Online romance scam - advice needed!

[LuauLinda]

I need advice fast, a month ago my sister in law in TV has gotten sucked into what we believe is a typical online dating scam with a man who is very sketchy: an American living in Aleppo, Syria working for our government as a secret photographer on a ten million dollar contract. His wife died in childbirth and his daughter is in a boarding school in Texas. (This scenario is the exact same story I have read about that many other women who have gotten scammed describe) Now his “daughter” is now emailing her asking her to be her mommy, and the guy, “John” says he wants to marry her when he returns to the states. Yesterday a third person, his “Assistant” emailed her to say John had been shot and is in the hospital. My sister in law was sobbing with grief althoug it turned out he is okay. I know this is part of the scam, the injury comes right before the plea for her to send money. Before this happens and she totally falls for this, we need to intervene! She is very headstrong and argumentative and cannot see that this whole story is sketchy and creepy. I am trying to find anyone with experience in this area who might be able to talk to her. Any suggestions from anyone? Thank you

[tomwed]

go to
Faking it — scammers’ tricks to steal your heart and money | Page 3 | Consumer Information (https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2015/07/faking-it-scammers-tricks-steal-your-heart-and-money?page=2)

Contact the Federal Trade Commision

Contact the Federal Trade Commission | Federal Trade Commission (https://www.ftc.gov/contact)

[My Post]

So ridiculous that anyone would ever fall for anything like this. You can check up on things so easily with the internet.

What happens when you Google the guys name????? Or look on Linkedin etc etc etc....

[retiredguy123]

If your sister-in-law thinks this is legitimate, I'm surprised she has any money left.

[NotGolfer]

Contact Seniors Againest Crime. Report it to their online site (state location). Does your sister live in The Villages? Wherever she lives can you have a type of intervention with several who know her well??

[jane032657]

This sounds like a sad situation that requires support and not criticism. I would call the Sherriff's office and ask if there is a woman officer who could go over and speak with her, show her some of the links on the computer, and talk about being financially scammed, as well as emotionally. I would expect the woman in this situation is lonely, maybe has some psychosocial issues, does not have a supportive circle of friends, and is feeling captured by the attention and "love" being promised to her. In desperation, one can believe anything if it fills a hole in the heart. I hope the Sherriff's Office/Seniors Against Crime can assist.

[champion6]

This sounds like a sad situation that requires support and not criticism. I would call the Sherriff's office and ask if there is a woman officer who could go over and speak with her, show her some of the links on the computer, and talk about being financially scammed, as well as emotionally. I would expect the woman in this situation is lonely, maybe has some psychosocial issues, does not have a supportive circle of friends, and is feeling captured by the attention and "love" being promised to her. In desperation, one can believe anything if it fills a hole in the heart. I hope the Sherriff's Office/Seniors Against Crime can assist.:agree:

[Toymeister]

Ask the photographer for his job series , if a Federal employee, if a contractor what is his contact number? He would certainly know these. You can Google to verify the numbers or post them here. In a milisecond I can tell if they are genuine

[Gpsma]

It is amazing that people fall for these scams....gullible? Or so desperate for love.

[retiredguy123]

Ask the photographer for his job series , if a Federal employee, if a contractor what is his contact number? He would certainly know these. You can Google to verify the numbers or post them here. In a milisecond I can tell if they are genuine
Do you really need that information to call this a scam?

[LuauLinda]

Thank you, this is a great idea. I have already contacted seniors vs. crime. We will take this advice.

[LuauLinda]

What do you mean by job series? My sister in law would be insulted if we asked her to get a contract number but since she lives with us and we are concerned for ourselves as well, I think we may be able to insist on it.

[Toymeister]

Do you really need that information to call this a scam?
The question was how do I convince someone that this is a scam. Yes you do need evidence to show someone who has not already recognized it as a scam.

[retiredguy123]

What do you mean by job series? My sister in law would be insulted if we asked her to get a contract number but since she lives with us and we are concerned for ourselves as well, I think we may be able to insist on it.
I think he was referring to a contact phone number for the photographer's employer, not a contract number. A job series is a number defining a Government job, such as 0810.

[Toymeister]

What do you mean by job series? My sister in law would be insulted if we asked her to get a contract number but since she lives with us and we are concerned for ourselves as well, I think we may be able to insist on it.

A job series is just like a military occupational series. Everyone has one, you know it from the day you are hired. A scammer would not think about that.

A contract number is not private a contractor knows this. Ok just ask for the first six to eight characters, that is enough. It is not remotely like a social security number, again this is common knowledge.

[villagetinker]

Take a look in the Daily Sun, I forget which day, but at least once a week there is a listing of volunteer organizations, there maybe one that can help you. If you do not get this paper, try calling them and see if they can give you contact info.

[Carl in Tampa]

I think he was referring to a contact phone number for the photographer's employer, not a contract number. A job series is a number defining a Government job, such as 0810.

