The real story about making and/or mainaining friendships amung TV residences.

[AbbyPye]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

[Toymeister]

Let me summarize the question.

How many of you have developed true friendships here?

[golfing eagles]

Let me summarize the question.

How many of you have developed true friendships here?

But add "without swinging"

[Tom52]

We have been here about 2-1/2 years, didn't know a soul here. We are not extroverted people so we knew we would have to put in the work to make friends we could socialize with. We immediately joined three clubs but have made only a few friends that way. We made an effort to introduce ourselves to surrounding neighbors with some limited success. We found that joining into the neighborhood couples, mens, and ladies golf groups yielded the most connections to new friends. We have a group that plays cards in our neighborhood. DW took up mah jong and has a weekly group here in our home. We have a good group of really nice friends now and are fairly active. You have to take the first steps and put yourself out there to develop new friendships. Good luck!

[Stu from NYC]

We knew one couple that we would socialize with when we moved here.

Best way we found to make a good circle of friends is to join a bunch of socially active clubs.

[graciegirl]

We have been here about 2-1/2 years, didn't know a soul here. We are not extroverted people so we knew we would have to put in the work to make friends we could socialize with. We immediately joined three clubs but have made only a few friends that way. We made an effort to introduce ourselves to surrounding neighbors with some limited success. We found that joining into the neighborhood couples, mens, and ladies golf groups yielded the most connections to new friends. We have a group that plays cards in our neighborhood. DW took up mah jong and has a weekly group here in our home. We have a good group of really nice friends now and are fairly active. You have to take the first steps and put yourself out there to develop new friendships. Good luck!

I agree. It takes time for people to know each other well. It is sometimes difficult to not have "old" friends around us here that have known us for years and years.

It isn't easy to find COMFORTABLE friendships.

[spd2918]

If you don't make friends where you currently live, then you won't make them here. You are you no matter where you go.

That being said, there are lots of activities in which to make friends here. An introvert could challenge themselves to make friends.

[raynan]

I think it depends on your neighborhood. We moved in almost 11 years ago into a newly built neighborhood so no one knew anybody. Right off the bat the neighborhood had driveway parties that grew to socials at our rec ctr and a neighborhood website was set up. One girl had a girl's coffee at her house and everyone brought their own mug. That was a real ice breaker and got the women comfortable with each other. The website invited people to lead golf groups, card groups, book clubs etc. I started a "chick flick" outing once a month followed by lunch and that is going on 11 years. New groups start up as the neighborhood changes but the website is critical to keep everyone in the know of what's available for all. Smaller groups start up with people who have made closer friendships such as dining out together. I think it is harder to move into an established neighborhood especially if it is not an active one or does not have a website. Our neighborhood goes out of its way to welcome new people in. We are the Jacaranda Island section of Pennecamp and homes in our "hood" sell fast.

[DAVES]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

It is no different here from anywhere else. Friends, I take that term seriously. Perhaps, like so many other overused words for many it becomes meaningless. A simple example,"awesome." I think, I HOPE, it is fading but, when everything is awesome, the word means nothing.

I recall speaking to a real friend who said his daughter has ???? 2,000 friends on facebook, my reply was and she knows three of them.

[MrFlorida]

Join clubs, or groups , that's the best way to meet people here.

[DAVES]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

In terms of the Villages, I recall the ad for the Sunday Times newspaper-it was huge.
There line was you do not need to read it all but it is nice to know it is all here.

Different stages of life? This place is a Disneyland for seniors. I regularly laugh. Today is Saturday food shopping day. I recall when I was younger, working my xxxxx off. If, I went to the bank for example, why all the old folks needed to hold me up while they get their interest posted. Now I wonder why these old folks are in such a rush, all bent out of shape are they in a rush to get to THEIR funeral?

Another ad campaign, If you can't be happy here you will not be happy anywhere.

[manaboutown]

I have found it easy to make new friends and acquaintances here as I have most places I have resided. However I am mindful one cannot make new old friends. Deep human bonding takes time.

[GrumpyOldMan]

I believe this is called The Villages and not Stepford.

My point is everyone is different. I expect MOST people that. come here come for the social opportunities, not us.

My wife and I are hermits. We don't do social well if at all. So, we don't have many/any real friends here.

We moved here for several reasons, amenities, the rapid response of EMTs, security, etc. Previously we lived about 15 miles outside of a small town on 11 acres. Our closest neighbor was 1/2 mile away. We had a pond and heavily wooded acreage for our dogs.

We gave up a lot to move here. But, we gained a lot that we feel is important at this point in our lives.

We are just on polite speaking terms with our immediate neighbors, and that is fine for us.

[Kenswing]

We're in a new Village. We already have several friends that we go out with on a regular basis. We talk with our neighbors almost daily. And when I say neighbors I pretty much mean any house that's visible from ours.

Since it is a new village most people are new and looking for friends to share activities with. That's why a lot of us moved here. We also have many scheduled neighborhood meet & greets where we can meet lots of new people.

There's pretty much something for everyone. You only need to be as active or inactive as you want to be.

[Kenswing]

If you don't make friends where you currently live, then you won't make them here. You are you no matter where you go.

That being said, there are lots of activities in which to make friends here. An introvert could challenge themselves to make friends.
I disagree with that. Where we moved from we were on 4 acres as were most of the properties around us. We worked full time. Had a large yard to keep up. Had parents that needed lots of care. We simply didn't have time for many friends. Here we do, and have made many.

[ThirdOfFive]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby
Good question. Making friends is a two-way street. The more outgoing and friendly you are, the greater the chance of encountering similar people.

It is a pretty well-known fact that people form fewer friendships as they age. One's ideals and morals tend to solidify with age and we become less tolerant of people who don't share them, people who are moderately introverted as younger people tend to become much more so as seniors, leaving a circle of friends we may have had for years and moving here to TV often means that our friendship-making skills are rusty from disuse, etc. All those things, plus more, impact friendship-making for older folks.

But (a personal opinion here) one very big reason we don't form close personal friendships is--SOCIAL MEDIA. As in Talk Of The Villages. In years past if you wanted to know the opinions of the people around you and share yours with them, you had to do it in person. You had to have that personal contact and develop the connection to the point that you are comfortable with that interaction on a personal level. Social media drastically inhibits that. Only something like 7% of real person-to-person communication is actual words, the other 93% consists of eye contact (or not), body language, general appearance, voice tone, volume, smiles (or not) etc. etc. There is really none of that here. Don't get me wrong. Social media is a great tool for those who are otherwise unable to have personal contacts because of disability, distance, etc. But it does nothing to help one develop friendships on a real, personal, human level.

[2newyorkers]

I have made many new wonderful friends here in TV. Besides larger groups like playing BUNCO find smaller groups that you have common interests such as book club, dancing, singing, sports, volunteering, etc.

[davem4616]

I think it depends on your neighborhood. We moved in almost 11 years ago into a newly built neighborhood so no one knew anybody. Right off the bat the neighborhood had driveway parties that grew to socials at our rec ctr and a neighborhood website was set up. One girl had a girl's coffee at her house and everyone brought their own mug. That was a real ice breaker and got the women comfortable with each other. The website invited people to lead golf groups, card groups, book clubs etc. I started a "chick flick" outing once a month followed by lunch and that is going on 11 years. New groups start up as the neighborhood changes but the website is critical to keep everyone in the know of what's available for all. Smaller groups start up with people who have made closer friendships such as dining out together. I think it is harder to move into an established neighborhood especially if it is not an active one or does not have a website. Our neighborhood goes out of its way to welcome new people in. We are the Jacaranda Island section of Pennecamp and homes in our "hood" sell fast.



Same with us...moved into a newly built Cul de Sac...we all clicked, we have driveway parties, invite each other to our homes, someone on the street is sick, they get baked goodies, NY Eve we have a block party, there's a golf group, the gals go out to lunch and have a book club...we go out to dinner as couples, we watch each other's homes when anyone is away....we actually care about each other....you walk up the street and people come out to say hello...we borrow stuff from each other....the other day we got a text 'do you have any vanilla extract?'... you need a ride to have your eyes examined and your spouse doesn't drive, ask anyone on the street...our church has also provided a closeness and friends that we linger with after services, some have been to he house for dinner

best neighborhood we've ever lived in

[Velvet]

Our neighborhood is established but friendly. If you check out something on a person’s lawn they invite you in to tell you all about it. They range in age and past occupation and level of extroversion but one picks up on that. I think they actually look forwards to a little “new blood”. New stories etc. There are established behaviors, you don’t go bare chested, you don’t let your dog on someone’s lawn unless they specifically said you could in the past, etc. etc. A new person might want to see how to fit in first. Just an occasional walk around the neighborhood is enough to meet others around here.

Oh another thing, if we have a “swingers” they must be keeping it to themselves. The most I’ve been offered was by an old gentleman on a walker, whose dash hound got away from him and ran to me. He smiled and asked, “You want a dog?”

[krash]

We got involved in a group of 8 couples, and there was a lot of cattiness amongst the women. Sometimes 4 or 5 of the ladies would get together and talk dirty about the others that were not invited. The men seemed to get along better, but they too had some awkward moments... most likely testosterone related. We whittled it down to just one couple, who we shared the same type of humor with, but going out to dinner or drinks was ALWAYS embarrassing as the wife would complain about something, or had to "change" the recipe of the food on the menu - can you add this... can you substitute that... and, of course, when made to her specifications, she didn't like it. So we opted to dining at each other's house every month... until the 2020 election, and our political ideas did not coincide... and that ended that.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

I made a couple of friends in my neighborhood before we even closed on the house. I was also invited to a driveway party which I missed because I'd never heard of such a thing and was embarrassed to ask (now I know better). I was also invited to the Ladies Lunch, which was a monthly get-together at whatever restaurant they select during the previous month's lunch. Just around 8-10 women on our block. But then COVID happened and people needed to be extra cautious, combined with a limited list of places to eat because of necessary closures at the time. Then things opened back up, but some of the women moved out, another passed away, and the group hasn't been back together since before COVID.

Once another of my neighbors gets back from her trip, I'll work with her to get it going again. With NEW ladies living in the neighborhood now!

[Laker14]

We were fortunate in that we found TV because really close friends of ours from up north bought in Largo when it was first being built. It took us a while to retire and get down here, but when we did we had a ready made social circle. My buddy got me into his golf group right away.
On top of that, my wife has made quite a few close friends from playing pickleball.
We just bought our first house in an established neighborhood, and we are getting to know the neighbors. Everyone is friendly, but real friendships flourish when there is a sharing of interests. It could be golf, cards, pickle, art, etc. and that's the beauty of TV. There are so many activities that you are bound to meet kindred spirits. They may be in your neighborhood, or not, but they are out there if you are at all interested in making friends.

My first year down renting I went to a pickleball rating clinic and met a guy, and from that one conversation standing in line we have become friends. It's easy. The hard part is finding time for all of the people you find interesting.

[RICH1]

If your doubting making friends , get your Medical Marijuana card !

[Deb1093]

We just moved here in June. We are in a new neighborhood. We have found that everyone is so friendly and welcoming. We have already made some friends that we have been to dinner with and to a concert. I have a couple of new friends that I walk with and go to exercise classes with. I agree with some of what has been said, that you can be as active as you want, which will help to make friends. I have found that because we are all in the same boat, we are new here, left another place, and are in the same stage of life, friendships are easier for those who are notoriously less social. Finding activities that you enjoy will present opportunities to meet people. Just saying hello, with a smile, can start a conversation!

[jswirs]

one cannot make new old friends .[/B] Deep human bonding takes time.
This is so very true. I have made friends here, good friends, but I miss the friendship I had up north, some of which were from my childhood. We're talking friends for over 65 years. That cannot be duplicated.

[MandoMan]

But add "without swinging"

Do you mean without swinging golf clubs?

[Luggage]

I retired 20 years ago lived in two different communities and basically while I may know 10 or 20 or 30 people none what I consider close friends but maybe three or four are medium friends. Clicks are formed, summer tight some are loose but I would say no more block I have two sets of neighbors that I would go out with if asked or if I ask they would say yes and I am known by many because of my posts on next door and here but you know people are really strange. The nicest people I know are those in other communities that I go out with once every three or four months with us or come over and play board games once in awhile. I think it also helps if you belong to a religious group and go to their churches handjob people seem to like that better. My wife runs the book club those who water volleyball and bingo and this has some friends that way but only very few that are close and this is after 10 years. Possibly it is because there is too much to do here and people even retired don't seem to have time. Whenever I meet anybody new here I always say we're in that yellow house please knock on the door and stop by and have a cup of coffee but I've never been taken up on it and all my 20 years

[Donegalkid]

Good question. Making friends is a two-way street. The more outgoing and friendly you are, the greater the chance of encountering similar people.

It is a pretty well-known fact that people form fewer friendships as they age. One's ideals and morals tend to solidify with age and we become less tolerant of people who don't share them, people who are moderately introverted as younger people tend to become much more so as seniors, leaving a circle of friends we may have had for years and moving here to TV often means that our friendship-making skills are rusty from disuse, etc. All those things, plus more, impact friendship-making for older folks.

But (a personal opinion here) one very big reason we don't form close personal friendships is--SOCIAL MEDIA. As in Talk Of The Villages. In years past if you wanted to know the opinions of the people around you and share yours with them, you had to do it in person. You had to have that personal contact and develop the connection to the point that you are comfortable with that interaction on a personal level. Social media drastically inhibits that. Only something like 7% of real person-to-person communication is actual words, the other 93% consists of eye contact (or not), body language, general appearance, voice tone, volume, smiles (or not) etc. etc. There is really none of that here. Don't get me wrong. Social media is a great tool for those who are otherwise unable to have personal contacts because of disability, distance, etc. But it does nothing to help one develop friendships on a real, personal, human level.

Well said. There is no substitute for the face to face, personal interactions that can occur in true conversations. Active LISTENING and meaningful engagement can occur. I think there is far less cynicism, less “bomb throwing”, fewer snarky comments, and a lot less disinformation. So, a vote for groups and clubs and shared activities as a way to make good acquaintances and friends. Good luck!

[Black Beauty]

We live way up north in a group of 60 homes. I'd guess we know about a third of them. We do have a Christmas party. But 6 villas have sold in recent months, some the same day! I golf with a group of other villagers, we play pickelball, and swim/exercise daily. My wife has more 'club' activities, and volunteers to take disabled kids horse back riding. The opportunities here are endless....:bigbow:

[bonrich]

I find we have acquaintences and neighbors but none have elevated to a true friend. Unfair to compare to a former life, growing up with the neighborhood kids that you went to school with for 12 years. Parents knew each other, being welcome in a neighbors house, at times like it was a second Mother or Grandmother, remember? We shared, the good and the difficult times, celebrated and consoled, and I could always find a lawn to mow, walk to shovel snow, rake leaves to get some extra pocket money when growing up. Then as we aged, all was done at no charge, and without asking. We were fortunate to have such good memories.

[sallyg]

We were not "joiners" when we moved down here, and we are not especially out-going. We started going to some activities and met some very nice people who generously included us in their activities. Our neighbors were nice to chat with and then we moved south of 44. As someone else said in a separate post maybe because everyone is new in a newly built neighborhood it has been much more social. Lots of folks are making an effort to meet and get acquainted and have fun. You will do fine. Just participate in something you enjoy and you will meet people. It is pretty hard to make new old friends. So just keep in touch with your old friends and you won't be alone. They will likely visit you here. Good luck.

[KathB]

Deleted by writer.

[ThirdOfFive]

Can we delete a post?
I've never tried to delete a post here, but I would think that hitting the "edit/delete" button would do the trick. You might want to put "post deleted by writer" in place of the erased text. I've done that on other message boards.

[allsport]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

It truly depends on your neighborhood and some are better than others. If you live in villas they may be more attuned to snowbirds and that makes relationships a little harder. I have found that having dogs and walking every day through a couple of neighborhoods, I have made many lasting friendships with people I see and do things with several times a week. If your neighborhood has golf groups or ladies luncheons or social clubs, that helps build friendship circles. I have found that since retirement I have a larger social circle than I had when it was dependent upon kids sports teams and school functions while working full time.

[Queenie504]

It has absolutely nothing to do with your neighborhood. It is up to YOU to make friends and relationships no matter where you live and how old you may be. I've met some wonderful friends here and some duds, but YOU have to make the effort.

[kendi]

We have neighbors who have become great friends and have relatives in TV. Even if it takes awhile to find good friends, it’s good that in TV you can at least be around friendly people on a daily basis.

[Freehiker]

But add "without swinging"


Why? They can be great friends!

[TandHSTAR@AOL.com]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby
Well if you had a hard time making friends in your old neighborhood of course you will have a difficult time coming into a new community whether in an established area or new area of The Villages. No one is going to come to you door and say hi do you want to be friends. Unlike in our younger days when we met people through PTA, Scouting, etc. that does not happen here. Go out and play golf, learn to play different games at the rec centers. etc. The friends you make here are different than the ones you made or did not make up north. There are no lines, no one cares how much money you have, what kind of house you live in. What matters is your attitude and you are already being negative about moving here by even posting this question. This is not like shopping for a car but making connections with people. GOod luck.

