chuck90199
01-25-2016, 09:50 AM
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.
I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken
By people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
Before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year,
Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise,'
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
Is so when you die, they'll say,
�Well, he looks good doesn't he.�
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
Start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
The last few years,
Just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
Because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.
I like long walks,
Especially when they are taken
By people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
Before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year,
Spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise,'
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day
Is so when you die, they'll say,
�Well, he looks good doesn't he.�
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
Start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
The last few years,
Just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
Because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much
About how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
And by the time I leave,
I look just fine.