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View Full Version : Now please don't come down hard on me for asking but...


ssmith
06-26-2010, 09:16 AM
...has anyone found the peeps in TV to be self absorbed and rude? :shrug: My friend, who lives there, has found that many people feel entitled to live life for themselves since it is now "their time". They feel they have worked hard all of their lives and feel now it is all about "me" to the point of being inconsiderate and rude or overbearing.

I also wonder if this could be worsened as peoples health fails and they don't feel so good. I was surprised to hear these comments; especially since that has not been my experience at all when we have been there... and of course, from all you nice peeps on TOTV. I have found the people to be very friendly. Now I know there is always a few rotten apples; but are they spoiling the whole bushel?

All this being said.. my friend still loves it there and does not want to move !! :). So how about it.... is it just the occasional self-focused person ...as it is everywhere.... or is it a problem there in TV?

redwitch
06-26-2010, 10:23 AM
Honestly, I think it is more a problem with your friend -- sounds a bit defensive to me. I can't even imagine wanting to live in a community where I find the majority to behave as is implied by your friend. Something tells me your friend would have similar issues wherever s/he resided.

Yes, the people here do have the attitude that they've done their duty and it is now time to have fun. That doesn't seem to make them rude, inconsiderate or overbearing. It makes them relaxed, helpful and friendly. They want you to enjoy the things they enjoy. Once they get to know you, they want you to join their clubs. (It is a bit intimidating to walk into a meeting where everyone knows each other, tables are reserved and you're not necessarily welcomed with open arms, but that does change if you're seen as someone who really wants to belong rather than just a looky-loo.) Most here will go out of their way to help others. Volunteerism is very high. People really do wave and smile at total strangers.

I feel bad for your friend. I think the best of TV is the people. Sounds like your friend is missing something.

l2ridehd
06-26-2010, 10:39 AM
Agree with Redwitch. I have always found everyone nice, friendly, respectful, and usually interesting.

Barefoot
06-26-2010, 10:50 AM
In life, you get back what you put out there. It's that simple.

pooh
06-26-2010, 12:03 PM
I've not personally met anyone like your friend describes, but have heard of a few people who are a bit snobbish. Not sure where your friend hangs out, if she's around people who've just moved to the community or people who've lived here for a bit. Could be she's been observing "newbies" who are just so thrilled with not having to deal with work responsibilities that they are behaving a bit more selfishly than they will once they adjust to retired living. People all over the country have to adjust to life anew when they finally retire. Some are like kids let loose in a candy shop... ;) .

Many of us have friends who are not in picture perfect health, heck who is a textbook model of glowing health, and they are still generous, caring and loving towards their fellow Villagers.

Think your friend has just encountered a few who are not the norm around here.

swrinfla
06-26-2010, 12:05 PM
:agree: with redwitch.

In my five-plus years here I haven't met a single grouch. Maybe one or two grumps, but even they cheer up after a drink!

I have met one individual who has become sour, being seemingly unable to cope with the loss of the spouse a couple of years ago. Sad, but this person's NOT even grumpy! :1rotfl:

SWR
:beer3:

cometgirl
06-26-2010, 12:17 PM
I am new to TV and the second time I went to the neighborhood pool I ran into a couple, the wife was in the pool and the husband was sitting at the table talking loud to the people next to him. He was telling them how terrible people were in the villages, how he hated it and how he would "deck" anyone who got in his way.

The wife was in the pool, apologizing to everyone about he husband, saying he has had a problem with alcohol for years.

While it did cause me to move far away from him, I didn't want to listen to it, I just chalked it up to this particular mans problems, and it did not reflect on TV as a hole. You are going to run into people who are unhappy drunks everywhere. :popcorn:

graciegirl
06-26-2010, 01:49 PM
I am new to TV and the second time I went to the neighborhood pool I ran into a couple, the wife was in the pool and the husband was sitting at the table talking loud to the people next to him. He was telling them how terrible people were in the villages, how he hated it and how he would "deck" anyone who got in his way.

The wife was in the pool, apologizing to everyone about he husband, saying he has had a problem with alcohol for years.

While it did cause me to move far away from him, I didn't want to listen to it, I just chalked it up to this particular mans problems, and it did not reflect on TV as a hole. You are going to run into people who are unhappy drunks everywhere. :popcorn:

I have found that people don't change a lot in life. If they are basically selfish, very little can alter that, if they enjoy tearing people down, they will continue. Although I must add that age usually calms down negative behaviors. Many of us have lived long enough to enjoy the "little" things and have been through enough to be compassionate.

I have met a pill here and there. Maybe some people think I am a pill. Everyone has a down day now and then. But for the most part...I enjoy this place because almost always others greet you with a smile and you can have the most interesting conversations with people you don't know at the grocery..or sitting next to you at the squares.

The biggest reason that I love The Villages are the people I have met.:a040::coolsmiley:

downeaster
06-26-2010, 02:41 PM
I think rude, grouchy, ill mannered, people here tend to stand out as there are so few. However, as has been stated on this thread, those types have probably been that way for a long time.

If it is a case of appearing unfriendly I tend to give them some slack. We do have a lot of people here dealing with health issues and/or the loss of loved ones.

logdog
06-26-2010, 03:00 PM
I've played almost 70 rounds of golf so far this year. I usually play as a single so I've been paired up with about 200 "strangers". So far, I remember only 2 that I would consider to be rude a-holes. That's only 1%. That percentage seems to hold true for me in the squares and throughout TV. That means 99% of Villagers are warm and friendly or, at worst, neutral. And if you take the time to engage even the neutral ones, you will probably find them pretty interesting and also find that you may have some shared experiences. Usually in any relationship, even a casual encounter, you get out what you put in.

bkcunningham1
06-26-2010, 03:04 PM
Chances are with the large population of TV, somebody is going to have a bad day every once in awhile. People are going to have days when they miss their grandchildren or children. Or maybe there's an illness or something financial or personal you don't know about going on in somebody's life and they seem grumpy or distracted and don't smile when you pass them on the street. I try very hard, and I struggle with it sometimes, to not let anyone else dictate my mood. You are only as happy as you want to be. I'm happy when I'm home in TV or when I'm home in NC. We all have bad days.

My husband said, "Even kids get cranky on vacation."

jebartle
06-26-2010, 03:17 PM
I've been here three years and have met ONLY one "peeep" that was full of himself, this is a GREAT place and I wouldn't live anywhere else!...

FlaChic
06-26-2010, 03:24 PM
I suspect your "friend" would be miserable and complaining no matter where she lived. She sounds like she feels that she is entitled to something other people have. People need to be responsible for their own thoughts, attitudes and behaviors and not expect others' to be. Perhaps you need to find a new "friend" with a more positive attitude. :wave:

Boomer
06-26-2010, 03:24 PM
I've been here three years and have met ONLY one "peeep" that was full of himself, this is a GREAT place and I wouldn't live anywhere else!...

Ohhhhh, if only you could buy those types for what they are worth and then sell them for what they think they are worth.

Boomer the Investor

Pturner
06-26-2010, 04:32 PM
Ohhhhh, if only you could buy those types for what they are worth and then sell them for what they think they are worth.

Boomer the Investor

:a20:

Of course, if you tried to make a living doing that in TV, you'd starve!

Ssmith, are you sure your friend lives in The Villages?? The one in central Florida between Ocala and Leesburg? Where peep stop to give you directions if you even look lost? Where I have met new friends I love with all my heart?

No, your friend cannot be talking about that place. Is your friend ok?

The Great Fumar
06-26-2010, 04:41 PM
Ohhhhh, if only you could buy those types for what they are worth and then sell them for what they think they are worth.

Boomer the Investor

I'M HURT TO THE CORE !!!! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK,,,,,,

FUMAR ...:evil6::evil6:

Pturner
06-26-2010, 04:49 PM
I'M HURT TO THE CORE !!!! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK,,,,,,

FUMAR ...:evil6::evil6:

I'll start the bidding at $1. :laugh:

The Great Fumar
06-26-2010, 04:49 PM
:a20:

Where peep stop to give you directions if you even look lost? Where I have met new friends I love with all my heart?

Hey , Its hard work thinking up places to send these people,,,,and then living in fear that you'll run into them again accidently......

Louis & Clark and Fumar ...:1rotfl:

Pturner
06-26-2010, 04:51 PM
Hey , Its hard work thinking up places to send these people,,,,and then living in fear that you'll run into them again accidently......

Louis & Clark and Fumar ...:1rotfl:

:1rotfl:

Ok, $5.

barb1191
06-26-2010, 04:55 PM
I'M HURT TO THE CORE !!!! I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK,,,,,,

FUMAR ...:evil6::evil6:

Well now, The Great, it's just possible you could "RESEMBLE THAT REMARK." Yes? :1rotfl: :ohdear:

barb1191
06-26-2010, 05:01 PM
I'll start the bidding at $1. :laugh:

Will raise you a penny......:wave::wave:

pzjay
06-26-2010, 05:56 PM
I have found that people don't change a lot in life. If they are basically selfish, very little can alter that, if they enjoy tearing people down, they will continue. Although I must add that age usually calms down negative behaviors. Many of us have lived long enough to enjoy the "little" things and have been through enough to be compassionate.

I have met a pill here and there. Maybe some people think I am a pill. Everyone has a down day now and then. But for the most part...I enjoy this place because almost always others greet you with a smile and you can have the most interesting conversations with people you don't know at the grocery..or sitting next to you at the squares.

The biggest reason that I love The Villages are the people I have met.:a040::coolsmiley:
:agree::agree::agree:

Taltarzac
06-26-2010, 06:22 PM
...has anyone found the peeps in TV to be self absorbed and rude? :shrug: My friend, who lives there, has found that many people feel entitled to live life for themselves since it is now "their time". They feel they have worked hard all of their lives and feel now it is all about "me" to the point of being inconsiderate and rude or overbearing.

I also wonder if this could be worsened as peoples health fails and they don't feel so good. I was surprised to hear these comments; especially since that has not been my experience at all when we have been there... and of course, from all you nice peeps on TOTV. I have found the people to be very friendly. Now I know there is always a few rotten apples; but are they spoiling the whole bushel?

All this being said.. my friend still loves it there and does not want to move !! :). So how about it.... is it just the occasional self-focused person ...as it is everywhere.... or is it a problem there in TV?


:D Just a joke.

Boomer
06-26-2010, 06:53 PM
Wuh-un -- wuh-un

I got wuh-un.....

Five -- five.....

I got five.....

I got five an' a penny....

Gimme ten -- ten......

Boomer (Geez. This is a tough crowd.)

ssmith
06-27-2010, 07:17 AM
...you all have restored my faith in that beautiful place...I knew I could count on you all...and many with a lot of humor as usual.... hahahaha... bidding on Fumar....hahaha. Really you all would like my friend... she and her husband are truly great...she is a frog and loves TV....so I wondered how prevalent the problem was. Thanks again so much for letting me ask the question. Oh and nice pic PTurner.

redwitch
06-27-2010, 10:49 AM
I'd bid on Fumar but I'm afraid I wouldn't have much use for him -- the man just doesn't love dogs and I bet I couldn't get him to help weed, either.

Boomer
06-27-2010, 11:49 AM
Hi ssmith,

I actually started writing an on-topic post here for you and your friend, but then I got all sidetracked into investing.

Daggone it! Now, here I am with a going once - going twice to Barb for only $5.01. (And Barb thinks she has bid $1.01 because she did not see Pturner's bid for $5.00 that came in right before hers. Geez. Now I am really in a pickle. And what if Pturner has changed her mind about the 5 bucks?)

I should have known better than to break my first rule of investing. I never invest in anything unless it has a dividend - a reasonable dividend - with a decent history of increases and at a certain percentage range of the EPS. Ohhhhhhh that's my philosophy, my mission statement.

And now! Look what I have gone and done. Just goes to showya..."To thine own self be true." I should have known not to make that investment. I figured there was some sideline cash out there and maybe I could run up the price pretty nice for a quick turnaround......but it is just not working out......

and Mr. Boomer told me that if we are in Florida he wants to get a seaplane rating......or whatever it's called......that thing with the pontoons on the bottom that's not a boat......Mr. Boomer has expensive hobbies.....I have said before that I try and try to get Mr. Boomer interested in cheap hobbies like carving little polar bears out of soap.....but alas.....expensive hobbies....poor Mr. Boomer. He thinks I know what I am doing. Hah! So much for my investment philosophy. Never should have abandoned it.......

I will try to get back to you later on the original topic, but now I have to go look for a job. (sigh)

Boomer

The Great Fumar
06-27-2010, 12:21 PM
Hi ssmith,

I actually started writing an on-topic post here for you and your friend, but then I got all sidetracked into investing.

Daggone it! Now, here I am with a going once - going twice to Barb for only $5.01. (And Barb thinks she has bid $1.01 because she did not see Pturner's bid for $5.00 that came in right before hers. Geez. Now I am really in a pickle. And what if Pturner has changed her mind about the 5 bucks?)

I should have known better than to break my first rule of investing. I never invest in anything unless it has a dividend - a reasonable dividend - with a decent history of increases and at a certain percentage range of the EPS. Ohhhhhhh that's my philosophy, my mission statement.

And now! Look what I have gone and done. Just goes to showya..."To thine own self be true." I should have known not to make that investment. I figured there was some sideline cash out there and maybe I could run up the price pretty nice for a quick turnaround......but it is just not working out......

and Mr. Boomer told me that if we are in Florida he wants to get a seaplane rating......or whatever it's called......that thing with the pontoons on the bottom that's not a boat......Mr. Boomer has expensive hobbies.....I have said before that I try and try to get Mr. Boomer interested in cheap hobbies like carving little polar bears out of soap.....but alas.....expensive hobbies....poor Mr. Boomer. He thinks I know what I am doing. Hah! So much for my investment philosophy. Never should have abandoned it.......

I will try to get back to you later on the original topic, but now I have to go look for a job. (sigh)

Boomer

Boomer:
I think Mr. Boomer should get a float plane rating,,,,,,He'll get out of bed in the morning, He'll help you with dishes and vacuuming , and even weed once in a while.......New ratings change a man......Mrs. Fumar says it the smartest thing she ever agreed too. ...
By the way, "TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE" is very catchy, you should copyrite it .....(just a thought)

PS Now that I'm carving little bears out of soap, how do you keep from breaking off their little tails.....

exacto fumar ...:D

Barefoot
06-27-2010, 12:24 PM
I'd bid on Fumar but I'm afraid I wouldn't have much use for him -- the man just doesn't love dogs and I bet I couldn't get him to help weed, either.

Good post Dee :mademyday:

swrinfla
06-27-2010, 12:42 PM
Boomer (or, more properly, Mr. Boomer):

A long standing "addiction" can be dangerous. My Bonanza V-tail owning brother has been flying for close to 65 years and crawls the walls if he ever has to go more than a week (or even less) without getting into the air!

He lives in an airpark near TV. A place where everybody's hangar is bigger than the house. There are a few pontoon-equipped planes there, but no water!

SWR
:beer3:

Boomer
06-28-2010, 08:34 PM
Boomer:
I think Mr. Boomer should get a float plane rating,,,,,,He'll get out of bed in the morning, He'll help you with dishes and vacuuming , and even weed once in a while.......New ratings change a man......Mrs. Fumar says it the smartest thing she ever agreed too. ...
By the way, "TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE" is very catchy, you should copyrite it .....(just a thought)

PS Now that I'm carving little bears out of soap, how do you keep from breaking off their little tails.....

exacto fumar ...:D

Hello Great Fumar,

I know what you mean, and Mrs. Fumar is a wise woman. We know we have to encourage those ratings and all that other flying stuff -- within reason.

Now it is getting close to the time for the annual pilgrimage to Oshkosh. Mr. B never gets tired of those Oshkosh trips. Last year he got to see Sully. I am fine with the trip except for the time period when I hide under my desk until I know he has landed. (I think I read on here once a long time ago that you have done those Oshkosh landings. :22yikes:)

And I told Mr. Boomer what you said about those ratings and he said to tell you thanks for the support.

I am afraid I do not know how to keep the little polar bears' tails from falling off. But I am glad somebody took me up on the idea for a cheap hobby since I get nowhere with Mr. B.

Maybe you could change from carving polar bears out of soap to carving an animal that does not have a tail. There are some dogs that do not have tails. Some Welsh corgis do not have tails so maybe look up a picture of a corgi in your favorite dog book and see how that works out. I want you to like your new hobby. Maybe Mr. Boomer will be inspired by your success.

and....

Hi SWR,

It would be Mr. Boomer's dream come true to live in one of those airpark communities like your brother does and to have his very own plane in his very own hangar. Heck, truth be told, Mr. Boomer would be happy to have just a house alongside or even at the end of a runway, any runway.

I told him about the Bonanza V-tail and he said, "That one is a classic."

and......

Well, I see the bidding for the investment I am trying to sell is not going well at all. I should have known better than to buy that IPO of TGF. The other investors here on the TOTV exchange are way too savvy for me I guess. (sigh)

Boomer