Calling All Minnesotans

[rubicon]

I am having withdrawal pains from my lack of hearing those very funny Ole/ Lena jokes.

Any takers?

[Taltarzac725]

I am having withdrawal pains from my lack of hearing those very funny Ole/ Lena jokes.

Any takers?

I lived in MN from late August 1986 through late November 1991. So, here goes-- Ole & Lena Jokes (http://www.surfminnesota.net/olelena.html)

[eweissenbach]

I lived in MN from late August 1986 through late November 1991. So, here goes-- Ole & Lena Jokes (http://www.surfminnesota.net/olelena.html)

Our whole family is going to Big Sand Lake by Park Rapids next week. I will see if Sven Olson has any new ones that are clean enough to post here.

[Bruiser1]

I am having withdrawal pains from my lack of hearing those very funny Ole/ Lena jokes.

Any takers?

Ole has an industrial accident and is driven To Duluth. When He gets there ,he says "you gotta help me I cut off my fingers on a table saw."

The Doctor says "Ole you should have brought the fingers! They could be reattached at the Mayo Clinic" "Why didn't you pick them up?"

"Pick them up ..with what?"

Sven decides to go to the North Shore and he stops at the Greyhound Bus Depot.
"Dus dis bus go to Daloot"

Driver " no it goes beep beep !":1rotfl:

[rubicon]

I am laughing so hard the tears are flowing Please keep them coming they are good for what ails you

[buggyone]

Ole and Lena live on the border of Minnesota and Iowa in Southern Minnesota. One day the surveyor comes by and says a mistake was made many years ago in the surveying and their farm is actually in Iowa.

Ole says to Lena, "Thank God for that. I don't think I could take another Minnesota winter."

[Tweety Bird]

Oh yah!, you betcha' Love Garrison Kieler! Write me!

[Bruiser1]

Ole goes fishin' everyday and comes home with bucket fuls of fish.

the Game warden follows Ole out to the ol' fishin' hole .
He watches as Ole reaches into the tackle box and pulls out a stick of tnt.
Ole lights it
The warden says "Ole' you can't do that! It's illegal"
(The fuse continues to burn )

Ole' sees the fuse is getting short and says
"did ya come out to Bee Ess or to fish?"

Ole is a great winter fisherman.
"What do you use for bait Ole ,minnows?"

Ole shakes his head
"Artificial lures ?"

Ole shakes his head
Sven says "what do you use den?"

"mmmmnmnnmn'

"What?"


Ole finally opens his mouth "worms but you got to keep them warm!"

[stuckinparadise]

These jokes are great! It reminds me of my younger days in Wisconsin

[eweissenbach]

Ole goes out ice fishing.

He finds a promising spot, drills a hole in the ice and lowers his jig into it.

Getting no bites at the first hole he moves on to the next spot, drills his hole, and again begins to fish.

Suddenly from high above he hears a deep voice that says Ole - Dere are no fish Dere

Ole begins to shake and look around for the source of the voice

Again the voice from on high Ole - Deres no fish dere

Ole trembling uncontrollably now hollars Izz dat you Lord?

The voice bellows down "No dis is sven, da manager of da ice rink"

[rubicon]

Ole and Lena live on the border of Minnesota and Iowa in Southern Minnesota. One day the surveyor comes by and says a mistake was made many years ago in the surveying and their farm is actually in Iowa.

Ole says to Lena, "Thank God for that. I don't think I could take another Minnesota winter."

That area between the Minnesota/Iowa truly has some very bad weather often closing I35 Love the story. Ole/Lena stories fit me well

[rubicon]

Ole has an industrial accident and is driven To Duluth. When He gets there ,he says "you gotta help me I cut off my fingers on a table saw."

The Doctor says "Ole you should have brought the fingers! They could be reattached at the Mayo Clinic" "Why didn't you pick them up?"

"Pick them up ..with what?"

Sven decides to go to the North Shore and he stops at the Greyhound Bus Depot.
"Dus dis bus go to Daloot"

Driver " no it goes beep beep !":1rotfl:

Well bruiser i have been to Duluth and i have been to Mayo Clinic and the air temperature around Lake superior even on a hot day like todays surprised me as did the efficiency of Mayo clinic in Rochester.

[rubicon]

Ole goes fishin' everyday and comes home with bucket fuls of fish.

the Game warden follows Ole out to the ol' fishin' hole .
He watches as Ole reaches into the tackle box and pulls out a stick of tnt.
Ole lights it
The warden says "Ole' you can't do that! It's illegal"
(The fuse continues to burn )

Ole' sees the fuse is getting short and says
"did ya come out to Bee Ess or to fish?"

Ole is a great winter fisherman.
"What do you use for bait Ole ,minnows?"

Ole shakes his head
"Artificial lures ?"

Ole shakes his head
Sven says "what do you use den?"

"mmmmnmnnmn'

"What?"


Ole finally opens his mouth "worms but you got to keep them warm!"

I was surprised to see featured on a local sports station when living in Minnesota a guy who had a $100,000 ice house for winter fishinh. that place had every convenience you could imagine TV Kitchen family room etc. and of course seven areas around the interior perimeter to sit and fish. Now that's some serious ice fishing

[rubicon]

Ole goes out ice fishing.

He finds a promising spot, drills a hole in the ice and lowers his jig into it.

Getting no bites at the first hole he moves on to the next spot, drills his hole, and again begins to fish.

Suddenly from high above he hears a deep voice that says Ole - Dere are no fish Dere

Ole begins to shake and look around for the source of the voice

Again the voice from on high Ole - Deres no fish dere

Ole trembling uncontrollably now hollars Izz dat you Lord?

The voice bellows down "No dis is sven, da manager of da ice rink"

I am relying these stories to my wife and I don't know which one of us is laughing harder.

Minnesota Nice

[mgjim]

You probably heard that Lena tried out for the Olympic swim team in the 200 meter breaststroke. She came in last in the the qualifying round. When she was interviewed after her loss, she said, "I hate to complain but I tink some of dose vimen vas using der arms."

[eweissenbach]

There are two seasons in Minnesota, winter and road construction.

[eweissenbach]

There are two seasons in Minnesota, good ice fishing and bad ice fishing.

[eweissenbach]

There are two seasons in Minnesota, hockey season and bad skating.

[rubicon]

My brother who had moved to Florida early on called me to let me know how close Minneapolis was to International Fallls. I replied by telling him Yea but its a dry cold which is true in that you can layer properly and stay wrm outside. combine dampness and cold like many staes and there are not enough layers to stop the dampness from reaching your bones. and yes I did like to snowblow my driveway and in fact often did some of my neighbors. Your probably right in saying that guy ain't right.

[eweissenbach]

My brother who had moved to Florida early on called me to let me know how close Minneapolis was to International Fallls. I replied by telling him Yea but its a dry cold which is true in that you can layer properly and stay wrm outside. combine dampness and cold like many staes and there are not enough layers to stop the dampness from reaching your bones. and yes I did like to snowblow my driveway and in fact often did some of my neighbors. Your probably right in saying that guy ain't right.

You're right rubi. I always said when the North Dakota or Minnesota winters got rough that the coldest I ever had been was in Missouri when it is 30 degrees with a 20 mph wind and high humidity. It cuts through you like a sharp knife. I lived "up nort" for 7 years and never once missed work on account of weather. I moved back to the Kansas City area in January of 1996 and the second week I was there we had an ice storm that kept me from going to work for two days - go figure.

[rubicon]

You're right rubi. I always said when the North Dakota or Minnesota winters got rough that the coldest I ever had been was in Missouri when it is 30 degrees with a 20 mph wind and high humidity. It cuts through you like a sharp knife. I lived "up nort" for 7 years and never once missed work on account of weather. I moved back to the Kansas City area in January of 1996 and the second week I was there we had an ice storm that kept me from going to work for two days - go figure.

coach: I lived in Memphis for 5 years no snow then but ice storms just like KC
On the brighter side both KC and Memphis do ribs and pulled BBQ quite well.

[Bruiser1]

When it got below -35 (not counting windchill cause that would be bragging). I took a steaming glass of water tossed it in the air and it went from gas(steam) to liquid (water) to solid (powder) before it hit the ground.

[rubicon]

When it got below -35 (not counting windchill cause that would be bragging). I took a steaming glass of water tossed it in the air and it went from gas(steam) to liquid (water) to solid (powder) before it hit the ground.

And I've seen it recorded lower than that on occassion. What would Ole say

[Bruiser1]

And I've seen it recorded lower than that on occassion. What would Ole say

Uff Da! It's a bit nippy today!

It's -120 windchill in de shade! But who would be crazy enough to go in de shade!:coolsmiley:

[eweissenbach]

And I've seen it recorded lower than that on occassion. What would Ole say

They used to sell Sweatshirts in Fargo that said -- 40 below keeps out the riff-raff. A lot of truth to that. I had never before lived in a place where it was necessary to say "it's going to be 20 above today". Where I came from 20 was ALWAYS above!

[Bruiser1]

:1rotfl:You probably heard that Lena tried out for the Olympic swim team in the 200 meter breaststroke. She came in last in the the qualifying round. When she was interviewed after her loss, she said, "I hate to complain but I tink some of dose vimen vas using der arms."

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl::bigbow: