that's my spot!

[springfield]

Not sure if this has happened to you or what is proper. I enjoy trying many of the wonderful exercise classes in TV. I usually go early to get a "good spot" where I can see what is going on. I went to one class very early. 15 minutes later, a person came in and told me that that was her spot. I offered to move but was told someone else always stands there.??? I go to exercise and feel good. I don't go to hear what I think of as grade school behavior.

[memason]

Not sure if this has happened to you or what is proper. I enjoy trying many of the wonderful exercise classes in TV. I usually go early to get a "good spot" where I can see what is going on. I went to one class very early. 15 minutes later, a person came in and told me that that was her spot. I offered to move but was told someone else always stands there.??? I go to exercise and feel good. I don't go to hear what I think of as grade school behavior.

Don't be discouraged.... There are a few people in TV that have this entitlement mentality. I'm pretty sure there are no reserved spots in exercise classes. I know my wife has gone early several times to get a spot.

You could just say "sorry, it's my spot today". Unfortunately, most nice people don't do that and just move to wherever....

Hang in there! :thumbup:

[2BNTV]

Don't be discouraged.... There are a few people in TV that have this entitlement mentality. I'm pretty sure there are no reserved spots in exercise classes. I know my wife has gone early several times to get a spot.

You could just say "sorry, it's my spot today". Unfortunately, most nice people don't do that and just move to wherever....

Hang in there! :thumbup:

I agree. Reminds me of the thread of people reserving chairs at events for people who were not there yet!!!!!!!

[Uptown Girl]

Not sure if this has happened to you or what is proper. I enjoy trying many of the wonderful exercise classes in TV. I usually go early to get a "good spot" where I can see what is going on. I went to one class very early. 15 minutes later, a person came in and told me that that was her spot. I offered to move but was told someone else always stands there.??? I go to exercise and feel good. I don't go to hear what I think of as grade school behavior.

See, that's the hook about being 'politically correct' in this day and age... the jerks out there who press hard, depend on you being politically correct, apologetic, polite (or intimidated) and giving them what they want. You gotta know when to abandon that and creatively fight fire with fire.

Being a Chicago girl, I would have applauded if you smiled a BIG smile, waved your arms in welcome and said loud enough for others to hear," You want to work out in THIS spot? Well, come on Darling, you can squeeze yourself in here and share this space with me, I don't mind!"
Then, working out with abandon, give her just enough space for an angel to dance on a pin.
Meantime, you eyeball the room and decide on a better spot to be next time... preferably away from the witch. (whom you will continue to smile very big at, and even wave to....It will annoy the hell out of her.) :thumbup:

[angiefox10]

See, that's the hook about being 'politically correct' in this day and age... the jerks out there who press hard, depend on you being politically correct, apologetic, polite and giving them what they want. You gotta know when to abandon that and creatively fight fire with fire.

Being a Chicago girl, I would have applauded if you smiled a BIG smile, waved your arms in welcome and said loud enough for others to hear," You want to work out in THIS spot? Well, come on Darling, you can squeeze yourself in here and share this space with me, I don't mind!"
Then, working out with abandon, give her just enough space for an angel to dance on a pin.
Meantime, you eyeball the room and decide on a better spot to be next time... preferably away from the witch. (whom you will continue to smile very big at....It will annoy the hell out of her.) :thumbup:

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

[mac9]

Being a South Jersey gal, I would have said "Glad to hear it's such a good spot. I'm sure gonna enjoy it!" Anything more would be understood by the "adorable" look on my face!
And I'm not normally like this. I prefer to live and let live until pushed to be otherwise.

[JenAjd]

My comment might be..."REALLY? I didn't see YOUR name on it!!!" I've had folks say, when I go to the pool, something about it being "THEIR" pool!! REALLY??? Then why are we getting charged the amenity fees then????

[graciegirl]

My comment might be..."REALLY? I didn't see YOUR name on it!!!" I've had folks say, when I go to the pool, something about it being "THEIR" pool!! REALLY??? Then why are we getting charged the amenity fees then????

Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.

[ajbrown]

Not sure if this has happened to you or what is proper. I enjoy trying many of the wonderful exercise classes in TV. I usually go early to get a "good spot" where I can see what is going on. I went to one class very early. 15 minutes later, a person came in and told me that that was her spot. I offered to move but was told someone else always stands there.??? I go to exercise and feel good. I don't go to hear what I think of as grade school behavior.

Was it the instructor and assistant :1rotfl:?

It is sad things like that happen. Although uncommon, it happened to my wife last year. In a crowded class a "big nasty" man (her description) came in long after she was there and told her that was his spot and stood right there until she moved. It was upsetting for her and really aggravated me, but life goes on....

I am not sure how I would handle as it is not worth a physical fight IMO. Knowing my personality, I suspect I would LOL, then in a very serious face, say .....sorry, I thought you were joking....

Maybe followed by, ".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

As everyone knows a small percentge of <insert word here> exist everywhere. It is a shame we cannot tag them so everyone would see them coming.

[graciegirl]

Was it the instructor and assistant :1rotfl:?

It is sad things like that happen. Although uncommon, it happened to my wife last year. In a crowded class a "big nasty" man (her description) came in long after she was there and told her that was his spot and stood right there until she moved. It was upsetting for her and really aggravated me, but life goes on....

I am not sure how I would handle as it is not worth a physical fight IMO. Knowing my personality, I suspect I would LOL, then in a very serious face, say .....sorry, I thought you were joking....

Maybe followed by, ".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

As everyone knows a small percentge of <insert word here> exist everywhere. It is a shame we cannot tag them so everyone would see them coming.

Now that is an excellent and non combative comeback. I will remember it...

But probably will be to big of a sissy to actually SAY it.

[swrinfla]

What frankly gets to me is that the attitude that "That's my space" is becoming more prevalent here in TV, a.k.a. Paradise!

I guess it's one of the penalties we must pay for being "Florida's Friendlest Hometown!" 85,000 or so of us!

Where some 96%-99% get along famously with one and all!

Where another 2%-3% hang on to the prejudices and "me, too" outlooks of their previous life!

Sadly, they're the ones who usually end up making things less friendly for the rest of us!

Chill out!

SWR
:beer3:

[mac9]

Gracie, you're the head of the posse! You can say anything that you want and we will be there to back you up!:D

[paulandjean]

How about, "Buzz Off".......

[Bogie Shooter]

I like this suggested response.....only it should be said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

[Bogie Shooter]

Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.

And it was wrong that you had to leave.
Gracie, these people that feel entitled have to be stood up to.................

[dillywho]

I like this suggested response.....only it should be said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

That works with those kind of people because they will not challenge anyone in authority or take an attitude. Does the word "bully" ring a bell? (They're not all school kids, you know.)

There was a guy in SS one night that told some other people that they could not put chairs (which would actually be in line with the other rows, I might add) in front of theirs. The other gentleman told him that when someone in charge or someone from the entertainment staff told him that he could not do it, then he wouldn't but until then...no go. Guess what? The guy with the problem shut up and left soon after to go to dinner. Just more of the "me, me, me" attitude some bring with them no matter where they go.

[2BNTV]

Was it the instructor and assistant :1rotfl:?

It is sad things like that happen. Although uncommon, it happened to my wife last year. In a crowded class a "big nasty" man (her description) came in long after she was there and told her that was his spot and stood right there until she moved. It was upsetting for her and really aggravated me, but life goes on....

I am not sure how I would handle as it is not worth a physical fight IMO. Knowing my personality, I suspect I would LOL, then in a very serious face, say .....sorry, I thought you were joking....

Maybe followed by, ".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

As everyone knows a small percentge of <insert word here> exist everywhere. It is a shame we cannot tag them so everyone would see them coming.

Being a non-confrontational type of person, I think I would move but would complain to management of the people who do this sort of thing. Management should deal with this type of behaviour. If one is so concerned about "my spot", they should make it their business to get there early enough to occuply "my spot".

If one really feels compelled to say something directly, a great idea is the response, "tell you what, you go tell the instructor or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will".

Sadly, some people don't realize what comes out of their mouths and how it affects other people. I know I would never be friendly with someone who does something of this nature.

They would never make my Christmas card list. :)

[pooh]

Sorry you encountered an extremely rude and pushy person. They do exist in TV, but in fewer numbers than in other areas for the most part. Guess people sort of feel that this is more like a resort than a home town for a while and as swrinfla said, " some hang on to the prejudices and "me, too" outlooks of their previous life!"

After a while, they might soften to the gentle smiles and more friendly attitudes of the majority. Let's hope so! Some people are more self centered than others and their world is rather limited....it's them and no one else. Sometimes it's because they haven't yet adjusted to retirement, other times it could be because of age related changes that impact thinking, sometimes it's just because they're nasty individuals. It's probably just better to smile, explain that spots are not assigned and it's a first come, first to get a spot situation. (Not sure they'd appreciate it if someone talked to their wife or mother in the manner you were spoken to...and plenty of residents have older relatives in TV. ) They might not like moving, but that's just something they're going to have to adjust to.

(Guess you can't drive your big rig over their motorcycles like they do in the movies.... ;) )

[Bettiboop]

I'm a non-confrontational type person for the most part also, so I'm not sure what I would have really said in this situation. What I would have liked to say is something like "Your spot, you say?? Ok...you can have it when my class is over." (and then I would run like h*LL....LOL)

[mgjim]

You don't have to go very far to find rude people but you've go to pick your battles.

[bestmickey]

Whoa Nellie. I won't be much liked if I ever do move to Paradise. While I don't consider myself confrontational, on the other hand, I do stand my ground. My first response would be to roll my eyes while standing my ground. If she persisited, my second response would be verbal, that she should "get a life", while also standing my ground. If she persisted still, no telling what I would say or do, but be assured that I would still be standing my ground.

[Freeda]

I think we should try to promote the spirit of expecting others to honor basic fairness, which is especially important in a community as large as this; and so I think a thing to do might be to give the person demanding the place the benefit of the doubt, and just politely say something like, "I realize that you must not know this, but there are no reserved places in the classes here" and just smile and stay put. I would say it just loudly enough that the attention of others around would be drawn - in case of attack! (-; .

This time of year, in particular, the classes start filling up so quickly that if you relinquish a place, you might not find another. (Which reminds me of the time my husband was seated on a flight, which was full, and another man appeared at the seat with a boarding pass bearing the same seat number. The attendant was called, and she apologized for the airline's error and told my husband and the other man that her solution was for them to draw straws for the seat. My husband just shrugged his shoulders and said "But . . I already have a seat." People in the surrounding seats were all ears and were asking for popcorn. A short 'staredown' followed, and then the stewardess asked the other man to come with her, and he left the plane. But, I digress).

I agree that starting an unpleasant 'scene' over a little thing like this isn't classy (and Gracie, your mom sounds like mine in always expecting what she called 'mannerliness' - regardless of who was right or wrong - only mine would have probably gotten a switch), but that should not be necessary.

The problem with just acquiescing in a demand like this is that it just encourages this kind of inappropriate assertiveness on their part toward others in the future.

[Skybo]

How about this...you relinquish �the spot� and then stand at the back of the exercise area. Just before class begins you raise your hand and ask the instructor (in a loud and clear voice) where your �reserved spot is�. When the instructor tells you that there are no reserved spots...then do or say whatever makes you comfortable. Even if you don�t say or do anything, I think the point will be made and I doubt anyone in that class will be claiming a �spot� again.

[Mudder]

The "you're in my spot" person is a bully imho. Bullying is so pervasive in our society today. No one needs to enable the bullies by folding to them. Stand your ground always !

[Boudicca]

my exercise class fills up 45 mins before the start time, and there is often a "milling around" situation when someone's "spot' has been taken when folks arrive 20 mins later. So far, no verbal protests have been voiced, but I am mentally prepared. I am going to smile (disarmingly) and reply "Its amazing how quickly the class fills up now that the seasonal folks have returned, I got here at 7.0am to make sure I could get in"... then stand my ground. .... with a smile...:clap2:

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Here's something to consider trying:

If you find yourself in a situation like springfield describes, simply respond to the person's initial statement to you by posing a question back to them - quietly, politely, and with a smile. When they reply, ask another appropriate question. Another reply, another relevant question, and so on:

"Is reserving a spot really allowed?"
"Is management o.k. with permitting reserving a spot?"
"Is there something particularly different about this spot versus another one?"

If you handle the situation in a non-confrontational manner - and your questions don't become personal, snide, or snippy - the person thinking they have dibs on the spot will either tire of it all or, as others around you start to see and hear what's going on, they'll quickly make themself look foolish if they continue to pursue it.

You've controlled the situation, stood your ground in a non-confrontational way.......and hopefully made a completely rational point to the spot-squatter in the process.

Just a thought............

Bill :)

[angiefox10]

Here's something to consider trying:

If you find yourself in a situation like springfield describes, simply respond to the person's initial statement to you by posing a question back to them - quietly, politely, and with a smile. When they reply, ask another appropriate question. Another reply, another relevant question, and so on:

"Is reserving a spot really allowed?"
"Is management o.k. with permitting reserving a spot?"
"Is there something particularly different about this spot versus another one?"

If you handle the situation in a non-confrontational manner - and your questions don't become personal, snide, or snippy - the person thinking they have dibs on the spot will either tire of it all or, as others around you start to see and hear what's going on, they'll quickly make themself look foolish if they continue to pursue it.

You've controlled the situation, stood your ground in a non-confrontational way.......and hopefully made a completely rational point to the spot-squatter in the process.

Just a thought............

Bill :)


Sooooo Asking what the :censored: are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea???? :D

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Sooooo Asking what the :censored: are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea???? :D

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I think you must've skipped over the part about not making the questions personal, snide, or snippy! I believe :censored: probably blows all 3 of those categories out of the water - and undoubtedly many others as well! :clap2:

I'm still laughing..............:1rotfl:

Bill :wave:

[angiefox10]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I think you must've skipped over the part about not making the questions personal, snide, or snippy! I believe :censored: probably blows all 3 of those categories out of the water - and undoubtedly many others as well! :clap2:

I'm still laughing..............:1rotfl:

Bill :wave:


Oh..... nevermind....

[skyguy79]

Sooooo Asking what the :censored: are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea???? :DI hope you're talking about asking the numb scull who thinks he/she's a deed holder to the spot and not Bill! :1rotfl:

[angiefox10]

I hope you're talking about asking the numb scull who thinks he/she's a deed holder to the spot and not Bill! :1rotfl:

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

[JenAjd]

Weren't taught to say things like that. In Ohio, our moms would have smacked us for talking out like that, and so people who are raised like that are often pushed around here and it makes me mad. BUT, I would feel guilty and wrong speaking up.

I don't like people to win through intimidation like the space savers usually do.

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind.

I did not mean to say you are wrong Jen, it just is that we were all raised with different sets of expectation and some of them are regional.

I think basically people are the same no matter where they come from.

But that kind of pushiness makes me want to bite when they think they can save a place. I left an art class at Colony because of that kind of behavior.


You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

[angiefox10]

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

To be honest. When something like that happens to any of us, we go into a shock and don't do or say anything. Since we don't expect anyone to say anything like that to us, we generally don't have a response.

This thread has been good in that so many of the responses have been good. If this happens to anyone who has read this, in the future, we will have a better handle on how to deal with it.

But as to how we would have handled it. most likely, would would have let the person have "their spot" because it was the unexpected.

[jojoin]

I consider myself fairly polite. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. But, I gotta say if I went early to a class (which I do) and someone came 15 minutes later and said that's my spot, I would not move. I'd probably explain there are no designated spots, it's first come first served at the activities. Hopefully, they would move on and find another spot or come earlier next time. On a positive note, I've never had this happen so this person (I hope) is not the typical participant.

[graciegirl]

You read me wrong!!! I haven't had the instance to actually say that...but THAT would have been my 1st thought inclination!!! I was raised in the upper midwest and was taught to be polite etc. What is being shared here though is that folks come into a class and try to be pushy....telling another "they" took the spot of the 2nd party and that is wrong in my thinking. Would you just say "sorry..and move aside? Maybe, but if you were there first I'd think the spot you were in would be yours!" Just mho!!!

And I knew that Jen. When I typed it I KNEW that you are always kind. That is the reading of words again instead of looking at faces. I am sorry for saying it the way I did and choosing your post to copy. You are always thoughtful and nice.

At Odell you do need to come early for Walking Off the Pounds but they make you wait in line until the time of the class and then allow you to enter the room. But STILL there are those who say...this is my spot.

[l2ridehd]

Just ask them "wow, I tried to reserve a spot and they told me first come first served. How did you reserve this spot"?

In my prior life I would have said OK and moved, today I would not. To many people think they have a right to treat others any way they want to get what they want. Just listen to the dumb requests of the occupy wall street idiots.

What people who think "this is their spot" should learn is that others will stand up to them and not accept that behavior. They will never change unless we do.

[springfield]

Thanks for your advice. I would love to be able to use some of them. I'm not very confrontational and probably wouldn't. This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that. Yet, I guess it was more important to her. Hopefully, some of the "that's my spot" people will read your responses and think twice before being rude. I am off to a 7:30 class. I'm leaving early so I can get my spot! Thanks again.

[ladydoc]

See, that's the hook about being 'politically correct' in this day and age... the jerks out there who press hard, depend on you being politically correct, apologetic, polite (or intimidated) and giving them what they want. You gotta know when to abandon that and creatively fight fire with fire.

Being a Chicago girl, I would have applauded if you smiled a BIG smile, waved your arms in welcome and said loud enough for others to hear," You want to work out in THIS spot? Well, come on Darling, you can squeeze yourself in here and share this space with me, I don't mind!"
Then, working out with abandon, give her just enough space for an angel to dance on a pin.
Meantime, you eyeball the room and decide on a better spot to be next time... preferably away from the witch. (whom you will continue to smile very big at, and even wave to....It will annoy the hell out of her.) :thumbup:

Hush now..don't give away the Chicago girl secrets.....:MOJE_whot:

[Bettiboop]

Thanks for your advice. I would love to be able to use some of them. I'm not very confrontational and probably wouldn't. This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that. Yet, I guess it was more important to her. Hopefully, some of the "that's my spot" people will read your responses and think twice before being rude. I am off to a 7:30 class. I'm leaving early so I can get my spot! Thanks again.

It is a shame this person treated you in such a way. Her comments would have made me feel not welcome. I hope this is not a common thing in TV.

[mrsanborn]

The Boomers are coming, the Boomers are coming! The pelicans from "Finding Nemo" - mine, mine, mine, mine

[Uptown Girl]

Thanks for your advice.... This same person wanted to know if I lived in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I was a snowbird. She said that they like keeping the class small. I got the feeling that they all knew each other like it was a little neighborhood clique. I did keep my place but I said to her afterwards that I think she must have been bothered by me being in her place and asked if she would like for me to go to the next row next time. She smiled and looked relieved. This incident bothered me and she should not have said that..... .

I don't want to harp on this... you already know that her question was meant to intimidate you. But if it bothered you that she jumped on your offer 'to go to the next row next time', remember that you GAVE her the choice of directing your placement or not..... you can't be upset that she didn't make the choice you hoped.

Anyway..... have a beautiful day!

[springfield]

I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.

[JenAjd]

I've observed this kind of attitude elsewhere in T.V. as well. Have heard conversations of folks going to neighborhood pools only to be asked "if they are snowbirds", as if there's an "ownership" of some. If one thinks about it...it's childish behavior and unbecoming of individuals to act like this. I agree with one other poster here---it's a type of bullying!!!!!

My, my, my---my thought is LIFE is much too short to be so unkind, much less this out-spoken. It seems that most in T.V. are highly educated and have lived a good life elsewhere so my question is, were they like this in their jobs, neighborhoods etc. elsewhere?? Why does this attitude seem so pervasive here and I'd not experienced it so much where we moved from??
To be quite honest it has been shocking!!

[graciegirl]

I've observed this kind of attitude elsewhere in T.V. as well. Have heard conversations of folks going to neighborhood pools only to be asked "if they are snowbirds", as if there's an "ownership" of some. If one thinks about it...it's childish behavior and unbecoming of individuals to act like this. I agree with one other poster here---it's a type of bullying!!!!!

My, my, my---my thought is LIFE is much too short to be so unkind, much less this out-spoken. It seems that most in T.V. are highly educated and have lived a good life elsewhere so my question is, were they like this in their jobs, neighborhoods etc. elsewhere?? Why does this attitude seem so pervasive here and I'd not experienced it so much where we moved from??
To be quite honest it has been shocking!!

I have to agree Jen. And as Doctor Phil says " The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior".

I know of a fairly popular woman who is a friend of a friend and she bullies everyone she meets. She manipulates and uses power tactics to get things her way. I wonder constantly WHY she has any aquaintances at all, but she doles out favors and gives gifts and arranges fun happenings.
The smart people quit and leave her group but she still has many followers. I met her once and I ran....not walked away from anything she had any dealings with.

I don't like mean. And I don't like selfish. And it isn't that I haven't been both and still am at times, but at least I am ashamed when it is pointed out to me.

I think that the behaviors that we see like this here have won these people some things. It is called "Winning Through Intimidation" and I plan to read that book sometime.

Now this does not mean that I don't agree with all of you who say you need to speak up and stand on your own two feet and act like an adult. But there is a difference in that. That is healthy. Pushing people around to see them pushed is just not right.

Someone help me down off this soap box.

And Jen...Hugs.

[Larry Wilson]

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.

[Posh 08]

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.

Thank you for your honest opinion. As a "maybe" TV candidate, it is good to hear this. I really like TOTV, sooner or later it all comes out.

[rubicon]

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.

You are spot on and it is only going to get worse.

I had a friend that told me she moved 20 times. I replied by asking what states she has moved to and which of these states she liked the most. She replied by telling me she had not moved away from the area ever but that everytime she could look out a window and could see a neighbor she sell and built a new home.

[angiefox10]

I LOVE to go to the places that everyone else goes to. The crowded restaurants are crowded for a reason. A packed concert is packed for a reason. The Villages have a lot of people for a reason.

That's not to say that it's for everyone, but for me. The more people who are there, the more I like it!

When hubby and I are looking for a new place to eat... We look for the one that has a line! YOU know the food is going to be good!

I can't wait to get to TV!!!! There's a reason so many people are trying to get there!!! :ho:

[Bogie Shooter]

I LOVE to go to the places that everyone else goes to. The crowded restaurants are crowded for a reason. A packed concert is packed for a reason. The Villages have a lot of people for a reason.

That's not to say that it's for everyone, but for me. The more people who are there, the more I like it!

When hubby and I are looking for a new place to eat... We look for the one that has a line! YOU know the food is going to be good!

I can't wait to get to TV!!!! There's a reason so many people are trying to get there!!! :ho:

Most likely because there is more than one golf course and more than one recreation center! Oh, thats right Stonecrest did add another executive course.

[Schaumburger]

I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.

springfield, From at TV wannabee: You sound like a great person, and I would be glad to have you as my next door neighbor or fellow class participant if I ever move to TV. I hope you have a more positive experience in your exercise class in the future. :wave:

[mr and mrs bike]

After reading this topic for a few days now I have had the converstation about what to do and what to say over and over in my head. I always have the best conversations with myself AFTER the event has taken place as to what to do and what to say. I hope I would say, "I'm sorry, I didn't know we had assigned spots" and then stand there and see what happens. If the person didn't move I would probably slink away and have a really good conversation with myself as to other clever things to say---which I would never do.

[springfield]

I have met so many cool people in the classes. When I meet uncool people, it kind of takes me for a loop. You just pm me when you get down here. The responses have helped me reinforce in my mind that rudeness and "me, me , me" is not what we are all about. Perhaps the powers that be can remind people of that. Hope you turn from a wannabe to a TV-er.

[cquick]

I wish my mom was here to see this kind of thing. She might have changed her mind..

If my mom was here, she'd tell them .... um, I can't say what she'd tell them. But she certainly wouldn't move over just to give a "spot" on the floor to someone else! First come first served! Unless you have your name written in magic marker on the floor!:)

[graciegirl]

If my mom was here, she'd tell them .... um, I can't say what she'd tell them. But she certainly wouldn't move over just to give a "spot" on the floor to someone else! First come first served! Unless you have your name written in magic marker on the floor!:)


You are right of course. But then I will have ruined the whole time there thinking about it and being all annoyed and wondering how else I could have handled it. WHY do people do stuff like that????

[The Village Girl]

You are right of course. But then I will have ruined the whole time there thinking about it and being all annoyed and wondering how else I could have handled it. WHY do people do stuff like that????

Of course we always think of the BEST responses AFTER the fact! We know, if it happens again, we know what we would say or do. Only, it never happens again and all those GREAT responses just fade away. Like my daddy used to always say.... A good girl scout is ALWAYS prepared!

[Uptown Girl]

You are right of course. But then I will have ruined the whole time there thinking about it and being all annoyed and wondering how else I could have handled it. WHY do people do stuff like that????

Plain and simple, Dear Gracie.... they do it because they want to.

[Figmo Bohica]

Be rasied a Military brat then serving 20 in the military, I have a huge number of acquiences and just a few friends. When you move every three years or so, you don't get pushed around much as you learn you have to stand your ground or get run over. I just don't run over to easy. I am not pushy, try to be friendly, but when you push me for no reason, you quickly find that I don't push, but being 6 foot 225 pounds and ugly not many want to mess with me. *S* Don't let rude bullying people push you, once you stand up to them they slink away as the skunks they really are.

[Bogie Shooter]

...

[Bogie Shooter]

[QUOTE=Figmo Bohica;407586[quote]
Impressive vitae.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Impressive vitae.

Thanks Bogie - there's my new word for today! :read:

:thumbup:

Bill :)

[Pturner]

I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.

Hi Springfield,
Thank you for posting this, as it gives others a chance to be forewarned/forearmed for a similar experience.

When I'm faced with the need for a quick response, my first thoughts are "do the right thing" and "first, do no harm". A funny or clever response might be ideal, but isn't necessary if one sticks to these two principles.

Yielding the spot fails on both counts. It is harmful to the community to enable a bully. In my mind-- unless you are in danger-- it is always wrong to enable a bully. Not letting the bully prevail is "the right thing to do" because you help enforce fair-play not just for yourself but for others. Another way to look at this is, "what if everybody responded as I did?" If everybody enabled the bully, (s)he will continue to run roughshod over people, to the detriment of not just you but everyone else. If everyone failed to yield the spot to the bully, the entire community would win! Therefore, it's the right answer.

Base your action on these principles and not yielding the spot to the bully becomes a no brainer. Now, coming up with a funny comeback or one that diffuses the situation would be nice too, but is not necessary. You've done no harm and done the right thing, one that would work great if everyone responded the same way.

That said, I probably would have laughed and said, "Cool! May I kindly borrow your 'Rules Don't Apply to Me' license. I actually had to get here early for this spot!... By the way, my name is ..., Nice to meet you."

If the person response with his/her name, change the subject to a pleasant chat.

[cquick]

You are right of course. But then I will have ruined the whole time there thinking about it and being all annoyed and wondering how else I could have handled it. WHY do people do stuff like that????

Yup, WHY do people do stuff like that.....is the biggest question :ohdear:

[ilovetv]

Yup, WHY do people do stuff like that.....is the biggest question :ohdear:

They do it because they are pushy and they like feeling "important" by pushing other people around.

Has anyone ever told the instructor of this problem, so that the instructor makes an announcement saying "the rule is first come, first served......nobody gets priority seating"?

It sounds like more classes should be using a "take a number" and wait in line at the door, in that order, system.

[graciegirl]

They do it because they are pushy and they like feeling "important" by pushing other people around.

Has anyone ever told the instructor of this problem, so that the instructor makes an announcement saying "the rule is first come, first served......nobody gets priority seating"?

It sounds like more classes should be using a "take a number" and wait in line at the door, in that order, system.

In a "Walk off the pounds" class...no instructor, just a tape...but I suppose you could ask the person who starts the tape to make that announcement.

Everyone should read PTurner's post above. I know that I will now see that giving in just makes it harder for other people. I will just stand my ground in a polite sort of way while my blood pressure goes up.

[graciegirl]

Hi Springfield,
Thank you for posting this, as it gives others a chance to be forewarned/forearmed for a similar experience.

When I'm faced with the need for a quick response, my first thoughts are "do the right thing" and "first, do no harm". A funny or clever response might be ideal, but isn't necessary if one sticks to these two principles.

Yielding the spot fails on both counts. It is harmful to the community to enable a bully. In my mind-- unless you are in danger-- it is always wrong to enable a bully. Not letting the bully prevail is "the right thing to do" because you help enforce fair-play not just for yourself but for others. Another way to look at this is, "what if everybody responded as I did?" If everybody enabled the bully, (s)he will continue to run roughshod over people, to the detriment of not just you but everyone else. If everyone failed to yield the spot to the bully, the entire community would win! Therefore, it's the right answer.

Base your action on these principles and not yielding the spot to the bully becomes a no brainer. Now, coming up with a funny comeback or one that diffuses the situation would be nice too, but is not necessary. You've done no harm and done the right thing, one that would work great if everyone responded the same way.

That said, I probably would have laughed and said, "Cool! May I kindly borrow your 'Rules Don't Apply to Me' license. I actually had to get here early for this spot!... By the way, my name is ..., Nice to meet you."

If the person response with his/her name, change the subject to a pleasant chat.

bump

[paulandjean]

Take a number? Tell the front desk? Come on this is not third grade. Handle this yourself. Just say No. Its not that hard. I always feel the least said is the best way in these situations. Just say No

[runnermi]

As a future Villager, this whole thread bothers me. It seems like there is a real attitude toward those who are snowflakes, snow birds, renters, new Villagers. Have people forgotten that at one point they were the new kid on the blocK? Or that at one point, they rented?

Let me live here but you stay out, stay home, don't move to MY neighborhood, etc. I mean really, "It is THEIR pool????" Are you :censored: kidding me? Unless the pool is in your backyard, it isn't yours. Get over it or I might just pee in "YOUR" pool for spite.

Maybe I need to look for another place to live where I would be welcomed? I realize that not everyone is like that. I can get a pretty good sense of who I would like to meet and who I would avoid just by reading comments. I also realize that people are people no matter where you live.

I'm just saying.....

[mac9]

Oh, dear Gracie, NEVER let other people dictate how your day will be! You are too sweet to have that happen. When other people begin their first conversation with you by being rude, THEY have set the standard for the conversation. You don't have to be rude back at them, but you must be firm and convincing that they do not have control over you or your day! It's a shame that you had to leave an art class because of others' rudeness. I have not seen your art, but know others who have seen and enjoyed it. Just continue to be your "Gracie" self.

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

My husband is a paying member of "Gold's Gym", he enjoys the "Spinning Classes", well his first or second time in class he got there early and choice a cycle and had it all adjusted to his liking, when another participate came up to him and said "I'm sorry sir but I had that cycle/bike reserved", well unbeknownst to him there is a clipboard at the front desk where a person(s) can reserve a bike/cycle, I'm sure this is all legal and proper, however it's just another way of encouraging the "entitlement" attitude of this world we live in, whatever happen to "first come, first served". He came home and told me about it and was kind of joking about it, but I could tell he felt like he had done something wrong and committed a crime against this person, like he trespassed on "their property", oh well, "just another country heard from".

[Doodlegirl]

My hearing impaired friend taught me to sign:

What are you trying to tell me?
Works for me every time.

[swimdawg]

My hearing impaired friend taught me to sign:

What are you trying to tell me?
Works for me every time.

Now we're talkin'...
............I mean signin'

Love this answer! :)

[dillywho]

My husband is a paying member of "Gold's Gym", he enjoys the "Spinning Classes", well his first or second time in class he got there early and choice a cycle and had it all adjusted to his liking, when another participate came up to him and said "I'm sorry sir but I had that cycle/bike reserved", well unbeknownst to him there is a clipboard at the front desk where a person(s) can reserve a bike/cycle, I'm sure this is all legal and proper, however it's just another way of encouraging the "entitlement" attitude of this world we live in, whatever happen to "first come, first served". He came home and told me about it and was kind of joking about it, but I could tell he felt like he had done something wrong and committed a crime against this person, like he trespassed on "their property", oh well, "just another country heard from".

Was it actually a "reserved" list or just a sign in sheet for the next available when all were busy? That's done here during peak times and the people just use something else until that particular piece of equipment is available.

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

A reserve list.

[KathieI]

Its all about overcrowding. We have been here long enough to see the personality of this place change. Once everybody exchanged name cards, made friends with everybody, and there was enough parking spaces, chairs, exercise spots, dancing floor room to dance etc.etc.etc.
Then the building went on steroids and all that changed. I know this will get the "everything is perfect" posters to attack me but it is just too overcrowded here in the winter.
About 4 years ago when half of my wife's exercise class was turned away all winter because not enough spots, she stated her own class.(mainly to know she would have a place on stage!) Now her class is turning people away.
It is rough out there and people do resent snowbirds but...its the nature of the animal world to fight if there is overcrowding.
Once again," the all is is perfect" crowd will hate to hear this but the other smaller developments all around us are much friendlier and none of this tension. When you move to Del Webb or Stonecrest it is a more peaceful existence. It is also true is they come here for our entertainment and restaurants.
So save the attacks because I still live here for the level of sports but my wife would move in a minute. We always talk about the good old days before this place was overcrowded.
Everyone have a great day and I mean it. We are all lucky to be out of the northern winters.

I totally agree, Larry, and a bunch of friends have been talking about this lately. I remember when I first started to visit TV, people always waved to you - so much that your arm got tired from waving back... I remember giving out name cards to keep connecting with new people, I remember everyone walking around with a smile, not a frown, and with their heads up not looking down. Things have really changed here, we're not sure why, but we're assuming its the overcrowdedness (such a word?) and lack of additional roads and facilities to accommodate so many people. Whatever it is, I'm not looking forward to this winter with the awful crowds in restaurants and on the roads. This makes me extremely sad because I also loved this paradise, but unfortunately, I'm not feeling like its a paradise any longer. SAD! :(

[duffysmom]

I've lived here for over three years and still feel that TV is friendly.
I thank God every morning for the privilege of living here. In the past
we've lived in resort areas and learned to time our outings so that we
avoid crowds during prime time. Everything I want or need is only a cart ride away and that includes international art instructors. When I read the negative comments I wonder if we live in the same community;:ohdear: as a senior I've learned that life is what you make it. Because we feel so blessed we want to convey to wannabes that there are people here who love their life here but aren't as vocal as the nay sayers. :a040:

[pooh]

I've lived here for over three years and still feel that TV is friendly.
I thank God every morning for the privilege of living here. In the past
we've lived in resort areas and learned to time our outings so that we
avoid crowds during prime time. Everything I want or need is only a cart ride away and that includes international art instructors. When I read the negative comments I wonder if we live in the same community;:ohdear: as a senior I've learned that life is what you make it. Because we feel so blessed we want to convey to wannabes that there are people here who love their life here but aren't as vocal as the nay sayers. :a040:

I've lived here for 5 years this week as a matter of fact, and I, too still am thrilled when I am out and about. I wave. Sometimes people don't wave back, but what the heck, maybe they will the next time someone waves at them. Did people wave at others in the communities they came from? Maybe, but then again, maybe not. Is it more crowded? Yes it is, but I've lived in areas that were terribly crowded in the summer and other areas that were crowded in the winter. Guess one just gets used to it and makes adjustments. It's a large community and over time, things do change and either we make adjustments of some sort, or ......


I don't attend some of the classes that are crowded so I don't have that frustration. Even though there's lots of traffic, it's not at all like traffic in cities many of us worked in and lived in. We can always use a golf cart as an alternative to our cars.

TV is a beautiful community, well laid out. Traffic has increased in our community, but as our community grows, so do the surrounding communities. Not all of the traffic is necessarily our own. Restaurants are crowded seasonally...heck, it was the same in communities everyone came from. Trying to eat out on the weekends wasn't easy...restaurants were crowded!

Things are always changing, here and where we lived. Everyone wants peace, quiet, the good old days. Here we have a chance for peace and quiet, but sometimes the good old days were better in our memories than they were in reality.

Everyone wants something different in their retirement years. Here I've found exactly what I want. A beautiful community with many opportunities for fun, learning, physical activity, making friends, enjoying wonderful neighbors who are like family....that's a special blessing when so many of us are so far away from our own families. I'm happy to be a member of TV community.

[Larry Wilson]

I totally agree, Larry, and a bunch of friends have been talking about this lately. I remember when I first started to visit TV, people always waved to you - so much that your arm got tired from waving back... I remember giving out name cards to keep connecting with new people, I remember everyone walking around with a smile, not a frown, and with their heads up not looking down. Things have really changed here, we're not sure why, but we're assuming its the overcrowdedness (such a word?) and lack of additional roads and facilities to accommodate so many people. Whatever it is, I'm not looking forward to this winter with the awful crowds in restaurants and on the roads. This makes me extremely sad because I also loved this paradise, but unfortunately, I'm not feeling like its a paradise any longer. SAD! :(

Thanks Kathy. I'm not a naysayer and neither is Kathy. We are both realists.
I've been here since 2004. It is just a fact that the population has grown and grown fast. My wife and I are in a ton of sports and clubs. (Enjoy them in the summer) Winter is getting tougher and tougher. The more active you are, the more you notice this.
A few examples but there are many more.
Check the statics on golf cart accidents, and car accidents.
People are being turned away from classes. My wife's exercise class has people come an hour early to get a number and stand in a line with that number for an hour to be to let in when the class starts. People who get there a half an hour before class get turned away by the dozens because the class is at capacity. That goes on in all the popular classes. Now that's overcrowding.
I play in three major sports and its getting so you get no play time because there is just too many guys, now that's overcrowding.
Golf and tee times...we play outside the Villages in the winter.
Hours of wait time at every restaurant and sometimes you just are told you can't be served.
Yes Kathy, everybody use to wave and said Hi. We had great times and everybody was your friend. Not anymore. We don't even go to the special events at the squares anymore because it is so crowded. Our friends feel the same way.
I know this is the honeymoon board.( mainly new people here) You are suppose to just love the Villages and all is perfect. Well, it was a much more perfect a few years ago.

[Posh 08]

Thanks Kathy. I'm not a naysayer and neither is Kathy. We are both realists.
I've been here since 2004. It is just a fact that the population has grown and grown fast. My wife and I are in a ton of sports and clubs. (Enjoy them in the summer) Winter is getting tougher and tougher. The more active you are, the more you notice this.
A few examples but there are many more.
Check the statics on golf cart accidents, and car accidents.
People are being turned away from classes. My wife's exercise class has people come an hour early to get a number and stand in a line with that number for an hour to be to let in when the class starts. People who get there a half an hour before class get turned away by the dozens because the class is at capacity. That goes on in all the popular classes. Now that's overcrowding.
I play in three major sports and its getting so you get no play time because there is just too many guys, now that's overcrowding.
Golf and tee times...we play outside the Villages in the winter.
Hours of wait time at every restaurant and sometimes you just are told you can't be served.
Yes Kathy, everybody use to wave and said Hi. We had great times and everybody was your friend. Not anymore. We don't even go to the special events at the squares anymore because it is so crowded. Our friends feel the same way.
I know this is the honeymoon board.( mainly new people here) You are suppose to just love the Villages and all is perfect. Well, it was a much more perfect a few years ago.

I appreciate what you and Kathy are saying. We are weighing all this. Thank you.

[Bryan]

The big test on "politeness" and "reserving your spot" will come this Thursday at Spanish Springs. That is Oktoberfest - parade and all. And, for the second time (first time at Spanish Springs) there is only one parade and that will be at SS. Italianfest had only one parade but that was at LSL, and the weather was less than totally cooperative. Anyway, 8 AM or so on the 27th and I'll bet you dollars to donut holes you can go to the town square as SS and you will already find some "reserved" places on the square and maybe at the eating tables in the streets. The real "fun" (make that "Confrontations") will start later in the day, say around 2 to 3 PM and increase in frequency until the parade actually starts at 4 PM. In the past, I have seen near fist fights over "reserved seating" (the Entertainment Department will tell you there is no such thing at either square but they do nothing to enforce that). This year, I predict it will be more than "near" fist fights, especially if we have beautiful weather and large crowds.

[Dirigo]

I've lived here for 5 years this week as a matter of fact, and I, too still am thrilled when I am out and about. I wave. Sometimes people don't wave back, but what the heck, maybe they will the next time someone waves at them. Did people wave at others in the communities they came from? Maybe, but then again, maybe not. Is it more crowded? Yes it is, but I've lived in areas that were terribly crowded in the summer and other areas that were crowded in the winter. Guess one just gets used to it and makes adjustments. It's a large community and over time, things do change and either we make adjustments of some sort, or ......


I don't attend some of the classes that are crowded so I don't have that frustration. Even though there's lots of traffic, it's not at all like traffic in cities many of us worked in and lived in. We can always use a golf cart as an alternative to our cars.

TV is a beautiful community, well laid out. Traffic has increased in our community, but as our community grows, so do the surrounding communities. Not all of the traffic is necessarily our own. Restaurants are crowded seasonally...heck, it was the same in communities everyone came from. Trying to eat out on the weekends wasn't easy...restaurants were crowded!

Things are always changing, here and where we lived. Everyone wants peace, quiet, the good old days. Here we have a chance for peace and quiet, but sometimes the good old days were better in our memories than they were in reality.

Everyone wants something different in their retirement years. Here I've found exactly what I want. A beautiful community with many opportunities for fun, learning, physical activity, making friends, enjoying wonderful neighbors who are like family....that's a special blessing when so many of us are so far away from our own families. I'm happy to be a member of TV community.

Well said Pooh...great attitude!

[pooh]

Well said Pooh...great attitude!

Thank you.

It isn't my intention to get into a p*****g contest with those who are experiencing less than friendly situations because I realize they really are seeing a change in attitude more than in the past, but I must say that crowded classes seasonally isn't new. I've experienced it, also. We arrived early for class and found it was full so I decided that some other activity could be undertaken. The town squares were filled to capacity when certain events took place or when certain performers were playing. In all honesty, after you've been to parades and events in the square, you might not need to experience them as often. It is crowded, as it would be in any other city. Is it fun? Obviously it is for many because they still come, community members and those who live in the surrounding areas.
One thing to consider is that all the shops and restaurants in our town squares and in the areas immediately surrounding the community need more than Villagers to survive. While we as a community do eat out quite often, we aren't enough alone. Shops need customers and after a while, we might not need what a particular shop is selling...and the same will hold true for others. So the larger the customer base, the more chance a shop will continue to stay in an area.

New Villagers are arriving daily .... many are just new to this experience of having their time as their own...no work deadlines, no rush hour traffic, no business travel, airport delays, smog, extreme cold, freezing pipes in their houses, etc. and they maintain older attitudes still. Give them a chance. Continue to be friendly, who knows, you might just touch someone's icy attitude with a warm ray of sunshine.

Is the place perfect? Heck no, it isn't, but it's pretty close. It's what we make it and I prefer not to let those few that are nasty to mess with my head.

Cripes, I sound like a cheering squad... ;) Didn't mean to, it's just that personally, I find more pluses than negatives around here

[swimdawg]

I appreciate what you and Kathy are saying. We are weighing all this. Thank you.

And the purpose of sharing and focusing on the negatives is......
..........so we "newbies" know both sides of the story? Should I thank you?

I live in an area close to Niagara Falls. Back in the "olden days" ...several years ago...it used to be a piece of cake to get around in my area. Now the Canadians are coming in droves.....especially on weekends. It can be bumper-to-bumper for me to get anywhere. The shopping is wonderful here for Canadians.....we have great restaurants. It's reasonable to shop and eat here. Now........I could rant and rave about how the Canadians are taking over our area....but the bottom line is....hey........they are really nice people...and they are helping our economy.

In fact, every once in awhile, I meet up with a couple from Canada for a bite to eat. It turned out their daughter was in the LPGA. They invited me to go to two LPGA's...one here and one in Canada. I went to both.....met a lot of the famous LPGA golfers.....had a great time!

So........either your glass is half full or half empty. And I almost forgot....I will probably be one of those snowbirds. Yikes! :eek:

[angiefox10]

Regardless of all this talk of the way things have changed.... I still can't wait to get there! :a040:

[Bosoxfan]

:bigbow::mademyday::BigApplause:I've lived here for 5 years this week as a matter of fact, and I, too still am thrilled when I am out and about. I wave. Sometimes people don't wave back, but what the heck, maybe they will the next time someone waves at them. Did people wave at others in the communities they came from? Maybe, but then again, maybe not. Is it more crowded? Yes it is, but I've lived in areas that were terribly crowded in the summer and other areas that were crowded in the winter. Guess one just gets used to it and makes adjustments. It's a large community and over time, things do change and either we make adjustments of some sort, or ......


I don't attend some of the classes that are crowded so I don't have that frustration. Even though there's lots of traffic, it's not at all like traffic in cities many of us worked in and lived in. We can always use a golf cart as an alternative to our cars.

TV is a beautiful community, well laid out. Traffic has increased in our community, but as our community grows, so do the surrounding communities. Not all of the traffic is necessarily our own. Restaurants are crowded seasonally...heck, it was the same in communities everyone came from. Trying to eat out on the weekends wasn't easy...restaurants were crowded!

Things are always changing, here and where we lived. Everyone wants peace, quiet, the good old days. Here we have a chance for peace and quiet, but sometimes the good old days were better in our memories than they were in reality.

Everyone wants something different in their retirement years. Here I've found exactly what I want. A beautiful community with many opportunities for fun, learning, physical activity, making friends, enjoying wonderful neighbors who are like family....that's a special blessing when so many of us are so far away from our own families. I'm happy to be a member of TV community.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

:popcorn:

Bill :)

[Trish Crocker]

Maybe I'm naive but it seems to me that if I don't want to wait in line at a restaurant, I can always eat at home or go outside of the villages. What about eating at different times? Are the restaurants always lined up or can I go for lunch at 2:00? It's been my experience that most people react to how others treat them, is it possible that some of the people in TV that have lived there a while are projecting their attitude and resentment to others? When you first move into an area, everyone is a stranger and the tendency is to try to make friends...once you have been there a while, you no longer have the need to accumulate more friends, you are quite content with the status quo..therefore you may not make the friendship efforts that you have in the past. When this occurs, you subconsciously miss the 'friendliness' that was there originally, when in all actuality you are partially responsible for it happening. If you want to test this theory, next time you are out and about, pretend you are new there...greet people you don't know with the same enthusiasm you used in the beginning...see if there is a difference. I can't wait to get down there...I will be a grinning, waving fool!:girlneener:

[graciegirl]

Maybe I'm naive but it seems to me that if I don't want to wait in line at a restaurant, I can always eat at home or go outside of the villages. What about eating at different times? Are the restaurants always lined up or can I go for lunch at 2:00? It's been my experience that most people react to how others treat them, is it possible that some of the people in TV that have lived there a while are projecting their attitude and resentment to others? When you first move into an area, everyone is a stranger and the tendency is to try to make friends...once you have been there a while, you no longer have the need to accumulate more friends, you are quite content with the status quo..therefore you may not make the friendship efforts that you have in the past. When this occurs, you subconsciously miss the 'friendliness' that was there originally, when in all actuality you are partially responsible for it happening. If you want to test this theory, next time you are out and about, pretend you are new there...greet people you don't know with the same enthusiasm you used in the beginning...see if there is a difference. I can't wait to get down there...I will be a grinning, waving fool!:girlneener:

I think you have made a very good point and I agree...as I usually do.

I cannot WAIT until you get down here.

[pooh]

Maybe I'm naive but it seems to me that if I don't want to wait in line at a restaurant, I can always eat at home or go outside of the villages. What about eating at different times? Are the restaurants always lined up or can I go for lunch at 2:00? It's been my experience that most people react to how others treat them, is it possible that some of the people in TV that have lived there a while are projecting their attitude and resentment to others? When you first move into an area, everyone is a stranger and the tendency is to try to make friends...once you have been there a while, you no longer have the need to accumulate more friends, you are quite content with the status quo..therefore you may not make the friendship efforts that you have in the past. When this occurs, you subconsciously miss the 'friendliness' that was there originally, when in all actuality you are partially responsible for it happening. If you want to test this theory, next time you are out and about, pretend you are new there...greet people you don't know with the same enthusiasm you used in the beginning...see if there is a difference. I can't wait to get down there...I will be a grinning, waving fool!:girlneener:

You bring up a valid point. When we are here for a while, or anywhere as a matter of fact, we tend to develop a drawbridge mentality. Draw up the gates, we have enough people here. Think it's just part of the human being experience. In some cases, the drawbridge feeling is justified...some areas aren't built to support quite as many people. Is that true here? I'm not sure yet. The place is still a work in progress.

And to answer your question, yes you can take lunch at "off peak" times and not find you're waiting for a table or waiting for a server. In season, I can't deny, it's crowded, but how many times does one have to eat out? After you've been here for a while, and you've gained some extra poundage from all that eating out, it seems to lack the appeal it initially had.... ;) So many things one does when they are newly retired and new to The Villages might just not happen as often as it did when everything was bright, new, fun and you were feeling like a kid in a candy store. Oh, the place still has that wonderful appeal, but you might just be a bit more selective in how and where you decide to spend your time....time, the most precious gift we have. Use it wisely, it's not something easily replaced.

[pooh]

And what cartoon just happened to appear today.....:icon_wink::icon_wink::icon_wink:

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r198/psylviaod/a8b4c340d678012e2f9b00163e41dd5b.gif

[Larry Wilson]

LOL. Topic was saving a spot in an exercise class....When I moved here there was plenty of spots for everybody in everything. No one was saving. No numbers, lines, or turning people away. I have many friends who have moved from here- so they don't have to fight for a spot or worry about parking, car accidents, golf cart accidents, getting play time, etc. etc. etc. I do visit other places.

I get pms all the time from people less than enchanted living here because a pm is the only way they dare tell me their stories. The everything is perfect crowd would beat them to death if they posted here.


I am going to channel my energy in to trying to make this place better. I choose to still live here and I see a lot of positive but I see the huge impact of overpopulation.

Yes I do want people who are thinking about moving here to know both sides.
The Villages puts a ton of money into controlling everything to sell more houses.
One of the reasons that they never let TOTV run an ad in the Sun is they couldn't control what would be said on this board. You rarely ever get to see anything wrong until it happens to you. They don't need any help in marketing this place. I and everyone who lives here has paid for that high marketing budget. Like every place which puts a ton into telling you how great it is...there is always another side.

For you people who like to try to psycho anyone who doesn't say what you want.... I'm a very very happy person with a great life. I know of no one who has it better than me. I'm off to have some fun!!!

[pooh]

I thought it was a funny cartoon, too, Larry....and you're right, the topic originally was about the availability of spots at various classes. Oh how we can stray offtopic, but in reality, they are related.

Maybe we were more fortunate than some others when we were looking. Our sales agent was more than honest about situations....especially about the golf scheduling situation. It was something we were comfortable with...having had a more difficult time with getting tee times at the country club we belonged to. This particular method seemed more fair. Again, off topic, sorry. Classes are indeed crowded during peak season here...and they always were as far as I can tell. In some instances guests of Villagers were taking up spaces that probably should have been saved for community members. I think that situation has been addressed, but I'm not totally certain. In my estimation, there seems to be a difference in attitudes between those who are here as frogs and a few who are new to TV and not frogs, I said a few not all...they don't have much time to spend here and want to utilize their amenities fee to the max. I can understand that even if they sometimes forget it's their option not to be here full time. I've also heard some, again a FEW, say that froggies have all summer to use the facilities...not really a good attitude if I'm cutting them some slack, but soon, they'll adjust too and take up another interest.

Other communities may be less crowded, have some facilities, but they don't have as many and as many recreaction facilities...golf courses, pools, tennis courts, pickleball courts, etc. Everyone has to decide what suits them in this particular point of their lives. Some want hustle and bustle, others prefer something more serene or sedate.

Again, is the area too crowded? For some, obviously it is and they have been unfortunate enough to meet some who are selfish, nasty and think only of themselves and to hell with others. At this time, at least for my household, I'm not too bothered by those who need to be first, the best or have things their way. Hopefully I'll not change my feelings about those situations because right now, I'll just smile. Keeps them guessing... ;) I'm trying to learn how to sign. Maybe I'll not sign "What are you trying to tell me," as Doodlegirl posted, but something else entirely.... ;) Oh, I'm bad.

[mgm4444]

IMHO, I think it's generational. People brought up in the '40's and '50's have different morals, character, ethics then the generations after that. The 50's everyone lived the life of June and Ward and "Happy Days", the 60's we had the Rock-n-Roll Revolution, Woodstock, the War, Women's Lib, the 70's had disco, Jane Fonda outburst, Watergate and on and on and on. This changes our culture as a country and generation.

What I'm NOT saying is people born in the 60's, 70's lack morals, character or ethics. I'm just saying with each generation that goes by, less people put stock in these qualities as the older generations. And it shows.

I also know alot of older folks who think they have the "right" to speak their mind in any fashion they desire, because they've hit a certain age and they are entitled to do just that.

I actually play a game with myself and guess what generation the people on here came from. I'm right alot, but sometimes I'm wrong..

It's sad. I wish it was still like in the 50's.

[Barefoot]

Thanks Kathy. I'm not a naysayer and neither is Kathy. I know this is the honeymoon board.( mainly new people here) You are suppose to just love the Villages and all is perfect. Well, it was a much more perfect a few years ago.

We only live in our TV home from November to May each year. So to us, the winter crowds are normal. But I have to say that I'm getting emails from a lot of TV friends who've grown disenchanted with the Villages lifestyle. They say too many people with fewer and fewer available choices. Larry, I'm laughing at your description of TOTV as "the Honeymoon Board". But it's true ... "Seldom is heard, a discouraging word". ... Or did I hear that in a song?

[pooh]

We only live in our TV home from November to May each year. So to us, the winter crowds are normal. But I have to say that I'm getting emails from a lot of TV friends who've grown disenchanted with the Villages lifestyle. They say too many people with fewer and fewer available choices. Larry, I'm laughing at your description of TOTV as "the Honeymoon Board". But it's true .. naysayers will be spanked and sent to bed without dinner!
Okay, you have friends who aren't happy....what about you, Barefoot? Do you feel you need to move?

Honeymoon board? Well, I don't feel it's like that. Those who love it here might not be impacted by what others are. Some who aren't too bothered may be from large cities where the congestion makes TV look like a ghost town. It's probably all a matter of perspective and has a lot to do with what you've come from and what you envision. Maybe after time, people need a different environment. Circumstances change, desires, likes, feelings change.

I'm around a lot today because I'm literally waiting for paint to dry.... ;)

[Barefoot]

[QUOTE=pooh;409144]Okay, you have friends who aren't happy....what about you, Barefoot? Do you feel you need to move?[quote]

We just sold our CYV last year and moved to a larger home in TV. So no, we're not planning to move. My husband has made it very clear to me that there are no moving trucks in our future.

[Pturner]

I've lived here for 5 years this week as a matter of fact, and I, too still am thrilled when I am out and about. I wave. Sometimes people don't wave back, but what the heck, maybe they will the next time someone waves at them. Did people wave at others in the communities they came from? Maybe, but then again, maybe not. Is it more crowded? Yes it is, but I've lived in areas that were terribly crowded in the summer and other areas that were crowded in the winter. Guess one just gets used to it and makes adjustments. It's a large community and over time, things do change and either we make adjustments of some sort, or ......


I don't attend some of the classes that are crowded so I don't have that frustration. Even though there's lots of traffic, it's not at all like traffic in cities many of us worked in and lived in. We can always use a golf cart as an alternative to our cars.

TV is a beautiful community, well laid out. Traffic has increased in our community, but as our community grows, so do the surrounding communities. Not all of the traffic is necessarily our own. Restaurants are crowded seasonally...heck, it was the same in communities everyone came from. Trying to eat out on the weekends wasn't easy...restaurants were crowded!

Things are always changing, here and where we lived. Everyone wants peace, quiet, the good old days. Here we have a chance for peace and quiet, but sometimes the good old days were better in our memories than they were in reality.

Everyone wants something different in their retirement years. Here I've found exactly what I want. A beautiful community with many opportunities for fun, learning, physical activity, making friends, enjoying wonderful neighbors who are like family....that's a special blessing when so many of us are so far away from our own families. I'm happy to be a member of TV community.

You have expressed my sentiments better than I could. Me, I still wave.

Maybe I'm naive but it seems to me that if I don't want to wait in line at a restaurant, I can always eat at home or go outside of the villages. What about eating at different times? Are the restaurants always lined up or can I go for lunch at 2:00? It's been my experience that most people react to how others treat them, is it possible that some of the people in TV that have lived there a while are projecting their attitude and resentment to others? When you first move into an area, everyone is a stranger and the tendency is to try to make friends...once you have been there a while, you no longer have the need to accumulate more friends, you are quite content with the status quo..therefore you may not make the friendship efforts that you have in the past. When this occurs, you subconsciously miss the 'friendliness' that was there originally, when in all actuality you are partially responsible for it happening. If you want to test this theory, next time you are out and about, pretend you are new there...greet people you don't know with the same enthusiasm you used in the beginning...see if there is a difference. I can't wait to get down there...I will be a grinning, waving fool!:girlneener:

Excellent points, Trish.

Another point to consider is that having the best and most amenities can be a double-edged sword. Of course more people want to live there! One could move to a community with fewer amenities and might not face overcrowding-- but they wouldn't have restaurants on site (as an option), free live music any ole night they choose, as many golf courses to play, as many sports, art classes, clubs, etc. Nor could businesses here thrive and stay viable if we were all able, as we might like, to close the door behind us.

So yes, there's a price to pay for having the best and most amenities. I know I can't shut the door behind me and keep TV the size it was when I purchased here. So the question is, are the beauty, the wonderful friendships, the cart paths and ample amenities worth the seasonal crowding. For me, the answer is a resounding yes. But it's a question all of us can answer only for ourselves.

[Dirigo]

I will be a grinning, waving fool!:girlneener:

When the lovely Diane and I discovered TV in the late 1990s we were impressed that everyone waved at us even though we were just day visitors to the area.

On our Lifestyle Preview in 2008 and when we rented last winter, we were smiling and waving fools too...and most folks waved back...but few initiated the wave. I think as TV gets bigger it will lose some of what it had in the beginning...but it is still the best place for our retirement.

Another thing to consider is everything south of 466 was built since 2004 when credit was cheap and easy and we had virtually full employment. Perhaps many folks you meet on the streets and shops and clubs and restaurants have some financial stress and therefore they might not be as happy as they wish they could be.

Smile and wave every chance you get. Its infectious...and it makes you feel good.

[pooh]

You have expressed my sentiments better than I could. Me, I still wave.



Excellent points, Trish.

Another point to consider is that having the best and most amenities can be a double-edged sword. Of course more people want to live there! One could move to a community with fewer amenities and might not face overcrowding-- but they wouldn't have restaurants on site (as an option), free live music any ole night they choose, as many golf courses to play, as many sports, art classes, clubs, etc. Nor could businesses here thrive and stay viable if we were all able, as we might like, to close the door behind us.

So yes, there's a price to pay for having the best and most amenities. I know I can't shut the door behind me and keep TV the size it was when I purchased here. So the question is, are the beauty, the wonderful friendships, the cart paths and ample amenities worth the seasonal crowding. For me, the answer is a resounding yes. But it's a question all of us can answer only for ourselves.

Your right, PT....you brought up very valid points.

The season does bring joy to me, though, friends return!

[MustangSally]

Wow! All of your comments on "That's My Spot" post just made me decide what to do with our 3rd bedroom! We have enough exercise equipment to fill the room which can all be folded up when we have guests. I don't mind exercising on my own when classes are crowded and then joining the classes in less crowded times. That way we get more use out of the room anyway. One of the things my husband and I have relished in our retirement is the ability to be flexible, which now sometimes means avoiding rush hour and/or crowds that we don't wish to be a part of. We've learned to enjoy doing things at different times to add some variety to our lives and know that we'll even enjoy some of the crowded activities in TV that we've not had the opportunity to previously experience. Same thing with the restaurants. On our last visit, our new friends introduced us to the 4-5 PM, $5 - $6, Gator's menu. It not only saved us some money but allowed us some early evening (and different) activities that we might otherwise not have had the opportunity to enjoy. After 3 visits (and reading TOTV comments), I got over my initial "utopia" impression of TV. To us, it still beats every place else we've been and offers a wonderful lifestyle with (mostly) wonderful people to live out the rest of our lives. Life is too short to dwell on the negative. We can't wait to get to our new home in 2012 in the Village of St. James!! Thanks to all for setting realistic expectations on living in The Villages. "Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice."

[NYMAN]

you should have told that woman that had she gotten there early it would still be her spot but now its my spot.:wave:

[Doodlegirl]

So many pressures from economic, social, moral stressors may be contributing to "The Me Generation Grown Up"...this isn't our parents retirement years. It just may be that "I" get angry not at the person
who took "my spot", but that I've been thinking that my son just lost
his job at IBM after 25 years and I may now need to help him, that
my 401K tanked and I am wondering how much longer I can afford to
live in Lower Paradise, that the home I'm selling back in Anytown has
been on the market for nearly two years and potential buyers cannot
pass the credit issues to purchase and I'm beginning to feel the financial
belt buckle at my waist, that my physician called me yesterday afternoon
and the results of my stress test are not good.......

We come together now at a different period in history, we come when
core values are changing, or in some cases changed. We come from
a vast diversity of ethnic, racial, cultural, political and social mores and values.

And, we come with both real and percieved expectations from areas
where what we knew was a certain way of life and most of us at an
age when the end is closer than the beginning.

If one subscribes to the poliitical forum on TOTV it is clear there are
a number of grown up bully's; rampant anger; and negativity so shockingly
alive and well there. Translate that to activities such as a spot in an
exercise class and we can clearly see some people do exist in anger.
Disproportionally, perhaps, but do exist.

I've chosen to live here because I recognize I have plenty of time and space
to find the older, happier, gentler me! I can go and come with little expectation...sometimes a crowd, sometimes a walk along the Lake Sumter
Landing Boardwalk. My neighbors are terrific, and I enjoy a sense of peace.
If something is too crowded, I may leave. Lots of good television or kindle or
books at home. TV will never be all things to all people, it is really a question of how happy and satisfied we are within our own space, our own head so to speak. I am convinced the Schwartz-Morse family got it right, but as we live here, we must still remain all that WE hoped we would be and would become.

Bad behavior, impolite people, crudeness, rudeness...any of these may be exacerbated by age and space and "things". Fortunately, there are thousands and thousands of 'good' folks living here happily and amieably.
I try and make big circles around trouble. Had enough of that in my career
working with sick, sad, sorry people. There is no magic wand here in TV,
but if we are lucky, we just might find pixie dust all around us. I have.
And that is all I asked of myself for the third, third.

[pooh]

So many pressures from economic, social, moral stressors may be contributing to "The Me Generation Grown Up"...this isn't our parents retirement years. It just may be that "I" get angry not at the person
who took "my spot", but that I've been thinking that my son just lost
his job at IBM after 25 years and I may now need to help him, that
my 401K tanked and I am wondering how much longer I can afford to
live in Lower Paradise, that the home I'm selling back in Anytown has
been on the market for nearly two years and potential buyers cannot
pass the credit issues to purchase and I'm beginning to feel the financial
belt buckle at my waist, that my physician called me yesterday afternoon
and the results of my stress test are not good.......

We come together now at a different period in history, we come when
core values are changing, or in some cases changed. We come from
a vast diversity of ethnic, racial, cultural, political and social mores and values.

And, we come with both real and percieved expectations from areas
where what we knew was a certain way of life and most of us at an
age when the end is closer than the beginning.

If one subscribes to the poliitical forum on TOTV it is clear there are
a number of grown up bully's; rampant anger; and negativity so shockingly
alive and well there. Translate that to activities such as a spot in an
exercise class and we can clearly see some people do exist in anger.
Disproportionally, perhaps, but do exist.

I've chosen to live here because I recognize I have plenty of time and space
to find the older, happier, gentler me! I can go and come with little expectation...sometimes a crowd, sometimes a walk along the Lake Sumter
Landing Boardwalk. My neighbors are terrific, and I enjoy a sense of peace.
If something is too crowded, I may leave. Lots of good television or kindle or
books at home. TV will never be all things to all people, it is really a question of how happy and satisfied we are within our own space, our own head so to speak. I am convinced the Schwartz-Morse family got it right, but as we live here, we must still remain all that WE hoped we would be and would become.

Bad behavior, impolite people, crudeness, rudeness...any of these may be exacerbated by age and space and "things". Fortunately, there are thousands and thousands of 'good' folks living here happily and amieably.
I try and make big circles around trouble. Had enough of that in my career
working with sick, sad, sorry people. There is no magic wand here in TV,
but if we are lucky, we just might find pixie dust all around us. I have.
And that is all I asked of myself for the third, third.

Wonderfully said, Doodlegirl:BigApplause:

[Uptown Girl]

I agree with everything you have said, Doodlegirl... but I still maintain that no matter what the circumstance, an individual still makes a choice to be civil, polite or otherwise.

People behave the way they do because that's what they WANT to do, be or say, even if it is in the moment. The reasons don't really matter.

And if someone acts 'out of character' (for whatever reason) and regrets it, they usually make amends and guard their impulses in the future.

Those who don't..... don't WANT to. I have no sympathy for them. Pity maybe, but no sympathy.

[graciegirl]

It is so wonderful to catch a glimpse of the insides of kind and caring and thoughtful people. I love this forum.

[ilovetv]

After reading Doodlegirl's post....

I have a different take on the economic and social stressors she mentioned in the first section.

I think television and extremely biased t.v. "news" networks (ALL of them) have created a lot of envy.

I think the "It's MINE" and "I NEED more" mentalities have grown out of seeing distorted pictures of what televised fictional characters or other real people have, that we don't.

And then there is what we've been led to believe we "need" and are "owed" thru television advertising and campaigning politicians on television.

Where, besides in a few radio programs that teach debt-free living, are we taught to be content with what we have without borrowing more money than what we can actually repay?? Credit card offers flow like drinking water!

[dillywho]

Wow! All of your comments on "That's My Spot" post just made me decide what to do with our 3rd bedroom! We have enough exercise equipment to fill the room which can all be folded up when we have guests. I don't mind exercising on my own when classes are crowded and then joining the classes in less crowded times. That way we get more use out of the room anyway. One of the things my husband and I have relished in our retirement is the ability to be flexible, which now sometimes means avoiding rush hour and/or crowds that we don't wish to be a part of. We've learned to enjoy doing things at different times to add some variety to our lives and know that we'll even enjoy some of the crowded activities in TV that we've not had the opportunity to previously experience. Same thing with the restaurants. On our last visit, our new friends introduced us to the 4-5 PM, $5 - $6, Gator's menu. It not only saved us some money but allowed us some early evening (and different) activities that we might otherwise not have had the opportunity to enjoy. After 3 visits (and reading TOTV comments), I got over my initial "utopia" impression of TV. To us, it still beats every place else we've been and offers a wonderful lifestyle with (mostly) wonderful people to live out the rest of our lives. Life is too short to dwell on the negative. We can't wait to get to our new home in 2012 in the Village of St. James!! Thanks to all for setting realistic expectations on living in The Villages. "Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice."

Great solutions, Sally. There is always a way...we just have to sometimes be resourceful and find it.

Case in point: I had a bad experience one day when I went to play single deck pinochle at one of the rec centers. Without going into all the gory details, the attitude of the group was enough that I never went back. (BTW, I am not a novice so that was not the problem.) I was made to feel like such an outsider and that was not what I was looking for. Solution: I started a group, taught others to play (we have some experienced players as well), and insist that "not always the best play is not the end of the world". We have a great group, lots of fun, lots of laughs and a welcome interlude to any not-so-good things that might be going on with any of us. We would be happy to have more players at any time.

[2BNTV]

So many pressures from economic, social, moral stressors may be contributing to "The Me Generation Grown Up"...this isn't our parents retirement years. It just may be that "I" get angry not at the person
who took "my spot", but that I've been thinking that my son just lost
his job at IBM after 25 years and I may now need to help him, that
my 401K tanked and I am wondering how much longer I can afford to
live in Lower Paradise, that the home I'm selling back in Anytown has
been on the market for nearly two years and potential buyers cannot
pass the credit issues to purchase and I'm beginning to feel the financial
belt buckle at my waist, that my physician called me yesterday afternoon
and the results of my stress test are not good.......

We come together now at a different period in history, we come when
core values are changing, or in some cases changed. We come from
a vast diversity of ethnic, racial, cultural, political and social mores and values.

And, we come with both real and percieved expectations from areas
where what we knew was a certain way of life and most of us at an
age when the end is closer than the beginning.

If one subscribes to the poliitical forum on TOTV it is clear there are
a number of grown up bully's; rampant anger; and negativity so shockingly
alive and well there. Translate that to activities such as a spot in an
exercise class and we can clearly see some people do exist in anger.
Disproportionally, perhaps, but do exist.

I've chosen to live here because I recognize I have plenty of time and space
to find the older, happier, gentler me! I can go and come with little expectation...sometimes a crowd, sometimes a walk along the Lake Sumter
Landing Boardwalk. My neighbors are terrific, and I enjoy a sense of peace.
If something is too crowded, I may leave. Lots of good television or kindle or
books at home. TV will never be all things to all people, it is really a question of how happy and satisfied we are within our own space, our own head so to speak. I am convinced the Schwartz-Morse family got it right, but as we live here, we must still remain all that WE hoped we would be and would become.

Bad behavior, impolite people, crudeness, rudeness...any of these may be exacerbated by age and space and "things". Fortunately, there are thousands and thousands of 'good' folks living here happily and amieably.
I try and make big circles around trouble. Had enough of that in my career
working with sick, sad, sorry people. There is no magic wand here in TV,
but if we are lucky, we just might find pixie dust all around us. I have.
And that is all I asked of myself for the third, third.

Elegant and thoughtful. Bravo!!!!!!!


:BigApplause: :BigApplause: :BigApplause:

[Barefoot]

So many pressures from economic, social, moral stressors may be contributing to "The Me Generation Grown Up"...this isn't our parents retirement years. It just may be that "I" get angry not at the person
who took "my spot", but that I've been thinking that my son just lost
his job at IBM after 25 years and I may now need to help him, that
my 401K tanked and I am wondering how much longer I can afford to
live in Lower Paradise, that the home I'm selling back in Anytown has
been on the market for nearly two years and potential buyers cannot
pass the credit issues to purchase and I'm beginning to feel the financial
belt buckle at my waist, that my physician called me yesterday afternoon
and the results of my stress test are not good.......

We come together now at a different period in history, we come when
core values are changing, or in some cases changed. We come from
a vast diversity of ethnic, racial, cultural, political and social mores and values.

And, we come with both real and percieved expectations from areas
where what we knew was a certain way of life and most of us at an
age when the end is closer than the beginning.

If one subscribes to the poliitical forum on TOTV it is clear there are
a number of grown up bully's; rampant anger; and negativity so shockingly
alive and well there. Translate that to activities such as a spot in an
exercise class and we can clearly see some people do exist in anger.
Disproportionally, perhaps, but do exist.

I've chosen to live here because I recognize I have plenty of time and space
to find the older, happier, gentler me! I can go and come with little
expectation...sometimes a crowd, sometimes a walk along the Lake Sumter
Landing Boardwalk. My neighbors are terrific, and I enjoy a sense of peace.

If something is too crowded, I may leave. Lots of good television or kindle or
books at home. TV will never be all things to all people, it is really a question of how happy and satisfied we are within our own space, our own head so to
speak. I am convinced the Schwartz-Morse family got it right, but as we live here, we must still remain all that WE hoped we would be and would become.

Bad behavior, impolite people, crudeness, rudeness...any of these may be
exacerbated by age and space and "things". Fortunately, there are thousands and thousands of 'good' folks living here happily and amieably.

I try and make big circles around trouble. Had enough of that in my career
working with sick, sad, sorry people. There is no magic wand here in TV,
but if we are lucky, we just might find pixie dust all around us. I have.

And that is all I asked of myself for the third, third.

What a lovely, thoughtful post.

[BigLew]

After reading Doodlegirl's post....

I have a different take on the economic and social stressors she mentioned in the first section.

I think television and extremely biased t.v. "news" networks (ALL of them) have created a lot of envy.

I think the "It's MINE" and "I NEED more" mentalities have grown out of seeing distorted pictures of what televised fictional characters or other real people have, that we don't.

And then there is what we've been led to believe we "need" and are "owed" thru television advertising and campaigning politicians on television.

Where, besides in a few radio programs that teach debt-free living, are we taught to be content with what we have without borrowing more money than what we can actually repay?? Credit card offers flow like drinking water!

Life has taught me many things but foremost, in an economic sense, is to never belly up to the retail bar, discover for yourself the difference between want and need. If you learn that then you gain a certain immunity to the 'trumped' up reality that television wants to portray.

[Dirigo]

After reading Doodlegirl's post....

I have a different take on the economic and social stressors she mentioned in the first section.

I think television and extremely biased t.v. "news" networks (ALL of them) have created a lot of envy.

I think the "It's MINE" and "I NEED more" mentalities have grown out of seeing distorted pictures of what televised fictional characters or other real people have, that we don't.

And then there is what we've been led to believe we "need" and are "owed" thru television advertising and campaigning politicians on television.

Where, besides in a few radio programs that teach debt-free living, are we taught to be content with what we have without borrowing more money than what we can actually repay?? Credit card offers flow like drinking water!

We don't have cable or satellite television. To say I dislike commercials would be putting it mildly. We watch movies and tv shows on Netflix. We stopped watching national news a couple of years.

We are debt free and enjoy the financial peace that was inspired by a radio program that taught debt-free living. We live within our means and do not use credit.

[Pturner]

So many pressures from economic, social, moral stressors may be contributing to "The Me Generation Grown Up"...this isn't our parents retirement years. It just may be that "I" get angry not at the person
who took "my spot", but that I've been thinking that my son just lost
his job at IBM after 25 years and I may now need to help him, that
my 401K tanked and I am wondering how much longer I can afford to
live in Lower Paradise, that the home I'm selling back in Anytown has
been on the market for nearly two years and potential buyers cannot
pass the credit issues to purchase and I'm beginning to feel the financial
belt buckle at my waist, that my physician called me yesterday afternoon
and the results of my stress test are not good.......

We come together now at a different period in history, we come when
core values are changing, or in some cases changed. We come from
a vast diversity of ethnic, racial, cultural, political and social mores and values.

And, we come with both real and percieved expectations from areas
where what we knew was a certain way of life and most of us at an
age when the end is closer than the beginning.

If one subscribes to the poliitical forum on TOTV it is clear there are
a number of grown up bully's; rampant anger; and negativity so shockingly
alive and well there. Translate that to activities such as a spot in an
exercise class and we can clearly see some people do exist in anger.
Disproportionally, perhaps, but do exist.

I've chosen to live here because I recognize I have plenty of time and space
to find the older, happier, gentler me! I can go and come with little expectation...sometimes a crowd, sometimes a walk along the Lake Sumter
Landing Boardwalk. My neighbors are terrific, and I enjoy a sense of peace.
If something is too crowded, I may leave. Lots of good television or kindle or
books at home. TV will never be all things to all people, it is really a question of how happy and satisfied we are within our own space, our own head so to speak. I am convinced the Schwartz-Morse family got it right, but as we live here, we must still remain all that WE hoped we would be and would become.

Bad behavior, impolite people, crudeness, rudeness...any of these may be exacerbated by age and space and "things". Fortunately, there are thousands and thousands of 'good' folks living here happily and amieably.
I try and make big circles around trouble. Had enough of that in my career
working with sick, sad, sorry people. There is no magic wand here in TV,
but if we are lucky, we just might find pixie dust all around us. I have.
And that is all I asked of myself for the third, third.

Doodlegirl,
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing some of your pixie dust!