Friends Support (Or Don’t) Move To The Villages

[Michael 61]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

[mrf0151]

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.

[Michael 61]

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.

I do believe jealousy is at the root, as you stated - I was fortunate to have retired young (friends are all still working) - and I know many of them would like to make the move away from Colorado (getting crowded on the front range, and as you said the political changes, that we will not get into) - maybe their resistance shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. They see the excitement and enthusiasm I have for TV, maybe I am too much of a “cheerleader”, and the fact they still are unable to retire, as much as they would like to, and move someplace warm to move to depresses them.

[Kenswing]

Would real friends try to make you feel guilty? Real friends should be happy for you. Find better friends.

[Bogie Shooter]

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.
What does FREE FL mean?

[Velvet]

My first thought was “Free Florida” is FREE from SNOW but then that’s just me.

[rustyp]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Good friends are like John Mac Arthur churches - hard to find. You should stay where they are.

[Michael G.]

Any move from your home state is hard regardless of what your friends/neighbors think or feel.

Just follow your gut feeling and make the move, besides, there's new friends to be made in TV.

The only thing that I miss moving here from Wisconsin is the cool fall weather, dairy farms, corn fields, and pine forest.

[EdFNJ]

Why should you care what your friends think (maybe they're just jealous)? If you can't do what you like and rely on friends making you feel guilty there are more issues involved. Maybe getting some "professional help" would be best to overcome your feelings. Maybe feeling guilty leaving grandkids or other family makes a little sense but "friends" not supporting your life change shows what kind of "friends" they are. They should be cheering for you not sending you on a guilt trip. Shame on THEM.

[Aces4]

Why should you care what your friends think (maybe they're just jealous)? If you can't do what you like and rely on friends making you feel guilty there are more issues involved. Maybe getting some "professional help" would be best to overcome your feelings. Maybe feeling guilty leaving grandkids or other family makes a little sense but "friends" not supporting your life change shows what kind of "friends" they are. They should be cheering for you not sending you on a guilt trip. Shame on THEM.


I’d save the shame bit, people are entitled to their emotions when a good friend moves away. Losing a good friend to a distant move is like dealing with a death. You may cross paths again when visiting and FaceTime but the whole dynamic of the friendship has changed, there’s no more hanging out with together, socializing at functions…. it’s over.

I’d let your friends grieve and not blame it on jealously. You’re moving to Florida, not some exotic location.

[Aces4]

Any move from your home state is hard regardless of what your friends/neighbors think or feel.

Just follow your gut feeling and make the move, besides, there's new friends to be made in TV.

The only thing that I miss moving here from Wisconsin is the cool fall weather, dairy farms, corn fields, and pine forest.


That’s a lot to miss.:cryin2:

[Oldragbagger]

We faced some of the same, not only from a couple of longtime best friends, but also from one of our kids. It was really surprising from the kids because they hadn’t lived near us for nearly 10 years but they assumed we would move to where they were when we retired. They didn’t take it well when we told them we had other plans.
Have honest conversations with them. Maybe tell them directly that you are surprised by their reactions and ask why they aren’t being supportive. Sometimes people don’t even understand why they are reacting a certain way until forced to confront it and think about their feelings. If their reasons are rooted in the fact that they will be missing you and can’t imagine not being able to see you, accept that as love and have discussions about how the friendship will continue. If it’s about jealousy then that’s their problem. You can’t control how other people feel.
If they are REAL friends they will come around in time, especially once they see that you are happy.

[tophcfa]

We have three types of friends, the ones that are jealous, the ones that also got a place in Florida, and the ones that got a place in Arizona. If someone doesn’t support our decision to have a home in the Villages, then they aren’t real friends. The biggest problem is the jealous friends always want to come to the Villages to visit and golf and sometimes the requests can be a little overwhelming.

[Arctic Fox]

It's always easier for the person going than the person staying

You are off on a new adventure, and likely to make lots of new friends, while they are stuck doing "same old, same old" and have lost a "local" friend

They are feeling down. Best to forgive (and forget) their negativity and keep them as friends.

[manaboutown]

They will miss you and they are hurting about that I imagine.

Just remember you can make new friends but you can't make new old friends. Sad but true...

[LuvNH]

When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

[Mortal1]

[QUOTE=Michael 61;2161076]I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I thought I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.[/QUOTE

you make friends and you lose them. the good ones you never lose. I've lived the world over. don't sweat your insecurities and embrace the challenge. it's either that or move to California, Oregon or Washington. :-)

[JoMar]

Do I understand that you are feeling guilty because you may change your plans because other people are making life decisions for you....really? If your friendship is so important to them then why aren't they moving with you? When we came here out kids weren't happy, but too bad for them...it's our life and we live it as we choose. The kids got over it and so will your friends, especially if you are as important to them as you think you are.

[manaboutown]

When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

I heard Florida referred to as God's Waiting Room and people on cruises as the newly wed, nearly dead and overfed which on several cruises I have taken proved to be true.

[kkingston57]

When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

Correct about the newly dead. Bet that the newly weds is now much lower, especially in TV.

[bsloan1960]

Guilt is a subtle but (sometimes) weapon used by people to hurt or control others.

Go through a checklist; will leaving harm anyone- or just leave them lonely for your companionship? Are there responsibilities that will shift from you to others when you leave, leaving them with a burden that should be yours- in other words do others have to unfairly pick up work or duties that are clearly yours? Are you leaving something important undone that was up to you to bring to a conclusion?

Ask yourself if you have done anything to hurt these people- other than wishing to relocate. As long as you are harming no one you have nothing to feel guilty about. Millions of people relocate every year. One of our friends cried when we told her we were moving, but she understands it is OUR Life and OUR Future OUR Decision.

You can't be made to feel guilty without your consent. If someone tries to send you on a Guilt Trip don't pack your bag for them

[Michael 61]

Good friends are like John Mac Arthur churches - hard to find. You should stay where they are.

Hi Brother - thanks for referencing an older post of mine - since that post I have done extensive homework on the churches in the area, and visited and found an excellent church in Winter Garden that I look forward to attending. Would not have purchased a home in TV without having a potential church home already picked out.

[asianthree]

Five very close couples, 2 were so happy we had choose a active lifestyle, community, they each came on lifestyle visit and bought their own home.
Third couple who still live in our old neighborhood, choose to break ties, with all couples.

Last couple very angry we had all abandoned them, angry words, and bad feelings all around. So it’s almost December they are now sitting in 22° weather with snow.

All of a sudden the 3 couples in TV, that they threw away have now become very important to them. So on a weekly basis they text or email, missing everyone, wanting to come and stay for a month or so.

Not happening in our household, maybe they’ll have more luck with the other two couples.

[rustyp]

Hi Brother - thanks for referencing an older post of mine - since that post I have done extensive homework on the churches in the area, and visited and found an excellent church in Winter Garden that I look forward to attending. Would not have purchased a home in TV without having a potential church home already picked out.

You do realize from Brownwood to Winter Garden is 40 miles one way. Dec - March traffic is not like Colorado - well maybe like Denver when the Broncos play a home game.

[manaboutown]

Correct about the newly dead. Bet that the newly weds is now much lower, especially in TV.

No newly dead in TV either as there is no cemetery here.

[asianthree]

No newly dead in TV either as there is no cemetery here.

Actually there is a very old cemetery in TV, or TV had to build around, it’s off Cherry Lake Road CR100, one can see it from Stillwater trail . Few years ago a society was looking for volunteers, to uncover grave sites.

[Michael 61]

You do realize from Brownwood to Winter Garden is 40 miles one way. Dec - March traffic is not like Colorado - well maybe like Denver when the Broncos play a home game.

Yep - all taken into consideration, I drive further to church now than when I move to TV - Trust me, this decision was made with lots of prayer and planning.

[retiredguy123]

To me, this is a no brainer. No one has a right to control your decision to move to another area of the country. It is totally your decision. If you don't want to leave your friends, then don't move. But, they don't get a vote.

[manaboutown]

[QUOTE=asianthree;2161200]Actually there is a very old cemetery in TV, or TV had to build around, it’s off Cherry Lake Road CR100, one can see it from Stillwater trail . Few years ago a society was looking for volunteers, to uncover grave sites.[/QU

Yes it is an old cemetery predating TV, adjacent Caroline, part of an old black community. As far as I know it is not part of TV. Cherry Lake Cemetery in Florida - Find a Grave Cemetery (https://www.findagrave.com/cemetery/2174758/cherry-lake-cemetery)

[patfla06]

I’d save the shame bit, people are entitled to their emotions when a good friend moves away. Losing a good friend to a distant move is like dealing with a death. You may cross paths again when visiting and FaceTime but the whole dynamic of the friendship has changed, there’s no more hanging out with together, socializing at functions…. it’s over.

I’d let your friends grieve and not blame it on jealously. You’re moving to Florida, not some exotic location.

I was going to basically say the same thing.
They’re sad to see you go.

[patfla06]

Five very close couples, 2 were so happy we had choose a active lifestyle, community, they each came on lifestyle visit and bought their own home.
Third couple who still live in our old neighborhood, choose to break ties, with all couples.

Last couple very angry we had all abandoned them, angry words, and bad feelings all around. So it’s almost December they are now sitting in 22° weather with snow.

All of a sudden the 3 couples in TV, that they threw away have now become very important to them. So on a weekly basis they text or email, missing everyone, wanting to come and stay for a month or so.

Not happening in our household, maybe they’ll have more luck with the other two couples.

They want to stay a MONTH or so? No thanks. :ohdear:

[kitnhead]

I was shocked and saddened by the reaction I received from what I thought were good friends when we moved to TV. It does appear that jealousy over early retirement and the reputation TV has for being wealthy. One individual said TV is for people that “hit the lotto”. It took me a year, but now I see these people were not who I thought they were in the first place. Sad, but better to find out, I guess. We love Florida and TV.

[kitnhead]

What does FREE FL mean?

We moved from CA. We couldn’t take not going to the movies anymore (shutdown), most churches still not allowing indoor service (we left in May of 21), and sitting in smelling parking lots to eat because indoor eating was forbidden. When we started to drive across the country we realized how captive we had been. Hope that helps to answ your question.

[Worldseries27]

i’m just 9 days away from my move from colorado until i close on my new home in tv. I’m a little surprised i am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty i am receiving from more friends than i though i would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the tv next week - although i knew they would be saddened (i am too), i thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course i have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to tv.
you have many good postings here to advise you.
Living here is a choice, not a sentence. You can always change your mind. Dont confuse home sickness with freedom's call to new adventures.

[Lsheff]

I did the same 17 months ago.
I'm sure your friends weren't calling everyday to go do something. Well, here they will.
So much to do. Be it sports, crafts, 💃 dancing. Classes for everything.

[bowlingal]

Don't be surprised come February , some of these "friends" want to come for an extended visit.

[La lamy]

Good friends are like John Mac Arthur churches - hard to find. You should stay where they are.

I totally disagree. First of all, good friends don't guilt trip you, secondly, friends are very easy to make if you're open to it. The Villages is one of the best place I know to socialize and find all types of people and mentalities. Congratulations for your early retirement and enjoy your move.

[msilagy]

I think everyone knows what free Fl means! Just think.

[HeleneGB]

I went thru the same thing. They are just jealous. Once you are here the sting you feel will go away.

[crash]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

We got the same thing when leaving California but glad we did. Your friends will get over it and be glad to visit you in the winter when it starts snowing in Colorado.

[gwen walker]

I have one sister who has totally shut me out since moving here eight years ago. I have other family and many friends who have visited many times

[rustyp]

FYI - OP stated in another thread he was going to be a snowbird splitting time between Colorado and TV. IN this thread OP states he will have a spare room in TV for friends. Seems to me friends are within a stones throw.

[Cobullymom]

What does FREE FL mean?
Really? The #2 state in the country where people are moving to. Try living in Cali or NY, no one should have to explain "free"..insert eye roll..

[Bay Kid]

They are jealous. Who wouldn't be? Just tell how great it will be when they come visit.

[TOMCAT]

I totally disagree. First of all, good friends don't guilt trip you, secondly, friends are very easy to make if you're open to it. The Villages is one of the best place I know to socialize and find all types of people and mentalities. Congratulations for your early retirement, and enjoy your move.

I have to agree. Good friends should be happy for you. I do not like when someone tries to make me feel guilty. I feel that is not a friend. Friends try to make one happy.

I would like to move to The Villages, but it is the grandkids that are preventing me. I have to list the pros and cons as to why or why not to move. I have friends, but more can be made if I move. Sometimes it is all right to let go and move on.

[Sherkugawa]

I too experienced this phenomenon. One close friend in particular wouldn’t let up in his criticism of my impending move. I told him nicely to stop it. The very next time we were together he made another comment! We are no longer friends! A “I think you are making a mistake but wish you the best” would have been appreciated but was never received. I share your disappointment!
QUOTE=Michael 61;2161076]I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.[/QUOTE]

[donfey]

What does FREE FL mean?

Are you really asking that question? If so, what's your point?

[Worldseries27]

we got the same thing when leaving california but glad we did. Your friends will get over it and be glad to visit you in the winter when it starts snowing in colorado.
they can stay at the hotel california

[NoMo50]

That's on them, not you. You know the saying...misery loves company. We were guilt-tripped by some long time friends who refused to believe we would actually move and leave them behind. It is simple jealousy.

Since you are moving to a new village, you will be amongst tons of folks who have moved. You will make a lot of new friends quickly, so long as you're not a hermit. We have found that we do more socializing here in TV in a month than we did in a year in our previous domicile. I don't say "back home" anymore, because The Villages is now home.

[mkjelenbaas]

These are your friends? Time to make a change and your doing the right thing.

[mikeycereal]

Wow angry and angry words, hard to believe. I got all good reactions and fond farewells. My boss bought me a laptop and now I work from home. By best friend still calls me like we were still living in the same state. I don't play pickleball, but I hear you can make a lot of friends and even good contacts via networking though that sport. You may be amazed at all the good people you meet just from taking part in the many activities they have here.

[jleonard]

Welcome to The Villages!
Hope you don’t mind crowds and crazy drivers, being you’re from beautiful laid back Colorado. And please please leave your politics in Colorado!

[Lisanp@aol.com]

I was receiving a lot of negativity around the Thanksgiving table from my friends about living in an "old people" community. Then I went around the table calling out everyone's age and telling them that my Village's friends are all younger then they are. They just don't think that they are old but news flash is they are! People have their opinions and their perceptions, and think that The Villages and Florida is where their grandparents live. Close friends will frequently share those opinions and perceptions with you. Don't let them rain on your parade...you are going to love it and they will still be shoveling!

[mikeycereal]

andparents live. Close friends will frequently share those opinions and perceptions with you. Don't let them rain on your parade...you are going to love it and they will still be shoveling!

And scraping! :duck:

From Colorado too and I'm totally done living in a cold state (pun intended). Loved the rainy summer we just had here. Miss those days already but they'll be back.

[msirianni]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

This is a pretty normal human reaction / emotion. You are leaving your friends behind for something you believe is better and something they either don't have the courage to do or can't do for other reasons. They need to distance themselves from you to help avoid the pain of when your gone. It's actually a great complement to you that they are doing this.

[The Chipster]

Perhaps it is the unfortunate politics that is causing this gulf between you and your friends. I know we cannot discuss political details in this forum, but we all know how it affects so many friendships. We moved from The Villages to Asheville, North Carolina 3 years ago, and many really great friends we have made up here poke at us since we are past Villagers.

[toeser]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.


I would have a tough time considering them friends.

[sweetemmie6@gmail.com]

Welcome to The Villages. We lived in Boulder for 2 years when my husband was at the U getting his masters. When we left West Point (we were there for 4 years while he taught), we had the same experience. It was like we were leaving the womb and so many were so quick to tell us how difficult life on the outside would be--housing, medical, etc. We stayed happy because we were leaving the Army and never looked back. When you get here, call us at 352-633-0452--Sandra and Jeff and we can talk Colorado. Blessings and safe travel.

[Whitley]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

I would prefer to think that they are real friends who will be missing you and are sad; they just do not know how to appropriately express what they are feeling. Try and see it from the "they are really going to miss you". What they are doing is inappropriate, but I'd cut them some slack.

[Bobendres]

Our friends were very happy for us. Sure we will miss them and they will miss us. But they want us to be happy

[MrFlorida]

Do what you think is best for you, all new adventures start with some anxiety .

[airstreamingypsy]

What does FREE FL mean?

Good question. It's one of those silly talking points, since Florida is the opposite.

[airstreamingypsy]

Welcome to The Villages!
Hope you don’t mind crowds and crazy drivers, being you’re from beautiful laid back Colorado. And please please leave your politics in Colorado!

Wow, just wow. What an awful thing to say.

[MandoMan]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Guilt trip? Don’t worry about it. Or that. Make some new friends. Temp in the 80s here today.

[Regorp]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.
Sorry your friends are acting this way. Next time a blizzard hits there, show them a picture of you by the pool with a drink in hand. I always do and they get so jealous, they cry. The I invite them down.

[Geodyssey]

What does FREE FL mean?

That it leans (fake) right.

[maistocars]

What does FREE FL mean?
errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....

[Geodyssey]

.,/

[Bogie Shooter]

Really? The #2 state in the country where people are moving to. Try living in Cali or NY, no one should have to explain "free"..insert eye roll..

:shrug:

[Bogie Shooter]

Are you really asking that question? If so, what's your point?

Is it different than “free Ohio” or “free Utah”?

[DonnaNi4os]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

I don’t know if you have children but the guilt I feel is from them. Until I understood that I am the one responsible for my own happiness I felt burdened with guilt. Live your life as you wish and do your best to let go of those feelings that moving has in some way wronged them. Until you do you will not be happy. Welcome to The Villages.

[manaboutown]

errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....

New Mexico's lockdowns were terribly destructive and of course misguided and unnecessary. Children lost out on schooling and many small businesses went under as a result. Covid continues to run rampant there despite the state's history of overbearing restrictions. I love it that Florida remains free of unnecessary restrictions.

Are your friends are jealous of you moving to a relatively restriction free state?

[EdFNJ]

Amazing how even the simplest things take the "political turn" so easily here which is definately something ANYONE who moves here should consider.

[JWGifford]

Interesting topic. We’re seriously considering moving to TV and when discussing it with long time friends they said (rather incredulously) “what will you DO…just make NEW friends?!” to which we replied, “well…yes”. I think its harder for some to make new friends than others and people feel a sense of loss about friends moving away. Couple that with any “native” guilt trips (e.g., you’re somehow a traitor for “abandoning” your native State) and its an emotional topic for sure. I was surprised by our friends reaction.

[Worldseries27]

interesting topic. We’re seriously considering moving to tv and when discussing it with long time friends they said (rather incredulously) “what will you do…just make new friends?!” to which we replied, “well…yes”. I think its harder for some to make new friends than others and people feel a sense of loss about friends moving away. Couple that with any “native” guilt trips (e.g., you’re somehow a traitor for “abandoning” your native state) and its an emotional topic for sure. I was surprised by our friends reaction.
here's the acid test for your friends.
They join together and win the 2 billion lottery . Are they staying your neighbor?

[Love2Swim]

errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....


Factcheck.org has an excellent article which talks about the various studies of restrictions and their effects on mortality rates and concluded that virtually all peer-reviewed research shows a mortality benefit from restrictions.

[RiderOnTheStorm]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

We were fortunate enough to be able to have a home in TV as well as rural Western NY, thereby maintaining our lifelong friendships and WNY lifestyle. While it is very easy to make friends in TV, I suspect what you may miss more is the sheer beauty of Colorado, its change of seasons and its absence of bugs (especially love bugs). Florida is a very flat state (basically a large sandbar) with no real change in seasons other than temperature, which goes from "jungle hot" during it's long summer season to more comfortable most other times. If you are OK living in enclosed air conditioned spaces for six months out of the year you should do well.

[JMintzer]

Don't be surprised come February , some of these "friends" want to come for an extended visit.

We're not yet "full timers" and we already have some of those friends...

We also have some friends (one of my very good golfing buddies), who's wife has stated that she will "NEVER" visit us because she wouldn't be comfortable being around "those type of people"...

She won't be missed... Sadly, he husband will be...

[JMintzer]

Good question. It's one of those silly talking points, since Florida is the opposite.

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

[JMintzer]

Is it different than “free Ohio” or “free Utah”?

Stop trying to bait people into political discussions...

[Stu from NYC]

We're not yet "full timers" and we already have some of those friends...

We also have some friends (one of my very good golfing buddies), who's wife has stated that she will "NEVER" visit us because she wouldn't be comfortable being around "those type of people"...

She won't be missed... Sadly, he husband will be...

Has she ever been around those kind of people living here? Feel bad for your friend.

[manaboutown]

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.

Interestingly as far as safest states from Covid is concerned Florida ranks #2 and Colorado #4 by WalletHub even though they had/have dramatically different degrees of restrictions. To me that likely means the restrictions were unnecessary and ineffective in the long run. Safest States During COVID-19 (https://wallethub.com/edu/safest-states-during-covid/86567)

[Driller703]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Well, since it is their happiness that is important in your life, you should probably stay in Colorado! I think their is more than a little envy going on here.

[Bogie Shooter]

Stop trying to bait people into political discussions...

I was not the first to use free florida. I still wonder……..

[Taltarzac725]

My brother's first wife and kids missed us when we moved from Palm Harbor, FL in 2005 but I went back there on-and-off for seven or so years. They babysat a lot for my younger brother and his wife.

These kids have visited the Villages but are now grown up as so had the kid(s) of my younger brother. My younger brother married a Jamaican-American the 2nd time around and they did experience some harsh looks and actions from both sides of the extended families involved with the mixed race marriage. And some prejudices from people here in the Villages when they visited.

Do think things have gotten better in that area though here in the Villages. But, again, we have lived here since the summer of 2005.

[Bolsadd]

Why in the world would you question their resentment and jealousy of you? Are these what you call friends? True friends would never act this way. Enjoy your life and choose wisely.

[JMintzer]

Has she ever been around those kind of people living here? Feel bad for your friend.

No, she lives in her own bubble... She "tolerates" me, because I'm friends with her husband...

[JMintzer]

I was not the first to use free florida. I still wonder……..

Yes, but you've since brought it up, several times...

[JMintzer]

My brother's first wife and kids missed us when we moved from Palm Harbor, FL in 2005 but I went back there on-and-off for seven or so years. They babysat a lot for my younger brother and his wife.

These kids have visited the Villages but are now grown up as so had the kid(s) of my younger brother. My younger brother married a Jamaican-American the 2nd time around and they did experience some harsh looks and actions from both sides of the extended families involved with the mixed race marriage. And some prejudices from people here in the Villages when they visited.

Do think things have gotten better in that area though here in the Villages. But, again, we have lived here since the summer of 2005.

My office manger of over 25 years is AA. She was down in FL last Winter, visiting her sister (who lives about 30 minutes north), and I invited her and her husband to join us for dinner @ Blue Fin in Brownwood.

They LOVED TV and have returned for dinner 2-3 more times on subsequent visits... She's thinking of moving here when she retires...

I asked her if the "political slant" TV is supposedly known for made any difference. She said no one treated her any differently than they do in DC or the Maryland suburbs...

[Michael 61]

FYI - OP stated in another thread he was going to be a snowbird splitting time between Colorado and TV. IN this thread OP states he will have a spare room in TV for friends. Seems to me friends are within a stones throw.

Thank you for researching and taking the time and effort to attempt to contradict me. So much has happened in my journey in the last six months to get me to this point, changing my mind, exploring options, etc. I have now decided to make the plunge full time and sell in Colorado - since it appears you have taken a certain special interest in me, it may be better for you to send me personal IM’s if there is anything else you would like for me to clear up for you.

[Pairadocs]

I’d save the shame bit, people are entitled to their emotions when a good friend moves away. Losing a good friend to a distant move is like dealing with a death. You may cross paths again when visiting and FaceTime but the whole dynamic of the friendship has changed, there’s no more hanging out with together, socializing at functions…. it’s over.

I’d let your friends grieve and not blame it on jealously. You’re moving to Florida, not some exotic location.

Of all the replies, yours nails it ! Professional background in Psy perhaps ? Human emotions run wild in major "events", and definitely leaving one's friends and surroungings is a major life event. Jealously is usually the one most people theorize first, but you said it best, people ARE entitled to what they are feeling. Some just feel loss, it hurts because YES, you can stay "friends", and NO, the friendship will never be that same. It may last forever, there may be many visits exchanged and vacations, cruises, etc. planned as a means of continuing the friendship, but the day to day contact is different from the future relationship. People often feel betrayed, moving from a lifetime childhood home in particular, some may have the time and the money to move to Florida (or any other location) but they lack the courage...yes, for some it takes courage to change what they have always known, for others as you mentioned, deep family ties such as not being present on a regular basis for grand children, so many DEEP and very complex mix of emotions and motives. It's part of life, meeting, attaching, parting. I say to the poster, as you did, go forward and live YOUR life, do your best to keep in contact, exchange visits, and allow everyone (including yourself, as you too will feel sorry at parting) to experience their own emotions. Always realize the "departing" party usually recovers more quickly as that person is going into an exciting "new" adventure/life. Those "left" will generally suffer the longest and feel the loss deeper... in many ways similar to a divorce. The departing party generally feels loss no matter how destructive the relationship, but recovers more quickly; the person(s) "left" will almost always "suffer" the feelings of "emptiness" for a longer period.

[Djean1981]

Factcheck.org has an excellent article which talks about the various studies of restrictions and their effects on mortality rates and concluded that virtually all peer-reviewed research shows a mortality benefit from restrictions.
Lol

[Garywt]

You have to do what’s right for you. People do get upset and I am not sure why. Friends of ours actually lost friends when they said they were moving. They were told they were wrong, that they would hate it and many other things. We actually started visiting them in Florida and bought a house 3 years ago. Our cousins bought a little over a year ago and not of their kids have come to visit. They were upset that the family home was being sold. Hopefully they will visit soon. Hoping for the best for you and enjoy the Villages once you get here.

[mikempp]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Sounds to me like they will miss your company.

[donfey]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Why would "friends" treat you that way? You'll make many new friends here. Come on down!

[rustyp]

Thank you for researching and taking the time and effort to attempt to contradict me. So much has happened in my journey in the last six months to get me to this point, changing my mind, exploring options, etc. I have now decided to make the plunge full time and sell in Colorado - since it appears you have taken a certain special interest in me, it may be better for you to send me personal IM’s if there is anything else you would like for me to clear up for you.

You are welcome. I'm waiting anxiously for your next question. As you have witnessed we are a community full of advice (quality ?). May I suggest the moment you arrive here in TV you enroll in Residents Academy. Before you ask read this:
VCDD Resident Academy (https://www.districtgov.org/ResidentAcademy.aspx)

FYI - I believe it is "iM" not "IM" - iMessage developed by Apple. Shucks there I go again addicted to research and the quest for accuracy. It is a disease I developed after seeking medical insurance advice here on TOTV many moons ago.

[kenoc7]

Moved from Colorado 17 years ago and all is good down here in TV. I don't think real friends would be doing this to you. Perhaps they are just jealous as you will not be freezing your behind of this year. Looking back, I see that Colorado is not what it used to be as it has become unaffordable for most. We won't even go into the politics. Welcome to FREE FLORIDA.

Florida is far from free if you want to read books or discuss gender identity or racial discrimination.

[Bogie Shooter]

Yes, but you've since brought it up, several times...

Learned that from you …………….

[PugMom]

What does FREE FL mean?

it means we are happy with the decisions the state has made to promote a positive lifestyle for us all, with less regulations than some other places. we saw what life was like in Fl on the news, it was 1 of the major reasons we chose this state above all others. :beer3:

[mikeycereal]

It is probably because, in general, so many Americans believe the inhabitants of The Villages love Trump, DeSantis, the Jan. 6 rioters, etc. Of course this may not be true, but I live out of state, travel nationally extensively, and that is the overwhelming sentiment of most people I talk to. I am trying to not take sides or be political here, just speaking the truth.

Yeah but percentages favor one side, if not all. I myself do not latch on to either cult, and refrain from deep discussions because no one is going to sway another to their side in that sense. Takes a wacko website and news channel to do that. :duck:

[Rodneysblue]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.
Wow! So sorry to hear they were so negative towards you. Maybe they were not the friends you thought they were. When we told our friends we were moving they were very supportive. Although some were sad to see us leave but were happy for us and our new adventure. Don’t worry there will be many new friends to be gained once you settle in here.

[Taltarzac725]

About 90% of my experiences with Villagers have been good over the past 17 years. The worst stuff has been cyber bullying in various venues and these people could actually live just about anywhere. And I do know from their posts that they sometimes are people either still employed or tied to family members. They are waiting or were waiting to move to the Villages.

[Whitley]

Florida is far from free if you want to read books or discuss gender identity or racial discrimination.

You are correct. Teachers can not discuss their pronouns, sexual preference and critical race theory with five year old kindergartners. Of course one may wonder why a 30something year old would want to discuss such things with little children. Very concerning.

[Whitley]

It is probably because, in general, so many Americans believe the inhabitants of The Villages love Trump, DeSantis, the Jan. 6 rioters, etc. Of course this may not be true, but I live out of state, travel nationally extensively, and that is the overwhelming sentiment of most people I talk to. I am trying to not take sides or be political here, just speaking the truth.

Speaking the truth? Be careful with that insanity or you will be cancelled.

[Whitley]

Has she ever been around those kind of people living here? Feel bad for your friend.

I feel badly for her husband.

[tophcfa]

Florida is far from free if you want to read books or discuss gender identity or racial discrimination.

Ya, that’s right on top of my to do list of retirement activities, right behind getting a root canal and open heart surgery.

[Nucky]

How about FaceTime or Zooming with these "friends"? Make the offer to them if you wish and see what their reaction is.

I am in a Zoom meeting with up to 25 people from Jersey and have been for the past several years. It's a nuthouse but a good way to stay in touch with people from your former life. They all say Florida sucks but all want to visit us. I don't think so. Homey Don't Play That Game. There are plenty of Hotels around these parts.

[ElDiabloJoe]

My office manger of over 25 years is AA. She was down in FL last Winter, visiting her sister (who lives about 30 minutes north), and I invited her and her husband to join us for dinner @ Blue Fin in Brownwood.

They LOVED TV and have returned for dinner 2-3 more times on subsequent visits... She's thinking of moving here when she retires...

I asked her if the "political slant" TV is supposedly known for made any difference. She said no one treated her any differently than they do in DC or the Maryland suburbs...

If she's AA, maybe you shouldn't have taken her to a rowdy bar (Blue Fin). Not nice to tempt those trying to purge their demons. Maybe take her someplace not so alcohol-focused. Ohhhhh, you mean she is of African (or Caribbean or West Indies) descent. Just say so, no need to use code words.

[JMintzer]

Learned that from you …………….

https://y.yarn.co/c53b70b3-8787-4ba1-8091-b77cbc1eeb34_text.gif

[JMintzer]

If she's AA, maybe you shouldn't have taken her to a rowdy bar (Blue Fin). Not nice to tempt those trying to purge their demons. Maybe take her someplace not so alcohol-focused. Ohhhhh, you mean she is of African (or Caribbean or West Indies) descent. Just say so, no need to use code words.

It's an abbreviation, used all the time in medical notes...

No "code words" implied nor intended...

But thanks for the insinuation...

[Taltarzac725]

I was playing a game on FunTrivia yesterday which has people from all over the world and was matched with another person of 60+ who lives in Florida.

We got the challenge but he wrote me that he is quite a bit south of me as he did not want to move to the Villages because there are way too many you know who with certain opinions and he does not golf.

ZCaveman was on FunTrivia as well for a while. He passed away, unfortunately.

I would interact with him quite a bit on various internet places.

[Pgcacace]

A free FL means free from COVID restrictions among other things.

[cherylking]

We moved here from Heritage Todd Creek in Thornton, Colorado in 2017. It's a 55+ neighborhood. Many people I knew there, have a second place in Arizona or visit AZ. They think the humidity is unbearable here. Or at least that's a lot of the negative comments I've heard. Yes, it's humid but not always. There are 100+ swimming pools to get cooled off in TV or even air conditioning.
I've been back to CO 4 times to visit friends. We belong to the Colorado club in TV and love it. There is so much more here than any other 55+ neighborhood.

I will admit, I did shed some tears when I left CO, It was definitely because of the friends I left behind but I don't regret it at all.

[Aces4]

Yeah but percentages favor one side, if not all. I myself do not latch on to either cult, and refrain from deep discussions because no one is going to sway another to their side in that sense. Takes a wacko website and news channel to do that. :duck:

Correction….news channels.

[Warbunny1]

Michael, we to will be moving from Ft. Collins CO to Richmond, close in a few weeks and will settle in shortly after that. Best wishes and good luck, hope to see you there very soon. As others have said, once you're in, your real friends will be lining up to visit.

Mike 63
Chicago, IL
Ft. Collins, CO

[Carlsondm]

That a typical sarcastic response from some people. We moved from Michigan 4 years ago and don't regret it one bit. We are a mobile society. We travel back occasionally and see them about as much as we did before. We love that we dejunked and did something for ourselves. Part of the adventure of life.

[Michael 61]

Michael, we to will be moving from Ft. Collins CO to Richmond, close in a few weeks and will settle in shortly after that. Best wishes and good luck, hope to see you there very soon. As others have said, once you're in, your real friends will be lining up to visit.

Mike 63
Chicago, IL
Ft. Collins, CO
Mike, good luck with your move - it’s crazy for me right now, as I am doing so much renovations right now on my home in Colorado Springs, as I ready to put it on the market. Maybe we’ll see you in the Colorado Club 😀

[Pairadocs]

We faced some of the same, not only from a couple of longtime best friends, but also from one of our kids. It was really surprising from the kids because they hadn’t lived near us for nearly 10 years but they assumed we would move to where they were when we retired. They didn’t take it well when we told them we had other plans.
Have honest conversations with them. Maybe tell them directly that you are surprised by their reactions and ask why they aren’t being supportive. Sometimes people don’t even understand why they are reacting a certain way until forced to confront it and think about their feelings. If their reasons are rooted in the fact that they will be missing you and can’t imagine not being able to see you, accept that as love and have discussions about how the friendship will continue. If it’s about jealousy then that’s their problem. You can’t control how other people feel.
If they are REAL friends they will come around in time, especially once they see that you are happy.

Exceptional insight !

[Pairadocs]

A free FL means free from COVID restrictions among other things.


Agree ! Free to ride a bike, play golf, go to a state park or beach...all maskless. Old collage chums were always telling me that was not the case for them (Calif. and Illinois). Also friends were amazed that our children were able to go to public schools, to attend in person in Illinois had to have the $$ for private or parochial schools, and governments there even came down on those schools... thus our friends also began to use the term "free Florida", not meaning we need to be FREED, but that we were free to act as we wished to protect our selves and it was made our responsibility, the burden of looking after our personal health was not placed on others.

[kitnhead]

We realized we needed to leave CA when the term “illegal haircut” came into fashion. It was absolutely crazy and terribly depressing to live there. I was not a bit sad to leave, and I had a lovely little house; but for me, freedom is everything.

[ElDiabloJoe]

While I agree wholeheartedly with the majority here, I'm expecting "those that be" to close this thread due to perspective disagreement in 5...4...3...2...
:popcorn:

We should start a pool for this thread being locked. Today, this week (Friday at 1700), this weekend? :police:

[Trex1482]

I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

We are from Colorado Springs also, just closed this day on a home in Richmond. Small world. We will do the snowbird thing for awhile.

[Michael 61]

We are from Colorado Springs also, just closed this day on a home in Richmond. Small world. We will do the snowbird thing for awhile.

Wow, I think you make the 4th people I’m aware of buying in Richmond from Colorado.

[Taltarzac725]

I spent a year getting a MA in Librarianship and Information Management at the U of Denver in 1983-1984. Really beautiful country in that area of Colorado.

Still keep track of DU Hockey.

[mikeycereal]

Know a few others who recently moved here from Colorado Springs. I used to live there from 2000-2011, and after 10+ years I was done living in snow states.