Who Proof-Reads These Headlines??

[MMC24]

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter [/SIZE]
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.


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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

[Boomer]

Thank you for starting my day with a laugh. I absolutely love these things and always tried to watch Leno on the nights he did them.

Many, many. many years ago there was an ad in the local paper in the Help Wanted section. The ad was for a receptionist and the ad said "must enjoy pubic contact."

Boomer

[chelsea24]

Receptionist must enjoy pubic contact!!! OMG! That had me laughing out loud!

I, too, love headlines like this. hmmmm.......... maybe we can start a section the way we did for captions!

Thanks for posting. :laugh:

[Boomer]

Receptionist must enjoy pubic contact!!! OMG! That had me laughing out loud!

I, too, love headlines like this. hmmmm.......... maybe we can start a section the way we did for captions!

Thanks for posting. :laugh:

Chelsea,

I did not apply for that job, but once, a hundred and fifty years ago, I applied for a receptionist job at a car dealership. When the guy wanted to hire me, he actually said to me, "You are 'cute' enough to be on the front desk, but you are not 'the type' who is so good-looking that you will cause the mechanics to try to hang around you all day and not get any work done."

Now, Chelsea, I ask you...WTH was that supposed to mean????? Geez. Can you imagine somebody saying that nowdays?

Anyway, I translated it as, "Your face is OK, but you are not built like Jennifer on WKRP in Cincinnati."...although my interview was before that show started even, I knew what that guy meant.

So what did I do?

I walked out on him and went to college.

And back to the headlines, they are so much funnier than anything anybody could ever write on purpose. Thanks again, MMC24.

Boomer

[MMC24]

Receptionist must enjoy pubic contact!!! OMG! That had me laughing out loud!

I, too, love headlines like this. hmmmm.......... maybe we can start a section the way we did for captions!

Thanks for posting. :laugh:

Sounds like we could have some fun with it but could it be as successful as the captions thread? Many of the caption's responses were hysterical.

[jblum8156]

Years ago the newspaper I was then working for ran a story in the Food section on home canning.
The headline read
You Can Put Vegetables Up Yourself