Grandkids discussion

[flower7330@gmail.com]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

[Bogie Shooter]

https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/question-parents-grandparents-living-tv-331523/?highlight=Leave+grandchildren

[charlieo1126@gmail.com]

I would do it if you want to do it , not because you feel guilty . I know a lot of people who split the year , it’s a great benefit to be able to stay connected to your roots. If I was ever forced to make a choice between both places no matter how much I love the villages I would choose Boston . I think many people as much as they love being in Florida would love to go back to there home towns , but the costs of those communities they have left has gotten to high .FYI for me my plan since the day I came to fl over 20 years ago , was to always go home for good at around 85 years old, well I’ll very soon be 84 and I still have the same plan , Florida has been fun , but it’s not Boston

[tophcfa]

Erggggg, you hit on without a doubt the biggest sore spot in my life. As far as I’m concerned, we raised our kids and the years of children responsibilities are behind us. We are now at a point in our lives where our remaining healthy years are numbered and it’s about us doing what we want whenever we friggin please without all the responsibilities we had to deal with before retirement. My wife on the other hand (I guess it’s a woman thing), can’t be away from the kids for any extended period of time, and certainly can’t miss a single friggin birthday or holiday with them. At the rate the kids are getting pumped out in our family there will soon be a dam birthday every month of the year. This dilemma is making it very difficult to plan extended stays together at our Villages home, and it’s getting very expensive and time consuming to frequently travel back and forth. If I had my way, we would sell the place up north and be in the Villages from October through mid June and rent places up north for the remaining time and visit with the kids then. My wife on the other hand would prefer two homes and the ability to fly back and forth several times per year, but be up north for most of the time. IMHO, way too complicated and expensive.

What is it with women and kids and why can’t seeing them a couple timer per year, around Christmas and the Fourth of July, be good enough?

[njbchbum]

Hmmmmm....sorry that your children are not willing to meet you part way and accept your offer to compromise. I can promise you this...when it comes time for the grandchildren to be heavily invested in school activities, friends, sports and everything else that occupies kid's waking hours - they won't be missing you as you miss them! Grands find it easier to 'cut the cord' than do the grandparents! lol

It is not fair of your children to not support your wishes and dreams. My sisters and I always told our parents "you don't have to leave us anything when you die - spend what you have now and enjoy it - you earned it!'. So, too, have you earned the future you want; and your kids have earned their independence because of all you taught them and already did for them.

Bottom line - do what is best for you...all others will adapt!

[rustyp]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

Summertime in the north and winter in the south is not reverse snowbird - it is snowbird. Nothing new about your proposal. The majority of snowbirds are snowbirds for two main reasons:
1 It is too hot for human existence here in FL in the summer months
2 Summer is the season to spend the most time with the grandkids

[justjim]

We have been “Sunbirds” for years and it’s a great life. A “Sunbird” owns property in Florida , is a Florida resident, and goes north for a couple months each year usually in the hot Florida summer. The Grandkids love to visit Florida too! There are several different versions of this but always remember your only a few hours away when you are really needed up north.

[MrFlorida]

You worked all your life, and now it's me time....enjoy what you have left. The grand kids can come and visit.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

It sounds more to me like your kids are upset that their free babysitter is about to quit their volunteer job. Kids aren't off from school for 3-4 months in the summer. They're off for around 2 months in the summer, a week to ten days in the winter, and an extended weekend in the spring.

You can use these times to plan events. You both go up for the late June to late August summer break. They come down to visit YOU for the winter break, and the younger ones can visit you for spring break (while the older ones are likely partying in Delray).

[Two Bills]

Sounds like your kids are upset at losing free babysitting.
Grand kids will love to come down for Disney etc.
These are your years, use them.

[Two Bills]

It sounds more to me like your kids are upset that their free babysitter is about to quit their volunteer job. Kids aren't off from school for 3-4 months in the summer. They're off for around 2 months in the summer, a week to ten days in the winter, and an extended weekend in the spring.

You can use these times to plan events. You both go up for the late June to late August summer break. They come down to visit YOU for the winter break, and the younger ones can visit you for spring break (while the older ones are likely partying in Delray).

You beat me to it.
I've got to learn to type faster!

[coralway]

The Villages is a nice place to visit for a few months at a time, but it’s not home.

[flower7330@gmail.com]

Summertime in the north and winter in the south is not reverse snowbird - it is snowbird. Nothing new about your proposal. The majority of snowbirds are snowbirds for two main reasons:
1 It is too hot for human existence here in FL in the summer months
2 Summer is the season to spend the most time with the grandkids

The reason I say reverse is because we normally would be leaving the north and heading south in winter instead of north in the summer.

[ThirdOfFive]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you
I suppose every situation is different, and I did admit that I WAS concerned about it when we first moved, but it turned out to be a needless worry. We do not see the kids and grandkids as often as we might like, but the quality of the time we do spend with them is far better. Most of our grandkids are older (only two out of seven still in high school, but we see a lot of each other. For example a grandson (stationed at Englin AFB in the panhandle, part of an Army special-forces group) will be arriving this afternoon to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with us, and my oldest granddaughter is coming down for twelve days during the beginning of December. And of the part with kids still in school--they've made it down en masse the past two winters to spend about a week with us each time. Florida in February is far more attractive than that tundra country called Minnesota.

It works the other way too. It is only about three hours from Orlando to Minneapolis non-stop and Sun Country has very reasonable fares. I flew to Minneapolis this past August to visit the kids/grandkids and it cost me less than $200 round trip.

All in all, we're as close as we ever were (maybe even closer) even though the contact is somewhat less.

[Keefelane66]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you
That is a personal choice why care what others think or do, either you are a leader or a follower?

[asianthree]

Grandkids are the second reason village residents move out of TV. First is death.

I couldn't imagine any of our kids telling us what to do, of course they don't depend on us for financial support, or watching their kids or animals. They are however buying our north home, as investment, we will be renting from them during summer's

[Papa_lecki]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

My wife and I are in our late 50s. Primary home in PA, 2nd home in TV.
All4 of our parents we VERY involved wtih our kids, as they were growing up.
When we first visited the Villages, we BOTH said our parents should have bought there and spent time there - the grandparents would be in much better shape emotionally, physically, etc, if they spent winters more active.
When we are in FLA in Jan, we see couples the same age as our parents, out all day, being active, and our parents are at home, in the cold on their iPad.

Personally, your compromise snowbirding, being in PA from April to Christmas will allow you to enjoy many more years with your grandkids.

[fdpaq0580]

The Villages is a nice place to visit for a few months at a time, but it’s not home.

It is home for us. We love it year-round. Frogs! HTWC!
🐸🐸

[patfla06]

I guess it depends on many factors. How old are your Grands? How often
do you see your kids & grands now?

If your wife is unsure I would do what you’re doing and consider your move
carefully.

Definitely don’t let your kids dissuade you.
Actually think your split time idea a really good one.

Good luck with your decision.

P.S. If your wife is going to be unhappy I wouldn’t do it.

[ScottGo]

To Papa_L. I have not laughed so much, so hard, on a post! Wife says you're a poopy head, but I tend to agree with you.

[Inexes@aol.com]

Had very dear friends/neighbors in TV about 10 years ago. The wife decided she just had to be back in Michigan with the daughters and grandkids. So, they sold the home in TV and moved back. First surprise was that older daughter had divorced and never told them and the other daughter was involved with work and kids and not around much. They stayed in Michigan for a while but finally decided to leave there as they weren't seeing much of the family. They bounced around the country, looking for a place to re-settle. Ultimately ended up with summer home in Myrtle Beach (both are avid golfers) and winter home in Country Club MHP in Wildwood/Leesburg area. Very unhappy with Myrtle Beach, have not been able to make close golfing buddies there, big golfing tourist area but not so much for full-time residents. They had several groups they golfed with here in TV. I have heard nothing but how unhappy they have been that they left TV, the last time was a week ago. So 10 years of lamenting that move. Be careful what you wish for.... What's that old saying???? You can't go home again???

[Garywt]

It can be tough. Our plan is to spend the summer in our camper and the winters in The Villages. For my wife to retire at 57 years old we need to sell our house in Massachusetts but we can’t. Our daughter and now 7 year old grandson lives with us. They have been with us since he was born and I refuse to put them on the street. Because of this we only get to our house 5-6 weeks a year. Our ultimate plan would to be in Florida from Oct 15 to May 15. Hopefully someday.

[Bilyclub]

The Villages is a nice place to visit for a few months at a time, but it’s not home.


You are in the minority.

[JSR22]

You are in the minority.

I agree with you. Live here full time and very happy!

[Ubieland]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

If you build it or buy it, they will come. The big mouse is not far away! :)

[MX rider]

Hmmmmm....sorry that your children are not willing to meet you part way and accept your offer to compromise. I can promise you this...when it comes time for the grandchildren to be heavily invested in school activities, friends, sports and everything else that occupies kid's waking hours - they won't be missing you as you miss them! Grands find it easier to 'cut the cord' than do the grandparents! lol

It is not fair of your children to not support your wishes and dreams. My sisters and I always told our parents "you don't have to leave us anything when you die - spend what you have now and enjoy it - you earned it!'. So, too, have you earned the future you want; and your kids have earned their independence because of all you taught them and already did for them.

Bottom line - do what is best for you...all others will adapt!

Very well said. At first my wife was a bit reluctant to leave the g kids for very long. But after our lifestyle visit in January she had a new perspective. We're both very fit and active, and we love to be outdoors. Something we can't do here in Indiana in the winter. So it didn't take us long to figure out this was the place for us.

We just bought a home in TV last January and love it there. We both retire in Sept. We plan on snowbirding for 4 years or so (Late Oct to April) unitl the grands get older.

As you said, about the time they hit 12 or so they get very busy with other stuff, and less involved with the grandparents. Eventually we see ourselves there full time.

We'll go back for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then maybe do an Airbnb for a month or so during the summer.

As some have said here, we consider this our time. And we plan on enjoying every minute.

All that said, there's really no right or wrong way. Everyone has different priorities in life, you just have to balance them.

[Smalley]

Your planned comprimise to spend 3-4 months in PA and the rest of the year here in TV is completely fair and reasonable. The younger generation should be a bit more selfless and think of your happiness during your retirement years. Plus, as others have said, they're going to enjoy their visits here and ultimately see your point of view. This assumes that both you and your wife are in agreement with the snowbirding plan. To have a happy marriage, any big decision takes two yesses or one no. This means husband and wife......NOT any other generation.

[keepsake]

How about snow birding ...

Live in Florida in summer, when it gets to 60 degrees in winter, hop on a cruise ship and go south !!

[Taltarzac725]

My parents moved from Sonoma County, CA to be near their grandkids whose father had moved to the Tampa Bay area for work.

That marriage broke up ten or so years later and those grandkids ended up in Sonoma County and Las Vegas, NV.


And my younger brother married again into a family with people all over including Jamaica, NYC, and Orlando.

The grandkids do visit from time-to-time but college and work take them many places.

[Nucky]

How self centered could adult children be? Denying you the opportunity to live a dream life. We had two out of three kids support us and one that didn’t. He came around but it took several years.

I got him in a private conversation and let him know how happy his mom is and that his approval was not necessary for us to move. Things are just fine now. The supportive sons worked him over in my behalf.

Our promotion from King and Queen babysitters was fantastic. It’s better being a grandparent without the daily grind of raising kids again.

I drop anything I have going on and get grandma to the little ones when she need a fix.

Your answer has to come from both of you. You have to be on the same page. It had its rough spots but it worked out fine. Good Luck.

[PersonOfInterest]

Summertime in the north and winter in the south is not reverse snowbird - it is snowbird. Nothing new about your proposal. The majority of snowbirds are snowbirds for two main reasons:
1 It is too hot for human existence here in FL in the summer months
2 Summer is the season to spend the most time with the grandkids

Those non-humans who live here through the summer months are actually from Mars where our normal temperature is 950 degrees. We find it quite chilly here in the Summer months and enjoy it very much. We do find the Humans that start to migrate in after summer a little annoying though.

[PersonOfInterest]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

I would suggest you stay where you are and let your children control your life while you enjoy your grandchildren who will frustrate you as they migrate to their friends and their own lives where they will have little time for their grandparents.

[bowlingal]

They are losing their built-in babysitter. that's why they don't want you to move. In a few years, the grands won't want anything to do with you.

[La lamy]

Tough situation, I feel for you. I haven't had to deal with this, but I hope you and your wife find a healthy balance without being influenced by guilt from the kids who selfishly may need free babysitters. FaceTime is a beautiful tool, hopefully your wife can visit birthday events that way!

[SandyPd56]

I would do it if you want to do it , not because you feel guilty . I know a lot of people who split the year , it’s a great benefit to be able to stay connected to your roots. If I was ever forced to make a choice between both places no matter how much I love the villages I would choose Boston . I think many people as much as they love being in Florida would love to go back to there home towns , but the costs of those communities they have left has gotten to high .FYI for me my plan since the day I came to fl over 20 years ago , was to always go home for good at around 85 years old, well I’ll very soon be 84 and I still have the same plan , Florida has been fun , but it’s not Boston

I lived within 50 miles of Boston my whole life. I raised my children in NH. 7 years ago after being divorced, I met someone from Florida and eventually moved down here. I was very close to my children but they were older with their own lives. I had a 1 year old grandson and it was very hard for me to move and leave them in NH. I'm fortunate enough to be able to travel back to NH about six times a year. We travel to NH and stay with my daughter for a few weeks in the summer. I also face time with her and now two grandchildren almost every weekend. I still miss them like crazy but they have jobs and their kids are involved in sports, so the time we would be able to be with them would be limited. I worked my whole life to get to this point and to retire and travel. I raised my kids to be hard workers and to be independent and they are wonderful humans. It takes a while to get used to being apart but it gets easier.

[Kathy B.]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

This is a tough one. We’re lucky; my parents bought here in TV over 30 years ago, so the kids have been visiting since they were toddlers, and they love it here. When we bought our house and I expressed my concerns to my eldest son, he said, “Mom, we’re closer to grandma & grandpa who go to FL than we are to our grandparents who are here all year.” It told me it really is quality over quantity. Here are some things we do to help:
*We go back to MN in the summers and “overdose” on grandkids’ activities.
*We usually go back for about 10 days before Christmas. We love the early Christmas because they don’t have to leave for another gathering & the grandkids have their “first” Christmas with us. Plus the travel is cheaper. I even have the house decorated & the tree up before we leave in the fall.
*We give them the option of receiving either Christmas gifts or a flight here during their spring break. They’ve chosen the flight every year so far. It is SO fun to have them here and we get them 24/7.
It has worked for us for the last 9 years and we feel like the luckiest people on the planet. That being said, it’s not for everyone. Best of luck to you.

[msilagy]

Your wife has love in her heart and loves her kids/grandkids. I find that commendable.

[raney3099]

We have the 4 youngest grands for 4-6 weeks every summer. They love coming down here something to look forward too. With FaceTime and couple short visits throughout the year, it works. As they get older with friends, school activities etc. they develop their own life, as should you.

[flower7330@gmail.com]

Thank you all for your comments. We have a lot to think about.

[airstreamingypsy]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

Spending the summer up north is not reverse snowbirding, it is the definition of snowbirding.

[westernrider75]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

I would snowbird if I could financially, but I cannot. That being said, if grandkids are old enough to fly by themselves that is an option. If not they will be someday. We only have so many years to enjoy our retirement, if needed I can fly home and spend some time!

[GmaLisaG]

Everyone is different.. you have to go with your heart. I know that the grandkids grow up and are less interested in their grandparents. I saw this with my own kids and our parents. So now, we live for us and see them when we can. My sister isn't like me. She has to live within basically walking distance from hers. My brother-in-law is miserable with this. He wants to live here more than anywhere. Makes me sad. We only have this life. Do what makes you happy. ❤️

[toeser]

"The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive."

That's a really poor attitude on their part and I would ignore it. Sounds like they like the free services provided by their parents.

[NavyBoy]

my wife and i have considering moving to tv. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from tv.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in pa and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in pa in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

every heard of divorce?

[frose]

stay put, you will regret the move.. blood is too thick to be ignored, been there done that. now back in nc.

[DonnaNi4os]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

My family is half in FL and half in NJ where I’m spending Thanksgiving. It isn’t easy to miss out on the grandkids but I come up twice a year and my NJ kids visit during the year. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss them. Good luck to you.

[NotGolfer]

We came down 13 or so years ago. Our kids weren't happy with our decision though our grandkids were nearly grown etc. NOW they're young adults and have wives or significant others. The "kids" have their lives and are busy. We've made the trip back a few times but have to work around everyone else's schedules. Our kids don't live close to one another neither so that throws things off a bit as well. Logistics becomes an issue. Once the grandkids are grown---us "old folks" don't seem to figure into their social lives so we'd see them briefly anyway. I suspect that if our grands had been tiny when this opportunity came up, it would have been shelved for a time. My comment to my spouse in the early our decision making...."those kids would move if given an opportunity with our worrying about us." So we forged ahead and haven't looked back.

[Txcottage]

We are sunbirds. It’s a fabulous location for our kids/grandkids to visit during summer with all the theme parks/ beaches. But 2 of our 4 children with their families live close to us, and we have a lovely home here so I just don’t want to leave full time. Each person needs to weigh their pros and cons— if you move to The Villages full time, perhaps visit the grandkids every 3 months.

[Ltwise3500]

You worked all your life, and now it's me time....enjoy what you have left. The grand kids can come and visit.
They are living their lives the way they want…you need to do the same. They will come and visit. Enjoy! Life is short.

[cfhelz45]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

We spent the summer in Illinois & Wisconsin. I think I see my kids and grandkids more then if I lived there full time. Go for it, they will forgive you in the long run.

[kendi]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

There is a balance between taking care of yourself and being with family. This will look different for each of us. We go back a forth. It’s tough leaving TV and tough leaving family up North. But I love returning to both as well. Grandkids will likely love coming down to visit you. Especially in the summer when the amazing camps are in session. Family may be surprised of the benefits of you being down here.

Another way to look at it, one day you will be gone forever. You being gone now for part of the year can be a way for them to begin to adjust to being okay without you around.

[Rodneysblue]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

You need to do you.

[maistocars]

Do it for you - you're not getting any younger, but living in TV will, IMO, help extend your years and health. It sounds as if the kids are being a little selfish and if they thought about it, TV is a great place to visit during Christmas and Spring break. Being away from TV gets boring real quick live life to the fullest while enjoying the grandkids in TV and on visits up North.

[The Left Mitten]

This has been a discussion among all of us retirees! My husband and I are blessed with the best of BOTH worlds......and have the ongoing support of our children and grandchildren. We are Florida residents and spend nine fun months here, and three summer months in a small condo in Michigan. By the time August arrives, we can't WAIT to return to TV! And the best thing is, we fly back for five days at Christmas.....and our children and grandchildren return WITH us to TV on Christmas Day to spend a week. They LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it here! Our grandchildren range from 14 years old to 8 years old. Our children have made moving to TV their goal when they retire. LOL! I would highly recommend the move, and enjoy your years with your spouse. You've earned it!

[Rodneysblue]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

You need to do you.

[Gettingoutofdodge]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you

I will be in TV a year this month.
My grandchildren are grown and 5 of the 8 are in college. I have a 6 mo great granddaughter who I have only seen once. My children have been here 3x. My Grandchildren have visited also. I’m flying back for Christmas. Unless you can afford to fly back often and deal with the hours in the airport, do the reverse snowbird or wait until the grands grow up.

[jimjamuser]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you
You need to resolve that BEFORE you come here and buy a house. That very dilemma can wind a loving couple up in a divorce court situation. I know a man that lives ALONE in his house here for about 10 years and his wife has only been down here a few times during that period. to visit. Some couples believe that their children and grandchildren will visit them often if they buy a house here. But, the parents work or are otherwise too busy to visit, and as the children mature they don't want to leave their friends up north. So, don't count on being visited often here in Florida. Also, the summers are hot and getting hotter, so the parents will be uncomfortably hot here when they go outside.

That was good that you rented here for a month and it was close to the summer. I would suggest another rental for a month, maybe in August, the hottest month. At first, The Villages seems very impressive with a lot of things to do. Then gradually, the golly-gee-whiz aspects wear off. You get older and slow down and stop going to some of the clubs and activities. Just understand that moving here is a high-risk, high-reward situation. Make sure that both parties are FULLY embracing the move and plan and prepare well for it.

[Worldseries27]

erggggg, you hit on without a doubt the biggest sore spot in my life. As far as i’m concerned, we raised our kids and the years of children responsibilities are behind us. We are now at a point in our lives where our remaining healthy years are numbered and it’s about us doing what we want whenever we friggin please without all the responsibilities we had to deal with before retirement. My wife on the other hand (i guess it’s a woman thing), can’t be away from the kids for any extended period of time, and certainly can’t miss a single friggin birthday or holiday with them. At the rate the kids are getting pumped out in our family there will soon be a dam birthday every month of the year. This dilemma is making it very difficult to plan extended stays together at our villages home, and it’s getting very expensive and time consuming to frequently travel back and forth. If i had my way, we would sell the place up north and be in the villages from october through mid june and rent places up north for the remaining time and visit with the kids then. My wife on the other hand would prefer two homes and the ability to fly back and forth several times per year, but be up north for most of the time. Imho, way too complicated and expensive.

What is it with women and kids and why can’t seeing them a couple timer per year, around christmas and the fourth of july, be good enough?
lessons from the universe
#1. Hi gp/gm becomes bye gp/gm when gc's friends become the center of their universe
#2. Happy wife, happy life
lollipop anyone?

[rustyp]

Those non-humans who live here through the summer months are actually from Mars where our normal temperature is 950 degrees. We find it quite chilly here in the Summer months and enjoy it very much. We do find the Humans that start to migrate in after summer a little annoying though.

Interesting - both non human and illegal aliens. You better be over 55. Do you return to Mars after summer. That is a "reverse snowbird".

[Villages Kahuna]

If you have this discussion with your realtor or Villages residents, they probably tell your that the very small percentage—only 2-3%—of home buyers here, sell and move back home. And the VAST majority cite the reason being “grandma couldn’t bear to be away from the grandchildren” (that’s grandma, not grandpa). The issue with your parents further complicates the issue.

It sounds like maybe you’re not quite ready for The Villages. More time up north will make your decision easier.

[jparsoneau@aol.com]

I’m sorry your kids don’t support your retirement. Maybe they feel you’re not capable of taking care of yourself anymore or maybe they feel they want your free babysitting don’t know. But I think it sounds like a great plan. But as far as the grandkids go that’s why we’re not here full-time either as well as I would suspect quite a few who are waiting a little bit longer to be full timers. Anyways, your choice your decision.

[mgkw1]

I came to Florida after 110 inches of snow in Boston. If I miss it I can be there in 4 hrs. My kids visit, friends visit. we did not snowbird because why worry about one place while in the other

[rustyp]

I came to Florida after 110 inches of snow in Boston. If I miss it I can be there in 4 hrs. My kids visit, friends visit. we did not snowbird because why worry about one place while in the other

If you can afford it you don't worry. That's what insurance is for.

[Boilerman]

To the OP, do what meets your needs not your kids. We’ve been sunbirds for several years, spending the summers up north to visit family and escape the heat. I’d guess that eventually we’ll get tired of the back and forth and stay in TV year round but until then it works for us.

[ndf888]

Please tell your wise that moving to TV may will increase her husband’s happiness, health, and longevity. She will get to spend more time doing fun things with you. Hope she can find meaning in that.

[tophcfa]

New grandkid in theory - When one learns that a new addition to the family is on the way, they get overwhelmed with goose bumps and excitement.

New grandkid in reality - When one learns that a new addition to the family is on the way, they think “Oh No”, not another reason for the wife to find why we can’t spend more time at our Villages home. Fingers crossed that the kid is born on the same day as one of the kids that already keeps us from being at our Villages home.

[august2959]

My wife and I have considering moving to TV. We have visited all the squares and we rented a house on the south side for a month a few weeks ago. We love all the activity and energy from TV.
The one sticky point is the grand kids. They are in PA and my wife is having a huge problem trying to justify the move and missing the grand kids.
We have proposed doing a reverse snow bird where we would spend 3 or 4 months in PA in the summer time while the kids are off from school. The parents were not thrilled with us moving away and have not been very supportive.
Would love to hear some opinions on this subject.
Thank you
For Christmas two years ago, we purchased an Echo Show from Amazon for each family and ourselves. It is almost the size of an 8x10 photograph. It sits on a small table beside our eating table. With this we can see and talk with any of our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. If I feel the need to talk and see them, I call. We are able to be there while they are opening gifts for holidays and sometimes we eat dinner with them as they sit on our table. I found it helps me not to get homesick and it is fun. Our children encouraged us to purchase here because they know we are so much more active in The Villages and they don't have to worry about us. Good Luck with your decision.

[Nana2Teddy]

It is home for us. We love it year-round. Frogs! HTWC!
🐸🐸
Same here! There was no way we could keep our CA home and buy here too. We chose to move here this year leaving all 3 adult children and one year old grandbaby behind in Calif. We’ve been here two weeks, and Thanksgiving was our first holiday without them. It was definitely bittersweet, but we are pushing 70 and had no more time to waste sitting at home in our empty nest with mostly nothing to do. Our kids were shocked, but supportive, though we only saw them 2-3x a year even when we lived close to them. They were all very busy with careers, and grandbaby lived 4 hours from us. Hopefully we’ll be happy here because it’s definitely full time for us.
We FaceTimed with them on Thanksgiving, and honestly if we were still there I would’ve been the one cooking all day, something I don’t enjoy anymore. It was nice seeing daughter-in-law hosting and cooking, and everyone helping her. They’ll definitely come visit us as they’re able, and we will do the same.
Next year we’ll figure out how to all get together sometime between TG and Christmas, but this year having just arrived after driving across country for 8 days we won’t be flying back there for Christmas. We’ll all survive. ;)

[Barborv]

We are in the process of moving down permanently within the next few weeks. I have had the grandchildren dilemma for the last 8 years! My son has been stationed in ND for the past 11 years, met a local girl and got married. We go to visit a few times a year and they come to us in NY. This past summer they came down to the villages, plus my 2 other kids, and they all went to the parks together. I did camp villages with the grandkids, we did the air boat thing, etc. They loved going to the squares at night and dancing. They had such a good time. We do the facetime/ meet groups with the kids. One of my daughters bought a house and I have a room there for when we visit them in NY. There's no reason to stay here in NY. Can't wait to leave the high taxes in Long Island!

[oldtimes]

You worked all your life, and now it's me time....enjoy what you have left. The grand kids can come and visit.

I could not live anywhere but here. I go back to visit but can’t wait to get back. They also enjoy coming here to visit and are happy that they do not need to worry about us down here.

[Nana2Teddy]

For Christmas two years ago, we purchased an Echo Show from Amazon for each family and ourselves. It is almost the size of an 8x10 photograph. It sits on a small table beside our eating table. With this we can see and talk with any of our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. If I feel the need to talk and see them, I call. We are able to be there while they are opening gifts for holidays and sometimes we eat dinner with them as they sit on our table. I found it helps me not to get homesick and it is fun. Our children encouraged us to purchase here because they know we are so much more active in The Villages and they don't have to worry about us. Good Luck with your decision.
This can also be done on an iPad using FaceTime. That’s how we “spent” Thanksgiving this year with our kids and toddler grandson who are all in California.

[Nana2Teddy]

[QUOTE=Kathy B.;2160375]This is a tough one. We’re lucky; my parents bought here in TV over 30 years ago, so the kids have been visiting since they were toddlers, and they love it here. When we bought our house and I expressed my concerns to my eldest son, he said, “Mom, we’re closer to grandma & grandpa who go to FL than we are to our grandparents who are here all year.” It told me it really is quality over quantity. Here are some things we do to help:
*We go back to MN in the summers and “overdose” on grandkids’ activities.
*We usually go back for about 10 days before Christmas. We love the early Christmas because they don’t have to leave for another gathering & the grandkids have their “first” Christmas with us. Plus the travel is cheaper. I even have the house decorated & the tree up before we leave in the fall.
*We give them the option of receiving either Christmas gifts or a flight here during their spring break. They’ve chosen the flight every year so far. It is SO fun to have them here and we get them 24/7.
It has worked for us for the last 9 years and we feel like the luckiest people on the planet. That being said, it’s not for everyone. Best of luck to you.[/QUOTE

For us it’s California where all of our kids and toddler grandson are, but doing Christmas with them early every December in Calif is such a great idea because 2 of our 3 kids were always juggling Christmas with their spouses’ families and us on Christmas, so they’d all be happy to have Christmas with us early. Thanks for the great idea! We’re new here, and spending our first Christmas ever without the kids since we’re closing escrow on our home on 12/15, so we have to stay here. Now though we’ll feel better knowing there’s a plan for future Christmases. And thankfully there’s also FaceTime. :)

[rjn5656]

Depend on ages of grandkids. Young, good idea. I missed some fun stuff with them. Teenagers - not as good a idea. They will be too busy for you.

[B-flat]

I would do it if you want to do it , not because you feel guilty . I know a lot of people who split the year , it’s a great benefit to be able to stay connected to your roots. If I was ever forced to make a choice between both places no matter how much I love the villages I would choose Boston . I think many people as much as they love being in Florida would love to go back to there home towns , but the costs of those communities they have left has gotten to high .FYI for me my plan since the day I came to fl over 20 years ago , was to always go home for good at around 85 years old, well I’ll very soon be 84 and I still have the same plan , Florida has been fun , but it’s not Boston

Exactly my sentiments. I'm just up the road from you in RI and the plan is to head back at some point in our lives. In the meantime we enjoy the time we are here, then the time we are up north in the summer.

You are in the minority.

You can add me as being in the minority and I don't mind it at all. From Ricky Nelson's lyrics "You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself."