Blonde Jokes

[K9-Lovers]

Longest Password:

During a recent password audit, it was found that a
blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramen to"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.

:jester:

[Taltarzac]

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

[BOMBERO]

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

[BOMBERO]

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
Trigger.

[SoHumble]

A blond and a brunette are walking down the street when the brunette says, Oh yuck, look at the dead bird." The blond looks up in the sky and says, "Where?"

[BlueHeronFan]

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

[Taltarzac]

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

[Mikeod]

Blonde walks into a shoe store looking for a pair of alligator shoes. She likes them, but, when she hears the price, she decides she can't afford them.

Later the shoe salesman is driving home and he sees the blonde at the edge of a retention pond and a pile of dead gators beside her. As he watches, she shoots a gator, pulls it out the water, and tosses it onto the pile, saying "Darn, this one's barefoot, too."

[iandwk]

How about the blond terrorist? She was assigned to blow up a car and burned her lips on the tailpipe.