Putting Myself on Trial

[mtdjed]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

[kathyspear]

Sounds like you treated all the girls, including Elizabeth, the same. Isn't that the exact opposite of racist?

kathy

[JimJohnson]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

[Two Bills]

I was a lot of different 'ists' over 65 years ago, and probably still have a few 'ists' as todays society, seek, and find new 'ists' daily.
I just like to think I am a better person, as I learnt to accept difference, and change over the years.
I do not dwell on the past. I can't alter it, and sure as heck, I not going to beat myself up over it!!

[queasy27]

It is interesting to look back. I asked some family members last week if they ever had African American friends. None of us had. One is a former Navy Captain and he said he had never known any black officers.

I went to high school in Cupertino, CA and there were no black students. There were Asians and some Hispanics (although the "beaners" as I unthinkingly referred to them mostly attended a school across town). The 60s were before the time when the wave of East Indians migrated to Silicon Valley.

Throughout my career, I worked with some minorities (but not a lot). I was friendly with them as co-workers, but not close.

I lived in Polynesia and Melanesia for a decade where only about 5% of the population was Caucasian. Even so, I primarily congregated and made friends with the other foreign contract workers in our compound. I still keep in touch with some of them but none of the Samoans, Tongans, Chamorros, Fijians, etc.

Throughout my life, I can honestly say I've never had a close friend who wasn't Caucasian. Never been to the house of an African American. Never lived in a neighborhood that wasn't overwhelmingly white. Certainly not in North Dakota.

Was any of that deliberate on my part? I don't think so, but it is a fact.

[davem4616]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?


not in my book....you were just a kid, growing up in the 60's

Ignore all these 'self-righteous' folks that try to make you feel guilty for something that you never did

[dewilson58]

Won't find the answer here.

[Stu from NYC]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

I would not say you were a racist. You did not bully her or call her names did you?

You were a product of your times.

[Stu from NYC]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two co-ops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?

[tophcfa]

not in my book....you were just a kid, growing up in the 60's

Ignore all these 'self-righteous' folks that try to make you feel guilty for something that you never did

Very good advise. I would add, take a walk, go for a bike ride, go for a swim, play some golf, do some yard work, or find something else productive to do that will occupy your thoughts instead of festering over putting yourself on trial : )

[Madelaine Amee]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two coops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?

This may answer your question A New Wave of Prominent African-American Retirees is Enriching and Changing Our City. | Sarasota Magazine (https://www.sarasotamagazine.com/news-and-profiles/2016/04/a-new-wave-of-prominent-african-american-retirees-is-enriching-and-changing-our-city)

Sarasota makes them welcome, welcomes their big money. We do not. We try to run off anyone who is not a member of a certain political party. We really do not measure up to the type of environment the wealthy black people are looking for in ordere to retire comfortably and among like minded individuals.

[Bucco]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two coops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?

This may answer your question A New Wave of Prominent African-American Retirees is Enriching and Changing Our City. | Sarasota Magazine (https://www.sarasotamagazine.com/news-and-profiles/2016/04/a-new-wave-of-prominent-african-american-retirees-is-enriching-and-changing-our-city)

Sarasota makes them welcome, welcomes their big money. We do not. We try to run off anyone who is not a member of a certain political party. We really do not measure up to the type of environment the wealthy black people are looking for in ordere to retire comfortably and among like minded individuals.

You nailed it. I have been in The Villages for 20 years, and love it. But more and more it has become a haven for one party, and certainly not diversity. Not a welcoming place if you are not in the correct catagories

[billethkid]

I do not think it is realistic to look back in time and measure the past using today's metrics.

It was a different time.

I am not sure why some feel the need to try to re-write what was then acceptable or not. An exercise proving nothing!

[Villageswimmer]

[QUOTE=Madelaine Amee;1812653]

You nailed it. I have been in The Villages for 20 years, and love it. But more and more it has become a haven for one party, and certainly not diversity. Not a welcoming place if you are not in the correct catagories


I think that anyone of any race who is looking to find a diverse population in which to live can easily find it.

ALL people are intelligent beings fully capable of doing their own due diligence. They do not need to be rescued by the elite—or those who think they are. Don’t insult minorities this way.

The Sarasota article, which deals with the ultra wealthy, cannot be considered analogous.

[npwalters]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

Seriously? groan.

[Stu from NYC]

Just so I understand, you're saying wealthy blacks are not found in this "certain political party" you mention? And how does this "run off" process work? Is there some kind of political purity test in place for people wanting to move to TV? I see plenty of people from opposing political points of view on these forums. I guess some people must have gotten by the gatekeepers.

There are opposing view points in here and that is great as long as people disagree in a respectful manner.

In terms of the racial makeup of this place still do not understand why there are so few blacks while there seems to be quite a few other groups here.

[CFrance]

Won't find the answer here.
For a number of reasons.

[La lamy]

Reminds me how racist my family was in the 60's and still now. So many fears about people who didn't look or sound like them. I was so fortunate to leave my little city and go to school in Toronto when I was 10 so I could be exposed to a truly diversified society. The only fear of people I have now is of ones who are narrow-minded. That's what's really scary in a truly democratic modern society, in my book.

[Number 10 GI]

Reminds me how racist my family was in the 60's and still now. So many fears about people who didn't look or sound like them. I was so fortunate to leave my little city and go to school in Toronto when I was 10 so I could be exposed to a truly diversified society. The only fear of people I have now is of ones who are narrow-minded. That's what's really scary in a truly democratic modern society, in my book.

I'm not aware of a true democratic government, in the US we are a republic.

[Stu from NYC]

I'm not aware of a true democratic government, in the US we are a republic.

Interesting how so many people do not understand the difference.

[Bucco]

Interesting how so many people do not understand the difference.

In actuality, we are a CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC, and "most" are well aware of the differences

[Stu from NYC]

In actuality, we are a CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC, and "most" are well aware of the differences

I would bet that if you did a man on the street type interview with say 25 passerbys most will not know the difference.

[Red White & Blue]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules.

:pray: Oh my God, what is going on with the Earth's Human Society?

[Tom2172]

No race wasn’t a big deal then. People were just people!
Today everything is race based not people based.
It’s used to divide America into groups to create envy & hate
Government & media need to get out of the race business
But they won’t

[Phil Lipschultz]

No, you were not a racist, you were young. I doubt the color of her skin even entered your thinking. You are now more aware, and what you do from this day forward, is what truly matters. Kindness is always welcome by everyone.

[camaguey48]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?
No, you were not a racist then and are not now so stop beating yourself up. I lived under a totalitarian form of government and came to this beautiful country seeking freedom and opportunity; I found it. Racism was prevalent there and it still exists. Those who play the racist card have that as their only weapon when they cannot support their argument. Treat yourself well and others the same. God bless our nation.

[tsmall22204]

Possibly we all were. Different times and understanding.

[nick demis]

I take total offence to this statement. As a business owner from age 22 I have employed almost every race and the only one I can really complain about was a fellow Greek. You may have been racist back in those days but you shouldn't put the blame on others without personal proof.

[Neils]

Birds of a feather flock together.

[Denvercane]

Nobody's past can meet today's warped "standards". I don't regret anything about my past. And even though I went to Vietnam, I would chose the 60's as the best generation.

[Cubnut]

Wrong about then

[Cranford61]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?
If you had approached her only because she was black, you would have been pandering. The worst side of being a “Karen”.

[MandoMan]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

Perhaps you were a racist, but we can’t tell from that story. More important is that there was a lonely, sad person you could have befriended, but you didn’t. We all do that. Racism could be part of it, but it doesn’t have to be. I was extremely shy when I was in high school, and I still remember several people who befriended me, included me among their friends, and filled my life with meaning and happiness I hadn’t anticipated. I still bless them for what they did. You could have been a person like that for that student. Part of remembering where we failed is regretting it enough that we do better next time.

Matthew 25:34-40. “Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

[WesMan]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

[WesMan]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?
Crazy talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cranford61]

I would bet that if you did a man on the street type interview with say 25 passerbys most will not know the difference.

And most of them couldn’t pronounce “constatuuuution”

[La lamy]

I'm not aware of a true democratic government, in the US we are a republic.

I looked up "is the US democratic" and here is what I got:

Is the US Constitution democratic?
The Constitution is organized into three parts. ... The Constitution established a Federal democratic republic. It is the system of the Federal Government; it is democratic because the people govern themselves; and it is a republic because the Government's power is derived from its people.

The people govern themselves, so you are a democratic republic. But happy to learn something new every day!

[Swoop]

Sarasota makes them welcome, welcomes their big money. We do not. We try to run off anyone who is not a member of a certain political party. We really do not measure up to the type of environment the wealthy black people are looking for in ordere to retire comfortably and among like minded individuals.[/QUOTE]

Seriously? “We” try to run off people who are not of a certain political party?!? Please explain, because I’ve never seen anyone “run off” from The Villages.
And “we” do not “measure up” to the type of environment wealthy black people are looking for. What a bizarre statement. Are you a wealthy black person? Have you polled wealthy black people? Do you speak for the wealthy black community?!?

[Girlcopper]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

Ok. So I didnt talk to everyone in school. I had my circle of friends as did everyone. If I didnt talk to a black student, it was because we didnt have the same i terests or I just didnt like their attitude. Same reasons that I didnt talk to some other white, cuban and Asian students. Only you would know the reason you didnt talk to this person. People need to stop with all this racism talk. It just causes more divide in already divided world. Yes, blacks were enslaved many many many years ago. Well, I didnt own a slave, couldnt care less if my ancient ancestors did. Thats not my rodeo. Move on people!!

[PanamaKim]

I grew up in SW Louisiana and looking back, there was a lot of racism. Our schools were not integrated until I was in 4th grade (this was in 1969 or 1970 - long after it was mandated by law). My third grade teacher prepared us well, telling us how things would be next year and to make friends with those that looked different from us because we were all the same inside. My paternal grandparents were horrible racists but my maternal grandparents were not. The maternal grandparents had worked along side blacks when they were sharecropping and saw first hand how they were mistreated and always taught us to be kind to all people. Today when I visit family in Louisiana, sometimes I still pick up on racists comments that I don’t think they are even aware of when they are speaking. Yet, I know if they saw a black person in need, they would help. It’s confusing to me. I haven’t lived in the south since I was 19 years old, and I think that has helped me see the racism I grew up with, though I’ve seen it in all places, just not to the degree I find in the south. I’ve have only one black friend and she is from Trinidad, so she didn’t grow up in US. I would like to be close to a black person and hear their thoughts and perspectives. I think we can all. grow and learn moving forward. By the way, a great book I recently read along these lines “Beneath a Ruthless Sun: A True Story of Violence, Race and Justice Lost and Found,” by Gilbert King. It is Lake County, Mt. Dora, Traveres and nearby areas. True story of a corrupt sheriff in the late 1950s. Appalling what he got away with. The local libraries carry this book. Curbside pick up these days.

[Girlcopper]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two co-ops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?

Right on target! When the italians landed in Ellis Island in the early 1900s, where did they migrate to. Little Italy in nyc. Same with orientals. Chinatown. They all stuck together due to cultural similarites and feeling comfortable. Many didnt want to go elsewhere. So, if theres no blacks in a predominantly white area or vice versa its either due to economics, or just personal choice. If they were denied a mortgage to an expensive house in a white area, its because they dont qualify. Same as if I applied for a mortgage out of my range.

[Jgbama1]

It is unfair to evaluate oneself by today’s (ridiculous) definitions, for life back in 1966. Life, and standards were different back then. Today’s definition of racist is “if you don’t agree with someone else’s opinion”! Just heard a man is a racist if he won’t date a transgender! How ridiculous is that?

[Ndomines]

Purchasing a home in The Villages is open to everyone who meets the age requirement. Beyond that all you need is cash or a good credit rating and the freedom to move here. You cannot force people to move here in order to achieve what you consider is an acceptable level of color. Living here is a choice. There are opposing view points in here and that is great as long as people disagree in a respectful manner.

In terms of the racial makeup of this place still do not understand why there are so few blacks while there seems to be quite a few other groups here.

[GaryKoca]

We had a black kid who was enrolling in our all white school of 4400 students - big school - in 1964. We all were thinking state basketball championship. It turned out he was 5'4", had pop bottle glasses, and played chess, not basketball. Not racism, but certainly stereotyping. We all had a huge laugh at the time.

[Bay Kid]

Not to worry. You will hopefully recover from your guilt.

[Scorpyo]

A couple of things. At age 6 I lived in Hell's Kitchen (Manhattan). Probably the world's largest melting pot. My best friend was Wayne Everette, who happened to be black. I didn't even know the definition of racism or prejudice. When I was 15 I learned about prejudice. I learned that I was suppose to hate, not blacks but, Italians given that I was Irish (my grandparents were from Ireland). I was not born with that prejudice, my environment taught me it. I guess I dishonored my Irish heritage as I married an Italian. So, unless your family or environment taught you to be racist , you weren't. Secondly, why are there so few black residents in TV? Someone offered an opinion on that question that made sense to me. TV is predominately white because we're selfish. Yep, I was taken back by that statement as well. Blacks and Hispanics seem to be more family oriented. They tend to stay where their families are located. We whites, on the other hand, feel we've worked for what we have and we want to enjoy it. So, we move to a place like Disneyland for Seniors. We have no problem leaving family behind. After all, we can visit them or they can visit us (provided we give them our address - which I'm still contemplating). That opinion made sense to me. It might not make sense to you. That's your prerogative. Maybe the word selfish is too harsh. Maybe we're just compassionate and we don't want to burden our families as we get older. Yeah, that's the ticket. Lastly, blacks and Dems are dissuaded from purchasing here. Yeah right. Show me a real estate broker or agent that dissuades anyone from buying here and I'll show you a stupid unemployed real estate person. Sure after you move here there are some that treat you rudely. That's just their nature - old and crabby. Take me for instance. I'm sure the ones that treat me rudely are doing so because I'm so good looking. They're just jealous. Hey, I can have my opinions too!

[jbrown132]

I went to high school 1965-1968 and also grew you in a middle class neighborhood. People were not rich, just average families. in my high school we had one black student an in my senior year he was elected class president so in younger people back then I think there was very little racism. Just my opinion but today as people become more divided it creates more racism than it cures.

[kevincycle]

Always enjoy another white people asking other white people if they are racist. Suggestion ask your pastor or priest or religious leader to partner with an established black church. Get to know them and then ask them that question. Ask them about their experience with law enforcement and other government agencies and then ask yourself what your response would be in the same situation.

[billethkid]

Most of us already do treat others as we would like to be treated.

I believe racists perpetuate ongoing discussions about racism.

And why do they choose to always use the criminally involved treatment......while ignoring the views and reality of the average blacks in America.

[transplanted]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two coops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?

This may answer your question A New Wave of Prominent African-American Retirees is Enriching and Changing Our City. | Sarasota Magazine (https://www.sarasotamagazine.com/news-and-profiles/2016/04/a-new-wave-of-prominent-african-american-retirees-is-enriching-and-changing-our-city)

Sarasota makes them welcome, welcomes their big money. We do not. We try to run off anyone who is not a member of a certain political party. We really do not measure up to the type of environment the wealthy black people are looking for in ordere to retire comfortably and among like minded individuals.
Odd - I didn't encounter anyone talking to me about politics at all when I was considering moving here. Not a single encounter was it even mentioned. And no one I've played mahjong with, sewed with, gone to Cricut classes with, etc., has EVER mentioned any politics to me. I saw a few flags flying when driving down some main roads - didn't care - either party could fly their flags - so no harm, no foul - no different to me than seeing state flags in some yards.

If I've ever been excluded from anything because of my party, I'm unaware of it. And after I moved here, fall of 2018, I was so happy to see yards lined with small American flags for various holidays - all I could think of was 'I'm so happy to be somewhere where people love and honor their country' ... having moved here from the cesspool of political nonsense, DC. I turned off the news and have never been so stress free.

My perception is that unless you go looking for it, you don't have to feel badly about your party - any party. You're not going to change a single vote, so why stress out and make enemies over it? So I'm not sure how anyone is being run off, unless they choose to attend a rally where you are screamed at, called names, goaded, etc., by the other party. If you're looking to be involved in and wound up over politics, then by all means, you should probably choose to live where your political beliefs are in the majority. Otherwise, live wherever you want and go about your business and enjoy your life - there is SO much more to life and retirement than politics.

[Stu from NYC]

Most of us already do treat others as we would like to be treated.

I believe racists perpetuate ongoing discussions about racism.

And why do they choose to always use the criminally involved treatment......while ignoring the views and reality of the average blacks in America.

Interesting how the martyrs are typically people with a rap sheet a mile long.

[Stu from NYC]

[QUOTE=Madelaine Amee;1812653]
Odd - I didn't encounter anyone talking to me about politics at all when I was considering moving here. Not a single encounter was it even mentioned. And no one I've played mahjong with, sewed with, gone to Cricut classes with, etc., has EVER mentioned any politics to me. I saw a few flags flying when driving down some main roads - didn't care - either party could fly their flags - so no harm, no foul - no different to me than seeing state flags in some yards.

If I've ever been excluded from anything because of my party, I'm unaware of it. And after I moved here, fall of 2018, I was so happy to see yards lined with small American flags for various holidays - all I could think of was 'I'm so happy to be somewhere where people love and honor their country' ... having moved here from the cesspool of political nonsense, DC. I turned off the news and have never been so stress free.

My perception is that unless you go looking for it, you don't have to feel badly about your party - any party. You're not going to change a single vote, so why stress out and make enemies over it? So I'm not sure how anyone is being run off, unless they choose to attend a rally where you are screamed at, called names, goaded, etc., by the other party. If you're looking to be involved in and wound up over politics, then by all means, you should probably choose to live where your political beliefs are in the majority. Otherwise, live wherever you want and go about your business and enjoy your life - there is SO much more to life and retirement than politics.

Very well said

[newgirl]

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

[billethkid]

[QUOTE=Madelaine Amee;1812653]
Odd - I didn't encounter anyone talking to me about politics at all when I was considering moving here. Not a single encounter was it even mentioned. And no one I've played mahjong with, sewed with, gone to Cricut classes with, etc., has EVER mentioned any politics to me. I saw a few flags flying when driving down some main roads - didn't care - either party could fly their flags - so no harm, no foul - no different to me than seeing state flags in some yards.

If I've ever been excluded from anything because of my party, I'm unaware of it. And after I moved here, fall of 2018, I was so happy to see yards lined with small American flags for various holidays - all I could think of was 'I'm so happy to be somewhere where people love and honor their country' ... having moved here from the cesspool of political nonsense, DC. I turned off the news and have never been so stress free.

