I have to be careful how I phrase this

[Talk Host]

First, let me say that I think the March of Dimes is a wonderful organization. This has nothing to do with the March of Dimes. What is has to do with is Publix Supermarkets instructing its checkout clerks to say to each customer "would you like to donate a dollar to the March of Dimes."

If there is a "best" way to make my skin crawl, it is to put me on the spot like that in front of other people. It's bad enough if they do it when there is nobody around.

I know there are going to be lots of people who disagree with me and say that it's okay. I believe that it is "knowingly" putting people in an uncomfortable situation, with the full knowledge that most are "embarrassed" to say no. So, I believe it is a tactic to use embarrassment to raise money so that Publix will look good when they present a huge check to the March of Dimes.

How about this approach, "....with your permission, we will deduct one dollar from your total food purchase today, and Publix will donate that to the March of Dimes."

[ricthemic]

That is a great idea although I doubt they would consider it. I feel bad for the minimum wage employees who are forced to ask. I typically respond," No thank you, I've already donated".

[Boomer]

I am a front-end of the Boom Boomer.

I remember my mom getting all worried if I told her my throat was sore.

I remember not being allowed to go swimming in the public pool.

I remember pictures of kids in the iron lung.

I remember kids in my class and a good friend's mom who had polio.

I remember Jonas Salk.

I remember lining up at the school playground to get that shot.

Dimes don't get it these days. But a dollar from a whole big bunch of people would. A whole big bunch of dollars to go toward whatever that organization (the one that was so important in the lives of so many of us) is working on now.

So TH, c'mon, smile and give 'em a buck for Boomer and I will pay you back if we ever meet.

Boomer (with the long memory)

[Talk Host]

I am a front-end of the Boom Boomer.

I remember my mom getting all worried if I told her my throat was sore.

I remember not being allowed to go swimming in the public pool.

I remember pictures of kids in the iron lung.

I remember kids in my class and a good friend's mom who had polio.

I remember Jonas Salk.

I remember lining up at the school playground to get that shot.

Dimes don't get it these days. But a dollar from a whole big bunch of people would. A whole big bunch of dollars to go toward whatever that organization (the one that was so important in the lives of so many of us) is working on now.

So TH, c'mon, smile and give 'em a buck for Boomer and I will pay you back if we ever meet.

Boomer (with the long memory)


You are missing the point all together!! You know it's not the dollar I'm talking about.

BTW, Over my 45 years in broadcasting, I have raised millions of dollars for charity. Of that amount, close to $250,000 went to the March of Dimes. Your comment about paying me back is an insult. Please don't shift the focus of my post.

[Halle]

I think it is a wonderful way for various organazations, March of Dimes,American Breast Cancer Society,American Heart Association,Prostate Cancer Awareness etc. to raise money. I don't think anyone should be embarrassed to say No Thank You. The person who may not be able to afford to mail in a contribution may be able to donate a dollar.

Every Buck helps.

:pepper2::pepper2:

[dillywho]

Rather than asking everyone, why not just post a big sign at each register? If one chooses to donate, then they can do so. (Or the card reader thingy could maybe be programmed to ask also just like it already asks if you want cash back; or maybe donation jars for those paying cash). They don't ask about Operation Shoe Box or the food drives...just make it available to donate by placing barrels and signs.

[Talk Host]

I think it is a wonderful way for various organazations, March of Dimes,American Breast Cancer Society,American Heart Association,Prostate Cancer Awareness etc. to raise money. I don't think anyone should be embarrased to say No Thank You. The person who may not be able to afford to mail in a contribution may be able to donate a dollar.

Every Buck helps.

:pepper2::pepper2:

Or the person who is really short on funds and cannot afford even the dollar is left being embarrassed, I think.

Our neighbor, down the street, is a cashier and she says they dread having to ask because they see smiles disappear instantly. Usually the check out process is a fun event with glib chatter, then it changes with that question.

