I just had to open my big mouth....

[Taltarzac725]

What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you men name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...

[Ecuadog]

Sure. Now you tell me.

[Two Bills]

Good one Tal.
I had a similar near death experience over the color of my wife's eyes.
I thought I was going to qualify as a full time member of 'The Kennel Club!

[JMintzer]

Good one Tal.
I had a similar near death experience over the color of my wife's eyes.
I thought I was going to qualify as a full time member of 'The Kennel Club!

"Bloodshot" wasn't the right answer?

[fdpaq0580]

Apparently, " glow red in the dark " isn't correct either.

[ThirdOfFive]

What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you men name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...
Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

[chrissy2231]

Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.
I add, don't try to change mate!

[buster21]

Emmylou said it best. “ No man is master to me, I ain’t that kind.”
This post is sad and DATED.

[Veiragirl]

Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card

[bark4me]

You found yourself a unicorn ������

[Drdoug49]

happy wife, happy life. lol

[retiredguy123]

A wife is standing naked in front of a full length mirror in the bedroom. She says to her husband, "Honey, I'm old, fat, and ugly. I really need a complement". The husbands says, "Well, your eyesight is darn near perfect".

[DonnaNi4os]

🤣🌸🥐

[Two Bills]

A wife is standing naked in front of a full length mirror in the bedroom. She says to her husband, "Honey, I'm old, fat, and ugly. I really need a complement". The husbands says, "Well, your eyesight is darn near perfect".

All these jokes are being taken from my life and my "10 Worst Answers" book!

[PugMom]

I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card

YES! we can over to Bealls, leave the hubbies in the small rec area for men, with sofas & tv, then head for the sale aisles! weeee!

[FredJacobs]

I'm reminded of the story of the young man who joins an order of monks. He see all of the monks, sitting on high stools, scrupulously copying text from a previously copied book.

An idea hits the young man so he goes and asks the head monk, "Do we know if the copies they are making today don't have any errors in them are are true to the original?"

The senior monk replies, "We should go down to the main library and check." So, they go down to the library, dust of all of the books to find the one that the scribes are currently working on.

They find the correct book and thumb through looking for errors. Suddenly, the head monk gasps and shouts, "It says celebrate, CELEBRATE!"

[Maybelle]

Good one.

My wife claims that any woman can keep any man happy by following three simple rules:

1. Good food,
2. good sex, and
3 don't b!tch too much.

My wife is a wise woman.

You, sir, have gotten stuck in the 50's! Time to rethink your opinions of the role of women.

[Maybelle]

I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card

She can't/doesn't have one of her own?

[tvbound]

You, sir, have gotten stuck in the 50's! Time to rethink your opinions of the role of women.

Sadly, previously in-the-closet misogynists have felt freer to espouse their ugly attitudes - in the last 7 years or so.

[fdpaq0580]

She can't/doesn't have one of her own?

She can/does have her own. She just thinks it is more fun to spend "my" money. The reality is that everything belongs to us both, 50/50. And, my money is her money.

[Djean1981]

Funny

[ThirdOfFive]

I add a 4th...access to husbands credit card
Lol! Good point.

[ThirdOfFive]

You, sir, have gotten stuck in the 50's! Time to rethink your opinions of the role of women.
Apparently indignation can override reading comprehension at times.

This is my WIFE'S observation. Not mine.

[jimjamuser]

What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He then addressed the men, “Can you men name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy...
Truly humorous! Kudos!

[jimjamuser]

Sadly, previously in-the-closet misogynists have felt freer to espouse their ugly attitudes - in the last 7 years or so.
Real good hidden meanings there !!!!!

[buster21]

Stupid.

[buster21]

How generous of you.

[buster21]

She can/does have her own. She just thinks it is more fun to spend "my" money. The reality is that everything belongs to us both, 50/50. And, my money is her money.

How generous of you.

[buster21]

A wife is standing naked in front of a full length mirror in the bedroom. She says to her husband, "Honey, I'm old, fat, and ugly. I really need a complement". The husbands says, "Well, your eyesight is darn near perfect".

He’s the fat grotesque one!

[buster21]

Truly humorous! Kudos!

No it’s not… get with the times man.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Updated twist on old joke:

What is celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, my husband and I listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
She then addressed the women, “Can you men name and describe your husband's favorite flower?”
My husband interjected, faced the other men in the crowd and said with a loud snicker, "The ones I haven't taken yet amiright?”
And thus began his new life of poverty and celibacy.

[Bay Kid]

And then the fight began!