How do you make the decision? [Archive] - Talk of The Villages Florida

JSX2=US

07-23-2012, 07:20 PM

Finallyfree

07-23-2012, 07:29 PM

I feel your pain. It was difficult leaving our kids, grandkids, and great friends when we moved here. Having said that, I couldn't be happier! Our children encouraged us to move and some have already visited, their feeling was that we have worked hard and earned living here. As for your other concern, I did not feel like I changed, but did feel free to be who I really am, no preconceived ideas of who or what I was supposed to be because no one knew me. We are still in the process of meeting people, and have met one really great neighbor so far. We have been in the house two weeks. Good luck in your decision making, I know when we visited here, we knew it was three place we wanted to be.

perrjojo

07-23-2012, 07:31 PM

We are doing our research about moving to TV. My question is one that you probably all asked yourselves at one point........
How do you leave a home you love, friends, doctors, a church, family, civic and social organizations you have been a part of for years and love?
How difficult is it to "start over"? Do you lose the person you were in a former life when you move to a location where noboby knows you and you know no one?
Is it a tough adjustment? Looking for some wisdom.
All responses appreciated. Thanks
Starting over can be great....if you want it to be. Remember that old saying? Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold. Starting over is not without stress but it can also have it's rewards. You may lose some of "who you were" but just think of how amazing you CAN be. We have just started over in the villages after spending winters here for 10 years. It has been a great and rewarding experience but not without some stress. Would I do it again? Absolutely!

asianthree

07-23-2012, 07:34 PM

keeping both houses just staying less up north

bike42

07-23-2012, 07:49 PM

Get your friends from up north to come and visit you and they will move here too!

jane032657

07-23-2012, 08:01 PM

We will be moving permanantly in early November from Seattle. My sons live in Toronto so I am so pleased to be closer to them but my daughter, my youngest, who I speak to multiple times a day and see reguarly, and am very close to, she is staying in Seattle at this time. She is almost 26 and single, I do not know where she will land but I have a pain in my heart to leave her. I hope she marries someone on the East Coast!!! She is one of my best friends and one of the loves of my life. It is so hard to have it all....but I long for her to meet someone that wants to move East!!! I lose sleep over this sadness.

Barefoot

07-23-2012, 08:56 PM

Many purchasers in TV keep a condo or cottage "back home". Some say 40% of residents are snowbirds. Just one solution.

Mikeod

07-23-2012, 09:05 PM

jane032657

07-23-2012, 09:26 PM

Another perspective. I never expected to leave CA. But it was getting crowded in our town, growing from 3k to about 80K. Our son and his family were in Sarasota, so it seemed like a good move to come here. Our son and family now are in Chicago so we discussed whether to move closer, but we so enjoy it here with all our new friends that we have NO desire to move. Besides, planes fly both ways!

This is part of the reason I have made choices in my life not based on my children, as I know children marry, move, have career opportunities and you cannot base your life on where they sit today; nor should you put pressure on them because you did make certain moves based on where you thought they would stay. None the less, heartache takes time to dissipate. A mom is a mom is a mom and a daughter and a mom have a special bond. At least Cassandra and I do.

njbchbum

07-23-2012, 09:34 PM

don't think of it as losing who you are - you will always be the sum of your total life - better you think of it as finding a part of you that you haven't had the chance to be yet.

and if you think that the oppty to grow might be too stressful at this time in your life, perhaps finding a way to rent for several months to give yourself a fair trial is a better way than taking the plunge.

JSX2=US

07-23-2012, 10:18 PM

Thanks everyone for your insights. Yes, planes do fly both ways. Friends can come visit.
Just getting very pensive in my old age!
Glad to hear all the various opinions.

CaptJohn

07-23-2012, 10:21 PM

We are doing our research about moving to TV. My question is one that you probably all asked yourselves at one point........
How do you leave a home you love, friends, doctors, a church, family, civic and social organizations you have been a part of for years and love?
How difficult is it to "start over"? Do you lose the person you were in a former life when you move to a location where noboby knows you and you know no one?
Is it a tough adjustment? Looking for some wisdom.
All responses appreciated. Thanks

:welcome: to the TOTV forum. You have come to the right place for answers as you can already see. There are many here who have gone before you and can comfort you in your decision. As a previous poster mentioned, you can expand your personality since you won't be confined by the previous setting you were in plus all the things you left will be multiplied in TV. Only the faces will change and the old faces can come to visit. Do a lot of searches in this forum and read as much s you can. There is good wisdom here. Good luck in your choices.

Golfer in Sanibel

07-23-2012, 10:23 PM

Without going into detail, my wife and I have done for others all our lives. When we discovered TV we agreed it was a time in our lives to do for ourselves. We have only been here a month but we are thrilled. We are finally through the work phase and looking forward to the play phase. But, this place is awesome and beautiful.

The funny thing is we have had company from up north for about half the time we've been here. Our kids and friends love TV and are really happy for us.

We ahve taken the activity schedule and put the times and dates of the activities we want to try first into our planner. NOW the fun starts. Wahoo!!:a040:

Trish Crocker

07-23-2012, 10:34 PM

I understand your questioning..I think we have all done it. Even now, knowing that we have made the decision to move I still have guilt feelings. The thing that gets me through is looking at all of the people that I have known and watched grow older, parents, aunts and uncles, family friends, etc. The one thing that I noticed is that as they grew older, their world got smaller. They watched their friends move away or pass away and didn't have the opportunities to make new friends. Eventually they felt old...sitting home waiting for the 'kids' to visit. I really don't want to sound maudlin, there are people that continue to live rich, full lives but the very fact that we would consider moving shows that our lives are already starting to feel smaller. I want my kids and grandkids to be happy to see us, I want my husband and I to have common interests and separate interests so we can still be interesting to each other...I want to go to DisneyWorld whenever I want (ok..I just threw that one in..but it's true :))
Don't feel bad about wanting to move, my mom lived in Florida and a lot of our best memories was going to Florida to see Grandma.

jimmy D

07-23-2012, 10:35 PM

You make this decision just like the other decisions. you weigh pros and cons.

after a lifetime of adventures my wife and I decided to have an adventure of a lifetime.

Only 88000 people here from millions. Stay where you are, you have too much fear and not enough faith Sorry

jimmy D

07-23-2012, 10:39 PM

do not move you have too much fear of the unknown. sorry

SukiChu

07-23-2012, 11:52 PM

Will you be disappointed if you make the decision to stay where you are now? We have all gone through the same feelings about moving. I can't find any other place where "friends" come with the house! I am leaving my daughter and grandkids too. We are leaving friends, family, a house I love, jobs, clubs and activities because there is MORE of all of these in the Villages. I can't stand the thought of being in the house in Illinois for 6 or 7 months out of the year. I love the sun and the warmth. It's an adventure and thank goodness we still have our health to enjoy all the activities. I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy a new home and a new "season" in my life. Many, many people don't get this opportunity. Eighty-eight thousand people can't be wrong. Moving is a big job - but I think it will be well worth it. I am just going to go ahead and step out of the boat! Good luck and send me a private message if you want. Jan

graciegirl

07-24-2012, 05:28 AM

Thanks everyone for your insights. Yes, planes do fly both ways. Friends can come visit.
Just getting very pensive in my old age!
Glad to hear all the various opinions.

I think that your best option is to snowbird. A lot of folks sell their primary home and move to smaller quarters and buy OR RENT an affordable part time home here.

If you have small grandchildren, think about this option.

We waited until both of ours had gone off to college and then moved here full time.

I understand your hesitancy.

We found rewarding friendships right away with like minded folks in the same situation in life. There are fewer years ahead than there are behind and now is the time to be a little selfish.

2 Oldcrabs

07-24-2012, 06:17 AM

Whay not rent here for 3-6 months? It will give you an Idea of what is like to be away from "Home". Rents are reasonable from May to Nov.

perrjojo

07-24-2012, 08:49 AM

We are doing our research about moving to TV. My question is one that you probably all asked yourselves at one point........
How do you leave a home you love, friends, doctors, a church, family, civic and social organizations you have been a part of for years and love?
How difficult is it to "start over"? Do you lose the person you were in a former life when you move to a location where noboby knows you and you know no one?
Is it a tough adjustment? Looking for some wisdom.
All responses appreciated. Thanks

You have listed your concerns about moving and it made me wonder why you are thinking of moving here. I would think you would need to weigh the reasons of why the move would be a good idea against the things you feel you would give up. I once read , "advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer.". I don't know who said it but it makes sense to me. :-). Anyway, good luck with your decision. I think those suggesting you rent for awhile have given excellent advise.

JSX2=US

07-24-2012, 09:49 AM

2BNTV

07-24-2012, 11:00 AM

I think it's normal for some people to have some fear or anxiety about a big move when they have many friends, family and are contemplating moving away from known routines. However, I think renting for a while is your best option.

My wanting to move is to be closer to my family so it's a no brainer for me. I will be looking forward to family and friends visiting and see what TV is all about. I'm sure they will love it.

Best wishes for whatever you decide. :smiley:

Barefoot

07-24-2012, 11:32 AM

I think that your best option is to snowbird. A lot of folks sell their primary home and move to smaller quarters and buy OR RENT an affordable part time home here.

I agree with GG. A lot of people have two homes. It's a great option for those who want to still be part of their home community, and also enjoy the wonderful weather and lifestyle of TV in the winter months.

And you don't have too much fear! You're just asking some logical questions, and I don't blame you. It's a big decision. That's why I think you should just try on the lifestyle and see if it fits.

jgbama

07-24-2012, 11:52 AM

Stay where you are, you have too much fear and not enough faith Sorry

OUCH, you judge me based on one post?

......Thanks everyone else for the very thoughtful replies.
I think renting is a great option and probably the way we will go.
There is much wisdom on this board , that's just what I was seeking.
Thanks again

Some tend to do that here! You will make friends right here on TOTV (I did). Come for a Lifestyle Visit for a week. Plan it around the 3rd Friday of the month. That is when people here on this forum meet at Crispers at 3pm. You will meet folks from this forum in person, and feel like you've been friends already. Meeting people is the easiest thing to do in TV. Attend any activity, visit a recreation center and just tell whoever you bump into, "hi, we are here for the first time. Do you live here?" People love sharing the joys about their new "hometown". Making friends was not a worry we had. Plus, there are probably people in TV from your hometown you can connect with immediately.

Yes, moving is a challenge, but after you visit and decide to move. . .everything that qualifies as "work" or "a pain" will be worth every moment, because you will be moving to "lower paradise" and can truly enjoy each precious day the Lord gives us! Leaving friends and family can get emotional. We are preparing to leave our 27-year old son, my brother, our lifelong friends, and a wonderful church and a loving, caring Sunday School class. But, they are all happy for us. Anyone who doesn't support you is doing you a disservice, or are envious. Either way, decide what's best for you and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way.

We are moving within a month or so, and it has been a 7-year journey. Are we excited? YOU BETCHA!!:pepper2::pepper2::a040::MOJE_whot:

Come join us and - :welcome:

jimmy D

07-24-2012, 08:13 PM

I feel your fear of new adventures. Love to have you here, but you should stay put.

Moving on is always an adventure.

Pturner

07-24-2012, 08:36 PM

We are doing our research about moving to TV. My question is one that you probably all asked yourselves at one point........
How do you leave a home you love, friends, doctors, a church, family, civic and social organizations you have been a part of for years and love?
How difficult is it to "start over"? Do you lose the person you were in a former life when you move to a location where noboby knows you and you know no one?
Is it a tough adjustment? Looking for some wisdom.
All responses appreciated. Thanks

Hi JSX2,
You asked a great question and have come to the right place to ask. You didn't mention whether you have young grandchildren living near you now. That always makes it harder to leave.

As for whether you lose the person you were, I think moving to TV-- like most new experiences from going off to college to changing jobs to raising a family-- expands and who you are and does not diminish who you were.

Yes, rent for a while and see what you think. And remember to keep us posted.

:beer3:

ssmith

07-25-2012, 08:27 AM

I think you are being wise to ask and think. No one will know the right decision for anyone else. It does help to get others ideas though.

Don't sweat the negative posts. It takes all kinds to make this old world go around. Just have thicker skin and don't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bushel! ;)

2BNTV

07-25-2012, 08:35 AM

I look at advice as someone needing more information to make a decision.
As with any tough decision, one wants to have as much information available as possible I'm sure it will become clear to you as time goes on.

Renting for a year will help greatly. :smiley:

hotrodgirl

07-25-2012, 09:12 AM

JSX2, only you definitively can decide what is right for you and your situation, but as smith said, don't let a negative post or two deter you from making an informed decision. When I was very new to posting, one of my first posts was on a dog poop thread-very infamous on TV. One of the posts bothered me so much that I thought I would perhaps reconsider my plans to move there. After a nights sleep, I reconsidered, thought about my own preferences, decided everyone has a right to their own opinions and moved on. Since that time I have found that persons posts to be fair, somewhat edgy, but non-confrontational. No harm, no foul... These is an awesome amount of good advice on the forum, people are glad to help you, but the final decision is what makes you the most comfortable. It is hard to leave things and people behind, but fun to move ahead to a new future as well!

CalcTeacher

07-25-2012, 10:59 AM

My parents...who are both 73...just packed up the house they had lived in for 43 years and moved to TV a month ago. Their emotions, my emotions, and my siblings' emotions are still very fresh. It was VERY hard for my mom to fathom leaving family and all that is familiar to her. Change is hard no matter what your age. But they weren't having much of a retirement and we didn't like them just sitting around waiting for someone to come visit them. So we encouraged them to come for a LSV. And while they fell in love with TV, "leaving the family and grandkids in Virginia" was a recurring theme of many conversations. (Some grandkids are in their late teens and early 20s but some are preschool age.) Here we are 5 weeks later and they are still adjusting but I think overall they are happy with their decision. I think overall if they were really TRULY happy with the life they had, they never would have considered the LSV. So the fact that the OP is exploring options tells me a lot...

Yorio

07-25-2012, 11:21 AM

The question for us would be, if our grandchildren did't move to Orlando, would we be moving here permanently? Probably, we'll try to keep both places as long as the finance lasts. Definitely, our place in Northern Virginia is more cosmopolitan close to DC and our friends are from all over the world. Yes, when we bought into TV last year, they pleaded us not to pack up. But, it was also three of my friends who finally packed up and moved to TV. We visited them several times and finally made the big jump. Take your time if you can and start asking your friends to visit you when you get something here. Who knows, they might like it here too just like we did. In fact our in laws will be buying next year. Good luck:ho: