Starting a new village

[Stu from NYC]

In these trying times we need to have a new village devoted to people enjoying life.

As a result we are proud to announce Stu^s Village

We are planning on doing this a bit differently in our town.

For example we will ask Sumter County to pay for all of the roads and put in a golf course. After all they will be collecting taxes from our residents so why shouldnt they pick up the tab?

We are finalizing our amenities but open to suggestion.

[New Englander]

Put commissioners in place that see thing your way.

[JohnN]

I think a once-a-week free beer night at the Stu Village Town Square would be great.
Masks and socially distanced of course.

And I'd like to apply as the head of the gate guards. Entry by SunPass but we'll take cash too.

[Polar Bear]

What are you going to do about dog poop?!?

[Art cov]

Are you wanting to be the mayor of Stu-ville? Maybe Stu-ville Junction! Just don’t get Stu-ed in the village. Who is the deputy?

[Stu from NYC]

After further consideration we have made some decisions.

First we will not allow any dogs in the village but we will allow horses as long as they are trained. This is to not have any poop.

We will be taking applications for gate guards. We will charge admission but the guard will collect a commission to be handed to the head commissioner who will use it to make this a better place.

We will supply free beer as long as members bring it to the weekly meetings and make it available to the mayor who shall be elected by, well we will figure that out later.

[geobet]

Wow! Now I know our 3rd move will be to the Village of Stu. Since we won’t be able to keep our 2 dogs, we will get a support rooster instead. That way everyone will know it’s 5 am, time to rise and shine in Stu-ville. If someone else gets chickens, we can have fresh eggs plus more chickens. Then we can be known as the Key West Village of Stu.
Anyone have a 5 toed cat?

[Stu from NYC]

Wow! Now I know our 3rd move will be to the Village of Stu. Since we won’t be able to keep our 2 dogs, we will get a support rooster instead. That way everyone will know it’s 5 am, time to rise and shine in Stu-ville. If someone else gets chickens, we can have fresh eggs plus more chickens. Then we can be known as the Key West Village of Stu.
Anyone have a 5 toed cat?

We will allow roosters along with chickens as long as the member pays a small registration fee and agrees to make fried chicken for the mayor at least once a week.

The committee is currently considering allowing dogs under a grandfather clause but that will entail a slightly larger registration fee.

[Joanne19335]

I think a once-a-week free beer night at the Stu Village Town Square would be great.
Masks and socially distanced of course.

And I'd like to apply as the head of the gate guards. Entry by SunPass but we'll take cash too.

I’d love to be an ambassador on Stu’s golf course. Heavy fines for littering cigarette butts in the tee boxes. Proceeds donated to charity.

[wrestle1]

Wow! Now I know our 3rd move will be to the Village of Stu. Since we won’t be able to keep our 2 dogs, we will get a support rooster instead. That way everyone will know it’s 5 am, time to rise and shine in Stu-ville. If someone else gets chickens, we can have fresh eggs plus more chickens. Then we can be known as the Key West Village of Stu.
Anyone have a 5 toed cat?
Your new village will need legal counsel. Not sure how many toes this attorney/cat has but he seems technologically savvy enough to move us into the future
Kitten Zoom Filter Mishap - YouTube (https://youtu.be/KxlPGPupdd8)

[BlkBlt6]

Stu’s brilliant!

[PaulinTV]

I would only consider if you assured me there would be a Margarita truck cruising the streets.
Pavlov for the bells!!

[lwmilo]

Can't wait to get Stu' d on Stu'sville.

[JanetMM]

I what if I trained my dog to think he was a horse? Or I could train him to never poop? Could he be be grand-mothered in? I think that would be Stu-pendous!

[DIver0258]

If you grandfather small dogs and the margarita truck we are in. I could contribute to developing a Stu's Place distillery. As long as the mayor and commissioners can sway the Feds to approve the distillery permit. This is a three fold improvement...distilled spirits, hand sanitizer, and eco friendly fuel for golf carts.

[Stu from NYC]

I’d love to be an ambassador on Stu’s golf course. Heavy fines for littering cigarette butts in the tee boxes. Proceeds donated to charity.

We would have made you chief ambassador but have run into a bit of a problem vis a vis golf.

Due to overwhelming demand we have run out of room for a championship golf course and we will do not do anything that would detract from the experience.

Therefore we have arranged that you can play golf at any course in the village. You will have to play at night though and we suggest using glow in the dark balls to help you see them.
We will sell them for a small charge and will not even ask you to pay green fees as who can see the green at night.'

[Stu from NYC]

If you grandfather small dogs and the margarita truck we are in. I could contribute to developing a Stu's Place distillery. As long as the mayor and commissioners can sway the Feds to approve the distillery permit. This is a three fold improvement...distilled spirits, hand sanitizer, and eco friendly fuel for golf carts.

The distillery is a bit much so we can not do that. Also cannot do the margarita truck but for a small fee you can have the margarita concession.

[Stu from NYC]

I what if I trained my dog to think he was a horse? Or I could train him to never poop? Could he be be grand-mothered in? I think that would be Stu-pendous!

Upon further review we will allow your dog to audition for a role in our version of the Clydesdales.

[firewife]

That was a great read... I love happy funny people..
Sign me up🙃💋

[waynehal55]

In these trying times we need to have a new village devoted to people enjoying life.

As a result we are proud to announce Stu^s Village

We are planning on doing this a bit differently in our town.

For example we will ask Sumter County to pay for all of the roads and put in a golf course. After all they will be collecting taxes from our residents so why shouldnt they pick up the tab?

We are finalizing our amenities but open to suggestion.

Will ex-NY-ers get free lake view lots?

[FromNY]

We would need an indoor sports pool. And how about a clothing optional area for those who enjoy full body vitamin D therapy?

[stan the man]

stu did you not have all of these things when you lived in brooklyn

[Sherrilee]

I have no suggestions ... but where is the Villages of Stu?? I would like to buy a house... is it near the prison— or next to the highway? I dont want to buy one then find out it’s too loud and then have to complain to you to put up a wall or trees. Can you give me a open pasture with the horses??

[rmd2]

Stu,
The new Stu-Village planning is hilarious!

[Stu from NYC]

Will ex-NY-ers get free lake view lots?

Hmmm you would probably have to dig a big hole for a lake in your backyard.

[JohnN]

Will ex-NY-ers get free lake view lots?

sure, just cut down any trees that might be in your way - and don't tell anyone!

[Stu from NYC]

We would need an indoor sports pool. And how about a clothing optional area for those who enjoy full body vitamin D therapy?

You can certainly have an indoor sports pool. Due to lack of room put it in your basement. Clothing optional would also be in your basement so as to save room.

[Stu from NYC]

I have no suggestions ... but where is the Villages of Stu?? I would like to buy a house... is it near the prison— or next to the highway? I dont want to buy one then find out it’s too loud and then have to complain to you to put up a wall or trees. Can you give me a open pasture with the horses??

You can certainly have a pasture for the horses. It will not be near the prison or highway but in a very quiet area.

For complaints you have to put it in writing in person to the committee. We have not yet decided if the committee will be meeting weekly or monthly or yearly.

[New Englander]

We would need an indoor sports pool. And how about a clothing optional area for those who enjoy full body vitamin D therapy?


It would be quite-a-sight.

[wyealbert]

I think it would be great to have an annual "Stu-Cruise". I will be happy to handle the booking.

[Stu from NYC]

I think it would be great to have an annual "Stu-Cruise". I will be happy to handle the booking.

While some of us (myself possibly included) might look better wearing a mask first we need to get the village up and running.

[waynehal55]

sure, just cut down any trees that might be in your way - and don't tell anyone!
I actually like trees. Just not on my property.

[Topspinmo]

After further consideration we have made some decisions.

First we will not allow any dogs in the village but we will allow horses as long as they are trained. This is to not have any poop.

We will be taking applications for gate guards. We will charge admission but the guard will collect a commission to be handed to the head commissioner who will use it to make this a better place.

We will supply free beer as long as members bring it to the weekly meetings and make it available to the mayor who shall be elected by, well we will figure that out later.

Well, if you don’t have free shots of fireball cinnamon whiskey count me out!:) or we could have village of moonshiner’s. And course the village of rum runners next.

[youngatheart57]

So....horses don't poop?

[Stu from NYC]

So....horses don't poop?

They will be trained to poop only in designated areas.

[Stu from NYC]

Well, if you don’t have free shots of fireball cinnamon whiskey count me out!:) or we could have village of moonshiner’s. And course the village of rum runners next.

Please discuss with the asst commissioner in charge of the margarita concession.

[stebooo]

Open carry, it cuts down on the nit picken

[Stu from NYC]

We had a meeting of the board of director in terms of the horses.

They will be allowed but if they poop in the wrong place their will be one less horse and at the communal dinner one might be seeing the other other white meat.

[nevjudbaker]

Horses poop huge poop. You need a big shovel to pick it up. Maybe Dogs could come if they wear diapers & are in a stroller. Otherwise no dog no me not that stu village is for me. I think I will be content with Brownwood Village Square & The Lofts. You can have the drunks, know it alls, party people & crazies it will make the rest of the Villages much nicer for the rest of us. You should have your Stu Villages south in the new areas so us oldies don't get in your way. Sounds like a good idea to me.

[Topspinmo]

Please discuss with the asst commissioner in charge of the margarita concession.

Yes, I will, those margarita needs to be spiked:icon_wink:

[Topspinmo]

Open carry, it cuts down on the nit picken


Yes, everybody should have colt 45 single action strapped to there leg. We could have call outs everyday Saturday at high noon.:a040:

[Stu from NYC]

Yes, everybody should have colt 45 single action strapped to there leg. We could have call outs everyday Saturday at high noon.:a040:

We are a peace loving town so could we use either water pistols or bean bag guns?

[Debfrommaine]

Horses poop huge poop. You need a big shovel to pick it up. Maybe Dogs could come if they wear diapers & are in a stroller. Otherwise no dog no me not that stu village is for me. I think I will be content with Brownwood Village Square & The Lofts. You can have the drunks, know it alls, party people & crazies it will make the rest of the Villages much nicer for the rest of us. You should have your Stu Villages south in the new areas so us oldies don't get in your way. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I'd rather have dogs than little kids. Can they wait outside the gate of Stuville?

[Joanne19335]

Your new village will need legal counsel. Not sure how many toes this attorney/cat has but he seems technologically savvy enough to move us into the future
Kitten Zoom Filter Mishap - YouTube (https://youtu.be/KxlPGPupdd8)

I have a law degree. Practiced divorce law, though. Also a psychologist. Probably won’t need one in utopia.

[Joanne19335]

We would have made you chief ambassador but have run into a bit of a problem vis a vis golf.

Due to overwhelming demand we have run out of room for a championship golf course and we will do not do anything that would detract from the experience.

Therefore we have arranged that you can play golf at any course in the village. You will have to play at night though and we suggest using glow in the dark balls to help you see them.
We will sell them for a small charge and will not even ask you to pay green fees as who can see the green at night.'

Difficult seeing the green during the day sometimes. Besides, you meet a better class of people in the dark.

[Joanne19335]

So....horses don't poop?

We could use the horse poop for fertilizer and have the prettiest lawns in TV.

[Joanne19335]

Yes, everybody should have colt 45 single action strapped to there leg. We could have call outs everyday Saturday at high noon.:a040:

Heavy piece to carry for a lady. May I use my .380?

[Nell57]

Could the Village of Stu bring back the holiday parades? We’ve missed them since Gen3 of the Morse family took over. The stilt walkers...cheerleaders...kazoo band....belly dancers. We loved them all.

[Nell57]

Could the Village of Stu bring back the holiday parades? We’ve missed them since Gen3 of the Morse family took over. The stilt walkers...cheerleaders...kazoo band....belly dancers. We loved them all.

The chickens and poopless horses would be a fine addition.

[Stu from NYC]

The chickens and poopless horses would be a fine addition.

OK you are now the asst commissioner in charge of all parades but you will be responsible for keeping the chickens in line.

[Ndomines]

Great fantasy. Thank God we bought our home 8 years ago just before they quit building. Whew! got in just under the wire.

[Joanne19335]

Reading all of this made my day. So refreshing.

[airstreamingypsy]

After further consideration we have made some decisions.

First we will not allow any dogs in the village but we will allow horses as long as they are trained. This is to not have any poop.

We will be taking applications for gate guards. We will charge admission but the guard will collect a commission to be handed to the head commissioner who will use it to make this a better place.

We will supply free beer as long as members bring it to the weekly meetings and make it available to the mayor who shall be elected by, well we will figure that out later.

Hmmmm, Having had horses for most of my life, you may want to rethink that. An average horse poops out 20 pounds of poop a day. Jut sayin'

[Carla B]

Hmmmm, Having had horses for most of my life, you may want to rethink that. An average horse poops out 20 pounds of poop a day. Jut sayin'

Yes, just like there's pee in Lake Sumpter there will be poop in Lake Stu-p.

[Heytubes]

So long as golf cart speed limit can be increased to 50 mph I’m in. My dog will identify as a horse too.

[Stu from NYC]

Difficult seeing the green during the day sometimes. Besides, you meet a better class of people in the dark.

That is why we offer balls that glow in the dark.

[Stu from NYC]

So long as golf cart speed limit can be increased to 50 mph I’m in. My dog will identify as a horse too.

You can go as fast as you want but as long as our revenue officer can catch you their will be a fine to pay.

He has a cute little vet he wants to race so looking forward to your arrival.

[Carla B]

Just got to ask, will there be round abouts in your village, if so, how many lanes?

[Stu from NYC]

Just got to ask, will there be round abouts in your village, if so, how many lanes?

No but we will offer a demolition derby

[TOMTOFVIL]

Will there be a politics free zone?

[Funkman]

We are a peace loving town so could we use either water pistols or bean bag guns?Water pistols filled with alcohol

When you get shot, you get a shot

[Stu from NYC]

Water pistols filled with alcohol

When you get shot, you get a shot

Too wasteful

Better to give the winner first dibs on the booze

[Stu from NYC]

There have been reports of a group of nasty looking skeets flying around.

We plan to put up a range where we people can shoot those varmints.

[Stu from NYC]

Based on popular demand we are going to start a mud wrestling league.

Thinking mixed sex tag teams would be the most fun.

[Stu from NYC]

Someone has requested we put in a Burger King but think we can do better than that.

How about Buffalo Burgers. Rumor has it there is a small herd nearby.

Who would like to volunteer to go on a good old fashioned roundup.

[mgkw1]

Can the houses be non rental and the gold be non snow bird ?

[Stu from NYC]

Based on popular demand we will be having our first ever virtual cocktail party with free booze.

Also as soon as we can figure it out we will have an all start talent show with A list talent.

[DONNIEBRONX]

hey stu. your neighbor donnie stellwagen from da bronx, what's your plan

[jimbomaybe]

sex on the square permitted with permit

[Stu from NYC]

hey stu. your neighbor donnie stellwagen from da bronx, what's your plan

So far our plan is to have no plan other than NO PLAN FRIDAY when we will have entertainment.

[John_W]

For entertainment, the Hooligans play 5 days a week and the Spazmatics play the other 2 days a week.

Someone will manning the grill full time, hamburgers, hot dogs and steaks will be available on demand. The servers will be provided by Hooters.

https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/152333553_1870106769820513_5865204463484029372_n.j pg?_nc_cat=100&ccb=3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=Y8QlAe_eo6gAX8YzoHG&_nc_oc=AQkHMXnCXskKOUtg7dq5gBg-kqL1nU8fVKLtGK1oz_FUqA5oJUZgunwRTaiVqZQTm-w&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=479f6064965fa10c55a6d82dbd22af2c&oe=6056CE39

https://primesourceentertainment.com/uploads/band/SpazmaticsBandPhoto.jpg

https://www.crushpixel.com/static15/preview2/stock-photo-beef-flank-steak-in-grill-pan-with-batata-puree-garlic-herb-decoration-and-draft-beer-1962323.jpg

https://sm.askmen.com/askmen_in/article/h/hooters-ne/hooters-new-concept-will-feature-both-men-and-women-servers_zby3.jpg

[Happinow]

Please keep this thread going. It’s pure entertainment.

If I chose to buy in Stu-ville, can you do please make sure that cars are equipped with the proper blinker fluid so that others know when they are turning? It’s such a waste of time sitting and waiting for a car to go buy when in fact they are turning. After all, I’m retired and in a hurry to get where I’m going. Thank you.

[chet2020]

I have no suggestions ... but where is the Villages of Stu?? I would like to buy a house... is it near the prison— or next to the highway? I dont want to buy one then find out it’s too loud and then have to complain to you to put up a wall or trees. Can you give me a open pasture with the horses??

The prison area seems bad on paper, but is actually rather quiet.

[Stu from NYC]

For entertainment, the Hooligans play 5 days a week and the Spazmatics play the other 2 days a week.

Someone will manning the grill full time, hamburgers, hot dogs and steaks will be available on demand. The servers will be provided by Hooters.

https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/152333553_1870106769820513_5865204463484029372_n.j pg?_nc_cat=100&ccb=3&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=Y8QlAe_eo6gAX8YzoHG&_nc_oc=AQkHMXnCXskKOUtg7dq5gBg-kqL1nU8fVKLtGK1oz_FUqA5oJUZgunwRTaiVqZQTm-w&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=479f6064965fa10c55a6d82dbd22af2c&oe=6056CE39

https://primesourceentertainment.com/uploads/band/SpazmaticsBandPhoto.jpg

https://www.crushpixel.com/static15/preview2/stock-photo-beef-flank-steak-in-grill-pan-with-batata-puree-garlic-herb-decoration-and-draft-beer-1962323.jpg

https://sm.askmen.com/askmen_in/article/h/hooters-ne/hooters-new-concept-will-feature-both-men-and-women-servers_zby3.jpg

I am afraid that if we do hire the Hooter Girls there will be a decrease in life expectancy of all the males in the village.

[Stu from NYC]

Please keep this thread going. It’s pure entertainment.

If I chose to buy in Stu-ville, can you do please make sure that cars are equipped with the proper blinker fluid so that others know when they are turning? It’s such a waste of time sitting and waiting for a car to go buy when in fact they are turning. After all, I’m retired and in a hurry to get where I’m going. Thank you.

As long as others post the thread will continue, last week thought it was done.

In answer to your question there will be no blinkers in cars driving in Village of Stu.

We think hand signals will be much more entertaining.

[Pinball wizard]

As long as others post the thread will continue, last week thought it was done.

In answer to your question there will be no blinkers in cars driving in Village of Stu.

We think hand signals will be much more entertaining.

We will provide a course on the appropriate use of NJ hand signals.

[John_W]

A pool will be constructed with a lazy river with tubes provided.

https://www.oyster.com/uploads/sites/35/2019/07/backlot-river-pool-v3544540-1440-1024x683.jpg

The main pool area will have a waterfall and slides.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4b/97/6e/4b976ebd993d4f74ff440555f46e393a.jpg

There will be a swim up bar with a full-time bartender, draft beer will be 2 for 1 at all times with a price of a $1.

https://spoonuniversity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/serenity-pool-bar-670x412.jpg

[John_W]

We will provide a course on the appropriate use of NJ hand signals.

Does that include the middle finger?

[Stu from NYC]

We will provide a course on the appropriate use of NJ hand signals.

Actually they will be NYC hand signals complete with a loud horn that goes off every 5 minutes whether needed or not.

[John_W]

Actually they will be NYC hand signals complete with a loud horn that goes off every 5 minutes whether needed or not.

The last time I was in NYC was in '83, I was driving a white T-Top '81 Corvette and I was in Long Island going to the city on the LIR and it was rush hour, but the traffic was leaving the city. So going in traffic wasn't bad until we got to I guess the Mid-town tunnel, we were merging from about 5 lanes down to 2 lanes. There was a guy in a car next to me and he wasn't budging and I wasn't budging, I think he yelled out something about where I could put my Corvette. Eventually I got ahead and that was my biggest memory of driving there that week. Other than when I checked into my motel in Sheepshead Bay. The desk clerk saw I wrote down Corvette on the registration and said, park your car right in front of the lobby glass windows.

[Stu from NYC]

The last time I was in NYC was in '83, I was driving a white T-Top '81 Corvette and I was in Long Island going to the city on the LIR and it was rush hour, but the traffic was leaving the city. So going in traffic wasn't bad until we got to I guess the Mid-town tunnel, we were merging from about 5 lanes down to 2 lanes. There was a guy in a car next to me and he wasn't budging and I wasn't budging, I think he yelled out something about where I could put my Corvette. Eventually I got ahead and that was my biggest memory of driving there that week. Other than when I checked into my motel in Sheepshead Bay. The desk clerk saw I wrote down Corvette on the registration and said, park your car right in front of the lobby glass windows.

My first car was a 1970 Mustang. A few weeks before our son was to be born came down and car was gone. Was found a week later and the cop who called told me to bring a flat bladed screwdriver.

Ignition column was a mess but stuck the screwdriver in and car started right up.

[Stu from NYC]

The commissioners have voted and like the idea of having our own Hooters.

We have reached out to them and it is doable but we would need to appoint a resident as general manager.

If interested please send in an application with your check for $ 100 and we will consider.

If enough applications are received you might not see me for awhile as we are considering a cruise around the world.

[JohnN]

Hmmmm, Having had horses for most of my life, you may want to rethink that. An average horse poops out 20 pounds of poop a day. Jut sayin'

Wow, 20 pounds in a day. In only 10 days, we could have a new politician!

[JohnN]

Has the new golf cart bridge over the turnpike had any impact on Stu Village traffic? And is that a good thing or bad thing?

[Stu from NYC]

The board of directors has decided to have our second annual super duper village of Stu olympics in spite of what might have happened (which we will continue to deny) last time.

Some of our events will be
Lazy Man river if we can find someone who is not to lazy to build it
Golf Cart demolition derby.
Pitch and Put Golf for a new Tesla if we can find some sucker to donate the car.
Watch the Grass Grow challenge if we can get a judge willing to watch it grow.
Carpet bombing with our new drone using whatever ammo we can find

We are open to additional events if we can get good suggestions that will be agreed to by our new Grand Poobah John N.