Ten Myths about Introverts

[quirky3]

In a world full of extroverts, here are a few understanding points about introverts - that is, if there any in TV!! (I hope there are).

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

[Uptown Girl]

I never saw this as a list before. Thank You a whole lotses! for posting it, Quirky!

[graciegirl]

In a world full of extroverts, here are a few understanding points about introverts - that is, if there any in TV!! (I hope there are).

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Extremely interesting and very correct as far as my experience goes. Thank you Quirky.

[lightworker888]

and they are often as not married to an extrovert! Since we have figured it out after many years of being in confusion, we now plan our mutual activities so that there is some recharging time between events that have a lot of people and conversation. That's why TV is so perfect for us because I can go line dancing and clogging and ukelele playing on my own to connect with people and he can recharge at home surfing the net to find the answers to all the philosophical questions that he ponders. It is so much easier now that we know what we each need in order to recharge.

LW888

[Jhooman]

I'm married to the most amazing introvert, he rocks my world.

[ilovetv]

I understand why you post these myth debunkers, but are introverts not responsible for responding in a civil way when people talk to them or ask them a question?

I think the myths exists because so often, the introvert gives little or no verbal feedback to a question or statement in a discussion, and their facial expression is totally blank or looks thoroughly disgusted. The person on the other side of the conversation or inquiry is left wondering.

[Uptown Girl]

I understand why you post these myth debunkers, but are introverts not responsible for responding in a civil way when people talk to them or ask them a question?

I think the myths exists because so often, the introvert gives little or no verbal feedback to a question or statement in a discussion, and their facial expression is totally blank or looks thoroughly disgusted. The person on the other side of the conversation or inquiry is left wondering.

I know someone who has this move in their personal repertoire. Uses it frequently. This one happens to be one of the loudest extroverts I know.
I'd say being introvert or extrovert has nothing to do with that kind of deliberate behavior. I'd call that something else.

[l2ridehd]

I understand why you post these myth debunkers, but are introverts not responsible for responding in a civil way when people talk to them or ask them a question?

I think the myths exists because so often, the introvert gives little or no verbal feedback to a question or statement in a discussion, and their facial expression is totally blank or looks thoroughly disgusted. The person on the other side of the conversation or inquiry is left wondering.

Only if the extrovert says something of value. To many extroverts open their month to hear themselves talk and say nothing of substance. Hence the blank look.

[duffysmom]

Thank you Quirky, it was enlightening to read and being an introvert I agree with each and every statement. :coolsmiley:

[2BNTV]

Thanks Q.

I knew I was an introvert but now, I have it writing. :)

[Yorio]

Very much enjoyed reading the 10 introvert myths. I think you are right on and though I thouht I was an extrovert before, I am changing my mind. I am an introvert:)

[kentucky blue]

Only if the extrovert says something of value. To many extroverts open their month to hear themselves talk and say nothing of substance. Hence the blank look.

There is that old quote,"It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool,than to talk and removing all doubt."I guess going to a bar and asking the bartender for a pitcher of beer to go, makes me an introvert:undecided:

[rubicon]

To get right to the point and posing the question of inter-action vis a vis stimulating internalizations and considering my small band of friends whom seldom are seen but do love owing to being a homebody because of all the outside noise which blocks my high IQ need to internalize for a great period to determine if my profile fits an extrovert or introvert? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm;)

[ilovetv]

I understand why you post these myth debunkers, but are introverts not responsible for responding in a civil way when people talk to them or ask them a question?

I think the myths exists because so often, the introvert gives little or no verbal feedback to a question or statement in a discussion, and their facial expression is totally blank or looks thoroughly disgusted. The person on the other side of the conversation or inquiry is left wondering.

I asked the question above because of this statement in the myth busters above:

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.

This is so true. However, don't scientists', filmmakers' and doctors' (especially doctors') success depend on having good interpersonal communication skills?

People write here all the time about doctors who are rude, arrogant, condescending, and who do not talk to the patient as if the patient had any brains.

Patients often leave a very skilled, brainy doctor because he acts too smart to come down to the patient's mere level of thinking, or because she seems cold as ice and cannot relate to a person's suffering. People have also written here that they have dumped a doctor not because his/her knowledge or diagnostic skills were lacking, but because his/her office staff person was rude, condescending, and abrupt...refusing to even try to accommodate the "customer's" needs.

I've read various times that people now make 4-5 career changes throughout their lives, and it's mostly due to problems with interpersonal relations.

Should "gifted" students in K-12 be given a pass on answering people politely and thoroughly, or should they be allowed to stare blankly at the teacher when he/she asks them a question or holds a discussion, because they find their interior world so much more stimulating?

Should they be given the impression that they need not bother inter-acting with others because they are so much smarter than extroverts who they conclude "just flap their jaws and say nothing of worth"?

The list is very accurate, but I think teaching bright introverts how to interact with others is extremely important if they are going into a career that is people-oriented, like teaching, nursing, medicine, etc.

[quirky3]

I asked the question above because of this statement in the myth busters above:



This is so true. However, don't scientists', filmmakers' and doctors' (especially doctors') success depend on having good interpersonal communication skills?

People write here all the time about doctors who are rude, arrogant, condescending, and who do not talk to the patient as if the patient had any brains.

Patients often leave a very skilled, brainy doctor because he acts too smart to come down to the patient's mere level of thinking, or because she seems cold as ice and cannot relate to a person's suffering. People have also written here that they have dumped a doctor not because his/her knowledge or diagnostic skills were lacking, but because his/her office staff person was rude, condescending, and abrupt...refusing to even try to accommodate the "customer's" needs.

I've read various times that people now make 4-5 career changes throughout their lives, and it's mostly due to problems with interpersonal relations.

Should "gifted" students in K-12 be given a pass on answering people politely and thoroughly, or should they be allowed to stare blankly at the teacher when he/she asks them a question or holds a discussion, because they find their interior world so much more stimulating?

Should they be given the impression that they need not bother inter-acting with others because they are so much smarter than extroverts who they conclude "just flap their jaws and say nothing of worth"?

The list is very accurate, but I think teaching bright introverts how to interact with others is extremely important if they are going into a career that is people-oriented, like teaching, nursing, medicine, etc.

ILoveTV, I think you and I are in "violent agreement" that kids should be brought up to be polite. My posting doesn't put forth the idea of educating introverts differently. I am an introvert, and was brought up to be very polite.
The focus of my initial post was to support introverts by offering additional positive insights. And I really like that it "brought out" some of the other introverts to interact! Please feel free to start a new post if you'd like to debate approaches to education for different types of kids.
I am encouraged to know that introverts can be happy at TV. It was a question in my mind prior to this.

[quirky3]

To get right to the point and posing the question of inter-action vis a vis stimulating internalizations and considering my small band of friends whom seldom are seen but do love owing to being a homebody because of all the outside noise which blocks my high IQ need to internalize for a great period to determine if my profile fits an extrovert or introvert? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm;)

Rubicon, I could tell you were an introvert! You're not even a "closet introvert"! :laugh:

[Pturner]

... People write here all the time about doctors who are rude, arrogant, condescending, and who do not talk to the patient as if the patient had any brains.

Patients often leave a very skilled, brainy doctor because he acts too smart to come down to the patient's mere level of thinking, or because she seems cold as ice and cannot relate to a person's suffering. People have also written here that they have dumped a doctor not because his/her knowledge or diagnostic skills were lacking, but because his/her office staff person was rude, condescending, and abrupt...refusing to even try to accommodate the "customer's" needs.

I've read various times that people now make 4-5 career changes throughout their lives, and it's mostly due to problems with interpersonal relations.

Should "gifted" students in K-12 be given a pass on answering people politely and thoroughly, or should they be allowed to stare blankly at the teacher when he/she asks them a question or holds a discussion, because they find their interior world so much more stimulating?

Should they be given the impression that they need not bother inter-acting with others because they are so much smarter than extroverts who they conclude "just flap their jaws and say nothing of worth"?

The list is very accurate, but I think teaching bright introverts how to interact with others is extremely important if they are going into a career that is people-oriented, like teaching, nursing, medicine, etc.

Hi ilovetv,

I agree with you that the behaviors you describe (rudeness, condescension, et. al) are not attractive qualities. However, I don't think all or indeed most introverts are rude or lacking in social skills and I don't think all people who are rude, condescending and lacking in social graces are introverts.

If we are all that way, I apologize. :sad:

[ilovetv]

Regarding:

The focus of my initial post was to support introverts by offering additional positive insights. And I really like that it "brought out" some of the other introverts to interact!

Thank you for clarifying this.