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Taltarzac725
05-13-2012, 07:27 AM
Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked "what's wrong?" It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired"

Golfer in Sanibel
05-13-2012, 08:44 AM
:thumbup:

Taltarzac725
05-13-2012, 08:52 AM
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”

The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us?”

They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.” The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

Golfer in Sanibel
05-13-2012, 08:54 AM
Nice. You are on a roll.

Mimivillager
05-13-2012, 10:20 AM
:BigApplause:

Taltarzac725
05-13-2012, 12:05 PM
---------------

Posted at a local golf club...
■1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
■2. Form a loose grip.
■3. Keep your head down.
■4. Avoid a quick swing.
■5. Stay out of the water.
■6. Try not to hit anyone.
■7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
■8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
■9. Quiet please... while others are preparing to go.
■10. Don't take extra strokes.
■Very good. Now flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.