End of Life Options

[JimJohnson]

First and foremost, I AM NOT SUICIDAL!!!

Now, that established, I’m in my 70’s and I do not know of any local facilities or Doctors that will assist me in a painless death should I become terminally ill. After this wonderful life I have lived already, I desperately want to have a way out of my choosing, without having hospitals, etc. sucking my bank account dry while I suffer. When it’s over, call me a coward if that makes you feel better, but I want out quick without pain and loss of my life’s savings. I want my loving wife and children to have my estate.
Question, any information would be greatly appreciated.

[John_W]

It's called assisted suicide, Dr. Jack Kevorkian spent 8 years in prison for doing just that. It's not legal in Florida, you'll have to move to California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine (starting January 1, 2020), New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.

[JimJohnson]

It's called assisted suicide, Dr. Jack Kevorkian spent 8 years in prison for doing just that. It's not legal in Florida, you'll have to move to California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine (starting January 1, 2020), New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.

That is line with what I can find on google. WHY, Florida is filled with old folks like me. If any state should have agencies that assist in matters of this kind, it should be Florida. Why should we have to suffer and turn over our estate to blood sucking hospice organizations. Keep in mind, I totally respect hospice for those that want it, but I do not. Is there no godly organizations that will give this final decision to me? I feel I have earned the right to die with dignity!

[Arctic Fox]

It's called assisted suicide. It's not legal in Florida, you'll have to move to California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine (starting January 1, 2020), New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.

Are "Do Not Treat" orders legal in any State (not to be confused with "Do Not Resuscitate")?

[JimJohnson]

Are "Do Not Treat" orders legal in any State (not to be confused with "Do Not Resuscitate")?

Good point, and I have a do not resuscitate in place that Florida does honor, but if I continue to live on, tough, you must suffer till your heart stops on its own. It is such a horrible thought. This archaic practice must end.

[Bogie Shooter]

Talk to a lawyer about setting up trusts to protect your estate. An elder care lawyer would be good first choice. Keeps the wolves away.

[JimJohnson]

Talk to a lawyer about setting up trusts to protect your estate. An elder care lawyer would be good first choice. Keeps the wolves away.

I have looked into that, but if you are in a hospital and your doctor says you can live on, he/she has authority over your will or end of life wishes.

[VILLAGERBB]

Aren't there "hospice" nurses who care for patients in their home?

[dillywho]

My husband was here at home with hospice care for the last 6 months of his life. I cannot say enough good about Compassionate Care Hospice! They truly live up to their name. Once you are admitted to hospice, the hospice part of Medicare takes over. They paid for everything he medically needed.....his bed, meds, oxygen, supplies, etc. Wonderful, caring nurses, volunteers, support. We were paying out the nose, even with insurance prior to hospice. He also qualified for help from the VA, even though he was not RETIRED military nor had a service connected disability. He was a Korean War era veteran. That, too, was a God send. Our estate is very much intact.

With hospice and the VA, we were able to be at home (he was confined to a hospital bed) with each other to the very end. Our major problem was keeping up with the TV remote! (It is a guy thing, you know.:1rotfl:) Please don't count them out.

[Bogie Shooter]

I have looked into that, but if you are in a hospital and your doctor says you can live on, he/she has authority over your will or end of life wishes.

Not about ending your life. But protecting your estate.

[dillywho]

Aren't there "hospice" nurses who care for patients in their home?

Absolutely! See my previous post.

[Madelaine Amee]

My husband was here at home with hospice care for the last 6 months of his life. I cannot say enough good about Compassionate Care Hospice! They truly live up to their name. Once you are admitted to hospice, the hospice part of Medicare takes over. They paid for everything he medically needed.....his bed, meds, oxygen, supplies, etc. Wonderful, caring nurses, volunteers, support. We were paying out the nose, even with insurance prior to hospice. He also qualified for help from the VA, even though he was not RETIRED military nor had a service connected disability. He was a Korean War era veteran. That, too, was a God send. Our estate is very much intact.

With hospice and the VA, we were able to be at home (he was confined to a hospital bed) with each other to the very end. Our major problem was keeping up with the TV remote! (It is a guy thing, you know.:1rotfl:) Please don't count them out.

What a good post Dilly and thank you for passing along this information. My very good neighbor and friend kept her husband at home to the end with the help of hospice, she was able to have the children with her when he passed. Unfortunately death is a taboo subject in our society and it really is difficult to get information.

[asianthree]

It's called assisted suicide, Dr. Jack Kevorkian spent 8 years in prison for doing just that. .

I worked with Dr. K for many years. He was a kind, quiet man, who wanted to give those at end of life, a choice. Even in hospice one can control how quickly, or long you choose to stay in pain.
Sadly you may have legal papers for your departure, but have seen family withhold that information, because they did not agree.

[John_W]

Are "Do Not Treat" orders legal in any State (not to be confused with "Do Not Resuscitate")?

It's called Death with Dignity Laws

Death with Dignity Acts - States That Allow Assisted Death (https://www.deathwithdignity.org/learn/death-with-dignity-acts/)

[John_W]

In 2008 thru 2010 my mother lived with us in Maryland and we had woman doctor who came every month making house calls paid by Medicare and Blue Cross. Her alzheimers became a real problem and by 2010 she had fallen and broke her hip and after returning home from a few weeks in a rehab facility, she was a zombie, she never regained consciousness and I don't know what they did to her.

The house doctor came and ordered hospice in the home. They brought a hospital bed to her bedroom and we broke down the regular bed and set it aside. After a couple of days the doctor came by and told me she gave her some morphine. 9:00 that night she was dead.

Six years earlier my dad had lung cancer in 2003 and they gave him about a year to live. 22 months later he was still doing fairly well but he decided to go to the hospital, he didn't feel good that day. The doctor told him he had 2 to 4 months to live and after a couple of days they put him in a hospice. I was visiting on a Wednesday, he was sitting up, talking, doing good, and when I came back on Saturday he was knocked out. They said they gave him morphine. That night he died.

Lesson to learn. Once you go to a hospice it won't be long, especially when they give you the morphine.

[Toymeister]

To directly answer the OP question Google suicide bag.

Dr K. used something similar

[Toymeister]

In 2008 thru 2010 my mother lived with us in Maryland and we had woman doctor who came every month making house calls paid by Medicare and Blue Cross. Her alzheimers became a real problem and by 2010 she had fallen and broke her hip and after returning home from a few weeks in a rehab facility, she was a zombie, she never regained consciousness and I don't know what they did to her.

The house doctor came and ordered hospice in the home. They brought a hospital bed to her bedroom and we broke down the regular bed and set it aside. After a couple of days the doctor came by and told me she gave her some morphine. 9:00 that night she was dead.

Six years earlier my dad had lung cancer in 2003 and they gave him about a year to live. 22 months later he was still doing fairly well but he decided to go to the hospital, he didn't feel good that day. The doctor told him he had 2 to 4 months to live and after a couple of days they put him in a hospice. I was visiting on a Wednesday, he was sitting up, talking, doing good, and when I came back on Saturday he was knocked out. They said they gave him morphine. That night he died.

Lesson to learn. Once you go to a hospice it won't be long, especially when they give you the morphine.

As a burn patient 22% (face to waist), who had a steady routine of morphine with codeine chaser for weeks it seemed a decent way to go. John W, your relatives died without pain.

[blueash]

The Hemlock Society used to provide help in creating an at home brew for an eased exit. But the Hemlock Society ceased to exist, in part merging into Compassion and Choices. Compassion & Choices Home | Compassion & Choices (https://compassionandchoices.org/)

They may in part offer what you seek. You also might consider contacting your local representatives, one of whom has made his business as a mortician I believe.

[jswirs]

First and foremost, I AM NOT SUICIDAL!!!

Now, that established, I’m in my 70’s and I do not know of any local facilities or Doctors that will assist me in a painless death should I become terminally ill. After this wonderful life I have lived already, I desperately want to have a way out of my choosing, without having hospitals, etc. sucking my bank account dry while I suffer. When it’s over, call me a coward if that makes you feel better, but I want out quick without pain and loss of my life’s savings. I want my loving wife and children to have my estate.
Question, any information would be greatly appreciated.

I also am in my 70's and I feel EXACTLY as you do. A close family member should have your medical power of attorney. If you are near death and unable to make a decision to proceed for further medical treatment, that is when a medical power of attorney is most useful. Without it, the hospital will continue treatment with any and all life saving measures. This is their duty, and it is the law. I just went through all of this with my wife who recently passed and I am so very glad I was able to help her in the final stage of her life, because she was suffering terribly. If I wasn't her medical power of attorney I would not have been able to help her. Also, hospice dose nothing to cause death, that would be against the law. A Hospice house simply provides comfort for those who are near death. Just be certain that whoever has your medical power of attorney is trustworthy and understands your final wishes.

[jeanninern@yahoo.com]

If you have a Power if Attorney for Healthcare, your designated person can make those decisions not the healthcare team. Also, someone with a “terminal” diagnosis can choose to go into Hospice care, something you should look into.

[NotGolfer]

My mother passed away from cancer in 1975. She was in hospital the last weeks of life. She got pain meds every 4 hours but towards the end, they eased off their potency at about 3 hrs. I remember speaking to the charge nurse and asking why they didn't give her the meds since she was terminal anyway. The answer was, "because as we decline, we get weaker and the nurse administering it doesn't want to give the dose that may cause her death!" ???????????? In other words, it would be layered on too close to the previous one and weaken the heart. I didn't argue but this didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. This was before Hospice. Back then, in our community, they didn't even recommend allowing her to go home to die. Apparently it would be too hard on family in the caring of the person. Times have changed for sure. I've heard many people say that Hospice is wonderful!!

[Koapaka]

I have looked into that, but if you are in a hospital and your doctor says you can live on, he/she has authority over your will or end of life wishes.

Not true. Retired nurse here, and ANYONE has the right to deny medical treatment that is of age of consent and mentally capable. Should you desire, you can name a Medical Power of Attorney and give that individual IN WRITING what your wishes are. You are NOT required to accept any medical treatment at all, as long as they can verify that is in fact your desire, regardless of your ability to speak for yourself at the time.

[tibbetts]

I'm with you, am an 82 year old and do not want the run around that we will get when we become ill.

[Villagesgal]

Hospice helped my husband die with no pain by controlling it with meds, he stopped drinking any fluids which Hospice allows knowing that within 2 weeks you die peacefully. The doctor suggested this and the nurses said that many end their lives this way. They will not force liquids. So this is a way you might consider.

[soldjudy]

I totally agree. We should have our own say to when to end the life we have left. We treat our pets better than humans when being able to put them out of pain and suffering.

[Vickshaw1]

Hospice does nice work for the “terminally ill”. No, they will Not kill you but they do great work relieving suffering. That’s what you are looking for, right?

[JimJohnson]

Thanks for all the responses. Looks like medical power of attorney is my best bet. I assume that can be one of my children. I would not put my wife in that position.

[PugMom]

nothing available here, as far as know. you may have to handle it yourself

[joelcaplin]

Be careful what you say and who you tell. I told my doctor I was thinking like you and wound up held for 24 hours under Florida's Baker Act.

[JimJohnson]

Be careful what you say and who you tell. I told my doctor I was thinking like you and wound up held for 24 hours under Florida's Baker Act.

That is horrible. Just one more example that we are losing our freedoms.

[Topspinmo]

Are "Do Not Treat" orders legal in any State (not to be confused with "Do Not Resuscitate")?

For most patients do not treat will suffer horrific pain and suffering. At age of 12 I had to watch my grandmother die of pancreatic cancer in the mid 60’s. A horrifying event that still haunts me.

[blueash]

Thanks for all the responses. Looks like medical power of attorney is my best bet. I assume that can be one of my children. I would not put my wife in that position.

IMO, you might want to discuss that with your spouse. If she doesn't want to have to be your representative in end of life issues, fine, pick a child. But if she does want to have that role and you bypass her you may be setting up real conflict between your child and your wife as you lay dying and afterward. Especially if your child is not her child. Better to try to have your wife understand your wishes and even if reluctantly, agree to follow them. Letting go can be the final act of love and compassion.