Just Because I'm Blonde...

[REDCART]

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Helloooo,...........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.


So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Hellooooo? It's been a year I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

[Shirleevee]

This is so funny!

[nONIE]

ya got me GR, and Im not even blonde!:oops:

[chuckinca]

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and
finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in
the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,



"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."


Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of
cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the
voice bellowed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the
ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more,



"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."


She stopped, looked skyward, and said,
"IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice replied,

"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK"

[Doreen]

This joke is fantastic-I needed a good laugh.

[REDCART]

Whenever I post a blonde joke, I cringe a little but it's probably less offensive than Polish jokes.

[REDCART]

A contestant, Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau.

If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000...
If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover.


It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot.. She did not know the answer.

She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All
that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because........ Her friend was, well, a blonde.

But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the
question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly:
'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered
employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that
her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes, that is my final answer.'

'That answer is absolutely correct! You are now a
millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you', said the contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'

Sally fainted

[REDCART]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she
decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband
leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka
and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she
if OK.. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that
she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she
wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She
replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it
said...


You'll love this...


Yep. I know you will...



"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

[katezbox]

So.... a man is sitting in a bar and sees three very attractive blonde women, sitting at a table nearby. He sees that they are drinking Dom Perignon. Every few minutes they chant "four to six years, four to six years". He is quite intrigued.

As they are starting on a second bottle of Dom a fourth blonde walks in, carrying a framed jigsaw puzzle of a kitten and puppy. She joins in the champagne drinking and the chanting of "four to six years." The chanting grows louder.

He can no longer contain his curiosity and walks over to their table. He tells them that he is intrigued by their celebration but can't fathom a guess as to why they are chanting and if it has to to with the puzzle. They laugh and one of the women tells him...

"Well, we are all blonde (as you can see) and we have grown tired of being thought of as dumb. And today we have proved it."

"How so," asks the man.

One of the other women replies, "we started putting this puzzle together last week and finished it today. It took us just one week."

(I know you'll love this one, too...)

The man looks puzzled until the women all shreik,








"and the box said, four to six years!"