Mean Girls at Truman Majongg Today - Monday?

[Villageswimmer]

An experienced Majongg player, I’ve dropped in at various Rec centers to find a game when my schedule allows. I’ve always found welcoming ladies and have met many very nice fellow players who have become friends.

Today I was alone and went to Truman for the first time in hopes of joining a table to play. I was not late, arriving at about 12:15. There were 5 or 6 tables that already had 4 players. There was only one table with 3 ladies.

When I politely asked if I could join the threesome (4 is optimal), I was truly shocked when they refused to let me play. They were not expecting a friend who was late—they just didn’t want me to play with them and made no excuses.

I have never seen mahjongg players so unwelcoming before. Wow. I was hurt and embarrassed and at a loss for words.

Isn’t inclusion a part of participating in Rec center activities? I know this isn’t a big deal. But a little kindness goes a long way.

Perhaps I’ll find a more friendly group next Monday at Truman.

[Rapscallion St Croix]

It was a blessing in disguise. Just think. If they had say yes, you would have spent all that time with three jackasses.

[Nucky]

An experienced Majongg player, I’ve dropped in at various Rec centers to find a game when my schedule allows. I’ve always found welcoming ladies and have met many very nice fellow players who have become friends.

Today I was alone and went to Truman for the first time in hopes of joining a table to play. I was not late, arriving at about 12:15. There were 5 or 6 tables that already had 4 players. There was only one table with 3 ladies.

When I politely asked if I could join the threesome (4 is optimal), I was truly shocked when they refused to let me play. They were not expecting a friend who was late—they just didn’t want me to play with them and made no excuses.

I have never seen mahjongg players so unwelcoming before. Wow. I was hurt and embarrassed and at a loss for words.

Isn’t inclusion a part of participating in Rec center activities? I know this isn’t a big deal. But a little kindness goes a long way.

Perhaps I’ll find a more friendly group next Monday at Truman.

The way I read it is when you live in The Villages the playing field is level for all. It makes every single person the Most Popular Kid In School. I stand to be corrected if I overlooked some ancient Mahjongg Rule but they were way out of line in my opinion and our collective hearts hurt for you. Even the biggest bonehead we all know should be treated properly in a case like this. Thankfully I was not present when this happened. Enough from me, next! :blahblahblah:

[dnobles]

I really learned to appreciate Connie and Karen at (Eisenhower) after my friend and I tried to play at other rec centers. We had similar experience, they’d rather play 5 and rotate then one of them play with the two of us. We left. Connie and Karen have rules they do a great job. Thanks Connie and Karen

[graciegirl]

The way I read it is when you live in The Villages the playing field is level for all. It makes every single person the Most Popular Kid In School. I stand to be corrected if I overlooked some ancient Mahjongg Rule but they were way out of line in my opinion and our collective hearts hurt for you. Even the biggest bonehead we all know should be treated properly in a case like this. Thankfully I was not present when this happened. Enough from me, next! :blahblahblah:

Beautifully said. Not surprising, Nucky. You have a good heart. I am sad for this happening, Villageswimmer.

[thelegges]

OP I was on the golf course this morning, play was a bit slow. The 3 women behind us must be part of mean girls golf. While we stood waiting for foursome to finish putting before we could tee up, they drove up right behind our carts, got out and made comments we were slowing up play.

We tolerated it for first 5 holes, I was about to finally let them know their lack of etiquette when the ambassador drove up smiled and said I need to take care of this.

Admonished them, sent them back away from the Tee, and told him if he saw it again he would have a discussion with the golf pro about their lack of judgment of playing golf.

So OP, no worries you will sometimes find mean girls, or just lack of good judgment, but it’s Few and far between.

[manaboutown]

Rachel Crow - Mean Girls - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTIBDuTxzUw)

[Mortal1]

Strangely enough it's not uncommon for a group not to want a stranger to join them. If a person feels slighted perhaps they are overly sensitive and need a safe space to gather themselves.

[pqrstar]

This could happen to anybody.
Don't take it personal.
Just keep plugging away and soon you will find a group that fits you.

Sometimes you will find that The Villages may not always be the "friendliest hometown."
I think that since practically everyone here is from somewhere else, it is more friendly than most other places.

[Buffalo Jim]

Villageswimmer : Those 3 were most likely going to be engaged in their plan to write a lot of " letters " to the phony online " news-site " to promote the elimination of the Recreation News so that they could " save " about $1 per month in their Amenity Fees ! : )

Most likely they didn't`t want you to become aware of their " grass-roots " plot .

Sorry this happened to you and good for you that you are willing to speak up about it .

[billethkid]

Girls???????

[BobnBev]

If you're young and pretty, they probably felt threatened.:a20::a20:

[kstew43]

Its not just mean girls.... its also mean men....

Tuttle Mound. 12:15 tee time scheduled ahead for yesterday, hubby was joined with a threesome and I was a spectator.

Hubby tells me that One of the golfers said to the starter, he had thought he was going to be a two some, but was not at all happy to be paired up into a threesome and then find out its a foursome with a wife ride along..

and he was not at all fun to play with for the 9 holes and it wasn't because he was a great player and didn't want to play with amateures....because he wasn't all that good himself...

My guess, he had left to play golf and get away from his wife, and another player showed up with their wife...

too bad...so sad...for him and ultimately us as well

So, don't feel bad, its not just you...it happens to all of us...

[ColdNoMore]

I think that "Minnesota Nice" is one of the most disingenuous ways to deal with people. I much prefer someone being direct and blunt, not rude, than smile to my face and pretend they like me. I totally respect blunt people no matter where they are from.

Yep.

I'll take the person who speaks their mind in plain language, over the passive-aggressive, fake niceness types...any day. :ho:



"Bless y'alls little heart." :1rotfl:

[fw102807]

I respect tolerance more than anything. I am nice to anyone who is nice to me regardless of what their background, skin color religion or anything else is. Maybe that is because I came from the Northeast.

[dillywho]

Strangely enough it's not uncommon for a group not to want a stranger to join them. If a person feels slighted perhaps they are overly sensitive and need a safe space to gather themselves.

No, these rude people (not just ladies, either) need to get over themselves. Unless it is a closed group, as in an organized club, then anyone should be free to join. The rec center open activities are not exclusive to any one person or clique.

I am sorry you had to experience such behavior. Hopefully, you do not think we are all like this petty little group.

[dillywho]

I respect tolerance more than anything. I am nice to anyone who is nice to me regardless of what their background, skin color religion or anything else is. Maybe that is because I came from the Northeast.

Well said! It's all about upbringing, not demographics.

[Bogie Shooter]

OP I was on the golf course this morning, play was a bit slow. The 3 women behind us must be part of mean girls golf. While we stood waiting for foursome to finish putting before we could tee up, they drove up right behind our carts, got out and made comments we were slowing up play.

We tolerated it for first 5 holes, I was about to finally let them know their lack of etiquette when the ambassador drove up smiled and said I need to take care of this.

Admonished them, sent them back away from the Tee, and told him if he saw it again he would have a discussion with the golf pro about their lack of judgment of playing golf.

So OP, no worries you will sometimes find mean girls, or just lack of good judgment, but it’s Few and far between.

A point not to be missed here. The ambassador took care of the problem. Too often they are criticized for not handling problems.

[dillywho]

A point not to be missed here. The ambassador took care of the problem. Too often they are criticized for not handling problems.

Good point...good for that Ambassador. Apparently, those ladies don't know very much about golf etiquette.

[Carla B]

Back to the OP's original complaint. If those three women wanted to be alone, they could have held their game at one of their homes. As Dillywho says, the rec centers are open.

[Villageswimmer]

Back to the OP's original complaint. If those three women wanted to be alone, they could have held their game at one of their homes. As Dillywho says, the rec centers are open.

:agree:OP here. Thanks to those who shared on-topic comments. Didn’t expect this to morph into what it did. Hopefully, it served as a reminder to treat others as you would like to be treated. Namaste.

[tomwed]

"Bless y'alls little heart." :1rotfl:
I'm from the NE. I was listening to a station down here that played a lot of Rap. There was more then one dj and the conversations were funny and interesting. Anyway the one guy is telling a northerner when an older southern woman says "Bless your heart" that's not what she means at all. I was very surprised and now I listen for the phrase and laugh at the person walking away that thinks they were just blessed.

[happy@last]

there are several mean girls in TV..it is very clicky...sorry just want to express ..paradise not for everyone...sorry, that's my opinion.

[ColdNoMore]

I'm from the NE. I was listening to a station down here that played a lot of Rap. There was more then one dj and the conversations were funny and interesting. Anyway the one guy is telling a northerner when an older southern woman says "Bless your heart" that's not what she means at all. I was very surprised and now I listen for the phrase and laugh at the person walking away that thinks they were just blessed.

While not from the NE, I too was surprised when I learned that this southern saying...is actually a huge putdown. :D

[fw102807]

Thank you to the mods for cleaning this up. I am now going back to the classifieds.

[graciegirl]

While not from the NE, I too was surprised when I learned that this southern saying...is actually a huge putdown. :D

Actually. Bless your heart can mean that you are wished well, or wished to hell.............and manners are great tools to keep you from smacking someone in the mouth when they so need it.

And sarcasm is sarcasm and usually funny no matter where you hail from. Common sense and a sense of humor can open doors and hearts everywhere. Sometimes a wink is a help too.

[manaboutown]

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:
Girls???????

[Nucky]

Actually. Bless your heart USUALLY means Bless your heart sometimes said Dominus Vobiscum...... And thoughts and prayers means thoughts and prayers most of the time, and manners are great tools to keep you from smacking someone in the mouth when they so need it.

Hey Mrs. Gracie. My mom told us that Dominus vobiscum
Et-Dum Spiritu Tuo Oh was the phone number to heaven. We tried to dial it but it had no area code? :Screen_of_Death:

I just said to myself after reading a snotty reply to a post today well Bless that Old Mans Heart. Forgiving and trying to forget. I just looked it up and it meant what I felt. Who would have ever known? :a20:

[ColdNoMore]

Actually. Bless your heart USUALLY means Bless your heart sometimes said Dominus Vobiscum...... And thoughts and prayers means thoughts and prayers most of the time, and manners are great tools to keep you from smacking someone in the mouth when they so need it.

Bless your little heart. :1rotfl: :1rotfl:

[jdsl1998]

I may have been in the group that you are speaking of at the MahJongg game at the rec. center this past Monday. In reading your posting, I realize that you felt hurt, for that I am very sad and sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings; in doing so, I can learn from our mistake. Thanks for opening my eyes, I truly hope you come back and if we have three players, I welcome you to play with us.

[ColdNoMore]

I may have been in the group that you are speaking of at the MahJongg game at the rec. center this past Monday. In reading your posting, I realize that you felt hurt, for that I am very sad and sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings; in doing so, I can learn from our mistake. Thanks for opening my eyes, I truly hope you come back and if we have three players, I welcome you to play with us.

Very :cool:...good for you! :thumbup:

[manaboutown]

While not from the NE, I too was surprised when I learned that this southern saying...is actually a huge putdown. :D

Southern Insults 101: Things Your Mama Taught You - One Country (https://www.onecountry.com/lifestyle/southern-insults-101-things-your-mama-taught-you/)

[Kenswing]

I may have been in the group that you are speaking of at the MahJongg game at the rec. center this past Monday. In reading your posting, I realize that you felt hurt, for that I am very sad and sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings; in doing so, I can learn from our mistake. Thanks for opening my eyes, I truly hope you come back and if we have three players, I welcome you to play with us.

Classy move.. :thumbup:

[thelegges]

Southern Insults 101: Things Your Mama Taught You - One Country (https://www.onecountry.com/lifestyle/southern-insults-101-things-your-mama-taught-you/)

Yep it’s the code of the south...

I am going to slap you into next Tuesday. I loved that one.

[Boudicca]

Consider yourself blessed by not playing with them.

[CFrance]

Yep it’s the code of the south...

I am going to slap you into next Tuesday. I loved that one.
That one is hardly subtle!:a20:

[graciegirl]

I may have been in the group that you are speaking of at the MahJongg game at the rec. center this past Monday. In reading your posting, I realize that you felt hurt, for that I am very sad and sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings; in doing so, I can learn from our mistake. Thanks for opening my eyes, I truly hope you come back and if we have three players, I welcome you to play with us.

You are a very nice person to say this.

[Nucky]

What a total winner you are for owning up, a true rarity nowadays. Nothing like a great ending. I hope the OP decimates you girls during you next meet. You will probably turn out to be great friends.

[Villageswimmer]

I may have been in the group that you are speaking of at the MahJongg game at the rec. center this past Monday. In reading your posting, I realize that you felt hurt, for that I am very sad and sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings; in doing so, I can learn from our mistake. Thanks for opening my eyes, I truly hope you come back and if we have three players, I welcome you to play with us.


OP here. I admire you for your heartfelt post. You didn’t have to respond—most people wouldn’t have—but I’m so glad you did. Thanks!

[thelegges]

That one is hardly subtle!:a20:

In the south it’s more of a statement than a threat. It means pay attention to what I just told you to do. Same as “do I need to stop this car”, instead it was do I have to slap you into next Tuesday. My mammy, she was 90, used to say it when one did something really bad, of course she laughed when she said it, unless you were disrespectful and then you got the look.

[Deseylou]

Unfortunately cliques are everywhere.
Have you ever been to bunco at Lake Miona on a Sunday? Holy smokes, some of those ladies are just awful.
We live in a village that sometimes monthly get togethers at the rec center.
We went to one and tried to sit at 3seperate tables.
All 3 said they were saving seats.
We haven’t been to one since
.

[Madelaine Amee]

Unfortunately cliques are everywhere.
Have you ever been to bunco at Lake Miona on a Sunday? Holy smokes, some of those ladies are just awful.
We live in a village that sometimes monthly get togethers at the rec center.
We went to one and tried to sit at 3seperate tables.
All 3 said they were saving seats.
We haven’t been to one since
.

At one time I thought I would join the NH Club. The first meeting I went to I sat at an empty table expecting people to join me, and they did and I tried to make conversation with them, but no one at the table spoke to me or asked me what part of NH I came from. I went again, and this time approached a table with three ladies sitting there .... No, cannot sit there, people coming. I moved off and watched and no one came .................. and that was it for me.

I think I should start a club called Publix Deli People, because every time I stand in line at the Deli Counter I meet the nicest people living here and end up having the most interesting conversations ... really every time, where are they when they leave the Deli Counter!

[fw102807]

Why does everyone expect that coming to The Villages is automatically supposed to make everyone a saint. The Villages is just a cross section of not only the US but the World. We all bring our bad behavior with us. I am amazed that people are so surprised when these things happen.

[graciegirl]

Why does everyone expect that coming to The Villages is automatically supposed to make everyone a saint. The Villages is just a cross section of not only the US but the World. We all bring our bad behavior with us. I am amazed that people are so surprised when these things happen.

Well said. VERY well said.

[yabbadu]

An experienced Majongg player, I’ve dropped in at various Rec centers to find a game when my schedule allows. I’ve always found welcoming ladies and have met many very nice fellow players who have become friends.

Today I was alone and went to Truman for the first time in hopes of joining a table to play. I was not late, arriving at about 12:15. There were 5 or 6 tables that already had 4 players. There was only one table with 3 ladies.

When I politely asked if I could join the threesome (4 is optimal), I was truly shocked when they refused to let me play. They were not expecting a friend who was late—they just didn’t want me to play with them and made no excuses.

I have never seen mahjongg players so unwelcoming before. Wow. I was hurt and embarrassed and at a loss for words.

Isn’t inclusion a part of participating in Rec center activities? I know this isn’t a big deal. But a little kindness goes a long way.

Perhaps I’ll find a more friendly group next Monday at Truman.

Just Remember......You cannot fix STUPID PEOPLE...:wave:

[Madelaine Amee]

Why does everyone expect that coming to The Villages is automatically supposed to make everyone a saint. The Villages is just a cross section of not only the US but the World. We all bring our bad behavior with us. I am amazed that people are so surprised when these things happen.

A little common decency would help ........

[fw102807]

A little common decency would help ........

In a perfect world....

[duffysmom]

:faint:Strangely enough it's not uncommon for a group not to want a stranger to join them. If a person feels slighted perhaps they are overly sensitive and need a safe space to gather themselves.

:faint:

[CFrance]

At one time I thought I would join the NH Club. The first meeting I went to I sat at an empty table expecting people to join me, and they did and I tried to make conversation with them, but no one at the table spoke to me or asked me what part of NH I came from. I went again, and this time approached a table with three ladies sitting there .... No, cannot sit there, people coming. I moved off and watched and no one came .................. and that was it for me.

I think I should start a club called Publix Deli People, because every time I stand in line at the Deli Counter I meet the nicest people living here and end up having the most interesting conversations ... really every time, where are they when they leave the Deli Counter!
This is priceless. And so true.

[fw102807]

At one time I thought I would join the NH Club. The first meeting I went to I sat at an empty table expecting people to join me, and they did and I tried to make conversation with them, but no one at the table spoke to me or asked me what part of NH I came from. I went again, and this time approached a table with three ladies sitting there .... No, cannot sit there, people coming. I moved off and watched and no one came .................. and that was it for me.

I think I should start a club called Publix Deli People, because every time I stand in line at the Deli Counter I meet the nicest people living here and end up having the most interesting conversations ... really every time, where are they when they leave the Deli Counter!

Definitely their loss since you have a good sense of humor

[tomwed]

At one time I thought I would join the NH Club. The first meeting I went to I sat at an empty table expecting people to join me, and they did and I tried to make conversation with them, but no one at the table spoke to me or asked me what part of NH I came from. I went again, and this time approached a table with three ladies sitting there .... No, cannot sit there, people coming. I moved off and watched and no one came .................. and that was it for me.

I think I should start a club called Publix Deli People, because every time I stand in line at the Deli Counter I meet the nicest people living here and end up having the most interesting conversations ... really every time, where are they when they leave the Deli Counter!Don't let them fool you. I think it's a thinly sliced cold cult, not very friendly at all. I overheard one of them saying that at the next meeting their leader will be there, the Deli Llama. They may have been roll playing.

[ColdNoMore]

Don't let them fool you. I think it's a thinly sliced cold cult, not very friendly at all. I overheard one of them saying that at the next meeting their leader will be there, the Deli Llama. They may have been roll playing.

:1rotfl:

I do think CFrance has a good point though, in the fact that the Deli area...is a good place to meat new people.



:D

[BobnBev]

Don't let them fool you. I think it's a thinly sliced cold cult, not very friendly at all. I overheard one of them saying that at the next meeting their leader will be there, the Deli Llama. They may have been roll playing.

I've always been a hot dog. I'd tell them I'll set my buns down where ever I want. That would put them in a pickle.:a20::girlneener::a20::girlneener::a20:

[tomwed]

:1rotfl:

I do think CFrance has a good point though, in the fact that the Deli area...is a good place to meat new people.



:Dgood one---if i can be serious for a minute I also noticed how friendly deli people are too---I worked in a deli---it was my first job with working papers---but now that i'm older I get deli stage fright---i stand there, waiting for my turn, rehearsing over and over in my head " a 1/2 a pound of roast beef, a 1/2 a pound of swiss"---how dumb is that?

[fw102807]

Don't let them fool you. I think it's a thinly sliced cold cult, not very friendly at all. I overheard one of them saying that at the next meeting their leader will be there, the Deli Llama. They may have been roll playing.

:1rotfl: You cracker me up!