My perception is that unless you go looking for it, you don't have to feel badly about your party - any party. You're not going to change a single vote, so why stress out and make enemies over it? So I'm not sure how anyone is being run off, unless they choose to attend a rally where you are screamed at, called names, goaded, etc., by the other party. If you're looking to be involved in and wound up over politics, then by all means, you should probably choose to live where your political beliefs are in the majority. Otherwise, live wherever you want and go about your business and enjoy your life - there is SO much more to life and retirement than politics.

Thank you for posting what has been and continues to be our experience.....which I believe is the majority experience!

[BlackhawksFan]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

I don't think you were, you were probably a shy, nervous young man that's more likely why you didn't reach out.

[rmd2]

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

Not true. The developer has always had big ads on the TV everywhere. I'm assuming most people have a TV.

[tedquick]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

Nope, that doesn’t suggest racism to me. In 1964, as a freshman in college, six or eight of us were sitting around a table in the student union. I made reference to the “f . . in’ n . . .ers" and suddenly wished I were dead. One of my best friends, sitting to my immediate right, was as black as they come. From my reddist of red faces I apologized. He laughed and said, “That’s not a problem. You have your white honkey a$$holes”. We were both right. So, were either one of us racists or simply speaking the truth? I believe it to be the latter.

[Stu from NYC]

Nope, that doesn’t suggest racism to me. In 1964, as a freshman in college, six or eight of us were sitting around a table in the student union. I made reference to the “f . . in’ n . . .ers" and suddenly wished I were dead. One of my best friends, sitting to my immediate right, was as black as they come. From my reddist of red faces I apologized. He laughed and said, “That’s not a problem. You have your white honkey a$$holes”. We were both right. So, were either one of us racists or simply speaking the truth? I believe it to be the latter.

There are good and bad from all races and sometimes stuff just slips out.

Does get confusing when Blacks call each other by the N word.

[LoisR]

A change of heart causes a change of mind.

[MaxCat]

Every human being -- regardless of their race, upbringing, country of origin, age, gender, etc. -- has racial bias within them based upon their experiences in the world growing up. It is a condition of being human. The key is for each of us -- when facing a situation that may be unfamiliar, different, prone to racist reactions, etc. -- is to try to ask ourselves if our pre-determined racial biases might be unconsciously causing us to react and behave in what would be considered a "racist" way or not. Racism and being racist are two completely different things. We all have the potential to act in a racist way in a certain situation if we don't act with self-awareness, but it doesn't mean we are an overall "bad" or "racist" person. And it is a constant effort to try and act in a non-racist manner -- sometimes we will do well with it and sometimes we might slip up and be sorry for it. Slipping up sometimes -- that, too, is a condition of being human.

[Villagerjjm]

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

[Velvet]

OP, don’t put yourself on trial. I bet you were the same as me, tried your best at the time given the circumstances. No regrets, I keep doing the best I can each day. Go to sleep happy.

[MJY10101]

Coming from a very diverse town in CT, I truly miss the diversity here in The Villages. My opinion is that when minorities read about this place, they are turned off by the White Republican demographic. It is a haven for old people raised in the 50’s and 60’s who were inherently racist against mostly blacks. As a Jewish couple, we feel it too. Still hear the “Jew them down” comment if people don’t know we are Jewish. Also, it’s a little uncomfortable when everyone, during the Christmas holiday, forgets that not everyone in the world is Christian and wishes us a Merry Christmas or Asks if we have finished our shopping yet. We know it’s not mean spirited so we just thank them and move on. Just sayin.....

[Byte1]

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

[Stu from NYC]

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Very well said

[Number 10 GI]

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

I had never heard of The Villages until some friends of ours bought a house here. They heard about it from friends who lived here. I've never seen any advertising for TV. I've spoken to many family members and friends that live all over the US and they had not heard of TV until we told them where we were living.
It's news to me that I'm "upper end white". Upper end must have a very low ceiling.

[justjim]

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

Assuming they were both adults -The simple answer is: “you can’t make decisions for your adult children”. Accept, love them and move on.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

[Rodneysblue]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?
That’s strange, I was raised in the late 50’s early 60’s and was taught that we were all equal no matter what color, race or religion. But I guess I was lucky to have parents that gave me that outlook on life.

[IvorT]

I don’t think the original,post was racist. Just the usual insecure, immature teenage male. It’s easy to regret past mistakes, but you can’t change them.

I’m disappointed that so many posts mention TV as being unwelcoming if you’re not of a certain party. My wife, now deceased, chose TV because it looked welcoming. She was a Democrat and I worry that this may not be the place for me either.

[billbob]

I too graduated from an Erie PA high school (East High School in 1966) Never had any problems and matter of fact a black friend named Earl ****** shared lockers next to each other and always laughed and got along great.

[twinklesweep]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

To fit the age of the OP, I'd have to go back a few years earlier, so let's say 1956. In my life experience this generalization doesn't fit for me. Though I can't agree or disagree that we were all raised in a racist society, if I was, then I must have not been exposed to it. I grew up in a large city up north where, yes, there were ethnic and racial neighborhoods, but there were many areas that were mixed. I don't recall that there were rules the poster is referring to being broken, and as a kid it did not occur to me that it was any different anywhere else (though evidently it was). I have no recollection of white privilege among kids, but I vividly recall it among adults. I dated members of minority groups and had—and still have—friends, some close, among different groups. I never thought of this as an issue—and am not about to start doing so now.

[timjones]

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Byte1, your words express my thoughts. Thank you for stating it so well.

[billethkid]

Way too much time spent intellectualizing whites/blacks...

That is not the way real every day life is.

The more some try to label, categorize, theorize, hypothesize the more the discussion itself becomes racist. Working too hard to highlight the isolated incidences (once again) and then applying those incidences as though they represent the general condition.

Where was this effort 6 months ago?

One year ago?

Four years ago?

One year from now the situation will not be much different other than the dialogue which will also fall by the wayside as it has demonstrably done for the past 20 years!!

The more we discuss what we need as American the sooner many of the issues will be better treated. Let's eliminate the need to have to talk color as the measure.....because in the real daily life it is not!

[jimjamuser]

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?
This IS a broad and complex subject. I grew up in the Pittsburgh, Pa. area in the 50s and 60s. Overall Blacks were somewhat but not 100% socially accepted. They all lived in a small area of town. They had some upward mobility but far less than whites. Most did not go to college. Of these the majority did so because they were exceptional athletes, which was their main method for upward mobility. I grew up in the suburbs and saw only one Black at my elementary school. High school changed that. There were many Blacks there because both the suburbs and the downtown residents attended my high school. Some of the more popular kids in high school were Black. I played sports and about 30% of the sports teams were made up of Blacks. There was a small amount of interracial dating then. I had lots of Black acquaintances but no close friends. In College, it was about the same. Plus many whites went out of their way to express non-racist opinions. Then I joined the Air Force - during my 1st year I had a close Black friend at tech school. We did not keep in touch. During the last 3 years, I ran into many, many VOCAL prejudiced white enlisted men from the deep South. I knew there were some Black Officers, but I never saw any. I was not real happy about the rise of Black Militants and the Fist Salute of the late 60s. Also I was close to many cities burning from race riots. Also, I was a little ticked off at Mohammed Ali for going Muslim. After MLK and their non-violent protests became apparent to me, I could see their point and perspective. I came to understand Mohammed Ali and respect him for his willingness to sacrifice and go to prison for 1 year in the prime of his boxing career - truly impressive! So, basically, I came full circle in my understanding of the minority (all minorities) situation and importance to America.
That's MY story, without any glory, and I am sticking to it......

[Holpat39]

One of the best post.

[Duneahh]

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

Thanks for this good exercise OrangeBlossomBaby. It induced me to go even further: I don't care who is in, or gets out of, the car (or even approaches on foot). Unless it is known fact that the house has sold and these might be new owners, then my "neighborhood awareness" feels suspicious about any humans being there at 9PM at night. That is safety instinct (or bias if preferred).

[jimjamuser]

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.
Seems like a giant rationalization for Historic inequities, to me.

[jimjamuser]

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.
In general, tribalism is an anthropological survival mechanism, which can explain lots of things.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Coming from a very diverse town in CT, I truly miss the diversity here in The Villages. My opinion is that when minorities read about this place, they are turned off by the White Republican demographic. It is a haven for old people raised in the 50’s and 60’s who were inherently racist against mostly blacks. As a Jewish couple, we feel it too. Still hear the “Jew them down” comment if people don’t know we are Jewish. Also, it’s a little uncomfortable when everyone, during the Christmas holiday, forgets that not everyone in the world is Christian and wishes us a Merry Christmas or Asks if we have finished our shopping yet. We know it’s not mean spirited so we just thank them and move on. Just sayin.....

Other than the Merry Christmas thing, I agree with everything you posted. Including the being from a diverse town in Connecticut (Hamden/New Haven/East Haven/North Haven - lived in a combination of all those, most of my life).

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

I have had a run-in with someone here in TV recently, who asked which church I belonged to. When I told them none, I'm Jewish, they abruptly changed their posture and tone of voice - the rest of the conversation seemed to be coming from the perspective of sympathy that I hadn't yet accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I just rolled the invisible eyes in the back of my head, put on a fake smile, and excused myself to go on to do other things.

[Stu from NYC]

Other than the Merry Christmas thing, I agree with everything you posted. Including the being from a diverse town in Connecticut (Hamden/New Haven/East Haven/North Haven - lived in a combination of all those, most of my life).

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.

I have had a run-in with someone here in TV recently, who asked which church I belonged to. When I told them none, I'm Jewish, they abruptly changed their posture and tone of voice - the rest of the conversation seemed to be coming from the perspective of sympathy that I hadn't yet accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I just rolled the invisible eyes in the back of my head, put on a fake smile, and excused myself to go on to do other things.

We have found people very accepting when we tell them we are Jewish.

Expect that Christmas time we will be asked regularly are we ready for it and etc and we will typically say yes as they mean well.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

We have found people very accepting when we tell them we are Jewish.

Expect that Christmas time we will be asked regularly are we ready for it and etc and we will typically say yes as they mean well.

Yup. I've found the same by and large. I was warned that "the south" is very much into the whole "what church do you go to" thing when they're welcoming new people. I haven't found that the case here in Florida (which isn't exactly "the south"), which was why it was so notable that it finally did happen, in the midst of polite conversation.

[Red White & Blue]

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

Total Fake News! :ohdear:
So your saying that only WHITES can access the internet which seems 80% is the way the Villages promote its self and another 19% is word of mouth.

[Heyitsrick]

The Merry Christmas thing doesn't bother me at all because we were exposed to it from the time we were kids, and public schools had Christmas pageants, Christmas plays, Easter egg hunts, etc. etc. My Jewish upbringing taught me that it was all fairy tales, but they were fun fairy tales so we rolled with it.



Unless you're specifically referring to the non-religious parts of Christian holidays (Santa Claus / Easter Bunny, etc.), I do find it interesting to learn that Christian tenets were taught as "fairy tales" by a religion that professes to believe in an incorporeal God. I'm wondering what the threshold is to reach the "fairy tale" bar. Obviously, a supernatural deity doesn't make the cut.

[billethkid]

Anonymity is such a wonderful catalyst.
:)

[Stu from NYC]

Total Fake News! :ohdear:
So your saying that only WHITES can access the internet which seems 80% is the way the Villages promote its self and another 19% is word of mouth.

Amazing some of the comments on here.

living in Va do not believe we ever saw an add for the Villages, kept hearing about it from folks we met on cruises who all loved this place and than turns out our daughters sorority sisters parents live here.

[thesquare]

Has TOTV become the place for conscience clearing assistance? I think professional help might be the answer to the problem..

[Jerry101]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

... no WE weren’t!!! Seriously, how dare you make such a blanket statement! WE were in Sunday school and church every Sunday. WE lived by the Golden Rule. Our OP must need a ‘shrink’! Are you serious? You’re rethinking 1966??? John 3:16. ... the perfect compliment to ALL LIVES MATTER...

[twinklesweep]

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

How WOULD we react? For us the question was how DID we react. We did with love, acceptance, and joy on our part. That they're an interracial couple is unimportant to us—and obviously to them; we feel so fortunate that they are as happy and as accomplished as they are. As parents we could not be more thrilled than to see our kids like this. I suspect, though, from the question that not everyone would feel as we do....

[billethkid]

How WOULD we react? For us the question was how DID we react. We did with love, acceptance, and joy on our part. That they're an interracial couple is unimportant to us—and obviously to them; we feel so fortunate that they are as happy and as accomplished as they are. As parents we could not be more thrilled than to see our kids like this. I suspect, though, from the question that not everyone would feel as we do....

Those that don't?
Just acknowledge their isolated report. Then ignore!

[twinklesweep]

We have found people very accepting when we tell them we are Jewish.

Expect that Christmas time we will be asked regularly are we ready for it and etc and we will typically say yes as they mean well.

This brings to mind a story that's off-subject (sorry...); maybe a bit of lightness is appropriate, though?

Somewhere in the Deep South a country club is planning a coming-out cotillion, and the organizers go to the local military base to ask if they can send four male officers to help balance the numbers, preferably good social dancers. They extend the invitation, then quietly add that they do not allow Jews in their country club, so could the military make sure to send only Christians and no Jews.

The day of the event comes, and the four Christian officers show up—spiffily dressed in formal uniforms, tall, good looking, smiling, professing to be good dancers—and all African-American!

The organizers who greet them are horrified. One, stammering somewhat, says to the four men, "There must be some mistake...."

One officer replies, "Oh no, there was no mistake. Major Goldberg never makes mistakes!"

[Number 10 GI]

Every race has members that strongly object to marriage outside of their race, not just whites. There are people of religious groups that object to marrying outside their religion. So please get off the only whites object to marriage outside of their race. I've seen many examples of this during my lifetime.

[tophcfa]

Since we seem to be putting ourselves on trial, I will put myself on trial. So, why the hell do I own such a beautiful place in the Villages and still spend more than half of my time up north wishing I was in the Villages? Guilty as charged : ( Dam the responsibilities!

[tvbound]

We improve ourselves, and society overall, by being willing to question and evaluate our deeply held prejudices. Congrats to the OP for recognizing this and at least be willing to address it. If only it were done more often, a lot of our current societal problems and issues could be immeasurably be addressed for the better-by making the effort.

[Bikeracer2009]

You say you're putting yourself on trial for possibly being a racist and then don't offer any facts to convict yourself of such a thing. This public trial you put yourself through seems to lack a prosecutor. I can't see anyone convicting you of racism for ignoring the one black girl in your school when you ignored all of the females.

I would file a motion to dismiss.

[Stu from NYC]

This brings to mind a story that's off-subject (sorry...); maybe a bit of lightness is appropriate, though?

Somewhere in the Deep South a country club is planning a coming-out cotillion, and the organizers go to the local military base to ask if they can send four male officers to help balance the numbers, preferably good social dancers. They extend the invitation, then quietly add that they do not allow Jews in their country club, so could the military make sure to send only Christians and no Jews.

The day of the event comes, and the four Christian officers show up—spiffily dressed in formal uniforms, tall, good looking, smiling, professing to be good dancers—and all African-American!

The organizers who greet them are horrified. One, stammering somewhat, says to the four men, "There must be some mistake...."

One officer replies, "Oh no, there was no mistake. Major Goldberg never makes mistakes!"

Thanks for the laugh

[Heyitsrick]

We improve ourselves, and society overall, by being willing to question and evaluate our deeply held prejudices. Congrats to the OP for recognizing this and at least be willing to address it. If only it were done more often, a lot of our current societal problems and issues could be immeasurably be addressed for the better-by making the effort.

I agree, but with this proviso: This has to be undertaken by everyone. People of every race, every religion, every ethnicity, etc., must engage in this. No one gets a pass.

[Byte1]

Sorry, but if you are looking for partners or advocates for Self-flagellation, you won't find it on my end. I'm too old for historical/past regrets. If you feel you wronged someone then you need to forgive yourself. It is none of our business if you suddenly feel guilty for being human. I see no reason for someone to feel guilty about being white, wealthy, attractive, or successful. I also see no reason to feel inferior if you are black, female, Jewish, or homely. If you have a history of treating people wrong, due only because of appearances then that is a problem for you to work out. It is not my problem, and I make no excuses for anyone.
Funny thing about the Internet. Everyone wants to reveal their most inner and personal thoughts. It really does not matter what you think of someone else, as long as it does not interfere with how you treat them. I have known really good people that were also racists, both black and white. I say good, because in spite of their bias, they still treated people with respect and civility. I have known racists that would risk their lives for those very people that they were biased against. You cannot legislate how people think. All you can do is legislate conduct. Generally speaking, good people do not need laws to dictate how to treat others.

[Bob3302]

... No we weren’t!!! Seriously, how dare you make such a blanket statement! We were in sunday school and church every sunday. We lived by the golden rule. Our op must need a ‘shrink’! Are you serious? You’re rethinking 1966??? John 3:16. ... The perfect compliment to all lives matter...
if you can clearly state that you are a god fearing,church attending, person of faith.....and you do not hate anyone......you are not a racist.
“hate destroys the vessal its carried in”

[Fredman]

I do not think it is realistic to look back in time and measure the past using today's metrics.

It was a different time.

I am not sure why some feel the need to try to re-write what was then acceptable or not. An exercise proving nothing!

Agree completely

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

if you can clearly state that you are a god fearing,church attending, person of faith.....and you do not hate anyone......you are not a racist.
“hate destroys the vessal its carried in”

I can state it clearly.

I'd be lying through my teeth, but I can certainly state it. Clearly. I can even pretend to be sincere about it.

However, regardless of my biases, regardless of my complete and total lack of interest in any church (other than the Church of the Flying Spagetti Monster, all hail His noodly appendage), regardless in my faith that faith is an exercise in futility, and regardless in the fact that MY god is not fearsome, she is totally loveable -

I am not a racist.

[John41]

In general, tribalism is an anthropological survival mechanism, which can explain lots of things.

The first post that hits the nail on the head. Birds of a feather flock together. All the rest is total BS.

[Topspinmo]

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

You maybe, but not me.

[punkpup]

It seems to me that we are all more comfortable with people who are like us and we are more comfortable with.

In NYC the best neighborhoods for raising children were predominantly Italian, Irish and Jewish. We all had family values and took care of each others kids.

Lived in Queens for many years and sold two co-ops. Had many people come and look when we sold but do not remember any Blacks coming.

Does that make anyone racist? I dont think so.

Let me ask another question. Why are there so few black families here?

There is a growing middle class among Blacks, and many could afford to live here. Why are they not here?
I’m here! (But currently in Boston, MA preparing to sell my house there.) Yes it’s true that African Americans are not as robustly represented in The Villages, but more and more of us are discovering the fabulous Villages Lifestyle!