Creation of a TOTV Clique

[skyguy79]

As a followup to the "Rats and Alligators" topic, I am making a motion that all members of TOTV automatically become members of "The Clique!" Please cast you vote in this poll!

[Trish Crocker]

count me in! Since the meetings are at Crispers...could the meetings be called "Crispers Cliquers Club Coffee Klatch"?

[Figmo Bohica]

Count me in, but only if we spell it Clicker, since we are, after all, on the computers most of the time. LOL I voted for all of them as I could not make up my mind which one would be the best. Hey, I think I will run for congress.

Trish, have you tried to say that really fast five times. *S*

[skyguy79]

Count me in, but only if we spell it Clicker, since we are, after all, on the computers most of the time. LOL I voted for all of them as I could not make up my mind which one would be the best. Hey, I think I will run for congress. Hey, being that was one of the choices, why in the world would you vote for all four? .....Oh, never mind! I figured out that it's because your qualified to run for congress. :highfive:

[KathieI]

I really don't understand this thread??? Since when do we want to form a "clique" on TOTV?? If that had been the case back in '07, I never would have been accepted as a newbie here on totv... We have always kept our arms open to all new people as they come here to enjoy their retirement life, we have never turned our backs or made "newbies" to feel uncomfortable or not welcomed to join us. I really think this is the wrong attitude to take. To those who want to form a clique, so be it. I, for one, will never take that approach. When I have been in attendance at Crispers, we accept and welcome newbies and consider them immediately to be part of the family... Please explain to me why we would suddenly want to form a closed clique?? Doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding the entire message in this thread, but if I am, please explain. This is not a good reflection to any newcomers...

[pzjay]

I really don't understand this thread??? Since when do we want to form a "clique" on TOTV?? If that had been the case back in '07, I never would have been accepted as a newbie here on totv... We have always kept our arms open to all new people as they come here to enjoy their retirement life, we have never turned our backs or made "newbies" to feel uncomfortable or not welcomed to join us. I really think this is the wrong attitude to take. To those who want to form a clique, so be it. I, for one, will never take that approach. When I have been in attendance at Crispers, we accept and welcome newbies and consider them immediately to be part of the family... Please explain to me why we would suddenly want to form a closed clique?? Doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding the entire message in this thread, but if I am, please explain. This is not a good reflection to any newcomers...

Well said, kathieI. I also am kind of confused by this thread?
:confused:

[Bosoxfan]

Well said, kathieI. I also am kind of confused by this thread?
:confused:

Bravo!!!!!!ji:BigApplause:

[Trish Crocker]

chiloutThis is a joke!! I think it was in response to someone commenting about there being "cliques" on TOTV. If you analyze the choices, you'll realize they are all meant to be funny....there are no dues on TOTV. It's all done tongue in cheek and I thought it was quite amusing.

[ilovetv]

I really don't understand this thread??? Since when do we want to form a "clique" on TOTV?? If that had been the case back in '07, I never would have been accepted as a newbie here on totv... We have always kept our arms open to all new people as they come here to enjoy their retirement life, we have never turned our backs or made "newbies" to feel uncomfortable or not welcomed to join us. I really think this is the wrong attitude to take. To those who want to form a clique, so be it. I, for one, will never take that approach. When I have been in attendance at Crispers, we accept and welcome newbies and consider them immediately to be part of the family... Please explain to me why we would suddenly want to form a closed clique?? Doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding the entire message in this thread, but if I am, please explain. This is not a good reflection to any newcomers...

It's about Posts #111 and #153 in the Rats and Alligators thread......and how Tony the Moderator said on July 6 to "stop frisking people at the door and trying to run them off" by raising suspicion about posters' identity and implying their motives are nasty (for saying something is not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows here in TV). That was in the thread, "Everybody seems to love The Villages, I would like to hear what you hate..."

People in the Rats and Alligators thread sympathized with Patlyn, who says she's done with this board and will not come back, because her identity and motives were questioned and made to look suspicious for posting concerns about seeing more rats lately. A few others agreed that there is indeed a "clique" (Inner Circle) here.

I thought "frisking people at the door" described it well. Just because you know more about TV or don't like somebody's opinion does not mean they should be treated as "suspect" or shunned when posting a comment or question.

I'm going to duck now, because of incoming rotten tomatoes.

[Larry Wilson]

Kathie,
Thanks for being a truly wonderful person. I don't find this thread funny but I think it is an attempt to mock. The world is full of wonderful people and a few jerks. Guess its the same with this board.

[JAV0108]

I for one think that TOTV does not have cliques, BUT................I truly believe and have experienced cliques in so many areas of TV. Anything that I have tried to get into, I have had to be very persistent and keep going back to, even when my heart pounded and I could hardly breathe because I was so intimidated and felt like I was intruding on a group that was not welcoming and friendly. I have since found out that is exactly what I have to do, keep going back until my face becomes familiar to everyone. When I see a newbie in the different activities that I am into I practically run to them to make them feel welcome. There just is not a worse feeling than feeling like you are not welcome. I'm talking about, water volleyball, pickleball, different exercise classes, line dancing, and the list goes on. NO MORE CLIQUES PLEASE! That is the only part of TV that I HATE! Once in, your in, but getting there is so intimidating and difficult. Ok, thanks for listening and hearing me vent!!!!!!!!

[angiefox10]

Does this mean.... I'm not going to be able to do my secret handshake????:D

[ConeyIsBabe]

As an outsider who remains the everlasting wannabee ~~ I perceived this topic to be an attempt at humor... however, the word CLIQUE represents something less than funny !! There were cliques when we were in school and I'm sure there are cliques everywhere people get together in clubs, communities, classes, especially on internet forums. :D

Thank goodness for people like Kathie who graciously welcome newbies

:BigApplause:

[chuckinca]

CIB

Long time no see - welcome back.

Just noticed your comment about being with Bambi; we currently have a small herd eating the wife's roses, any recommendations about protecting the roses from the dears.

Thanks

Chuck

[skyguy79]

chiloutThis is a joke!! I think it was in response to someone commenting about there being "cliques" on TOTV. If you analyze the choices, you'll realize they are all meant to be funny....there are no dues on TOTV. It's all done tongue in cheek and I thought it was quite amusing.Thank you Trish! You hit the nail right on the head and did not join the "clique" of those who I feel unfairly criticized me when I was only exercising my humor by spoofing my distaste for cliques.

If people were reading the posts that led up to this poll and if they have been reading my many post over the past months since I joined TOTV, then I feel they should have realized that I'm not a clique type of person nor an advocate of cliques. If they haven't then I can somewhat understand their reaction to a degree.

I mostly try to inject humor in most of what I post and now I have doubts as to weither it's appreciated enough to continue. I'll let future reactions confirm or dispell those doubts!
http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/255074_2007225510969_1553617663_2158067_951906_s.j pg

[angiefox10]

Thank you Trish! You hit the nail right on the head and did not join the "clique" of those who I feel unfairly criticized me when I was only exercising my humor by spoofing my distaste for cliques.

If people were reading the posts that led up to this poll and if they have been reading my many post over the past months since I joined TOTV, then I feel they should have realized that I'm not a clique type of person nor an advocate of cliques. If they haven't then I can somewhat understand their reaction to a degree.

I mostly try to inject humor in most of what I post and now I have doubts as to weither it's appreciated enough to continue. I'll let future reactions confirm or dispell those doubts!
http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/255074_2007225510969_1553617663_2158067_951906_s.j pg


What you didn't think my response was funny??? Go back and read it again... Maybe you will get it if you read it a few times!! :cryin2:

[graciegirl]

I believe that there have been "invented" posters with made up personalities placed on this forum to engender posts and to stir the pot.

I think that it added a certain amount of posts because people would get all stirred up about it. I think the added posts were thought to add to the desirability of the forum and the added posts would be a magnet for advertisers.

When I see a post by a poster with very few posts that start something rather controversial, I become suspicious that it is a made up person.

There are also people who have been removed from this board for good reasons or bad that return with new names. I see no harm in that at all.

I personally do not see a clique if a clique means that a group of people know each other off of this forum and belittle and talk down about others. That is just plain mean. We have all felt left out at times and insecure at times and it does not feel nice at all.

I see a lot of funny and not so funny sarcasm that may or may not be taken wrong by people not seeing it was meant to be humorous.

There are VERY few unkind people who post here. This forum is mostly welcoming and caring and kind. We do have differing opinions on almost everything, but mostly I see people who post without putting others down.

We have far more serious things to worry about than cliques on this forum.

[angiefox10]

I believe that there have been "invented" posters with made up personalities placed on this forum to engender posts and to stir the pot.

I think that it added a certain amount of posts because people would get all stirred up about it. I think the added posts were thought to add to the desirability of the forum and the added posts would be a magnet for advertisers.

When I see a post by a poster with very few posts that start something rather controversial, I become suspicious that it is a made up person.

There are also people who have been removed from this board for good reasons or bad that return with new names. I see no harm in that at all.

I personally do not see a clique if a clique means that a group of people know each other off of this forum and belittle and talk down about others. That is just plain mean. We have all felt left out at times and insecure at times and it does not feel nice at all.

I see a lot of funny and not so funny sarcasm that may or may not be taken wrong by people not seeing it was meant to be humorous.

There are VERY few unkind people who post here. This forum is mostly welcoming and caring and kind. We do have differing opinions on almost everything, but mostly I see people who post without putting others down.

We have far more serious things to worry about than cliques on this forum.


:agree:

[gmcneill]

[QUOTE=skyguy79;377359]Thank you Trish! You hit the nail right on the head and did not join the "clique" of those who I feel unfairly criticized me when I was only exercising my humor by spoofing my distaste for cliques.

If people were reading the posts that led up to this poll and if they have been reading my many post over the past months since I joined TOTV, then I feel they should have realized that I'm not a clique type of person nor an advocate of cliques. If they haven't then I can somewhat understand their reaction to a degree.

I mostly try to inject humor in most of what I post and now I have doubts as to weither it's appreciated enough to continue. I'll let future reactions confirm or dispell those doubts!

Skyguy:

I also understood your spoof and appreciated your humor. Apparently, this particular spoof hit a nerve of many TOTVers, a nerve that I am confident you did not intend coming anywhere near.

That said, it is logical and understandable that anyone who has felt the sting of being shunned by a group for no apparent reason would react negatively to the work "clique".

Your self-assessment is on-target. You entertain and educate far more often than you ever offend.

Don't back off bc one attempt at humor wasn't well received by some folks.
Oh well. You tried.

Your spoof was based on a good concept that was undone by a painful word to some. Even the best professional comedians and pundits have a bad joke or two along the way.

Get back on that horse! Ride tall. :thumbup:

[gmcneill]

What you didn't think my response was funny??? Go back and read it again... Maybe you will get it if you read it a few times!! :cryin2:

Angie:

Of course your post was funny. I'm guessing that Skyguy wasn't referring to you.

Now, about that secret handshake... ;)

[Barefoot]

.

[gmcneill]

Somehow I missed all of the drama contained in the Rats and Alligators post, and the spillover of emotions to this post.

A lot of pain and anger being expressed by more than one of us. That indicates to me that something negative is being conveyed through threads and posts, whether intended by the writer, or not.

The written word often fails to accurately convey intonation and connation of the writer. Consequently, a reader may easily wrongly infer or interpret a writer's message.

Forums, given the prevalence of the informal writing style and the anonimity of the writers who employ that style, provide an environment in which reader's inferences clash with writer's implications, often culminating in heated confrontations and personal insults.

Moving on....my position regarding cliques is accurately summed up by paraphrasing Groucho:

I wouldn't want to join a clique that would include me as a member.

[skyguy79]

What you didn't think my response was funny??? Go back and read it again... Maybe you will get it if you read it a few times!! :cryin2:Angie, you have Personal Msg!

[Trish Crocker]

I'm really not getting any of this. Why is there so much sensitivity and hurt feelings? It is clearly a joke. I thought I was talking with a bunch of people that just wanted to express their pleasure with living in TV...now it's getting to be like high school. Do we really have to be that careful of everything we post? I didn't, at any time, see anyone insulting or ridiculing anyone. Think I may go back to just lurking...I'm getting paranoid about posting.

[Russ_Boston]

See my comment about the clique in the Rats thread (a response to Larry). It says it all for me.

[kandj]

As a followup to the "Rats and Alligators" topic, I am making a motion that all members of TOTV automatically become members of "The Clique!" Please cast you vote in this poll!

Love your sense of humor Skyguy! Can't wait to meet you.

Kim

[eweissenbach]

The written word often fails to accurately convey intonation and connation of the writer. Consequently, a reader may easily wrongly infer or interpret a writer's message.

Forums, given the prevalence of the informal writing style and the anonimity of the writers who employ that style, provide an environment in which reader's inferences clash with writer's implications, often culminating in heated confrontations and personal insults.



I have found that sarcasm and satire do not translate well to message boards. I have been taken wrong on a few occaisions when I attempted to inject my rather sarcastic sense of humor on various message boards, including this one. Just last week I upset Pturner, who is one of my favorites, when I tried to be "funny", and did not intend to imply anything hurtful or insulting. Usually, when you use that form of give and take with people you know, they understand where it is coming from and enjoy it. People that don't appreciate it, or who you are unsure would appreciate it--- you don't use it with them. On a message board you will invariably have both kinds, and it is often hard to interpret the context. BTW, Skyguy is a good poster and mostly a funny and wise contributor.

[ilovetv]

This is what it boils down to....the second part of what Tony the Moderator said on July 6:

"The forum is open to everyone and we have not appointed any gate keepers."


He didn't mention "appointed gatekeepers" for no reason. Some do take it upon themselves to "control" and "inspect" those who enter.

[Barefoot]

I'm really not getting any of this. Why is there so much sensitivity and hurt feelings? It is clearly a joke. I thought I was talking with a bunch of people that just wanted to express their pleasure with living in TV...now it's getting to be like high school. Do we really have to be that careful of everything we post? I didn't, at any time, see anyone insulting or ridiculing anyone. Think I may go back to just lurking...I'm getting paranoid about posting.

Trish, you are right, it is clearly a joke to have 18,000 people in a clique. Yet the word clique is sensitive to some people. Over the past four years, there have been posters who feel there is an "inner circle" and "in jokes" on TOTV and they're not feeling part of it. No need to be paranoid, it's just posters expressing their feelings.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by skyguy79 https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/showthread.php?p=377270#post377270)
As a followup to the "Rats and Alligators" topic, I am making a motion that all members of TOTV automatically become members of "The Clique!" Please cast you vote in this poll!


Love your sense of humor Skyguy! Can't wait to meet you.

KimThank you Kim! I can't wait to meet you too. Someday at Crispers perhaps!

With what you quoted, I was reminded what was on my mind as the serious message that I started out to make it through the use of humor. It was the part that says "I am making a motion that all members of TOTV automatically become members of "The Clique!"

That statement was honestly meant to convey or suggest that if ALL members of TOTV were part of the so called clique, then there would in reality be no such clicque since no one would be left out and there could be no such clique!

Did I go over peoples heads? Perhaps! But I hope this clearifies my thoughts and where I was coming from in the first place! I've experienced being on the outside of cliques my entire adult life and probably more so than most because of weight problems and physical limitations, but I rarely complain about that. I don't like clicques, never have! But at the same time, I don't let them upset me or get to me the way some others do!

I hope people will understand me now and I get no more indirect, thinly veiled implications that I'm one of the "TOTV" jerks as one person rudely did!

Again, thanks for your comments Kim!

[tippyclubb]

:smiley:I'm really not getting any of this. Why is there so much sensitivity and hurt feelings? It is clearly a joke. I thought I was talking with a bunch of people that just wanted to express their pleasure with living in TV...now it's getting to be like high school. Do we really have to be that careful of everything we post? I didn't, at any time, see anyone insulting or ridiculing anyone. Think I may go back to just lurking...I'm getting paranoid about posting.


Trish please don't go back to lurking as I enjoy your post and sense of humor and I'm sure others do too. I too took it as a joke but obviously the word clique is upsetting to some and understandably so.

It seems no matter where you go in social situations there are always going to be cliques, that is just the way life is. I have ran across cliques countless times throughout life. Most times I am able to join the clique if I choose too. The question becomes which group of people do I want to be friends with. Who do I enjoy being with the most and share the same interest I do. When you think of it that way its not really a clique, rather a group of people you choose to associate with.

As for the forum and the sensitivity on this subject and many other topics, that is normal. Anytime you have a lot of people they will have different opinions and that is okay too.

Keep posting and being you ! :smiley:

[Schaumburger]

:smiley:


Trish please don't go back to lurking as I enjoy your post and sense of humor and I'm sure others do too. I too took it as a joke but obviously the word clique is upsetting to some and understandably so.

It seems no matter where you go in social situations there are always going to be cliques, that is just the way life is. I have ran across cliques countless times throughout life. Most times I am able to join the clique if I choose too. The question becomes which group of people do I want to be friends with. Who do I enjoy being with the most and share the same interest I do. When you think of it that way its not really a clique, rather a group of people you choose to associate with.

As for the forum and the sensitivity on this subject and many other topics, that is normal. Anytime you have a lot of people they will have different opinions and that is okay too.

Keep posting and being you ! :smiley:

Trish, I agree with TippyClubb. :agree: And I enjoy reading everyone's posts on TOTV.

[graciegirl]

Trish. Your kindness and warmth belong here and tippyclubb your good common sense is needed and helpful to all of us.

I will be so grateful to hear more of what you both have to say on any subject.

Kindest wishes,

Gracie

[senior citizen]

it's about posts #111 and #153 in the rats and alligators thread......and how tony the moderator said on july 6 to "stop frisking people at the door and trying to run them off" by raising suspicion about posters' identity and implying their motives are nasty (for saying something is not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows here in tv). That was in the thread, "everybody seems to love the villages, i would like to hear what you hate..."

people in the rats and alligators thread sympathized with patlyn, who says she's done with this board and will not come back, because her identity and motives were questioned and made to look suspicious for posting concerns about seeing more rats lately. A few others agreed that there is indeed a "clique" (inner circle) here.

I thought "frisking people at the door" described it well. Just because you know more about tv or don't like somebody's opinion does not mean they should be treated as "suspect" or shunned when posting a comment or question.

I'm going to duck now, because of incoming rotten tomatoes.


very very very well said.............

[momesu]

Hmmmm....as one who was always on the outside of the inner circle as a child, teen, and young adult.....probably as even a middle adult I am finally getting used to my seat out here in left field.....it's kind of cozy watching everyone else compete.....the only thing is I need some popcorn or ice cream every now and then to stay happy. Unfortunately I sometimes think my quirky sense of humor is what has put me in left field.....some people just don't get it and in my humble opinion just don't know how to relax and not take life, themselves or others so seriously....that all said I love reading peoples opinions and thoughts here on TOTV. I also love a lot of the humor I see here. Keep it up and I hope one day to meet many of you in person.

Now as to that clique.....I'm not sure I would now how to behave if I was inside that inner circle.....could someone teach me????

Suzanne

[Bill-n-Brillo]

.....the only thing is I need some popcorn or ice cream every now and then to stay happy. .....

Here ya go!! :popcorn: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTbc-1kepz8yTEXUkzQjllBE-N6yg0KFwkCac1WCbWDzpjSK5_O

:thumbup:

Bill :)

[skyguy79]

Here ya go!! :popcorn: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTbc-1kepz8yTEXUkzQjllBE-N6yg0KFwkCac1WCbWDzpjSK5_O

:thumbup:

Bill :)With your supply of popcorn, you only gave ice cream? Sheeze!!!
http://www.pollsb.com/photos/40/35716-making_accidental_noises_farting_snorting_etc_publ ic.jpg

[momesu]

Here ya go!! :popcorn: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTbc-1kepz8yTEXUkzQjllBE-N6yg0KFwkCac1WCbWDzpjSK5_O

:thumbup:

Bill :)

ohhhhh thanks! He's so cute!

Suzanne

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Here ya go!! :popcorn: http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTbc-1kepz8yTEXUkzQjllBE-N6yg0KFwkCac1WCbWDzpjSK5_O

:thumbup:

Bill :)

With your supply of popcorn, you only gave ice cream? Sheeze!!!
http://www.pollsb.com/photos/40/35716-making_accidental_noises_farting_snorting_etc_publ ic.jpg

Hey skyguy - you overlooked the little popcorn guy!! See above.

Suzanne - Glad you liked it! :D

Bill :)

[ssmith]

Just a quick thought, you mentioned that there are many cliques at events there in TV. Is that unusual. I guess what I mean is that I have moved often and find it takes some time to break into the crowd of regulars....not that they exclude on purpose but just don't go over board to include newbes. Is that the case there? Seems you have persevered. Also wonder if this is more prevalent if you live in a very long established neighborhood?

[JAV0108]

Just a quick thought, you mentioned that there are many cliques at events there in TV. Is that unusual. I guess what I mean is that I have moved often and find it takes some time to break into the crowd of regulars....not that they exclude on purpose but just don't go over board to include newbes. Is that the case there? Seems you have persevered. Also wonder if this is more prevalent if you live in a very long established neighborhood?

After going back and re-reading EVERYTHING on how this all got started I feel like I overstepped my bounds with my vent. Sorry about that, didn't mean to cause negativity. I love TV and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Although I do not post very often and am mainly a "lurker" I am real and not a trouble maker on TOTV. Everyone is right, there are cliques everywhere and I have come so very far regarding being strong and persevering in my endeavors into all the activities I want to get involved in. I have even started to control my over sensitivity. That is a whole different story!!!!!!

[rubicon]

After going back and re-reading EVERYTHING on how this all got started I feel like I overstepped my bounds with my vent. Sorry about that, didn't mean to cause negativity. I love TV and wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Although I do not post very often and am mainly a "lurker" I am real and not a trouble maker on TOTV. Everyone is right, there are cliques everywhere and I have come so very far regarding being strong and persevering in my endeavors into all the activities I want to get involved in. I have even started to control my over sensitivity. That is a whole different story!!!!!!

I am from the Minneapolis MN area and you haven't overstepped anything. As you know the only cliques in Minnesota are the DFLers and the Republicans...the rest of Minnesota is one big happy family and very inclusive
that is why they refer to it as " being Minnesota Nice.":D

So from one of those Minnesota Nice people cliques by definition exclude people. I am still reeling from cliques that kept me at bay in high school.
I" I never met a person I didn't like.":thumbup:


The End

[angiefox10]

A clique , is an inclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. A clique as a reference group can be either normative or comparative. ...

Everyone says it like it's a bad thing. It's not good or bad...It just is.

First I think EVERYONE KNOWS that Sky was trying to be funny with this post by now.

Regardless... My life is nothing but cliques. I have my dog group, I have my girlie girl group, I have my work group, I have my book group and so on. I doubt if everyone will fit into all if any of my "cliques". Why would you want to! I belong to a lot of "cliques" as do most of you. I'm not very good at belonging to one "clique" so don't try to make me!:D

Most of us have been here long enough to know who is who. Sky, Bill, Pturner are the funny ones, gracie is the gentle soul with the kind word (while she can be funny as well) , Kathi (don't know how she has her name) is the gatherer, she brings everyone together... I think you see what I mean. We all have our different personalities. We aren't going to all fit in each others groups.

It's not meant to be mean...

For example, after this post started, I reached out to several of you in a PM offering friendship. Know what??? Not one person responded. I'm not offended (to be honest, I totally understand, but that's another thread) but to my point... You clearly didn't want me in you Clique while you complained that you yourself were left out. We are all left out of a group at one time or another... Why would you even want to be in a group that would doesn't want you.

There are people on here that are trying to cause trouble. That BTW was why Gracie questioned someone identity because she caught it. Don't be fooled by the posters who come on here only when something like this gets started and takes your side... But is NEVER here when we are all getting along! They don't care about you, they are just playing with you...

Well... I've put in my 2 cents for today... after the market crash... maybe 1 cent.

Now... can we talk about that handshake????:D

[tippyclubb]

angiefox your words were eloquently stated and so very true.

[Pturner]

Just a quick thought, you mentioned that there are many cliques at events there in TV. Is that unusual. I guess what I mean is that I have moved often and find it takes some time to break into the crowd of regulars....not that they exclude on purpose but just don't go over board to include newbes. Is that the case there? Seems you have persevered. Also wonder if this is more prevalent if you live in a very long established neighborhood?

Hi SSmith,
My sense is that it is rare here. The other side of the story needs telling:

Shortly after we purchased in an established neighborhood (Springdale), we visited the neighborhood pool. Everyone we spoke to there was welcoming, telling us about clubs we might enjoy, etc. One couple mentioned that they were dining that evening at one of their favorite restaurants and invited us to join them!

Just yesterday I took a water aerobics class for the first time. It was crowded and hard to see the instructor. A woman who had been going to this class for four years helped show me how to do certain things if I struggled. She was so nice and assured me that she was new once too. I didn't own some optional equipment and another women told me she never uses hers anymore, so could have it. After the class, a few more women introduced themselves and welcomed me. It was amazing. I cannot wait until I can pay it forward!

And then there is the incomparable KathieI. When we first moved here she organized 2 meet and greet lunches for me. I met and have continued to meet the nicest people here.

Perhaps there are cliques here, but I haven't found them yet. We're seniors for crying out loud. Cliques are for kids. Oh wait... that was Tricks. :D

[ConeyIsBabe]

CIB

Long time no see - welcome back.

Just noticed your comment about being with Bambi; we currently have a small herd eating the wife's roses, any recommendations about protecting the roses from the dears.

Thanks

Chuck

Chuck~
Bambi loves roses ~~ the only way I know to keep deer out of the garden is to fence-it-in with "deer fence", which I have around my rose garden. Otherwise they get into everything. They're very cute, but carry deer ticks so that's not a good thing!

[Russ_Boston]

Just a quick thought, you mentioned that there are many cliques at events there in TV. Is that unusual. I guess what I mean is that I have moved often and find it takes some time to break into the crowd of regulars....not that they exclude on purpose but just don't go over board to include newbes. Is that the case there? Seems you have persevered. Also wonder if this is more prevalent if you live in a very long established neighborhood?

CIB - There are a couple of relatively new posters who are already part of this fictitious inner circle. They are already FB friends as well. Gracie, Kathie, Red, SamHass, Katezbox, Pturner, Rhonda (remember her?) and many others I wish I had the time to list have all held meet and greets in person for newbies when they visit. These people are gracious beyond belief. They all came out to meet me in 2007 soon after I joined the forum. I had four lunches with new friends when we came to our house in May.

Please newbies don't listen to this jibber/jabber about cliques and inner circles. It's like Nessy, it doesn't exist.

[Schaumburger]

A clique , is an inclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. A clique as a reference group can be either normative or comparative. ...

Everyone says it like it's a bad thing. It's not good or bad...It just is.

First I think EVERYONE KNOWS that Sky was trying to be funny with this post by now.

Regardless... My life is nothing but cliques. I have my dog group, I have my girlie girl group, I have my work group, I have my book group and so on. I doubt if everyone will fit into all if any of my "cliques". Why would you want to! I belong to a lot of "cliques" as do most of you. I'm not very good at belonging to one "clique" so don't try to make me!:D

Most of us have been here long enough to know who is who. Sky, Bill, Pturner are the funny ones, gracie is the gentle soul with the kind word (while she can be funny as well) , Kathi (don't know how she has her name) is the gatherer, she brings everyone together... I think you see what I mean. We all have our different personalities. We aren't going to all fit in each others groups.

It's not meant to be mean...

For example, after this post started, I reached out to several of you in a PM offering friendship. Know what??? Not one person responded. I'm not offended (to be honest, I totally understand, but that's another thread) but to my point... You clearly didn't want me in you Clique while you complained that you yourself were left out. We are all left out of a group at one time or another... Why would you even want to be in a group that would doesn't want you.

There are people on here that are trying to cause trouble. That BTW was why Gracie questioned someone identity because she caught it. Don't be fooled by the posters who come on here only when something like this gets started and takes your side... But is NEVER here when we are all getting along! They don't care about you, they are just playing with you...

Well... I've put in my 2 cents for today... after the market crash... maybe 1 cent.
Now... can we talk about that handshake????:D

Angie -- you have one cent. . . after today I have 1/2 of one cent :( . This better not delay my eventual move to TV. I may have to vote Republican next year. . .please don't move this to the political forum.

[Schaumburger]

Pturner -- what a nice uplifting post! Thank you for posting this.

[graciegirl]

All these posts are making ME feel a whole lot better. I know that almost everyone I know well tries so hard to make newcomers feel welcome, not only on here, but of course in the reality of day to day living in The Villages.

It seems that the people who post positively most of the time...We can't all be positive about everything, those are the ones who come to the meetings at Crispers that Kathie and all of the rest have arranged over the years, and the other meetings not at Crispers times that many people have tried to do to catch the ones who are new and won't be here at Crispers time.

The "smile-ier" folks come to places where they can meet people in person and arrange to meet others in person on their own.

I have NEVER EVER met any of the more consistently negative posters in person. Makes me wonder if they are the "T" word. Don't cha know.

There are some PILLS among us, and we all have PILL days and sometimes the printed word just doesn't show our true intentions.

Please any of you who have any reservations, please come here and see how friendly this beautiful place is.

AND I don't work for the developer.

Gracie. Who tries to be nice, and sometimes fails.

[kofficer]

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

[graciegirl]

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

It is, It is, IT IS!

This thead was meant to be a joke.

There has been a full moon or somethin' going on around here. Just read the last few posts just before the one you just made.

You will love it here. Drive over soon and see it one more time.

NO, I don't work for the developer. I don't work at all.

[ilovetv]

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

Lee, while I like reading TOTV to find out various things like tried and true service providers (home improvement, handymen, painters, etc.) and retail/restaurant reviews, a few negative posters here on TOTV are not representative of the whole of TV nor is it representative of your new TV neighborhood nor the people who gather at the recreation facilities/activities for a given sport or activity. We bought a CYV in a 3-year-old neighborhood, and as soon as we looked at the CYV the second time, all our neighbors came over to say hi and welcome us into the neighborhood. We are still amazed at how we soon had more friends after several weeks of owning our place and not even living full-time here yet, than we had after years in our last place in the midwest.

We are constantly busy with a full social calendar of things to do with our neighbors, their friends, friends of friends, people we meet at the town squares in the evening, and friends in our home state clubs,etc. Everywhere we go in TV, people are extremely friendly and welcoming. It's only about once in 4 months that we encounter a person who does not want to talk and be friendly (or acts like you have no right to start a conversation with them...seeming downright rude), but we figure that is because they come from a place where people simply do not "neighbor" or they're just bitter and "who needs 'em anyway?".

PTurner's post above about being new to the water aerobics class is pretty typical, I'd say, about joining in on recreation and other activities. Let's face it.....most of us are parents and we women, especially, are used to caring for others and we remember what it was like being "the new kid in school" or moving and taking our own kids to a new sports team or whatever practice. And.......

We all remember what it was like stepping up to the golf tee after having only a few beginner lessons/clinics, and not wanting to look like a total moron (which in golf....can last for the next 30 years.....looked like a moron teeing off just yesterday!)

As for this "clique" thing being discussed here, I think it has more to do with identities of posters and those of us who do not want to put our personal information and identity out here. Unknown identities here sometimes get questioned.....but there are good reasons to remain anonymous.

Many of us are not retired yet, and are employed or looking for a job, and we do not want our opinions--especially the political ones--scrutinized by our boss or potential employer who is vindictive. (I've had very few bosses who are NOT vindictive.) It's very easy to google somebody and read about them if you are an employer ready to hire somebody, and for years now, there have been advisories in business journals about "mining companies" that gather dirt about a person online in social networking sites, and then that information is kept in databases for paid background checking.

I can't imagine for even 2 seconds putting my picture and name, etc. here, and I don't like Facebook for that reason either, even though a person can keep their info as closed and private as they want. There are always hackers and break-ins to Facebook pages. Just the other day, I got a private message from a Facebook friend (or at least the hacker USED my FB friend's account), and the thing was so full x-rated filth that I wanted to vomit. I reported it to FB and closed off my info and privacy settings even more.

If I were you, I would rely on what I see in the actual neighborhood where I'm considering buying...go for a walk there in the evening or early morning, and talk to people who are out talking in the driveways, walking their dog etc. Also, go to the neighborhood pools and just lounge for awhile....that is one of the best places to meet people! I think most people like to meet the new people moving in, and it's interesting to learn about the experiences of people moving here from so many varying places.

[kofficer]

Thank you to both you and Gracie for your posts. We are actually coming up tomorrow for a full week, and then for the rest of the weekends in August, so we can really go to the rec centers and the neighborhood pools, etc. We plan on going to every open house we can find, to get a "real" look at the kind of things we have been looking at pics of on the internet. This is our fifth trip and we are probably going to have our house sold by next spring. We are going to buy as soon as we find that "wonderful" home, and live in a small apartment here until we retire for good in 2013 (as least I will). My husband may work a couple more years remotely from the Villages. We get nervous when we see these posts about it being so hard to become a part of things, because it's high on our list of reasons for coming . . . we've worked odd hours all our lives, and now it is going to be time to be social and meet people. We have looked at ALL the other developments in Florida, I think, and NONE can offer us what the Villages can. The convenience of doctors, hospital, restaurants, shopping, Spanish Springs, Katie Bells (visited for lunch on life style visit and stayed all afternoon listening to the wonderful singer); LSL (my favorite place, I think). We were up for the pro-am bowling tournament in April, we are avid bowlers, another reason to come, and on and on. Finding it hard not to buy our home now and start enjoying, but two mortgages does not appeal to my hubby!!

Thanks for your reassuring posts.

Lee and Richard in Tampa.

[angiefox10]

It is, It is, IT IS!

This thead was meant to be a joke.

There has been a full moon or somethin' going on around here. Just read the last few posts just before the one you just made.

You will love it here. Drive over soon and see it one more time.

NO, I don't work for the developer. I don't work at all.

Lee, while I like reading TOTV to find out various things like tried and true service providers (home improvement, handymen, painters, etc.) and retail/restaurant reviews, a few negative posters here on TOTV are not representative of the whole of TV nor is it representative of your new TV neighborhood nor the people who gather at the recreation facilities/activities for a given sport or activity. We bought a CYV in a 3-year-old neighborhood, and as soon as we looked at the CYV the second time, all our neighbors came over to say hi and welcome us into the neighborhood. We are still amazed at how we soon had more friends after several weeks of owning our place and not even living full-time here yet, than we had after years in our last place in the midwest.

We are constantly busy with a full social calendar of things to do with our neighbors, their friends, friends of friends, people we meet at the town squares in the evening, and friends in our home state clubs,etc. Everywhere we go in TV, people are extremely friendly and welcoming. It's only about once in 4 months that we encounter a person who does not want to talk and be friendly (or acts like you have no right to start a conversation with them...seeming downright rude), but we figure that is because they come from a place where people simply do not "neighbor" or they're just bitter and "who needs 'em anyway?".

PTurner's post above about being new to the water aerobics class is pretty typical, I'd say, about joining in on recreation and other activities. Let's face it.....most of us are parents and we women, especially, are used to caring for others and we remember what it was like being "the new kid in school" or moving and taking our own kids to a new sports team or whatever practice. And.......

We all remember what it was like stepping up to the golf tee after having only a few beginner lessons/clinics, and not wanting to look like a total moron (which in golf....can last for the next 30 years.....looked like a moron teeing off just yesterday!)

As for this "clique" thing being discussed here, I think it has more to do with identities of posters and those of us who do not want to put our personal information and identity out here. Unknown identities here sometimes get questioned.....but there are good reasons to remain anonymous.

Many of us are not retired yet, and are employed or looking for a job, and we do not want our opinions--especially the political ones--scrutinized by our boss or potential employer who is vindictive. (I've had very few bosses who are NOT vindictive.) It's very easy to google somebody and read about them if you are an employer ready to hire somebody, and for years now, there have been advisories in business journals about "mining companies" that gather dirt about a person online in social networking sites, and then that information is kept in databases for paid background checking.

I can't imagine for even 2 seconds putting my picture and name, etc. here, and I don't like Facebook for that reason either, even though a person can keep their info as closed and private as they want. There are always hackers and break-ins to Facebook pages. Just the other day, I got a private message from a Facebook friend (or at least the hacker USED my FB friend's account), and the thing was so full x-rated filth that I wanted to vomit. I reported it to FB and closed off my info and privacy settings even more.

If I were you, I would rely on what I see in the actual neighborhood where I'm considering buying...go for a walk there in the evening or early morning, and talk to people who are out talking in the driveways, walking their dog etc. Also, go to the neighborhood pools and just lounge for awhile....that is one of the best places to meet people! I think most people like to meet the new people moving in, and it's interesting to learn about the experiences of people moving here from so many varying places.


:BigApplause::BigApplause::BigApplause::BigApplaus e:

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

I love The Villages - nuff said!!!:thumbup:

[ilovetv]

.....We have looked at ALL the other developments in Florida, I think, and NONE can offer us what the Villages can. The convenience of doctors, hospital, restaurants, shopping, Spanish Springs, Katie Bells (visited for lunch on life style visit and stayed all afternoon listening to the wonderful singer); LSL (my favorite place, I think). We were up for the pro-am bowling tournament in April, we are avid bowlers, another reason to come, and on and on. Finding it hard not to buy our home now and start enjoying, but two mortgages does not appeal to my hubby!!

Thanks for your reassuring posts.

Lee and Richard in Tampa.

You are on your way! Just think "Forward....Forward...Forward"!

[Larry Wilson]

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.

[skyguy79]

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.
I cannot and will not say you haven't experienced what you have stated nor will I criticize what you have stated in this post. I agree with parts of your post and I disagree with others, but I emphasize that this is normal in any social forums.

However, what I will state is that I have been on TOTV only one or two months less than you have and have posted considerably more, but have not experienced what you state you have. I've been counseled by the admins more than once and suspended without reason or explaination, but looked at it as positive feedback!

I've made several friends and had many positive feedbacks on my posts, both open and private with nearly no negative reactions. I've only met a few TOTV members in person and no more than once for any of them. I've been made happy at times and aggrivated at others, but have rarely complained even when it was warranted to do so.

With that being said, I can't help but wonder why I have not even come close to experiencing what you have expressed when I have been at least four times more active than you. There must be a reason for that, but I do ask others out there NOT to offer me any negative answers in response to that! If you must respond, then please do it through a PM. It's NOT my intention to attack Mr. Wilson or influence others to so. He has as much right to express himself as any of us do and I do look forward to injoying his positive contributions to this forum as much as anybody elses!

[GeorgeT]

I cannot and will not say you haven't experienced what you have stated nor will I criticize what you have stated in this post. I agree with parts of your post and I disagree with others, but I emphasize that this is normal in any social forums.

However, what I will state is that I have been on TOTV only one or two months less than you have and have posted considerably more, but have not experienced what you state you have. I've been counseled by the admins more than once and suspended without reason or explaination, but looked at it as positive feedback!

I've made several friends and had many positive feedbacks on my posts, both open and private with nearly no negative reactions. I've only met a few TOTV members in person and no more than once for any of them. I've been made happy at times and aggrivated at others, but have rarely complained even when it was warranted to do so.

With that being said, I can't help but wonder why I have not even come close to experiencing what you have expressed when I have been at least four times more active than you. There must be a reason for that, but I do ask others out there NOT to offer me any negative answers in response to that! If you must respond, then please do it through a PM. It's NOT my intention to attack Mr. Wilson or influence others to so. He has as much right to express himself as any of us do and I do look forward to injoying his positive contributions to this forum as much as anybody elses!

Something I have learned is when a person says "I cannot and will not say....." They have already said it. Just my opinion.

Not really sure what your point is either.

[graciegirl]

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.

Larry. I have sent you a P.M. asking you to share where it was that I mocked you. (This is the SECOND time you have said that) I stood for Russ when you and he were fussing about baseball try outs.

I said something like...I think the world of you Russ. But I didn't say anything that I remember that was mocking and if I did I owe you an apology.

I just went back and read pages of my posts, and heavens knows I post a lot...and the only thing I can find is that post where I said I just love ya Russ Boston...in the middle of your disagreement with him about softball try-outs. I really believe that you have me mixed up with someone else in your mind.

After I sent the P.M. I decided to ask you what I said that was mocking.

I have feelings too. But, I am often wrong and if I am I owe you an apology.

Gracie

[villagegolfer]

Gracie, I don't think you owe him anything. Just saying, that's all.

[Russ_Boston]

Didn't think I need to say it Larry but yes I can make friends outside of TOTV. Has happened and will happen even more after I move perm (in January I think). Maybe we could be friends.

[skyguy79]

Something I have learned is when a person says "I cannot and will not say....." They have already said it. Just my opinion.

Not really sure what your point is either.You're probably right George. I just "might" have told someone something similar in the past to indicate that I won't doubt them or flame them because of what they stated! I don't specifically remember if I have, but I just might have! On the other hand, if I misunderstood exactly what you mean't by your opinion, then I guess it's a case of not getting your point.

As for your not getting "my" point, well I don't get what it is that you don't get and even if I did I'm not sure I would even be able to explain whatever it is so that those who do not get it would get it. I guess that we'll just have to agree that we don't get each other!

[pooh]

Skyguy,

I thought your poll was funny and not meant to be malicious. Heck, we all have some people we just click with, some posters posts we enjoy more than others and that's how it is here and throughout cyberspace.

When anyone new moves into an area, they are the new guy and sometimes it takes a while for those of any particular group to "share" with the newbie. It's not unique to the message board, to this community...it's like that everywhere. When we all lived in our various communities before this one, that same issue, being the new guy, was something that had to be dealt with and it was. We all have friends in our former communities...and it took a while. Might just take some time, here, too.

Generally, I've found that people will be generous and giving to new comers, though I'm sure there are some who could be more guarded when it comes to being outgoing and giving. Things could change with them...we have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Soon, they could be offering help to the new guy/gal and be happy doing so.

I didn't respond earlier because I was at the supermarket watching tomatoes ripen beyond belief.... :D

[Taj44]

It seems that Skyguy posted this poll as a joke, but opinions will vary as to whether or not there is really a clique, simply by its definition. You can say a clique is a group of people with similiar interests, but in the context it has been generally used, clique implies exclusivity i.e. not all are included. There have been instances on this forum for example, where one of the regulars posts something, and if someone disagrees, other computer friends of that person go on to back up their friend. I always laugh about it and think "there they go again, circling the wagons". And interestingly enough, a few times people I've never even met have pm'd me and said the same thing, so I guess I'm not the only one noticing it. I've seen posters attacked in various threads, accused of being someone else, accused of being an infiltrator, of not living in The Villages, of trying to sabotage the Villages simply because they state something they saw, something they experienced, or just voice a concern. The IRS thread really brought some of that out. People that have legitimate concerns have been lambasted as though they were un-American. You won't see a lot of those negative posts because many of them have been deleted by the Administrators. But time after time, the same group of people jump on and pat each other on the back or pick on some unlucky poster who made the mistake of posting something the group disagreed with. Clique? You can call it what you want, but I personally wish people would stop with the accusations and name calling, and learn to play more nicely. Everyone is entitled to respect.

[skyguy79]

Skyguy,

I thought your poll was funny and not meant to be malicious. Heck, we all have some people we just click with, some posters posts we enjoy more than others and that's how it is here and throughout cyberspace.

When anyone new moves into an area, they are the new guy and sometimes it takes a while for those of any particular group to "share" with the newbie. It's not unique to the message board, to this community...it's like that everywhere. When we all lived in our various communities before this one, that same issue, being the new guy, was something that had to be dealt with and it was. We all have friends in our former communities...and it took a while. Might just take some time, here, too.

Generally, I've found that people will be generous and giving to new comers, though I'm sure there are some who could be more guarded when it comes to being outgoing and giving. Things could change with them...we have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Soon, they could be offering help to the new guy/gal and be happy doing so.

I didn't respond earlier because I was at the supermarket watching tomatoes ripen beyond belief.... :DPooh, I hear what you're saying, especially about "new guys." When I joined I spent several weeks just lurking trying to familiarize myself with some members of the forum.

When I began posting I noticed that the doors of acceptance were not opening right away. At the same time I realized that this was the natrure of things... you know... caution by some folks who don't know you and don't open up to you until they get a feel for who you are and what your personality is. With some patience and understanding the doors started to slowly open and they still are quite nicely.

Unfortunately, a very few join do so with ill intent or with the idea that everybody's arms are and should be wide open, but thankfully that's not the nature of most new people. With the latter, if they meet up with a few that are not so open and ready to send out the welcome wagon, they sometimes feel hurt and take it personally, and without realizing it, put up a foot and act like a member of a swat team, proceeding to attempt to break down the door without having enough patience for acceptance to occur naturally. Wrong move! It only results in bad feeling and manifests itself in reactions that they don't expect, and as such, interpet as unfriendly.

Anyway, most anyone can be accepted by others and feel like they're welcome if they are patient and don't push. However, display a negative or pushy personality, then it becomes hard for them to ever be accepted. (Note that there are NO individuals, intended or implied, in what I just stated) I have noticed though that here on TOTV that many veterans of the forum can bring themselves above all that and be warm and welcoming! And that's a feather in their cap!

[angiefox10]

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

[FMF Doc]

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

Keep changing cereals till you find the one with the secret decoder ring.

:D:D:D:D

[pooh]

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

No handshake, but an anthem.... :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-h4D-wSak

[graciegirl]

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

If you get to know it first will you show me?

But I will go and tell everybody...just so you know.

This place is meant for sharing.

It makes me sad to think that even one person who thinks they might want to live here could be turned off and turned away by any of the behavior seen on this forum in the last couple of days.

No, we aren't perfect here. But we are grown ups and I would bet that every single one of us has had our share of pain, sadness, worry and bad things.

Usually that breeds compassion, and I see a lot of it here.

I wish I could share this forum and this place with everyone. It is so beautiful, even in this heat, the flowers are changed out again, and in the evenings a breeze ruffles the palms as the ice clinks in our cool drinks on our lanais.

[angiefox10]

If you get to know it first will you show me?

But I will go and tell everybody...just so you know.

This place is meant for sharing.

It makes me sad to think that even one person who thinks they might want to live here could be turned off and turned away by any of the behavior seen on this forum in the last couple of days.

No, we aren't perfect here. But we are grown ups and I would bet that every single one of us has had our share of pain, sadness, worry and bad things.

Usually that breeds compassion, and I see a lot of it here.

I wish I could share this forum and this place with everyone. It is so beautiful, even in this heat, the flowers are changed out again, and in the evenings a breeze ruffles the palms as the ice clinks in our cool drinks on our lanais.

Do I have to bring out my "troll" thread??? :024:

[angiefox10]

I know... Wait..... You'll see!:D

[Barefoot]

[QUOTE=Larry Wilson;377788]

Moved here long before TOTV. ...... This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions just as valid as any ones.
----------------------------------------------------

It is true that there was a time that some members were banned, probably 2009, not sure why. It is true that another Board was started. But most members are not back on TOTV with new names. They have migrated to Facebook and are very happy there. I agree that every member has a right to post experiences and opinions. Posters on TOTV tend to be be newbies and are ultra positive. Nothing wrong with that. If some posters have negative comments or experiences, their input is valuable also and they shouldn't be mocked. Just my personal opinion.

[TOTV Team]

I've had a request this week from a user to remove their membership as a result of perceived negative comments. Everyone's thoughts, comments, and feedback are appreciated but respect for each other is paramount and comments should be directed toward a topic and not another user in any way.

I believe this thread has lived it's usefulness and is now closed.