0810 = Civil Engineer

1811 = Criminal Investigator

[Toymeister]

The contract number is necessary to eat at the DFAC (chow hall), it is needed for milair (flights). Source: me, five tours in theater, Inspector General, contracts

[Taltarzac725]

This sounds like a sad situation that requires support and not criticism. I would call the Sherriff's office and ask if there is a woman officer who could go over and speak with her, show her some of the links on the computer, and talk about being financially scammed, as well as emotionally. I would expect the woman in this situation is lonely, maybe has some psychosocial issues, does not have a supportive circle of friends, and is feeling captured by the attention and "love" being promised to her. In desperation, one can believe anything if it fills a hole in the heart. I hope the Sherriff's Office/Seniors Against Crime can assist.

Nice compassionate response. I like it. I have been receiving scams like this since 1998 or so. They have many modifications and most play on someone else's good intentions. The ones in 1998 were via snail mail and postmarked with Nigeria.

[Villageswimmer]

This sounds like a sad situation that requires support and not criticism. I would call the Sherriff's office and ask if there is a woman officer who could go over and speak with her, show her some of the links on the computer, and talk about being financially scammed, as well as emotionally. I would expect the woman in this situation is lonely, maybe has some psychosocial issues, does not have a supportive circle of friends, and is feeling captured by the attention and "love" being promised to her. In desperation, one can believe anything if it fills a hole in the heart. I hope the Sherriff's Office/Seniors Against Crime can assist.


Please follow this advice. I’ve worked with many scam victims and they can feel very embarrassed. They want to believe the story is true. She needs your support and understanding.

[Taltarzac725]

Please follow this advice. I’ve worked with many scam victims and they can feel very embarrassed. They want to believe the story is true. She needs your support and understanding.

Advance-fee scam - Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam#Romance_scam)

More information about the Romance type scam. Romance scam - Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_scam)

[Cobh521]

I would contact seniors vs crime. They may have some information that can assist you

[Marathon Man]

This sounds like a sad situation that requires support and not criticism. I would call the Sherriff's office and ask if there is a woman officer who could go over and speak with her, show her some of the links on the computer, and talk about being financially scammed, as well as emotionally. I would expect the woman in this situation is lonely, maybe has some psychosocial issues, does not have a supportive circle of friends, and is feeling captured by the attention and "love" being promised to her. In desperation, one can believe anything if it fills a hole in the heart. I hope the Sherriff's Office/Seniors Against Crime can assist.

Agree. Unfortunately they are getting some of both.

[SFSkol]

It appears here the key is to stop the email communications. As long as there has been no other method of contact, this might work.

Call your sister and tell her that you have been receiving dialy email messages from her that your mail virus scanner has been catching as containing a serious virus. Have other family members also call her with the same issue. This virus will attach itself to every message she sends out forever, Your sister should then start a new email account, Gmail is fine. Say you believe it is completely unrelated to her scammer. She can transfer her contact addresses. Now the scammer will be communicating with a different address than the original. Should scare them off since they might believe the authorities might be now monitoring it. (or better yet even start a new account without transferring the contacts.)

This has worked twice for me with customers with a cash mail scam issue.

Good luck!

Also: Email providers have a method of blocking specific address from going into the inbox. If you can get on her machines that might also work.

[jnieman]

The Dr. Phil show has been helping out with these overseas boyfriend scams for years. I have watched several of his shows where he proves to the woman how she is being scammed.

[Tmcbride]

Banks catch this stuff all the time. If you know where she banks ask them to put an alert on her account to notify her account officer if she asks to wire money or withdraws a lot of cash. They cannot discuss her account with you but they might help. I work for a bank and we would.

[Toymeister]

Have an IT person show her where (the country) the emails originated from. This technology is known to IT specialists.

[ColdNoMore]

I need advice fast, a month ago my sister in law in TV has gotten sucked into what we believe is a typical online dating scam with a man who is very sketchy: an American living in Aleppo, Syria working for our government as a secret photographer on a ten million dollar contract. His wife died in childbirth and his daughter is in a boarding school in Texas. (This scenario is the exact same story I have read about that many other women who have gotten scammed describe) Now his “daughter” is now emailing her asking her to be her mommy, and the guy, “John” says he wants to marry her when he returns to the states. Yesterday a third person, his “Assistant” emailed her to say John had been shot and is in the hospital. My sister in law was sobbing with grief althoug it turned out he is okay. I know this is part of the scam, the injury comes right before the plea for her to send money. Before this happens and she totally falls for this, we need to intervene! She is very headstrong and argumentative and cannot see that this whole story is sketchy and creepy. I am trying to find anyone with experience in this area who might be able to talk to her. Any suggestions from anyone? Thank you

Let me start by saying...that I don't envy the position you've been put in.

However, one bright spot is the fact that at least you know about it now and have the opportunity to help...before something irrevocable is done.

I've thought about it since you originally posted this and I think I would do a lot of what has already been mentioned by other posters...but might even take an extra step.

Not knowing (or nosy enough to care) of why or how your SIL came to live with you, it might be that she is going through a bout of depression...and is pretty vulnerable at this time.

Consequently, and if at all possible, you might give some thought to trying to get your SIL in to talk to a professional...regarding what's going on in her life in general.

The fact that you are so close to the situation (and mentioned that she is stubborn/argumentative), it might pay...to have a total (qualified) outsider talk to her.

Whatever you end up doing, I'm wishing you the best...and hope it all works out. :ho: