When choosing new friends in The Villages?

[graciegirl]

What would make or break feeling completely comfortable spending a lot of time with people and feeling a kinship and bond????.

Some people will say nothing, they are totally accepting but others might say that they prefer someone with their values, politics, religion, life experience, married status, etc.

What are the deal breakers for any chance of friendship?

Time spent in jail, different tastes esthetically, non believers or church goers, athletic or non athletic, only golflers, only non golfers, too old, too young, too loud, too prudish? Other?

Well maybe not deal breakers but huge deterrents.

I would say I really don't want to hang around with a convicted felon or even those who aren't ......comfortable with rules?.
I prefer people who are warm and have a sense of humor.
I don't like to discuss politics and never religion.

How about you?

[HawkeyeBarb]

For me, a sense of humor is a MAJOR connection. I plan on laughing a lot during my life in TV!

[Taltarzac725]

I am not that found of talking religion nor politics either because most of the world's history of violence comes from either religion or politics or both. A lot could probably be said about interpersonal violence too based on these two forces. Just check out the TOTV political forum for testy discussions.

Like people who enjoy movies, books, and the like.

Not too found of talking golf though so that takes me out a lot of Villages' discussions. Cannot tell a birdie from an eagle from a boogie from a slice.

I like lovers of dogs for the most part and can often get a feel of what a person is really like from how they treat their dog as well as how their dog interacts with other people and other dogs.

Cat lovers need a much closer look.

[ducati1974]

I prefer to be around non-smokers, non-egotists, controlled drinkers, fun people, people who tend to get along with most others, non-pretentious people... I guess I could keep going on and on! I hope others see me as having these traits.

[ewstanley]

We both love people with a sense of humor.
Like Gracie, we don't talk politics or religion.
We are both low key and sort of quiet, but we do have a sense of humor.

[momesu]

I prefer to be around people who have a positive outlook and see the good in things rather than looking for the bad. I don't do well with complainers and negative thinkers or those who are judgmental. I will not talk politics! I will only talk religion with someone who wants to and then not to argue about it. I value a sense of humor but not humor that degrades or pokes fun at others. I prefer to not be around people while they are smoking but if I like the person it wouldn't be a deal breaker unless they insisted on blowing there smoke in my face, but I find most my smoking friends don't smoke around their non-smoking friends. They just suddenly disappear for a moment or two.

I think I can get along with most anyone but those are my preferences. Age is no factor in my friends nor are looks. I don't know anything about golf, not because I don't like it I just don't do it so I will listen politely but probably not enter into a conversation about it. I can talk for hours about crafts, but that bores lots of people so I reserve those talks for those of my friends who also enjoy creating things. I love to hear about peoples travels and enjoy being friends with those who love to travel.

Suzanne

[LvmyPug2]

For me the "deal breaker" is intolerance and negativity. I'm at a stage in life where I have adopted the motto "don't sweat the small stuff... and almost everything is the small stuff"

[chachacha]

that's a good question, gracie...i have acquaintances whom i enjoy in many different spheres of interest....mine are languages, travel, dancing, the arts, and politics and religion...the latter do not make for good conversation unless both are of the same mind. but i can respect any person who is intellectually interesting, not necessarily from formal education but even more desirably from world and life experiences... i have friends who know me well to laugh and play with, and acquaintances with whom i am enjoying mutual interests. as they say, one is silver and the other is gold... it has taken three years here to find my niche, and i am very happy.

[Posh 08]

What would make or break feeling completely comfortable spending a lot of time with people and feeling a kinship and bond????.

Some people will say nothing, they are totally accepting but others might say that they prefer someone with their values, politics, religion, life experience, married status, etc.

What are the deal breakers for any chance of friendship?

Time spent in jail, different tastes esthetically, non believers or church goers, athletic or non athletic, only golflers, only non golfers, too old, too young, too loud, too prudish? Other?

Well maybe not deal breakers but huge deterrents.

I would say I really don't want to hang around with a convicted felon or even those who aren't ......comfortable with rules?.
I prefer people who are warm and have a sense of humor.
I don't like to discuss politics and never religion.

How about you?

BO and sex offenders.

[uujudy]

I totally agree with never discussing religion or politics.
Unfortunately, we moved here from Utah, so almost everybody we meet wants to know:
1. Are you Mormon? (no)
2. Tell us about the Mormons (?)
Which ultimately leads to
3. Tell us about Mitt Romney (!)

Oh man. Religion AND Politics, and we just met these folks 5 minutes ago!

I try to say "No religion or politics," but some people are so insistent. They seem to have preconceived notions that they want me to validate. I'll take a smoker, egotist, drunk, cat lover anyday... :loco:

[CarolSells]

What would make or break feeling completely comfortable spending a lot of time with people and feeling a kinship and bond????.

Some people will say nothing, they are totally accepting but others might say that they prefer someone with their values, politics, religion, life experience, married status, etc.

What are the deal breakers for any chance of friendship?

Time spent in jail, different tastes esthetically, non believers or church goers, athletic or non athletic, only golflers, only non golfers, too old, too young, too loud, too prudish? Other?

Well maybe not deal breakers but huge deterrents.

I would say I really don't want to hang around with a convicted felon or even those who aren't ......comfortable with rules?.
I prefer people who are warm and have a sense of humor.
I don't like to discuss politics and never religion.

How about you?

And then there's always the old saying "A friend is someone who knows everything about you and likes you anyway". Works in both directions.

[buzzy]

I steer clear of egotists.

[Yankee Quilter]

I think we are on the same page. The "it is all about me" person who drives me nuts. It is their church, political policy, home, kids ....who are the only right way to go ... One of my resolutions Is to seek out "real" people,those who care about others, enjoy laughing and life in general... Those who bring you up instead of trying to bring you all down to their level...
All that being said, and reading TOTV, and this post,sounds like there are tons of potential friends out there!

[momesu]

I think we are on the same page. The "it is all about me" person who drives me nuts. It is their church, political policy, home, kids ....who are the only right way to go ... One of my resolutions Is to seek out "real" people,those who care about others, enjoy laughing and life in general... Those who bring you up instead of trying to bring you all down to their level...
All that being said, and reading TOTV, and this post,sounds like there are tons of potential friends out there!

I like your screen name!

[CaptJohn]

I prefer to be around non-smokers, non-egotists, controlled drinkers, fun people, people who tend to get along with most others, non-pretentious people... I guess I could keep going on and on! I hope others see me as having these traits.

Put me in this category for preferences. :wave:

[cappyjon431]

I have a difficult time being around Florida Gator fans (just kidding, but GO CANES!).

[redwitch]

Bigots. Holier than thous. Deliberately mean people. All absolute deal breakers.

[Finallyfree]

My idea of a friend is someone you can talk about anything to while understanding we all have different views and usually there is no right or wrong one. We like spending time with folks who are happy with where they are in life and living it to the fullest. We can party or not, be active or not, own cats or dogs. Bottom line is take me or leave me as I am cause what you see is what you get. We will be there full time in 34 days! Soo looking forward to it.

[Someday Came]

We are getting our house in Hemingway on March 31, will not be full time for a year. We are looking forward to meeting and making new friends that are positive fun loving and funny. Can't wait to start our retirement in TV we have been looking for 3 years in all different places and kept coming back to TV because every time we were there people were so friendly. We can't wait to start our next chapter, with all of you.

[Happinow]

For me there are some things I just won't tolerate. Drinkers...I don't mean coming to my house to have a drink or two but those who have to drink everyday and drink too much. I won't tolerate those who smoke...a deal breaker for me. Try to stay away from politics and religion like most of you said, prefer not to be around someone who dominates a conversation or who is overly loud. A felon is also a deal breaker and someone who doesn't keep themselves well groomed.

I prefer the company of people who like a variety of topics, like to laugh a lot and had a good sense of humor. After all, life is too short not to laugh. I try to look on the bright side of things to keep life light. I like those who aren't fake and just down to earth. Be yourself. From what I see in TV, most everyone is very friendly and down to earth. I think that's what attracted me to this area. I tend to make friends easily and welcome the friendship of others.

I don't play golf, so please don't count me out as your friend! I like to watch people play golf. Does that count???

[Shimpy]

I have a difficult time being around Florida Gator fans (just kidding, but GO CANES!).

It's all about the "U" Go Canes

[JoeC1947]

I find at this age it's very difficult to make good friends. Friendships need time to grow into friendships. I'm not talking about casual friends like the people I play golf with or meet at the pool, I'm talking about those truly special friends that will listen to your problems without judging you, and accept you as you are even with your bad habits, drop everything because you need their help, get angry with you but love you enough to talk it out. I am blessed to have two such friends in my life, my wife and my friend Gary.

To answer the question, I don't think that there is anyone that I wouldn't give friendship a chance with just because they, drink, smoke, did something wrong in the past and are sorry for now, are black or white, are loud or judgmental.
You just never know.

[pooh]

I prefer to be among people who respect others, young, old, rich, poor. We are no better than anyone and no one is any better than us.

A great sense of humor is also something I admire in those I enjoy being around. Guess I get along with most. Everyone has something interesting about them.

Sometimes you just "know" that you're going to like someone immediately.... ;) You are one of those people Gracie....:) :) :)

[TrudyM]

Bigots. Holier than thous. Deliberately mean people. All absolute deal breakers.

People who try to �save your soul�- and shove their religion down your throats same with their politics.
I know they think they are doing the Christian thing but it is intrusive and tiresome.

[Posh 08]

People who try to �save your soul�- and shove their religion down your throats same with their politics.
I know they think they are doing the Christian thing but it is intrusive and tiresome.

Add that to my list too.

[swimdawg]

And there is a HUGE difference between friends and acquaintances.

Acquaintances are there for you in the good times....oh yes!

Friends are there for you in the good times....and bad times as well.

How soon you find out who are friends....and who are acquaintances....when 'something happens'.

Friends....worth more than money can buy. TYG

[vj1213]

I find at this age it's very difficult to make good friends. Friendships need time to grow into friendships. I'm not talking about casual friends like the people I play golf with or meet at the pool, I'm talking about those truly special friends that will listen to your problems without judging you, and accept you as you are even with your bad habits, drop everything because you need their help, get angry with you but love you enough to talk it out. I am blessed to have two such friends in my life, my wife and my friend Gary.

To answer the question, I don't think that there is anyone that I wouldn't give friendship a chance with just because they, drink, smoke, did something wrong in the past and are sorry for now, are black or white, are loud or judgmental.
You just never know.

I do have to disagree with your first statement. I have life long friends from first grade but the friendships I have formed over the past year and a half with my neighbors are right up there in the same category. We have very special bonds, we share our ups & downs, we laugh together and yes on many occasions we have cried together.
I am pretty much like everyone else, I love to laugh and joke around. I tend to give everyone a chance. I don't discuss politics or religion. I am a "social" golfer and I don't mind if you discuss golf...but surely there are other topics you can discuss at times. I don't really like people who discuss how much money they have, or how much they paid for everything. I don't care if you are rich or poor, black, white, red or yellow, fat, thin...whatever....I try not to judge anyone. As someone else said, people have made mistakes in the past so I will give them a chance too.
Don't come at me with "attitude" and we will get along just fine. :smiley:

[CaptJohn]

And there is a HUGE difference between friends and acquaintances.

Acquaintances are there for you in the good times....oh yes!

Friends are there for you in the good times....and bad times as well.

How soon you find out who are friends....and who are acquaintances....when 'something happens'.

Friends....worth more than money can buy. TYG

:agree:
I have found this out many times over the years.

[cappyjon431]

It's all about the "U" Go Canes

:bigbow: Couldn't agree more. Class of '84 here, but season ticket holder since 1967!

[jgbama]

I totally agree with never discussing religion or politics.
Unfortunately, we moved here from Utah, so almost everybody we meet wants to know:
1. Are you Mormon? (no)
2. Tell us about the Mormons (?)
Which ultimately leads to
3. Tell us about Mitt Romney (!)

Oh man. Religion AND Politics, and we just met these folks 5 minutes ago!

I try to say "No religion or politics," but some people are so insistent. They seem to have preconceived notions that they want me to validate. I'll take a smoker, egotist, drunk, cat lover anyday... :loco:

I'm with you! Being from the South, people in other parts of the country think we Southerners are all dumb, bathe only on Saturday, and are racist. I'm "one for three", I do take a bath every day. . . we just empty the water on Saturdays!! :1rotfl::1rotfl:

[JoeC1947]

I do have to disagree with your first statement. I have life long friends from first grade but the friendships I have formed over the past year and a half with my neighbors are right up there in the same category. We have very special bonds, we share our ups & downs, we laugh together and yes on many occasions we have cried together.
I am pretty much like everyone else, I love to laugh and joke around. I tend to give everyone a chance. I don't discuss politics or religion. I am a "social" golfer and I don't mind if you discuss golf...but surely there are other topics you can discuss at times. I don't really like people who discuss how much money they have, or how much they paid for everything. I don't care if you are rich or poor, black, white, red or yellow, fat, thin...whatever....I try not to judge anyone. As someone else said, people have made mistakes in the past so I will give them a chance too.
Don't come at me with "attitude" and we will get along just fine. :smiley:

You can say that you don't feel that way but you can't disagree with the way I "feel".

[hedoman]

For me I know friends will be close friends pretty quickly. How? I don't know. but it's like when I met my wife the first time I just knew........

[graciegirl]

At our age (minimum, half a century) some skills are honed with practice. You do just know pretty quickly if you feel completely comfortable with someone.

There are all levels of friends too. Some are friendly aquaintances that you share some activities with and that is very pleasant. You can't be close to everyone living here, but their smiles make me want to.

[ssmith]

We have moved often and love to think of all you great people there. I love talking to many different folks there. I kind of see all of us as like family....you know, all of us a little dysfunctional but all of us worth knowing in some way. My friend says also there are those who are friendly and then there are those who want to be friends....you know open up and share life with you.

My hubby is a great guy but takes time to get below the surface with him....sure hope he will have friends when the time comes. BTW he really doesn't have much of a sense of humor but he is still a great person to get to know...he can't help it... he is an Engineer ;)