Hard core nursing care at home?

[Fastskiguy]

Hello :)

My in laws moved in with my wife and me June 2022 and have fairly major mobility issues and moderately severe dementia. We’ve been going along with a home health company, 5 hours per day. Their needs have been increasing and now they need help with getting up, feeding, and toileting. They have both been in and out of rehab a few times over the last 2 years and we have struggled to get adequate care in several facilities as they have a lot of needs. We’d like to keep them at home as long as possible, even thru end of life, if we can. But we need some serious help, it’s gotten to be work all day long and our home help just isn’t cutting it.

Is what we think we want to do even possible? And if so, is there a company that can help us? We are paying out of pocket and are willing to throw more money at this problem for more help.

Thanks for any comments you may have :)

Joe

[Fastskiguy]

Just checking in....does anybody have any comments?

Joe

[retiredguy123]

They would be better off in a facility.

[ChrisTee]

I don't have any suggestions but am watching to see if someone has something to contribute. Our neighbors had a service 24/7 for about 3 months. I will check to see if I can learn anything about their experience.

[villagetinker]

I believe there are some agencies that MAY be able to help. I would call Sumter County general number and ask for help, they will direct you to a suitable county or state agency. A lot may depend on finances, and I am sure nothing will happen quickly. There is a entity called "A place for Mom" and they may be able to give you some advice. We used Mission Oaks for my wife's mother, nice facility and very good staff, I think she was there for 1.5 to 2 years in the memory unit.
I hope you find a suitable solution.

[CarlR33]

They would be better off in a facility. While this may seem a harsh response I would agree that at some point they may need full time care and you have already given them ~2 years of an extension away from that? Our parents have went from apartment in a care home to full time health care in around 4 years time. It’s tuff to do and good luck. You also need your time to yourself while you can still enjoy your life.

[thelegges]

There are two factors one I agree with OP, in keeping in home for as long as possible. Reason is it’s how we were raised, and our grands and greats were cared for in home until death. My mom always said once you put me in a home you may stop once a week eventually you will forget me. I would rather die than be in a home.

While there are good facilities, sometimes it’s not the best fit.

We have also had experience with some of the at home companies, experience was less then adequate.

Have heard many good things about a place for mom. They will give you advice on what is available for your situation. Rehab can be repeated if needed.

[Fastskiguy]

While this may seem a harsh response I would agree that at some point they may need full time care and you have already given them ~2 years of an extension away from that? Our parents have went from apartment in a care home to full time health care in around 4 years time. It’s tuff to do and good luck. You also need your time to yourself while you can still enjoy your life.

I appreciate the comment but the reality is that the best we've found is one aid per 10 residents. That works out to 6 minutes per hour and that's not enough to care for their needs.

I'm not staying we're opposed to...at some point...putting them in a facility and hoping for the best. It's just that *right now* we're not ready for 1/10th of an aid's time at this point. We're looking for skilled nursing, 1 on 1 care. (well...1 on 2 care but you know what I mean)

Assistance would be nice but we're fortunate enough to be working and can afford care. I am back to my original question....is there a resource out there for hard core skilled care at nearly any price?

Thanks again for the comments :)

Joe

[Fastskiguy]

We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks :)

Joe

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks :)

Joe

Unfortunately, you're going to need more help. You'll either need to bring in aides for far longer than 5 hours a day, or you'll need to find them a facility that can care for them. If they didn't buy long-term insurance, it's going to cost a lot of money, either way, unless they have no assets and no savings.

My parents had long-term insurance, and the -deductible- for home health aides was $50,000 each. So mom had to pay $50,000 before insurance picked up the rest, and she had 24/7 care at home. After she died last October, dad still needed them to stay in the house, because he wasn't able to move around, and couldn't drive to doctors appointments or go grocery shopping, or any of that stuff. So he had to pay $50,000 for 24/7 care as well, even though it's the same three aides (one's a night aide who stays 7 nights a week, one is a weekday daytime aide, and one is only there daytime on weekends).

Mom died at home, with home-hospice care. After dad went through that, while my sister and I were there for the last 2 weeks of her life, he decided that he'd rather be put in a hospice facility when the time comes. He doesn't want his daughters to go through that trauma with him.

But putting him in a facility now, a non-hospice facility, would cost upward around $6000 per month, and medicare doesn't cover that. He could get 100 days covered in an actual nursing home, but what happens if he lives longer than that? The costs are astronomical and at that point, he'd have no home to return to.

I don't envy you your situation, OP. But please do consider YOUR needs as well as your in-law's needs. Don't sacrifice your own health. If your back goes out from trying to pick one of them up if they fall - who will take care of ALL of you?

[AZTOFLA]

[QUOTE=Fastskiguy;2323452]We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks :)

I strongly recommend Grab Bars and More at 352-630-9256. They installed a bolted in toilet riser, grab bar at side of toilet in primary bath, in front of the 2nd toilet, and in showers. George had many recommendations for best placement. He was very helpful.

[Taltarzac725]

Hello :)

My in laws moved in with my wife and me June 2022 and have fairly major mobility issues and moderately severe dementia. We’ve been going along with a home health company, 5 hours per day. Their needs have been increasing and now they need help with getting up, feeding, and toileting. They have both been in and out of rehab a few times over the last 2 years and we have struggled to get adequate care in several facilities as they have a lot of needs. We’d like to keep them at home as long as possible, even thru end of life, if we can. But we need some serious help, it’s gotten to be work all day long and our home help just isn’t cutting it.

Is what we think we want to do even possible? And if so, is there a company that can help us? We are paying out of pocket and are willing to throw more money at this problem for more help.

Thanks for any comments you may have :)

Joe

Have their doctors recommended palliative hospice? Companies like Vitas and Cornerstone can provide a lot of equipment and weekly or so visits. Their health care providers need to refer hospice though. I rejected them at first but they have been very helpful with medications and equipment.

[Inexes@aol.com]

We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks :)

Joe

If in rehab facility the D/C planner should be handling all your in home needs post D/C. Should be ordering Medicare HH Agency to eval and treat and that will get you started and will provide information on durable medical equipment for safety in home. It is a very involved process and the person from the HHC agency can help you understand. Medicare does not pay for any custodial care, but all the Medicare agencies also have a "private pay side" that can provide for any/all your needs. This is paid out of pocket. And there are many agencies in the area that provide care 24/7 that are not affiliated with a Medicare agency and in most instances, a little cheaper. But believe me..... no in home care or facility care is cheap. It is just unbelievable, the charges to care for our elderly.
If you go the Medicare HHC way, be sure that you get an order for a Social Worker who is the person who will help you with your long term care planning.
Good luck with your planning. I feel your pain. I am the other end of the stick... I am the MIL, living with my daughter & spouse in their home and I worry all day, every day, about the same things you are worrying about. I have not reached the stage your in laws have, but it is coming and I am going to be facing the same problems. I really never planned on this and dwell constantly on the thought that I am "ruining their lives"..... We parents did not plan on this..... Good Luck and God Bless.
BTW: I worked for 40 yrs in HHC and 20 of those in The Villages, right up until 2020 when Covid hit. I can highly recommend both Housecall and Amedisys HH Care agencies.

[Taltarzac725]

We have had Right at Home coming in for two years or so. Expensive but worth it most of the time. You do get someone who does not fit in well with our situation on occasion. We have someone for seven hours a day or so each day. I do the work the rest of time. Hardest job I have ever had. Good luck.

Vitas covers a lot of the equipment and meds.

[Taltarzac725]

I do wonder how well the nursing homes around here deal with sundowning? It can get really bad on some days without almost no help from the prescribed drugs. Prescribed by the palliative hospice. In our case, this is Vitas.

[Papa_lecki]

Going through the exact same thing with my parents. My sister WAS taking the brunt of the stress.

If you (or they) have the money, get them into assisted living. We are lucky and our parents can do independent living.

The stress on you and spouse are not worth it - you are bringing on your own health issues by doing this.

[macawlaw]

I was on a team of three to make healthcare decisions for a gentleman who could no longer make his own decisions, but let us know ahead of time that he wanted to remain in his home.

We hired round-the -clock nurses through a nursing agency. This was in Ohio, so I don’t know any organizations for you to contact. The local Council on Aging might have a list? Good luck.

[Taltarzac725]

I was on a team of three to make healthcare decisions for a gentleman who could no longer make his own decisions, but let us know ahead of time that he wanted to remain in his home.

We hired round-the -clock nurses through a nursing agency. This was in Ohio, so I don’t know any organizations for you to contact. The local Council on Aging might have a list? Good luck.

We had an excellent worker with Trusted Home Care but they seemed smaller than Right at Home. The excellent worker had some health problems of her own and her replacements often left a lot to be desired. Right at Home has a lot of alternatives if so-and-so does not work out.

There are a lot of houses near us getting some kind of home health care visitors.

We are in the Villages.

[LuvNH]

We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks :)

Joe

Moen makes the bars you are looking for. Our bars were put in by someone who advertises in the Sun, or did when we needed bars. They are inserted into the wall and have something similar to a fan that opens up anchoring them safely into the wall. My husband is very slim and we still needed one at the toilet, three in the shower area and one to get across the room.

I wish you well and hope you find help. I am a 24/7 caregiver for my husband (a labor of love), but it is very difficult and extremely tiring.

I do know from experience, that even with long term care insurance the carers are not great.

[Fastskiguy]

I want to thank everybody for the info and suggestions, you guys are really great!

It looks like our situation may be sorta working itself out. Father in law has been in and out with a compression fracture in his spine, getting booted from rehab on Saturday (2 days from now). He can walk....with a lot of assistance. He can get to the toilet...but again, not without a lot of assistance. We don't feel like we can bring him home in this condition....he needs to be able to get to the bathroom by himself 6-8 times daily and that is just not possible right now.

We thought about converting the living area to a "bedroom" and getting 24/7 help but it is really tough out there to get a reliable team you can count on. We are getting uncovered shifts now at only 6-8 hours per day!

So we are pivoting to looking for a facility. We think...though can't really be sure because of dementia....that they would like to be together at this point and since mother in law definitely needs a memory care facility, that's where we're looking.

So I guess I'd like to hijack my own thread here and ask....what's the best memory care facility in the area? We're out of pocket pay but let's assume we've got some money to spend for a high end place. We'd like to find a place fast....but he can chill at rehab for a few days on a cash basis if we need to. We're visiting a few places tomorrow. Does anybody have a recommendation?

Thanks again!!

Joe

[macawlaw]

We helped narrow the search on where to visit by looking at the inspection scores with comments. They are online, but I forget where and what they are called. Also, once at a place I asked to see the family/resident comment sheets that facilities are required to keep (at least in Ohio). One place told me that they did not have to do a survey and I turned around and walked out. Another place gave me the run-around and finally said that it would be available later. I turned around and walked out. Ask what the staffing ratio is both during the day and at night. Many places don’t staff a nurse at night and have a very low nightly ratio. This can be dangerous especially for those sundowning. Check to see if residents are stuck in their chairs with strings that will set off an alarm if they get up. This indicates a lack of adequate staff. Some places get residents up in the morning, lock their rooms, and make them stay in a lounge during the day. This, too, indicates inadequate staffing.

You may want to ask if once a person is there they move to the top of the list for a different area. For example, my dad needed to go to assisted living, and I wanted him in the same place where my mom was in skilled nursing. An opening came up in memory care, so I put dad in there. The wait for assisted living was 2 1/2 years. However, because he was already in the facility, he got into assisted living in less than a month.

Good luck during your search. It’s a hard and emotional decision.

[LuvNH]

https://sonataseniorliving.com/senior-communities-in-florida/serenades-at-the-villages/

Serenades at the Villages is on Parr Drive, right next to the library across from the old high school. I know the care is superb, the cost is extremely high.

I hope you find help. The conditions under which you are living are very stressful and will impact your health.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

I've heard great things about Trinity Springs. It's right behind Hobby Lobby on that side road (103) off 466, near 301.

[Shipping up to Boston]

First off, admirable that you have taken this on and continue to. Like other posts, I can only give a suggestion based on our own experience. Granted it was in the late 80’s but like you, money at the time was not the overriding issue. My family member was taken in by my late grandmother, who herself was living in a senior age restricted community. As a family we took shifts and spent the majority of the money on private RNs. While costly, it allowed ours to pass with dignity and a constant family presence. That was just the way it was done culturally and historically. Obviously we live in different times and even with the best of finances and insurance.....it dissipates....and fast. That said, I’m a big proponent of private nursing care as the ones that assisted our family are still in touch with us and have remained close friends as a result. As one suggested earlier, please take care of yourselves as well. Wish you all the best!

[Fastskiguy]

We've opted for memory care at The Harrison in Wildwood for father in law and may be moving mother in law in too depending on how it goes. It'll take a few days to get the apartment outfitted but he'll be there in a few days and the next chapter begins. Thanks for all of the help!

Joe

[Shipping up to Boston]

We've opted for memory care at The Harrison in Wildwood for father in law and may be moving mother in law in too depending on how it goes. It'll take a few days to get the apartment outfitted but he'll be there in a few days and the next chapter begins. Thanks for all of the help!

Joe

I’m sure it was a tough decision for your family. Wish all of you the best of health and happiness in the next chapter

[Fastskiguy]

Just a quick update and another couple of questions! We're at the 1 week point in memory care and things are solidly "OK". The staff is good to him, the food is good, and he's making a friend or two as well. Mentally he's improving but physically he's still wheelchair bound and can't do things like move around on the bed by himself, eating, getting to the toilet, etc. It's only 15 minutes from the house so we're able to visit daily and the visits have been refreshingly pleasant....More visiting/less work!!

In this facility there is no "call button", the staff checks on residents periodically and doesn't depend on a resident pressing a call button. The goal is every 2 hours but sometimes it's more like 6-8 (we have the motion activated cameras in the room so we can monitor it). Personally I am happy with his care. He's in pretty good shape as are the rest of the residents.

However, he is NOT happy with the level of care. What he really wants is a call button he can press and then somebody comes running. He's got a lot of wants....TV channel changed, sip of water, adjust the sheets or the angle of the bed, trip to the bathroom, fluff the pillow etc. etc. When he lived with us.....we were doing that kind of stuff at home as a matter of course. Now that he's in a facility, things are different and he goes hours just waiting for somebody to come in and check on him.

Is what he wants possible anywhere? I mean where he can hit a button and somebody comes right away?


Thanks again!!

Joe

[asianthree]

Just a quick update and another couple of questions! We're at the 1 week point in memory care and things are solidly "OK". The staff is good to him, the food is good, and he's making a friend or two as well. Mentally he's improving but physically he's still wheelchair bound and can't do things like move around on the bed by himself, eating, getting to the toilet, etc. It's only 15 minutes from the house so we're able to visit daily and the visits have been refreshingly pleasant....More visiting/less work!!

In this facility there is no "call button", the staff checks on residents periodically and doesn't depend on a resident pressing a call button. The goal is every 2 hours but sometimes it's more like 6-8 (we have the motion activated cameras in the room so we can monitor it). Personally I am happy with his care. He's in pretty good shape as are the rest of the residents.

However, he is NOT happy with the level of care. What he really wants is a call button he can press and then somebody comes running. He's got a lot of wants....TV channel changed, sip of water, adjust the sheets or the angle of the bed, trip to the bathroom, fluff the pillow etc. etc. When he lived with us.....we were doing that kind of stuff at home as a matter of course. Now that he's in a facility, things are different and he goes hours just waiting for somebody to come in and check on him.

Is what he wants possible anywhere? I mean where he can hit a button and somebody comes right away?


Thanks again!!

Joe

Since your elder is new to the facility, and no longer has full time family care, this is a huge adjustment.

Our Granddaughter in med school, works at 3 facilities (her specialty aging ortho trauma).

At each facility 5-12 patients per hands on employee. Even with 5 patients, if you are engaged with one patient, 4 others would be pushing buttons wanting needs to be taken care of immediately.
5 is doable at a small private facility, but patients can sometimes wait for an hour. Why because you could be in a room for 5 to 40 minutes. (Clean up is time consuming)

One facility has push buttons. A full time non patient caregiver takes request, caregiver grabs request slips as they run by. She honestly thinks her care level is less hands on, with call button then to the stop in each room. Mainly because some patients just want and expect immediate attention sometimes 15 times in an hour.

Sadly what she has found is those who’s family rarely if ever show up, is the patients pushing the buttons constantly. They are lonely usually want that human contact more than needs.

You have found a facility that you are happy with, have a camera in the room in case of emergency, give it some time. Otherwise your best option is spending great deals of time in the room, which doesn’t help in adjusting to a whole new life for you and him. Our experience is button doesn’t get better care, if staff is overwhelmed

Good luck and take a moment for yourself, your wellbeing is very important

[Taltarzac725]

Since your elder is new to the facility, and no longer has full time family care, this is a huge adjustment.

Our Granddaughter in med school, works at 3 facilities (her specialty aging ortho trauma).

At each facility 5-12 patients per hands on employee. Even with 5 patients, if you are engaged with one patient, 4 others would be pushing buttons wanting needs to be taken care of immediately.
5 is doable at a small private facility, but patients can sometimes wait for an hour. Why because you could be in a room for 5 to 40 minutes. (Clean up is time consuming)

One facility has push buttons. A full time non patient caregiver takes request, caregiver grabs request slips as they run by. She honestly thinks her care level is less hands on, with call button then to the stop in each room. Mainly because some patients just want and expect immediate attention sometimes 15 times in an hour.

Sadly what she has found is those who’s family rarely if ever show up, is the patients pushing the buttons constantly. They are lonely usually want that human contact more than needs.

You have found a facility that you are happy with, have a camera in the room in case of emergency, give it some time. Otherwise your best option is spending great deals of time in the room, which doesn’t help in adjusting to a whole new life for you and him. Our experience is button doesn’t get better care, if staff is overwhelmed

Good luck and take a moment for yourself, your wellbeing is very important

Sounds like what I have heard from various home care people we have had the past almost 3.5 years for help with my mother. Many of these ladies have worked in area nursing homes as well as memory care places.

[Fastskiguy]

One facility has push buttons. A full time non patient caregiver takes request, caregiver grabs request slips as they run by. She honestly thinks her care level is less hands on, with call button then to the stop in each room. Mainly because some patients just want and expect immediate attention sometimes 15 times in an hour.

We visited Bridgewater Park in Ocala yesterday and the director said this exact same thing so your post is incredibly timely! He also said that in the first week, plenty of missteps are going to be made but after 1 week...then 1 month...then out to 3 months so that comment helped set our expectations at the current place.

I appreciate the comments!

Joe

[PugMom]

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

[Shipping up to Boston]

We visited Bridgewater Park in Ocala yesterday and the director said this exact same thing so your post is incredibly timely! He also said that in the first week, plenty of missteps are going to be made but after 1 week...then 1 month...then out to 3 months so that comment helped set our expectations at the current place.

I appreciate the comments!

Joe

Honestly, you hear horror stories about these facilities. Having followed your thread....I believe you and your family have done your due diligence, set up some safeguards and have found a respectable facility to meet your loved ones....and your needs. You clearly are committed to them and are compassionate, resolute in their care. Nothing but respect sir

[Shipping up to Boston]

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

Heartbreaking
Thank you for sharing your story. Very relatable

[asianthree]

We visited Bridgewater Park in Ocala yesterday and the director said this exact same thing so your post is incredibly timely! He also said that in the first week, plenty of missteps are going to be made but after 1 week...then 1 month...then out to 3 months so that comment helped set our expectations at the current place.

I appreciate the comments!

Joe

You’re welcome, just remember you still have one at home with dementia, time consuming and frustrating and mentally challenging on your part every waking minute.

Each you and your spouse need once a week to take a1/2 day for yourself.

If any of you are a veteran, the VA website has Caregiver sites that offer tips, online workshops, and live chats. I know it’s hard sometimes, but there are people in your corner, you just need to reach out. TV also has some clubs for caregivers and dementia patients, with interactive groups for aging parents.

Many are in that caregiver mode, if you have questions or just having a bad day, TOTV has always been a go to for many.

So week 2 should have progress with facility, I personally use an Alexa with screen. Not only can I see what is going on, I can speak to parents. Gives them that face to face even though not in the same room.

Again big deep breath.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Just a quick update and another couple of questions! We're at the 1 week point in memory care and things are solidly "OK". The staff is good to him, the food is good, and he's making a friend or two as well. Mentally he's improving but physically he's still wheelchair bound and can't do things like move around on the bed by himself, eating, getting to the toilet, etc. It's only 15 minutes from the house so we're able to visit daily and the visits have been refreshingly pleasant....More visiting/less work!!

In this facility there is no "call button", the staff checks on residents periodically and doesn't depend on a resident pressing a call button. The goal is every 2 hours but sometimes it's more like 6-8 (we have the motion activated cameras in the room so we can monitor it). Personally I am happy with his care. He's in pretty good shape as are the rest of the residents.

However, he is NOT happy with the level of care. What he really wants is a call button he can press and then somebody comes running. He's got a lot of wants....TV channel changed, sip of water, adjust the sheets or the angle of the bed, trip to the bathroom, fluff the pillow etc. etc. When he lived with us.....we were doing that kind of stuff at home as a matter of course. Now that he's in a facility, things are different and he goes hours just waiting for somebody to come in and check on him.

Is what he wants possible anywhere? I mean where he can hit a button and somebody comes right away?


Thanks again!!

Joe

No one coming into his room for 6-8 hours a day means he's at risk for bedsores. He -must- be moved more often than that. Tell the facility that the "goal" can be every 2 hours, but he -must- be attended to no less often than every 3 hours. And that's just to make sure his body and legs are moved, and to see to his bladder needs if he needs it. A 5-minute "check-in" every 3 hours can make the difference between inconvenience and medical requirement.

[Fastskiguy]

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

So was this dementia nurse service available locally here in TV or was that elsewhere in the country? Was it thru a service or did you hire the person privately? We're not entirely opposed to hiring extra help for him while in memory care. I mean...it seems ridiculous, right? But it might be worth it.

Just today he called us because he was "stuck between his wheelchair and the bed" and "didn't feel like sitting there for the next 6 hours waiting for somebody to check on him" (he actually said that!) It turned out to be more "couldn't get his legs onto the bed", kinda 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the bed...but still. We called the front desk and they had somebody in there within a couple of minutes (we're loving the camera). If he hadn't had his phone in his pocket he'd just have been waiting for who knows how long. I'm not exactly upset at the care, I think they are doing what they do and everybody is friendly at least. It's just that we think we need more. And not just a little bit more!

Joe

[PugMom]

sorry being late to get back to you. i'm going to send some info to your inbox. :ho: