Sending the wrong message

[Trish Crocker]

I love TOTV and I can't wait to get to Florida so I can meet everyone. That being said, I have some concerns. I have gotten to know so many wonderful people and look forward daily to checking new posts. Lately, however, it has gotten to be almost painful to read. So many terrific people are leaving the forums. I know that TOTV is an opportunity to have your opinions expressed, but you have to realize, we "newbies" are just learning about the Villages and making a major decision about where we are going to spend the rest of our lives. We use this site to gain insight. I used to sign off TOTV with good feelings, now it's more concern. When someone posts an unfavorable comment, it doesn't have to be ignored, just not commented on. By doing this, the poster is just left in limbo...he/she will either have to explain what was actually meant or drop it. If there is contention, it should be addressed privately, this way no one is publicly embarassed or made to feel like they have to 'defend' their position, which only causes more tension. I really, really miss Gracie and Russ and hate the thought of Angie leaving. Please realize, by leaving, you are only hurting the people that care about you, and this is unfair, please reconsider and just don't respond to perceived insults.

Trish

[billmar]

Trish: I agree, it's a lose-lose situation to try and respond to comments that push our buttons. I think it's human nature to want to have the last word, but it rarely turns out positive. Believe me, been there done that and still learning.:oops:

[Larry Wilson]

Trish,
There are hundreds and hundreds of great posters on here. Check out all the threads. Better yet, there are thousands and thousands of great friendly people who live in the Villages. A club or group for everybody! When you go to a town square, strangers sitting next to you will start a friendly conversation and sometimes you will end up close friends.
I've lived here longer than this board. I lurked from day one. Hundreds have stopped posting for many reasons. Many still come on and read without logging in. Probably what your 3 friends are doing. Anyone can read this board. Look at the bottom. Its about 3 to 1 people reading the board compared to those logged on.
You seem so sweet- you will make a ton of friends here. I'm off to Arnold Palmers for lunch and then to pickle ball. Once you live here you will have a ton of face to face friends.

[Schaumburger]

Trish: I agree, it's a lose-lose situation to try and respond to comments that push our buttons. I think it's human nature to want to have the last word, but it rarely turns out positive. Believe me, been there done that and still learning.:oops:

Trish and billmar, I agree. Sometimes it's best to take a walk around the block or blocks (literally or figuratively) before responding to a post or to an e-mail.

[pooh]

Hi Trish,

I understand your feelings...we make "friends" with the people we interact with on message boards. Sometimes some forget that there are flesh and blood people typing and interacting. Strange how not seeing who they're corresponding with can make some respond in less than charitable ways.

I'm a moderator on another board and over the years, we've seen people come and go. It's always sad to have someone you've enjoyed interacting with, leave, though many times they do return. On our board, for years all posts, no matter how vile, were allowed to remain. No matter how much we admins suggested that others not respond to something unworthy of response, people would continue. As the years passed, removing posts and banning has been allowed and it works. A number of our posters are from different countries so spotting the offending posts took a while because of the time differences and people being people, they would just continue on, degrading the entire message board. It's amazing how quickly people can "get on the wagon" when a negative post stays. I'm all for free speech, but not when it starts to erode the structure of a perfectly functioning board.

I miss those who've left, but alas, it isn't an uncommon event....maybe here it is, but in general, it happens. Hopefully, our members who've moved away will return to us and of course, we'll welcome them back with our arms outstretched. Sometimes people just need a break, need time to relax and recoup. In reality, it's just a message board and it should be fun. If it's not giving you enjoyment, it's time to get your priorities back in order. Once equilibrium is achieved, then, maybe it's back with old friends....oh, I do hope so. I miss those who've needed a break.

[Schaumburger]

Hi Trish,

I understand your feelings...we make "friends" with the people we interact with on message boards. Sometimes some forget that there are flesh and blood people typing and interacting. Strange how not seeing who they're corresponding with can make some respond in less than charitable ways.

I'm a moderator on another board and over the years, we've seen people come and go. It's always sad to have someone you've enjoyed interacting with, leave, though many times they do return. On our board, for years all posts, no matter how vile, were allowed to remain. No matter how much we admins suggested that others not respond to something unworthy of response, people would continue. As the years passed, removing posts and banning has been allowed and it works. A number of our posters are from different countries so spotting the offending posts took a while because of the time differences and people being people, they would just continue on, degrading the entire message board. It's amazing how quickly people can "get on the wagon" when a negative post stays. I'm all for free speech, but not when it starts to erode the structure of a perfectly functioning board.

I miss those who've left, but alas, it isn't an uncommon event....maybe here it is, but in general, it happens. Hopefully, our members who've moved away will return to us and of course, we'll welcome them back with our arms outstretched. Sometimes people just need a break, need time to relax and recoup. In reality, it's just a message board and it should be fun. If it's not giving you enjoyment, it's time to get your priorities back in order. Once equilibrium is achieved, then, maybe it's back with old friends....oh, I do hope so. I miss those who've needed a break.

Pooh, I agree with you -- reading and posting on TOTV should be a fun, enjoyable and educational experience. If I want to get riled up or aggravated, I get plenty of that 40 hrs. or more per week Monday through Friday at my job.

[bkcunningham1]

The forum does seem to have recently taken a very strange turn. I was really saddened to read back over some of the recent posts and see that some of the sage posters are leaving. Sad. Sad indeed.

[Schaumburger]

Sorry if I missed something -- is Gracie no longer posting on TOTV? :( :(.

[memason]

Everyone should remember that this forum only represents a small percentage of folks living in TV. I have been a member of this board for a couple years and moved to TV fulltime in December 2010. The insights I gained on this board were invaluable...specifically, who to call to have any sort of service performed in TV.

But just like everyone else you will meet in life, there are folks on here with strong opinions and they use this forum to voice those opinions. In recent weeks, some posts have been outright mean, which is unusual for this forum. The Admin is working to take care of that situation and I'm confident he will be successful.

Use the forum to ask question that are important to you and help you in making a decision to join us here in paradise...

Cheers...

[runnermi]

Nope, not scaring me away. I still want to live in the Villages some day and I hope to meet all of you too.

Any board or forum that I have ever been part of have had these flaming wars from time to time. I have learned to read but keep my 2 cents to myself. :throwtomatoes:

[Schaumburger]

Nope, not scaring me away. I still want to live in the Villages some day and I hope to meet all of you too.

Any board or forum that I have ever been part of have had these flaming wars from time to time. I have learned to read but keep my 2 cents to myself. :throwtomatoes:

Gail,

:agree: I also still think TV is for me at some point in the future.

[Barefoot]

Sorry if I missed something -- is Gracie no longer posting on TOTV? :( :(.

She is back, on another thread.

[flamingo]

I have not met Gracie in person, but she comes across as a sweet, witty, and wonderful gal. I feel as if I do know her because of her cute way of expressing herself. She seems to have a gift of making others feel good. I still hope to meet her when I become a "frog". How will that ever happen if she quits TOTV?

[pooh]

I have not met Gracie in person, but she comes across as a sweet, witty, and wonderful gal. I feel as if I do know her because of her cute way of expressing herself. She seems to have a gift of making others feel good. I still hope to meet her when I become a "frog". How will that ever happen if she quits TOTV?

She's all that and a strong woman as well...and I mean that in an extremely good way. She's around...and I'm thrilled to see her here. You'll absolutely love her, I know that for a fact!

[rubicon]

I can understand why people feel badly about russ and Gracie bowing out, even if its temporary. However I do not agree with the restof what they say. TOTV is loaded with excellent information funny jokes and good poltical debate. It would unrealistic for me to ignore the occassional individual who chooses to push some things to the limit vis a vis cogent discussion on issues relating TV or the country.

[Bogie Shooter]

Is it possible that Gracie may be on vacation??

[KatzPajamas]

I can understand why people feel badly about russ and Gracie bowing out, even if its temporary. However I do not agree with the restof what they say. TOTV is loaded with excellent information funny jokes and good poltical debate. It would unrealistic for me to ignore the occassional individual who chooses to push some things to the limit vis a vis cogent discussion on issues relating TV or the country.

While I am still a Hope to BE Villager, I have enjoyed immensely being able to read and respond to posts on your forum. I also feel like I know the people with whom I have the privilege to converse and debate political issues. It has been educational and theraputic to be part of the honest open discussions! Wouldn't miss it for the world-thanks to all of you who take the time :D

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Is it possible that Gracie may be on vacation??

Here's a post from her earlier this evening, Bogie:

https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/showthread.php?p=380724

Bill :)

[SukiChu]

Well said Trish. I was thinking the same thing. We are also considering moving to TV and it was beginning to sound a little like Paradise LOST. I think regular posters don't realize that we "wannabe's" are lurking around, trying to get a feel for the people of TV as well as the other aspects. Hopefully, this is over and everyone will just move on.

[angiefox10]

Is one of the sweetest people I know.... I've never seen her treat anyone with anything except respect! I'm proud to call her friend. Grace... Welcome back! We've missed you! :thumbup:

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Is one of the sweetest people I know.... I've never seen her treat anyone with anything except respect! I'm proud to call her friend. Grace... Welcome back! We've missed you! :thumbup:

And welcome back to you as well, angie!

Bill :wave:

[ssmith]

I don't understand the tenor of late on this forum.....I really miss my buddies whom I haven't even had the pleasure of meeting.... and I have been on this forum for 2 years and have never seen so many come on here and post so many negative comments BUT and this is a BIG But....I am so happy that the new admin is taking the bull by the horns!!!! Newbes and Wannabes don't be put off....or shy to post....this really is a great place to post!!!

[Trish Crocker]

Is one of the sweetest people I know.... I've never seen her treat anyone with anything except respect! I'm proud to call her friend. Grace... Welcome back! We've missed you! :thumbup:

Angiefox....thank you so much for coming back!!!!

[Schaumburger]

Here's a post from her earlier this evening, Bogie:

https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/showthread.php?p=380724

Bill :)

Bill, Thank you for posting this. Glad to see that Gracie is back. :) I hope Russ Boston reconsiders and starts posting again.

[Schaumburger]

And welcome back to you as well, angie!

Bill :wave:

I second that -- Angie, welcome back.

[Schaumburger]

I don't understand the tenor of late on this forum.....I really miss my buddies whom I haven't even had the pleasure of meeting.... and I have been on this forum for 2 years and have never seen so many come on here and post so many negative comments BUT and this is a BIG But....I am so happy that the new admin is taking the bull by the horns!!!! Newbes and Wannabes don't be put off....or shy to post....this really is a great place to post!!!

:agree: with you ssmith!

[SALYBOW]

The forum does seem to have recently taken a very strange turn. I was really saddened to read back over some of the recent posts and see that some of the sage posters are leaving. Sad. Sad indeed.

I too am saddened by the loss of Gracie Girl. She was so positive. I have been worried about the forum for quite awhile. It seems there have been some really nasty turns for the worse. Nothing is all roses but TV is a lot better than this new development makes it out to be. Maybe some are getting old and crotchedly or possibly our brains have fried. If so...chilout Its too hot to have to be sad along with it. From now on I will be placing people in "time out." :spoken:

[angiefox10]

I too am saddened by the loss of Gracie Girl. She was so positive. I have been worried about the forum for quite awhile. It seems there have been some really nasty turns for the worse. Nothing is all roses but TV is a lot better than this new development makes it out to be. Maybe some are getting old and crotchedly or possibly our brains have fried. If so...chilout Its too hot to have to be sad along with it. From now on I will be placing people in "time out." :spoken:

Sally... Grace Girl is back today!!!! YEAH!!!

[LI SNOWBIRD]

Sally... Grace Girl is back today!!!! YEAH!!!

Welcome back Gracie and Angiefox! Sure missed you.Promise to never leave again.:BigApplause:

[jgbama]

I had a PM from a TOTV friend wondering where I had been. Guess I had my fill of those who seem to personally attack someone just because they disagree. I'm reminded also, that most of us use this forum for information and education because we are "gonnabees". There are some who seem to use it as a chat room, and then those very few who just seem grumpy and want to disagree with everyone. :censored: Those are the ones I'll ignore.

Wife and I are so appreciative of the great information we've received on this forum and continue to read the many threads and posts as we continue our journey in preparation to move to "lower paradise" as PTurner and Gracie put it!!

For the new folks, don't let the occasional "nasty" get you down. Continue to read, learn and ask questions. That's the great benefit of this forum!! :thumbup:

[Schaumburger]

I had a PM from a TOTV friend wondering where I had been. Guess I had my fill of those who seem to personally attack someone just because they disagree. I'm reminded also, that most of us use this forum for information and education because we are "gonnabees". There are some who seem to use it as a chat room, and then those very few who just seem grumpy and want to disagree with everyone. :censored: Those are the ones I'll ignore.

Wife and I are so appreciative of the great information we've received on this forum and continue to read the many threads and posts as we continue our journey in preparation to move to "lower paradise" as PTurner and Gracie put it!!

For the new folks, don't let the occasional "nasty" get you down. Continue to read, learn and ask questions. That's the great benefit of this forum!! :thumbup:

jgbama -- :agree: Glad you are back!

[Irish Rover]

If you think it's bad now, wait until election year.

[runnermi]

If you think it's bad now, wait until election year.

Oh Boy! Duck! :boxing2:

[faithfulfrank]

It seems to me that any "Storm" here is over. Many folks are back, and the new Administration has a good handle on things.

My personal feeling is that we should just let it go.....and continue enjoying the forum and all doing our little part to keep it the quality forum you want it to be.

If we keep talking about the "meanness", "rude posts", etc, it is like a self fulfilling prophecy....it is like "feeding the trolls", etc. The Administration wisely closed some of these threads that were just spiraling downhill.

Now we return to our regularly scheduled enjoyable, informative forum.....

Frank

[Trish Crocker]

QUOTE=faithfulfrank;381432]It seems to me that any "Storm" here is over. Many folks are back, and the new Administration has a good handle on things.

My personal feeling is that we should just let it go.....and continue enjoying the forum and all doing our little part to keep it the quality forum you want it to be.

If we keep talking about the "meanness", "rude posts", etc, it is like a self fulfilling prophecy....it is like "feeding the trolls", etc. The Administration wisely closed some of these threads that were just spiraling downhill.

Now we return to our regularly scheduled enjoyable, informative forum.....

Frank[/QUOTE]

:thumbup:

[skyguy79]

It seems to me that any "Storm" here is over. Many folks are back, and the new Administration has a good handle on things.

My personal feeling is that we should just let it go.....and continue enjoying the forum and all doing our little part to keep it the quality forum you want it to be.

If we keep talking about the "meanness", "rude posts", etc, it is like a self fulfilling prophecy....it is like "feeding the trolls", etc. The Administration wisely closed some of these threads that were just spiraling downhill.

Now we return to our regularly scheduled enjoyable, informative forum.....

Frank

:thumbup:I also agree with Frank. Based on what he said, this thread has probably reached the end of it's usefulness and with Frank saying... "If we keep talking about the, etc....," perhaps it's time to bring this discussion to an end. Please remember that if or when you agree with me on that point, you as the Original Poster has a right to request Admin for it's closure.

[Trish Crocker]

I also agree with Frank. Based on what he said, this thread has probably reached the end of it's usefulness and with Frank saying... "If we keep talking about the, etc....," perhaps it's time to bring this discussion to an end. Please remember that if or when you agree with me on that point, you as the Original Poster has a right to request Admin for it's closure.

Wow, I didn't know I had that kind of power :). Should I do it? If so, how?

[jblum315]

If you think it's bad now, wait until election year.

That's why we have the Political Forum:smiley:

[TOTV Team]

Wow, I didn't know I had that kind of power :). Should I do it? If so, how?


As the original author of a thread you can send Admin a PM request.

[Trish Crocker]

As the original author of a thread you can send Admin a PM request.

Thank you, I will do that. We need to get on with the good stuff!!

[Trish Crocker]

The deed has been done...Thank Heavens we can all be over this and get on to the stuff that really counts!:beer3:

[TOTV Team]

Thread closed per author's request.