Question for Dog owners

[hulahips]

hi everyone First let me say, I grew up with dogs and love animals. However, now that we're retired we choose not to have the responsibility any longer and be free to do what we want etc..

I find myself in a sticky situation and not sure how to handle this. We've met many friends here and recently have encountered this situation where I Hate to lose a friendship over it.

We were invited to friends house for first time. They asked us to remove our shoes. I don't generally have a problem with that as I have wood floors and would love if my husband would even do that. ha the problem is they have a dog that was jumping on me, licking my bare toes, my bare legs (had shorts on) but even more uncomfortable was he kept barking and growling at me and scared me to death. I was really nervous!! I really couldn't wait to leave. My husband said on way home, why did we have to remove our shoes when the dog runs out in yard, all over grass, and drags the dirt in. We don't ask people to remove their shoes and we have wood floors with no pets. Like I said it's not the shoe situation its why does the owner think it is appropriate for the dog to jump on us, lick us, etc.. when we have no shoes on?? I know growing up my parents always put the dog in another room when we had company out of respect, especially if they were friends that were not dog owners. How do I continue a relationship without hurting anyone's feelings ? I really do like them.

[BmoreGal]

You could try inviting them to your house; or joining them at a local restaurant.

I share your discomfort. I would not want my guests to feel uncomfortable in my home because of an overzealous, or untrained dog...

Maybe they will read this, and take note.

[thistrucksforyou]

You shouldn.t have to..I am usually frank in what I say and some people can deal with it and some can't but here goes your friends are idiots,,,I wouldn't go back and I would tell them why....Dogs are animals and not human even though some people treat them like they are...The dog is there problem not yours unless you want it to be...

[ajbrown]

First off, I would NOT let my dog do that to you and they should not. Caly (our dog) hangs with us with company, but I am very aware of what she is doing and would be the first to correct her if she was in someone's space uninvited.

When I am at someone else's home, I can usually stop a dog from unwanted behavior that you describe with a simple 'hey' or 'no'. The dog usually understands and moves to the next target and no one is the wiser.

In the end I think you just have to convey what you did in your post to your new friends in the nicest way possible, i.e., "I really enjoy hanging with you.... I am a bit nervous around dogs or whatever gets the point across in the least confrontational way possible."

[Phanatic Luvr]

I agree with Ajbrown ... I have two dogs, one good, the other not so good. I am always focused on my not-so-good boy, as he is a jumper and a kisser. It is sometimes too much for me and although I hate to discourage such affection, like to keep my make-up on my face. I usually either hold him or put both in my bedroom when company arrives. I would never expect a guest to have to deal with bad dog behavior. So, with that said, I am thinking, it would be best, like another poster posted, to either meet them out and about, or invite them to your home. If the topic would ever come up, be honest. Just explain in a kind way that their dog made you feel a little uneasy.
In as far as asking you to take off your shoes, I'm pretty much a neat-nick, but would never ask a guest to remove their shoes unless they were covered in something. I go barefoot alot in my own home but in others, I find it a little gross.

[hulahips]

I understand the "our house" and restaurant idea however don't think it will work. I don't always want to entertain and like to switch homes when we play games which we do. They don't like to eat out so that is a problem. I can't be the one to entertain all the time to avoid their home. The shoe situation is bafling because as a dog owner who lets their dog run all over yard and then jump all over their carpet Why am I being asked to remove shoes?? I could see if they didn't own a dog but they do and he drags in more dirt than I do. Even when stopping over for Five minites I'm expected to remove my socks and shoes to step on to an older carpet that the dog is roaming all over. I hate to ruin this friendship but I don't know what options I have. I either have to be frank which I don't enjoy or keep coming up with excuses NOT to stop over ??

[jimbo2012]

How about you say that you notice that you maybe having an allergic reaction to dog hair or something like that after visiting their home.....

That way no hard feelings

[hulahips]

how do I suddenly say I have allergy to dog hair?? that might seem strange because if I did I would have told them immediately?? I really don't know how to handle this. I don't want to go in their home anymore. The dog yesterday when I just stopped by jumped and growled at me and scared me to death. Unless your blind, you can certainly see the dog makes me nervous. Should I be so concerned when the dog owner is not very considerate?? I just don't understand where common sense went and common courtesy to others. Am I crazy??

[NotGolfer]

I think if they're your friends, you need to tell them that dogs that jump on you etc. makes you nervous and uncomfortable. As for taking shoes off...we've done that at friend's homes. My husband has been known (me too) to bring along slippers! That might be the thing you'd have to do next time.

I'm with you....I've never "required" anyone to remove their shoes, even when we lived up north with snow etc. I've made a point to tell folks we want them to be comfortable in our home. People should "use things and not people" is my motto.

I'm also with the one poster who said that dogs are animals and NOT people!! Sometimes owners get that a bit mixed up in my opinion (and I'm a former pet owner---both dogs and cats).

[hulahips]

i agree with you. Animals are animals and putting them in another room for couple hrs certainly is NOT cruelty to any animal. It's showing your friends you enjoy their company and would like them to return.

[Taltarzac725]

Have your friends take a drive to Doggie Doo Run Run with their unruly pooch. Sounds like their pooch needs some socialization with other dogs and people.

You could just suggest a trip to the dog park as a way for their pet to get out more. That way you can also bring up the dog's behavior you saw at the house you visited.

Dogs do jump up on people at DDRR but their owners usually warn people if they have a jumper or a licker.

Doggie Doo Run Run is north of Southern Trace Shopping Center on CR101 near the intersection of CR 101 and CR104.


There are also dog parks in the Villages which can be used to teach the same kind of lessons in dog park etiquette. There's one near the Springdale Walking Trail (Mulberry Dog Park), one at Lake Paradise, and one near the fire station off of Bonita Way.

[Here2Stay]

Well, lets hope they read this post and problem solved....hopefully:evil6:

[bluedog103]

I understand the "our house" and restaurant idea however don't think it will work. I don't always want to entertain and like to switch homes when we play games which we do. They don't like to eat out so that is a problem. I can't be the one to entertain all the time to avoid their home. The shoe situation is bafling because as a dog owner who lets their dog run all over yard and then jump all over their carpet Why am I being asked to remove shoes?? I could see if they didn't own a dog but they do and he drags in more dirt than I do. Even when stopping over for Five minites I'm expected to remove my socks and shoes to step on to an older carpet that the dog is roaming all over. I hate to ruin this friendship but I don't know what options I have. I either have to be frank which I don't enjoy or keep coming up with excuses NOT to stop over ??
Sounds like you've answered your own question. You don't like being around the dog, you don't like taking off your shoes and socks (I've never been asked to remove my socks, that's weird), you don't want to entertain all the time in your home, they don't like to eat out. You don't want to tell them you have a problem with their dog and their request that you remove your foot covering.
Sounds like this friendship is over. Move on and don't worry about it. Life is too short.

[graciegirl]

Sounds like you've answered your own question. You don't like being around the dog, you don't like taking off your shoes and socks (I've never been asked to remove my socks, that's weird), you don't want to entertain all the time in your home, they don't like to eat out. You don't want to tell them you have a problem with their dog and their request that you remove your foot covering.
Sounds like this friendship is over. Move on and don't worry about it. Life is too short.

You are a bottom line person. Nothing like good common sense. I agree.

[hulahips]

they don't take dog to park and that wouldn't help my situation when I visit anyway?? Do I just tolerate it or say something??? If I say something they may get angry.

[Pickle-junkie-Jim]

I know you actually already know the answer ... friends respect each other (even new one's), so it's either going to be a friendship or an acquaintance ... simply be truthful and share your feelings.

[jebartle]

you could wear socks when you visit and tell a little white lie about allergies!

[Barefoot]

Sounds like you've answered your own question. You don't like being around the dog, you don't like taking off your shoes and socks (I've never been asked to remove my socks, that's weird), you don't want to entertain all the time in your home, they don't like to eat out. You don't want to tell them you have a problem with their dog and their request that you remove your foot covering.
Sounds like this friendship is over. Move on and don't worry about it. Life is too short.

Great response from Bluedog! The friendship doesn't sound like a really good "fit". There are so many wonderful people in TV, just move on and don't worry about it.

[hulahips]

I did just ask my husband about the last time we were there. He said he spoke to the husband and asked him if they ever take the dog to the dog park and the husband said NO, we just let the dog run around the front yard.
thanks for responses. I just hate the fact the friendship may not work out because of a dog. Kind of sad.

[Barefoot]

I did just ask my husband about the last time we were there. He said he spoke to the husband and asked him if they ever take the dog to the dog park and the husband said NO, we just let the dog run around the front yard.
thanks for responses. I just hate the fact the friendship may not work out because of a dog. Kind of sad.

Yes, I agree it is sad, if you really like these people, except for the dog and sock issues. But can't you be honest and just ask them to put the dog in another room because he makes you feel uncomfortable? I always lock our dogs in a bedroom if we're expecting company (although most of my pals have dogs themselves and bring them over). But I wouldn't mind at all if someone said to me, "Can you please put your darn dog in another room?"

[hulahips]

oh barefoot you made me chuckle on that one. I can see if I say "Could you put your dam dog in another room that will go over well" lol I feel at my age I shouldn't be teaching others proper etiquette lol I don't have patience to teach anyone common sense at this age. I hate the fact the relationship will be strained and somewhere down the road I'm sure I will have to say something. I'll let you all know how it turns out.

[Patty55]

oh barefoot you made me chuckle on that one. I can see if I say "Could you put your dam dog in another room that will go over well" lol I feel at my age I shouldn't be teaching others proper etiquette lol I don't have patience to teach anyone common sense at this age. I hate the fact the relationship will be strained and somewhere down the road I'm sure I will have to say something. I'll let you all know how it turns out.

If you were my alleged "friend" your problem would be solved. You're right, you shouldn't be teaching "ettiquette" and "common sense". For me, the proper way to handle this would have been to discuss it with your "friend" rather than airing it on a public message board.:ohdear:

I kind of think that your relationship will no longer be strained and down the road won't be an issue.

The dog is a part of the family, the shoe thing is her house rule. HER HOUSE, HER RULES, you don't have to agree with it or like it. You don't have to go there, but you should respect her rules.

[Taltarzac725]

oh barefoot you made me chuckle on that one. I can see if I say "Could you put your dam dog in another room that will go over well" lol I feel at my age I shouldn't be teaching others proper etiquette lol I don't have patience to teach anyone common sense at this age. I hate the fact the relationship will be strained and somewhere down the road I'm sure I will have to say something. I'll let you all know how it turns out.

Maybe, you should watch the show Dogs in the City and then mention casually your friend's dog in a kind of funny way. The new show deals with dogs that have behavior issues. Usually because of some bad training habits of the dog owners. Dogs In The City - CBS.com (http://www.cbs.com/shows/dogs_in_the_city/)

[skyguy79]

If you were my alleged "friend" your problem would be solved. You're right, you shouldn't be teaching "ettiquette" and "common sense". For me, the proper way to handle this would have been to discuss it with your "friend" rather than airing it on a public message board.:ohdear:

I kind of think that your relationship will no longer be strained and down the road won't be an issue.

The dog is a part of the family, the shoe thing is her house rule. HER HOUSE, HER RULES, you don't have to agree with it or like it. You don't have to go there, but you should respect her rules.I feel that this is very sound advise. If discussing the situation with your friend doesn't work, then I think that reassessing having them as a freind is in order! If this problem can't be resolved with them now, then you're more likely to have other unresolvable issues in the future than you'd care to have!

[tommy steam]

[QUOTE=hulahips;502423]I understand the "our house" and restaurant idea however don't think it will work. I don't always want to entertain and like to switch homes when we play games which we do. They don't like to eat out so that is a problem. I can't be the one to entertain all the time to avoid their home. The shoe situation is bafling because as a dog owner who lets their dog run all over yard and then jump all over their carpet Why am I being asked to remove shoes?? I could see if they didn't own a dog but they do and he drags in more dirt than I do. Even when stopping over for Five minites I'm expected to remove my socks and shoes to step on to an older carpet that the dog is roaming all over. I hate to ruin this friendship but I don't know what options I have. I either have to be frank which I don't enjoy or keep coming up with excuses NOT to stop over ??[/QUOTJust

I would look for new friends ...there are tons in TV..........jumping dogs shoes off..not too friendly.

[jmm2760jmm]

I like dogs, but that is rude and just plan bad manners. I would not go back....and if they ask you why you're keeping your distance, tell them. There must be plenty of nice people in TV that have better manners when hosting guests than what you've experienced.

[zonerboy]

Hulahips, it's obvious the no shoes or socks policy and the ill behaved, licking dog issues are making you uncomfortable. But you don't want to end the "friendship" cause that would make you feel guilty.
So why don't you just be frank and tell them that their dog's behavior is offensive to you. That puts the ball in their court. They can either choose to do something about the dog, or THEY can back away from the friendship because they choose not to deal with issues that are important to a friend.
That's my opinion.

[janmcn]

Are these the same people that you were complaining about last week with the dropping tree leaves in your driveway? These could be unsurmountable problems.

[hulahips]

No not same people at all. the leaves are neighbors. these are fairly new friends. I think I will mention (in a tactful way) next time we're invited over and see how it goes. May as well find out now. I just hate the fact I have to even deal with these issues.

[Patty55]

No not same people at all. the leaves are neighbors. these are fairly new friends. I think I will mention (in a tactful way) next time we're invited over and see how it goes. May as well find out now. I just hate the fact I have to even deal with these issues.

Yeah, but here's the thing, you don't have to deal with "these issues", you could choose to not "be friends" with people who have dogs and leaves.

[graciegirl]

There is a commercial on TV..(the one with the screen) that has a dog licking a babies toes. I think it is cute.

I like kisses from dogs but four or five are fine. We are kitty folks and our cats are AGGRESSIVE GREETERS as opposed to the kind of cats that kind of stay in the background. Ours will put paws on knees, and slither around your legs and lie on the back of the couch as close to visitors as they can get. They sit and look at you and wait for a pet.

So we put them in the laundry room, outfitted with lovely baskets for all two of them. (Mikey, Harry and Hershey) They are put there when we have company and there they stay unless Bill-n-Brillo ask to see them and some other kitty lover friends who ask to have them let out.

For me and my house, we like animals. and we like animal lovers the best, but know that everyone deserves our hospitality and welcoming kindness and we want all of our friends to feel absolutely at ease and want to return to see us again and again..

[hulahips]

was that a sarcastic comment? Didn't think it was very appropriate.

[hulahips]

not you gracie. your comments were kind and helpful. i meant patty 55 whom ever that is.

[graciegirl]

We posted simultaneously. I am glad it wasn't my post.

[LABSX2]

hi everyone First let me say, I grew up with dogs and love animals. However, now that we're retired we choose not to have the responsibility any longer and be free to do what we want etc..

I find myself in a sticky situation and not sure how to handle this. We've met many friends here and recently have encountered this situation where I Hate to lose a friendship over it.

We were invited to friends house for first time. They asked us to remove our shoes. I don't generally have a problem with that as I have wood floors and would love if my husband would even do that. ha the problem is they have a dog that was jumping on me, licking my bare toes, my bare legs (had shorts on) but even more uncomfortable was he kept barking and growling at me and scared me to death. I was really nervous!! I really couldn't wait to leave. My husband said on way home, why did we have to remove our shoes when the dog runs out in yard, all over grass, and drags the dirt in. We don't ask people to remove their shoes and we have wood floors with no pets. Like I said it's not the shoe situation its why does the owner think it is appropriate for the dog to jump on us, lick us, etc.. when we have no shoes on?? I know growing up my parents always put the dog in another room when we had company out of respect, especially if they were friends that were not dog owners. How do I continue a relationship without hurting anyone's feelings ? I really do like them.

You never really said what YOU did when the dog did all this licking and jumping and barking. When a dog is doing something that you don't like, if you totally ignore him/her, they will usually go away. They want your attention and if you don't give it to them, they will look to someone else who will. Like the Dog Whisperer says "No Touch, No Talk, No Eye Contact". Give it a try.:thumbup:

[hulahips]

Oh but I do have many friends with dogs. They just don't jump all over me when I visit, growl at me and scare me so it was never an issue before. I appreciate the "helpful" tips from those dog owners who understand and ignore the sarcastic remarks from those who probably do let their dogs jump all over their guests. Most of you have been helpful and appreciated for your comments. Thanks

[Barefoot]

Oh but I do have many friends with dogs. They just don't jump all over me when I visit, growl at me and scare me so it was never an issue before. I appreciate the "helpful" tips from those dog owners who understand and ignore the sarcastic remarks from those who probably do let their dogs jump all over their guests. Most of you have been helpful and appreciated for your comments. Thanks

Why don't you try saying "sit down" to the dog in a stern voice, or "go"? Most dogs will obey those commands. And the owners would get the message that you want the dog to leave you alone.