[Gizemo33]

Toymeister, Peanut and Acccchmed are my two pals, we are inseparable.
Little Jeff, Bubba Ray, and jalapeño on a stick or in another group that we do not get along with.Let me summarize the question.

How many of you have developed true friendships here?

[Gizemo33]

Toymeister, peanut and Ahmed are my two pals, we are inseparable.

Little Jeff, Bubba Ray, And jalapeño on a stick do not get along with us.Let me summarize the question.

How many of you have developed true friendships here?

[SusanStCatherine]

IMHO, if you can't make friends in The Villages and you want to, examine yourself. Put a smile on your face and be positive. Don't complain about anything. Talk less and listen more.

[Grunt 1946]

If you can find one or two things in common with someone or a group, they become your acquaintances, and you'll have someone to share your common interests with. A real friend takes a lifetime to develop, and most people don't have that much time left in The Villages. Unless your lifelong best buddy moves in as well.

[KRMACK55]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby
I also purchased a home here after unscrupulous marketing. That’s all it was. My neighbors are all married couples and I’m single. Ive not made one friend here other than another person from my home state. She moved and now I’m moving too ! The friendliest home town I’ve never experienced. It was a costly mistake. I regret it everyday and am grateful I sold and am leaving in a few weeks.

[ThirdOfFive]

Well if you had a hard time making friends in your old neighborhood of course you will have a difficult time coming into a new community whether in an established area or new area of The Villages. No one is going to come to you door and say hi do you want to be friends. Unlike in our younger days when we met people through PTA, Scouting, etc. that does not happen here. Go out and play golf, learn to play different games at the rec centers. etc. The friends you make here are different than the ones you made or did not make up north. There are no lines, no one cares how much money you have, what kind of house you live in. What matters is your attitude and you are already being negative about moving here by even posting this question. This is not like shopping for a car but making connections with people. GOod luck.
Our experience was opposite. During our first week in our new home a lady from in the neighborhood stopped by to introduce herself. She was the chairperson of the social club that anyone in this village can belong to. $5 per year per person. There are monthly get-togethers, potlucks, etc. Most of the neighbors on our block stopped by to introduce themselves as well. My wife was invited to join the ladies' golf group which she gladly did.

I had my motorcycle shipped here from Minnesota this past spring and had it parked under a cover in the driveway. Turns out that another guy in our village rides too! He stopped over to chat, and we ended up riding together.

[KRMACK55]

In terms of the Villages, I recall the ad for the Sunday Times newspaper-it was huge.
There line was you do not need to read it all but it is nice to know it is all here.

Different stages of life? This place is a Disneyland for seniors. I regularly laugh. Today is Saturday food shopping day. I recall when I was younger, working my xxxxx off. If, I went to the bank for example, why all the old folks needed to hold me up while they get their interest posted. Now I wonder why these old folks are in such a rush, all bent out of shape are they in a rush to get to THEIR funeral?

Another ad campaign, If you can't be happy here you will not be happy anywhere.
That’s simply not true. I loved my old neighborhood and moved here after life changing circumstances. My neighbors here are very clannish and gossip in the middle of the cul de sac which is sophomoric and I want no part of. Very few people wave and the nicest folks are the ones with dogs. When I began my search to leave here I discovered it’s just that this place is all the same - retired much older - I needed a mix of society where people don’t feel or act entitled. I met folks north of Florida that were friendly nice and of every age. I’m going to rejoin the general population. That includes leaving here.

[KRMACK55]

I believe this is called The Villages and not Stepford.

My point is everyone is different. I expect MOST people that. come here come for the social opportunities, not us.

My wife and I are hermits. We don't do social well if at all. So, we don't have many/any real friends here.

We moved here for several reasons, amenities, the rapid response of EMTs, security, etc. Previously we lived about 15 miles outside of a small town on 11 acres. Our closest neighbor was 1/2 mile away. We had a pond and heavily wooded acreage for our dogs.

We gave up a lot to move here. But, we gained a lot that we feel is important at this point in our lives.

We are just on polite speaking terms with our immediate neighbors, and that is fine for us.
Sadly it is more Stepford than people admit. My experience with healthcare and dental was a nightmare. The choices for shopping eating close by activities are not even close to what is advertised. It’s not worth the extra cost and the too hot temps here. It can become sedentary for those with allergies and prone to bug bites. I’m ready to join civilization again away from here and I’m not the only person who feels this way. I shouldn’t get attacked or finger pointed at either for feeling this way. In many ways compassion and empathy are lacking here.

[KsJayhawkers]

We moved into Chitty Chatty. Although I dont have any other Village to compare to, I can honestly say we made an outstanding choice. We are a small subdivision of approximately 100+ homes but we have a very social neighborhood. Our social committee is very active and inclusion is an important part from pickleball, golf, swimming, walking the dogs, to game playing. It has been very easy for us to make friends in our neighborhood, and although we have only lived in Chitty Chatty for a short five months, we are very eager to return to see our friends again!!!

[Villages Kahuna]

Different results depending on…

—New house in new neighborhood, with lots of other newbies (it’s like being a freshman in college!).

—Buying a pre-owned house in an established neighborhood (new friends and relationships are mostly up to you).

—Full-time or seasonal. As you might guess, the full-timers have more in common and have closer relationships.

—Will you be a club-joiner? You’ll find many clubs which will interest you. Join several. Try out more. Some of my best friends come from club memberships.

—Church almost always provides for friendships with like-minded people.

Regardless of your situation, making new satisfying friendships will be largely up to you,

[jimjamuser]

If you don't make friends where you currently live, then you won't make them here. You are you no matter where you go.

That being said, there are lots of activities in which to make friends here. An introvert could challenge themselves to make friends.
I have been in TV Land for about 11 years. I made MANY acquaintances over that time. Some I liked and enjoyed and some that I could BARELY tolerate. I would call them "situational" acquaintances because I would mostly socialize with them at a particular activity or maybe an activity and also running into them at a swimming pool. But, these were never "FRIENDS" that often invited me to their homes or I invited to mine. One acquaintance moved to TN and another to Mi. and we still keep in touch by email. Of the last 3 ACTUAL friends that I have had - one died 20 years ago - I stopped talking to one 15 years ago - and one I stopped talking to about 5 years ago.

I adopted a policy long ago. When I was 20 years old, I had a 3rd strike and you are out policy - when someone screwed me over for a 3rd time, I stopped socializing with them. Then, from age 20 to 50, I had a 2-and-done policy - after 2 screw-overs, I stopped talking to them. Then, from 50 on I have a one-and-done policy. So, very few get to be friends, and then most do not last long.

Actually, from my activities in TV Land, I have met at least 100 people. Probably 20 or so were so hostile to me and generally obnoxious that if I had not succeeded at avoiding them, they would probably be counted as "enemies". About 30 of them, I would classify as truly 1st rate people - strong in intelligence and personality characteristics. The majority other 50% was potentially interesting, but having some personality flaws that turned me off.

The recent US-wide problems of pandemics, movement rightward toward authoritarianism, and state leadership has further exasperated social alligances and caused, for myself, further alienation.

[La lamy]

I feel TV has been the easiest place to make friends. I play pickleball so it's automatically easy to get to know people there, and even though I'm in an 'established' neighbourhood, I've had no trouble getting to know people and making great friends.

[DaleDivine]

I'm getting ready to go play golf with 2 of my neighbors that are like kin.
We got an invitation yesterday to go to Palmer country club with 2 other couples. One couple were the ones that got us to TV. We've made more friends in the 7 years in our villas than we did in 30 years on our cul de sac in Virginia. My wife is legally blind with Macular Degeneration so we don't socialize as much as we did 5 or 6 years ago. I play a lot of golf (over 1100 rounds last year) and have made many friends from golfing.
Active now in 4 golf groups.
:coolsmiley::coolsmiley:

[Quickdraw]

Making and keeping friends very likely has a as much or more to do with you, and your personality that that of the people you meet. There is an old story about a man who moved into a new home, and he asked one of his new neighbors, "How are the people in this town, are they friendly and easy to get along with, or are they grouchy and a real pain to be around?" The answer he got was, "How were the people in the town you came from, as I believe that you will find the people here just like those where you used to live." Further, all people have holes of defects in their personalities, warts - if you will. You now live in a community were people are, generally speaking, far too old to make major changes in who they are, so, if you want to be friends with someone, you must overlook their warts, and the must overlook yours.

[PugMom]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

how did you make friends where you live now? same thing, imo.

[ThirdOfFive]

Sadly it is more Stepford than people admit. My experience with healthcare and dental was a nightmare. The choices for shopping eating close by activities are not even close to what is advertised. It’s not worth the extra cost and the too hot temps here. It can become sedentary for those with allergies and prone to bug bites. I’m ready to join civilization again away from here and I’m not the only person who feels this way. I shouldn’t get attacked or finger pointed at either for feeling this way. In many ways compassion and empathy are lacking here.
This place is a "village" of 130,000 folks. That means that there are probably 130,001 different ways that people see this place.

For me, moving here was a godsend. No problem with medical services: I found a really good dentist (Dr. Ha) and I do my doctoring at Mayo so other than the drive to Jacksonville that's not a problem. But the real benefit has been to my health. I can honestly say that I haven't felt this good for at least ten years, and that's no exaggeration. I was able to shed 30 lbs. this winter by a combination of sensible eating and walking six miles a day; walking that far during a Minnesota winter, which is where I hail from, is pretty much an impossibility but ultra-doable here. I've been diagnosed with coronary artery disease since 2008 when I had two stents put in. A stress test last year showed two of 17 sectors again blocking. Two months ago I went to Mayo in Rochester for a follow up--and the test came back fine. No indication of any blocking. Arthritis, which was a bear every winter for at least the last ten, is next to nil here.

Social opportunities--everything we could ever want or need in easy golf-cart range--clubs for every interest imaginable--and great health. What's not to like?

[jimjamuser]

I also purchased a home here after unscrupulous marketing. That’s all it was. My neighbors are all married couples and I’m single. Ive not made one friend here other than another person from my home state. She moved and now I’m moving too ! The friendliest home town I’ve never experienced. It was a costly mistake. I regret it everyday and am grateful I sold and am leaving in a few weeks.
That IS a very interesting post - and even more negative than mine. I find it easy to make acquaintances and some are VERY interesting. I am surprised that you did not even get that from TV Land. There are plenty of single people around - even singles clubs. But your experience proves one thing........it is a good idea to RENT in an area before you BUY there.

[jimjamuser]

That’s simply not true. I loved my old neighborhood and moved here after life changing circumstances. My neighbors here are very clannish and gossip in the middle of the cul de sac which is sophomoric and I want no part of. Very few people wave and the nicest folks are the ones with dogs. When I began my search to leave here I discovered it’s just that this place is all the same - retired much older - I needed a mix of society where people don’t feel or act entitled. I met folks north of Florida that were friendly nice and of every age. I’m going to rejoin the general population. That includes leaving here.
Well, good luck! I suggest you rent for a while there to get a TRUE feel for the place.

[jimjamuser]

We got involved in a group of 8 couples, and there was a lot of cattiness amongst the women. Sometimes 4 or 5 of the ladies would get together and talk dirty about the others that were not invited. The men seemed to get along better, but they too had some awkward moments... most likely testosterone related. We whittled it down to just one couple, who we shared the same type of humor with, but going out to dinner or drinks was ALWAYS embarrassing as the wife would complain about something, or had to "change" the recipe of the food on the menu - can you add this... can you substitute that... and, of course, when made to her specifications, she didn't like it. So we opted to dining at each other's house every month... until the 2020 election, and our political ideas did not coincide... and that ended that.
A nice, honest, and raw post. I used to be COMPLETELY tolerant of my acquaintance's political leanings. I felt that political parties were outmoded and a product leftover from a prior century. I felt that electronic voting on ISSUES would be done in the future and help people feel that they had a real stake in a UNITED country. About 2017 I began to feel that groups that I regularly participated in events with were becoming more and more heated as they discussed politics, current events, and news. Moderation and goodwill were gone - I had to pick a side. By 2018 I stopped making any comments, in person-to-person communication about any serious news subjects. By 2020 the big US public health problem had layered more controversy upon other big leadership problems - making almost all conversations among acquaintances practically impossible. Families members were fighting family members. Religious leaders were fighting other religious leaders. TV channels were dueling about who were the more patriotic Americans, and so on. My acquaintances and activities dropped by about 75%. Casual conversations decreased and friends were out of the question. Who knows where this will end up in the future!

[Pat2015]

It has absolutely nothing to do with your neighborhood. It is up to YOU to make friends and relationships no matter where you live and how old you may be. I've met some wonderful friends here and some duds, but YOU have to make the effort.
I think you can make friends in any neighborhood, but it’s more difficult to do that in an older more established neighborhood vs a new one where everyone is new and looking to meet people and form groups. Also, you don’t have to be friends with neighbors as there’s many clubs and activities out there where you can meet lots of people from different neighborhoods and villages. It’s definitely easy to make friends here.

[stadry]

been here about 1 yr which has been spent mostly in hospital & various icu's years, didn't know a soul here. Thankfully mybride is instantly likeable or i'd be sunk,, 1 neighbor's a recluse (ex jarhead & so's his wife- every'hood'sdifferentGood luck!

[majcap]

Bought a CYV in Bonita several months ago. Everyone in our Village has been friendly and supportive, despite the absence of most seasonal residents . Looking forward to coming full time. As all the comments reflect, you have to be receptive to the The Village's lifestyle and stratified age demographics. No secret there!

[DonnaNi4os]

Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.

I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.

My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.

And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.

I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.

Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....

Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.

-Abby

Abby, I came from the north almost four years ago. I have made countless friends since moving here. The community I moved to has an amazing network of people who truly care for each other. If you are a dog person, get one. You would be amazed at how many people I met simply by walking mine. But if dogs aren’t your thing, just go for a walk in your neighborhood. Stop and talk. You won’t make friends if you are housebound, but if you make the effort you will be amazed at the amazing people you will meet. Each one has a story so take an interest and before you know it you will feel like you have been here your whole life.

[JMintzer]

Abby, I came from the north almost four years ago. I have made countless friends since moving here. The community I moved to has an amazing network of people who truly care for each other. If you are a dog person, get one. You would be amazed at how many people I met simply by walking mine. But if dogs aren’t your thing, just go for a walk in your neighborhood. Stop and talk. You won’t make friends if you are housebound, but if you make the effort you will be amazed at the amazing people you will meet. Each one has a story so take an interest and before you know it you will feel like you have been here your whole life.

Yup!

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0322/2146/2664/products/018dogdadcooler-mens_800x_2056528a-9975-4fb2-9537-3b43f762e3c3_300x300.jpg?v=1616146272

[Robnlaura]

The tales of woe are bursting my bubble … 🤣 be social make friends smile participation is probably a great idea .. we hope to make tons of friends when we move.. gonna take out the 20 year old golf clubs and hack our way across the golf course .. drink dance get a weed card.. drink lots of beer have peeps over for drinks after we build the bar .. well we hope anyway

[Seasonal]

I enjoyed reading this thread and the many thoughtful responses. :clap2:

[frose]

most people only have 1 or 2 real friends in their life.. making acquaintances here is just that.. I have noticed that most everyone is friendly, and most just like to complain about something.. I think it's just the age and time of life we are at....just old people trying to get into heaven or wherever you may think we go..lol I have met some very nice people and am looking forward to joining some clubs to expand my interests.

[mainlander]

If you want a friend... you have to be a friend.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

A nice, honest, and raw post. I used to be COMPLETELY tolerant of my acquaintance's political leanings. I felt that political parties were outmoded and a product leftover from a prior century. I felt that electronic voting on ISSUES would be done in the future and help people feel that they had a real stake in a UNITED country. About 2017 I began to feel that groups that I regularly participated in events with were becoming more and more heated as they discussed politics, current events, and news. Moderation and goodwill were gone - I had to pick a side. By 2018 I stopped making any comments, in person-to-person communication about any serious news subjects. By 2020 the big US public health problem had layered more controversy upon other big leadership problems - making almost all conversations among acquaintances practically impossible. Families members were fighting family members. Religious leaders were fighting other religious leaders. TV channels were dueling about who were the more patriotic Americans, and so on. My acquaintances and activities dropped by about 75%. Casual conversations decreased and friends were out of the question. Who knows where this will end up in the future!

There are sane people here who aren't foaming at the mouth over our political choices, as long as no one gets all up in our grill with theirs. We can discuss topics of interest - even politics - among other sane people who don't go on about how this or that one should die or we can't wait to see who their girlfriend will be in jail or other low-rent neanderthalian sentiments EITHER side might have.

In other words - we, the moderates, are here. There are a lot of us. We just don't put up signs on our golf carts telling you who we are. In fact, that's one way to know who we are. We're the ones who don't have signs.