I should be used to rude people by now, but!!!

[Madelaine Amee]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

[DonH57]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

Believe me I've been here nearly 9 years and so rude behavior is nothing new to me. The worse I've seen is in the grocery stores and parking lots. Never understood the hostility and meanness of some of these people.:ohdear:

[Velvet]

Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

[ThirdOfFive]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:
As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

[Villageswimmer]

Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.
I think there is a lot of truth in this statement. Grace goes a long way. Namaste.

[Villageswimmer]

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.
Very interesting theory. I think you’re on to something.

[GrumpyOldMan]

Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

[ThirdOfFive]

Very interesting theory. I think you’re on to something.
Gerontology 101. In my former life I provided interventional and case-management services for vulnerable adults, most of them post-retirement age.

[vintageogauge]

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

So, all violent offenders harming or killing sane members of society are mentally ill and should be in mental institutes getting help rather than in prison?

[GrumpyOldMan]

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

I agree

[Michael G.]

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

[Ben Franklin]

Sometimes rudeness is a perceived or personal condition. I have had two people, in this forum, apologize for being rude to me, but I never perceived what they said to me as being rude. Or, maybe rudeness is a condition of where one was raised. I was raised in a big, northeast city, not NYC though. When we first came to Florida in 1979, most of the people on the west side of the state were from the middle of the country. My wife and I were so taken aback, by how nice people were, we thought we had left the states for another country.

[DAVES]

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

I had a minor in psychology. I still remember the introduction to a course in abnormal psychology. The prof stated as you read this you will think you have all these disorders and you do. It is a problem only when you can't control it and you either harm yourself or harm others.

I recall another study involving brain scans. A certain pattern indicated a mental disorder. The one doing the study, in a blind test selected out of whatever the number of scans it was those showing this problem. One of the ones he selected as clearly having this problem. WAS HIS.

[Hape2Bhr]

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

[DAVES]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

All of these posts are in the eye of the poster. I of course was not there.

Rude? As stated, did not see entire event. What, who, said what first? The truck, did it need to be blocking her drive.

The screamer? On her way to ??????? card game??????? Or to the hospital?????????

Reality is in the details as is usually the case.

[DAVES]

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

Sad people take their bias, their prejudice with them.
HATE is a powerful yet MINDLESS emotion.

Definition of bias, prejudice we are infested with it. We are good they are bad. How truly sad where we are.

[Michael G.]

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

Boston

[CFrance]

Sometimes rudeness is a perceived or personal condition. I have had two people, in this forum, apologize for being rude to me, but I never perceived what they said to me as being rude. Or, maybe rudeness is a condition of where one was raised. I was raised in a big, northeast city, not NYC though. When we first came to Florida in 1979, most of the people on the west side of the state were from the middle of the country. My wife and I were so taken aback, by how nice people were, we thought we had left the states for another country.
I was raised in a moderate-sized city in Western Pennsylvania. People were basically nice, assertive while not aggressive.
Then we moved to northern NJ. At first I thought people were very rude. After a couple of years I came to believe that they were guarded while trying to live their lives in very crowded circumstances. By the third year I did not expect people to act like Western Pennsylvanians. I made many friends, but it took awhile for people to warm up. They did not seem rude to me anymore.

Then we moved to Michigan. People were SO nice that, coming out of NJ, I was almost suspicious. I trained myself not to ask rhetorical questions in shops or I might be there for an hour while the answer was searched for. Still, Michiganders are great. We lived there 25 years and loved it.
Went back to Pittsburgh, where I realized my initial assessment of people there still held true. It's a nice blend of East and Midwest. (But pedestrians beware...)

I think all of this has helped me overlook certain behaviors down here that I occasionally witness. People are from all over. I try to ignore, and fortunately rudeness hasn't been addressed to me in 12 years.

As our younger son used to say (albeit usually concerning some high school misdemeanor he was in trouble for), Acknowledge and move on.

[GrumpyOldMan]

So, all violent offenders harming or killing sane members of society are mentally ill and should be in mental institutes getting help rather than in prison?

You did take a leap there. I never said what should be done. I said I believe anti-social behavior is a form of mental illness. And anti-social behavior is contextual.

For example, someone breaks into your house and is attempting to kill your family, that is mental illness. If you kill them to prevent them from killing your family, that is not a mental illness.

We currently do not understand how the mind/brain works well enough to have effective treatments. In general mental health, today boils down to treating or suppressing symptoms - mostly.

But, as I said, I do not believe in "good and evil". I believe that some people are mentally ill, and others aren't. If what you do is for your personal benefit and not society, then I believe that is a form of mental illness.

And yes, I do not believe there is any evidence that jails/prisons do more good than harm. They sort of come down to expensive crime universities. Prisons are a fairly modern invention that has never worked well. They basically isolate mentally ill people from society "for a while".

[ThirdOfFive]

I was raised in a moderate-sized city in Western Pennsylvania. People were basically nice, assertive while not aggressive.
Then we moved to northern NJ. At first I thought people were very rude. After a couple of years I came to believe that they were guarded while trying to live their lives in very crowded circumstances. By the third year I did not expect people to act like Western Pennsylvanians. I made many friends, but it took awhile for people to warm up. They did not seem rude to me anymore.

Then we moved to Michigan. People were SO nice that, coming out of NJ, I was almost suspicious. I trained myself not to ask rhetorical questions in shops or I might be there for an hour while the answer was searched for. Still, Michiganders are great. We lived there 25 years and loved it.
Went back to Pittsburgh, where I realized my initial assessment of people there still held true. It's a nice blend of East and Midwest. (But pedestrians beware...)

I think all of this has helped me overlook certain behaviors down here that I occasionally witness. People are from all over. I try to ignore, and fortunately rudeness hasn't been addressed to me in 12 years.

As our younger son used to say (albeit usually concerning some high school misdemeanor he was in trouble for), Acknowledge and move on.
Excellent points, and post. How we interpret situations has to be, in large part, based on our previous experiences. What might be rude to some might be normal to others.

Case in point: not "rude" by any means but does illustrate this. During our first month here, my wife and I had dinner at Cracker Barrel. Upon arriving we noticed a long line at the reception podium. Not knowing how the drill went there, I asked the hostess if it was going to be a long wait, assuming she'd put our name on the list and call us, as is usually done back where I hail from.

Upon hearing my question, she replied by putting her arm around me and saying, "why, it ain't gonna be that long at all, honey".

What can you say after that?

[GrumpyOldMan]

I had a minor in psychology. I still remember the introduction to a course in abnormal psychology. The prof stated as you read this you will think you have all these disorders and you do. It is a problem only when you can't control it and you either harm yourself or harm others.

I recall another study involving brain scans. A certain pattern indicated a mental disorder. The one doing the study, in a blind test selected out of whatever the number of scans it was those showing this problem. One of the ones he selected as clearly having this problem. WAS HIS.

Yup - :)

I am NOT saying I have an answer or a solution. Just my opinion.

There are a ton of issues with my philosophy - like, WHO gets to decide what is good or bad for society. (In my world, I do, but I could see some here disagreeing with that - LOL)

And does society have the right to "alter" (cure?) a person who is mentally ill?

I don't know, I just have my ill-formed opinion.

[patfla06]

New York is NOT part of New England states.

[CoachKandSportsguy]

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

Some of the reasons for control in earlier years is parental influence, well known that parents can keep adults in check, and when the parents' pass away, they show less restraint as there are no perceived down side from parental influence.

The other is life gets harder as you age, both mentally and physically, and that either or both can cause less emotional restraint. . . well known that CTE (concussion related brain injuries) reduces restraint, and I have had a couple of my own from 7 concussions early in life. Also, missing a medical addiction fix or crutch can cause lack of emotional restraint.

And then some are just having really bad days, not the normal but really bad, with very bad news, very bad diagnosis, and the like. . . .

So yes, as we age, seniors get cranky and funny. . . . and I have warned my kids

psych guy

[jbartle1]

Seniors do get cranky - meds, physical disabilities, etc., life is short, move on to those that make you smile.

[GrumpyOldMan]

New York is NOT part of New England states.
And making a blanket statement about everyone in any particular state is ridiculous. There are good and bad everywhere, like here in T.V. :ohdear:

Wait?!? What?!?

There are bad people in TV? When did that happen?

[Madelaine Amee]

All of these posts are in the eye of the poster. I of course was not there.

Rude? As stated, did not see entire event. What, who, said what first? The truck, did it need to be blocking her drive.

The screamer? On her way to ??????? card game??????? Or to the hospital?????????

Reality is in the details as is usually the case.

I am sure she was headed out for a good reason, but that does not give her the right to verbally abuse a young man doing a rotten job in this heat. You can make every excuse in the book for her, but rudeness is never acceptable.

As for the hospital excuse .... My husband was in the hospital THIS WEEK, it did not give me the right to verbally abuse anyone because I was scared out of my head, in fact quite the opposite.

[Topspinmo]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:


If they was nasty before they moved here their going to be nasty period. Just cause moved in villages don’t automatically make the prefect kind and giving person. I’ll stop short there. :)

[Gpsma]

Lots of Karens here.

Most come from Midwestern states

[CFrance]

Lots of Karens here.

Most come from Midwestern states
Please explain.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

And what states produce people who don't know that New York isn't a New England state?

[Escape Artist]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

I experienced an odd instance when I came to TV for a lifestyle visit. I was driving my golf cart according to the GPS info from The Villages app when a woman in another golf cart was crazily waving and screaming at me in a rude and hostile manner. Maybe she thought I was going to get on the turnpike or perhaps another busy road with no golf cart lane but she was gesticulating frantically. However, not with the furrowed brow of concern but with an angry face. I think she may have even flipped me off at the end!

By the way, that app isn't always correct, nor is Google maps so you have to just learn by experience and mistakes sometimes. I had discovered my error and was ready to turn around even before she started her little performance.

[JMintzer]

Sometimes rudeness is a perceived or personal condition. I have had two people, in this forum, apologize for being rude to me, but I never perceived what they said to me as being rude. Or, maybe rudeness is a condition of where one was raised. I was raised in a big, northeast city, not NYC though. When we first came to Florida in 1979, most of the people on the west side of the state were from the middle of the country. My wife and I were so taken aback, by how nice people were, we thought we had left the states for another country.

The people who apologized were probably Canadian...

They apologize for EVERYTHING! :1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

(And I love them for it!)

[JMintzer]

And what states produce people who don't know that New York isn't a New England state?

Yeah! New England wouldn't have them... :icon_wink:

[John41]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

I can’t get over the slightly nosy people who jump to conclusions.

[Nucky]

Yea it was someone from the Tri-State area. What are you gonna do about it? Try living there and not be the way we can be sometimes. You would have never survived to get to The Villages. We all can't be from Walnut Grove.

Shake it off. Keep moving. Lifes too short to fuss.

Maybe the lady needed to get to a bathroom. Maybe the man was saving her from getting hit by a steamroller. Construction people can be rough. Maybe he just got ripped by another Villager, who knows.

If it was that important maybe you should have gone to help. Good point but you'll NEVER acknowledge it, EVER.

[Topspinmo]

Lots of Karens here.

Most come from Midwestern states

O please, the northeast out number them 10 to 1. :popcorn:

[chenault55]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

It’s just a little satisfying to know she’s probably got big problems with the tar on her tires and automobile, not fun to get off of various surfaces. So, there’s that.😜

[Nannyof3]

I've been here 12+ years and have only witnessed that type of behavior once or maybe twice. My experience is 95% of the people here are very nice, kind and generous .

[Girlcopper]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

Thats just the typical ignorant people who feel the world should kiss their feet. Most have few friends since no one wants to tolerate the entitled crap attitude. The day will come when they will scream at the wrong person and find themselves spitting teeth. I sure hope Im there to witness it too.

[Annie66]

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

Oh please ..... why would you go there?

[graciegirl]

I've been here 12+ years and have only witnessed that type of behavior once or maybe twice. My experience is 95% of the people here are very nice, kind and generous .

Me too!

[George Page]

Boston

Love that dirty water…………

[George Page]

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

Sometimes the educated, sophisticated, and intelligent New Englanders lose patience with the Village idiots here and we come across as being rude.
I am fighting the urge.
But, I’m wondering …..
Do they teach 5th grade Geography where you come from?

NEW YORK is not a NEW ENGLAND state!!!

[jack.hunter00@yahoo.com]

You are correct, full of rude people that feel more privileged and above others.
It's best to ignore and laugh.

[Hape2Bhr]

Sometimes the educated, sophisticated, and intelligent New Englanders lose patience with the Village idiots here and we come across as being rude.
I am fighting the urge.
But, I’m wondering …..
Do they teach 5th grade Geography where you come from?

NEW YORK is not a NEW ENGLAND state!!!

WOW, WOW, WOW...so many people who do not understand sarcasm. :1rotfl:

[cwnavy1]

Seems to me that lots of folks from the northeastern states can be rude in their initial visits here, and even when they first move here. I think it takes a few years for those folks to understand they don’t need that protection here and they start mellowing.

[NoMo50]

We've all seen this type of behavior many times, in many situations. The OP's example was a roadway worker, but it could be just about anyone. Ever get hung up in a grocery line while someone is fishing through their purse for a dozen coupons? Ever get stuck on the course behind a foursome that each take 4 shots to reach a par 3? How about that guy at the fast food counter trying to place an order for 8 people?

Folks that react beligerently to these situations usually have a common trait...an entitlement mentality. The old "my time is more important than your time" attitude. You can't change folks like this, as they have probably been that way for most of their adult life. Life is way too short to run around being PO'd a all the time. When I encounter someone like that, I will typically chuckle at the least, or even outwardly laugh at their behavior. If you buy into the fracas, it only escalates things and generally goes downhill quickly.

[barbnick]

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

Ohio

[MDLNB]

I understand that Pack-N-Ship has a new "breathable" bubble wrap made especially for soft-sensitive folks that are easily injured by sharp or blunt language.

[Ptmckiou]

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

…and here I thought, I was the only person that thought that way. Indeed, no evil involved. People that murder are mentally unbalanced, or they wouldn’t harm others. Aggressive anger behavior is a mental illness. It’s not normal behavior. Unfortunately, there are a lot of mentally ill people around and it doesn’t help that today’s society doesn’t support much help in this area.

[MrZero]

You did take a leap there. I never said what should be done. I said I believe anti-social behavior is a form of mental illness. And anti-social behavior is contextual.

For example, someone breaks into your house and is attempting to kill your family, that is mental illness. If you kill them to prevent them from killing your family, that is not a mental illness.

We currently do not understand how the mind/brain works well enough to have effective treatments. In general mental health, today boils down to treating or suppressing symptoms - mostly.

But, as I said, I do not believe in "good and evil". I believe that some people are mentally ill, and others aren't. If what you do is for your personal benefit and not society, then I believe that is a form of mental illness.

And yes, I do not believe there is any evidence that jails/prisons do more good than harm. They sort of come down to expensive crime universities. Prisons are a fairly modern invention that has never worked well. They basically isolate mentally ill people from society "for a while".

This opens a "can of worms," but I won't belabor the point. I believe evil does exist: drug cartels, human trafficking, child molesters, etc. My pastor always said "hurt people, hurt people." Anger is generally a manifestation of some inward pain a person is experiencing IMO (not a psychiatrist just play one on television). We all fall short so grace works for me. Sometime just a kind work in the face of a rude person works, but sometimes it does not. Attitude is everything. We are all sisters and brothers after all. :icon_wink:

[Beyond The Wall]

I have a minor in Astronomy :icon_wink:. When the the moon is the waxing phase and Jupiter aligns with Mars, it brings out the worst in people… Seriously I have met a occasional person having a bad day, but I find most people in TV to kind and friendly . I find the younger people who visit or in big box stores to be much more hostile. Yes, people somethings drive too slow for my liking and the parking areas are the most dangerous. Deal with it. Everyday is a Saturday and think back to to working and what shopping and doing things were like on a weekend.
My best friend is an NY islander fan and another likes Boston Bruins and Red Sox, all teams my mortal enemies!
I am hostile to their teams , not them.:bigbow:

[BrendaF]

I had a minor in psychology. I still remember the introduction to a course in abnormal psychology. The prof stated as you read this you will think you have all these disorders and you do. It is a problem only when you can't control it and you either harm yourself or harm others.

I recall another study involving brain scans. A certain pattern indicated a mental disorder. The one doing the study, in a blind test selected out of whatever the number of scans it was those showing this problem. One of the ones he selected as clearly having this problem. WAS HIS.
I remember the story. James Fallon was the guy who had it.

[Gray lady of the sea]

Thank you for asking that question. I had the same thought We might want to discuss this theory with the families of the thousands of innocent people killed in this country alone. I DO believe in evil

[Gray lady of the sea]

THANK YOU ! I agree completely

[KRMACK55]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:
It’s the concept of living in this bubbie and as it grows our sense of territorialism increases with the more population ! The place is nothing special but folks were sold this concept. Things will get worse as this place grows too large as it’s doing now.

[kendi]

It happens anywhere, not just TV. The same with people who feel the need to spread their negative experiences on social media. “Getting used to it” is not the key. Stop ruminating about it and move on. Simple as that.

[Zenmama18]

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

You may have a point. I remember some of my older relatives getting that way as they aged. Some were downright nasty!

[ThirdOfFive]

I've been here 12+ years and have only witnessed that type of behavior once or maybe twice. My experience is 95% of the people here are very nice, kind and generous .
I agree completely. My thought is that the reason these things get noticed is because they are so rare. If they happened all the time we'd probably just take them in stride.

[MrFlorida]

Well, coming from the Northeast, I find people in Florida very friendly and courteous.

[Pginbr]

Tos

[GrumpyOldMan]

Or, what allows us to feel we must post it here. I don’t see where there is any mention of having knowledge or details of what occurred between 2 people in TV. Did the worker run over her dog? Did he confront her first? Was it a family member? We don’t know anything. Peeking out from s garage after hearing a squabble, but not having any details of what happened, constitutes dropping a post on a site that is for information about TV?

I agree we don't know much about what happened. But, at the same time, I don't recall any rules specifying the allowable content on this site (other than no politics). It seems many feel the site should only contain content they approve of. And that is a sad thing. I welcome all content anyone feels like posting. If I am not interested in it, I don't read it.

[ThirdOfFive]

We've all seen this type of behavior many times, in many situations. The OP's example was a roadway worker, but it could be just about anyone. Ever get hung up in a grocery line while someone is fishing through their purse for a dozen coupons? Ever get stuck on the course behind a foursome that each take 4 shots to reach a par 3? How about that guy at the fast food counter trying to place an order for 8 people?

Folks that react beligerently to these situations usually have a common trait...an entitlement mentality. The old "my time is more important than your time" attitude. You can't change folks like this, as they have probably been that way for most of their adult life. Life is way too short to run around being PO'd a all the time. When I encounter someone like that, I will typically chuckle at the least, or even outwardly laugh at their behavior. If you buy into the fracas, it only escalates things and generally goes downhill quickly.
Excellent point.

I have no problem with people making honest mistakes, especially if rushed. My patience sometimes wears thin when I deal with people with an obvious bad attitude.

Some time back we were eating at a restaurant at Lake Sumter Landing. Our waitress was obviously off her game. Her service for us was just adequate. She made no bones about loudly telling a co-worker (loud enough that we as well as several diners could hear) that she had been called in on her day off and was P.O.'ed at management for doing that. She got noticeably upset when, having waited for nearly ten minutes for a requested coffee refill from her, I asked another waitress, who brought it right away. My wife could see my anger building and urged me not to say anything.

I didn't. What I DID do was to slap down a $10 tip for a $30 tab, accompanying it with the comment "I hope your day improves". It got an incredulous look from her, followed by a big smile.

[cassjax2]

I was in Publix yesterday in produce section. A young man and older lady were discussing avocados but also standing in front of a item I needed. I politely waited while they went on and on. A lady came between myself and the young man to reach around him and get her item. She then left the area. When I got to the other side of the store she saw me and walked up to me and apologized!! Made my day.

[jmcica@aol.com]

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:
New England consists of Connecticut, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island and Massachusetts

[GrumpyOldMan]

New England consists of Connecticut, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island and Massachusetts

Hmm, I thought those were all part of the US, did that change?

[Djean1981]

I think there are rude people everywhere. The difference here may be that people participate in community activities and such. Before retirement, it's pretty much to work all day and back home.. rinse and repeat..

[Travelingal702]

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don't tar everyone with the same brush!!!

[Rodneysblue]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

I don’t think it’s just here. It’s everywhere. When we are up north the same thing can be found.

[ThirdOfFive]

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don't tar everyone with the same brush!!!
We've met several Nooo Yawkers. Nice folks, all. out of all the Villagers we've met, I can count the noticeably rude ones on the fingers of one hand and have a a finger or two left over.

But...two of 'em were Brits. I'm not sure what that says.

[airstreamingypsy]

I think the problem here is it's getting too crowded. The more people you put together, the worse it will get. The lines, the traffic, the crowded restaurants. The Villages has grown so much that it has become a city, with that you get city problems. Fasten your seatbelts, it's only going to get worse.

[DaleDivine]

Well, coming from the Northeast, I find people in Florida very friendly and courteous.

I'm not from the Northeast but agree about friendly Florida people.
:mademyday::ho::clap2:

[DaleDivine]

New England consists of Connecticut, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island and Massachusetts
Thanks for the geography lesson.
:bigbow::bigbow::a040:

[jimjamuser]

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.
That was a GREAT, thought-provoking, and informative post. I am glad that I read it.

[jimjamuser]

Gerontology 101. In my former life I provided interventional and case-management services for vulnerable adults, most of them post-retirement age.
Interesting life work.

[Ghat724@gmail.com]

The fact that our country is pulling apart and we as a country is in decline is stressing all of us. No wonder we see anxious and rude behavior!

[jimjamuser]

You did take a leap there. I never said what should be done. I said I believe anti-social behavior is a form of mental illness. And anti-social behavior is contextual.

For example, someone breaks into your house and is attempting to kill your family, that is mental illness. If you kill them to prevent them from killing your family, that is not a mental illness.

We currently do not understand how the mind/brain works well enough to have effective treatments. In general mental health, today boils down to treating or suppressing symptoms - mostly.

But, as I said, I do not believe in "good and evil". I believe that some people are mentally ill, and others aren't. If what you do is for your personal benefit and not society, then I believe that is a form of mental illness.

And yes, I do not believe there is any evidence that jails/prisons do more good than harm. They sort of come down to expensive crime universities. Prisons are a fairly modern invention that has never worked well. They basically isolate mentally ill people from society "for a while".
I understand that Japan has a different attitude to prison reform than the US. Perhaps we should be more open to the different methods of other countries like Japan. I understand that the US is the most incarcerated country of all. I am not sure if that is as a total number or as a % of the population.

[John41]

I understand that Japan has a different attitude to prison reform than the US. Perhaps we should be more open to the different methods of other countries like Japan. I understand that the US is the most incarcerated country of all. I am not sure if that is as a total number or as a % of the population.

How many African Americans are in Japan? There’s your incarceration answer.

[kcrazorbackfan]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

It’s the people that think they are the privileged/entitled.

[jimjamuser]

Yup - :)

I am NOT saying I have an answer or a solution. Just my opinion.

There are a ton of issues with my philosophy - like, WHO gets to decide what is good or bad for society. (In my world, I do, but I could see some here disagreeing with that - LOL)

And does society have the right to "alter" (cure?) a person who is mentally ill?

I don't know, I just have my ill-formed opinion.
The question is, does society have a right to "cure" a teenage gang member's violence - that was the subject of the older "Clockwork Orange" movie. Which for its time period was quite good, thought-provoking, and correctly predicted increased gang violence, which we see today. There have been many other movies with that subject also.

Interestingly........you could say that at one time England "cured" its aberrant behaviors and violence problem by sending them all to Australia. I assume that it was less costly and more convenient than storing all of them in prison in England.

[jimjamuser]

Some of the reasons for control in earlier years is parental influence, well known that parents can keep adults in check, and when the parents' pass away, they show less restraint as there are no perceived down side from parental influence.

The other is life gets harder as you age, both mentally and physically, and that either or both can cause less emotional restraint. . . well known that CTE (concussion related brain injuries) reduces restraint, and I have had a couple of my own from 7 concussions early in life. Also, missing a medical addiction fix or crutch can cause lack of emotional restraint.

And then some are just having really bad days, not the normal but really bad, with very bad news, very bad diagnosis, and the like. . . .

So yes, as we age, seniors get cranky and funny. . . . and I have warned my kids

psych guy
I have had at least 3 concussions in my "wild and crazy" yoodtuth, which may have affected my adult and elderly behavior negatively. The long-term downside of concussions is probably leading to so many parents NOT wanting their children to participate in football. It could also be the reason that women outlive men on average. Maybe if society was SUPER smart they would convince people under 21 or so to constantly wear a lightweight helmet? Of course, that is NOT going to happen, I just "threw" that out as conjecture.

[GrumpyOldMan]

The question is, does society have a right to "cure" a teenage gang member's violence - that was the subject of the older "Clockwork Orange" movie. Which for its time period was quite good, thought-provoking, and correctly predicted increased gang violence, which we see today. There have been many other movies with that subject also.

Interestingly........you could say that at one time England "cured" its aberrant behaviors and violence problem by sending them all to Australia. I assume that it was less costly and more convenient than storing all of them in prison in England.

One idea I entertained 'when I was younger was, we "own" a BUNCH of islands. We have this HUGE Navy with not much to do between wars. Let's combine the two. Give people 3 strikes and your gone option. Be convicted of 3 felonies and you are dropped on an island and left there to fend for yourself with all the other felons. The Navy would patrol the area to make sure no one tried to leave on a raft or whatever. The idea was basically, if you don't want to live here and obey the rules (laws) then we will kick you out. I moderated it to allow a 3 month period in jail for you to appeal to some country to allow you to be deported there. If you couldn't find any, then off to the island you go.

I have since decided it is not practical, and probably not moral or ethical.

[kcrazorbackfan]

Lots of Karens here.

Most come from Midwestern states

Oh, I seriously doubt it; grew up in the Midwest and we’re pretty much docile and laid back until confronted by a person from the Northeast trying to bully their way into everything.

[TedfromGA]

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

In my opinion we as a society have become very self centered and narcissistic to the point that rudeness and bad behavior is acceptable. It began when individuals felt it was OK to make nasty remarks as anonymous on social media. Now due to woke behavior there is no reason to “hide” behind saying or doing something anonymously. Geez, crime is taking place in broad daylight with no regard to consequences. Rioting, looting/shop lifting, violence is becoming the norm.

I was brought up to say nothing if I couldn’t be pleasant. My children were brought up the same. I respect authority unless it becomes autocratic, and then I try to be solution oriented. Compromise and respecting opinions different from mine has become unpopular.

From what the poster provider the first thought that came to mind was that the woman had no regard to the young man doing his job, all that was important is what she wanted or needed to do. Before anyone states I have no empathy for the “woman”, if there had been an emergency that required her presence, a simple explanation to the young man may have changed everything. (Of course that may have occurred but isn’t known). Nothing was stated but my impression is that the young man didn’t resort to yelling back - good for him.

Ok I’ll get off my soapbox and for the record this is the wife of the TOV account holder…some days I just need to vent…:):) and don’t get me started on the topic of golf and the lack of course management that we players have in keeping ball marks and divots repaired. :pray:

[chicksinger]

My husband runs into people all the time that just can't understand why they are being held back from entering a particular street. When you see flashing lights or big trucks that appear to be in the way of using that street, there's obviously something going on that is blocking it. It could be maintenance, repair or worse... how difficult is it to just accept the fact that you just need to turn around and come in from the back side of it if you really need to get onto that street further down the road. The phrase, "Don't shoot the messenger" is really apropos here. Try to imagine the people not letting you through might be all that stands between you and something not so good. Ever heard of giving someone the benefit of the doubt????

[jimjamuser]

It’s the concept of living in this bubbie and as it grows our sense of territorialism increases with the more population ! The place is nothing special but folks were sold this concept. Things will get worse as this place grows too large as it’s doing now.
I agree that things will get worse here as the chaos and tribalism grow nationwide.

[GrumpyOldMan]

My husband runs into people all the time that just can't understand why they are being held back from entering a particular street. When you see flashing lights or big trucks that appear to be in the way of using that street, there's obviously something going on that is blocking it. It could be maintenance, repair or worse... how difficult is it to just accept the fact that you just need to turn around and come in from the back side of it if you really need to get onto that street further down the road. The phrase, "Don't shoot the messenger" is really apropos here. Try to imagine the people not letting you through might be all that stands between you and something not so good. Ever heard of giving someone the benefit of the doubt????

Well, personally the first thing that comes to my mind when I see that is the had nothing better to do and just wanted to annoy people, so they blocked the road - sigh...

(sarcasm)

[GrumpyOldMan]

///

[jimjamuser]

I think the problem here is it's getting too crowded. The more people you put together, the worse it will get. The lines, the traffic, the crowded restaurants. The Villages has grown so much that it has become a city, with that you get city problems. Fasten your seatbelts, it's only going to get worse.
IMO the whole country got overcrowded after about 175 Million people.

[stanley]

IMO the whole country got overcrowded after about 175 Million people.

Do you have kids of your own?

[NoMoSno]

IMO the whole country got overcrowded after about 175 Million people.
Last week you said 225 million????

[jimjamuser]

How many African Americans are in Japan? There’s your incarceration answer.
An over-simplification and an example of one tribe blaming the "OTHER" tribe for problems that could have been solved 75 years ago.

[jimjamuser]

One idea I entertained 'when I was younger was, we "own" a BUNCH of islands. We have this HUGE Navy with not much to do between wars. Let's combine the two. Give people 3 strikes and your gone option. Be convicted of 3 felonies and you are dropped on an island and left there to fend for yourself with all the other felons. The Navy would patrol the area to make sure no one tried to leave on a raft or whatever. The idea was basically, if you don't want to live here and obey the rules (laws) then we will kick you out. I moderated it to allow a 3 month period in jail for you to appeal to some country to allow you to be deported there. If you couldn't find any, then off to the island you go.

I have since decided it is not practical, and probably not moral or ethical.
Tough times call for tough solutions.........that is just 1/2 serious.......just to be thought-provoking.

[GrumpyOldMan]

IMO the whole country got overcrowded after about 175 Million people.

Most people are not aware of this, it kind of looks like the exponential growth of a virus. Maybe Agent Smith was right!

[momchaves]

sooo what city in the new england states can you guess where this rude person is from......lol

boston?

[jimjamuser]

Last week you said 225 million????
Then some may remember my main reason why.........A.I. and Robotics will create excess unemployment. I could be satisfied with even 250 Million. But, what really needs to be done is a sophisticated computer calculation of what the IDEAL population would be in the US - taking into consideration space and natural resources. Anyone can read articles today about Scientific doubt as to whether the US can feed itself in the future? MY guess is that it would fall between 175 and 250 Million people. That way there would be fewer rude people due to less crowding pressure and other pressures that we have been talking about.

[GrumpyOldMan]

Then some may remember my main reason why.........A.I. and Robotics will create excess unemployment. I could be satisfied with even 250 Million. But, what really needs to be done is a sophisticated computer calculation of what the IDEAL population would be in the US - taking into consideration space and natural resources. Anyone can read articles today about Scientific doubt as to whether the US can feed itself in the future? MY guess is that it would fall between 175 and 250 Million people. That way there would be fewer rude people due to less crowding pressure and other pressures that we have been talking about.

I expect that in our kid's lifetime (assuming no major reset happens) there will be no more "jobs". All work will be done by "robots".

How we deal with an economy with no scarcity is yet to be understood. ALL our current economic models are based on the assumption of continuous growth.

I expect at least part of the transition will be to implement an "automation" tax, to pay for a Universal Basic Income, for people displaced by automation.

[John41]

IMO the whole country got overcrowded after about 175 Million people.

I agree. In 1956 the US population hit 175 million. Those were great years: Elvis appears on Ed Sullivan, NY Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in the World Series, tail fins on cars.

Lots of studies have shown overcrowding breeds aggression.

[Velvet]

Or, what allows us to feel we must post it here. I don’t see where there is any mention of having knowledge or details of what occurred between 2 people in TV. Did the worker run over her dog? Did he confront her first? Was it a family member? We don’t know anything. Peeking out from a garage after hearing a squabble, but not having any details of what happened, constitutes dropping a post on a site that is for information about TV?

Because… we try to help each other. OP is welcome to express her opinion, as are you.

[Laker14]

According to Wikipedia, as of 2018 there are 19,495 incorporated cities, towns and villages in the United States. 14,768 of these have populations below 5,000. Only ten have populations above 1 million and none are above 10 million. 310 cities are considered at least medium cities with populations of 100,000 or more.
I'll bet every one of them has at least two rude people. Some of them have more.

[Spalumbos62]

According to Wikipedia, as of 2018 there are 19,495 incorporated cities, towns and villages in the United States. 14,768 of these have populations below 5,000. Only ten have populations above 1 million and none are above 10 million. 310 cities are considered at least medium cities with populations of 100,000 or more.
I'll bet every one of them has at least two rude people. Some of them have more.



Lol...lol..wow this post went wild with many snarky detours. I laugh because it's so ironic that the root of the post was about an upset old lady loosing her cheerios at a street worker.
Go back, reread it....I think you will all see the humor....honestly

[Velvet]

Lol...lol..wow this post went wild with many snarky detours. I laugh because it's so ironic that the root of the post was about an upset old lady loosing her cheerios at a street worker.
Go back, reread it....I think you will all see the humor....honestly

Yep! The funniest thing to me is someone trying to justify rudeness, by being rude themselves.

[Pginbr]

Tos

[JMintzer]

Hmm, I thought those were all part of the US, did that change?

One can only hope... :1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl: