Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

[duffysmom]

Powerful book and a great read, helps to understand ourselves as well
as our children and grand children.

Book Description
Publication Date:January 24, 2012
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.

Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.

Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."

This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

[quirky3]

Sounds good! Thanks for posting! (said the introvert)

[jimmemac]

I resemble that remark!

[Villages PL]

I heard the author talking about her book as she was interviewed on NPR. Being an introvert myself, it did sound very interesting. :ho:

What does this say about internet discussions where there is a lot of peer pressure to think alike? (Or to not think out of the box.) If you fall in line with "group think" others will compliment you with this reply: "Well said" That remark often comes regardless of whether the idea presented is accurate or not. So, in my opinion, "group think" is often more about internet "cliques" being interested in forming "friendship bonds" rather than looking for the truth. Speaking the truth, as you see it, should be about what you really believe, rather than what you think others want to hear.

:duck:

[glgene]

Speaking the truth as you see it should be about what you really believe, rather than what you think others want to hear.

:duck:

I agree, as long as you're polite and constructive. I remember from Toastmasters this "sandwich approach" when evaluating a speaker's message and delivery:

1) Compliment
2) Recommend
3) Compliment

It's not always easy, but worthy of effort...most of the time <g>

Gene

[graciegirl]

I agree, as long as you're polite and constructive. I remember from Toastmasters this "sandwich approach" when evaluating a speaker's message and delivery:

1) Compliment
2) Recommend
3) Compliment

It's not always easy, but worthy of effort...most of the time <g>

Gene

And as I recall, never criticise, condemn or complain if you want to hold the other's attention.

[2BNTV]

Paraphrase from Dale Carnegie - Never criticize someone unless your perfect.

Nuff said, "the introvert". :D

[Villages PL]

I agree, as long as you're polite and constructive. I remember from Toastmasters this "sandwich approach" when evaluating a speaker's message and delivery:

1) Compliment
2) Recommend
3) Compliment

It's not always easy, but worthy of effort...most of the time <g>

Gene

I believe I got the (1-2) treatment on another thread, several months ago. The poster started by giving me the benifit of the doubt that I meant well. I suppose that was the compliment. Then came the "however" and a long list of complaints/recommendations or whatever. The problem is: It can come off sounding like the person is trying to be manipulative rather than genuine. Here's what I came away with: "You're a nice person, you mean well, but you realy don't know what you're talking about."

Like you said, "it's not always easy".

About being polite and constructive: I believe that's exactly what I did in my frist post above. But, inspite of it, you can see what some of the comments are. If people don't like the message, it can never be polite enough.

[Villages PL]

Wow, "group think" is alive and well! After I posted talking about peer pressure to think alike, what happened? 1) Toastmasters 2) A formula on things you should avoid doing and 3) Dale Carnegie. :) And it was done ever so politely. The message is: Whatever you do, don't be yourself because you will never be good enough unless you think like the rest of the group.

[Taltarzac725]

Thanks for the book recommendation. I am definitely an introvert. More of a listener and watcher than a talker and/or doer.

My friends have usualy tried to get me into trouble more often than not so I depend more on the canine version of friends.

Remember my college friend Tom who used to like to get free meals by having someone call him away from his restaurant table and then he would skip out on the check. He often needed two people for this con; I always refused when he wanted me to do this. More often than not; my friends try to see how much they can get away with while still keeping the friendship. Not sure if this is an introvert trait to have friends who constantly push boundaries.

Tom also hit on one jealous husband's wives once too often and was stabbed six times in the chest area. He had a miraculous recovery as he was dead for about 6 minutes. Unfortunately, he was still sleeping with married women after his resurrection. Kind of thought this was a boundary I was not willing to cross.

After the trial of his attempted murderer, he sure had a ball though when the Indiana Jones character shot the sword welding villain in the first Indiana Jones movie. I went to see it with him at a Reno, NV movie theater. Tom could not stop laughing about it. His attempted murderer got off very easily because the jury sided with the jealous husband as Tom had tried to pick up this man's wife near a Nevada whorehouse (Mustang Ranch).

Tom had lost much of his memory related to university learning from the oxygen to his brain being cut off for about 6 plus minutes.

True life is often stranger than fiction.

[quirky3]

Thanks for the book recommendation. I am definitely an introvert. More of a listener and watcher than a talker and/or doer.

My friends have usualy tried to get me into trouble more often than not so I depend more on the canine version of friends.

Remember my friend Tom who used to like to get free meals by having someone call him away from his restaurant table and then he would skip out on the check. He often needed two people for this con; I always refused when he wanted me to do this. More often than not; my friends try to see how much they can get away with while still keeping the friendship. Not sure if this is an introvert trait to have friends who constantly push boundaries.

Tom also hit on one jealous husband's wives once too often and was stabbed six times in the chest area. He had a miraculous recovery as he was dead for about 6 minutes. Unfortunately, he was still sleeping with married women after his resurrection. Kind of thought this was a boundary I was not willing to cross.

After the trial of his attempted murderer, he sure had a ball though when the Indiana Jones character shot the sword welding villain in the first Indiana Jones movie. I went to see it with him at a Reno, NV movie theater. Tom could not stop laughing about it. His attempted murderer got off very easily because the jury sided with the jealous husband as Tom had tried to pick up this man's wife near a Nevada whorehouse (Mustang Ranch).

True life is often stranger than fiction.

Sounds like "parts" of your friend Tom were "outgoing" ! A true introvert would have kept it all... to himself

[Villages PL]

The book, "Quiet", has quietly disapeared from the Belvedere Library. Sometime after this thread was started I went to the library to check it out and it was nowhere to be found. The librarian said it wasn't checked out, so it was supposed to be on the shelf.

Is it just a coincidence, or did this thread have something to do with it?

:shrug:

[Taltarzac725]

The book, "Quiet", has quietly disapeared from the Belvedere Library. Sometime after this thread was started I went to the library to check it out and it was nowhere to be found. The librarian said it wasn't checked out, so it was supposed to be on the shelf.

Is it just a coincidence, or did this thread have something to do with it?

:shrug:

Maybe, the librarian is reading it? Just kidding.

Some library client could have it in one of the restful spots in the library.

[Villages PL]

Maybe, the librarian is reading it? Just kidding.

Some library client could have it in one of the restful spots in the library.

The one that went missing is still missing. But since there's more than one copy in the library system, I was able to get it after putting in my request. It came from Pinellas Plaza Library.

[Taltarzac725]

The one that went missing is still missing. But since there's more than one copy in the library system, I was able to get it after putting in my request. It came from Pinellas Plaza Library.

Good to hear. Sumter County does seem a little weak in libraries when compared with Lake County. I have used the Lake Library System heavily in the past 4 years or so. Well worth the $20 per household every six month fee if you are a Sumter resident. Marion County residents have reciprocal borrowing rights.

[Barefoot]

Powerful book and a great read, helps to understand ourselves as well
as our children and grand children.

Book Description
Publication Date:January 24, 2012
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.

Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.

Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."

This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

This sounds like such an interesting book. I'm really looking forward to reading it. I think most people would describe themselves as introverts, because there is a little shyness in all of us.

I define an introvert as someone who recharges their batteries by seeking out solitude. And I define an extrovert as someone who gets energy from being around people. That's the way it seems to me.

[Uptown Girl]

"I define an introvert as someone who recharges their batteries by seeking out solitude. And I define an extrovert as someone who gets energy from being around people. That's the way it seems to me.".... Barefoot.

That's the way I see it too.

[judynlee]

Me, too! Perfect and simple definition. I, also, recomment that book. It's about time!

[Villages PL]

Good to hear. Sumter County does seem a little weak in libraries when compared with Lake County. I have used the Lake Library System heavily in the past 4 years or so. Well worth the $20 per household every six month fee if you are a Sumter resident. Marion County residents have reciprocal borrowing rights.

$20. every six months? Hmmm. I lived in Lake County for about 6 years and used the Lady Lake Library often. It has a good selection of health/science books and DVDs. When I moved to Sumpter County (near the Belvedere Library) I got a new drivers license and it gave my address as "Lady Lake". I couldn't figure that out because Lady Lake is in Lake County, not Sumter County. I called various places trying to resolve that issue but got nowhere.

Anyway, I was able to get a library card for Sumter and I still have my card for Lake County, although I haven't used it for a long long time. I've been in there a few times to look at Value Line reports.

[coolkayaker1]

...
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

[Villages PL]

...
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

You think quite people are fools?

[coolkayaker1]

You think quite people are fools?
I didn't make up the well-known quote.

The quote implies those that speak are the greater fools.

[Villages PL]

I didn't make up the well-known quote.

The quote implies tha those that speak are the greater fools.

So there's a wonderful potential to go from bad to worse. :)

[graciegirl]

Many years ago when writing a paper I read the book, Shyness by Phillip Zimbardo.

Very interesting and at the time well written, but we know more about human behavior these days. It may have been the time that all behavior was thought to be changable. Now we know that a lot of personality traits are inherited.

[Villages PL]

Many years ago when writing a paper I read the book, Shyness by Phillip Zimbardo.

Very interesting and at the time well written, but we know more about human behavior these days. It may have been the time that all behavior was thought to be changable. Now we know that a lot of personality traits are inherited.

Search: "Why are identical twins different?"

They have identical genes but they don't have identical experiences, and, to a large extent, experience shapes personality.