If you knew then what you know now.....

[Happinow]

I'm interested in your opinion on kind of a personal question. If you knew then, what you know now, would you still have had children? For whatever your reasons are, pro or con, what do you think? We all know we love our children to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, but with life's experiences, would you do it again? And given the way the world is now would you advise your children to have children?

I've asked my sisters and brothers and the reaction is mixed. What do you think?

[graciegirl]

Boy howdy.

[Happinow]

Boy howdy.

I have seen this response on a few threads and I don't know what it means. I guess I'm too young....

[Dennis Ga]

I have seen this response on a few threads and I don't know what it means. I guess I'm too young....

I think it means, You have asked a deep and thoughful question that will take allot of thought to answer.

[chuckinca]

Yes.

4 kids

and so far -

7 grand kids

1 great grand kid


.

[keithwand]

I divorced when my son was 3 and I raised him full time as a single parent when he was 8.

Living with his Mom was deteriorating more and more so I fought for him again. Even his teacher and principal wanted him removed from his mother and the environment.

Needless to say back then "Dads" did not get their kids. Another $10K down the drain.

THEN- I got a call from his Mother that her car had died and if I got her another car she would trade me.

Here's your car!

He is now 33 and the married father of an almost 1 yr. old daughter and a 3 year old spitting image of a son.

Hell yes!

Now (since 1995) I have a step son and daughter 38 and 40 and 4 lovely grandaughters from almost 1 to 14 years.

[Pathel]

I'm interested in your opinion on kind of a personal question. If you knew then, what you know now, would you still have had children? For whatever your reasons are, pro or con, what do you think? We all know we love our children to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, but with life's experiences, would you do it again? And given the way the world is now would you advise your children to have children?

I've asked my sisters and brothers and the reaction is mixed. What do you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Advice from Dutchgirl: If you think you need help, go to a counselor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Response from Happinow: I'm not a basket case (yet). Just wondered if others felt more anxious as the move got closer. Want to make sure I'm "normal".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, dear Hap, your posts are not exactly "happy" and perhaps it is time to get some therapy. You could ask the therapist the questions you obviously are struggling with - having children and such.

We all want you to be happy - now and in the future. Your posts often don't come across as sounding too happy. A therapist could help you - and you could find out from a professional if you are "normal".

We are older, some of us. We have found out that money and material things don't bring happiness. We all wish you happiness...now and in the future.

[Skybo]

I have seen this response on a few threads and I don't know what it means. I guess I'm too young....

Here are a few definitions from urbandictionary.com:

Boy Howdy:

Southern slang. An interjection. Often used as an expression of surprise for large quantities of something, or severity of something. "Boy howdy! Them pumpkins sure are big! How're we gonna carry 'em all, Ms. McGregor?"

An exclamation of enthusiastic agreement which can be used in both a genuine or sarcastic tone. In addition can used to add emphasis to a statement.

General expression/interjection, similar in usage to "wow," "oh, man," or "yep".

[The Village Girl]

Here are a few definitions from urbandictionary.com:

Boy Howdy:

Southern slang. An interjection. Often used as an expression of surprise for large quantities of something, or severity of something. "Boy howdy! Them pumpkins sure are big! How're we gonna carry 'em all, Ms. McGregor?"

An exclamation of enthusiastic agreement which can be used in both a genuine or sarcastic tone. In addition can used to add emphasis to a statement.

General expression/interjection, similar in usage to "wow," "oh, man," or "yep".

Or, Are you freaking kidding?

[Skybo]

Or, Are you freaking kidding?

lol. Yes, I had to selectively edit out some of the terminology from urban dictionary before posting.

[eweissenbach]

I'm interested in your opinion on kind of a personal question. If you knew then, what you know now, would you still have had children? For whatever your reasons are, pro or con, what do you think? We all know we love our children to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, but with life's experiences, would you do it again? And given the way the world is now would you advise your children to have children?

I've asked my sisters and brothers and the reaction is mixed. What do you think?

Cannot imagine anyone with children admitting to themself or anyone else that they would not have their children, given the chance. WOW. Ok, maybe jeffrey dahmer's parents, but......................................

[Happinow]

I divorced when my son was 3 and I raised him full time as a single parent when he was 8.

Living with his Mom was deteriorating more and more so I fought for him again. Even his teacher and principal wanted him removed from his mother and the environment.

Needless to say back then "Dads" did not get their kids. Another $10K down the drain.

THEN- I got a call from his Mother that her car had died and if I got her another car she would trade me.

Here's your car!

He is now 33 and the married father of an almost 1 yr. old daughter and a 3 year old spitting image of a son.

Hell yes!

Now (since 1995) I have a step son and daughter 38 and 40 and 4 lovely grandaughters from almost 1 to 14 years.

Great story! That's what I was getting at with this post. It's a lot to think about.

[graciegirl]

I have seen this response on a few threads and I don't know what it means. I guess I'm too young....

boy howdier

[Bill-n-Brillo]

It doesn't matter what you choose to do in life - - - there are always pros and cons......upsides and downsides to everything.

Also, your question makes the assumption that everyone has children, Happinow..........

Bill :)

[Happinow]

Let me clarify my OP a bit. Here's where I was coming from.....

Most of us have grown children, some grown children are younger and some are older. The world has changed significantly since you and I were in our teens/twentys/thirties. It seems the family unit as we knew it has all but disappeared. The times when we all sat down to dinner together, the times when not everyone had to have the best and have it now, the times when there was no bullying, the times when it only took one member of the family to work to support the family, the times when we all had affordable healthcare, etc. I feel that our younger children, 20's and 30's are struggling to monumental magnitudes to make end meet, if they even can. Some college degrees aren't worth the paper they are printed on, college tuition isn't affordable any longer, thus we have a bunch of uneducated people. I personally feel badly that my daughter may never own her own home in spite of the fact that she and her fiance both work full time. I fear that there will not be affordable daycare for her child. We could buy a gal. of milk for under a dollar, now it's 4.00. Gas is almost 4.00/gal.and when we were driving it was 99 cents a gal. When we were bringing up our children, things weren't like this and I just wondered if you knew that the world would become such a difficult place to live for a lot of people, would you still have chosen to put your children through this? It has nothing to do with the fact of how much you love them. If you had a crystal ball, would you subject our young children to this termoil in the world?? I hope I clarified my post a bit better.

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Also regarding the expression "Boy Howdy" - do a Google search on the phrase. There are various perspectives of its origin.

Bill :)

[graciegirl]

Boy Howdy is this case meant that that is a very, very, personal question to most people.

In my case the answer is an enthusiastic YES. I would have my children, again and again and repeat that part of my life.

Raising children not only brings the greatest joy, but the greatest heartbreak, worry, and is the largest and most important job taken on by anyone. Not everyone wants to share all of these things here.

It is also the cause of diverse emotions if people do NOT have children.

[Pathel]

Hap dearheart, it is time for you to call a therapist.

[Happinow]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Advice from Dutchgirl: If you think you need help, go to a counselor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Response from Happinow: I'm not a basket case (yet). Just wondered if others felt more anxious as the move got closer. Want to make sure I'm "normal".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, dear Hap, your posts are not exactly "happy" and perhaps it is time to get some therapy. You could ask the therapist the questions you obviously are struggling with - having children and such.

We all want you to be happy - now and in the future. Your posts often don't come across as sounding too happy. A therapist could help you - and you could find out from a professional if you are "normal".

We are older, some of us. We have found out that money and material things don't bring happiness. We all wish you happiness...now and in the future.

Ummmm. Never been told to get therapy. I am a happy person it's just sometimes the goings on in the world frustrate me. Perhaps that's why I'm moving to TV, to be sheltered from all of the outside stuff. Based on what others are experiencing when making a move of this magnitude, I am coming to the conclusion that I am completely normal. Second guessing ones self is a normal reaction. As for children?? I love my daughter to death and wouldn't change a thing. If you'll read my followup on OP you may be better to see where I was coming from. Perhaps I didn't word it correctly. I was mostly talking about how the world has changed and our kids are taking the brunt of it. Now, I think I'll go take that Xanax so I can be calm and happy for the day!:loco:

[Pathel]

Ummmm. Never been told to get therapy. I am a happy person it's just sometimes the goings on in the world frustrate me. Perhaps that's why I'm moving to TV, to be sheltered from all of the outside stuff. Based on what others are experiencing when making a move of this magnitude, I am coming to the conclusion that I am completely normal. Second guessing ones self is a normal reaction. As for children?? I love my daughter to death and wouldn't change a thing. If you'll read my followup on OP you may be better to see where I was coming from. Perhaps I didn't word it correctly. I was mostly talking about how the world has changed and our kids are taking the brunt of it. Now, I think I'll go take that Xanax so I can be calm and happy for the day!:loco:

YOU TAKE XANAX?????? The same medication that Whitney Houston took before her "bath"? Oh...Hap...be careful.

Boy Howdy Howdy Howdy!

[Bosoxfan]

845 posts since november....wow!! enough said...or in your case maybe never enough said!

[Happinow]

845 posts since november....wow!! enough said...or in your case maybe never enough said!

Just trying to catch up to Gracie! This will make 846......

[Bogie Shooter]

Ummmm. Never been told to get therapy. I am a happy person it's just sometimes the goings on in the world frustrate me. Perhaps that's why I'm moving to TV, to be sheltered from all of the outside stuff. Based on what others are experiencing when making a move of this magnitude, I am coming to the conclusion that I am completely normal. Second guessing ones self is a normal reaction. As for children?? I love my daughter to death and wouldn't change a thing. If you'll read my followup on OP you may be better to see where I was coming from. Perhaps I didn't word it correctly. I was mostly talking about how the world has changed and our kids are taking the brunt of it. Now, I think I'll go take that Xanax so I can be calm and happy for the day!:loco:

Every generation has faced change. Some accept the change and move on others wonder if they are normal or not.............keep wondering!

[The Village Girl]

Only Gracie can be Gracie. All others are a cheap imitation.

Honey, just try being you.

I agree with the others. You are all over the board.

You know TV by visiting your unlaws, you don't know anything about TV, you then know everything and then you are making suggestions about changes in TV. At times you have no clue as to how to decorate and then you are a regular Martha Stewart.

Huh?

[Bogie Shooter]

Only Gracie can be Gracie. All others are a cheap imitation.

Honey, just try being you.

I agree with the others. You are all over the board.

You know TV by visiting your unlaws, you don't know anything about TV, you then know everything and then you are making suggestions about changes in TV. At times you have no clue as to how to decorate and then you are a regular Martha Stewart.

Huh?

:boom:

:agree:

[RichieB]

Just trying to catch up to Gracie! This will make 846......

:laugh: :coolsmiley:

[Bosoxfan]

:mademyday::BigApplause:Only Gracie can be Gracie. All others are a cheap imitation.

Honey, just try being you.

I agree with the others. You are all over the board.

You know TV by visiting your unlaws, you don't know anything about TV, you then know everything and then you are making suggestions about changes in TV. At times you have no clue as to how to decorate and then you are a regular Martha Stewart.

Huh?

[CarGuys]

845 posts since november....wow!! enough said...or in your case maybe never enough said!

Roger that! You sure read my mind!

[Posh 08]

Some of you folks need prunes.

[DaveNKath]

In a heartbeat!

[billethkid]

the hill in front of each generation is the same it just has different names and terminology for the times.

And aren't you glad your parents had no second thoughts?

btk

[asianthree]

Maybe if the post had started with: If you were a young couple would you have children in todays world. So with that i can give you my childrens thought on children or not. The first is a doctor along with his wife. Both knew at a young age they DID not want children and have never wavered about that, and i have no problems with the choice. The second is a nurse and has three children all very much wanted and each is very special in everyway. The third child has his masters and works everyday in an autism center for low functioning children. Everyday is a challange for him but as he says its more of a challange for the parents. At open house I get so many hugs from people I have never meet but my son has so touched their lives. He will not be having his own children, but is going to save a girl from China so she may have a wonderful life. (Guess that changes my sign on to Asianfour) So if you look at three children all raised in the same home, all have different thoughts on: Would have children.

[ducati1974]

845 posts since november....wow!! enough said...or in your case maybe never enough said!

Are you kidding me? C'mon if you don't appreciate Happinow's threads or posts just slip on by them. Its unnecessary for you to denigrate his/her writings- they're not harmful to anyone and in fact I don't remember any negative or nasty comments coming from them. I am one of the many that enjoy their postings so please just pass on the posts/threads you don't like and move on to others.

[mrdarcy]

Because no two people ever have identical life experiences there is opportunity to learn something from everyone's perspective. I chose not to have children because I thoroughly enjoy every minute of my life and realize that being a parent involves tremendous sacrifice of one's own life for one's children. I did not want to sacrifice that much of my own life to have children.

[paulandjean]

Happinow, I for one do not think you need a therapist,but after seeing some of the responses on here, I think some others do. Hang in there,you will meet people here who will not be so judgmental.Remember what ever makes you happy.

[TV-4-2]

We knew early on that we didn't want children so we didn't have any.
We feel it's really sad to have children when they are unwanted.
Just our opinion.