Bringing wine when invited to dinner

[Tweety Bird]

I was invited to dinner and brought a nice bottle of wine. The hostess finished off the wine she had opened and did not serve mine. I know it is considered a gift for the hostess. But what is the etiquette regarding bringing wine? Should the hostess offer serving the wine that I brought? I really was anxious to try what I brought. Should I have taken it back? What is your opinion on this?

[SALYBOW]

IMHO it is a gift for the host and hostess

[redwitch]

Etiquette says the hostess should thank you for the wine and serve whatever she likes. if you wanted to try the wine, you buy it and serve it at your house.

[manaboutown]

Etiquette says the hostess should thank you for the wine and serve whatever she likes. if you wanted to try the wine, you buy it and serve it at your house.

:agree:

From what the OP wrote it seems to me the hostess had selected wine(s) to go with the meal/courses she was serving.

Bon appétit!

[Ecuadog]

Etiquette says the hostess should thank you for the wine and serve whatever she likes. if you wanted to try the wine, you buy it and serve it at your house.

... From what the OP wrote it seems to me the hostess had selected wine(s) to go with the meal/courses she was serving. ...

Bingo.

[BK001]

" ... Should I have taken it back? What is your opinion on this?"

Dear lord, NO! Why on earth would you even think of taking back a gift? I can only imagine the conversation with the hostess ... Uh, since you didn't serve it, may I please have my wine back. Ouch!

But I don't think you really meant that.

[Rapscallion St Croix]

I don't know much about etiquette, but I am learning...a work in progress. I recently discovered that it is considered tacky to take a cooler to church. Won't be going to that church again.

[Madelaine Amee]

We always take wine when invited out. We also always take a good wine and certainly would never expect to take it home if it was not used that evening. As the others said, it's a gift to Host and Hostess.

Buy another bottle of what you took, make a nice meal and try it at home yourself!

[Tweety Bird]

I don't know much about etiquette, but I am learning...a work in progress. I recently discovered that it is considered tacky to take a cooler to church. Won't be going to that church again.

LMAO!!!! I'll bring the bread!

[Bogie Shooter]

Really?

[Tweety Bird]

We always take wine when invited out. We also always take a good wine and certainly would never expect to take it home if it was not used that evening. As the others said, it's a gift to Host and Hostess.

Buy another bottle of what you took, make a nice meal and try it at home yourself!

Actually, I have never taken my wine back.

[thelegges]

Ok was this a rare or hard to acquire bottle of wine? If you were uncomfortable taking the wine due to cost and thought you should take it back is unheard of. Unless you were asked to bring a certain bottle to have with dinner, then your bottle is just that a GIFT.
We have had dinner parties that each course is well planned out and I take extreme time and effort to make sure that each wine matches perfectly with each course. A bottle brought as a gift should be enjoyed at a different time

[SFSkol]

As a wine professional for over 30 years I must say it definitely.......depends.

1. If the bottle is wrapped it is a gift.
2. If not wrapped it is meant to be enjoyed with the meal. (Further indicated by having a corkscrew in the other hand.)

David Copperfield - "I always attend dinner parties with Grape Expectations."

[Buffalo Jim]

I was invited to dinner and brought a nice bottle of wine. The hostess finished off the wine she had opened and did not serve mine. I know it is considered a gift for the hostess. But what is the etiquette regarding bringing wine? Should the hostess offer serving the wine that I brought? I really was anxious to try what I brought. Should I have taken it back? What is your opinion on this?

I think that there is a " Seinfeld " episode which touches on a situation like this .

George `s parents brought an item to a dinner with the parents of George`s girlfriend of the moment .

It wasn`t served and George`s parents wanted it back ........

I`m sure several who read this will recall that episode .

[BK001]

I think that there is a " Seinfeld " episode which touches on a situation like this .

George `s parents brought an item to a dinner with the parents of George`s girlfriend of the moment .

It wasn`t served and George`s parents wanted it back ........

I`m sure several who read this will recall that episode .

Yes. George Costanza and his parent are invited to dinner at George's future in-laws to which they brought a loaf of bread. George's father was so upset that they didn't serve the bread with dinner that George winds up stealing the bread on their way out.
f I'm not mistaken George decides to go back to his future in-laws and breaks into the house to return the bread. Of course in typical Seinfeld fashion, hilarity ensues.

[Laker14]

I make my own wine, and often bring it as a present. Here's the deal: There is no guarantee that the wine you brought will be well received by the dinner guests. When a host or hostess has spent a lot of time preparing a meal and picking out the wine THEY decided would pair nicely with what hey have prepared, it's a bit presumptuous to assume that they will brush that aside for whatever you happened to walk through the door with, unless you've discussed it ahead of time with the cook.

I do appreciate it when at some point the recipient of my gift acknowledges it. Unfortunately, since they know I made it myself, I can never believe I got an honest review.

[retiredguy123]

When I bring wine and they try to serve it, I always say, "I was hoping you had something better than that to drink". But, seriously, the wine you bring is a gift and the host has no obligation to serve it.

[DonH57]

I don't know much about etiquette, but I am learning...a work in progress. I recently discovered that it is considered tacky to take a cooler to church. Won't be going to that church again.

:a20:

[ColdNoMore]

Ok was this a rare or hard to acquire bottle of wine? If you were uncomfortable taking the wine due to cost and thought you should take it back is unheard of. Unless you were asked to bring a certain bottle to have with dinner, then your bottle is just that a GIFT.
We have had dinner parties that each course is well planned out and I take extreme time and effort to make sure that each wine matches perfectly with each course. A bottle brought as a gift should be enjoyed at a different time

The underlined above...says it all.

I've never even heard of someone wanting to get their bottle back...because it wasn't used for a preplanned dinner at someone else's home. :ohdear:

Learn something new every day I guess.

[Tweety Bird]

Yes. George Costanza and his parent are invited to dinner at George's future in-laws to which they brought a loaf of bread. George's father was so upset that they didn't serve the bread with dinner that George winds up stealing the bread on their way out.
f I'm not mistaken George decides to go back to his future in-laws and breaks into the house to return the bread. Of course in typical Seinfeld fashion, hilarity ensues.

These responses are hysterical! This bottle of wine was to my family's house. I just know my sister will slurp it down by herself. I should have grabbed it back to my car while she was in the bathroom! Actually, I have a wine purse. I should have slipped it back in there and replaced it with a Lakeridge!

[Tweety Bird]

As a wine professional for over 30 years I must say it definitely.......depends.

1. If the bottle is wrapped it is a gift.
2. If not wrapped it is meant to be enjoyed with the meal. (Further indicated by having a corkscrew in the other hand.)

David Copperfield - "I always attend dinner parties with Grape Expectations."

Yes. I will bring a cork screw and say "may I" or "allow me". :wine: or, I'll just uncork it and say, "this one needs to breathe"!!!

[l2ridehd]

If you show up with a bottle of wine, it is a gift and the hostess can decide to keep it, serve it, or whatever. If I am going to bring wine I want served, I call before and tell the hostess that I would like to bring a bottle to serve with a dinner course, what will you be serving? After she responds, I say I will bring a bottle for X course if that works OK for you. I chill it if required or get it to whatever the proper temperature is, offer to open it to breathe when the proper time for that is, and voila, my wine is served.

If just a gift I put it in a wine bag and would never expect it to be served. But hey, I can drink Boone's Farm anytime.

[Boomer]

These responses are hysterical! This bottle of wine was to my family's house. I just know my sister will slurp it down by herself. I should have grabbed it back to my car while she was in the bathroom! Actually, I have a wine purse. I should have slipped it back in there and replaced it with a Lakeridge!

AHA! The plot thickens............

[manaboutown]

Oh my! This thread is already into its third page of whining about wine.

[clheidle]

Maybe you will get it back at yourparty

[Topspinmo]

I don't know much about etiquette, but I am learning...a work in progress. I recently discovered that it is considered tacky to take a cooler to church. Won't be going to that church again.

don't want to be smoking either. GOD don't like that, he told somebody. :ohdear:

[Topspinmo]

I'm sometimes invited to play tennis on clay at private resident. I always bring two cans of balls for clay courts and leave them. We also was invited for dinner and took whine, we didn't think of taking it back. I could care less what they do with it. Small token for price of meal.

[ColdNoMore]

These responses are hysterical! This bottle of wine was to my family's house. I just know my sister will slurp it down by herself. I should have grabbed it back to my car while she was in the bathroom! Actually, I have a wine purse. I should have slipped it back in there and replaced it with a Lakeridge!

AHA! The plot thickens............

Yep! :D


It just went from an 'etiquette' issue...to a 'family' one. :popcorn: