Quick horse story

[CoachKandSportsguy]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Look, horse, you’ve been in here every night this week. Do you think maybe you’re an alcoholic?”

The horse replies, “I think not!”, and then, poof, the horse disappears.

You’re probably wondering how a horse could just disappear like that. Well it goes back to something that the philosopher Rene Descartes said more than 2 centuries ago: “I think, therefore I am.” Once the horse went against that, he was finished.

Now, I could have started this story with that part about philosophy, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

[jimbomaybe]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Look, horse, you’ve been in here every night this week. Do you think maybe you’re an alcoholic?”

The horse replies, “I think not!”, and then, poof, the horse disappears.

You’re probably wondering how a horse could just disappear like that. Well it goes back to something that the philosopher Rene Descartes said more than 2 centuries ago: “I think, therefore I am.” Once the horse went against that, he was finished.

Now, I could have started this story with that part about philosophy, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

OHHHH,, OHHHHH , moderator MODERATOR

[AMB444]

...Descartes before the horse.

oh dear. :sigh:

:1rotfl:

[Stu from NYC]

OHHHH,, OHHHHH , moderator MODERATOR

Why do you have a problem with that post?

[jimbomaybe]

Why do you have a problem with that post?

A snail, grasshopper and a caterpillar all work at a warehouse, on their breaks they sit and discuss cars, the snail tells them wait till next week , I will show you something amazing , next week the snail shows up with a megabuck performance , mid six figure work of art, with an S painted on the sides the snail get in and starts circling the block , faster and faster , just a blur, the caterpillar turns to the grasshopper, points to the S car and 'Look at that escargot !!! "

[Boomer]

Oh, noooo, you are pun-ishing us.

I love those silly little jokes that play on words.

Do you know more of them?

Boomer

[fdpaq0580]

A sailor walks into a bordello. Sorry, if I continue I'll be banned. Use the dirtiest organ you have, you mind, and finish the story. 🤐🙊😱🤬

[CoachKandSportsguy]

OHHHH,, OHHHHH , moderator MODERATOR

:1rotfl: :1rotfl: :1rotfl: :1rotfl:

[shaw8700@outlook.com]

I LOVE all these!

[gbs317]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Look, horse, you’ve been in here every night this week. Do you think maybe you’re an alcoholic?”

The horse replies, “I think not!”, and then, poof, the horse disappears.

You’re probably wondering how a horse could just disappear like that. Well it goes back to something that the philosopher Rene Descartes said more than 2 centuries ago: “I think, therefore I am.” Once the horse went against that, he was finished.

Now, I could have started this story with that part about philosophy, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

And my kids tell me my dad jokes are terrible…. With your permission can I use this one on them the next time I talk to them…. I love it. 😂

[mntlblok]

103520Why do you have a problem with that post? Cause they ain't got one of these?

[Salty Dog]

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle. I bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle might break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home...

[Angelhug52]

Needed a good laugh. TY

[ThirdOfFive]

I have a nag-ging doubt that this story is not true...

[Finchs]

He doesn't want anyone to know he's been messing with the chickens!!!

[Heytubes]

I’m going back to bed.

[tedquick]

I love good humor and it's certainly exhibited in this post. Thanks to each of you who have contributed.

[nhbear]

Good way to start the day , with a smile . Thank you

[Windguy]

I know a lot of these jokes. I think my sister told them to me when I was a kid. Does anyone know what kind of jokes these are? That is, is there a name for them? I don’t think it's Dad jokes.

----
Edit: According to ChatGBT:

"Jokes that twist a common expression for the punchline are often referred to as "pun jokes" or "puns." A pun is a form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. In this case, the twist on a common expression creates humor through the unexpected reinterpretation of the original phrase."

I think pun jokes are less specific than these kind of jokes, which are like squares to the rectangles of puns, and rectangles are more specific than the quadrangles of jokes. When I entered in some of these punchlines, ChatGBT said they were "pun or wordplay joke(s)."
----

I won’t list the whole jokes, but here the punch lines:

That’s a hickory daiquiri Doc.

He’s a real Esso bee.

People in grass houses shouldn’t store thrones. (Edit: As mentioned in mntlblok's response, that should be "stow" instead of "store.")

If the Foo sh*ts, wear it.

Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.

Look at that S-car go! (used previously in this thread for a slightly different joke)

And, the full Descartes joke that I know:

Descartes visits a fancy restaurant with his new girlfriend. The sommelier asks what they would like to drink. The girlfriend asks for their finest champagne. Descartes says “I think not!” and disappears.

[nn0wheremann]

A home insurance executive, a TV lawyer, and a Tallahassee bureaucrat are out at the dog park one sunny Florida afternoon. Naturally they start talking about how smart their dogs are. Soon a bet is laid. So the insurance guy says to his dog “Adjuster, do your thing!” So Adjuster builds a complete disaster avoidance model out of dog biscuits. The TV Lawyer says t”that’s nothing, Litigator show them what you can do!” Litigator the dog proceeds to build a model of the County courthouse out of dog biscuits, complete in every detail. They were all impressed, but the Tallahassee bureaucrat says watch this! Coffeebreak, show them up. So Coffeebreak tears up the disaster plan, wreaks the courthouse, eats all the dog biscuits, and runs off with the other dogs’ girlfriends. Needless to say, we all know whose dog won the bet.

[bragones]

That same horse previously walked into another bar. Bartender asks the horse “why the long face”������

[mntlblok]

I know a lot of these jokes. I think my sister told them to me when I was a kid. Does anyone know what kind of jokes these are? That is, is there a name for them? I don’t think it's Dad jokes.



Was about to claim them to be Shaggy Dog Stories, but decided to google to make sure. Oops. I *do* remember who told me that, though. . . [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story

I think "stow" works better than "store". :-) Love em all.

[mntlblok]

That same horse previously walked into another bar. Bartender asks the horse “why the long face”������

Very same bar to which the string returned after having tied himself up and roughed up his "running end". Bartender looked at him suspiciously and asked if he weren't that same piece of string that he'd recently ejected. "Nope. I'm a frayed knot".

[dtennent]

A guy gets sent to prison and on the first night, someone yells out a number and everyone starts to laugh. After this goes on for a while, the guy asks his cellmate what is going on. The cell mate replies that there is one joke book in the library which everyone has read. Instead of telling the joke, they just call out the number of their favorite joke. The next day the guy goes to the library, finds the book and picks out the number of a joke. That night when people are calling out numbers, he calls out his number. No body laughs. The guy asks his cell mate why? The cell mate replies "Some folks can tell a joke, others can't."

[Kenswing]

What are the three words you don’t want to hear when you’re making love?












Honey, I’m home.

[Bealman]

I didn't know Mr. Ed was around in those days!

[AMB444]

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle. I bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle might break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home...

LOL!! :1rotfl:

[Two Bills]

A guy was admitted to hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is stable.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

[bobmarc]

A guy tried to go into a bar with a Irishman, an Italian, a Scot, a Brit, a German, a Russian, a Chinaman, a Korean, a Pakistani, a Mexican and a Brazilian. The bouncer said, "sorry, you can't get in without a Thai".

[Stu from NYC]

I didn't know Mr. Ed was around in those days!

Its his great, great, great grandson Theodore.

[shaw8700@outlook.com]

A painter, who live in Great Britain
Interrupted two girls with their knitting
He said, with a sigh
That park bench - well I
Just painted it, right where you’re sitting