chuck90199
03-27-2016, 09:17 AM
The biggest lie I tell myself is��I don�t need to write that down, I�ll remember it.�
Wouldn�t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven�t had a meeting yet!
I don�t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don�t need anger management. I need people to stop ****ing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don�t have grey hair. I have �wisdom highlights.� Apparently I�m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would�ve put them on my knees.
The kids text me �plz� which is shorter than please. I text back �no� which is shorter than �yes�.
I�m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I�ll do that second week.
Even duct tape can�t fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you�re just gonna transfer me to someone I can�t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age �getting lucky� means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
My people skills are just fine. It�s my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
And, of course� Have I posted this already?
Wouldn�t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven�t had a meeting yet!
I don�t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don�t need anger management. I need people to stop ****ing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
I don�t have grey hair. I have �wisdom highlights.� Apparently I�m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would�ve put them on my knees.
The kids text me �plz� which is shorter than please. I text back �no� which is shorter than �yes�.
I�m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I�ll do that second week.
Even duct tape can�t fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you�re just gonna transfer me to someone I can�t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
At my age �getting lucky� means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
My people skills are just fine. It�s my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
And, of course� Have I posted this already?