Bullying SUCKS

[CarolSells]

In my opinion, on Monday afternoon/evening we all witnessed another example of what I'll term a "Pack Attack" on one contributor to the board. That person used the term "sucks" in their description of whatever they had an opinion about.

According to Urban Dictionary, June 19: (http://www.urbandictionary.com), the term is "believed to have originated from street racing or traffic light racing in the USA. The slower cars are left "sucking" the exhaust fumes and smoked rubber of the leaders. Something is crap, a loser, broken, second rate".

Lots of people jumped on the opportunity to belittle the poster and their poor choice of words, lack of social skills, limited vocabulary, etc.

Sucks, it sucks, or some combination thereof, had previously appeared in over 100 different threads on this board before yesterday. One popular poster said, "...signed up for Embarqs alledged Hi-Speed service and as the Kids of today say,"it sucks".... No negative comments. Hmmm..guess the term wasn't offensive then. Or maybe this board was a kinder place then.

Oh, and if you're one of the grammar critics on here please make sure that you use the following words correctly:

1) your and you're
2) advice and advise
3) their, there. and they're.

Thanks for listening.

[paulandjean]

"Think this posting sucks"

[mickey100]

I haven't seen the postings you refer to, but I have noticed at times that members seem to pile on against someone when there is a disagreement. It does take on the appearance of bullying, and being a new member, I have been nervous about posting for that reason.

[The Villager II]

I haven't seen the postings you refer to, but I have noticed at times that members seem to pile on against someone when there is a disagreement. It does take on the appearance of bullying, and being a new member, I have been nervous about posting for that reason.

Jump in there and be confident that the Admin folks will reprimand anyone getting too far out of line or becoming to personal. Yes, I speak from experience.

:wave:

[carm310]

One of the reasons I limit my posts.

[Happinow]

I also limit my posts for this very reason. There are bully's on here and I got bullied a while back. I went off the forum for a while and decided if this is what I needed to put up with. I came back on with limited posts and I also PM a lot more so everyone doesn't read everything I say so as not to bully me again. There's all kinds of people out there and people get over confident typing behind a computer. I learned my lesson. The administrator does a good job at trying to keep things in check. Thanks administrator.

[CarGuys]

If were gonna wine I'm all for the education you can read from I2rdHD. He seem to know about Wine!

As for retired English teachers and Grammer Police I think TOTV is a more gooder place with the very bestest people!

Suck is also the intake stroke on a engine.

Now I'm off to new Ram Truck new technology training and leaving the whinning to a power steering pump. :2excited:

[graciegirl]

In my opinion, on Monday afternoon/evening we all witnessed another example of what I'll term a "Pack Attack" on one contributor to the board. That person used the term "sucks" in their description of whatever they had an opinion about.

According to Urban Dictionary, June 19: (http://www.urbandictionary.com), the term is "believed to have originated from street racing or traffic light racing in the USA. The slower cars are left "sucking" the exhaust fumes and smoked rubber of the leaders. Something is crap, a loser, broken, second rate".

Lots of people jumped on the opportunity to belittle the poster and their poor choice of words, lack of social skills, limited vocabulary, etc.

Sucks, it sucks, or some combination thereof, had previously appeared in over 100 different threads on this board before yesterday. One popular poster said, "...signed up for Embarqs alledged Hi-Speed service and as the Kids of today say,"it sucks".... No negative comments. Hmmm..guess the term wasn't offensive then. Or maybe this board was a kinder place then.

Oh, and if you're one of the grammar critics on here please make sure that you use the following words correctly:

1) your and you're
2) advice and advise
3) their, there. and they're.

Thanks for listening.

I agree with you but I still don't like the term.

[collie1228]

Thanks for posting this. I read the thread and noticed that at that time I read it, there were nine responses, and five of them were critical of the OP's use of the word "sucks". I used to contribute frequently to this board, but much less now, as there is way too much personal attacking going on. You may not think the criticism of someone's language is an attack, but I'm pretty sure the person who is the target of the criticism feels attacked. These boards give people the opportunity to say things they would probably never say in a face-to-face conversation. One poster's comment "I really don't like that expression" was reasonable and not an attack, but some of the postings that followed were over the top.

[graciegirl]

I also limit my posts for this very reason. There are bully's on here and I got bullied a while back. I went off the forum for a while and decided if this is what I needed to put up with. I came back on with limited posts and I also PM a lot more so everyone doesn't read everything I say so as not to bully me again. There's all kinds of people out there and people get over confident typing behind a computer. I learned my lesson. The administrator does a good job at trying to keep things in check. Thanks administrator.


I too have been bullied and hurt badly on this forum. It is NEVER the people who have an avatar picture, believe me and NEVER the people who show up at the Crispers meeting. I know of several good friends who were depressed for WEEKS after bullying on here. It is something you would think that people old enough to live here would know about.

I don't think disagreeing with someone is bullying. It is all how you phrase it and you cannot hide a kind heart OR a mean one.

I use some nasty discriptors on here. I use ****, and damn and hell. That is how I talk in real life.....at times. I guess that the word sucks just kinda picks at me. I don't know why. There are many here that are not good spellers, but that doesn't make them not wise. Some folks have a slight form of dyslexia and envisioning letters and words is not easy. Many successful and very smart people are bad spellers. Even good spellers forget at times when typing.

There are some of our age or older because of family circumstances had to go to work and to not finish school, but they still ended of financially able to come here and live and bless them for that.

I would like to apologize if I hurt the person that used the word suck. I didn't mean to hurt you. It just does remind me of "whatever" and whatever the terms are now that teens use. Our two grands are young adults and pretty articulate by now, but I hated that phase.

There are ALL kinds of people here and you can tell by their postings whether there would be kindness in their eyes and fairness in their hearts if you would meet them and know them in person and maybe SOME have somehow missed the bad places and sad places and awful worries that most of us have experienced to get to be at least 55. By that time most people have learned compassion, the hard way. Awful things usually cause us to be more considerate of others.

And sometimes it just makes us bitter. And some people just don't care about other people and never will.

And somedays I just wake up as mean as a snake. I think we all do.
It helps to be reminded. Thank you CarolSells.

Disagreeing with people is NOT bullying. Joking can be...but it is a little lesser evil.

Just my humble opinion. ............sigh................again.

[jimbo2012]

The term doesn't bother me, it's very often used in many parts of the country and on national television including the news.

What bothers me in this thread is folks who said they hesitate in posting their views & opinions for concern of being bullied by others, that sucks.

No one needs that negativity in their lives.

It is easy to add anyone to your "ignore list" you'll never see their posts.

But all they are is "closet bullies", and as said before would not say such things to your face.

It is also easy to report to the admin an objectionable post by clicking the little icon in the upper right corner https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/images/talkofthevillages/buttons/report.gif and send a msg to admin :cus:.

If the admin gets several reports they will take appropriate action.

.

[rp001]

Boy, if you think this is bad, go over to the political board..If you mention anything anti kool-aid you get attacked by the "gang of six", and they are downright abusive, of course they never "cross the line"..Righttttt

[hotrodgirl]

Sometimes it is not a word itself, but the context in which it is used that can be offensive to some. As a new member, I also felt I was a bit bullied, but perservered and in the end I realized that people have differing opinions and are entitled to them. I don't think anyone meant to be cruel or bully. Some are more opinionated than others, and I just take that with a grain of salt (and a margarita)! Everyone moves to TV to relax and enjoy life, so perhaps we should all take a step back and think about why we live here or want to in the first place. No one is going to agree all of the time, let's face it! I have a lot of respect for almost all of the posters on this forum. It's a great avenue for information and for making friends and I would not like to think that a few akward posts would prevent one from continuing to contribute here. So far I am just a land owner and SO look forward to being able to meet forum members and enjoy all the wonderful amenities in TV. Counting the days........

[skyguy79]

Boy, if you think this is bad, go over to the political board..If you mention anything anti kool-aid you get attacked by the "gang of six", and they are downright abusive, of course they never "cross the line"..RightttttI agree about it being bad over there. I joined the political forum some time ago after holding out for more than a year, but I barely lasted a whole 24 hours. I couldn't take what I felt were spins and distortions that I was reading or how they were affecting me.

However, if I'm reading what you've posted correctly, I for the most part found it to be pretty much the opposite of what I think you're trying to portray. If I posted anything that didn't agree with the opinions of some others with different views, I would be attacked by a few of them. I didn't need that kind of treatment nor the anger it was provoking, so I just left the political forum in disgust rather that let it consume me with anger!

[graciegirl]

Sometimes it is not a word itself, but the context in which it is used that can be offensive to some. As a new member, I also felt I was a bit bullied, but perservered and in the end I realized that people have differing opinions and are entitled to them. I don't think anyone meant to be cruel or bully. Some are more opinionated than others, and I just take that with a grain of salt (and a margarita)! Everyone moves to TV to relax and enjoy life, so perhaps we should all take a step back and think about why we live here or want to in the first place. No one is going to agree all of the time, let's face it! I have a lot of respect for almost all of the posters on this forum. It's a great avenue for information and for making friends and I would not like to think that a few akward posts would prevent one from continuing to contribute here. So far I am just a land owner and SO look forward to being able to meet forum members and enjoy all the wonderful amenities in TV. Counting the days........

We are too. You are gonna love it and you will fit right in!:pepper2:

[njbchbum]

and so we have another opinion expressed and we got a grammar lesson to boot. we are all the wiser for that info. thanx

[disney07]

"Think this posting sucks"

I'm not going to comment on a intelligent (LACK OF) and immature posting :yuck:

[mickey100]

Jimbo, thanks for the info on icons and message to admins.

[rp001]

I agree about it being bad over there. I joined the political forum some time ago after holding out for more than a year, but I barely lasted a whole 24 hours. I couldn't take what I felt were spins and distortions that I was reading or how they were affecting me.

However, if I'm reading what you've posted correctly, I for the most part found it to be pretty much the opposite of what I think you're trying to portray. If I posted anything that didn't agree with the opinions of some others with different views, I would be attacked by a few of them. I didn't need that kind of treatment nor the anger it was provoking, so I just left the political forum in disgust rather that let it consume me with anger!

I'm agreeing with this wholeheartedly...the few you mention are what I refer too as the "gang of six"...They dominate the conversation, repeatedly twist and distort anything in opposition of their thoughts, and ALWAYS pile on..I too had enough...

[EdV]

getting to far out of line or becoming to personal..

And then there's to, too, and two.

[jblum315]

And affect and effect

[TOTV Team]

We have numerous people who monitor the site for issues. If you ever see comments being directed at a user vs. the topic please click the red triangle and it will be sent to us for review and appropriate action. This way you can be a part of the solution as well.

[BaylorBear]

"Disagreeing with people is NOT bullying..."

TOTALLY AGREE, GRACIE!! You and I are of one mind!! I guess that makes us both brilliant????

[gerryann]

This whole discussion seems to be about the word "sucks".....I agree it is a word that certainly gets ones point across. If there were no guidelines on this forum, I'm sure that we'd see a LOT more words that we don't like to see or hear. Unfortunately, the words that the the younger generation use on a very regular basis, very often really bother the older generation.....we just didn't use them in our time..some guys might have used it in the military or the locker room...but it was not acceptable language. It is funny how a "word" can turn people off. I know when I was bringing my children up, I had and still do have a real hate of the phrase "shut Up".....just HATED it. I don't think anyone means to bully anyone by saying that they have a problem with this word...I don't like it either, but it has been used here lately.

[paulandjean]

I have to know,Who is the gang of six?........

[jimbo2012]

gang of 6

http://crooksandliars.com/files/vfs/2011/04/right-wing-gang-of-6.jpg

[ilovetv]

I don't know why saying "It sucks!" is more vulgar to some than saying "It stinks!"

As teenagers, we used to say, "Oh, go suck an egg." I don't think anybody associated that with a sexual deed.

I think saying "It's gross" gets the point across pretty well.

[rp001]

Gang of six is just an acronym..go over to that site(political) and just watch for about a week..You'll see immediately who they are..They dominate every conversation..They thrive in running any opposition thinking out. They stay on admin's side by NOT getting too personal. At least that is the way it was in the past..

[skyguy79]

I don't know why saying "It sucks!" is more vulgar to some than saying "It stinks!"

As teenagers, we used to say, "Oh, go suck an egg." I don't think anybody associated that with a sexual deed.

I think saying "It's gross" gets the point across pretty well.Wow! I've never associated "go suck and egg" with a sexual deed. My father used to love to take a raw egg, poke holes in both ends then suck the egg out of it. He got me doing it too when I was a kid. I wasn't interested enough though to continue doing it when I became an adult. Now some may say that it's not safe to do that, but it never hurt me or my father, and he lived to the age of 88.

[zonerboy]

Seems to be a lot of anger out there these days. Maybe it is related to the recent financial collapse which effected many innocent people. Unemployment, loss of homes or equity in homes, disappearing retirement plans, etc.
Forums like these where posters are more or less anonymous are often outlets for angry feelings. Things can be said which would NEVER be said in face to face conversation.
Please keep politeness in mind when expressing your opinions. If someone disagree with you, don't attack them. Address their arguments instead.
Enough preaching!
By the way, I don't like the term " sucks" either. To me it has a rather unpleasant sexual connotation. Maybe I just have a dirty mind.

[jimbo2012]

By the way, I don't like the term " sucks" either. To me it has a rather unpleasant sexual connotation. Maybe I just have a dirty mind.

I agree you may have that mindset:eek:, never thought of that term used that way.

Maybe it's a generational thing. :shrug:

[Villages PL]

Here's what I have noticed because it has been done to me on a few occasions. Someone wants to be insulting but doesn't want to get in trouble for it. So they try to cleverly characterize (belittle) you in a round about way. For example, they might say, "nobody likes a (blankety blank) person.

So, they didn't say, "you are a blankety blank person". But it's fairly obvious who it was aimed at. Is that acceptable?

Thankfully, I just learned today how to report these insults. Now, if I have to wait for enough people to vote against the violation, it may never get deleted. It was said that more than one person has the complain.

Another problem is: People are from all over the U.S. and can claim that certain words are used differently where they come from. But I don't quite by it.

[graciegirl]

I agree you may have that mindset:eek:, never thought of that term used that way.

Maybe it's a generational thing. :shrug:

Or a geographic thing. Or a cultural thing or lack of cultural thing or something like arguing about tattoos. ;)

Or what your mama smacked you about. It could be a lot of stuff. But it is getting to be another one of those contests, don'tcha know.

[Villages PL]

Another problem: When people, often in groups, gang up in a thread just to be disruptive. They don't like the subject or topic so they just try to disrupt any substantive conversation. They change the topic amongst themselves and keep going back and forth with it. But now that I know how to report it, I will.

[2BNTV]

Some people cannot tolerate smoking in their home.

Some people cannot tolerate drinking in their home.

Some people cannot tolerate vulgar language in their home.

A priest one informed using the "f" word was not cursing but being vulgar. Using the Lord's name in vain was cursing.

It could be in today times, standards are slipping. Using the "s" word comes under the vulgar heading. IMHO

I believe anyone can say what they want or need to say in a nice way even when disagreeing and not be hurtful. Agreeing to disagree respectfully. It just takes a little more thought and effort.

Just sayin...........

[eweissenbach]

There are people on every discussion board that simply have a confrontational style, and rub people the wrong way. I have also noticed that many people try to come to the defense of a "friend" on the board, and seemingly gang up on someone who disagreed or, in their mind, insulted their friend. I try to always respect the other person's opinion, although I disagree, but it is very very very easy to be misunderstood or misread when you can't add body language, facial clues, or immediate feedback to the conversation. I have, in several years of posting on various boards, made statements that were not digested in the way I intended by various people and this is extremely frustrating. I try not to take these boards, and conversations, too seriously, and keep things in perspective. The reality is that I get along with the vast majority of people I interact with in real life, and probably would with most people on a given forum. I also am willing to put many pictures of myself on the site along with a great deal of real information about myself - for example, my screen name is my real name, so I am not interested in hiding behind anonymity like some people. If you don't like me, my name is Ed Weissenbach, and I wish you well anyway.

[zonerboy]

If some one says to you "You suck!", I really don't think they are expressing a desire that you should enjoy a pleasant experience with a raw egg. It's more of an urban expression than a rural one.
Anyhow, I don't like it, so I don't use it.
You may do as you please.
Best wishes.

[2 Oldcrabs]

:Maybe people can settle it in the Town Square with boxing gloves. A new type of entertainment for "Florida's Friendliest Home Town". Are we just a bunch of big kids? Get over it ! ::boxing2:

[2BNTV]

There are people on every discussion board that simply have a confrontational style, and rub people the wrong way. I have also noticed that many people try to come to the defense of a "friend" on the board, and seemingly gang up on someone who disagreed or, in their mind, insulted their friend. I try to always respect the other person's opinion, although I disagree, but it is very very very easy to be misunderstood or misread when you can't add body language, facial clues, or immediate feedback to the conversation. I have, in several years of posting on various boards, made statements that were not digested in the way I intended by various people and this is extremely frustrating. I try not to take these boards, and conversations, too seriously, and keep things in perspective. The reality is that I get along with the vast majority of people I interact with in real life, and probably would with most people on a given forum. I also am willing to put many pictures of myself on the site along with a great deal of real information about myself - for example, my screen name is my real name, so I am not interested in hiding behind anonymity like some people. If you don't like me, my name is Ed Weissenbach, and I wish you well anyway.

:agree: Thoughtful post.

[Bigben007]

Don't bully me because I write that I don't like the word sucks. I have every right to express my opinion as anyone else. I don't like the word sucks.

[billethkid]

just remember that bullying is a weakness allowed by the masses!!

btk

[eweissenbach]

just remember that bullying is a weakness allowed by the masses!!

btk

I disagree. Bullying is usually the result of "mob mentality". In other words, a group of people, a mob or clique, not necessarily the masses, decides that someone is sufficiently unlike them, or in the case of an opinion forum, has an opinion sufficiently unlike theirs, to warrent derision and ridicule that tends to make the mob feel better about themselves and confirm their superiority.

[rp001]

I disagree. Bullying is usually the result of "mob mentality". In other words, a group of people, a mob or clique, not necessarily the masses, decides that someone is sufficiently unlike them, or in the case of an opinion forum, has an opinion sufficiently unlike theirs, to warrent derision and ridicule that tends to make the mob feel better about themselves and confirm their superiority.

so very true and thoughtful..

[JLHart]

I have been and continue to be active on several different msg brds ... and in general terms a fairly height % of msg brd posters will write things they would never say in real life. In My Opinion (IMO) it is because of the anonymity of it. It is also difficult to convey nuance, which can lead to misunderstanding and over reaction.

However, it has been my experience that an even greater % of posters on this board take GREAT personal acceptation to ANYTHING that they disagree with and badly over react. IMO a big reason for this is that a proportionally higher % of posters on this msg brd are fairly new to msg brds have not learned to take stuff posted with a grain of salt.

As far as "political" forums go ... they are a waste of time, effort, energy and emotion. Honest thoughtful discussion is very, very rare. It consists of people singing-to-the-choir of fellow like minded ..... incapable of (publicly) admitting that perhaps, perhaps ..... a position or posting they championed just might not be exactly correct.

The above is IMO .... you are allowed to think it sucks and that is ok with me. ;-)

[eweissenbach]

I have been and continue to be active on several different msg brds ... and in general terms a fairly height % of msg brd posters will write things they would never say in real life. In My Opinion (IMO) it is because of the anonymity of it. It is also difficult to convey nuance, which can lead to misunderstanding and over reaction.

However, it has been my experience that an even greater % of posters on this board take GREAT personal acceptation to ANYTHING that they disagree with and badly over react. IMO a big reason for this is that a proportionally higher % of posters on this msg brd are fairly new to msg brds have not learned to take stuff posted with a grain of salt.

As far as "political" forums go ... they are a waste of time, effort, energy and emotion. Honest thoughtful discussion is very, very rare. It consists of people singing-to-the-choir of fellow like minded ..... incapable of (publicly) admitting that perhaps, perhaps ..... a position or posting they championed just might not be exactly correct.

The above is IMO .... you are allowed to think it sucks and that is ok with me. ;-)

You are correct on all points. I get on the political forum occasionally only because I find it entertaining, but recognize the futility of it for the most part.

[2BNTV]

I think it's time for some:


:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: