Calling All Grandparents in TV

[Michael G.]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

[Stu from NYC]

Yes it was and than covid came along and could not travel to see them all. Since our kids are working they have a limited amount of vacation time to come here.

[MrFlorida]

Nope, after raising 3 kids, and putting them all through college, it's ME time.....

[BRN_RI_FL]

We bought here a few years ago with the intention of eventually selling our RI property. However our kids and especially our 8, 6, 3, 1 year old grandkids with another one due in July have changed our plans. Not quite sure when or if we will sell RI now. As long as we can afford it, we have the best of two worlds owning in both FL and RI.

[rustyp]

It's their turn to be Mom and Dad. Some children never reach full potential until the training wheels come off. Maybe someday they will be the one's announcing their careers or circumstances are moving them away. Then what ? Do you follow them. On the other hand you will always miss them. You will find ways to visit each other. Video communications is at your fingertips and will help make it easier.

[Dana1963]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please
That's one of my reasons for escaping this place April thru October. Covid didn't cause too much inconvenience except for 2 weeks of quarantine for their safety or mine

[rustyp]

That's one of my reasons for escaping this place April thru October. Covid didn't cause too much inconvenience except for 2 weeks of quarantine for their safety or mine


I recommend you either keep a seasonal home or rent if returning north for the summer. Do not park yourself in your children's home for a prolonged period of time. Formula for disaster.

[Michael G.]

Also, when the Grandkids grow older, they seem to get their own life with friends.

My neighbor had his grandson come down after school was out for 2 weeks last spring.
After the first day he was bored.

[Dana1963]

I recommend you either keep a seasonal home or rent if returning north for the summer. Do not park yourself in your children's home for a prolonged period of time. Formula for disaster.
I agree 100%

[asianthree]

Paid for medical school, grad school, for kids. Grands are in med and grad school. Spent time with all during 2020-21. All are happy wherever we work, or live.

[Taltarzac725]

Some of our neighbors moved back to where they originally came from to help with their grand kids and/or kids or just be closer to their extended families.

[Professor]

Kids moved away after completing college to start their own lives. Grandchildren were 1,000 miles away from there...and 1,000 miles away from here, so there is no difference. You can't follow your children around the country hoping they will stay put. They move for job opportunities and other reasons. Making your own life and then visiting often works for us...

[tanzicakes]

We are also from RI and keeping both homes for the same reason.

[thevillages2013]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

So you have no kids/grandchildren and you want to know how people that do feel about leaving them? Just trying to understand the reason for the post. Thanks

[JMintzer]

So you have no kids/grandchildren and you want to know how people that do feel about leaving them? Just trying to understand the reason for the post. Thanks

I have 3 daughters in the DC area. No grandkids... Yet...

We raised them, put them thru college (no debt) and they're all doing well on their own. Just as we had hoped for. We did our job.

If and when grandkids show up, we'll deal with it. Being so close to WDW (and my kids are all HUGE fans, having visited well over a dozen times), they'll come and see us (just as one daughter and her fiance´ are doing tomorrow)...

[vonbork]

As is obvious from the posts, it all depends on you. We moved from RI and my wife said she wanted to move but we "lost" the entire first year as she dealt with separation anxiety from being away from her family. We are glad that we are here now, but would I put her through the stress again? I doubt it.

[oemsp1]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

We can from down South. Wasn’t hard to leave at all. Only miss the beach as all our kids moved to Denver.

[kendi]

Nope, not hard at all. Family is important but it’s not healthy at this point in their lives for us to plan our life around them.

[mcwood4d]

We bought 7 years ago...before fully retired and arrival of grandchildren. We have sold our log cabin on a few acres in rural NH and bought a condo for our "summer time" up north. Grand kids are close and visit daily when we're there. We rarely stay a full season in TV without a short visit back north. As others have said, training wheels are off and best of both worlds for us until grands have no time for adults. YMMV

[OhioBuckeye]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

After 8 yrs. we moved where they were. I talked to some people that said they’re young, let them come & visit you here. I guess they were right but we went closer to them for other reasons. We do miss TV!

[maggie1]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

Like some that will post their responses, we have the best of both worlds. We bought here in 2014 but maintained our Ohio home. We were still 100 miles from our son and his family, so seeing the grandkids was a once-a-month (if that) trip. We then sold that home and moved within five miles of the family, to where now we can see the kids as often as we want. We stay five months in Ohio and seven months in Florida. Typical "snowbirds" but with Florida resident credentials.

[KSIMI10799]

Our 3 kids left us, which freed us up to leave NJ 😁
We talk to them each (and their kids) several times a week on FaceTime in person and they all visit us and we visit them (not too much lately). I think it’s fun getting them for chunks of time! We are all really doing great with this plan!
Bonus: we live 4 miles from 86 year old Mom now, which I never did since I was 19.

[KSIMI10799]

Our 3 kids left us, which freed us up to leave NJ 😁
We talk to them each (and their kids) several times a week on FaceTime. We were seeing them in person when they all visit us and we visit them (not too much lately). I think it’s fun getting them for chunks of time! We are all really doing great with this plan!
Bonus: we live 4 miles from 86 year old Mom now, which I never did since I was 19.

[milling73]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

It is incredbly hard, especially if young grandchildren that you saw frequently. I’ve wanted to return as soon as we moved in, but my husband wanted to stay. The compromise - we keep Allegiant in business either me flying back each month, or flying them here. That’s a lot of trips / money back and forth and still missing time with all inbetween.
Think hard about that before you commit.
In a do-over we would have thought harder over what most important and gotten our priorities straight — stayed and come here winter.

[Joper]

I helped raise my grand children for 15 years! They were like my own kids. When it was time to retire we came here (9 yrs ago). I realized my husband needed to live in an active community and he fell in love with The Villages. He had 4 happy years here. Now I’m left alone and when I go back to NY to see the kids and grands, they are very busy in their own lives. As the grands get older, they don’t want to visit as much. No night life here for them!

[COLTempleton]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please
Decided long ago not to follow my kids around. I have a life of my own to live and I am doing just that. But I have a home that they will enjoy staying in whenever they are here, and I will visit them as well.

[mlmarr]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

Absolutly not my family loves coming here

[GregG7]

When you decided to settle in The Villages and leave your sons,
daughters, and grandkids up North was that hard to leave them behind?

I can't imagine how that must feel especially when the grandkids are baby's

Your Thoughts Please

Our granddaughter was born just after we purchased a house in The Villages. Now, since our granddaughter was born, the other half doesn't want to come down to The Villages. Some winters, I come down here by myself and the other half stays at our place up north to be close to our son and granddaughter. Some other winters the other half comes down to The Villages for maybe a month or so, and then goes back up north.

[MX rider]

It is incredbly hard, especially if young grandchildren that you saw frequently. I’ve wanted to return as soon as we moved in, but my husband wanted to stay. The compromise - we keep Allegiant in business either me flying back each month, or flying them here. That’s a lot of trips / money back and forth and still missing time with all inbetween.
Think hard about that before you commit.
In a do-over we would have thought harder over what most important and gotten our priorities straight — stayed and come here winter.

We're dealing with that now. We live in Indiana and just bought a home in TV. Our grandkids are 13, 7 and 5 and we see them often as they live pretty close by. My wife isn't ready to leave them behind. We'll be retired by next November and plan on snowbirding until they get a little older, then we'll sell our house here.
We just don't think having 2 houses is sustainable for us longterm.

I don't want 2 homes to take care of and financially for us it doesn't make sense. We do have family and lots of longtime of friends here. So we're thinking after we sell our house here we can come back for a few months and just rent a place.

[Collierbabe]

Yes. When we moved here in 2014, we had none. Now we have 2 granddaughters 3 & 7. I still have a hard time living far from my 3 boys let alone now having grands. All of us try to get together physically during the year. Thank goodness for FaceTime for communicating! I
was worried about them getting to bond with us…not an issue.
I agree that you never know where your kids lives may change and move to. I told our boys, “what a better place for mom and dad to live than in the vacation capitol of the states”! They enjoy when they come to visit here and all it and Florida has to offer!

[brfree1411@aol.com]

Our grands did not live in the same town. We visit, they visit then facetime is great! We miss them but still get to see them. Definitely worth this lifestyle.

[CoachKandSportsguy]

Kids moved away after completing college to start their own lives. Grandchildren were 1,000 miles away from there...and 1,000 miles away from here, so there is no difference. You can't follow your children around the country hoping they will stay put. They move for job opportunities and other reasons. Making your own life and then visiting often works for us...

Totally agree with this! Some families are very independent, and move away, some families are very close and remain in the same area for a long time, sort of the American settlers types where some settled in pockets from the same homeland, and others struck out and went West or wherever to start independently.

Children under 10 are totally dependent upon parents and family members, so helping out there can work while parents are at work, etc, but then they want to have their own friends as they become more independent. .

Its a balance of age and independence of family, so there is no one answer, other than for separation, there is FaceTime, winter trips to FL and Disney and summer trips to them, which is why I have a truck and a travel trailer for the summer, both visiting them and visiting the other parts of the country, maybe with them, maybe not. .

[Michael G.]

I come from a Wisconsin farming community back in the 60's, and it seem to be the general consensus everyone
stayed living in the same area for years.

If you moved to another state, you broke the family chain and considered an outcast by my in-laws,
then treated us like outlaws.

Heaven forbid if you move to a foreign country.
The old folks would act like they'd never see you again.

Times are changing with family's

[Seasonal]

It's interesting (Not good or bad) how involved many boomers are in their grandchildren's lives. When boomers were young parents, it's unlikely that their parents were as active in their lives.

I think back to my mom, four kids under the age of 10. No help from anyone, not even dad. She is a great mom! :bigbow: (88 years old)

[DonnaNi4os]

Of course it was difficult to leave my kids and grandkids behind, but the plan was for frequent visits from FL to NJ, where 3 of my kids live, and from FL to TX where another was living. Then COVID hit and everything changed. My kids were not happy that I was moving, except for my daughter-in-law, and not for the reason you might think. She said it was the only way she would get my son to FL. Fast forward four years and my TX daughter has moved to Orlando and my son is moving his business to FL and house hunting. My daughter-in-law is thrilled! That brings half of my kids closer to me. I am thankful for FaceTime until I get visits. Before you completely abandon the idea of moving here, remember this…If their job took them out of state you would be there without them. It’s a very mobile society. Hopefully we will be past travel restrictions soon. All of that being said, my 8 grandkids are growing so quickly and I know I have missed out on a lot. Good luck to you.

[shut the front door]

Depends on how much of a "helicopter grandparent" you are. There are a lot more of those now than there were 40 years ago.
Me, I raised my kids. Not going to raise anymore, nor will I jump on a plane every time somebody needs a babysitter. Always told my kids, if you can't raise them, don't have them.

[Dorebea]

Just want thank you for posting this question. It is one my husband and i have been wrestling with for a couple years. Also thanks to everyone who replied. Your insights and experiences are helpful. Our three kids and their families each live in different directions from us. No one place to go. Where to live has been a challenge. You have given us good food for thought!

Hope to see you all when (if) we get there! 😂

[Aces4]

Depends on how much of a "helicopter grandparent" you are. There are a lot more of those now than there were 40 years ago.
Me, I raised my kids. Not going to raise anymore, nor will I jump on a plane every time somebody needs a babysitter. Always told my kids, if you can't raise them, don't have them.


Isn’t it strange how other people’s decisions have to be weighed, judged and demeaned? So… would you be labeled a checked out, disinterested parent?

There is no wrong or right decision in moving away or staying in the vicinity for family. Seasonal FL living was our choice and that has gotten to be even less time in Florida.

There is a different world for our young grandchildren growing up and you cannot leave them with just anyone. Our children seldom ask us to help out, example once in the past two years. We have a large extended family including our children and grandchildren, numerous friends, good times and various interests. Our lives are full and we enjoy life with all generations of people more than just the senior population. Medical care is timely and available.

The Villages is beautiful but it doesn’t tick all the boxes for everyone, some of us need more. There’s nothing wrong with that, what would this world look like if everyone wanted to live in the same spot? The best any of us can do is to choose our individual happiness!

[Freeda]

I agree with what others have said about kids/grandkids moving away, etc; they have their own lives to live. One of our biggest factors in moving to Florida was the climate, and the ability to have a more active, healthy, livestyle, and the healthy factor of frequent sunshine (though we wear hats when outside!!), here as we age. A tradeoff we made is that we feel we increase the chances of living long and healthy lives because of that, so we have that positive thought in our lives, with less stress of worrying about our health. Our kids live in less favorable climates, as we did before moving here, and also, they mostly got a late start with having babies, so some of ours are still toddlers, and some are still unborn; so we'd like to be around for all of them as long as possible. Yes, we sometimes think it would be fun to live where family lives, but our kids live in different places. We visit each other several times a year; and we use facetime and Facebook portal to videochat with them. Further, since our visits with each other are usually only a few days at a time, we do usually stay in each other's homes when we visit, so we have a lot of quality time with the grands and the kids when we're together. After our first year here, this psychologically became home to us, so we get homesick for our lifestyle in TV and for our friends (some are like family to us) here when we are gone. Whenever we leave them at the end of a visit, there is always that 'pang' of separation; but I have learned to remind myself "for every goodbye, there will be another hello"; and we have learned to expect that it will take us about 24 hours after a visit ends to get past that melancholy period; then we are back in the swing of things here, while still keeping in touch with them.

[Tripngirl]

As is obvious from the posts, it all depends on you. We moved from RI and my wife said she wanted to move but we "lost" the entire first year as she dealt with separation anxiety from being away from her family. We are glad that we are here now, but would I put her through the stress again? I doubt it.

Hi there - Saw your posting and said "oh ya, that is so true." My husband and I sold our home in June in MA. and purchased and moved into our courtyard in September....went back to MA. in December for holidays :and that's when it hit us...we really miss all the people and family back there...so we now are in the process of purchasing a home on Cape Cod. We really thought we were going to be permanent year round Villages.....think more like Snowbirds now :) Ya just never know........

[Garywt]

Part of the reason we are not full time. Our daughter and grandson live with us so we will never sell the house while he needs a place to live. Of course any of them can come to Florida to visit. In addition to our northern house we have a camper and boat in NH so we have the summers with them anyway. This year was good as we have had over 6 weeks in Florida so far with at least one more trip down before we close up for the summer.

[Laker14]

For me, (Grandad), visits and FaceTime are pretty adequate. I don't need to be part of their daily lives. It's a trade-off of course. I miss some joy of the nearly daily interaction I'd have if I lived closer, but I'd also be on the hook more often for babysitting and crisis intervention. I'm happy with our distances. We live on a lake in NY State, and get plenty of family time. Being down here is newish, as this is our first full winter here, but it looks as if 3 of the 5 family units will find a way to come visit us here, as well as in the summer on the lake. So I'm very happy, and feel very lucky.
Mrs Grandma, I think, misses the daily interaction more than I do. Taken as a whole, however, I think she'd rather have it the way we have it than be stuck up north all winter, even though she'd be closer to the grandies.

[NotGolfer]

Depends on the family. We came down 12 yrs ago and thought about that question. BUT we have only two grandkids and they were both teens back then. WHEN we lived nearby---we "might" see them for seconds as they passed through on their way to meet friends. If they'd been babies or toddlers or even younger grade-schoolers "maybe" we'd have waited to relocate.
NOW they're young adults---one is married and the other in a "relationship". They are polite around us and will chat but seem like they can't wait to be somewhere else. Our "kids" have circumstances that make it difficult (some medical and some---well I don't have to explain it here) for them to visit us here OR for us to visit them there. We're at the point in LIFE---if they want to see us then they need to make the effort to come this way. We did it til Covid.....so we'll just hunker here.

[Laker14]

I agree with what others have said about kids/grandkids moving away, etc; they have their own lives to live. One of our biggest factors in moving to Florida was the climate, and the ability to have a more active, healthy, livestyle, and the healthy factor of frequent sunshine (though we wear hats when outside!!), here as we age. A tradeoff we made is that we feel we increase the chances of living long and healthy lives because of that, so we have that positive thought in our lives, with less stress of worrying about our health. Our kids live in less favorable climates, as we did before moving here, and also, they mostly got a late start with having babies, so some of ours are still toddlers, and some are still unborn; so we'd like to be around for all of them as long as possible. Yes, we sometimes think it would be fun to live where family lives, but our kids live in different places. We visit each other several times a year; and we use facetime and Facebook portal to videochat with them. Further, since our visits with each other are usually only a few days at a time, we do usually stay in each other's homes when we visit, so we have a lot of quality time with the grands and the kids when we're together. After our first year here, this psychologically became home to us, so we get homesick for our lifestyle in TV and for our friends (some are like family to us) here when we are gone. Whenever we leave them at the end of a visit, there is always that 'pang' of separation; but I have learned to remind myself "for every goodbye, there will be another hello"; and we have learned to expect that it will take us about 24 hours after a visit ends to get past that melancholy period; then we are back in the swing of things here, while still keeping in touch with them.

My experience exactly.

[tophcfa]

Easy for me, not so much for my wife. Must be a woman thing with the kids. And what’s up with having to go to all the kids birthdays, and why can’t they all be born in the same month, instead of each one being born on just about every dam month of the year? The kids make trying to plan extended stays at our Villages home way more difficult than should be necessary: ( It used to be good news when we learned of a new addition to the family. Unfortunately, now I cringe every time I learn a new Villages obstacle is on the way! Why can’t a good visit around the Fourth of July and another around Christmas be enough?

[patfla06]

We first moved down in the late 90’s for a corporate transfer.
Moved only an hour from Tampa when we came here. Only Son lived
In NYC. In 2018 he changed careers & moved to Miami.
Now has 2 daughters ages 5 & 2. Only 4 hours down the
Florida Tpk.