Charitable contribution is a very private matter. Asking for money at the grocery checkout makes it very public. (or Publix). If we, as administrators, began sending out emails to or entire list of members, asking for a donation, we would be roundly criticized. I believe we would lose members.

JLK

[chuckinca]

Safeway here in Norcal is forever collecting money for some charity or another. They had the cashiers ask everyone that came thru to donate - a real pain when you go to the store every day or so.

Now they have wised up a bit and when you enter your ATM card pin the next screen asks if you want to donate to ___________. No verbal request from the cashier. If you do donate the cashier goes on the intercom and thanks her customer on her isle # ___ for the donation.

Much less pressure but I believe they are getting much less donations.

Still have to wade your way thru the people collecting donations outside the store.

.

[Boomer]

You are missing the point all together!! You know it's not the dollar I'm talking about.

BTW, Over my 45 years in broadcasting, I have raised millions of dollars for charity. Of that amount, close to $250,000 went to the March of Dimes. Your comment about paying me back is an insult. Please don't shift the focus of my post.

ohdearohdearohdearohdear

Of course I know it's not the buck, TH.

Re. the way of asking for donations: It does not bother me. In fact, I like it because it gives many a chance to give and does not cause a bunch of paperwork and focuses on the charity itself. A lot of people do a little something. Not a big photo op. Just little people doing a little good to do a lot of good.

But back to your issue with me about the buck.....

No war cry intended.

I think most people here if they read much of the stuff I have written for such a long time (all of which really surprised me -- did not know that would happen) get the idea that I write sometimes with an attempted sense of humor. At least I think I do. And if I were talking to you in person, I would be smiling when I said that thing about the buck and you would get it I bet. Writing can carry tone and voice, and I like to think it can carry a smile.

Guess that one did have just a little sass. But I was smiling when I sassed you. And it was not a mean smile. And I still think in person you would have not been offended by my "I will pay you back" comment. And you might even have given me a snappy little comeback.

It is really hard to explain something like this. I guess that's enough trying.

Boomer

[BobKat1]

It's the same at Dominick's (Safeway) in Chicago, Jewel too. For me, it's not about the cause, it's way of going about it. Jewel is even asking at the checkout if you want to buy one of the specials of the day. Seems one can't checkout these days without being asked if you want to donate, open a credit card etc., etc. There's gotta be a better way.

[emily]

Boomer, I think I will be in the minority with you.

I personally think it is an excellent idea. I may not think to donate to a specific cause and this way I am given the opportunity to do so.

I have purchased bags of food at Publix for those in need, have bought books for children at Barnes and Noble, donated monies to other causes this way.

If it hadn't been for Barnes and Noble stating that they were donating specific books to children who could not afford them, I would not have the privilege of helping that child. The child who was getting the book, picked out a book they wanted.

Who knows one of the ten books or so that I bought might be given to the next president of the United States, or who might make a major contribution to curing various illnesses such as MS.

I also raise a lot of money for various groups, I do not see that as a big deal and would not have mentioned it, if you hadn't TH. I personally feel we all do what we can for others, for that, I do not need a pat on the back.

I have also saved time and money - no stamps to buy, gas to get to the post office to mail my donations, etc. So I will say a loud THANK YOU to all those businesses who allow me to make my donations the easy way.

JMHO

Emily

[emily]

Is there a problem on TOTV? I just wanted to edit my post on this thread and did not see my post.

Wonder if I hit the wrong key?

Emily

[clyd709]

:agree:I am a front-end of the Boom Boomer.

I remember my mom getting all worried if I told her my throat was sore.

I remember not being allowed to go swimming in the public pool.

I remember pictures of kids in the iron lung.

I remember kids in my class and a good friend's mom who had polio.

I remember Jonas Salk.

I remember lining up at the school playground to get that shot.

Dimes don't get it these days. But a dollar from a whole big bunch of people would. A whole big bunch of dollars to go toward whatever that organization (the one that was so important in the lives of so many of us) is working on now.

So TH, c'mon, smile and give 'em a buck for Boomer and I will pay you back if we ever meet.

Boomer (with the long memory)

[clyd709]

Boomer I say Amen to that. I think sometimes we forget about some of horrible things that were no cure for and Thank God For The Wonderfull Medical Progress that we have made some children can now live normal and Happy Lives Because Of This Including The March of Dimes.

[chuckinca]

Wasn't the March of Dimes about Polio? How come they are still collecting when Polio is no longer a major medical issue?


.

[collie1228]

Talk Host, I am in complete agreement with you. It's difficult to bring something like this up, as there will be people who will strongly disagree, but it's a topic that should be discussed. I have no idea who came up with this kind of tactic to raise money, but I find it uncomfortable and don't like it one bit. Just this week I was asked to donate at K-Mart, at a national chain drug store and at a national chain grocery store. Even my gym asked for donations at the end of the year. Enough is enough. I am a little bit embarrassed to say "no", but I generally do. I am a leadership donor to my hometown United Way and give to my employer's charity fund as well. I regularly send checks to my alma mater's scholarship fund, the SPCA, the local food bank and the Boy Scouts. I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable about giving to charity when I'm shopping. This isn't just occasionally - it is all over the place where I live. Maybe it's time to start complaining to the store managers. Boomer, everything you say about the need to give is true - it's just that this method puts people on the spot and IMHO, is inappropriate at the checkout counter of a store.

[SUNNYMARYANN]

:shrug: I avoid our Winn Dixie store on Saturdays just because of the cardtables set up outside the entrance where people ask for money to send a kids to baseball camp or a band to band camp or sell candy or tins of pop corn.

The very last time I went on a Saturday, after not having given money to a man whose kids ball team was soliciting funds the man made a desparaging remark to me for not donating. I kept on walking without saying anything but would have liked to tell him that i had just wired money from the Western Union counter inside the store to pay my adult childs rent and utilities due to the latest layoff. And that the month previous I had done the same for someone else who was in a bind. Those of us who help others when we can would rather know that our limited funds are going to our loved ones in need.

[LvmyPug2]

Having been a professional fundraiser for over 20 years I must say, this is, IMHO, a tacky way for corporate sponsors to raise money for their favorite charity.

Most companies choose a "cause" or charity to support and I applaud this and go out of my way to patronize those who support my favorite charities. However, there are better ways to get their customers involved. Many companys will let their customer know they will match any gift given or more passively offer an opportunity to give through signage, coin collection, etc. What galls me is that corporations who raise money by asking their customer to "add a dollar" often take the publicy for your donation ("XYZ corp gives 1 million to X charity")

My standard line to this question is "no thank you, I prefer to make my gifts directly to the charities of my choice".

No need for embarrassment. Just say no thanks

[beady]

The requests at the check out counter never bother me. I think it is a wonderful way to raise money for organizations. As a previous poster said...it's a reminder.
No one needs to be embarrassed by saying no...it is by far the least pressure ...unlike someone ringing your doorbell and asking for a donation...that to me is hard to say no to.
I frankly have never even thought about what the person in front of me in line is doing. I am busy emptying my cart, looking at the strategically placed magazines and definately not watching to see if someone is donating to a cause.

[barb1191]

My favorite charity is the Salvation Army whom I always give to when passing their kiosk. They are never imposing and so very polite, and best of all, they are honest. I don't recall ever hearing any negative commentary about this organization.

Also, I would never feel embarrassed to say no thankyou at the register in Publix when asked to donate. Nothing more need be said in your response. Your choice of donations is your personal business.

[katezbox]

ohdearohdearohdearohdear

Of course I know it's not the buck, TH.

Re. the way of asking for donations: It does not bother me. In fact, I like it because it gives many a chance to give and does not cause a bunch of paperwork and focuses on the charity itself. A lot of people do a little something. Not a big photo op. Just little people doing a little good to do a lot of good.

But back to your issue with me about the buck.....

No war cry intended.

I think most people here if they read much of the stuff I have written for such a long time (all of which really surprised me -- did not know that would happen) get the idea that I write sometimes with an attempted sense of humor. At least I think I do. And if I were talking to you in person, I would be smiling when I said that thing about the buck and you would get it I bet. Writing can carry tone and voice, and I like to think it can carry a smile.

Guess that one did have just a little sass. But I was smiling when I sassed you. And it was not a mean smile. And I still think in person you would have not been offended by my "I will pay you back" comment. And you might even have given me a snappy little comeback.

It is really hard to explain something like this. I guess that's enough trying.

Boomer

Boomer,

I understand completely. I felt the smile in your comments.

I am more mid-Boom range, but I remember a lot about Polio. Two of my husband's brothers are survivors with a good quality of life.

TH - I really do hear your point. When my children were small, there were months that I wouldn't have that extra dollar. Now, I don't like to be asked in so public a way. Like an earlier poster, I say that I already gave. I think these "drive by charity drives" would stop if they were not successful.

Also - before anyone yells at me - I gave to March of Dimes via a handicapped co-worker who walks for them every year. He has raised over $250,000 - and I make sure my employer matches my donation.

K

[zcaveman]

Publix has so many of these donation type programs that I just say "No Thank You" when they start the spiel.

Not embarrassed and don't really care.

Z

[ojm]

This seems self-evident to me. A primary function of a retail business is to make sure that the customer is satisfied. If the customer is not, then you have a problem. Some of you are not embarrassed, annoyed or feel pressured when asked to make a charitable contribution. But others are. Those not so pleased customers find that their shopping experience was diminished. They might decide to shop somewhere else next time.

One respondent indicated that she avoids shopping at a particular supermarket on Saturday due to the solicitations that take place outside. One solicitor even insulted her. This can't be good new for that supermarket.

Finally consider how McDonalds handles this. They keep a container at the counter with a sign suggesting you give up some of your change to help the Ronald McDonald House Foundation. I gave them my change when I made a purchase this morning. I was not solicited, pressured or embarrassed. This seems like a much smarter way to help while building your business.

[Lone Traveller]

TH, as a person who has benefited directly from money collected from United Cerebral Palsy I couldn�t agree more. Making a donation is a private matter and you shouldn�t be bombarded for request every time you leave your home. It should be offered as a silent option. After all how does the person behind you who gives you a tisk-tisk know whether you�re short cash of have just written whatever organization a $1,000.00.

[Sydney]

First, let me say that I think the March of Dimes is a wonderful organization. This has nothing to do with the March of Dimes. What is has to do with is Publix Supermarkets instructing its checkout clerks to say to each customer "would you like to donate a dollar to the March of Dimes."

If there is a "best" way to make my skin crawl, it is to put me on the spot like that in front of other people. It's bad enough if they do it when there is nobody around.

I know there are going to be lots of people who disagree with me and say that it's okay. I believe that it is "knowingly" putting people in an uncomfortable situation, with the full knowledge that most are "embarrassed" to say no. So, I believe it is a tactic to use embarrassment to raise money so that Publix will look good when they present a huge check to the March of Dimes.

How about this approach, "....with your permission, we will deduct one dollar from your total food purchase today, and Publix will donate that to the March of Dimes."

Oh for shame, I think it�s a wonderful way of providing the public a way to donate to a charity. Yes I have my chosen few I prefer to donate to, but I do find it pleasurable to donate to other organizations sometimes.

I have not or have I ever had a problem telling the cashier �no thanks� �not today� or just a simple �no� when asked if I would like to make a charitable donation today. I don�t find it necessary to make excuses or tell some story as to why I don�t want to donate.

I do feel sorry for the cashiers� that are required to ask everyone and then to listen to the customers stories or anger and berating that they may receive from some, it�s not their fault, they are required to ask you.
:rant-rave:

[Talk Host]

Oh for shame,

I do feel sorry for the cashiers’ that are required to ask ........it’s not their fault, they are required to ask you.
:rant-rave:

You make two statemnets here, one berating me and the other supporting me. First you say, "Oh for shame" that I object to this tacky practice. Then you go on to underscore my point by saying you feel sorry for the cashiers for having to ask. Why do you feel sorry for them if you view this as an acceptable practice?

[SteveFromNY]

No need for embarrassment. Just say no thanks



:agree:

Exactly my feelings. No need to feel obliged to give in any way. It's your business, not anyone else's. Like the folks who "can" on street corners, or the HS football team raising money outside of Sams, if you want to give you do, if not you don't. Easy enough. And no one knows your personal situation - maybe you can't give, maybe you just gave, maybe you don't feel strongly about that charity, maybe you don't trust the organization collecting to get a fair amount to the charity, maybe you want to give directly, maybe you're just cranky and not in the mood. Doesn't matter, it's your business and not anyone elses. So just say no thanks.

[joannej]

Sometimes it's the "delivery" and not the "message" that turns you off when it comes to collecting for charities. I remember at work (many years ago) being "strongarmed" about the United Way. Our company strived to be a higher contributor each year than the previous year. Even before I was asked the "question", I had the company employee in my office shaking my hand and handing me a pin before I could respond to how much I was going to give. I did not make much money to begin with, really watched my pennies closely, because I was single living in an apartment. Of course, this was a form of intimidation and I begrudingly gave to the charity because of fear of embarrassment.

[Talk Host]

I think it's plain to see that not everybody is wired the same. For some, it is not an embarrassment to say "no" to a face to face request to give money. Yet there are others, like me, that are more sensitive to that type of situation. I do squirm, I do think that others are watching for my reply, I do feel that it is people like me upon whom they are preying.

I'm not discussing if one should say "yes" or "no" to such a request, I am saying that the whole practice is out of line.
I still contend that the grocery check out line is not the place to put people on the spot.

I have a very, very dear friend who worked for a bank that had a branch office in a supermarket. (This is a veeerrrry big bank). Part of her job was to approach shoppers in the store and hit them up to open an account. She just couldn't be party to that. It was so upsetting to her that she became almost physically ill.

[Boomer]

You make two statemnets here, one berating me and the other supporting me. First you say, "Oh for shame" that I object to this tacky practice. Then you go on to underscore my point by saying you feel sorry for the cashiers for having to ask. Why do you feel sorry for them if you view this as an acceptable practice?

TH,

I know you did not ask me this question. But earlier today I was going to post the same thing about the cashiers. So please bear with me while I elaborate.

In this thread, we see that there are lots of different opinions on the subject.

I am sure cashiers have opinions on the subject, too, and those opinions will vary.

But the customer has a choice to say, "No thanks."

We all know the cashier has no such choice.

And that is why, no matter what we think about being asked to give, some of us feel sorry for the cashiers caught in this.

Ironically, a friend of mine just took a job as a cashier. She has three degrees and had retired but wanted to work a few hours a week at something completely different from all those years of taking all that work home.

I asked her on the first day, "How did it go?"

Her words to me were, "Be nice to cashiers."

And I told her that I always am. (She has been telling me stuff. I told her she could write a book.)

It's a tough world out there "serving" the public.

Heck, sometimes people even try to bite librarians' heads off.

I guess in the situation of being asked to give in the grocery line, I just don't see it as being about me. Nobody notices or cares. Sometimes I smile and give them a buck. Sometimes I smile and say, "No thanks."

Boomer

[GatbTester]

Bravo!

[Canwego2]

Boomer,
You are a great guy....I have to agree with you. I have been blessed with a great retirement and a wonderful life... I smile and give them a buck. I remember the Iron Lungs too.
Life is good

Bob:beer3:

[Canwego2]

Boomer ....I should have said you are great person. I do not know your gender?:shrug:

[Boomer]

Boomer,
You are a great guy....I have to agree with you. I have been blessed with a great retirement and a wonderful life... I smile and give them a buck. I remember the Iron Lungs too.
Life is good

Bob:beer3:

Thanks Canwego2,

But I'm a girl. But since we cannot see each other, I know that you would not necessarily know that. But I bet you know that I am smiling at you.

(And I sure can go down the lane with those Boomer memories sometimes. Back to the 50's when I was a kid reading about Dick and Jane and Spot and they were all running. And those memories of seeing polio and suddenly one day, the fear all went away. But here I go off topic again. Whoops!)

Anyway, just keep smiling and giving them a buck. And I will, too.

Boomer

[borjo]

The people outside of Publix, especially youth, bother me when I have to tell them "No" after they ask for a donation. I'm sorry, but there are so many groups I am considering going elsewhere to shop. I give heartily to only 2 organizations of which the diseases have touched our family and get truly tired of being asked so frequently either inside or outside. You're right, it is embarrassing.

[Talk Host]

Boomer,
I smile and give them a buck. I remember the Iron Lungs too.
Life is good

Bob:beer3:

LIke all of you, I remember the iron lungs.

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o69/talkofthevillages/iron_lung_ward-rancho_los_amigos_ho.gif


I'm not talking about the charity they've selected, it's the tactic. What if it wasn't the March of Dimes, what if it was some charity that you wanted nothing to do with at all, and you were asked every single time you went through the line. Every single time, for weeks. Would it diminish your pleasant shopping experience?

[Canwego2]

Point well taken TH. :agree: However, at least its not like the many places I have visited like China, Mexico and South America (just to mention a few) that you have the homeless and the poor crippled children begging in the streets. That really pulls on my heart strings... Hopefully, with all the billions congress has pledged to give to all the states some of these charities will be solvent again. Good Topic...makes you think.

Life is good

[BobKat1]

LIke all of you, I remember the iron lungs.

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o69/talkofthevillages/iron_lung_ward-rancho_los_amigos_ho.gif


I'm not talking about the charity they've selected, it's the tactic. What if it wasn't the March of Dimes, what if it was some charity that you wanted nothing to do with at all, and you were asked every single time you went through the line. Every single time, for weeks. Would it diminish your pleasant shopping experience?

That was my understanding of the topic. I thought it was a good one.

[Boomer]

LIke all of you, I remember the iron lungs.

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o69/talkofthevillages/iron_lung_ward-rancho_los_amigos_ho.gif


I'm not talking about the charity they've selected, it's the tactic. What if it wasn't the March of Dimes, what if it was some charity that you wanted nothing to do with at all, and you were asked every single time you went through the line. Every single time, for weeks. Would it diminish your pleasant shopping experience?

Hey TH,

I get it, too. Always did. Just thought I was in a conversation I guess. But now I really get it.

Anyway, you are coming through loud and clear.

(You are 59, TH.)

88, Boomer

[aln]

I disagree with you TH

It's the old "out-a-sight - out-a-mind" .

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!

I'm never offended when someone asks for help.

Yet when someone has a problem and is in a bind I always say, "Why didn't you say something".

[MMC24]

When ever I am confronted with this situation and asked to donate my standard reply is "Thank you for asking but I have already donated to this organization" and go on my merry way. No discomfort encountered. This way I do not have to say no or feel that I have to donate because of pressure. I have yet to have the cashier say, Oh but would you like to donate again?

[Hancle704]

With the economy being the way it is, many Charities are feeling the pinch and are using all kinds of approaches. I have noticed lately at Publix, that there is hardly a week that goes by when the Cashier does not ask if you would like to add a donation to (fill in the blank). I recall that Publix and some other area stores permit some charities and organizations to solicit at front of store at different times of year, (K of C, Lions, Girl Scouts, etc). Just wonder why they don't use this same method for all, instead of asking at register.

I am also bothered by some charities, who know that you have donated in past, then use paid "volunteers" who call you and ask that you use your postage stamps and send appeal envelopes to 10-12 of your neighbors. My answer to them is the always the same, "I will consider responding to a direct appeal mailed to me, but I absolutely will not respond to telephone solicitations and further, will not solicit from my neighbors."

[Talk Host]

"Thank you for asking but I have already donated to this organization" ?

Is that always the "truth?"

[Sally Jo]

I agree, Hancle. I hate it when someone calls and asks me to solicit my neighbors. I tell them, no way. I don't like it when I get solicited from the neighbors, either. Also, Joanne, I agree with you about United Way. As a former teacher the reprepresentative from UW was at school the first week. Pressure was put on us because the principal wanted a 100% contribution, from his school. I guess it made him look good to the administration. I always gave, but resented it. I have my own charities that I want to give to. United Way had a large percentage of money that went to administrative cost and salaries. I prefer charities that have the vast amount of money actually go for the cause.

[nONIE]

I get so annoyed when you donate to a charity and they send you a cheapo t shirt or some other gift. This absolutely defeats the purpose of the donation! The donation is meant to go completely to the cause, not to send out a gazillion t-shirts or calanders. Well, thats my 2 cents.:grumpy:

[inda50]

This seems self-evident to me. A primary function of a retail business is to make sure that the customer is satisfied. If the customer is not, then you have a problem. Some of you are not embarrassed, annoyed or feel pressured when asked to make a charitable contribution. But others are. Those not so pleased customers find that their shopping experience was diminished. They might decide to shop somewhere else next time.

One respondent indicated that she avoids shopping at a particular supermarket on Saturday due to the solicitations that take place outside. One solicitor even insulted her. This can't be good new for that supermarket.

Finally consider how McDonalds handles this. They keep a container at the counter with a sign suggesting you give up some of your change to help the Ronald McDonald House Foundation. I gave them my change when I made a purchase this morning. I was not solicited, pressured or embarrassed. This seems like a much smarter way to help while building your business.


I fell better about this approach, thanks for the suggestion

[chelsea24]

I can't believe this thread is still going on, but I'll jump in.

Truth be told, that cashier doesn't give a "rat's behind" whether you contribute or not. She's thinking about what's for dinner, her feet hurt, her kid has a cold, probably many, many things. You are not the center of her Universe.

It's very simple to say "no" or "not at this time" or "I did already" which ever applies.

I personally have two charities I always contribute to. They are reliable and over 95 percent of what they collect actually goes to the charity.

So, if you don't want to contribute, just suck it up and say NO! :shrug:

[Barefoot]

My favorite charity is the Salvation Army whom I always give to when passing their kiosk. They are never imposing and so very polite, and best of all, they are honest. I don't recall ever hearing any negative commentary about this organization.

Also, I would never feel embarrassed to say no thankyou at the register in Publix when asked to donate. Nothing more need be said in your response. Your choice of donations is your personal business.


Barb, I like your cool-headed and dignified response.

And we agree on the Salvation Army - it is also one of my favourite charities.

[Talk Host]

I can't believe this thread is still going on, but I'll jump in.

:shrug:

I think it's still going on because people have a sense of particiaption in this topic. That's what the forum is about, people talking about what interests or concerns them.

[MMC24]

Is that always the "truth?"

Not always, but I figure if they have the balls to ask for a donation in front of everyone trying to pressure me into action, than I have the balls to lie to them.

But, I donate to the United Way which covers many of the local organizations. (IE Visiting Nurses, Boy Scouts, Home Health Care, etc, etc, etc.)

[conn8757]

I don't mind telling an adult no, but it sure is hard to say no to any kids in front of the Publix door - now how are you going to do that? If I do, I feel bad all the way through the store and have to give them something on the way out. I like to give to Salvation Army, Goodwill, or just a person on the street. He might go buy a bottle of wine with it, but at least I don't feel bad all day that he might really have been hungry.

[collie1228]

This was in today's Slate Mag on-line (Yes, I'm a very conservative Republican, but I do read that liberal rag, Slate). I think this is a very level headed discussion of this issue, from the Ask Patty and Sandy section of the magazine:

Dear Patty and Sandy,
I am growing increasingly resentful of the store clerks who ask me if I'd like to donate $1 to cure cancer, help homeless pets, feed the homeless, cure muscular dystrophy, etc., every time I shop. While they are all good causes, I don't donate to anything that I don't have an opportunity to look into myself. Should I just give? Invest the time to ask for more information every time I go to the store? Ask to speak to the manager? Is there a Web site that critiques the charities?
Eva

Sandy's response:
You�re not along, Eva. These supermarket �asks� have become ubiquitous. Here is an article featuring an annoyed shopper who is actually driving out of her way to avoid the please at her local Safeway. On the other hand, Safeway says it drummed up more than $40 million in checkout-line donations in 2007. So what do you do when you�re asked to cure cancer every time you need a gallon of milk? Start by looking at where the money is going. Recognize the name? Care about the issue? Respect the organization? Then give your nickel instead of letting it rattle around in the bottom of your purse. Would you rather give to homeless people than homeless pets? Then save your nickels, fill up a jar, and take it to a Coinstar machine, where you can choose from several well-known charities, from Feeding America to the World Wildlife Fund. According to the IRS's last published data (from 2005), there are 807,421 active nonprofit charitable organizations. It's no wonder we're being asked to give every time we turn around, and you absolutely shouldn't feel bad for just saying no. As my mom and I told Erica in a recent column, the best way to donate is to take the time to figure out a few good charities, make a giving plan, and stick to it. There are a lot of ways to rank charities: Charity Navigator, GuideStar, and the Better Business Bureau are good places to start.

Patty's response:
I've got an easier answer than Sandy's: Just say, "Thanks, but I've got my own giving plan!" and move on. You should feel great that you have a plan (you do have a plan, right?), and you shouldn't ever feel bad about saying no. I never give to these quick-change fundraisers myself, but I don't resent their presence, either. Most organizations that resort to checkout-line fundraising are trying their best to raise awareness and a bit of money at the same time. If it doesn't work, they'll get the message and try another approach.

[dillywho]

I don't mind telling an adult no, but it sure is hard to say no to any kids in front of the Publix door - now how are you going to do that? If I do, I feel bad all the way through the store and have to give them something on the way out. I like to give to Salvation Army, Goodwill, or just a person on the street. He might go buy a bottle of wine with it, but at least I don't feel bad all day that he might really have been hungry.

My late brother-in-law in Arizona had a unique way of dealing with a person on the street asking for money to eat. (Oops, not a good sentence...they didn't want to eat money.) He would offer to buy them groceries and would even to take them to the store if need be, but would not give them money. He did, too, if they wanted (take them). After he retired from Kawasaki, he drove a city bus in Needles, Calif. It was nothing for him to call his wife at work and have her stop by somewhere and pick up shoes for some of the ones who rode his bus or their kids. She would also pack extra sandwiches for him everyday in case someone riding was hungry. Some of the people were homeless and he would pay for them to ride around just to get out of the heat on the really hot days. He really cared for others.

[conn8757]

Dillywho - your brother must have been awesome - and I am sure he stored up in his treasures in heaven as the bible says with his good deeds and love for his fellow man. It sounds like he got right to the solution of the problems.

[captain1202]

How about a business card sized card you could hand to clerks that said some like: "Please respect my privacy and do not ask for donations. I handle my own charitable giving?"

Unfortunately, recent disclosures have shown that oftentimes very little of the donated money given to many charities actually goes to productive work and is often sidetracked to meaningless administrative expenses. Thanks, I'll do my own research.