When insults had "class"

[Bill-n-Brillo]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words......

· A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
· "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

· "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

· "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

· "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

· "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

· "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

· "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

· "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

· "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
· "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

· "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

· "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

· "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

· "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

· "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

· "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

· "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

· "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

· "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

· "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

· "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

· "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

· "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


Bill :)

[quirky3]

:mademyday: :1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

[2BNTV]

:BigApplause: :BigApplause: :BigApplause:

Love the post. Can I use this one?

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

[dfn8tly]

Ah, what a joy to read these superb remarks.

[graciegirl]

There just ain't nuthin' like CLEVER and WITTY and DIPLOMATIC!!:bigbow:

[HelenLCSW]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words......

· A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
· "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

· "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

· "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

· "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

· "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

· "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

· "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

· "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

· "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
· "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

· "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

· "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

· "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

· "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

· "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

· "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

· "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

· "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

· "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

· "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

· "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

· "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

· "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


Bill :)
Love it!!! Thanks for sharing --

[Boudicca]

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Winston Churchill

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
Winston Churchill

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
Winston Churchill

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives, I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
Winston Churchill

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
Winston Churchill

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
Winston Churchill

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/winston_churchill.html#ixzz1bAf9Jtdj

[angiefox10]

All of these are PERFECT!!!! Thanks! :)

[Pturner]

There just ain't nuthin' like CLEVER and WITTY and DIPLOMATIC!!:bigbow:

What she said. I love these.

[eweissenbach]

The perfect squelch is the one which makes the point while making you look above the fray. Good stuff!

[jblum315]

I've always liked this one (also attributed to Mr.Churchill)
Lady to gentleman at dinner table: "If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."
Gentleman to lady: "If I were your husband, ma'am, I'd drink it."