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villagerjack
01-01-2020, 08:54 PM
Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma , Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."

They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,"That's 40 cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "They're retired people from The Villages, Florida . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price..."

kcrazorbackfan
01-01-2020, 09:00 PM
And while they're in the bar, a blind man with his seeing eye dog comes in. All of a sudden, the man picks his dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around. The stunned bartender asks him "what in the world are you doing"? The blind man replies "oh, just looking around".

bandsdavis
01-01-2020, 09:37 PM
And while they're in the bar, a blind man with his seeing eye dog comes in. All of a sudden, the man picks his dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around. The stunned bartender asks him "what in the world are you doing"? The blind man replies "oh, just looking around".

Very possibly the worst joke I have ever read or heard!

manaboutown
01-01-2020, 09:57 PM
Cheep, cheep, cheep the birdie says....

Velvet
01-01-2020, 11:19 PM
After a life time of saving it is hard to change the habit.

EdFNJ
01-01-2020, 11:53 PM
Very possibly the worst joke I have ever read or heard! I remember my father told me that one when I was about 12. It's still kinda funny. :D

jswirs
01-02-2020, 05:31 AM
Good joke, brought a smile to me....

KLBNJ
01-02-2020, 06:29 AM
Great joke and so true. Villagers are cheap and want everything for free.

Pedrocarrasco01@yahoo.com
01-02-2020, 06:58 AM
That is funny and also TRUE!!!!!

Dave2000
01-02-2020, 07:25 AM
I couldn't stop laughing

dennisgavin
01-02-2020, 07:33 AM
Very possibly the worst joke I have ever read or heard!

it's just a joke. Lighten up….

Paul1720
01-02-2020, 08:23 AM
Ha ha

jim s.
01-02-2020, 10:14 AM
A Giants fan, A Jets fan and a Bears fan walk into a bar...to watch the Packers play football next week.

John_W
01-02-2020, 10:35 AM
Since we're talking NFL Playoffs. These guys don't play for two weeks, #1 seed gets a Bye the first Week. Last February the DC Wink Martindale was a regular at MVP at Brownwood, it was fun talking to him, he's a very approachable guy. At first I was the only one talking to him, then everyone came up and said, who is that? The defensive coordinator for The Baltimore Ravens. He rented in The Villages. I don't know if we will see Wink this year, he has interviews for head coaching jobs. Wink is the big guy front right and Coach John Harbaugh is front left.

https://static.clubs.nfl.com/image/private/t_editorial_landscape_12_desktop/f_auto/ravens/ewjey7beve5neqtgui9c.jpg

https://theundefeated.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/AP_19308160901074-e1572881113877.jpg?w=700

Chi-Town
01-02-2020, 11:40 AM
A horse walked in to the bar and the bartender asked "Hey, why the long face?"

golfing eagles
01-02-2020, 12:58 PM
This joke would be a lot funnier if it weren't so true:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

Rebel Pirate
01-02-2020, 01:01 PM
The bar tender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."

..........

So, a time traveler walks into a bar...

Rapscallion St Croix
01-02-2020, 01:08 PM
A termite walked into a bar and said, "Is the bar tender here?"

karostay
01-02-2020, 04:35 PM
Very possibly the worst joke I have ever read or heard!


2020 New Year Time to loosen your panties

JoMar
01-02-2020, 04:51 PM
And we wonder why top end restaurants or high end shopping don't come here :)

BK001
01-03-2020, 11:21 AM
A horse walked in to the bar and the bartender asked "Hey, why the long face?"

A blind man walked into a bar.

retiredguy123
01-03-2020, 01:04 PM
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?
A: Dam!

(Engineer joke)