Guest
07-07-2010, 12:37 AM
A conservative and a liberal were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.
The conservative gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job.
He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The liberal was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help.
He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office.
He then reached into the conservative’s pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
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A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC.
He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, "Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed.
"Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn’t realize that. But listen, I’m really in a bind so I’m going to have to trust you anyway."
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Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it – I’m a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
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A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too.
Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air.
There was one exception.
A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because Im not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why, I’m a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.
The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican.
"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That’s no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?" The teacher paused and smiled.
"Then," Lucy said, "I’d be a liberal Democrat."
Ba Da :boom:
The conservative gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job.
He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The liberal was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help.
He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office.
He then reached into the conservative’s pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC.
He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, "Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed.
"Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn’t realize that. But listen, I’m really in a bind so I’m going to have to trust you anyway."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it – I’m a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too.
Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air.
There was one exception.
A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because Im not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why, I’m a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.
The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican.
"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That’s no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?" The teacher paused and smiled.
"Then," Lucy said, "I’d be a liberal Democrat."
Ba Da :boom: