[paulascorpio]

That man needs to be slapped with a Rudeler!!!

[Taltarzac725]

I would like to share with you, I just registered on the page and your story was the first one I read and it definitely struck a cord with me. I am also in my late 30's (39) and actually am technically disabled as well. I have seizures, so not as obvious as a wheelchair - but still.
Another thing, ironically, I am a performer. I was in a small production here in the villages a few months ago "Montana: No Fracking Way!" just as a chorus member, and just got cast in a new production "Man of La Mancha". Anyone who comes to see a performer, that performer appreciates, even needs in their heart, and to see a reaction from the audience is their "bread, butter, and the whole sandwich". The performer gets more excited and into the show when the audience reacts well that night - laughing at the right times, clapping at the right times. There have been lots of times when you compare one night to the other and say this one is a "bad/dry audience". Every performer who ever saw your son clapping and getting into the performance would have gone up to this guy and asked him to leave!! Demanded it!! It would be one less in the audience, but if their is someone ruining the event for others, its worth it!

I do hope you did not have to sit far away from your son. Sharing the experience together is half the fun!! Talking about how one guy was funny, one girl is wearing a weird dress, things that make you laugh!

Big hugs! From every performer you have seen and will see!!:bigbow:

Welcome to TOTV. What a nice start to your stay on here.

[outlaw]

When I read that, I thought how grand that her son has this little window of time without mommy and daddy right there, but still he was safe. He's a grown man, a music lover. Why can't he have some sort of alone time? I think his folks are exceptional human beings and so is he!

That's how you see it, and that's fine. I was just providing the OP with a possible explanation why this man may have felt inclined to make any comment to her. I really don't know what was in the heart of the man. Maybe instead of attacking the man with snarky insults, posters should recommend an appropriate response such as "oh, why do you think it is rude of me, sir?" Then if he tells her he thought it was unsafe to leave a vulnerable handicapped person alone in such a crowded venue, she could have responded appropriately. I'm not defending this guy. I just don't know what was in his heart. We all have said things that didn't come out like we meant, and maybe this was the case here. We all have witnessed behaviors or circumstances that we initially thought was one thing, and then learned it was completely different from our initial perception. A man spanking a child, for instance. But maybe the child just ran across a busy street and the man, his father, was so terrified all he could do was spank him out of fear for his safety and love for him. At first, it looks like an angry man beating his kid; later, with all the facts, it looks like a father terrified for his child's safety and trying to make sure it never happens again.

[deestatham]

Please don't let the rudeness of one person hurt you. Your son has every right to enjoy the entertainment and I sincerely hope that you never encounter this again. America's Friendliest Home Town is sorry for your encounter.

[graciegirl]

That's how you see it, and that's fine. I was just providing the OP with a possible explanation why this man may have felt inclined to make any comment to her. I really don't know what was in the heart of the man. Maybe instead of attacking the man with snarky insults, posters should recommend an appropriate response such as "oh, why do you think it is rude of me, sir?" Then if he tells her he thought it was unsafe to leave a vulnerable handicapped person alone in such a crowded venue, she could have responded appropriately. I'm not defending this guy. I just don't know what was in his heart. We all have said things that didn't come out like we meant, and maybe this was the case here. We all have witnessed behaviors or circumstances that we initially thought was one thing, and then learned it was completely different from our initial perception. A man spanking a child, for instance. But maybe the child just ran across a busy street and the man, his father, was so terrified all he could do was spank him out of fear for his safety and love for him. At first, it looks like an angry man beating his kid; later, with all the facts, it looks like a father terrified for his child's safety and trying to make sure it never happens again.

I was going to yell at you but I reread it twice and I get what you are saying.

I know Connie and her family. I understand as much as a person who is not living her life day to day can understand. I honor her and love her and her equally devoted husband for showing us what unconditional love is.

I know first hand the mistakes that a parent of a handicapped child can make. Always walking between the lines of too much and too little help and protection and trying to get it right so your child feels some level of freedom to feel just like other people.

I have had well meaning people offer all kinds of suggestions to do something we tried and it didn't work years ago. Most of us with normal children struggle to do the right thing and usually get it right but not always.

At the very least. It was NONE of his business and Patrick was safe with hundreds of eyes who saw him nightly and would never allow harm to come to him.

It is just common sense, and common courtesy to hold your tongue sometimes. I don't know how that guy got to be a senior citizen without knowing someone first hand in a very similar situation and because of that developing a little.....respect? restraint?.

We are all peddling as fast as we can. We need to learn from each other.

[outlaw]

I was going to yell at you but I reread it twice and I get what you are saying.

I know Connie and her family. I understand as much as a person who is not living her life day to day can understand. I honor her and love her and her equally devoted husband for showing us what unconditional love is.

I know first hand the mistakes that a parent of a handicapped child can make. Always walking between the lines of too much and too little help and protection and trying to get it right so your child feels some level of freedom to feel just like other people.

I have had well meaning people offer all kinds of suggestions to do something we tried and it didn't work years ago. Most of us with normal children struggle to do the right thing and usually get it right but not always.

At the very least. It was NONE of his business and Patrick was safe with hundreds of eyes who saw him nightly and would never allow harm to come to him.

It is just common sense, and common courtesy to hold your tongue sometimes. I don't know how that guy got to be a senior citizen without knowing someone first hand in a very similar situation and because of that developing a little.....respect? restraint?.

We are all peddling as fast as we can. We need to learn from each other.

I hear you. You are possibly coming from a different perspective than this man? with both of you having different life experiences. But I am concerned that so many resort to the "none of your business" position. I believe it is everyone's business to get involved with what may be abuse, neglect, alcoholism, bad behavior, depression, etc. I am not saying that the OP was doing anything wrong. In fact, it sounds like she is very caring and was not neglectful, etc. But we should all make it our business. I bristle at the frequent smart phone videos of bystanders videoing a victim getting abused or beaten by a bully or group of people, instead of calling 911 or trying to intervene in some way. How many people have committed suicide because people minded their own business instead of trying to help those people. Yet, when someone does interject, the first thing that others say is "mind your own business".

[tenderyears]

Let him walk a mile in your shoes and maybe he will feel differently. I am sorry you had this experience in the Villages.

[cquick]

I would like to share with you, I just registered on the page and your story was the first one I read and it definitely struck a cord with me. I am also in my late 30's (39) and actually am technically disabled as well. I have seizures, so not as obvious as a wheelchair - but still.
Another thing, ironically, I am a performer. I was in a small production here in the villages a few months ago "Montana: No Fracking Way!" just as a chorus member, and just got cast in a new production "Man of La Mancha". Anyone who comes to see a performer, that performer appreciates, even needs in their heart, and to see a reaction from the audience is their "bread, butter, and the whole sandwich". The performer gets more excited and into the show when the audience reacts well that night - laughing at the right times, clapping at the right times. There have been lots of times when you compare one night to the other and say this one is a "bad/dry audience". Every performer who ever saw your son clapping and getting into the performance would have gone up to this guy and asked him to leave!! Demanded it!! It would be one less in the audience, but if their is someone ruining the event for others, its worth it!

I do hope you did not have to sit far away from your son. Sharing the experience together is half the fun!! Talking about how one guy was funny, one girl is wearing a weird dress, things that make you laugh!

Big hugs! From every performer you have seen and will see!!:bigbow:

Thank you ! Thank you! Thank you! It's great to get a performer's opinion!

[cquick]

I hear you. You are possibly coming from a different perspective than this man? How many people have committed suicide because people minded their own business instead of trying to help those people. Yet, when someone does interject, the first thing that others say is "mind your own business".

Thank you for your opinion. I am the original poster, and I appreciate all the ideas posted. I didn't tell the man to mind his own business, actually I realized that he thought I was neglecting my disabled person. But if he had waited or had seen my husband and I taking care of him, he would have known that my son prefers to sit close to the band so he can see them. I just think he thought that it wasn't right to sit there, instead of out in the audience.

[cquick]

I was going to yell at you but I reread it twice and I get what you are saying.

I know Connie and her family. I understand as much as a person who is not living her life day to day can understand. I honor her and love her and her equally devoted husband for showing us what unconditional love is.

I know first hand the mistakes that a parent of a handicapped child can make. Always walking between the lines of too much and too little help and protection and trying to get it right so your child feels some level of freedom to feel just like other people.

I have had well meaning people offer all kinds of suggestions to do something we tried and it didn't work years ago. Most of us with normal children struggle to do the right thing and usually get it right but not always.

At the very least. It was NONE of his business and Patrick was safe with hundreds of eyes who saw him nightly and would never allow harm to come to him.

It is just common sense, and common courtesy to hold your tongue sometimes. I don't know how that guy got to be a senior citizen without knowing someone first hand in a very similar situation and because of that developing a little.....respect? restraint?.

We are all peddling as fast as we can. We need to learn from each other.

Dear Gracie, thank you again. I think this episode has really opened people's eyes to the different types of human beings living here in The Villages. And I have always felt safe here, whether I am alone with my son, or when he is with both my husband and I.

Love the Villages and the Villagers!

[BritParrothead]

Connie, it was not 'odd'. It was a mean and nasty thing to say!! :mad: Rotten little twerp ( I had to change my language there!) :)
You just carry on, and let your son enjoy himself!

[outlaw]

Thank you for your opinion. I am the original poster, and I appreciate all the ideas posted. I didn't tell the man to mind his own business, actually I realized that he thought I was neglecting my disabled person. But if he had waited or had seen my husband and I taking care of him, he would have known that my son prefers to sit close to the band so he can see them. I just think he thought that it wasn't right to sit there, instead of out in the audience.

Based on your posts, I knew/assumed you didn't tell the man to mind his own business. I gathered you were rather stunned at the time, and therefore speechless, as I would have been. I was really referring to the posters that were saying to "mind his own business". It's interesting that you stated you realized he thought you were neglecting your son, which is really what I was saying all along. Don't get me wrong. I don't think you were neglecting your son. I just thought maybe the man only approached you out of concern for your son. Most posters overwhelmingly jumped to the conclusion that this man was just being mean and attacked you because your son was placed close to the stage. Could he have waited to see you care for your son? Yes. But none of us are perfect. At least, if indeed he was watching out for your son, he did get involved, although, maybe not in the most tactful way. BTW, when did you come to the realization that the man was just concerned about your son being neglected? Just curious.

[golfing eagles]

... It's interesting that you stated you realized he thought you were neglecting your son, which is really what I was saying all along. Don't get me wrong. I don't think you were neglecting your son. I just thought maybe the man only approached you out of concern for your son. ... At least, if indeed he was watching out for your son, he did get involved, although, maybe not in the most tactful way. BTW, when did you come to the realization that the man was just concerned about your son being neglected? Just curious.

I'm not so sure I buy this argument. Look at the OP---"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."

He did not say he was concerned for Patrick's safety since he saw him sitting there alone. He did not say HE was concerned at all. He stated "other people and entertainers" thought it was RUDE. This seems to have quite a different connotation that simply a concerned individual with a poor choice of words

[outlaw]

I'm not so sure I buy this argument. Look at the OP---"A man came up to me and said that he had been told by other people and entertainers that they think it's rude for me to put him by the stage and just leave him there."

He did not say he was concerned for Patrick's safety since he saw him sitting there alone. He did not say HE was concerned at all. He stated "other people and entertainers" thought it was RUDE. This seems to have quite a different connotation that simply a concerned individual with a poor choice of words

That's where the part about not being tactful comes into play.

[ScorpioSquared]

BUT.

It was none of his business, and he should have waited and watched and noticed the caring love you always show Patrick, before he ran his mouth.

Totally agree...none of his business. It amazes me how some folks feel they're the moral compass for others. As adults we know there are times stepping in is necessary. This wasn't one of them. I'm so over people like this! I don't know that I could have responded any better than the OP...than again I have not had medical intervention for my menopause symptoms so anything is possible. :1rotfl:

[2BNTV]

Totally agree...none of his business. It amazes me how some folks feel they're the moral compass for others. As adults we know there are times stepping in is necessary. This wasn't one of them. I'm so over people like this! I don't know that I could have responded any better than the OP...than again I have not had medical intervention for my menopause symptoms so anything is possible. :1rotfl:

:1rotfl:

Whatever his intentions were, his words and manner left a lot to be desired.

I proper concerned response was not expressed. IMHO

Maybe he should check his own moral compass! It seems out of whack to me. :D

[Lauren Sweeny]

It says a lot about the readers on this site who were so thoughtful to take the time to share their views and general disgust of the treatment to Connie's son . It is heartwarming to read that people care and support each other . Bravo !

[ron122049]

Connie,
UNFORTUNATELY, The Villages is home to some people who despite all the activities here have nothing better to do than BITCH & COMPLAIN about things that are none of their business. I too recently received an anonymous complaint delivered by the sheriff about something that was none of anyone else's business. People who make anonymous complaints are COWARDS!

[outlaw]

Connie,
UNFORTUNATELY, The Villages is home to some people who despite all the activities here have nothing better to do than BITCH & COMPLAIN about things that are none of their business. I too recently received an anonymous complaint delivered by the sheriff about something that was none of anyone else's business. People who make anonymous complaints are COWARDS!

Care to elucidate regarding the complaint that involved the law showing up at your door??

[cquick]

BTW, when did you come to the realization that the man was just concerned about your son being neglected? Just curious.

Well, I actually don't think he thought that. I think he just didn't like seeing the wheelchair up next to the stage. He said it was rude.

[graciegirl]

Connie. I just love you to pieces.

[Duckfinger2]

I am sorry that this happened, I hope you do not let this stop you and Patrick from enjoying the music.
Here is a thought instead of a sign that says I am here for the music.
Have a sign that says my name is Patrick I am here to enjoy the music,
and all the people here who support you and Patrick.

Have a sign that says "We are here with Patrick ! "

That way no one has to fill in try you thoughts

[Mrs. Robinson]

It may be hard to believe, but I am furious that this happened to you. That man displayed unexcusable behavior.

In retrospect, you should have told him it was none of his business or whatever thoughts you were thinking, but squelched. You would have been no less the lady you are. Sometimes stupid people need to be put in their place.

[john1953]

Connie just put it off that the guy was a complete idiot.He really had some nerve.Lucky I wasn`t in ear shot because I would have told the guy to stick it where the sun don`t shine.Just keep doing what your doing and let your son have his fun with the music.

[outlaw]

Well, I actually don't think he thought that. I think he just didn't like seeing the wheelchair up next to the stage. He said it was rude.

OK. That was confusing.

[graciegirl]

OK. That was confusing.


Welcome to Holland (http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html)

[Villager Joyce]

Welcome to Holland (http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html)

Wow. Beautiful.

[Abby10]

Welcome to Holland (http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html)

That is so cool, Gracie! I must share that with some friends and family members who are involved with special needs and/or disabled children. What a beautiful way to view it!

[outlaw]

Holland has bicycle friendly roads.

[graciegirl]

[...

[dbussone]

...]

[Madelaine Amee]

Welcome to Holland (http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html)

That is truly amazing Gracie, so beautifully written.

[Madelaine Amee]

When my beautiful daughter-in-law was carrying her second child, she was told that there may be a problem with the fetus. I asked my son what they were going to do and I will never forget his answer -

"Well, what do you think we will do? It's not a fish, you can't throw it back if you don't like it."

That child is now 16, is perfectly normal and is just beautiful.

[Diva Kay]

Everyone that has a heart enjoys seeing your son so enjoy the music and entertainers. And the many times I have seen him there, all of the entertainers seem to enjoy him right there where they can sing to him from time to time. Such an honor and thrill for him.
Keep it up girlfriend.

[Schneil]

Someone forgot this is the "friendliest hometown" geared towards enhancing happier, healthier and independent living. I applaud you for recognizing and honoring your adult son's interest in music and letting him thrive with a disability vs being confined to his parents immediate proximity 24/7. You are absolutely correct in placing his wheelchair near the stage where he can see without risk of others blocking his view either. Wheelchair accessible seating is usually available closet to the stage.
I hope this unfortunate incident will not overshadow the nights/years of wonderful memories your family.